Calisha Bennett – Being true to You

Calisha Bennett
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The speakers stress the importance of authentic living and connecting oneself to one's true self in order to achieve success. They use the example of The Good Doctor to illustrate the need for parents to be true to oneself and others, and emphasize the importance of finding a path to happiness and being responsible for it. The speakers emphasize the need for parents to be true to oneself and others, as well as finding a healthy parenting relationship.

AI: Summary ©

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			Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakato
Welcome back. This is our second session for the conference the Back to the Future online
conference. And super excited to in traduce you to Felicia Bennett. Although maybe a lot of you
already know her. She's out there talking everywhere with everyone these days, Mashallah. In fact,
she's got two conferences on today at once. So she's zipping between our Zoom Room and other
people's zoom rooms, delivering her message. She's the founder of developing diamonds doing a lot of
work in helping Muslim women and youth really connect with their identity, because we seem to have
		
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			lost our identity a little bit. And that's pretty much what the topic is about today. Isn't it
Felicia being true to you?
		
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			Yeah, that's right. So I'm on a camera. And so like Katherine
		
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			says, Great to have you here. I'm going to turn off my camera and my mic and leave the show to use
Anita screen squeezed screen screen share your screen. I think I've been talking too much today
already.
		
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			And go for it.
		
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			Awesome. Let's do this. Bismillah
		
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			Okay, so it's got host disabled participants screen sharing. So Can that be undone?
		
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			There we go. Thank you.
		
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			I'll be laying in a shape on a regime Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi wa Salatu was Salam ala
Rasulillah sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam My bad. Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. To my
dearest beautiful sisters. It's beautiful to be here is the cliche Bennett and inshallah we'll be
talking about the topic of being true to you. So how to uncover your authenticity or true identity
and to just listen to your heart and be true to yourself and what it is that you want, out of this
very short life that we have been blessed with from Allah subhanaw taala. So having a look at our
journey today, Inshallah, we're going to have a look at how we can lose ourselves, and our sense of
		
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			identity and confidence in life, we're going to look at how I personally held back from fulfilling
my potential for quite a number of years, Pamela, I'll also share how I overcame various obstacles
that you might resonate with as well. How things have changed for me now, since my journey has
evolved, and how they can insha Allah change for you, because that's why we're here we're here for
you to be able to learn some strategies or to develop some types of understanding which can help and
equip you to really be true to yourself in your life in sha Allah, and then we'll give some options
for the way forward. So are you guys ready to go? Let's get everyone involved and interacting. Are
		
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			you guys ready? For us to start?
		
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			It's happened here. Second?
		
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			Yes. All right.
		
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			So let me ask you, have you ever felt low in confidence in your abilities and your pursuits? A bit
apprehensive, unsure of yourself? Have you ever felt confused about your true self, your worth? Your
identity? Who it is you are? Have you felt like you've got so much untapped potential in life that
you've got so much within you that you want to give and you want to express and you're just feeling
stuck? You don't know? How do you feel weighed down by the negativity, or the criticisms or the
commentary of those around you? Or even the assumed opinions of those around you? Do you feel like
you're maybe held back or pulled back by others? Who,
		
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			who perhaps, you know, make you feel insecure or make you feel unsure of yourself? Do you feel
frustrated about not doing more about not being more or about not achieving more in your life? If
you feel any of these things, then you're not alone. A lot of people experienced this and
personally, this is something that I experienced as well.
		
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			So I found that in life there were many obstacles in my way that I perceived to be in my way, I felt
like they were challenges they were walls up around me that there were hurdles I constantly had to
jump, that there were things obstructing the path, preventing me from being my true self from
fulfilling my truest potential from expressing and understanding deeply what
		
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			My identity was, and you know, sometimes it was, you know, because of certain people that I had
around me in my life. Sometimes it might have been because of the things happening within our
family. Sometimes it was just from things happening around me with my friends. And in my social
circles. At times, I felt like it was the because of the individuals that I worked with, or that it
was part of the community work that I was involved in that there were hurdles to jump in boundaries
and walls around me. You know, sometimes I was worried about public perception, if I did this. And
if I did that, what would others think of me? Or would that be
		
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			criticized? Or would that be something that people wouldn't approve of. So all I always had these
things running in my mind, where I had a part of me that I wanted to express. But I felt like there
were certain things in the way preventing that hurdles, walls boundaries. And because of that, I was
unable to truly progress in life. Because these obstacles that I perceived in front of me, they
weren't things that I was in control of, because it was because of the people because of family
stuff going on, or because of community work in organizations. So I had a lot of this perceived
limitation in front of me. But to me, at the time, it was real. These walls, these barriers, these
		
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			boundaries, these hurdles were very real. And I felt stuck, I felt like I couldn't get past them
that I couldn't really, you know, fulfill my greatest potential.
		
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			So let me ask you, do you think that this is how we're meant to live, are we meant to live, you
know, feeling stuck and feeling like we're not, you know, able to express our truest self. It's
explained that people often are inauthentic and not living their true lives, because they believe
it's what others want, what others want to see. And unfortunately, instead of showing up as
yourself, you show up as the person that you think everyone else will like. So what I realized was
that I was living a life, always checking in to make sure and always worried that everyone around
me, everything around me, the organization's around me, the community around me, would be happy with
		
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			what I was doing. So I wasn't able to be my true self, I wasn't able to even listen, or acknowledge
or validate my true self, because I was living with a need for external validation. So those walls
that I had up around me, was because of that need for external validation.
		
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			So when we look at the importance of being our true self, like, is it important to ask yourself, is
it important to be your true self? Or can we just live from bouncing off the expectations of those
around us, and there's a lot of research that's been done about the benefits of authenticity and
living authentically, and operating from your own sense of identity, personal values, morals and
beliefs. And, you know, when we have a look at some of the, the research and the articles that are
out there, according to bore Miss Meister, self concept, so what you think of yourself is the
individual's belief about him or herself, including the attributes of that person, and, and who and
		
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			what the self is. So your self concept is what you think about yourself. And it's, you know, that's,
you know, defining it. But how important is that Aristotle suggested that the good life includes
both happiness and engagement, where happiness is defined as an activity of authentically expressing
one's Excellences, or virtues. So where you can live excellently, you are expressing your greatest
potential. And until we do that, it's very difficult to be happy. But the activity of expressing
one's true self and making deliberate choices and taking responsibility for those choices, which we
know is authenticity. It gives a sense of well being and engagement in life when you know you're
		
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			living a life operating from you and yourself, and what you think about these choices and these
decisions and the path ahead, this is when you are going to be the most happy. And in my situation,
I was kind of more worried about the external validation, that is what I'm doing okay to XYZ. And
because of that, I would constantly kind of, you know, not experience the same amount of fulfillment
that if I had made the decisions myself and was living authentically, according to my own decisions
and values, I would have been a whole lot more happy.
		
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			So the authentic person is committed to making their life their own on being focused, coherent. And
sorry, it's cut that little
		
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			paid off, and fully engaged and fully engaged. So when you're authentic, you're committed to making
your life your own. You're focused on your life, you're coherent, and you're fully engaged, like you
have your life by the reins. And you know my circumstance, I didn't have it by the reins, right, I
had everyone else pulling the cart, and dependent on everyone else. So living authentically involves
making deliberate choices to be true to oneself, and then taking responsibility for one's actions.
Perhaps in my case, I was scared about taking responsibility for my actions, it was easier to depend
on the opinions and perspectives of others in making my decisions, because maybe I just thought, you
		
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			know what, if I do the wrong thing, or if it ends up being the wrong decision, I can say, well, they
told me to, I can hold others responsible for the outcomes of my decisions and actions.
		
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			In one study, researchers found that people who scored higher on a measure of authentic living
reported greater happiness, more positive emotions and higher self esteem than people who reported
being less authentic, more authentic people also reported having better relationships with others
and more personal growth. So being your true self living, according to what it is that you want to
do achieve the values you want to uphold the lifestyle that you want to carry, you will be as
researchers showing more happy more positive, you have high self esteem, better relationships, and
more personal growth. So looking at that, what more could we want, then that's fun a lot.
		
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			So, research participants felt fulfilled and connected to others in their personal lives. And these
people had something in common, they were able to be true to themselves. And as a result of
authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be, in order to be who
they were. So there's an interesting point here about what you think you should be or who you think
you should be. And kind of stepping away from the thinking and saying, let me be who I am. Let me
give myself permission to just be me, rather than the, the expected you that you might be, you know,
kind of perceiving of yourself. Brene Brown says in order for connection to happen, we have to allow
		
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			ourselves to be seen, really singing. So when it comes to relationships, in particular, for us to be
deeply connected in our relationships, we have to be able to be bravely authentic, bravely open and
showing who we truly are. And then we can have those amazing connections in life.
		
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			In the Islamic context, when it comes to the importance of being true to yourself, it's closely
tied, you know, a lot of the companions and scholars of the past they would mention this famous
saying men are often EFSA who forgot the Alpha robber who, whoever whosoever knows himself knows his
Lord. So when you know yourself, and you're being true to yourself, and you're listening to
yourself, this actually opens up and expands the ability for us to connect with Allah subhanaw
taala. When you are connected to yourself, and you know who you are, you're being true to you, that
is actually going to improve your sense of faith, your sense of connection with Allah subhanaw
		
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			taala. Because all of a sudden, you're like, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of me. What
matters is what Allah subhanaw taala thinks of me and you're able to establish a much deeper
connection. And this beautiful narration of the companion certainly been Abdullah. He says, if one
knows the enemy, one knows his Lord, if one knows himself, one knows his status with his Lord. If
one knows his mind, then one knows his state between him and his Lord. If one knows sacred
knowledge, one knows his journey. If one knows the world, one knows the hereafter.
		
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			You could take so much from that quotes point alone, and there's so much that we could reflect upon,
but again, just tie into knowing yourself being deeply connected to yourself, deeply connected to
your status with your Creator, your intentions with your Creator, your life journey for your
Creator, the comparison of this world to the afterlife, for the sake of the Creator. So Sahil was
asked about the saying, of whoever knows himself knows his Lord and Sahan said, Whoever defines
himself for the sake of his Lord, his Lord defines him for the sake of himself. So when you define
yourself Who is it that Allah subhanaw taala wants me to be? Who am I meant to be for Allah? When we
		
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			can ask ourselves these questions and uncover and discover the answers to those questions and live
according to that clarity and sincerity of being true to yourself and connecting that to being true
to Allah subhanaw taala operating
		
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			you know, within
		
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			that intimate bond between you and your Creator and keeping the opinions and thoughts and the
judgments and the criticisms and the, you know the viewpoints of others, separate to your existence
separate to your moral compass separate to your decision making. This is when we can establish that
true sincerity and an amazing bond with Allah subhanaw taala. When we look at what the Prophet
salallahu Alaihe Salam tells us about being true to ourselves, he said strive for that which will
benefit you. Seek the help of Allah and do not feel helpless if anything befalls you do not say if
I'd only done such and such rather say God Allahu wa Masha Allah, Allah has decreed whatever He
		
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			wills and whatever He wills he does. Because when you say if it opens the door to the deeds of shape
on so in life being true to yourself, the prophets Allah, Allah Azza is commanding us in this
hadith. Strive for that which will benefit you live, strive, work have goals and ambitions that will
benefit you you can be selfish you can operate from a place of what is it that I want to to build in
my life? What is it that I want to establish in my life? What is it that I want to achieve in my
life? Who is it that I want to be in my life? So we're commanded by the Prophet salallahu Alaihe
Salam in this hadith strive for that which will benefit you live a life benefiting yourself? When
		
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			you're on that path. Seek help from who the people ask advice from people ask advice from, you know,
the authorities, it says seek the help of Allah, as you go and seek out that which will benefit you
in your life, seek the help of a lantern to Allah subhanaw taala and do not feel helpless, you are
never helpless. And when I look back at my experience, you know, the way that I felt I did, I felt
helpless. I felt like I was always in need. I felt like I didn't have true inner strength. I was
always worried, always anxious, always apprehensive, always doubting myself always wanting to be
confident, but not truly confident. Why because I was seeking the external instead of trusting my
		
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			internal and tying that internal to Allah subhanaw taala.
		
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			So I'm just gonna apologize because I've I was sick a few days ago, and I haven't fully recovered
yet. Hamdulillah. So I'm a little bit off, so apologies.
		
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			So the Prophet salallahu Salam says that none of you truly believe until he loves for his brother,
what he loves for himself. In Islamic context, we learn that we're supposed to be selfless and want
others to live amazing lives and have beautiful peace and strong faith and, you know, beautiful
families and amazing success, like we're taught that we should want that for others to be selfless.
But look at the other part of this headline, yes, we take that meaning from this hadith. But the
second part says what he loves for himself, which means what it means you are allowed to love to
have that beautiful life for yourself to, you're allowed to one amazing success for your life to
		
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			you're allowed to want to fulfill your potential, and set massive goals and pursue those goals and
discover, you know amazing things about yourself and others in the world and have amazing
connections, amazing achievements, you're allowed to have that two, permission granted, and we often
overlook that. And rather look to the other because of handler Dean does have a tradition of serving
the other being of service to others. But we must remember that we have to give ourselves permission
to look after ourselves to and to be deeply connected to operating from our own depths of sincerity
and ambition as well.
		
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			The Holy Quran describes a man who was unjust to himself, and he entered his garden while he was
unjust to himself. So last month, Allah mentioned that we as human beings, we can be unjust to
ourselves. And we do need to ask question and regularly ask ourselves, Am I being fair in what I am
preventing myself from doing? Am I being fair on myself by saying no, no collection and give you
permission to do that? No, you're not good enough to do that. No, you don't have what it takes to do
that. No, you're not this you're not that all these Not, not not and all those boundaries and
hurdles coming up? No, they won't like it if you knew that they will think this about you. They they
		
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			they all those boundaries, hurdles walls coming up in front of you, being created by you. But Allah
Subhana Allah says in this idea that we can fall into being unjust to ourselves, and let's ask
ourselves, do we say things to ourselves which are unjust, which are unfair, which are belittling,
or which are even oppressive? Yes, we have a lot of external oppression within our own world, but we
truly do at times can we can fall into oppressing ourselves. By not fulfilling this important
mission that we have in life by not fulfilling our potential. We are holding ourselves back from
fulfilling the mission for which Allah wants Allah created us on this
		
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			Remember Allah Subhan Allah Allah says, inshallah Khartoum, as Eden Nakhon, if you give thanks, I'll
give you more. If we are grateful, saying I am Hamdulillah, talented Alhamdulillah I am amazing
Alhamdulillah I do have what it takes, and Hamdulillah I can do and fulfill this goal or this idea
or this, this, you know, this way that I want to live or this character trait that I want to build
upon within myself, if we can be grateful to Allah subhanaw taala and say, Yes, I can do this,
Allah, Allah will increase us in that he will give us more.
		
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			Allah Subhana Allah, and we know this, this one, so Well, we hear and see it everywhere. Allah
doesn't change the condition in which people are in until they change that which is within
themselves. So for me taking back responsibility and saying I need to change what's going on within
me if I want to improve my condition. So what happened to me was, I hit a time where I really did
hit a massive low, and I couldn't pinpoint what was wrong or what was up with me. Externally,
outwardly, I was still doing amazing things. I knew I was achieving things, I knew I was part of
really important work, I knew that I was making a difference. But I hit a low because I knew that I
		
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			had kept myself, I knew that I had reached the limit of my permission, granting of how much
permission I granted myself in terms of fulfilling my potential, and those hurdles, and those walls
and those thoughts about the external or those limiting beliefs that I had about myself had kind of
caged me in, and no one wants to be caged in. It's unnatural, right? So I had caged myself in and
feeling low and feeling anxious and feeling depressed when I'd never experienced that before. And
when I really thought about it, I realized that I had stopped growing.
		
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			And why had I stopped growing, I had to, at first I went through blaming externally, it's everyone
else's fault that I'm not growing, because everyone else has expectations and limitations around me,
but had to do some real soul searching. And I discovered that I had boxed myself in that I had caged
myself that I was oppressing myself. I had, I had stopped myself from growing.
		
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			And, you know, it was unfortunate that I was blaming my outside conditions and environment. But
until I understood that it was coming from me and my thinking, and my thoughts were creating these
feelings of frustration, these feelings of sadness, these feelings of anxiety, these feelings of
turmoil. It's panela, because of what was going on in my head and in my thought processes. So there
I was, I felt stuck. I felt trapped, I felt limited. I felt like I wasn't growing. And I've never
felt like that before. Because I've always tried to stay to sit to a certain extent on a conveyor
belt. And now is that a point where my greater growth, my greater potential lay on the other side of
		
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			getting past certain boundaries, getting past certain limitations that I put on myself getting past
certain past wounds, emotional wounds that I carry. So I knew that I had to go through some kind of
healing process or some kind of awakening process, and it's upon Allah, I actually didn't know where
to go, I didn't know where to find it. I just started doing little personal development things. And
		
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			and yeah, it will tell you a little bit more about that journey. It's been a lot. So what were the
challenges and obstacles that were going on in my head? I had issues with trusting myself and
trusting like my decisions that yes, you know, you can do it. So I would always think like, no, I
need people backing me like I need, you know, I need people to kind of reassure me that yes, you can
do this.
		
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			I struggled with giving myself permission. So I would try to make excuses in my mind of why I
shouldn't do things or why I couldn't do things. So I wouldn't give myself permission. And again,
what's running through my head, that person when I asked them for their opinion, and maybe shut it
down or another person, those people don't help me with what I want to do. So I'm on my own. So
again, the struggle with what I thought externally, about others views and perceptions on things
then resulted in me not giving myself permission. I struggled with feeling whole and capable. So
I've always struggled in my life prior to this with self esteem. Growing up, I didn't have very good
		
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			self esteem.
		
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			I didn't really feel a hope for a lot of my life that that that concept of self love and believing
in yourself. Didn't feel fully capable. So we'd be trying my best but still feeling inadequate. A
lot of people around me would have had no idea that this was what was going on underneath because
externally it looked like oh mashallah she's doing this. She's doing that, you know, an outward
success.
		
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			But underneath, I just knew I wasn't really fulfilling my greater potential. I was also facing
criticisms, people who would I'd be at a gathering, people would kind of pull me over to a corner,
and then pretty much like admonish me and tell me off for just see, really, when I reflect on it,
like some silly things that I got criticized for. But the issue with me was, I would take the
criticisms really personally, like, I would take the criticisms, then it would just break me like,
I'd act tough in that moment, I wouldn't like fight or defend myself or like, okay, listening, and
then I'd go home and have a big cry. And then what that would do, it would then later, again, the
		
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			weight of now, you're not holding capable, you don't give yourself permission, you can't trust
yourself. So criticisms really used to hit me really hard on a lot. And I would regress after
progress, I would proceed in something and I put myself up, I'm going to do this and make something
happen. And then what would happen is I would regress, I would like undo the progress that I'd made,
because I would fall into not trusting myself, not feeling capable. So I would kind of yo yoing back
and forth between stepping towards fulfilling, fulfilling my greater potential, and then pulling
back again.
		
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			And obviously, overall, just not fulfilling my potential, and not giving myself permission to
fulfill my potential. So and again, I'll just stay in this cycle of not feeling challenged, not
feeling growth, not feeling fulfilled. And as we know, it's one of the human needs, growth is a
human need, we need to feel like we growing, or it takes us to, you know, a sense of despondency, we
feel quite low when we aren't growing.
		
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			So what happened? How did I overcome the obstacles, all those yucky kind of traps and bars and
boundaries and hurdles that I put around myself? What happened? How did I overcome?
		
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			Obviously, I didn't now I'll tell you some of the cookie cutter things that I that I did and
implemented, which helped hamdulillah like they do help these these things. So I changed my
environment, you know, from not being around certain people or certain gatherings or at certain
places, to even moving states on a lot, just getting out of the total environment, like a full fresh
start. I would try to avoid toxic people as well. If I felt like people would often have a lot of
negative things to say, or critical things to say, not even about me, but just about other things, I
would try to stay away from that. Only because it would dampen my, my energy, working on myself
		
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			through reflection and learning. So you know, obviously personal development, learning reading
books, watching talks, doing online programs, so started working on myself that that helped a little
as well. I tried to increase my self awareness. So to really try to be in tune with what's going on
within me and how am I feeling and actually challenging and questioning? Like, why am I feeling that
way? And I was always trying to figure out where's the feeling coming from? I'd always you know, if
I've felt something I just be like, where's this feeling coming from? Like, where does it stem from?
And I'd hit all these again, like and hit dead ends because I wouldn't understand why am I feeling
		
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			this way? I'm trying to find reasons external to me for why I'm feeling anxious or I'm feeling
trapped, or I'm feeling limited, why I feel like I don't trust myself why I feel like I can't do
something. So always kind of like trying to become more aware, I can feeling this way Why am I
feeling this way.
		
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			And I started working on being my authentic self and started to say, Okay, now you have to give
yourself permission, you can do this. So challenging myself talk, again, that self talk was able to
change because I took myself out of certain environments. So that did really did help. But overall,
what really helped me Subhanallah in overcoming those obstacles in such a pure, clear and easy way
was I discovered the understanding of the Inside Out paradigm through Sister Catherine Jones through
the Back to the Future mentoring academies quite a lot. And it changed me and changed my life and
change the experience of my life in ways that I've never been able to discover. Through my Islamic
		
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			learning journey through my reading heaps of personal development books over the years doing a lot
of personal development programs, workshops, having different mentors, I was never able to really
understand why I felt certain ways about certain things. And that was until I discovered the Inside
Out paradigms panela. And I'm so grateful for it because it actually came at a time where as I
explained to you had gone through this low point that I'd never experienced in my life and I was
like, what are the answers? How did I get here? Why do I feel this way? And once I could point out
certain reasons is it
		
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			sternal reasons, it wasn't really taking me into myself to understanding myself, and how I was
responsible for the experience of my life, it was always about external responsibilities, my
upbringing, the people around me, where I lived, you know, what opportunities weren't there for me
who wasn't supporting me all those sorts of things. So I was never given full responsibility, or
never aware that I was the one who was fully and truly responsible for my experience of life. So
what were the lessons that I learned in the process or the proof through developing the
understanding of the incident paradigm, so I spent a year, it's nearly two years now, but in the
		
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			initial stages a year, really delving into developing my understanding of the Inside Out paradigm.
And what I discovered was that my feelings are derived from my thoughts all the time, and just that
light bulb moment to acknowledge that when I kept asking, Why do I feel this way, why do I feel this
way to discover that the feeling is coming from what I'm thinking, and if I just, you know, adjust
my thinking or checking or challenge my thinking that the feelings would go away. And over time, as
I developed my understanding of it, and was able to to gradually have those unnecessary thoughts, or
those false thoughts fall away, or those limiting thoughts as they fell away, upon a lie, I
		
00:31:32 --> 00:31:44
			experienced like, a real beautiful sense of wellbeing again, I started to feel well, I started to
feel safe and stable, I started to feel more confident, I started to
		
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			just what I felt was really coming back to my true self, which was a beautiful state of, of peace
and acceptance quite a lot. So I also learnt that I'm responsible for my thoughts, feelings and
actions all the time, no one else is ever responsible for what I'm thinking feeling or what I choose
to do. And just that was super empowering, actually. Because sometimes we think that, no, the
solutions or the answers are easier when we blame that others prevented me others were critical of
me, others shut me down. Others didn't help us support me, that's actually not empowering to blame
others, it's more empowering to say, Hang on, it's all on me. And when it is all on you, you can
		
00:32:31 --> 00:33:10
			become your own hero, because why would you not be there for you? Why would you not have your own
back? So anytime you know that I would then see the hurdles, or the walls or the, you know, the
limiting things in front of me will kind of creep up again, I'll say, Hang on, hang on, who's in
charge here? And I was able to say I'm in charge. I'm in charge. These are my thoughts. These are my
feelings. These are my actions. And let me make this decision. How do I want to feel in this moment?
What do I want to focus focus on in this moment? What do I want to believe in this moment? And it
was just amazing. Slowly snipping those ties to external validation and reassurance needs that I had
		
00:33:10 --> 00:33:47
			snipping those away, being able to just be my whole self and trust my health. So what an experience
Connellan it wasn't an overnight thing, right? It was a gradually, so just be able to live life and
go hang on that feeling. I used to feel it's not there anymore. That worry I used to have, it's not
there anymore. That anxiety I used to have is not there anymore. That self doubt I used to dwell in
isn't there anymore. It was just amazing. So to know that no one is responsible for my life or
decisions but me and in Islam, this is what it is. We are only accountable for ourselves. So all of
the blame worthy thoughts and language and feelings fell away.
		
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			To be able to realize that my perspective, and Allah's pleasure with me is what matters above anyone
else's. This was really beautiful as well. This helps us as Muslims to establish a class, a high
level of sincerity, when I realized that doesn't matter what anyone thinks. It's what I think about
me and what I have to live with. And if Allah subhanaw taala is pleased with me, that that I have to
live within this life and that's what matters above anyone else's. That's what comes first. Me and
Allah, again, coming back to knowing yourself, knowing your Lord, to know that in life's journey and
in the journey of the asker me and Allah, me and Allah and being able to be constantly like reminded
		
00:34:32 --> 00:34:59
			of that me and Hola. Hola. I'm about to do this good choice, bad choice. You check in with yourself
and Bismillah you make the decision. So much more clear cut than the messy entanglements of hurdles
and opinions and perspectives and worrying Subhanallah just to be so free from that has been
amazing. And also the fact that my potential is as much as I allow myself to fulfill, which in fact,
Pamela is unlimited outputs.
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:36
			Tension is unlimited. So I used to feel the feeling blocked and feeling closing I'm not fulfilling
my potential, or I'm not allowed to fulfill my potential I'm not able to fulfill fulfill my attempt
potential. I don't carry that anymore spot on. Now I understand that my potential is and will be
whatever I decide to pursue whatever I decide to grow in, whatever I decide to create whatever I
decide to stand for, or represent or speak about, or take action in. It's up to me. And I'm just
checking in with myself all the time between me and Allah subhanaw taala
		
00:35:38 --> 00:36:04
			so what about you, my dear sister, what about you? What do you want? What do you want for yourself?
What do you see an envision for yourself? What potential Do you know you have inside within you? How
could things change for you know, as you said, from my story, like things have changed drastically,
from being a victim of life to now it's like Bismillah we going who's on the train? Let's go
		
00:36:05 --> 00:36:22
			you know, and I was so fragile and it wasn't that long ago. It's only been a few years. And the
Inside Out paradigm understandings upon Allah has just changed changed me, changed my life changed
my relationships change my perspective, changed my confidence. It's just rethought reformatted me.
		
00:36:24 --> 00:37:06
			So I want you to ask yourself time to be true to you try time to be selfish time to be what about
me, myself and I because you are allowed to Allah to Allah grants you permission he says in the
Quran, who and for sarcoma, nickel Naira, save yourself and your family from the fire. So who does
he tell to save first yourself, save yourself first. love for your brother, what you love for
yourself, love yourself first. Prophet sallallahu sallam said, Seek out that which benefits you what
will benefit you in this life. And the next one is Sister, what do you want for yourself? What is
your greater potential? How can things change for you, if you decide to step forward, if you decide
		
00:37:06 --> 00:37:13
			to make that decision to really be and live consciously as a Muslim, rather than on autopilot?
		
00:37:14 --> 00:37:23
			Imagine yourself living to your fullest potential. A lot of us are like I can't even imagine I don't
go there. We don't go there. We don't dream big. No, we can't like that's dangerous.
		
00:37:24 --> 00:38:07
			But finally, we need to start imagining and envisioning ourselves living to our fullest potential.
This life is so short. And we know that this dunya is the testing place. If we're not living to our
fullest potential, then we're not fulfilling the purpose for why we're here. We're not here to just
be on idle. We're not here to just be a car on idle, just you know, kind of like maybe rolling
forward every now and then gently weren't meant to move forward. We're meant to grow we're meant to
drive the this earth's panela we had the the healer for on Earth. We are the vice Gerrans, the
caretakers. Were supposed to be the leaders, men, women, whatever our ages, believers should be
		
00:38:07 --> 00:38:46
			calling to Allah subhanaw taala and being amazing examples on this earth and saying to everyone come
with us on this path to pleasing Allah subhanaw taala to living a life of purpose to fulfilling our
potential. Why should we sit back and hide in the shadows. This is not why we're here. This is not
wireless, one to other created us to sit back in the shadows, pray our five daily prayers and just
you know, be quiet, we're supposed to call to something greater. We're supposed to live at a high
level of excellence. Why? Because we have the most excellent roadmap for that we have the Quran and
the Sunnah. So we're supposed to live according to that, which is the model for the highest life of
		
00:38:46 --> 00:39:31
			excellence. So imagine yourself this sister living to your fullest potential. I found this beautiful
quote by Stacey charter. She said, don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth.
Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself, no one else will be
able to make that happen. Accept who you are completely, the good and the bad. And make changes as
you see fear. Not because you think someone else wants you to be different. So that really ties into
being true to you living truly and authentically as yourself, fulfilling your greatest potential
giving yourself permission to be who you truly are and want to be celebrating that inshallah
		
00:39:32 --> 00:40:00
			so what are the things like for me now? How's life for me apart from this flu hamdulillah I'm on the
road and definitely able to implement fearless confidence, which was something that was important to
me like I knew what confidence was, I knew that I could sometimes be confident, but I would still
carry fear. Now I want to be fearlessly confident, where I don't carry fear and apprehension and
self doubt and negative talks about my
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:41
			So, I want to actively do what I'm scared of, in order to step into and towards, oh, that's a bit.
Oh, that's a bit scary, that's new or that's a bit challenging, by now saying that you're going to
do it, the more scared I feel about something, the more I'm like, well, you're gonna do that because
you're not allowed. And it colletion and give you permission to feel unnecessary fear. You know? So,
I tried to step into having fearless confidence now. Now, I don't give myself excuses. You know, I
don't, you know, bring up things that kind of hold me back that I know. And I call myself out on my
own BS, basically, you know, we can make excuses. Oh, but you're this but all these butts, butts
		
00:40:41 --> 00:40:57
			butts. Now I just, I just don't go there. And I used to go there all the time. Now, I just don't go
there. It's just gone. Like there's little buts and ifs and what all those things have fun a lot
just fallen away. It really is miraculous. I can't even explain how
		
00:40:58 --> 00:41:41
			resilience so much greater resilience. Now I can like bounce back, I used to have, you know, dips in
moods or things would happen. And I'd be pretty bummed about it for a while. But now, even in the
moment, while something really crazy is happening around me. Or you know, I'm dealing with something
or mediating something, I have a whole lot more emotional resilience, or don't get beaten down and
broken down like I used to, I bounce back so much better, so much faster. And a lot of the time I
don't even fall like spoiler like I used to. Before, I used to be like a bumper car Bump, bump
bounce everyone's fault for my moods, or how I've, you know, how I feeling or feeling stressed or
		
00:41:41 --> 00:42:24
			low. It's because of this and because of that all external to me. But now spoiler like something
crazy can happen right in front of me. And I'm just calm in control, and not broken down by as such.
So again, the calm is a big one. And that's always been one of my biggest goals. And, you know,
especially as a mother, I would always say I want to be a really calm mother. And I spent a decade
over a decade trying to figure out how to achieve that calm, I read, I did the personal development,
I did the Islamic Development, and actually got worse, like I became more more of a frustrated mom
more of an overwhelming tense mom. But now it's finally Even my kids say they'll tell me that, like
		
00:42:24 --> 00:43:07
			you're so different now. And I absolutely attribute it to my developing my understanding of the
Inside Out paradigm that my feelings come from my thoughts all the time, that responsibility for
myself, that if I'm not calm, it's no one's fault. It's me who's creating that lack of calm. So now
I just actively choose calm, and you know, able to implement great resilience. So focus is a big one
now, when you your mind isn't clouded by everything going on around you and what others are saying
or doing able to really hone in and create what it is in your life that you want to create. So like
now my life is very, like I know exactly what I want. I know what my values are. And I know it's
		
00:43:07 --> 00:43:48
			time to go get that it's time to go do that. And it's time to work on this and just that amazing
focus rather than kind of being in a whirlwind freedom. It's part of life, it's so liberating.
Because we don't realize that our thoughts and feelings can become ways of self repression, feeling
trapped by the opinions of others, feeling trapped by my own, you know, false limitations that I
placed around myself. So being able to experience true freedom, like what is it that I choose today?
What is the quality of life that I choose to apply? It's, it's very freeing as Paula between me and
Allah, all of my decisions, it's so liberating hamdulillah and of course, hamdulillah and how things
		
00:43:48 --> 00:44:15
			have changed for me now I feel like I am fulfilling my potential. And I feel like I am excited about
the unknown of the future of what my potential is and what I might uncover. So every day I feel
excited about life. I feel like optimistic about the future. I feel hopeful. Because you know, as I
continue on this journey, I'm not weighed down by baggage, I'm not adding more baggage, it's just a
free moving process quite a lot.
		
00:44:17 --> 00:44:18
			And so much more.
		
00:44:20 --> 00:44:59
			Alright, so where to next for you, my dear sister. I really would encourage you to consider learning
more about the Inside Out paradigm as you can see, like I don't even have words to explain how it
has changed my life and changed me as a person. I'm just so super grateful for it and I feel like
everyone around the world, every human being should be blessed to know and have this knowledge. So
do consider learning more about the Inside Out paradigm through the back to the fitrah mentoring
Academy connects with me on socials or any of the other speakers and presenters find us on social
media. We pump out this message we provide this support constantly and
		
00:45:00 --> 00:45:38
			Um, through the different things that we've posted, put out there, feel free to book in a chat with
me as well if you feel like you want to talk and have a one on one and just see where you're at, and
if it's something that you might like to do in terms of working together, feel free to flick me an
email. And you can always inquire about my upcoming developing diamonds inner circle program, which
I'll be launching in the next few months. So it's about taking a group of ladies to work closely
with me throughout each month, where we continue through life and develop that emotional spiritual
resilience, as well as other Islamic mindset and life skills, and lots of personal development stuff
		
00:45:38 --> 00:46:18
			that I always love having the love but being able to be connected to me on an ongoing basis, and
that's coming out in the next few months inshallah. And of course, you'll benefit from any existing
content and courses available. I've got lots of free stuff online, a lot of talks that I've done,
and I have different courses that pre recorded that you can purchase and, and learn from as well.
But other than that, it's been amazing to be here with you guys, just for listening so attentively,
I can't wait to read what's going on in the comments and to hear your thoughts and feedback. And
again, apologies that I started off a bit slow, just the the fogginess of this beautiful head cold
		
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			hamdulillah
		
00:46:20 --> 00:46:28
			Yeah, so thank you everyone, just like labs panicle Lahoma we have the hispanica Lahoma we have Nika
I should have Allah Allah how you learn semester
		
00:46:33 --> 00:46:36
			my cat or well my Shala where do we begin
		
00:46:38 --> 00:47:24
			Beautiful job Felicia Masha Allah disciple affair. Kulish has link is actually in the chat. But you
can also find it later in the membership area, if you want to book in a session with her. We have a
question here about copies of slides. So I will talk to each of the speakers about that to see if
they're willing to share them. But we probably would only share them within the paid membership, we
wouldn't just hand them out to everybody. So if you are somebody who has purchased the the
recordings, then perhaps we may be able to see if they're willing to share their slides or not. But
that will be if they're interested. We've got one question here. It's not quite identity related.
		
00:47:24 --> 00:48:01
			But you might want to give it a go. Felicia says I do everything from family. I work full time. Now
that COVID here, how have you lost his job? So he's home since much I'm tired working full time and
doing housework, cooking, cleaning, sometimes, like I'm lost, I get frustrated, angry and scream at
my family and I need help. What would you say to that, Felicia? I would say I probably will used to
be like that, as well, you know, had moments or used to behave in that way. And I'm not proud of it.
And I used to hate that I would behave that way. Because I'd always told myself, I'll never be that
type of mother.
		
00:48:02 --> 00:48:32
			Because it's, you know, I saw examples of that in my journey growing up, and I told him, I don't
want to be like that. And then Subhan Allah, by default, we sometimes can become what we don't want
to be like. So you know, I'd say to the sister to really look into understanding where those
thoughts and behaviors are coming, you know, the behaviors are coming from the feeling, and the
feeling is coming from your thought processes. So to ask yourself, what is it that I'm thinking and
telling myself about my life or about my situation?
		
00:48:33 --> 00:49:10
			Am I blaming, that I'm, you know, tired or frustrated or overwhelmed by the demands of life. And
really, we all have so many demands policies, the Katherine's got a bunch of kids, I've got a bunch
of kids, and we have businesses, and we work and we volunteer, and we do speaking, we do a lot of
things. But we choose those things. And we never make anyone responsible for how busy we are, or how
much pressure we're under. We even invite pressure and overwhelmed like I used to get quite
overwhelmed. And now people they'll say to how are you doing this? How are you doing that? Don't you
feel overwhelmed, I'm like, not overwhelmed, because it's what I choose. And I just make sure that
		
00:49:10 --> 00:49:27
			I've managed life and show up in those little moments in those little minutes in between going from
task to task is this the life I choose? Is this the life that I'm, you know, consciously living and
it becomes sweet, you become grateful for every moment, even when they are pressure cooker moments.
		
00:49:28 --> 00:49:59
			But you know, sometimes it can become that because we're under a lot of demands, and we're not
getting enough time to be true to yourself. You're not giving yourself permission to learn something
that you really want to learn or to do something you really want to do or you're not doing some self
care time for yourself things that give you personal joy. Sometimes we can end up lashing out at
those who do have demands upon us. And maybe you're carrying some thoughts, you know, which could be
it's just a suggestion without you
		
00:50:00 --> 00:50:36
			No, it's kind of like blaming everyone else needs me and I'm doing everything for everyone else. And
then there's this, but what about me? And then we can become very cranky towards everyone else
because of that, that it comes back to again, like I said earlier in my talk being responsible, who
is responsible for your happiness? Only you are my sister. No one else is responsible for your
happiness. So if you need to find where does your happiness lie? Where do you derive your happiness
from, then it's definitely a journey I suggest you embark upon and get support through that journey,
get a coach or a mentor or join the Academy and learn how to
		
00:50:38 --> 00:50:39
			insha Allah.
		
00:50:40 --> 00:51:22
			So we've got another question, will you please elaborate a little more as to how you develop self
esteem? It's something I've been struggling with all the time despite reading and listening to the
lectures, I don't feel that change. Yeah, so looking at self esteem, no self esteem is like the
beliefs that you carry about yourself. So it's what you say to yourself. on autopilot. Often it's on
autopilot, right your self esteem, some of us Hamdi la raised beautifully parents built that self
esteem that didn't damage that self esteem because by our fitrah we are born naturally to love and
appreciate ourselves. Like you look at a five year old, they're not saying I am dumb or I'm this or
		
00:51:22 --> 00:52:03
			I'm skinny, I'm I'm fat, or they don't say those things to themselves, they just live present in the
moment free. Unfortunately, kind of that's changing, because the negativity is reaching younger and
younger ages upon a loss through the environment. But what what we often automatically say to
ourselves is what was imprinted upon us growing up or through our environment, you know, maybe
through a spouse, maybe through some, you know, friends who have said some negative things about
you, and then you start to adopt and then believe, or that becomes even sometimes your neuro wiring
your brain wiring is so automated, that your your self talk in the background is I'm dumb. I'm not
		
00:52:03 --> 00:52:33
			good enough, I'm worthless. And for me, I carried a bit of that, because I actually grew up with
5050. Like, one, you know, negative parent, and I had a really positive parent. So I was always torn
between the two. You know, I was always like, Okay, this parents isn't good. So I know, I'm good.
I've got some potential there. And another parent that would just like when the moods would kick in,
it was just your this, your that, you know, put down swear words, those types of things. So I
carried a bit of like, I know I'm worth something. No, but you're not. It's a battle between the
two.
		
00:52:34 --> 00:53:10
			And when I tried to step forward in life, I'm like, Okay, again, I had I know I've got potential.
And then that self talk of the messaging from my childhood, in my innocent times, in my innocent
years, was still running in the background, but then part of being an adult. Now you got to choose
my sister, what do you choose to say to yourself, and you have to choose what is most pleasing to
Allah subhanaw taala. What is most pleasing to Allah subhanaw taala is to say to yourself, what he
says to you, what does he say to you, he's, he loves that he loves you unconditionally, that you are
a leader on this earth, that you are worth so much that you are worthy of all blessings and
		
00:53:10 --> 00:53:45
			forgiveness and Rockman and, you know, and peace, you're worthy of all of that, by default. Allah
wants to Allah chooses that for all of us. And once that for all of us. So it's about being true to
you again, being true to Allah to Allah, and listening to the narrative that he says about you and
your worth and your, your confidence and your potential. What does he say about it? And we have to
kind of again, we're like rewiring now we have to believe what Allah says about us, rather than the
negative things that were said or that happened to us in our life. Allah knows best.
		
00:53:48 --> 00:54:00
			Okay, so we've got we've meant to time to have a break between sessions, but we've got so many
questions coming in, Felicia. So are you okay to keep going for another five minute? Yeah, Charla
		
00:54:01 --> 00:54:05
			for collation. She's going back to back between conferences today. So
		
00:54:06 --> 00:54:11
			I've got a few hours because I got the time wrong. So I've got a few hours. So the next one. Okay.
		
00:54:12 --> 00:54:22
			So I think aliens asked me to say that if you've upgraded, your membership recordings will be
available after the conference. So that's just a little announcement that popped up here.
		
00:54:23 --> 00:54:59
			We have another question regarding the environment. I used to live in another place where Subhan
Allah was able to achieve something amazing and was self assured. After returning back home this
last few years, I feel that my confidence has been eroded. How can I regain self confidence despite
the environment? Yeah. So sometimes it is, it's a bit of like an easy, it's an easy exit or an easy
opt in to say, oh, I'll just move and change environment and then I have more confidence when I'm in
an environment away from you know, maybe the toxic people, but ideally, you want to be able to
thrive and fulfill your potential regardless of the invite
		
00:55:00 --> 00:55:41
			moment you're in. Because what's happening is we're telling ourselves, again, these false messages
about putting the responsibility of what your potential is based on external factors. So it's like
all but when I'm in that town or that suburb, those people are there. And when they're there, I
can't be myself, I can't do these goals because they get jealous. Or they might say this, or they
might make trouble. It doesn't matter where you are, you still need to be true to yourself and
fulfill these ambitions and goals and do this work that you know, you were put here to do. If you
live limiting yourself, you are forever going to be held hostage by those opinions of others, and
		
00:55:41 --> 00:56:20
			not even if their real opinion might just be assumed opinions. So again, look at the ties and the
bonds and the beliefs that we create, about you know, certain things which we assume are responsible
for our quality of life and they're actually not. So like I said, it's about like, like snipping
away. They're not responsible, I need to live my, my greatest truth. I don't care what they say
snip, so it doesn't matter where you are, you still need to inshallah move forward. Or if you don't,
that's where your sense of dissatisfaction will come in. Like it's a choice, a fulfilled and
satisfied life by being true to yourself, or like I explained in those few little research points.
		
00:56:20 --> 00:56:50
			If you're not authentic, and you live to please others, your happiness is going to dwindle, you
won't feel fulfillment, you won't feel joy, you won't feel true in a state of happiness. So that
that state of happiness is up to us. We have so much more like power and control over our quality of
life than we even realize we have no idea that it's all it's all in our hands. And ultimately, Allah
subhanaw taala is hands, but it's all in your hands. This is the quality of life that you live.
		
00:56:51 --> 00:57:11
			Yeah, beautiful. Hamdulillah. Okay, we've got another question here. How can we face the criticism
that it's making us feel down and difficult to get up and start over? Because I feel alone when I
build my startup? And even if there's any sisters around who wanted to help me?
		
00:57:12 --> 00:57:37
			Yep. So feeling low because of the criticisms? I'll tell you something interesting. When I started
my business, the people closest to me that I'd worked with for over a decade. Still till today, I
haven't had one word of congratulations, one word of how's your business going? And for me, like,
the silence was emotionally violent to me. Like it was emotional.
		
00:57:39 --> 00:57:54
			I was still like, it's it isn't I have a little twinge. But you know, but I just don't have that I
leave that with them. Like, that's their, whatever it is with them. And that's okay. I know that.
I'm so proud of myself for starting my business. I'm so proud of the hard work that's gone into it
on a lot.
		
00:57:55 --> 00:58:22
			So, and even though I did also get negative criticisms were like, well, at least they're saying
something, but they're saying it to my face, but it's not helpful at all, you know. So again, it's
about like that responsibility. It's knowing now that at the end of the day, when I go to sleep, I
need to say to myself, I lived my truth today. And I did what I know, was pleasing to Allah, it's
what I was put here for, it makes me happy. And stuff the rest of them.
		
00:58:23 --> 00:59:03
			You need to be able to say, doesn't matter what anyone says, or things like other people's opinions,
we give it so much weight, and I heard a talk the other day, I can never remember the exact words
but it's like, the weight you give to the opinion of others, you know about you, it. It really like
it devalues you the fact that you give it so much weight, what you think of you should matter so
much more than what others think of you on the Day of Judgment when you stand before a law. And
you're going to say a lot I did this I didn't do this, you will answer your opinion of you. I worked
hard for you or Allah or on the dangers and we're gonna stand there and be like that person come and
		
00:59:03 --> 00:59:36
			just say something can that person come and say something? No, between you and Allah to speak for
yourself? They're going to be worried about themselves. This is why even Islamic model everyone is
to their own everyone's running away from each other and the day of judgment. You got to answer for
you. But what excuses will be valid? No. Like, those people were negative. So I didn't you know, I
didn't do that Dawa program. I didn't go and teach Quran salah, because those people were toxic and
they said this and they did that. It's not going to be good enough. Like you have so much to give
each and every one of us have so much to give someone a lot.
		
00:59:38 --> 00:59:49
			So you're not going to go and get a proper job then kaneesha Oh, I can only have a I can't have a
proper job. Don't know, like, a couple of days of work. And then yeah.
		
00:59:51 --> 00:59:53
			That wasn't the answer. I was.
		
00:59:54 --> 00:59:59
			He was supposed to say no, this is a proper job. Just speaking my truth Kathy
		
01:00:00 --> 01:00:00
			Ready
		
01:00:01 --> 01:00:02
			yeah
		
01:00:04 --> 01:00:47
			I know we need we need more business women we need our entrepreneurial minds we need us to be
leaders of you know we can't just be bottom feeders as Muslims start a business system make it grow
and make it grow big dream big and it's going to it we need we need our Muslim businesses to like
become you know build economic power in the online in the you know in the global scene as well we
want people to come to us because we have these amazing candle businesses or we have amazing
coaching businesses are we out we own a an awesome salon or a supermarket like why you know why not
on well we we've got a we're gonna do this all together.
		
01:00:48 --> 01:01:13
			So, Leila, I'm afraid we'll have to come back to you at some point and with your question, because
we need to move on to the next segment. But I'm just gonna here for say, saying that you're learning
a lot from the conference and I mean to your DUA, but we will keep your question there. It'll stay
there and we will answer it at some point. colletion Zack will appear for
		
01:01:14 --> 01:01:24
			your time today and you didn't sound foggy even though you thought you did. Quite clear to the rest
of us. So have a very good job of disguising it. I
		
01:01:28 --> 01:01:56
			look forward to seeing you in the panel discussion on addiction which will be in a little while
time. So if anyone wants to hear more of Felicia, just hang around and don't forget there's a link
in there to book a session with her if you wish. Awesome debacle. Okay, thanks so much for having me
and a quick shout out to my beautiful sister Diane who's tuned in just sending you love and salaam
sister Diane and yet everyone else thank you so much for interacting and being here hunting
		
01:01:57 --> 01:02:00
			cycle hopefully, Catherine finally come back