Polygamy

			real smooth out on the law. greetings of peace how you go join. We're with two special guests,
Professor Deborah Majeed, she may find herself with only two choices.
		

			One to remain single. And two to take a husband, who at some time in their marriage may take another
woman as his wife.
		

			reel to reel Sally key
		

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			any mom who saw and we're going to be talking about feed for the stars of the reality TV show Sister
Wives at federal appeals court reverses a landmark decision that decriminalized poly polygamy in
Utah. The family sued over Utah's ban on plural marriages after local prosecutors announced they may
charge Cody brown heart of that show and his wives. The ruling says the family can't sue because
charges were never filed and authorities that said they won't prosecute consenting adult polygamous
		

			polygyny. Now it's very, very some people find it very strange, because usually men will talk about
this. But now to meet a professor who actually wrote a thesis on it and fill us in. What else are
you doing on this topic? Well, for once, I want to help our society bit and Muslims to better
understand what your marriage is about. And what Islam prescribes. This idea of polygyny when a
husband shares multiple wives, has two conditions. So we're trying to correct the misconception that
polygyny is either mandated by Islam or dictated by Islam, as much as polygyny was regulated
		

			by the prophet Muhammad, and that those who practice the discipline of marriage in the United States
have great responsibility. And so match deeds across the country and across the world, in my view,
much more intent on supporting healthy marriage with
		

			Mr. moussaka tell us is this something that in your in your community or a lot of not yet Muslims,
they they bring this up and and what do you usually say when this is brought up in issue?
		

			It's been a very tough topic to talk about until recently, especially in India, then from India,
when the government tried to interfere with the Muslim personal law, particularly talking about the
divorce, many of the sisters took to the streets, practicing educated, well qualified professional
sisters, who has defended the rights, the polygyny, and said that it will find peace and security
inside. What What do you Why do you think this has been so demonized? When this is something
throughout history? It was something that was common. Yeah, but because in the United States we have
a living is against the law, by civil law requires us to have for Amanda take one legal wife. And so
		

			we have, unfortunately, have too many experiences of the practice of polygyny that has been done. In
contrast to what not only Islam teaches, but the Quran says. So we have too many bad experiences too
many people who are victims of abuse, physical, spiritual, emotional and otherwise. So it's only
natural for people to look at the number of victims and think that this practice is out of
		

			shape. What do you think? If historian The only the bad things get the news, and bad news becomes
the news. There are not as numerous examples of people are enjoying their life and family as
together, they're really enjoying the fruits of the polygyny, if it can be practiced, in accordance
with the teachings of Muhammad, peace be upon him and instructions given by Allah subhanaw taala he
can be blessings, we see that this is something that is, you know, all the messengers of God, you
know, they practices it's it's clearly outlined in the Bible, we see that throughout history, it was
something that was that was that was common. We see that today, that when a man has multiple
		

			mistresses, when he's fooling around, like many of these politicians, not caring or loving for these
women just using and abusing, you know, this seems, you know, to be normal, it's not something to
look down upon. But when someone wants to go ahead and care for these women, and many, you know, a
lot of times what's the solution there? There's so many more women than men out there. And many you
know, who can't get married or, you know, many have either lost their husbands or whatnot. What's
the solution? You know, what do you do? First of all, we need some education both among Muslims and
Muslims with in their context with not polygyny is only one form of marriage and the Quran as well.
		

			We can clearly understand is positioning us for monogamy.
		

			polygyny is practice and it's practice according to the conditions that are outlined in the Quran.
We see blessings in those relationships, we see blessings we see lives lived, we see children
living, vibrant and environment loving households. The problem is that even though some people talk
about trying to assist those who would not have marriage available to them any other way too often
they're using and abusing is very important in our society and across the Muslim world, that the
forms of marriage that take place are ones in which women have agency women are making a choice,
that they are freely entering the types of union that they are that the masjids that perform
		

			ceremonies where the monogamous or polygynous provide the resources, the emotional and psychological
care to strengthen marriages, whatever the form in the United States, we know that marriage is in
divorce 50% of the time, right? So it Islamic communities like other communities, we really need to
have some strong education and guidance, we need to help guide individuals into happy and healthy
homes and not just get married because they have this the opportunity. So I'm saying that in the
book polygyny what it means when African American Muslim women share their husband is advocating the
decriminalization of polygyny and encouraging masjids to spend more time and more resources more
		

			care on fostering an environment where healthy marriages continue to shake. What have you noticed we
when we talk to some of the moms are saying a lot of women are upset? You know, the women are coming
forward and saying Why aren't you advocating on our behalf many can't get married. And you know,
they've closed this door What have you have you seen some of this happening? I have seen a couple of
experiences in this regard. But however, we have found that where the sisters come forward with this
kind of message, not only the husbands are encouraged, but also the moms they should also discuss
this with Imams and amount that will be open to discuss these things in their sermons, or in their
		

			own hobby roles. This need to be a discussion among the youth as well have seen that most of us have
discussions. And if this is answered, we can easily introduce the blessings of the polygyny in the
Muslim environment where many things can be avoided by having practice mistakes, I would strongly
recommend that if need to be talked about like sensory scanning, I would like to see more and more
sisters come forward and talk about it. The benefit of it for others to see the goodness in it. And
we'll conclude with one more question. Tell us sister professor, what do you usually say when you
I'm sure you deal with a lot of emotion, emotional people who when you bring this up, you know you
		

			get a lot of backlash. You get a lot of women that will come at you emotionally and how do you
tackle it give us a true life story. And, you know, how do you deal with it?
		

			The motion ality comes out of hurt and pain and fear. And what we notice in polygynous marriages,
the challenges to polygynous marriages are also evident in the challenges of monogamous marriages,
right. So that's why I'm advocating for stronger resources for just what it means to be married. But
many of us don't know what it means to live a healthy halau single life and preparing ourselves for
me. And those individuals who are acting as our guardians, as I said, are wildly so to speak. They
need to be educated to they need to know what it means to look out for the best interests of the
women involved. And then the women have to appreciate that allows to kind of adopt is the best nor
		

			and that we don't have to set up and we don't have to take for less just to enter into the status of
marriage. What's your book called and where people figured out is polygyny what it means when
African American Muslim women's
		

			when African American Muslim women share their husbands, it is published by University Press of
Florida is on Amazon. And right now it's in paperback for $15 or less. Last one last one. Have you
heard another sensible, sensible solution to the growing crisis that has anyone presented you with
something to solve? The problem is there are obviously more Have you heard it heard a solution.
Besides this one, where communities
		

			are able to bring men and women together and give them healthy options of living allow life
regardless of their status. We see more healthy families. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming.
		

			Sir closing comments and I would like to see that what you're doing is the one of the best thing
that we can do in this regard. polygyny is a hush hush issue for all this time. And that's the
reason that people have a fear fear of unknown. I would like for it to be discussed and we can talk
about more openly. And the more we talk about it and more examples come into this life, people would
be able to handle this a more appropriate. Last but not the least, the more we talk about this among
ourselves, I would like the sisters to take lead. And when anybody desiring to enter into this
relationship, they need to be open nothing of this thing to be done in secrecy. The minute you do in
		

			secrecy that you yourself is not confident that will make you unfit to enter this contract to begin
with. And when people exercise these things in secrecy, it can literally open the door for some
abuse and negligence towards the right that Islam demands from husbands and wives towards each
other. So it must be discussed openly is what we've done in community and community should come to
know of this so they can keep an eye and it's a very healthy approach to polygyny, in my opinion.
Thank you guys very much. Thank you, Professor Mr. Moosa. So we're gonna close it up. Also, you have
your wife is here and you'd like to add to this? Yes. Alhamdulillah I'm really blessed in this
		

			regard that Allah subhanaw taala has blessed us with the understanding within I ever practice that
or not the fact that she understand the rights of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And her writes, thank she
supports and strongly stand by it, is the fact that we understand that we many Muslims need to
understand what are the limitations are I see my wife, she understands her own limitations, she
understands the rights that Allah has enjoined upon the husband, and she stands with it. And she
said that what Allah has made it permissible for u haul microscopists and she sees that in two ways
one, if you find a sister who you can work with and relate and work together to advance the cause of
		

			disdain, she said it's an extra support that we'll have and plus having the progeny through this
also increasing the omap seven or seven muscle loss and she seems to be very passionate when it
comes to that she said that even when you have more skills, I would be able to help them and support
them in Charlotte and I grow islamically strong and at times when we talk about this even my
daughter takes part in she said that I will certainly be enjoying having extra brothers and sisters
and extra
		

			member in the family as well as the What advice do you give for people wanting to extend their
family make a bigger family and many of the sisters who are having a very hard time accepting this
		

			it is like It is him Don't
		

			make it hard for any man.
		

			Why you will have to make it difficult for him
		

			because we have to access no proof Allah subhanaw taala
		

			to guide that man for eternity inshallah, we can do that between both of them. And for me, I see
like it's another one coming without for the perfect metal panels
		

			and to make more money and grow and grow
		

			for better inshallah. Thank you so much.