Calisha Bennett – 8 Self Improvement Skill for Life

			Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah salam wa alayhi wa sallam avod salam aleikum
wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Peace be upon you, everyone. This is your sister, Felicia Bennett,
founder of developing diamonds. And I'm here with you today to share some self improvement skills
for life. And in particular, we've got eight different skills for life, which can really help you to
cope with what life throws your way, as well as being able to be a really disciplined, organized and
fulfilled individual. So the first tip that we have is time management. And as we know, current
times are really busy, quite hectic, people feel very much under demand. But we're all gifted and
		

			blessed with the same 24 hours each day. And what we choose to do with it will definitely differ and
vary person to person. Some people struggle to get much out of the day to day runnings in the 24
hours in the day, and others maximize their 24 hours and get a lot out of it. So it's super
important to be someone who is somewhat planning ahead and scheduling what it is that they'd like to
achieve day to day, making the most out of the time that they've been blessed with. We know that the
Prophet Mohammed peace be upon him. He said that there are two blessings, which are often taken for
granted. And those two are health and free time. So it's really important that we decide and
		

			strategically choose what we spend our time doing. And in particular, what we do with our free time.
Of course, we all need downtime, we need time to relax, we need time to take the edge off life's
pressures. But at the same time, make sure we aren't doing too much down time activities and aren't
dedicating too much time to leisurely activities. Because no doubt this life is meant for hard work
and striving for the sake of our Creator. The other thing, which is an important skill to have in
life is empathy. And empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person's shoes or in another
person's situation, and really connect and understand how it is they might be feeling to be able to
		

			empathize with what someone's going through means to to really feel some sort of connection or some
type of understanding of what it is they might be experiencing. When we show up with empathy in the
lives of those around us or in those that we work with or with our family members. What it does is
it helps to lift any negativity, any judgment, any anger or frustration that you might experience
had you not lent towards or learned the skill of empathy. So we know as Muslims that the Prophet
peace be upon him was a mercy to mankind. And he always carried empathy towards anyone who came his
way, whether they were the, you know, people who committed major sins or whether it was someone in a
		

			very difficult part of their life or feeling in the in the depths of their sorrows, it always had
empathy and through the energy of empathy, he was able to really support and assist the individuals
who came his way. And likewise, if we can do that, in our relationships with the people that we work
around, it's going to make our journey and interaction with others a whole lot easier, and will be
able to help a whole lot more people.
		

			The next self improvement skill is to master your sleep patterns. And to be honest,
		

			I'm not an expert on the topic because I've always struggled with making sure that I get enough
sleep. But we know that in Assam we we understand that our body has rights over us. And sleep is an
important part of looking after your health and looking after your well being and not getting enough
sleep. The science now is showing has massive detrimental effects to your health, to your brain
function into your overall sense of well being. We know that a lack of sleep affects our moods. So
we behave in a in a lower quality of mannerism and behavior. And so sleep is something which needs
to be prioritized. In Islam, we have an ideal sleeping pattern, we have a sleep model, based on the
		

			son of the Prophet peace be upon him where they would sleep after they did their Isha prayer, and
they would get up in the early hours of the morning for night prayer. And then in the early parts of
the day was spent in either worship or productivity or work in business. So we learned that sleep
should be something our pattern sleeping patterns should be one in which we sleep early, and we wake
up early. And unfortunately, due to the technological times that we're in, and the ability to have
lights on within the house and screens and entertainment running into the night. Often people are
staying up late and then unfortunately waking up late and we have reduced amounts of productivity. A
		

			whole lot less productive, productive.
		

			In modern times than we used to have in the olden days.
		

			Also, we need to build the skill of positive self talk more often than not, you know, individuals or
people that I'll speak to that I will coach, they'll express that they don't think too highly of
themselves, that they think they aren't good enough that they think they don't have what it takes to
fulfill their potential that they are somehow worthless or incapable, or not beautiful or not
skilled or not talented. We are experts in negative self talk, and it shouldn't be the way it
shouldn't be this way. It's unacceptable that we talk down to ourselves and that we crush ourselves
emotionally and psychologically. So it's important to build the skill of positive self talk, that
		

			when hard things happen in life, we tell ourselves I'm okay, I can get through this, that when we
fail at something we are able to tell ourselves, you're okay you can do better next time you tried
your best. Without when calamities afflict us in life, that we're able to say Alhamdulillah I'm
grateful praise and thank you to Allah, Who decreed this situation, he will be my way through this
situation. So part of positive self talk. It also connects deeply with being able to trust and
depend on Allah subhanaw taala and turn to him into art and supplication. So being able to have
reliance on our Creator, reliance on our ability to get through all of our tests in life with
		

			resilience and with with doing the right thing and making the right choices throughout that path.
The positive self talk is a skill that often a lot of us haven't grown up with, we've often been
trained and molded to have negative self talk. But that doesn't mean we can't change it. And we
can't start to be more positive and hopeful and optimistic about ourselves and our lives and our
potential.
		

			Next skill is consistency. In Islam, we learn that the best of deeds is the deed that is small but
done consistent, consistently. And in life. Of course, we should have big goals, we should have
lofty aspirations. But don't ever underestimate the importance of doing small things and doing them
regularly. You know, as human beings, we are creatures of habit. And our lives are actually made up
of little habits done consistently, whether they are good or bad, whether you have a bad you whether
you have bad eating habits or whether you have positive physical activity or exercise habits, or
whether you have consistency in doing prayers on time, or whether you have
		

			you know,
		

			a habit of swearing for example, our our lifestyles, our quality of life is built upon the habits
that we have started to repeat, that we have automated over time that we have fallen into
		

			being comfortable with or not challenging. But what we want to do is be able to have our lives full
of positive habits, positive
		

			ways of speaking, positive ways of behaving, positive ways of living, healthy and constructive ways
of living our lives day to day that are done consistently. Because it's no use if I exercise once in
six months, and then expect that my no my muscles will be bigger or there'll be fitter because I
exercise once in six months. Rather my my physiological change my fitness abilities will adapt and
evolve, evolve and improve based on the little workouts that I do day by day, over a consistent
amount of time. As believers out our Islamic way of life is built upon doing little acts of worship
little deeds and doing them regularly consistently, until they build up an entire Islamic lifestyle.
		

			So aim to be a person who is consistent rather than random and sporadic and inconsistent. We want to
be high quality high functioning individuals as believers who are dependable because of our ability
to be consistent in our actions.
		

			Another skill for life is it might sound vulnerable, or you might assume it to be weak, but it's
actually really important to be able to ask for help. So if you are feeling stuck in life, if you
are feeling like you aren't fulfilling your potential, if you're feeling you're going through a test
and you need to talk to someone you need to lean on someone, if you are struggling financially, if
you are having issues with your mental health. If you are
		

			needing a hand to simple thing like moving house, don't be afraid to ask for help. You know, we have
this misconception that I shouldn't ask anyone for anything, I need to be as independent as
possible. No one should know my struggles. If I have an issue, I should be the only one who can find
my way through that issue, or I need to have all the answers I need to know everything. That's not
the case. Often in life, we're going to reach times and moments where we will need to put up our
hand and call up for support or assistance, whether emotionally psychologically, spiritually,
physically, financially, socially, don't be afraid to ask for help, because just around the corner
		

			of your hardship, or of your struggle, is a solution. And sometimes you just need a helping hand to
reach that solution. And it isn't always about needing from others. Sometimes a little bit of
support can help you to figure out and sort out your own circumstance, your own situation. And I
know in my life anytime, where I did courageously ask for help with something that I was going
through, or something I needed assistance in the the help and the response was overwhelming. And it
is really reassuring and uplifting, when you're able to know that you can get help and support if
and when you need it. And it also plants within you the intention, the understanding that if ever I
		

			have the chance, I'm going to give back the help that I received. So don't be afraid to ask for
help. It's actually a brave thing to ask for help. And it's not always the bravest thing to suffer
in silence.
		

			A really important score I really liked this one is knowing when to stay quiet. We know the
beautiful Hadith where the Prophet peace be upon him said
		

			let him who believes in the last day either speak good, or keep silent. And if we can just apply
this rule that we don't open our mouth, and we don't say something unless it is good, unless it is
helpful unless it is beneficial. Unless it is pleasing to Allah, to be able to know when to open
your mouth and say something which is beneficial, or when to close our mouth and to withhold from
speaking. Whether it's in social environments, whether it's with our loved ones, and in our family,
you'll never regret choosing to withhold something that you're going to say that might have caused
harm or damage, you'd never regret that. But you'd always regret that you didn't taste your words
		

			before you uttered them. You would always regret saying something in the heat of the moment. And
then seeing the damage that it caused and then saying I wish I could take it back. I wish I didn't
say that. So to be able to know when to stay quiet, to be able to know when your silence is better
than your speech. This is a very important and a very good skill to have. You know, and I just read
a quote today, I think it was even a lame, just about that on the day of judgment will come with so
many deeds, so many good deeds, but our tongue, what the words we've uttered the things we've said
have destroyed and ruined and caused us to lose those mountains of good deeds. So May Allah, Allah
		

			protect us.
		

			The last skill for self improvement is listening. And you might think are easy called listening.
Yep, I'll do more listening. But it's actually something which is a bit of a challenge for most
people to do to actually truly listen. A lot of people they listen only to respond only to come back
with a comeback. But to be able to listen to someone wholeheartedly without judgment, without
conclusions without the need to give answers or to
		

			correct the person or to voice your opinion on the matter to just truly listen is such an amazing
and beautiful and long lost skill. We're given two ears and one mouth, which means we should listen
twice as much as we speak. And that kind of correlates with the previous tip that we just had
previous skill that we just had. But to be able to listen to people and to truly hear what they're
saying and to not just hear what they're saying, but to hear what's not being said as well, to hear
the message behind the external words that they might be saying or the external emotions and might
be expressing that there is something that we need to hear from those that we care about or those
		

			that we love. To be able to listen to our teachers, to our mentors to our coaches and advisors and
really take on board what it is that they have to share from their wealth of wisdom, knowledge and
experience is a very important skill trait and quality to have. There's nothing worse than someone
who is you know, an apprentice or an amateur
		

			In life, who has so much to say and doesn't listen to those who know better, or who have knowledge
or wisdom to share. So it's important to have the attitude in life to have a beginner's mind, always
feel like you have so much to learn from those around you, and to be someone who listens much more
than you speak, and to take any gems of wisdom and insight that you can from those around you. So
those are eight self improvement skills for life, which I personally feel will definitely benefit
me. And I hope they benefit you and that you take them on board. They are time management, learn how
to manage your time, one of the greatest blessings that we have in this life that we have time to be
		

			able to manage it well and utilize it, according to the best of your ability to have empathy to
someone who has a big heart, you're able to understand things from the perspective of others and
without judgment, to master your sleep patterns, to be able to give yourself rest so you can be re
energized refueled and recovered for the work of your day to day operations for the day to come. So
to be someone who has that basic discipline of sleeping is very important to have positive self
talk, it's easy to talk down to ourselves, it's easy to be negative, it's easy to look at our
limitations and failures. But to be able to do to partake in positive self talk constantly to have
		

			your self narrative be one that inspires is inspires yourself and that you believe in yourself and
you're invested in your potential. This is an amazing quality and skill to have consistency to do
things and do them obviously in a high quality but to do even the small things on a consistent
basis. That is the pathway to building a successful life or an experience of fulfilling your
potential and living a constructive and productive existence. also asking for help. There is no
shame in asking for help. You'd be amazed at how far you can get through getting support and help
knowing when to stay quiet when your silence is better than your speech. That is, you know, wisdom
		

			to be able to have and self control to be able to implement and listening, listening to others
listening to your thoughts and reflections and listening to the wisdoms listening to the reflections
of life that you can witness around you is also a very important skill to have. So all the best
everyone, hopefully you can implement, we can all implement these self improvement skills. This
these points were taken from an article on life hack.org and I've just curated them to be also
islamically connected as well does acalypha salaam alaikum