Allie Goder – Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters #1

Allie Goder
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AI: Summary ©

The speaker discusses the importance of character in parenting relationships. They explain that a mother who is struggling to give her children proper Islam is a good example of a good parent. The speaker also discusses the importance of character in raising children and the joy of sharing a death certificate with a deceased parent.

AI: Summary ©

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			There are
		
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			there are 4
		
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			outcomes
		
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			in terms of the of the
		
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			various
		
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			relationships
		
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			of parenting,
		
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			parent to child, right.
		
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			2 are
		
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			almost expected outcomes and
		
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			2 are
		
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			what we may call,
		
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			the unexpected outcomes.
		
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			Right? The first two is,
		
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			number 1, if you have good parents,
		
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			pious parents
		
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			with good akhlaq raising their children in a
		
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			in a good way,
		
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			taught to us by Nabi Muhammad SAWS and
		
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			by Islam,
		
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			then it is
		
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			are neglectful,
		
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			not following Allah's command,
		
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			not displaying good character, then it is expected
		
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			that the child will pick up those habits
		
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			and also then become an adult who has
		
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			the same habits and characteristics.
		
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			But then you have
		
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			the opposite of that.
		
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			And why I'm saying this is because sometimes
		
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			we
		
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			we judge, we become judgmental
		
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			that when we see someone behaving in a
		
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			bad manner,
		
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			then we may be guilty of judging the
		
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			parents.
		
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			Whereas that is not always their fault. And
		
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			Allah gives us and this is why Allah
		
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			actually gives us these these situations and examples
		
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			from amongst
		
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			the Ambi'ali Musalat Wasallam.
		
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			Where Allah gives us the example of Nabi
		
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			Nuh and
		
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			his son turns out to be a kafir.
		
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			Or you need to accuse Nabi Nuh of
		
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			not being a good parent.
		
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			And then on the other side you have
		
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			Nabi Ibrahim alaihi wasallam
		
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			who turns out to be Khalilullah, the friend
		
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			of Allah, and his father is an idol
		
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			maker. SubhanAllah.
		
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			So just to
		
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			to lay down that as a foundation, you
		
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			know because sometimes we, and possibly,
		
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			not possibly,
		
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			surely I was guilty of that in the
		
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			past as well.
		
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			Where I would see
		
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			a mother in hijab
		
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			and next to her daughter in skinnies,
		
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			and I would judge the mother
		
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			saying how is this possible?
		
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			But we don't know. There's always
		
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			a there's always a background.
		
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			There's always a context.
		
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			We don't know how the mother is struggling.
		
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			And at the very least, the mother is
		
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			still holding on to her daughter, struggling to
		
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			to give her the proper Islam.
		
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			You understand? We don't know what the background
		
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			is, so we should never judge, Subhanahu wa.
		
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			I just need to lay down that as
		
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			a foundation.
		
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			So coming back to the question
		
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			of
		
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			the relationship between
		
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			Nabi Muhammad and Sibnah Fatima Radlana.
		
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			I think what is
		
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			what is the the
		
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			most
		
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			remarkable thing obviously is the character of Rasulullah
		
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			Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam.
		
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			And Sibna Fatima growing up in such a
		
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			household,
		
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			witnessing
		
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			from
		
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			grassroots age right up to adulthood,
		
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			witnessing
		
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			this perfect
		
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			immaculate character SubhanAllah.
		
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			How he
		
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			how he number 1st and foremost his devotion
		
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			to Allah.
		
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			So
		
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			when a young child witnesses
		
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			of the most important figure in her life
		
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			or figures mother and father, father especially in
		
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			this case,
		
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			having such devotion to Allah, what does that
		
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			do? It develops a tremendous amount of admiration
		
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			and respect
		
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			for that individual.
		
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			And then
		
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			she witnesses his interaction
		
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			with all and sundry,
		
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			his interaction with her mother,
		
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			with
		
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			everyone else, with with herself SubhanAllah.
		
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			So
		
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			what what comes out clearly here is that
		
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			character of the of the father
		
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			is of utmost importance when it comes to
		
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			raising all children
		
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			and of course in this case the daughter
		
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			SubhanAllah. And that is why we find so
		
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			much emphasis
		
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			on character.
		
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			Like Prophet himself said
		
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			So can you imagine what type of
		
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			of quality she imbibed just by watching her
		
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			father SubhanAllah?
		
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			And this in itself
		
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			it formed her.
		
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			It contributed to her development as a pious
		
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			young lady SubhanAllah.
		
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			And what stands out for me,
		
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			one incident that just stands out for me
		
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			was
		
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			when Nabi
		
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			Muhammad was was nearing his his death
		
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			and he calls Sayedna Fatima to his bedside
		
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			and he whispers something in her ear
		
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			which brought her to tears.
		
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			And then moments after that he whispered something
		
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			else in her ear
		
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			and
		
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			her whole demeanor changed and she smiled and
		
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			she was cheerful and bright. SubhanAllah.
		
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			And witnessing this was
		
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			Raduwaanha. And then she asked Fatima after that,
		
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			what did your father whisper
		
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			in your ear? The first time that caused
		
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			you to cry, and the second time that
		
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			caused you to to be so cheerful and
		
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			laugh again.
		
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			And so the first thing she said was,
		
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			her father told her
		
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			that he will soon believe in this dunya.
		
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			But obviously,
		
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			paraphrasing
		
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			or rephrasing.
		
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			And this obviously caused her to cry.
		
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			Losing
		
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			to be to to be, to depart or
		
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			be taken away from someone she loves so
		
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			dearly.
		
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			And then the next thing he whispered in
		
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			the ear was that
		
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			you will be the first to join me.
		
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			Now just think about this for a moment.
		
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			We love our parents,
		
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			right? And it's a sad experience to see
		
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			your mother or father pass away
		
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			but you know you want to join them
		
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			but not so soon.
		
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			Am I
		
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			right? But here look at the joy of
		
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			Sayidina Fatima
		
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			that she's being told basically
		
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			that she's going to die soon.
		
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			Nabi Salam telling her that you will be
		
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			the first
		
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			He's actually telling her that your death
		
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			is not far away. SubhanAllah.
		
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			What does this do? It makes us so
		
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			happy. SubhanAllah.
		
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			So this number 1,
		
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			it's
		
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			it's telling of the piety of Sayedna Fatima.
		
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			That
		
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			death is not
		
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			the more the more we grow in our
		
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			taqwa and piety
		
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			then death should not become something that is
		
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			feared but rather something that you could look
		
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			forward to. SubhanAllah. And this we know that
		
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			SubhanAllah.
		
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			This
		
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			I can say I've experienced a few times
		
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			where
		
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			you sit by the bedside of a dying
		
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			person and this dying person because of the
		
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			level of piety they are so looking forward
		
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			to it. SubhanAllah.
		
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			And
		
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			then, obviously it speaks and and of the
		
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			love of Said Na'isha
		
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			for Nabi Muhammad Sallahu Alaihi Wasallam. That how
		
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			happy she is that she's going to be
		
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			reunited with her father in Aqirah again. SubhanAllah.