Bilal Assad – Character Series #04 Cultivating Empathy
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the meaning of "assurance" in Arabic, which refers to faith and belief in Islam. They stress the importance of being honest and not blaming oneself, as it can negatively impact one's community and personal health. The speaker also emphasizes the need to be patient and perseverance, and reminds students to be patient and not taunt themselves and others.
AI: Summary ©
Welcome, welcome.
Beautiful word in Arabic. And assalamu alaikum once
again.
You know the word Ahlan wassalan in Arabic,
we the Arabs used to use it even
before Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasalam came out. And,
Islam loves
to, you know, when when Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala brings to us new guidance,
we find that it keeps the beautiful things
that people people's customs used to share. And
the word ahlann wasahallan doesn't just mean welcome.
It means
you are family
or consider yourself family, and your presence with
us is very easy, so be comfortable. Beautiful
statement which Islam kept, and we say it
to each other. And the reason why I
opened it up with this is because we're
talking about the beautiful verses in Surat Al
Hujurat about the character of a Muslim,
which is based on faith and belief in
Allah. If you believe in Allah and you
have faith in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, then
you would love to take his guidance. And
one of the amazing things Allah loves about
us is character. For the prophet, peace be
upon him, did say,
As a matter of fact, I was sent
in order to
help to perfect
the matters of good character. It means that
some people, they had good character even if
they were not Muslim, but there are two
meanings to it. Number 1, they had good
character, but there was still more
in order to perfect it, and the prophet,
peace be upon him, completed it for us.
And the second meaning is that some people
consider certain things to be good character, but
they're not. So the other meaning is to
also correct your understanding of certain aspects of
good character, such are the messengers of Allah.
The next verse that we're going to talk
about,
continuing Surat Al Hujarat, is
3 words, which means, and do not
taunt
one another.
The word
taunt is a little bit loose. It actually
has
a more comprehensive meaning in Arabic.
In English it's just taunt but in Arabic,
And
is quite familiar to us from another surah,
isn't it? Another surah that we remember is
appears again in another surah. But this time
Allah also mentions
So we've got in Surah Hujurat
and in another verse
What is the difference?
Lomaza means to
slander,
put down,
talk behind a person's back,
backbite them,
say stuff passively behind their backs,
ruin their reputations in a very sneaky way,
and then appear in front of the person
as if you're their friend.
Two faced person.
In the other verse,
it means woe to every and every
The difference between the two is that is
in your face,
is behind your back.
And we are forbidden from both things.
You have to be the same face
in a person's face and behind their back.
But
I need to make a very important point.
Some people, and I've heard this a lot,
especially from younger people, they say, hey, I'll
be bad to you in front of your
face, and bad to you behind your back.
No. No. No. No. That's not what it
means. Remember, we are brothers and sisters, and
the character of Islam has to shine even
with non Muslims.
Don't be bad to them behind their back,
and don't be bad to them in front
of their face. That's why Allah says don't
do that. Because that's how you break communities.
That's how you break families.
Just because someone says, I'd say it to
his face. No. No. No. That's bad character
too. Why should you be so mean like
that?
That's not a society which Allah has
advised us to grow in, and definitely a
community cannot grow and be productive with love,
care, and good relationships. In fact, think about
our children. If we do that in front
of them, then our children will do the
same. And we start getting reports from school,
and we start to become defensive.
You know, as a teacher, I sometimes see
where some parents can't handle hearing stuff about
their children. You know why? Because psychologically,
this is what I've learned and seen,
they feel that the attack is on them.
And that's like almost
a self confession that you're guilty.
Again, we don't wanna
accuse or
think wrong about our brothers and sisters or
anybody like that, but you do see it,
and sometimes we see it in ourselves. We
have to be honest with ourselves. We have
to be honest with ourselves.
Woe to every person who is
a taunting person to your face and taunting
behind your back.
Putting other people down.
Lumaza has another meaning as well, which is
subtle, and humazah as well. And that is
when somebody makes symbols and signals.
At the time of the prophet Muhammad, peace
be upon him, that's what they did to
him companions. The disbelievers of Mecca, it was
one of their ways of canceling other people
out.
It was one of their ways of making
other people
look down on the companions and the prophet,
peace be upon him, because they couldn't
make them or convince other people that they're
saying falsehood.
They failed in that. And when a person
can't put another person down intellectually,
or through
intelligent discussion, or through evidence,
they start to resort to the cheap stuff.
Call them names,
taunt them,
Say false things about them.
Or mix the false and the truth together
just to make the other person look bad.
This is a terrible,
terrible character, and we should never walk towards
there because it's going to come back and
bite us in the back.
Allah says in the Quran, for example, in
Surat Al Munafiqoon,
that those believers
who used to be taunted that way
Because you see, when you're taunted like that
with luamazah, it's so subtle that
it's so hard to defend yourself. Have you
ever seen, again, on social media, since everybody
uses social media, some people, they taunt you
with their comments,
and they put you down. There's no real
substance. There's no real,
justification. It's just putting you down, and it
really hurts. And it makes other people feel,
oh,
I better,
not, you know, stand with that person because
he or she is, you know, they're getting
the the floor wiped with them.
And it affects other people just to take
stances and not be able to stand up
to defend them through this bullying tactics, through
this abusive tactics.
No. We have to stand up for each
other. And you feel that you can't defend
yourself. If you reply,
then they'll say, oh, you're just the same.
If you don't reply,
people will say, oh, you know, I'm going
to stand against this person as well.
And you feel that
you're alone.
The solution to that is, you just gotta
look past it.
They used to come up to the Prophet
Muhammad, peace be upon him. One time, the
Prophet, peace be upon him, was giving out
charity
that was given to him to give out
to the companions.
As he was giving it out,
some
men who were still new to Islam still
had this character of lummazah,
and behind the Prophet, peace be upon his
back, they said, look at the Prophet,
he's favouring
some people more than others.
A companion
of the
Prophet was
righteous. He heard this, and he said, wallahi,
I'm going to tell the Prophet
about it. So he went, and the other
people ran away. He said, You
Rasoolallah,
people are saying
that You are favoring other people, and I
cannot accept that.
What is the Prophet
going to do? Go after them. Do what?
It's not going to benefit anything. So he
just said a common statement, just one thing.
He said,
remembering his brother Moses
Musa
Moses was taunted
even greater than that.
He remained patient
and persevered and kept going.
I will also be patient and persevering.
If the Messenger
had to deal with that,
then don't worry.
The best of creation,
know that, insha'Allah,
you're okay.
Just continue to do the right thing, and
make sure that you please Allah Subhana Wa
Ta'la.
As for the bully,
well, people are going to soon know what
they're really like, and I'll tell you something.
As a teacher, I see students do that
to each other,
and sometimes
I hear about
long term friends.
Overnight, they become almost like enemies,
and I wonder what actually happened between them.
They would have gone on their
social
media
group chats at home,
and someone would have said something about someone
else, and suddenly a long term friendship
is severed.
And the first thing I realize about these
long term friendships that are severed, you know
what they do?
Is that they start to talk about their
flaws and their secrets that they knew about
them,
and they spread it.
That's because the type of friend they had
was
the type they used to talk about other
people.
You have 2 friends,
and they're not good friends in the name
of Allah. They're just friends because they have
the same
agendas or the same needs and wants.
But if those two friends are used to
talking about other people, slandering other people,
putting down and taunting other people,
then one day they're going to taunt you
as well. In fact, they probably are doing
that right now already.
And that is why Allah
tells us in the Qur'an,
The closest of friends in this world on
the day of judgment are going to be
the most
vicious enemies to each other.
Except the friends
who used to fear Allah. What does that
mean? It means that friend,
when he or she heard their other friend
taunting someone else, they stopped them. They advised
them. They said, look, they'll say to each
other, we are friends based on the love
of Allah, and if you're going to be
my friend,
that's what we're going to be friends upon.
Those are true friends,
not the ones who share dirty secrets about
other people. Not the ones who share in
taunting other people, just and in thinking, yeah,
we are the true friends because we taunt
other people together.
No.
That will come back to bite you in
the back as well. Don't be among them.
And that is another lesson that we learn
from Allah
beautifully and simply put with 3 words,
Do not taunt
yourselves.
I just want to make a final point,
but I just realized as I'm reciting it.
Allah does not say, do not taunt
one another. I mean, that's what it means.
But he said, Amfusakum,
meaning yourselves,
as if to say, When you taunt others,
you are taunting yourself,
and when you taunt others, you are ruining
your own community, and you're part of that
community, so you are destroying yourself in the
process.
Don't do that and drown yourselves. Amazing words
from Allah, the creator of the heavens and
the earth, and the one who created our
hearts and our bodies and our minds and
souls. Protect them and protect our community. Wassalaamu
Alaikum Warahmatullahi.