Ammar Alshukry – How to Endure People’s Harm
AI: Summary ©
The transcript discusses three actions that can lead to harm, including acknowledging and embracing others' actions, letting them know what they have done, and accepting responsibility. The actions include forgiveness, patience, and acceptance of responsibility. The segment also references a person who was hated and loved by others but eventually became a warm protector.
AI: Summary ©
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all praises due to Allah we seek His guidance and his forgiveness and we seek refuge in Allah from the evil of ourselves and the whispering of our desires, whom Allah guides no one can misguide. To whom we allow us to be misled. No one can guide and I bear witness that there is nothing worthy of worship except Allah, Allah and having no partners. And that Muhammad Sallallahu it who ascended them is his slave, and perfect worshipper. Allah subhanho data says in the Quran, Oh you who believe fear Allah as he deserves to be feared, and do not die except in a state of Islam. And Allah says, Oh, mankind Fear your Lord who created you from a single soul and produce from that soul it's made
and made from their combination many men and women. So feel your Lord whom you ask each other by and by the ties of kinship, verily, Allah is Ever Watchful over you. And Allah says, Oh, you who believe, fear Allah and say that which is correct, he will correct for you your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, then they are indeed victorious, as to proceed.
The Prophet salallahu Salam was once distributing
spoils after a war.
And a man came to Rasulullah sallallahu sallam,
and he said, Oh, Mohamed Adel.
He said, Oh Muhammad be just
because had he had this Mattoon Maori, Debbie Howard, hola. This is a distribution through which the face of God is not being sought, said O Muhammad be just because the way you're distributing right now. This is not the distribution of somebody who's seeking God.
Can you imagine a statement like that being made to Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. The accusation of being unjust, the accusation of seeking other than Allah subhanaw Diallo, in his entire life has been the greatest manifestation of human sincerity ever, the greatest manifestation of worship ever, the greatest manifestation of sacrifice ever and the prophets of Allah they are setting them lowered his head.
And he said, may Allah Subhana Allah have mercy on Musa Lockard gouvia The following had for Sabol may Allah have mercy on Musa he has been harmed by more than this by more than any statement like this man is saying.
And he endured, he showed solver
to interact with human beings
is to experience ignorance, to interact with people is to is to experience harm. And so I wanted to briefly remind myself and my brothers with regards to and my sisters with regards to our instruction that ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada gives us with regards to enduring harm.
Many times, you may come across a person who as a result of harm that they experience, whether it's from their family, or whether it's from the community or whether it's from the masjid or whether it's from the Muslims or whether it's that their response is to then isolate themselves. Their response is to no longer interact, their responses to cut off family members, their responses to cut off relationships, their responses to distance themselves from the community because of harm that I experienced from them, because people back baited me because people insulted me because people will harm me in some way.
But Allah subhanaw taala reminds us and he says was stupid enough second, my Lavinia do not have bombilla that you will actually
UD doing our job, Allah Subhana Allah, Allah says, endure the company of those who call upon their Lord in the morning of the evening you really do in our chat seeking his face, endure their company persevere in their company. Yes, there will be times when people will wrong you.
That is part of the human experience. Allah subhanaw. Taala describes humanity when he says well how Allah had insight into who Ghana lumen Jehovah. Allah describes humanity as being oppressive and ignorant.
The only way to avoid oppression in your life and to avoid ignorance in your life is to avoid people forever.
But to interact with people,
to interact with human beings, is to interact with people who have human deficiencies. And so our response is not to try to create an idealistic world in which there is no harm and there is no one will ever insult me and no, no ever misjudged me or mischaracterized me or
this dunya was not created to be that place.
But what I am required to do is to recognize the reality of humanity, it is to recognize the reality of this dunya and to recognize that all of this is an opportunity for me to manifest an attribute that Allah Subhana Allah loves for me to manifest and that is the attributes of software. Allah subhanho data says, endure the company of those who call upon their Lord in the morning in the evening, and do not let your eyes seeking his face and do not let your eyes go beyond them. You're seeking the adornment of this world, perhaps a person, that adornment may simply be something like peace of mind.
It may be something like
seeking the company of those who might be a better a better opportunity for them when it comes to the dunya. But Allah subhana wa Tada says, Hold fast to the community of the believers and the prophets of Allah, he was sending me he says, I mean, the believer and leather you hire to NAS, the believer as a money manager reports, the believer that mixes with the people weigh us Bureau either at home, and is patient and endures the harm that comes as if to say, to be in the company of people is to incur or to experience harm that you must then endure. That just comes with relationships, any relationship, someone's going to let you down one day, someone's going to harm you one day,
someone's going to make a mistake one day and they're going to come and apologize the next day you're going to have to forgive them. That is part of having meaningful relationships. The only way to avoid that is to avoid any relationship of meaning. And so the prophets of Allah do is send them says the believer a letter, you hide it to NASA, Wellsboro Allah, Allah, Allah, you harder to NASA, what is when Allah Allah him,
the believer who mixes with the people, and endures their harm is better than the believer who doesn't mix with the people and doesn't endure their harm.
Person who isolates themselves, they're gonna have a lot of tranquility and peace in their life. But the Prophet sallallahu, as the name says, The one who mixes and the one who endures, and the one who, who, who, who teaches a person forever, and then that person turns around and slanders them, and this person helps a person forever, and then that person comes around and back bites them, or is ungrateful to them or takes an opportunity that causes them harm, that is still a person who is in a better position than the one who isolates themselves. Now, the scholars, they talk about isolationism versus integration, they talk about that a lot. And there are a time there is a time
and a place for a person to isolate themselves true at the same time. It's not like it is something that is absolute In either case, there are times when a person should separate themselves, and of those times is when you are not a positive influence on those who you are in their company, but rather they are a negative influence on you. And so if I could give you a really basic example, you have the example of the person who's struggling in the water,
but you don't know how to swim. So if you jump in to try to help them, that's two casualties.
But if you're strong enough, and you're skilled enough, and you have the ability to go and to pull them out of the water, then you do that. But you're not obligated to cast yourself.
If you don't have that strength, and you don't have that skill. Similarly, if I have the ability to positively affect people who want when I'm in their company, when I'm in their company, I have the personality or the leadership or the rapport or what have you that when I say let's pray, they pray. And when I say no, we're not going to do that. We don't do that. Or when I say let's do this, everybody listens. I am positively influencing them. Yes, I engage. But if I am not have that personality, or I'm not of that age, or I don't have that status or whatever it is and rather they are the negative influence on me.
And so when I'm with them, I'm not praying. And when I'm with them, I'm doing things that I normally otherwise wouldn't do, then I don't be myself, I don't be that person who casts myself into the water at my own destruction at my own peril. It depends on who is influencing who and who is a positive influence. And so when you have the ability to engage people,
and they do not affect you negatively, other than maybe some harm that you incur,
doesn't affect your deen rather it might be a clause of raising of your status with ALLAH SubhanA data, then that is something that a person should endure and something that a person should seek reward with Allah subhanaw taala for because the Prophet SAW Allah it was setting them said that the believer who mixes with the people and his patient and endures and perseveres their harm, that is better than the one who doesn't mix with them. And so, what are some of the ways that we can manifest this endurance? What are some of the things that we can do to increase this endurance of ours this patients of ours this perseverance of ours, number one is to recognize that this is, this
is the stage. This is the way that Allah Subhana Allah Tala designed this world Allah Subhana Allah data he says what Jade Jana Baba company evolved in fitna, as a spiritual law says we made some of you tests for another, are you going to be patient? And so that first, that first step is to look through the harm?
Not to focus on the person but to look through the harm? What does that mean? The example that the scholars give is like the example of glass.
And so when my children are disrespecting me, or when my spouse is harming me, or my family members, or my community, or whatever tests that I incur, my, my coworker, whatever tests that I incur, I am not looking at them, because we naturally then obsess over this individual.
But you look through them, and you see behind that person,
Allah subhanaw taala, that I recognize that behind this individual is a Lord who created this test for me. And the question is, am I going to pass this test? Or am I going to fail? And so through every interaction, I am no longer even seeing the interaction and I'm not seeing the person who is the actor of the interaction, but rather I am seeing through that interaction and through that individual and I am gazing at Allah Subhana Allah, and I am seeing that ALLAH SubhanA data says with John Navab, looking at a balding fitna, Allah designed this world to be like that. And Allah then says at the Spirit, when are you going to? Are you going to exercise endurance? Are you going to
exercise perseverance? Are you going to exercise patience? Number two. So the first is to look through. The second is to look upwards.
The second is to look upwards. And this is of the greatest benefits that a person recognize that however you respond.
I just thought I mean, Jen said that people will have a reward similar to their actions. And so when I turn around to someone, and I show in forbearance, that Allah subhanaw taala will show me forbearance, forbearance, meaning restraint with the ability to punish, that when I exercise forbearance, it is time when I could have exercised anger or I could have exercised power that Allah subhanaw taala isn't highly Allah subhanho wa Taala will deal with me with forbearance, that when I exercise forgiveness when someone has wronged me that I recognize that Allah subhanaw taala is the forgiver and my sins are too many to count. And so when I turn around and I forgive someone who has
wronged me because you don't forgive anyone except the person who has wronged you,
and so when you turn around and you show forgiveness, you hope that in doing so, ALLAH SubhanA data is going to forgive you. Allah Subhana Allah Allah he says, Well, yeah for well yes for who? Allah to a boon for Allah, Allah. Allah says, Let those who have been wronged let them forgive and let them overlook. And this came down with regards to Abu Bakr so they Columbia Allah and who he had a relative who had participated in the campaign the slander against Aisha even an ISIS his daughter, Abu Bakr Al Dila. And even though this man is a relative of Abu Abu Bakr, Radi Allahu Anhu. And even though this was a man who wrote the hola on who used to actually give money to he used to help him
out. Could you imagine the layers of pain? This is somebody who used to financially help. This is someone who is a relative to you. This is someone who is being slandered in your family to his daughter, I shut up the law and there was no greater harm that could be directed towards an Arab Arab man. During the time of the prophets of Allah. It is said less than an attack on his honor on his family and Abu Bakr the Allah and who's experiencing this
And so when the verses of Asha Gila Anna and his innocence were revealed, Abu Bakr said, I'm never going to I'm not helping this guy out anymore. But what that Allah subhanaw taala revealed, he said, Let them forgive and let them pardon.
But Allah subhanaw taala ties that forgiveness, to what to his forgiveness, Allah subhanaw taala as making him look up, it's not about this individual anymore. But do you not love that Allah subhanaw taala forgive you. And so a question that is a healthy exercise for us to ask ourselves, whatever that injury is, whatever whoever that person is, that we feel has wronged us and has caused us so much harm. Ask yourself a simple question. If by forgiving this person, Allah Subhana Allah would forgive me, would I forgive them?
If by forgiving this person right now, Allah subhanaw taala would forgive me what I forgiven them. And Allah Subhana Allah to Allah says, Allah who love all right you Rahim Allah subhanaw taala is Forgiving and Merciful. To look up. So the first is to look through the act. Number two is to look above and to see Allah subhanho data. And number three is to look inwards, to look inwards. Allah subhana data says will not also become a mercy but Informatica says, AD, Allah says there is no calamity that befalls you. Except it is because of what your hands how for up? Well, yeah, for Uncas here, and Allah forgives much. And so every mistake, or every injury, or every harm, or every
insult, or every act of ignorance that comes my way.
I look through it. I look above it.
I look within me. And I recognize that for every mistake that's been done to me, I have made many, many, many, many more.
How many times do we get insulted in a year? How many times do we get harmed some of us more than others for sure. But compared to the mistakes that we make, compared to the the harm that we've created compared to the the obligations that we've squandered compared to the sins that we've committed Allah subhanaw taala says there is nothing
that occurs to you except that it is because of what your hands have wrought and Allah Subhana Allah forgives much, ie This is a fraction of what we have caused Valhalla facade, if you've already been my customer, alienness Allah subhanaw taala This is corruption as appeared in the land and in the sea, due to what people's hands have wrought, to give them a taste, to give them just a taste of what they have done not normally on your own, that they may return. And so a person when they're experiencing this,
a person looks inward and what that should then cause the with that should then propel is seeking forgiveness from Allah subhanaw taala repenting to Allah subhana wa Tada. I didn't ever thought about the ALLAH and he said, let a person not fear anything except for their sins. Let a person not fear anything other than their sins, he says
Lyle John Lyle, join Abdon Ihlara. While I haven't nabbed in November, he said Let no one hope and anyone other than their Lord, and let them not seek or fear anything except for their sense. We ask Allah Subhana Allah to allow us to hear the speech and follow the best of it. According Massimo Mustapha Allah you are looking for stuff we don't know for.
Him the loss of salatu salam ala Rasulillah. So these are three actions that a person can do to endure the harm of others, to exercise patience with regards to the harm of others. And I want to conclude with two more in a person if anyone would like to review this you can refer back to an essay by Stephanie Sammy Tamia called Chi, the facade a principle of patience, it's translated, and it's excellent. But number four, that to recognize that if a person endures, or if a person is always thinking about harm, that they've if a person is always looking at that, then that person will, you'll become occupied, you'll be busy. That's why even you know, we have this the statement
that we make that to hate somebody is to allow for them to live in your in your head rent free. You're the one who's thinking about revenge, you're the one who's thinking about their injury, that person has made that joke and they've long forgotten about it, everybody laughed, maybe even you laughed. Meanwhile, you're harboring all of this animosity toward this individual for two days or two weeks later, three weeks later, or a month later, two years later, and this person has long forgotten about it, and so forgiving and letting go and releasing. And the last thing that I mentioned number five, is that if a person has
response, to harm, forget mistaken harm, but even intended harm. If a person responds to it with goodness, and with forgiveness, and with forbearance, then many times, eventually, that person who is intending harm becomes someone who apologizes to you
As someone who turns themselves around someone who recognizes your good qualities, ALLAH SubhanA wa otitis as well as it still has no way to say it viability here ASAN, Allah subhanaw taala. He says
that the good and the bad are not evil, repel with that which is best
favored live lady Bina Covina, Hua Dawa, and the one between you and them is enmity and who will you and Hamid, they will turn into a warm protector.
That person who harmed you on day one or a year later or two years later. And these verses I can't help every time I think of us versus I actually think about a great figure in American history. And that is Muhammad Ali Rahim Allah, that this individual stripped of his title and all sorts of things hated at one point, he was the most hated individual. But when you look at his character, he was still charming and loving and all of these types of things. And so eventually, three years later, or four years later, however long it took, this man ended up becoming the most loved man in America. But Allah subhanaw taala he says, Well, my Utica Ileana Sabado. But the only people who experienced
that transformation of your friends be your enemies, becoming your friends or loving protectors or what have you are those who endure you have to endure? Well My Allah Allah to help them Alvin. And no one experiences this except for someone of incredible fortune, incredible favor. And so we ask Allah subhanaw taala to allow us to endure what harm comes our way and that Allah subhanaw taala makes whatever harm that comes our way pleasing to Him and in His path. And we ask Allah subhanaw taala to allow us to follow the speech, to hear to hear the speech and follow the best of it and that ALLAH SubhanA died to make the best of our actions or less actions and the best of our days the
day that we meet him. And we ask Allah Subhana Allah Allah for Paradise what will bring us to close with of actions and speech and to protect us from the Hellfire will bring us closer actions of speech? Allah Almighty and Fuson at UCLA has actually handled ailments aka Antonio Homolka La Ilaha illa Allah Subhana inocula MinnowBoard Amin La Ilaha illa Allah subhana kinako nominal body mean Allahumma in and so look at general Makabe they haven't called you know, I mean, I know they become in a narrow nightclub at home and call him Amell Allah Huma robbing him out of Danny so they come out of band and so they don't allow him or her I'm not gonna be goofy enough equally makan.
Allahu Munsell and misdemeanor mustafina movie and if you couldn't imagine a llama Macedonian a Philistine was a Muslim in Aloma Coloma in and you're McMullen Marine, now NASA and Yanaka NASA along the Shimano dynamotor Muslimeen what Hamilton omoton Mussolini and Salalah and so you know, Hamid Comilla Subotic Allah