Ali Ataie – Muslim Youth Halaqa Navigating Challenges in Public School
AI: Summary ©
The speakers emphasize the importance of avoiding social media engagement and creating mentors for children. They advise parents to limit engagement in social media and create mentors for children. The speakers emphasize the importance of educating children on their religious views and protecting their privacy, and bringing people to events to educate them on Islam. They stress the importance of being open-minded and cautioning parents in community engagement and finding a Muslim club in high school.
AI: Summary ©
What should we talk about?
So
what are some,
I wanna actually interact with some of the
youth at this point. I don't really wanna
give a speech.
I did that yesterday.
I'm kind of bored of that.
So,
what are some of the issues that you
all as youth are experiencing
in school? I assume many of you go
to public school.
Yes, sister with the pink hijab.
Yeah.
That's that's, thank you for your comment. She
made a comment that many of her many
of the people at her school, they think
she's very dumb.
Right? Because a lot of children, unfortunately
you know children, they're not fully developed intellectually,
right? You'll notice, you when you get to
college
people start thinking very differently because people,
you know, they can think for themselves.
So that's, thank you for your comment, that's
something that happened to me actually when I
was in elementary school as well.
And at that time, I didn't even identify
as Muslim. If you asked me in 6th
grade, are you Muslim? I would say, no,
I'm not.
Right? I didn't want anything to do with
Islam when I was that old.
It is kind of because,
not only was there no Islamic practice in
my home, but everything I knew about Islam
was just through television.
So watching TV, and oh my goodness, you
know, this is what they're saying.
Well, I don't want to be that. So
a lot of these children that are that
are saying that to you, is just from
a a standpoint of being very ignorant.
Now if you feel like you're being bullied,
you should always tell a teacher and don't
be afraid of doing that.
Right? Tell tell a teacher, say they're calling
me names,
because schools should really have zero tolerance for
that type of thing. And then also, are
there other Muslims in your class?
That's good.
Yeah. That's good. You know, be with the
Muslim students. And also, you know, you can
ask someone who says you're stupid or you're
dumb. So why why do you say that?
Give me an example of my stupidity.
You know? And you can even show your
report card and say, look, I have all
a's.
How am I stupid?
Because there's really no there's no basis for
what they're
saying, right? So I remember when I was
in,
5th grade,
this,
and my school was all non Muslim,
and everyone was caucasian. They were all white,
except my sister and I. So
this, student, non Muslim, and many people they're
very religious Christians, so one religious, very religious
Christian,
he came to me and he said,
are you Muslim?
And I said,
no.
And he said, but your name is you
have a Muslim name.
I said, oh man,
how did you know that?
So I said, No, I converted.
To what? To Mormonism. It was the first
religion that popped into my head.
I said I was a Mormon,
and then he said, really? And then he
went and he asked,
the another student, a female student, who was
sort of the,
I don't know, sort of the student pastor,
the most religious student in our class,
and I heard him ask her,
is someone allowed to change religions?
And I was thinking the whole time, oh,
my god. Please say yes.
She said, yes. Of course. And I said,
oh, thank god.
So from that point on, I was known
as the Mormon.
Alright.
How cute. How cute.
Yeah. I know.
So I didn't actually start calling myself Muslim
until I was about 15,
and it was because,
I,
came across someone named Malcolm X.
I read his book, he wrote an autobiography.
He died in 1965.
So he was he died long before I
was born.
But I read his autobiography and he was,
you know,
he was African American who converted to Islam.
To he went to Mecca. He made the
Hajj.
And I was very impressed with his story.
So 15 or so, I started calling myself
a Muslim. I didn't actually start practi And
I didn't have any resources, so I didn't
have any Muslim friends.
That's the that's the key I think. Just
be around Muslims.
You know, almaru aladeeli hadili. There's a hadith
of the prophet where
he says a person is upon the religion
of his friends.
Right? The person is upon the religion of
his friends.
So and then, you know, so be careful
who you befriend.
So obviously be friendly to everyone.
Friendly to everyone. Right?
Even people that
are not so friendly to us, we should
show them friendliness.
You don't have to make them your best
friend,
but you should be kind. You You know,
that's the sunnah. That's the way the prophet
used to interact with people. When people would
be harsh with him, he would show them
kindness.
Right? But it doesn't necessarily mean you'd hang
around with them.
Right? Hang around with good people, with believers,
so you have sort of
an inner circle of very close friends that
should be Muslim.
You know, people that
that that pray, people that read Quran, people
that believe in what you believe so you
can learn from each other, you strengthen each
other mutually.
You know?
So,
it's very very important that when we're in
these public schools, and you know, I obviously
have experience in this, is to seek out
these Muslims. Right?
And
and, you know, if people are making
baseless claims that are name calling then you
can engage with them. And one of the
things that I don't suggest doing is sort
of just cowering away, being afraid,
and hiding it, and not telling anyone. Because
if you show fear,
oftentimes children will also encourage children to keep
doing it.
Like, I can get away with this. Right?
I have power over this person. So the
next day they'll say something even even more
crazy.
But if you say and if you, you
know, challenge them initially and say why are
you calling me stupid? What's stupid about
me? Right? They'll be like, what? I don't
know. Because you're Muslim.
Say, what's stupid about Islam? And they won't
have an answer. They don't know anything.
I mean it's it's amazing.
I mean people don't know anything.
I used to teach classes at the graduate
school level. I used to teach
Christians that were doing masters of divinity degrees,
and they have to take a class on
Islam.
You know, so these are gonna be Christian
scholars,
and,
a room full of Christians,
and I would say,
I say, who who knows what the Kaaba
is? And nobody would raise their hand. Not
one person. They're what? Kaaba?
What's that?
So I say, you know that black cube?
And about half the people go, oh, yeah.
I know what that is.
And I say, you know who built that?
Nobody raises their hand.
K. Cool. I said, you know,
Abraham, he he raised the foundations. I say,
oh, really? I mean, it's something so basic.
It's so basic.
Right?
But, you know, graduate students don't know that.
And so imagine, you know, children, 5th, 6th,
7th grade, they don't really know anything.
You know, they're just sort of,
repeating what they sort of hear on television.
So if we take an intellectual stance
and say, well, you know, prove it to
me
that Islam is stupid or I'm stupid, they
won't know how to say anything. That will
discourage them from actually talking to you again
because they don't want to look foolish
and not have an answer.
You know, I also encourage students, you know,
when you get home from school do something
fun,
you know,
don't have, you know, Facebook accounts
at this age.
When when I when I get bullied when
I used to get bullied in school, I
would come home and it was a really
safe
space for me. Right?
And you know, that's when the bullying stopped
and I would go and I was a
soccer player, I play football, I do martial
arts, I hang out with my dad, you
know, watch a watch a sports game or
something. But nowadays,
you know, students that engage in social media,
they go home and they, you know, get
on their Facebook, and they're still being picked
on. So it's a 24 hour cycle,
and, you know, that's too much for children,
to to bear, and when I say children
I mean even in high school.
I wouldn't get a Facebook account until I
was in college.
I didn't get an iPhone
until I was 39 years old, which I
just got it, by the way. I had
a flip phone
until a couple of years ago, then I
got somewhat of a hybrid kind of smartphone
type of thing, but I never used it
for Internet or anything like that. So it's
really the first time in my life I'm
using my phone for Internet
at 39 years old.
Because you don't really don't need that. You
you could have you have your email account
and just, you know, you can use it
from a computer.
So I think limiting
engagement in social media
for youth is extremely important.
You know,
Oftentimes what happens again is, you know, the
child will come home from a rough day
at school, people calling him stupid and things
like that because he's Muslim.
And then they'll throw on Facebook, oh, they're
they're still making fun of so they get
into this type of type of depression.
So that's that's
that's important.
And also, you know, sort of a message
to parents as well
is that,
your your child should feel,
very comfortable coming to you with issues.
I can't tell you how many youth have
come to me, and these are usually in
high school, that come to me and tell
me things
that
should be
reported to schools
and possibly even be
pursued
by authorities,
things that are happening to them in school.
I say, well, did you tell your father?
And he says, no, my dad will kill
me. I say, well, it's not your fault.
I said, yeah, but my dad, you know,
he do he, you know, he doesn't like
any type of conflict. I mean, there was
a student who said that he literally has
to ditch a class
every day, I think it was his math
class, so he hasn't gone to his math
class in weeks
because there's a certain student there who physically
attacks him
in in class.
So he said, I'm failing that class now.
So did you tell your father, no no
no, you know, he he won't even care
that I'm getting attacked. He just cares
my grades, you know. So, so children have
to feel comfortable with their parents,
And, you know, you should also think about
maybe
having some sort of mentor for your children,
someone who's not exactly
as old as you are. Right? So they're
not, you know, they're not an uncle.
They're kind of they're not a
they're not a child, but they're sort of
in the middle. Right? So a mentor
a few years older than your than your
child that they can speak to, they they
can be more comfortable with. So,
having a youth halacha,
you know, a youth halacha will bring in
dynamic speakers,
you know, people that know how to speak
to youth,
so that in the halukkah, you know, they
the children have this outlet to voice their
opinions about certain things. We used to have
a youth holocaust years ago,
and,
you know, 200 people were coming to the
masjid, and they'd ask me questions they would
never ask their parents,
you know. And that was good, you know.
That's that's something that they needed. Like, you
know, kids coming up to me and say,
can I get a tattoo?
So no. You can't do that. Oh, okay.
Thank God I asked you because I almost
did it, and I was gonna hide it
from my father.
So have a youth halloween. Give give children
give children the ability to be in contact
with with people that are closer to their
age and understand the society. And oftentimes, as
parents, you know, we come from different countries.
We don't really understand. We might think we
do, but we really don't understand what's happening
in the society,
especially in public school because we didn't go
to public school. I went to public school.
So I understand what's happening.
So I would say that's very important. Limit
social media as much as possible until you
get to college.
You don't need an iPhone.
You know? Have a phone if you're in
high school, you know, in case there's an
emergency or something like that. You don't need
Internet on your phone until you're in college.
And this is for our own good, I
think.
There was another hand up here somewhere.
Hassan. Who is it? Hassan.
Yeah. You have a issue?
Yes, sir. Some people,
mock my name.
What's your name? Mohammed.
Oh, subhanallah.
You know what you can say?
You can say my name is the most
popular name in the world,
and it's true.
The name Mohammed is the most popular name
in the world.
So you say, why are you walking walking
my name? It's the most popular name,
and they won't know what to say. And
that's that's a trick. The name Mohammed is
the most popular name in England.
Yeah.
Allah says, warafa'ana laka dikraq.
Allah says to the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam,
when he was the only Muhammad on the
planet,
Allah says to him, we have we have
elevated your dhikr, your remembrance.
So one of the meanings of that
is that,
is that this name will be the most
popular name in the world. It's a prophecy,
so that that actually happened.
So what you don't wanna do is mock
other people's names.
Just give them an answer, like, it's the
most popular name in the world. You didn't
know that.
Right?
But if you if you mock their names,
and that's what we can't do, so we
can't return an evil for an evil.
Right? So if somebody insults you, then you
can't insult them, but you can stand up
for yourself.
So the answer isn't to sort of go,
oh, ah.
That's not the answer. And the answer isn't
also, what's your name, Brad?
That sounds
like rad or something.
So that's not the answer either. The answer
is to take take a stance but make
it intellectual.
So why are you making fun of my
name? It's the most popular name in the
world. There are more people with my name
than your name. So you should really learn
what my name means.
Yes, sir. Hassan?
This is not really my problem, but there's
a lot of people in my school who,
like, would click. I don't wanna feel incoherent,
but they get sexually abused.
Really?
By who? Like, like, their own
their own friends
because they, like, you know, peer pressuring them
to do, like, drugs and stuff. They get
sexually abused? They're not sexually
abused,
They're like, such the encounter. This is bad
at all. I don't know what Maybe harassed?
They get harassed? Harassed. Like the girls are
getting harassed? Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. If you see something like that, you
should always tell a school administrator.
Even if you think, oh, that's okay.
If there's even a
an inkling, a little thought in your mind
that this is inappropriate,
you should tell someone about that because oftentimes
girls in schools,
things like that happen
and, you know, the girl doesn't want to
sort of,
embarrass herself, I guess, and tell someone about
that. She'll let things slide, but really that
should be cut off immediately,
you know, so tell a school administrator if
you see something like that.
And that's unfortunate,
you know? And then, you know, if you
see someone if that if that's happening to
someone, whether they're a boy or a girl,
you know, speak to them and say, you
know, I saw what happened, and I think
we should we should tell a teacher or
administrator about that.
So don't be afraid to engage with teachers
and administrators.
They're there to help you. You know, sometimes
we think, oh, they're mean and things like
that, but really, they're there to help us.
Yes? I once got told at school that
Muslim I that, like, these kids, that I
hate I hate I hate Muslims, and the
Muslims were bad.
Yeah. So say, why do you hate people?
Hatred is bad.
Right? I said that I asked him that
and he said that because he was a
Trump supporter and that,
that his whole church was Trump. You could
say there are Muslims who support Trump.
What do you say about that? Hey. There
are Muslims who voted for Trump.
That's true. There are? Yeah. Of course.
You know what's interesting is a lot of
the
I don't even know if I can explain
this.
Muslims politically actually lean more to the right
towards conservatism
than the left.
If you look at some of our issues
with, like, marriage and abortion and things like
that,
that's more right leaning.
Right?
You know, Trump didn't didn't wanna go to
war in Iraq. I totally agree with him.
So this idea that, you know, I
we support Trump,
therefore we are the
the antithesis
of everything Islamic is just a false narrative.
You You know, you can say that. You
can say, what about Muslims who voted for
Trump?
You know,
so and then also remind people it's, you
know, hating
hating people.
You know, if they're Christian, you can remind
them
that, you know, it's very un it's very
unchristian behavior to hate people. So you're really
not following
the example set down by Jesus Christ,
you know. And if you say something like
that, he's gonna be sort of
taken aback by it.
But,
just remind people that,
you know, hating people is is not a
good state of mind to be in. And
you can actually tell that person, you know,
I feel bad for you that you hate,
and let me pray for you.
And that's gonna sort of resonate with them,
I think.
Yes?
So,
actually,
last week, I found out a girl was
smuggling alcohol
into the school, and I called on her
and got expelled.
But then the next day, a bunch of
people were telling me, no. That's wrong. Why
would you do that? You bully me.
Me. Even though I was doing the right
thing and what she was doing was clearly
illegal. Yeah.
Yeah. So you're I agree with you. You
were doing the right thing,
so don't worry about what people say to
you after that
because you did the right thing. Obviously,
whatever
you can do you can feed a 1000000
homeless people and there's always going to be
someone that's going to say, well I don't
think you did the right thing. There's always
going to be critics,
and that's what we have to understand.
You can do your best
and try to please everyone, but you'll never
please everyone. So the most important thing for
us is to have a good intention and
try to please God. That's it. And if
we if we try to please God, we
might please a few people, we might not,
but that's not our concern.
Right? So if you see something wrong, you
did the right thing, so don't worry about
how people criticize you, because that is absolutely
illegal. And you might have saved someone's life.
You know, people young children drinking alcohol.
There's alcohol poisoning,
you know, they might, you know, do something
stupid and and fall or get behind the
wheel of a car and get into a
car accident. So definitely you did the right
thing, so don't worry about people that criticize
after that point.
Yes, sir.
There are multiple instances instances.
There have been multiple times in schools where
people call me a school shooter. And whenever
I say something
that was
not against the left, like, something
for liberalism,
They always keep on booing me
in schools
when I was supposed to do that. So
So they expect you to speak out against
the left?
Yeah. A lot of them do.
Okay. Well, the whole issue of the school
shooter,
You can remind them of history.
Do you know do you know about the
Columbine shooting?
Yes. Yeah. Just remind them. So, you know,
the Columbine shooters is probably the most
famous school shooting other than the Sandy Hook
massacre.
Neither one of those there were 3 shooters
total. They were not Muslim.
You know, so ask them like, what do
you mean that I'm a school shooter?
Because you know and you have to learn
these names Adam Lanza, Dylan Klebold, Eric Harris.
Those are the names of the shooters.
I memorized them. You should memorize them. So
when you name drop like that, you say,
oh, this guy he knows his stuff. He's
serious. I better shut my mouth.
Because he's coming to me with facts,
right? And I'm just insulting him. So often
times kids will back off if they hear
that,
and if they don't back off just keep
repeating the same line.
So have you heard of Adam Lanza?
Dylan Klebold?
Eric Harris?
No. Have you heard of,
what was the the Oak Creek Wisconsin shooter?
Now I'm blanking on his name.
You should learn these names. I'm forgetting some
of the names right now.
And so, you know, none of these shooters
were Muslim.
You know,
Wade Michael Page.
Wade Michael Page was
a Christian. He was in the Aryan Nation,
which is a terrorist organization. It's a Christian
terrorist organization
in America,
but according to the FBI.
Called the Aryan Nation.
He went into a,
Go to Warat temple, a Sikh temple, thinking
they were Muslims,
and he opened fire. He killed 6 people.
Right?
And,
it's interesting people justified what he did. Oh
he thought they were Muslim.
That doesn't justify murder.
So you should know these names. Wade Page,
Wade Page, it's 2 syllables.
Just let people hear these names,
you know, and these are not Muslims.
You have
more, there's more there's more of a chance
for you to be killed
by slipping in the bathtub,
than than being killed by a Muslim terrorist
in America. This is absolutely true. There's more
of a chance of you slipping in the
bathtub, hitting your head, and dying
than being shot by a Muslim in America.
It's absolutely true. There's more chance of you
being killed by the police
than being killed by an American
Muslim terrorist.
And that's not a slight against the police,
you know, that's just a fact.
The what?
Your own clothes killed you more often. Your
own clothes. Yeah. There's more chance of you
there's more chance of being shot by a
toddler.
Children, they find their parents' guns every so
often, and they shoot and they kill, like,
kill their siblings or kill their mother. There's
more of a chance of that happening than
you being killed by a Muslim in America.
These are just the facts. So people you
have to put things in perspective for people.
Right? So you have to you have to
think. You have to be intellectual.
Don't be swayed by emotion.
Oftentimes,
you know, people who pick on you, they
wanna get an emotional response out of you.
So say you're a terrorist because your name's
Mohammed,
and then you say, shut up. They say,
see, see, you crazy, you're crazy.
So engage with them intellectually. There's no answer
from them. I guarantee you.
There's no answer. And if there is an
answer, they'll they'll notice
that, oh, he's he's willing to engage intellectually.
So he'll take the discourse at a at
a higher level.
Yes? What is the reason why people
think Muslims are bad?
Well, that's the perception that the the media
is projecting.
You know? So, America invaded Muslim countries in
the past,
under false pretense.
Right? So in 2003 Iraq was invaded because
we were told that they had weapons of
mass destruction.
So sort of a,
preemptive strike, but it turns out there were
no weapons.
But the war continues.
So the war isn't really for weapons of
mass destruction. There's other things happening there. So
that this is this is something a lot
of Americans find very disturbing.
Like, why are we invading these countries?
So in order to justify
these,
illegal wars, these unjust wars,
a lot of propaganda is pumped through the
media to brainwash people into thinking, well, you
know, these Muslims are bad people.
Muslims are bad. And so, well, it's no.
It's radical Islam. Radical Muslims are bad, and
they are bad. But a lot of times
people don't they can't differentiate, especially children.
Radical Islam, just regular Muslims.
I mean, I get questions from college students.
College students, you know, is there a difference
between ISIS and the rest of the Muslims?
Well, of course.
How why would you think there isn't? Right?
But they can't differentiate.
So what's coming from the media? You know,
what's coming
from,
like,
news channels and things like that, what they're
reporting,
a lot of it is sort
of aggrandized. It's made bigger than it is.
For example, this instance instance here where a
child literally believes that a Muslim,
is very likely to come into a school
and start shooting people.
It's so unbelievably
unlikely.
We shouldn't even have to worry about it
even that much. But that's what his perception
is because he's listening to the news.
Because the news again
is trying to justify
American foreign policy,
and it's okay for us to criticize.
You know, Thomas Jefferson?
Thomas Jefferson said,
he said, dissent is the greatest form of
patriotism.
Dissent means disagreement.
And he's talking about with the government.
Right?
Dissent is the greatest form of patriotism.
So we're allowed to criticize.
That doesn't make you un American.
In fact, you know, if you really love
something
if you really love someone
and they're hurting themselves, you're not you're not
gonna just go ahead and let them hurt
themselves.
You're gonna try to give that person advice
because you love them. You want to fix
them. You want to correct them. Maybe they
take advice, maybe they don't. The point is
we have to engage
in an academic
civil way. Not by name
calling. Right? Not by losing our tempers,
not by
any type of violence whatsoever.
To the prophet in Mecca is very important.
So our situation is kinda like the Muslims
in Mecca.
Right? We're a minority in a non Muslim
land,
but this is our country as well. So
don't forget that. We are as American as
anybody else.
America is a land of immigrants.
Everyone came from somewhere unless you're Native American,
right?
With the prophet in Mecca,
his,
his stance was,
what's known as assertive
non violence.
So you should remember these terms, assertive nonviolence.
This is a term that Martin Luther King
used to use.
Assertive nonviolence is different than passive nonviolence.
Passive
nonviolence means I'm a doormat and you can
step all over me
and spit on me, and I'm just gonna
go cower in the corner and cry.
So that's that's not a good state. The
prophet said a Muslim
is never humiliated but is always humble.
So the difference between being humiliated and being
humble.
Right?
So assertive nonviolence is you don't you're not
violent at all. No violence whatsoever.
But
you are a principled person. You have principles.
Right? You believe in God. You believe in
the prophets of the law,
you're not afraid of praying.
You don't care if people criticize you, because
you have principles.
You don't hurt people's feelings.
Right? But you have you take a stance
because you're a principled person. You know, a
man for a man who stands for nothing
will fall for anything. That's what Malcolm X
said.
So you're not violent,
but you have principles, and you can and
you want to share those principles with people
because we want to engage with people intellectually.
Right? So that's what we have to do.
A lot of non Muslims, they're getting their
information about Islam
from these mainstream media outlets.
So they're being told what is jihad?
Oh jihad is war against infidels, holy war
against infidels.
No, it's that's not what it is. We
have our own definitions,
you know. So
when people define our terms,
then they will control discourse.
When they control discourse, they'll tell our narrative.
And if they tell our our narrative,
then they're the ones that are educating people
or miseducating.
So we have to we have to we
have to define our own terms. We have
to take our discourse where we want it
to go.
Right?
So that's that's very important as well. A
lot of people last night they told me,
I talked to several non muslims last night,
and they said, you know we weren't even
sure you spoke English.
I mean that's just a perception,
I don't really blame them.
Or they said, we expected you to go
up there and be like, okay hello,
today,
yeah, also we're good to do You know,
they had this big accent and
so wait. You could speak English so well.
So, yeah. I was raised in America.
Oh, really? Okay.
A lot of people thought I was gonna
go up there and just bad mouth
America. So they were very defensive. I can
see their faces, but
and then I say something and go, oh,
okay. And then they go,
oh, alright. And then they go,
oh, what's going on?
Yes?
What's the focus is great when you're in
PE playing volleyball? There's this really
jerky kid named Jack. I hated his guts
that
Jack Humphrey. Yeah. Yeah. Joke. We well, literally,
when we were in the middle of volleyball,
he literally called me a terrorist, which which
got me so mad. I told the teacher
how to That's good. They didn't do anything
about it. Then tell somebody else. If if
your teacher doesn't do something about it, tell
another teacher. And if they don't do something
about it, tell someone else. And then go
to the vice principal, and then go to
the principal. All they did was just tell
them don't do it again. But he just
kicked on bad mouth. And you have to
keep telling on him. Keep telling on him
till something's done.
And you can actually go home to your
parents, don't be afraid to talk to your
parents, And We just made a carrier his
name, which is Meredith, do we stop calling
you names?
Yeah. I'm joking. I'm not I'm not even
gonna say it. Yeah. I know. You don't
have to say it. I think I know
what it is.
But,
yeah. I wouldn't I wouldn't actually recommend doing
that
because, you know, because
it's a breach of our ethics,
you know, so don't insult people
even if they insult you, but stand up
for yourself.
Tell your parents, this person is calling me
a terrorist, and school administrators are doing nothing
about it. And then your parents can go
and demand
to have a meeting with the parents of
that child. And you'll be there, and he'll
be there too. And you can demand from
him. I want you to apologize to me
right now
in front of his parents. And oftentimes, that
bully will go,
I'm sorry.
And that's the end of it.
Yes.
Yes. Something that happens to me is that
a kid who sometimes pushes me around the
locker area Mhmm. And,
there's some records he it was, maybe I
don't know, maybe a year ago when he
started
cursing
and
saying that you were doing stuff. To you?
Well, no. We just said it, like, right
on the edge. Yeah. Well, if you're being
pushed again, if anyone's putting their hands on
you, you have to tell a school administrator.
Yeah. I did, but then
the teacher,
was,
like, okay. Next time it happens, call me
again.
And the other thing from Haiti is gonna
be Hitler.
A different what? Hitler.
Hitler? He's the Hitler. Oh, he called you
Hitler?
You Hitler?
Oh, yeah. Hitler. Yeah. You killed you just
knocked out. Yeah.
Yeah. So a good response to that is,
oh, I'm not a Catholic. You know, because
Hitler was a Catholic. But,
you know, if you just hear things, you
know, we have to also learn how to
just kinda tune things out as well. Yeah.
That's what You know. And like, some days
he like,
like the same Katie called the same person
who called me Edward,
and he like sometimes
purses like like he once asked him, he
said
the f word out loud in class, but
he didn't but like, he said he was
freaking and he called me, like, hit me,
like, right in the arm and called me
an idiot.
And he and the same the same kid
he called my friend in
and then and then immediately go home and
tell your parents. Because if a child puts
his hands on you, he can be kicked
out of school. He should be kicked out
of school.
You know?
So we have to make an example out
of students sometimes. Someone who do who does
that,
we have to make an example out of
him. So if he's kicked out, other students
will see, oh, you got kicked out of
school for abusing another child. They'll think twice
about doing that as well. So we we
we can't let physical violence go.
Don't let that go. You know? I'm not
saying hit back ever, But unless you have
to, unless, you know, people are holding you
down, they're punching you, you have to defend
yourself. But if it was a pick taking
a punch just kind of to annoy you
or bully you, you have to tell an
administrator, then go tell your parents, and your
parents should demand a meeting with the principal
and the parents of that child.
Right? And demand if that doesn't happen that
the child be kicked out of school because
that cannot happen.
That cannot happen. It's against the law. They
should have to leave the school. But if
you hear, like, people, you know, cussing and
things like that, you're gonna hear a lot
of this, especially in high school. Just don't
even just ignore it completely. There's a term
called taghafwal in Arabic. The prophet says, he
would practice taghafwal.
Like, you know, just random noise happening.
He would just pretend, you know, whatever. Just
just do what you do what you're doing.
Don't necessarily dwell on what everyone is saying.
Islam out of it and I talk to
them as,
this is general voice me boys and we
need to represent that. Yeah. That's also true.
Yeah. So I think we need to have
that consciousness, because I think a lot of
people,
in general, from our background,
friend just the other day Uh-huh. On on
Friday night, they were at a school party.
I was there. My friend was there. Yeah.
And kids
from our background,
we just tend to attribute everything Yeah. To
us to racism. It's a cop out. Yeah.
No. I agree with you. And and I
think we we need to educate our our
children.
Yes. And the way we talk to them,
let's let's address the issue and keep the
racism out of the Exactly.
And Unless something is explicitly racist. Exactly. Yeah.
Somebody explicitly
say Right. How they call your religion
Good. But other things that are happening is
just kids being kids. It's yeah. And oftentimes,
boys are penalized for being boys. You're absolutely
right. Boys are rambunctious, and they they tend
to bond by sort of slapping each other
around. That's true. So thanks. So that's a
very good point. And that's, I know this
is true because my my kids go to
an all Muslim school,
and this happens amongst the boys. So obviously
that's not racism.
Because everyone's Muslim,
and many of them are from the same
ethnic background.
So it is it is so get down
to the the the,
the specific incident. Why is it happening? If
someone's calling you a terrorist and then hitting
you, well, that's something very different than, you
know, just sort of, you know, boys sort
of,
you know, slapping each other around because they're
boys. I totally agree with you,
and, very good point. Thank you very much.
And that, we have to
be,
not so quick in, you know, drawing the
race card all the time. That's a very
good point.
Yeah.
Yes, sister. Yes.
You have a friend who picks on your
other friend?
Are they Muslims or no?
Yeah. Just
Just remind people to be kind.
You know, just say, you know that's not
very nice. Give people advice.
You know
sometimes again, you know children, most people here
are children.
Often times they, you know, they all lack
discipline sometimes.
There's an impulse control problem. So sometimes a
child will do something, but they don't really
mean harm by it.
You know, it's just something that occurred to
them so they're going to do it.
I have I have a daughter like that.
You know, who will just who will just
see something and and go for it. Say
what are you doing? Oh, I I didn't
mean anything. So just remind them.
And if it's getting worse, you know,
you have to just keep reminding them and
sit down maybe just have a more serious
conversation with them. Like, you know, this is
hurting this person and
so, you know, you'll be surprised how far
a, you know, just a good conversation will
go. Communication is
very important. People don't communicate anymore
for some reason,
you know. Maybe it's because we live in
an age and it's not, you know, obviously
to do with you, but
this generation in general, the older generation, you
don't tend to communicate face to face
because the technology is sort of
limiting our face to face experiences.
So people are very bold on the computer,
they like to text, they don't even eat
dinner together anymore.
I mean, there are there are parents who
don't who don't see their children the whole
day, not even for dinner.
You know, when I was a kid, we're
outside playing
until a month of time, basically.
But when we came home for dinner, we
all had to sit at the table, you
turn off the TV,
my parents would ask me questions about my
day, and I couldn't be like they if
they're like, how's school?
How
was
it? Great. What did you do? Nothing.
That wouldn't fly for me.
My dad would be like, no. What do
you mean nothing? What did you do?
And then he'd sort of get into a
conversation.
So sitting down and just, you know, having
conversations with people,
you know.
Yes?
How do Christians hate Muslims?
No, they don't hate hate they don't hate
that's a stereotype.
So that's that's not true. It's like saying
it's like saying why do Muslims hate Why
are Muslims,
terrorists? Why do Muslims hate America so much?
It's just not true.
My experience is the vast majority of Christians
are beautiful loving people.
The vast we're under 99.9%.
I've met a lot of Christians, you can
imagine.
I've been to hundreds of churches.
I
did my master's degree in the bible, biblical
studies.
I met Christian,
professors and academics.
I'd say maybe in my entire life,
I've come across 1, 2, or 3 hostile
Christians.
1, 2, or 3 of them that were
hostile.
That's about it.
You know, the vast, vast majority.
So,
the question itself to me is is problematic.
If your question is why do some Christians
hate Muslims? And that's true. There are some
that hate, Muslims. And I think it's because
again they've been,
for lack of a better term, they've been
brainwashed into thinking
that Islam and Christianity
are incompatible.
Right? So there's a lot of churches in
California
that that have a section,
Islam
in Sunday school.
So the children there have to learn about
Islam.
And most of the time the person who's
teaching them is doing a good job.
You know, they do their research, they even
sometimes they bring in a Muslim speaker or
sort of a junior pastor
who speaks with Muslims and and get sources
from Muslims and they teach them the best
they can. Once in a while, you have
someone who does a terrible job.
Right,
and gives them false information. And these are
children so they don't know, I mean, what
are they gonna say? There's an older person
telling me these things, why should I not
believe them?
Maybe it is true. So a lot of
the children, unfortunately,
they're being sort of brainwashed by adults who
don't have sound knowledge.
You know?
Yes.
Yeah. You.
Yeah. Yeah. That I had that experience too.
I had teachers that were totally racist.
Like my 6th grade teacher was so racist.
She was actually one time she actually pulled
me by the ear, and
and I had a teacher one time in
2nd grade.
I was at when I was in 2nd
grade, we used to sit at these big
tables.
Right?
And so there's others there are other students
there. And there was a German student next
to me, and this German guy
a student next to me, he drew this
funny picture and he said, look, this is
a bunch of Hebrews.
He used the word Hebrews,
and I just thought the word was it
sounded funny, Hebrew.
So I drew the same picture and I
said these are Hebrews,
but the teacher looked at our pictures and
said, you have to stay after class to
me.
Right? And I go, okay. Why? I didn't
know what a Hebrew was. I just thought
the word sounded funny.
Like,
what's a funny sounding word?
Monkey.
You know, something else. Monkey.
Chocobar.
Bamboozle. Yes. Yes. Like I said, bamboozle. I
go around bamboozle bamboozle. So Hebrew Hebrew. Anyway,
so the teacher said she she took me
after class and she said, I know you're
Iranian
and your parents are telling you to hate
Jews,
but don't bring it into my class.
And I started crying. I was I was
6 years old.
Because I was just so afraid that because
the tone of the teacher was scary. I
had no idea what she was talking about.
And then I went home and I had
this Macmillan dictionary
descendant of Judah. And I said, who's Judah?
Forget it.
I didn't even know what she was talking
about. So there are racist teachers, that's absolutely
true.
So if you feel like your teacher is
being racist,
you know, you should talk to your parents.
Have a very open line of communication with
your parents. Don't be afraid of your parents.
Your parents only want good for you,
I promise you that. Your parents are never
trying to hurt you.
You know, you know, if you know my
mom's trying to hurt me because she won't
let me, you know, have 4 cookies.
Well, that's if you have more if you
have a lot of cookies,
you're gonna have a lot of sugar, and
you're gonna get a lot of weight. You're
gonna be all crazy. So that's good for
you. Maybe we don't see how that's good
for us, but it is good for us.
Right? Our parents only want good. So sometimes
we have to just trust our
parents. Right?
Because they're our parents.
So let your parents know if something like
that happens. If you feel like a teacher
is sliding you or is not is not
paying attention to you and you feel like
there might be racism there, you know, then
your parents will talk to the teacher and
get down to the bottom of it. Sometimes
maybe, hopefully, it's nothing. It's just, you know,
teachers say, oh, I'm sorry. I know I'm
just I was busy or I was, you
know, depressed or something. I was thinking about
my laundry or something like that.
Whatever it was. Yes?
So you know what you can do? You
can you can tell them about your religion.
Just just tell them. You don't have to
have this big, like, speech in class or
something,
but just informally
you can just you can just tell them,
you know, why why I believe this. This
is what it is. It's very similar.
You you could say, you know, I believe
in Jesus. I love Jesus.
I have actually a t shirt that says,
like all Muslims,
I love Jesus.
And I wear I wear this shirt in
public sometimes.
And you'll be amazed the response I get
from people. The people who do like a
triple take. You know what a triple take
is? Oh. It's like a eagle, I guess.
Like
triple. Like like woah. And then people come
up to me, is this a joke? That's
what they say sometimes. Are you mocking Jesus?
What do you mean? You're a Muslim, obviously
this is a joke. No, I love Jesus.
What do you mean? Well, he's a prophet
in Islam. Oh, he is?
Wow.
That's so cool, man!
I know, but I So talk to people
about and maybe even bring them to the
masjid. Show them the masjid. If there's an
event at the masjid,
you know, where there's a, you you know,
a younger speaker who's dynamic and, you know.
Bring them. Don't be afraid to invite people.
Yes sir. He's had his hand up for
a long time and he's
What's your name? Which
Tarek. Go ahead, Tarek.
There was a teacher
in my school.
It's not my teacher, but there was a
teacher
who,
like,
I don't know what grade, but
she used to, like, hit
kids,
with the Right. That sounds weird? That's abuse.
Right.
And you're in the public school? She's looking
yeah. In the public school.
Really? She's not there. Yeah. She's not there
anymore?
Yeah. No. That's probably why she's not there.
That's probably why
yeah. That's not a good idea to do
that.
Yeah.
Yeah. So she's gone, so that's okay. You
know, it's good that they got rid of
her. I'm glad. Yes.
Yes, sir.
So what will we do if racism grows
now that we have, you know, a racist
president?
Mhmm. Oh, God. That's so true. Well,
whether whether he's racist or not
is
open to debate.
I would I would be very
reluctant to label someone a racist,
you know, unless there's something just very explicitly
coming.
Very something very explicitly racist about what a
person is saying.
So one can make the argument however that,
you know, a Muslim ban from these countries
is is a demonstration of racism.
So one can make the case, I I
personally wouldn't label him a racist,
but I think
he makes statements that are
unproductive and irresponsible.
You know, to say, I mean, he said
this, Islam hates us.
He said, I think Islam hates us. So
you gotta think about this for a minute.
Who's us?
What is he talking about?
What does he mean by us?
America.
America. Right? So Islam hates America,
but I'm an American.
So does Islam hate me? I'm Muslim.
Do I hate myself?
Do I hate myself? No. No. So the
the statement makes no sense. It's very polarizing.
I just don't think he knows any better.
I don't think he's trying to be explicitly
racist. I just think he's not very bright.
He's not very polished. Right?
That's why a lot of people actually voted
for him. It's because he doesn't sound like
a politician. You know, Obama's like, hey. He's
very,
you know, suave and how's it going? Because
he's a politician.
Hill Clinton is a politician. They know what
to say, and what they say sometimes does
not match their actions.
Right? But what people find refreshing about Trump
is he he he says what he thinks,
and oftentimes, you know, he doesn't really think
things through, but I wouldn't necessarily say it's
explicitly racist.
But, you know this is we should look
at this as an opportunity
to engage in engage with people and educate
them,
you know. It's it's something we is there
something good that can come out of this,
You know, I don't know if there's organizations
here.
I'm in California. There's an organization called
ING,
Islamic Networks Group, and And then they'll fly
out here, where they actually give presentations in
public schools
about Islam. And I tell you when they
go to these schools there's an entire paradigm
shift. I mean, I mean, it's just, it's
everyone just sort of wakes up to the
reality of what this religion is. They talk
to the entire school,
you know? And maybe something like that needs
to happen at a lot of these schools,
to actually hear from,
established Muslim organizations.
And, you know, even the teachers and administrators,
they attend these events and it's eye opening
for them.
You know? So it's I think it's badly
needed in these times because there yeah. I
mean there's
the rhetoric is increasing,
but I look at that as
a teaching opportunity.
Yes, ma'am? So now it's gonna be focused
on when we want to have a so
I don't think we can hide that. We
should be stopped if we really know what
Islam is. So
Yeah. It's what I said earlier. So the
prophet
said he was asked by a companion,
he said give me some advice, and he
said, kolilhaqu
inkanamoran.
He said
He says, speak the truth
even if it's bitter.
Right? Sometimes the truth for people is bitter.
They don't wanna hear it. It hits their
nuffs or something.
And then he said, and don't be afraid
of people.
Don't be afraid of the reproaches of human
beings.
You know, be Muslim. Be principled. Remember I
talked about that?
Assertive nonviolence.
Don't be violent, but be a principled person.
And that's how you be that's how you
can be a proud Muslim.
Proud not in the sense of kibro. We
don't like kibro.
Kibro is arrogance. Don't be arrogant.
Right? Be humble, have tawadur.
Be humble. But also be proud in the
sense that
in the sense that you're not afraid
of being Muslim. You're not you're not ashamed
of being Muslim,
you know. You you don't eat pork. You're
not ashamed to to admit that, you don't
drink wine, you don't go out partying in
haram ways. We have fun, but we have
halal fun.
We pray, we listen to our parents.
People actually respect that.
People don't respect someone who is
sort of wishy washy, to be honest with
you. You'll learn as adults, that people, even
if they disagree,
people respect people who are principled, even if
they're principled
in positions that disagree with them.
You know, when I got my I was
an accountant a long time ago, out of
out of college, I was 21 years old,
I became an accountant.
And this company hired me, and they also
hired a CFO. You know CFO is a
chief financial officer.
Someone who's way up there. Basically, the boss
of my boss.
So they took me and the new CFO
out to lunch and it was during Ramadan.
So at this point, I could have gone,
you know, maybe I'll just eat lunch because
I don't want them to know I'm Muslim.
Then they're gonna start asking me questions and
what if they start talking about terrorism?
So anyway, they said what will you have?
And I said, oh I'm fasting.
Right? And then I noticed that the CFO,
because he was Jewish,
he took out his crackers,
right, because it was Passover.
So he can't eat, you know, he can't
eat certain types of food.
So there's a sort of partial fast that
he was he was doing. So he said,
oh, you're fasting. So we just started talking,
me and the CFO,
and it turned into an incredible
friendship.
And every so often, the CFO would call
me into his office, and we just talk
about, like, football or something.
And the other accountants were so jealous of
me.
And then he just, you know, give me
a raise, you know, pay raise every so
often.
So I had this incredible relationship with him
because I took a stand and I said,
look, I'm Muslim, and I'm fasting.
So don't forget, Allah is in charge of
everything.
Allah is in charge of everything.
Right? So Allah tells us to do something,
we do something. We don't say, well, you
know,
what if this person is going to make
fun of me or something? Allah is in
charge of everything. So there's a quranic verse
that says if you give victory to God,
meaning follow what God tells you to do,
he will give you victory.
Right? And he will plant your feet firmly,
meaning that he'll give you strong principles
and give you courage.
Right?
So don't be afraid.
You know, if you're praying and say, oh,
you pray There was a there was a
high school student one time. He said he
was on the football team,
Muslim on a high school football team. The
only Muslim on the high school football team.
And he said, you know that the
at that high school, all the high school
football players, they wear their jerseys on Friday,
and they all sit together for lunch.
And he said there was this,
there's a lunch line in front in front
of him, and there was a girl with
hijab
who was standing in the lunch line. He
said another football player
went up behind her and started tugging the
back of her hijab.
And she kept going like this, And she
was just like terrified look on her face,
like someone's gonna pull off my hijab. Just
to kind of, you know, mess with her
a little bit.
So this brother, I said, what did you
do? He said, I didn't do anything.
I did nothing. I let it happen because
I didn't want him to know I was
also Muslim.
I said, you failed.
You failed.
So you should find her and apologize to
her. And that's what he did.
He went up to her a few days
later he said, you know, I saw what
happened to you at lunch
and I'm sorry I didn't intervene.
I promise it'll never happen again.
You know? So we have to protect each
other. Be principled. Don't worry about what this
guy's gonna think about you. What are you
talking about, man? She's a terrorist. Oh, yeah.
She's a terrorist? I'm Muslim too. Oh, you
are.
Sorry, Abdul.
Yes.
Of course. Yeah. I think ing.org.
The
the the 2 Muslim sisters that run the
organization are Maha Al Anedi and,
Mina Jandadi.
So they do presentations all around the country,
and I'll tell you it's it's really incredible
the response they get.
I mean, it just it just turns people
180%
degrees.
It'll make a big difference,
and they're not afraid to tackle issues. Like,
he'll engage the students,
and they'll talk about,
you know, important issues that that are on
students' minds so they don't sugarcoat anything. It's
not boring. It's very engaging.
It's very relevant.
So I highly recommend that.
Religious,
and you have religious freedom.
Right? That's number 1. And if that doesn't
fly, go to a different school.
You know, it's difficult sometimes.
You know? Just go to a different school.
If you feel if you feel that your
dean is in danger in America, make you
drop. And that's always an option.
Seriously, it's an option.
You know? But try the best you can,
but that's that's how we should frame the
argument, and it's not a lie. It is
a religious symbol. It's not a cultural so
for some people it is cultural.
Right? But the reason that you're doing it
is for religious reason.
So make that point. So it's a you
can demand if I have to take off
my hijab then
no Christian can wear a cross, no Jews
can wear yarmulkes.
It's a religious symbol. It's not my culture.
So it's I n g? I n g,
Islamic Networks Group.
Islamic Networks Group.
Yeah. I said, do you wear that in
the shower?
Or sometimes they come to my my wife.
They a lot of people assume my wife
doesn't speak English. So it'll be at a
restaurant,
and,
the waiter will say, what would you like,
sir? And I order and she'll go, okay.
What does she want?
So why don't you ask her, oh, okay.
Believe me, she speaks English.
I know firsthand.
Yes?
What do you do? Like, this one's happened
to me. What do you do when someone
is, like, bullying you? And then, like, there's
a lot of people that's, like, that's coming
up to you and standing with you.
Standing with him? Yeah.
Just try to get out of that situation.
Keep keep moving. Don't don't let yourself get
cornered
because that's that's what a bully does. People
like, unfortunately, especially children, but people in general.
They like to see a conflict. People love
fights.
They wanna see a fight.
That's why, you know, you know, these,
Yeah. That's the best part of the hockey
game. Or you know these,
the UFC. When I was when I was
a kid, UFC was you had to pay
to watch UFC.
Now it's everywhere. You can watch it on
regular television
because it's so popular. People love to see
fights.
Right? So people start taking off their phones
and recording you. So if you feel like
someone's bullying you, get away from that situation.
It's it's and move away as far as
you can. Don't let it sort of turn
into a scene.
Even if the person, like, pushing you, just
run.
Run away. But then he thinks that you're
scared. Then you that's what I'm saying. If
you're if you're being bullied by this person,
tell an administrator. Run to the principal,
and and tell them what's happening, and then
go home and tell your parents. So don't
run away, but don't let it go. But
first, you have to tell the teachers. How
about if their teachers doesn't let you go
to them, miss
you know,
the go ahead.
Go go, tell your parents.
Yeah. So your parents should take it seriously.
And this is a situation of you're being
bullied outside, and so, yeah, obviously there's a
situation of, you know, boys bonding and boys
are rambunctious, and that's, but this is a
different situation. This is when you're being pursued,
and there's a there's a threat on your
physical person.
So tell the teacher and then tell your
parents, and let your parents do with the
school. Okay. Yeah.
Yes?
Let's
say,
like, you know the class
or something like
that? Let's say, like, the class pet is
blowing you when you go to the teacher.
Like, you say,
The teacher's pet is doing what? It's like,
What's
Oh. Yeah. Person's when you let the teacher
write some Oh. Yeah. Like, the person when
you let the teacher write some rot, and
then you tell the teacher, but then the
teacher is like, no. This kid is really
nice. He wouldn't be doing any sort of
thing. He wasn't gonna fly or something.
I guess he's a teacher's pet.
Yeah. Well, again, you can go just tell
your parents about that.
Let your parents handle that situation. It might
be nothing. It just it just might be
A lot of times What's that? What if
he's like, peaceful, I'm consuming your high
Yeah. Yeah. That's that's happening. Tell your parents.
So your parents can contact the school and
get them down to the bottom of why
he's doing that.
Actual
Not necessarily. You know, if a,
a teacher is dealing with a parent, they
have to be very careful, and they know
they have to be very careful.
But if they're dealing with you, they can
they can sort of brush you off a
little bit. But always have again, it's very
important.
Listen up, children.
Having a very open line of communication with
your parents is extremely important.
You know? So when you're eating dinner, eat
dinner with your parents.
Don't go upstairs and TV, eat nothing. Eat
dinner with your parents, and when your parents
ask you how was your day? Tell them
what happened during school. Tell them these things.
Let them know.
It's only for your benefit. Your parents will
never try to hurt you. It's only trying
to benefit you. Only trying to help you.
Yes?
Do you get what?
Yes. So call them Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Say You Kawi,
You Kawi.
Learn these names of Allah. You kawhi means
oh strong one.
Oh
you kadir, oh omnipotent one. You know the
one who's all powerful.
So we should always be speaking to God.
When we feel weak and vulnerable
call on Allah's
names of power and ask Allah give me
strength.
And if there's like a disaster happening or
something call on Allah's names of gentle, You
Latif,
oh gentle one, make this easy. So we
should we should know these names of God.
So be in a be in a state
of Dua. Everyone has anxiety.
It's a normal thing.
Whenever I speak I get anxiety and people
think, oh, no. You seem like you're so
comfortable.
I my heart starts
bracing,
and I I think, what if I forget
what to say? What if they make fun
of me? What if I trip?
What if my zipper's down? You know, what
if, I start spinning all over the all
these kind of thoughts go through your mind.
Right?
So
that's normal, but then you have to remember
that you're Muslim.
And, you know,
du'a is speaking with Allah, and du'a is
very powerful.
You know? So take a moment and take
a deep breath.
Call on Allah and do what you think
is right.
You know? And as you get older, you'll
notice that it becomes easier.
You know. But that's normal. Everyone gets anxiety,
you know. It's a it's a good thing.
It actually helps us focus more.
Was that
some?
Oh, it's a little
So thinking about the what's the
Yeah. Yeah. You can say that,
I I dress modestly,
because I want to be a modest person.
You know?
So
deal with me intellectually.
Don't worry about my my my physicality.
What does it matter what I look like
physically?
You know, it's
it's,
it's,
it's the
it's a principle of being an American
that we don't discriminate
based
on race and creed
and physical appearance,
so make it clear that this is how
I choose to dress,
so don't worry about me physically.
Deal with my mind. Let's see if you
can engage my mind.
Right?
And modesty is a very beautiful thing and
I know that I'll tell you this,
this is my experience.
I've taught undergraduate students in college, and I've
taught graduate students, and I've been in PhD
seminars.
The,
the younger students are,
the more
immodest they
dress. The younger they are, the more in
in is that the word? Immodest?
The the less modestly they dress.
But the older they are, the more educated
they are, suddenly they get more covered.
That's just what I noticed. Like, I I
you know, I've been in undergraduate class with
non Muslim women,
and everyone's half naked.
And then in a PhD seminar, they're almost
all cup completely covered.
And the men are like that too. Why
does that happen? It seems like there's a
correlation in my mind between education and modesty.
That's just what I've noticed.
You know? So people will eventually get to
that, inshallah, when they get older. But you
can say, you know, I choose to dress
modestly. This is my right.
This is what my
personal preference you don't even have to bring
religion into it. This is my personal preference,
you know. And so so deal with my
mind, don't deal with my body.
How long if you're, like,
like, small, like, if you're, like, in 3rd,
2nd grade, and then there's, like, this tall
guy Yeah. Who's, like,
his grade or something? How about if he
starts bullying you and, like, goes
unnecessary roughness on you?
Unnecessary roughness?
Whatever it's called. Yeah. Again, just let your
teacher know,
and then let your parents know. Tell your
parents all about all these things. Okay.
Keep telling your parents.
You know, take the takeaways from tonight,
have dinner with your parents
every night.
And when your parents ask you about school,
tell them everything.
Everything happened to you.
Okay?
Stay off social networks until you're in college.
I know it's a tough one. That's just
my advice.
You don't need to you don't need that
stuff in high school. There's too much to
worry about,
and,
it's not a big issue. You don't you
don't need it, you know. You can go
online and get the news if you want.
You can go to your friends' houses and
things like that. You can text people if
you want.
And then have an open line of communication
with your parents,
and you have to know your parents only
want to help you.
They're not trying to harm you even if
they disagree with you.
Their intention is never to harm you.
Okay?
So that's very very important.
So learn that lesson now.
Because oftentimes,
there there are there are young people, there
are children who who clash with their parents
and they say,
you know, my my dad just doesn't
God bless my father. He he only tried
to now I understand, God bless my father.
He he only tried to now I understand.
And now my dad's they said my dad
already passed away. But he tried to help
me, and I didn't realize it back
then. Right?
So when you get older you start to
realize
that that your parents have wisdom. There's a
difference between knowledge and wisdom. Even if you
study and you're a genius and you're 15
years old,
that knowledge is nowhere near the wisdom of
your parents. Wisdom comes with age.
You can't get wisdom through study, only through
age.
So wisdom trumps knowledge.
So listen to the parents. This is very
important. How many times in the Quran and
hadith does the prophet say salam and Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala? How many times did they
say, you know, be kind to your parents,
listen to your parents, obey your parents. There's
a reason for that because your parents are
really the only ones that really care about
you. Nobody else really cares about you.
Your parents are the only ones that really
care about you.
Yeah. If if there's I would always recommend
for high school students to have a Muslim
club.
You can go to the administrators of the
school,
and they'll allow you to do that. I
mean, there are Jewish clubs. There's Christian clubs.
There should be a Muslim club.
There should be a place for high school
students that are Muslim can meet for Jummah
prayer or for a, you know, club meeting
where there's interaction between them. There's there's social
interaction.
So there's that sense of comfort,
leaning on each other, you know, strengthening each
other. I think that has to be there
in high school. There also has to be
in intellectual
engagement with non Muslims in high school. It
has to start in high school. It has
to start earlier, but officially sort of in
high school. So that you're actually putting on
events in high school, and inviting non muslims,
and engaging them. You know, atheists come, you
should learn the arguments, the counter arguments of
atheism.
Christians will come, how to engage with Christians,
with Adah,
you know,
whoever, you know, you know, the the young
Republicans on campus come, how to engage with
them. You'll be surprised how much we have
in common,
with them. Highlight those commonalities.
So high school, you should have a club,
a Muslim club.
There should be at least
a one time weekly meeting,
you know.
And there should be intellectual engagement, official intellectual
engagement
with with non Muslims on on campus.
That's yeah. The parents have to be
we have to be very careful.
Yeah. Because she said that,
like, if I am telling that I did
this thing, and I know sometimes it's wrong
that the parents can understand me and
they can, like,
You know, often times, like I said earlier,
youth at high school or junior high level,
they should have some sort of mentor in
their life as well.
You know, there should be someone in the
community
who's closer to their age, or they could
someone
So this community should have someone like that.
But
I would, again, just advise
people to,
you know, strive against those inclinations
and do the best you can.
Kinda like parents in his song. I'm not
trying to out out there, so that's why
I stopped praying and I'd be lying about
keeping and so forth.
So there's a comment about,
or a request for advice regarding
someone, a son, adult said, must stop praying.
And he's lying about keeping his prayers.
You know, he's an adult so,
you know, you have to obviously
keep advising him,
you
know.
So,
and it's unfortunate that that happened.
You know? So it doesn't seem like he
maybe had a strong foundation.
But, you know, it's not it's at this
point, it's no longer
useful to play the the blame game and,
you know, it was because of the parents.
They didn't, you know, they oftentimes what happens
though, to be honest with you, is that
young people, they wanna actually start praying
and going to the masjid, and then the
parents, they say, no. You have to finish
school first. Get your degree before you can
pray.
What? Before you can pray 5 times a
day you have to have your bachelor's degree.
Which doesn't make any sense because the parents
are like, you know, I don't want to
become an extremist. And that's that's a good
intention. We shouldn't want our children to become
extremists.
Right?
Obviously,
but you know praying 5 times a day
is not is not extreme.
So let your let your children, if they
have an inclination to pray, that's a beautiful
thing.
We have to trust Allah and his messenger.
And, you know, the prophet says to them,
he said, children at 10 years old, They
should be, you know,
they should be expected to start praying at
that at that age. So that when when
they're, you know, 15, 16, then it's just
part of their daily practice.
You know, so I would I would give
him just gentle reminders,
that this is a good thing, and then
oftentimes also what happens is you have parents
giving advice to their children, but parents don't
take that advice.
You know? So, like, you know, you should
pray, son. But and the child child is
thinking, you
don't pray.
I should pray. You don't pray.
Or you know, the father smoking a cigarette.
Never smoke.
This is terrible.
You know?
So that doesn't mean that the funny advice
is not good. It is good advice. Again,
parents, they give good advice.
Right? And their intentions are always good.
Right? The the urnama say, the intention of
a believer is always better than his action.
He intends good things, but the actions sometimes
fall full short.
And they say that the action of the
hypocrite is always better than his intention.
So hypocrite is doing great things outwardly but
the intention is wrong.
So believers are going to fall short in
their actions, in other words.
But we have to be very careful as
parents that we practice what we're preaching.
Right?
So,
and if you want to, you know,
request or
recommend to the adults on certain scholars that
they can listen to, then maybe you you
think they'll find sort of,
beneficial
or,
what's the word?
Someone that they can
relate to, someone who's relevant,
you know.
You you you see a speech or on
the Internet forwarded to them,
you know.
So she's going like this.
Uh-huh. Go ahead.
What's the question? How do you stay away
from people?
Don't
don't hang around them.
Just don't hang around them.
Everyone has bad influences. It might be your
cousin.
Right? So maybe you're like, well, I have
to see them once a week they come
over to my house. Okay. See them. Be
kind.
You know, engage with them, have a hamburger.
Hamburg. And then that's it.
You know?
So I have a lot
of relatives that are extremely anti Muslim,
and you know, my engagement with them is
minimal but it's courteous.
You don't have to make them your best
friend. Just don't hang around them.
Mhmm.
Yeah. Again, I mean, I think I I
covered that earlier.
Try to ignore it as much as possible,
and if it can persist,
and analyze what they're saying, and respond to
them intellectually.
Make them think about what they're saying.
Have them justify what they're saying.
And that's it. I think we have to
stop now,
because it's almost the other time. So thank
you for your questions,
and we'll
see you soon Insha'Allah. Bazar Allah Khair Assalaam
Alaikum.