Ali Albarghouthi – Islamic Manners – Episode 06

Ali Albarghouthi
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The importance of gathering graduates' graduation graduates' graduation graduation is discussed, including the need for a "ever- assessinging" attitude and a "ever- assessing" attitude. The importance of gentle and Kindness, respecting privacy, and avoiding double-standing is emphasized. The speaker emphasizes the need for practice and practice in shaping one's behavior, practicing good manners at home, and taking a break in their YouTube channel.

AI: Summary ©

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			Yeah, yeah II know phenomena de la mejor de la, la La, La La La La La La sharika wa shadow Anna
Muhammad Abdul Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sahbihi wa sallam
		
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			I'm about to do so the last thing we talked about
		
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			in this series was about manners related to gatherings, when you're next to companion, when you
visit people when you were visited, and all of that. And the last thing was one point number 33, was
a specific advice that he or Himalaya given to Muslim woman, Muslim sisters, about how frequently
you would visit another sister. And during those visits, what you should be talking about, and what
you should avoid, is, as I said, before, it happens. And it's true that our sisters are more social
than the brothers. I mean, there are exceptions, of course. But in general, right, in general,
right? The ladies are more social than men. And for that reason, they would need to remember and
		
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			emphasize and highlight the manners of the gathering of the medalists. So what happens is, how you
enter when you communicate that you're interested in visiting, if somebody declines an invitation,
how you should feel about it. And we said before, that you should give excuses to people, and not
think the worst of them. If somebody is unable to receive you, they're unable to receive you. And
sometimes they can express the excuse to you and sometimes they can't. Right, sometimes they simply
cannot. Sometimes you text someone, and they're able to respond in time, and sometimes they cannot,
not talking about a habit, where someone is basically lazy and negligent. I'm not talking about that
		
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			I'm talking about sometimes as an exception, someone is unable to reply in time. And you must seek
for them an excuse, the first thing that should come to your mind is an excuse. That is the must
have something. And for that for us to develop such a reputation, then we need to be prompt and
punctual and on time. Rather than develop a prison. Well, this is just his habit, had reply in a
couple of days, he'll reply when whenever. So that's the case, if this is how you behave, then other
people will will be inclined to behave in the same way. Right?
		
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			Or not?
		
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			Absolutely. And if you're late in your appointments, do I need to keep saying? No, I don't, because
I know that I'm expecting and that's how it develops into a very bad habit. If you're late five
minutes, or five minutes is okay, if you're late half an hour to an appointment, I know that when we
say five o'clock, that none of us is going to show at five o'clock. So I won't show up until five
o'clock, it'll be 530 for me. So both of us will learn to break the rule, both of us will learn bad
habits because you have taught it to me and I've accepted it. So it's the same thing, right? So
we're not talking here about a habit, we're talking about somebody who is unable to receive you. And
		
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			you must seek excuses for them. either say there's an excuse, and I know about maybe this may be
this may be that but even if you exhaust all excuses, you'll say to yourself, maybe there is
something I don't know about. Maybe they're going through some difficulties. And I don't know about
them, they did not share that with me. So you actually give the benefit of the doubt to your
brothers and your sisters.
		
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			In point number 34 he says hey, mala and we're going to Charlotte be finishing the book tonight.
Insha Allah, He says he that the Hunter mccannon fee honey and he says if you enter a place where
people are asleep for him with a lot of vihara katica saltiga in their home. So he says take care
not to wake him up. Take care not to disturb them and be gentle and how you move and how you talk
and how you speak because you don't want to disturb them and you don't want to wake him up he says
but condra fear and luckily for me kinda be gentle. Because he said so low it he said lamb, when you
heard my rifka you will hear akula who the one who is denied kindness on gentleness, he is denied
		
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			all of goodness. That is if someone is not kind and is not gentle, as if he is deprived of all good.
		
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			And so the opposite is true that if Allah azza wa jal had given you the wisdom to be gentle and
kind, then there is plenty of good in you and you'll be able to achieve a lot of good. And this is a
general Islamic principle. I'll come in sha Allah to explain it. But let's just finish up this
point. And that is what are the Allahu anhu said and he's describing how they were with the prophets
of Allah.
		
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			Tell me how the Prophet was with them. So this is experiential. This is something that happened is
this is not something that the Prophet had said only, but this is how he behaved. And that's
important, because sometimes not with a prophet definitely. But sometimes we say we speak we advise,
but this is not how we behave. Here you will see how the prophets only we send them in addition to
his admonitions or his reminders. This is also how he behaved. He says good notfall Yasuda, Hina,
Ciba homina Leben. He says, we used to preserve for the Prophet sallallahu wasallam his portion of
milk so that they would get milk and they will distribute it in portion I'll take mine he'll take
		
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			yours. And then they'll reserve a portion to the profits of the law to sell them. ag Amina lane, for
you sell him with this lemon law you have given him or yusmeiro at the hackathon. So so he comes at
night, he will give us a lamb, the saline a kind of a salon, that does not wake up the one who is
asleep, but you will hear it if you're awake. So it's in the middle, it's gentle.
		
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			So if you're asleep, it's not going to wake you up and it's not going to disturb you. So it doesn't
come with a lot of SLM into the house announcing right and a very loud voice. Salaam, Allah doesn't
do that. But rather, he acknowledges, he knows that there are some people who may be asleep, so I'm
not going to disturb them. But some people are there who may be awake, so I'll give Salaam to them.
So you will choose a middle ground and middle path between the two, that is going to fulfill the
purpose. So
		
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			it's the same thing when you're coming home, or with your neighbors. So you come home, you gotta be
gentle. And remember this Islamic principle, you got to be gentle. So when you come home, if some of
your family or is asleep, or when you enter when you knock on the door, ring the bell or when you
enter the home or when you say set on accommodate those who are asleep.
		
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			If you're going to stay up, and some of your family members are going to go to bed early, maybe
because they're younger, they're older, or maybe they have work early the next day, accommodate that
they're going to bed and don't disturb them, whatever you're going to be doing. If you're going to
come back late, and they're asleep, accommodate when you enter the home, how you open the door, how
you close it, right? How you finish up whatever you want to finish up before you go to bed,
accommodate all of that, remembering the example of a sort of lice a lolly was in them, what their
what, um, you're not just going to disturb somebody else because you are commanded to be gentle and
		
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			kind. Same thing you know, when you enter the masjid, even even in the masjid, some people when they
are reading the Koran, you got to accommodate your neighbor, because your neighbor is doing what
reading the order unlike you, or insalata like you, so you can be too loud. If you're alone in the
message it fine. But if there's a neighbor right next to you, well, he too, or she too, wants to
read the hora just like you, he or she also want to pray and they want to concentrate so you're not
going to compete with them. And they also compete with you, but you accommodate all and this is
actually a direction from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam because he said for kulu comuna job
		
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			by meaning Don't raise your voice when we reading the Koran Don't raise your voice where you are
with you would you would overwhelm the other person or disturb the other person because the he sets
a lot of us and that each of you is conversing with his creator is talking to Allah Xhosa so don't
disturb the other person. So this is what how you accommodate other people around you. Okay, and
when we're talking about gentleness as a general principle, and he mentioned this before, Rahim,
Allah He mentioned this before, being kind and gentle and everything that you do. And in fact, as I
said that it's a general a general principle that this is to be applied everywhere. And this is the
		
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			norm everywhere and firmness becomes an exception when gentleness is no longer possible. Like when
do you fight the non believers?
		
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			After what?
		
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			The hour? Isn't it? That you give Dawa first and you invite Islam? When do you become firm?
		
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			When they reject it, they resist it and they start attacking. Okay, what do you do? Then you become
firm. So gentleness is in all matters with the non Muslims and the Muslims with family and with
friends, and how you drive drive with gentleness and kindness. Even if others around you are not
doing the same thing. Right? Because this is it's there's no partition to it. You can say, I'm gonna
be gentle here, but not there. It's an attribute. It's safer. It's a feature in you. If you allow
someone Okay, to make you hard and firm, unnecessarily, not hard, even harsh. unnecessarily. You'll
be harsh everyone
		
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			Where else,
		
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			but if you maintain that character everywhere else in this area, you'll be able to practice it in
other areas. But if it's your corrupted here is going to be corrupt. If you lose it here, you're
going to lose it over there. So how you drive, be gentle and kind, because it's going to affect how
you enter your home, or how you enter your workplace. At work, you're going to be gentle, and kind,
when you enter your home, you'll be gentle and kind, how you want to solve a dispute in an argument
is not by being harsh, the first response is to be gentle, and kind.
		
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			And he said, so a lot of you assume that you will have all good, a possession of all good, if you
continue to be gentle and kind, not harsh, but gentle, and kind. And the exception is, once all of
that fails, then yes, you can be firm,
		
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			in dealing with your kids, in the kids dealing with their parents and dealing with your spouse and
dealing with your neighbor. Same thing, always be gentle and kind. And also, you know, keeping your
voice down, it's also important with your neighbor, we didn't emphasize this, I talked about it,
maybe in a couple of other
		
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			two lectures ago, maybe this is in your with your neighbors. So if you're coming, especially like
send messages are in residential areas. So in Asia, when Asia is late, or in February, you're coming
out of the masjid to you what, you've been awake for a while, but to them, they're still asleep, or
in Ramadan, even residential areas, neighbors complaining about Muslims, why, because of our kids,
and they're playing outside to them is just date. It has become day for all all of us all up. But
other people that's that's not their pattern. So you really have to accommodate that if I'm praying
to Allah, we, okay, and almost all everybody's of you have realized that not everybody is up. So you
		
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			have to respect them. And you have to be gentle and kind, and you have to keep your voice down, you
come into federal or live into fudger. Okay, when you leave, you have to remember that everybody is
still asleep, so don't annoy other people. Because not only it's not only it's an impression,
they're going to look at you, and you're going to be a representative of Muslim and Muslims. But
it's also because it's upsetting to Allah. So gentlemen, you do this, more importantly than what
other people are going to think, is that it is upsetting to Allah is that because this is not that's
not how you're supposed to behave. You are supposed to be gentle, and it's this gentleness, that
		
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			brings people to Islam and brings other Muslims to Islam. Other Muslims seem to behave in that way,
inviting to people discussing a religious issue in that way. Even if the other person is stubborn,
you know, have some people will come to you, and they'll say this and that about Islam, Muslim or
non Muslim, if you become really angry and irritated and you begin to, you know, giving them you
know, replying with insults and irritated comments, you're not going to help the cause. But if
you're kind and you're collected, and you understand what they're saying, and you try to understand
why they're saying it, and give them the best response that you can, you definitely will bring them
		
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			closer rather than chase them away. So, remember this gentleness and kindness as being a general
principle you apply everywhere. He says also, this is point number 35. He says that at the academic
and if you are invited to a wedding,
		
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			hello, fresh head rules go witness answer that invitation, madam you can feed him or her on a T
shirt as long as there is nothing no harm in it. Okay, as long as there is no harm in it.
		
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			So, he mentioned zero Hadith announced the Nika and make it in the message. That's life. Okay, so
there's no Hadith about the virtue of having the guy in the mystery. It had become a habit in the
West because usually, the one who appreciates the man is in the mystery. But sometimes the man could
be invited to somebody's home or to a hall. So there's no particular virtue to with being in the
midst it can be in any place, but the hurry that is authentic, he says, Lino Nika kind of broadcast
or announced the Nika okay publicize it and he said also in a Heidi's a lot of sediment is hussen
first loan or phoslo Medina halen you will haraam are sold to a to fulfill Nika. It says what
		
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			distinguishes between halal and haram is a salt I mean, the announcement or the publicity and a
diff, the tambourine in Anika so the announcement he sets a lot he was a lamb is one of the things
that distinguish between halal and haram. Of course, there are other differences. Haram is haram.
There are no witnesses right there is no Wali there is no Muharram is basically a sin a sinful
relationship. Hillel has it
		
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			foundations like the windy and the witnesses and the most out of all of that, that's good. But what
he sits a lot he was sent him is that one of the things that distinguish between hunted and haraam
in marriage is marriage and sin fornication, is that sin usually happens in secret. It's hidden.
Like, if people have here still, it is hidden, but marriages public. So this is how you have to
announce nikka publicize it. And so part of aiding in the publicity of Nika is that when you're
invited you What? attend. So if it's a walima, if it's an hour, the invitation is to the Lima of the
Nika and you have really no excuse not to attend. It's an obligation on you to attend. So I said,
		
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			remember that we said, we numerated the rights of the Muslim upon a Muslim, and we said Java to our
answering their invitations. So it's generally if a Muslim invites you and he we're assuming there
is no harm. So Muslim invites, who generally it's recommended that you answer that invitation or
accept that invitation for our Lima in the wedding. Okay, there's no excuse for you not to attend.
And I mean, excuse for you, to skip it. You have to attend it. And there are benefits, of course, to
that there are benefits to this one of them is it publicizes the Nika when everybody comes in. And
they witnesses that so and so and married, so and so it become clear that this is his wife, this is
		
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			her husband. So everybody knows that this is halal. According to the book of Allah and the Sunnah of
His Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
		
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			And he says here, we have already carried out the he says, When you enter the
		
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			loop, it says it gets publicized. And then more and more people witness it. And you also do what you
also make your brother or your sister happy, because it's a joyous occasion. So you participate, and
you make do to them.
		
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			And he said here, that they're either either click filter kunia to grafitti job, and Natasha was in
mubaraka, athleta sorauren, Metro, Miranda, buhbuh historia. So it says, What is your intention when
you want to attend? And that's an important thing is what is your intention? When you want to
attend? We say also, what is your intention when you are inviting people to your wedding? It's so
important, what is your intention? So your intention should be first of all, is what is that I want
to publicize this.
		
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			And this is the sunova sort of lifestyle, allow to sell them. That's why I'm inviting people. It's
not to show off.
		
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			So a lot of people light and it's come it's cultural, but also personal. I mean, it becomes what an
occasion where I would show people how much I have, and our status. And we're going to have it in
this hall. And again, invite those people, and we're going to have this food. Why all of this
because somebody else did it that way. And we're not less than them. So it becomes an act of
competition. So first of all, you have to ask yourself, why am I inviting people to this one EMA.
And by the time, by the way, that walima, or that that wedding, that wedding invitation does not
have to be, first of all, a burden, it doesn't need to, I know that there are some cultural
		
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			practices, and some of these cultural practices are okay, some of these cultural practice are
unnecessary, some of these cultural practices are harder.
		
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			And you want to have to distinguish between all of them. And so one of the cultural practices where,
and you witness that, I mean, different from one community to the other, where they bring the groom
and the bride and they put them on the chair and they sit in front of everybody. And the problem is
that the bride is in full makeup
		
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			with all her jewelry, all of the decorations, all the beautification and she's sitting there on the
stage in front of everybody that is cultural, that is what acceptable. Absolutely not. That's not
acceptable. Right? In addition to the mixing, in addition to the music, in addition, you know, to
the dancing, etc, etc, etc. And this is I'm talking about any talking about somewhat a conservative,
okay?
		
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			Practice, there are people who will go way too liberal with this. And I'm not even talking about
those people. I'm talking about some Muslims who are practicing, but they still do these things, is
that this is not acceptable. And that's an excuse for you not to attend such a wedding. This is if
these things are happening. That's an excuse for you not to answer that call and not to not to
accept that invitation. And you say, and you can up to you and how diplomatic you want to be. But
you can say I can't attend it because of this, or at least you will go give your Salaam give your
address, and then you head back. So you're not attending this thing. So anyway, you got to
		
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			distinguish between what is culturally appropriate and culturally inappropriate. That's one and it's
important to start
		
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			Your life on the right path. This is the first thing that you're doing together as my right. As my
group, the first thing that we're doing together how you want to start, and there's pressure from
this family, and there's pressure from that family, I understand. But it's still ultimately, if you
are any confident, is still your wedding. So you decide how you want to do it. The second thing is
that it does not have to be a burden, a financial burden. Okay? So the prophets of Allah seldom told
a Sahabi olayiwola vicia. He says, you know, have a walima have a What do you mean invitation food,
even if it's just a sheep, just one thing, one sheep, and you invite everybody to it. And another I
		
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			think of the prophets of audio cinema, I think on one of his wives, it was just basically dates
mixed with flour, and whatever, it's the kind of food that they have. But it's very simple and very
modest dates with flour, and it gets mixed together or cooked. That's the that was it. There was
nothing more than that. The purpose is not necessarily to feed for you to come in and leave you
know, full of meat. That's not it. The purpose of it is what? The invitation and the gathering
		
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			and announcement and people coming in and giving you this
		
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			and then leaving that's it. That's the purpose of it. You make people happy, you make the families
happy. Yes. Okay. But the main purpose of it is what that. So it doesn't have to be a burden. And so
you don't even have to start your life with debt. Don't have to start your life spending 1000s of
dollars on this hole, or in this Gator or whatever. You could save all of that, but actually have
something modest enough that announces your wedding and at the same time fulfills with you every you
need to fulfill your need, emotionally, and satisfies also your parents. So you choose you choose.
And when he's saying here's sort of law, how do we sell them?
		
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			The difference between halal and haram is assault. We said assault is the announcement a dove is a
tambourine. And you know what the tambourine is what a dove is. So the diff is like,
		
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			it's a musical instrument. And the prophets a lot to sell him here, especially in Nika had allowed
it. So it's like a drum. But it's not covered from both sides. It's coming from both one one side
only. And it doesn't have these metal desk, discs and the sides. So it's just like one leather.
		
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			One leather, one leather part covering one part, the other part is empty is open. So that's what
that is. So he says this is allowed in the Nika so it's allowed absolutely for the sisters. And if
the sisters want to strike the booth, and sing, and they want to dance, as long as the dance is
appropriate, and it's not mixed, and the men cannot see them, they can do that.
		
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			Okay, so if they want to use the dove, you can say do for death, if they want to use the death, and
they want to sing, as long as the singing doesn't reach them in, and they want to dance as long as
the dance is appropriate. And it's not an erotic type of dancing, like belly dancing, right? As long
as that is okay.
		
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			For the men, some scholars allow the death some scholars don't. Most of the scholars allow it
actually the depth for the men, most scholars allow it. So if they want to use that for the men, if
your opinion not, that's fine. If you're of the opinion, it's okay, that's fine as well. But some
scholars do allow it when the majority allow the men to use the depth and also to sing. And if they
want to actually dance appropriately. Right. There's some dances that are appropriate. That's fine.
That's okay with that, right? And it's all to do what to express happiness, okay, and participate in
the happiness of the family. So if a person does that, that's fine as well. And if a person does it
		
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			with a good intention, he gets rewarded for it. Right. So this is why you are attending
		
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			and
		
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			the greeting when you meet the family and meet the grime, the groom and the bride. He said selalu
cillum his reading was barakallahu laka. What alayka Gemma avena Kumasi say May Allah bless for you
and upon you and unite you in good
		
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			May Allah UNIVAC Allahu laka what la Kamiya Allah bless for you give Baraka for you upon you and
unite you is good.
		
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			And he says here What are two new bill code and whether you have to obey baldness but Rafa you will
Benny and he says do not say the raafat you will Benny This is more relevant to Arabic speaking
people rather than English speaking people, because no one in English would know what our offer is.
But there's a hadith
		
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			where one of the Sahaba gotten married and they told him bill Rafa he was born in garrafa. Albany
means what Bill
		
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			That means with harmony and children meaning they're saying with harmony meaning this May this
proceed with harmony and children. So he said do not say this. We were forbidden to say that but
rather fair say barakallahu laka What? Our Batticaloa like our la so don't say this it will
forbidden to say that, but say me Allah bless for you and upon you nearly a meaning May Allah bless
for you and bless you says because we were forbidden to say that now the scholars have said why is
it that that phrase garrafa you will mean was forbidden, even though what is it saying with harmony
and
		
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			children? So they speculate and they say, first of all, it may be because Allah's Name is not
mentioned there is just says, me you have harmony and children. So last name is not mentioned.
		
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			The other thing is that they say that maybe it's because it says Albanian meaning that it's sons,
not daughters. Because the people have Jamelia favored What? sons, right? Not daughters, right. So
that was their first choice. And we're still living in that other Jedi until today, Muslim and non
Muslim.
		
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			The other the third interpretation or explanation of why that may be the case, they say it wasn't a
duel. But it was actually kind of a good luck thing to see. And that when they were saying it, it
wasn't a joke. But rather that if they say it, you'll get a good Good luck, you're gonna get all of
that. So they were forbidden to say that.
		
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			Maybe there's a fourth reason we'll low atom which is what if you say this one, if you get to use
it, you used to saying this one, you're gonna end up not using the data that comes from the profits
alone isn't a meaning if your habit is to say, go to a fat will win. And that was a highly custom.
And you continue with that, you're not going to end up saying and remembering the command of the
profits of your system or the son of the prophet to pray for Baraka for them.
		
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			So Which is better?
		
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			Just to simply say, may you have harmony, and children or rather say May Allah bless you, and bless
for you and unite you in good? Definitely asking for Radhika, asking for Baraka. And that is one of
the but also the benefit of inviting people to your wedding and going to that place. Because the
more people that you invite, the more people will come to you and say what that we should say it,
you're being invited. So more and more people will come and pray for Baraka for you and your family
bought a gift for you and your family. So you're going to get as much as people that you've invited,
okay, as long as it doesn't break your back, and it's not going to invite the whole city but as long
		
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			as many as you can. But you're going to get that and you get the reward yourself of saying that to
somebody else, and maybe Allah will accept it. And there's your benefit in it. That is if there is
an Islamic phrase, if there is an Islamic if there is an Islamic greeting, okay, hold on to it. And
don't replace it with something else. Because when you replace it with something else, you'll forget
the Islamic one.
		
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			That's why when you enter by, especially for the young aminos when you enter it's not hi and Hello.
		
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			Okay, and it's not you know, Good morning or good afternoon. Does anybody say good morning, good
afternoon.
		
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			Anybody? It's not hi and Hello, or what's up or how you doing? It's not that it's first What?
		
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			salaam aleikum. That's the first thing that I want to hear from you, as salaam aleikum, then say
your highs and hellos. But the first thing is a Solomonic because if you get used to highs and lows,
or a coma, Ceylon disappears. It doesn't come back. So it's always a competition between the Islamic
phrase, the Islamic terminology, and the non Islamic phrases and non Islamic terminology. And if you
lose and sacrifice that Islamic phrase and terminology have lost a lot of good, a lot of good, the
name of Allah has evaporated, will left you and you're left with what nonsense. Things that do not
allow you snore or you can even enjoy it does not help you. It doesn't satisfy you.
		
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			Okay, that's why one of the things also that the Prophet sallallahu sallam, you know, sort of
related but not so related, is he called out to Asia and Asia.
		
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			And he said he said, rob the Bedouins call it. Our Latin is this fella, you know kumala he says let
them not overtake you by emphasizing that name so that it replaces the salaah of an Asia
		
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			even though it's not hard on both our names Oh,
		
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			HTML or XML is just darkness. But he said what it is called a shot. So hold on to that name because
others have a different name to it, let them not compete. And then when that competition you hold on
to Alicia, and they did and they won. Now it's a shot, nobody knows it knows it by that other name.
Because that that time of the night knows no one knows it by salata. latemar. Okay, but solidly
Shia. So Islamic terminologies are important, because they make sense collectively. And because they
bring Allah azzawajal into the mix. Right? So pelicula Holika, welaka, Lake wajima abena Kuma Fifi.
		
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			And then the last thing insha Allah that we will say, and then we'll take your questions. As I said,
you know, it's the end of the book, he says, I conclusion, he says these are a bunch or
		
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			several Islamic manners that I've written down. And he says, the best way or the best place for you
to apply them is your house. And the house of your brother. Okay? Or the house of your sister. Well,
shots took our shot. So take it within you, within yourself. And when you're talking to your brother
for that, that said, we'll clear maybe have him avena kobina iF wernick he says so do not disregard
them between you and your brother between you and your friend. Considering that well, he's just my
brother. He's just my friend. He's just you know, my she's just my sister. We're in the same house.
We visit each other often. I don't have to observe these rules. It says do not dress regard them or
		
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			neglect them because of that. onesie be better, you will look female. Luca was hairbow is the one
who deserves the great your greatest kindness and your greatest attention is who?
		
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			Who cause havoc is your family. Okay. And that's why and you know this very well. It says when it's
on someone came to the Prophet sallallahu sinnamon. He says, Who is the one who deserves my best
companionship? My my best behavior when I get when I give their company, my best behavior, my best
words, they should be the best towards who is? And what did he say? He says I'm looking
		
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			for more from them in a box as your mother than your mother than your mother than your father. Okay,
so we today and you know, we've got it's reversed. That is when we learn these manners, we think
about in our head that, Okay, I'm going to practice this where in the masjid,
		
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			I'm going to practice this with my neighbor. Okay, I hope it actually reaches that level where we
thinking about what we're going to do to my neighbor, I'm going to practice this in my workplace.
I'm going to practice this at the university, which is all good. But we forget that the first place
where you should be practicing, all of this is home,
		
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			it's your home.
		
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			Because that's where you are really who you are. Everywhere else, we can pretend everywhere else I
can try to affect Okay, and you know, pretend that I'm this and that but hole is where you actually
genuine.
		
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			So your good manners, how you how good of manners you have or terrible, show themselves at home.
It's easy to be patient outside.
		
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			Oh, not easy, easier. It's easier to be patient outside. But if you want to find yourself, if you're
a patient or not see for your patient at home with your kids and with your spouse, then you will
find if you're patient, or if you're kind, or if you preserve your tongue. Or if you do, you're not
obscene, you're not vulgar. Or if you hold your anger, all these things
		
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			inside the home are far more important than outside the home. Because if you apply them in, then you
can apply them outside and apply them in your teaching them to your spouse, you're teaching them to
your kids. And in fact, you're teaching them to your parents as well. Because you can teach your
parents
		
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			not by lecturing them by by good behavior. So you're teaching those on the inside. If you're
teaching us on the inside these things, then all of us can go on the outside and teach it to other
people as well. So the first thing when we talk about these matters, talk we talked about sat down.
We talked about I don't know if I've talked about smiling but we talked about salame there is
smiling, there is knocking on the door. There is you know observing and safeguarding your tongue
safeguarding your eye all of these things inside the home first, and Tom that that considered to be
a launchpad into your practice of Islamic manners everywhere else, but what he said about it here,
		
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			let it out. Don't disregard them. That is very
		
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			True. When you learn anything that is even small, don't say it's insignificant, and you forget about
it, or I'll do it next time. Because if you sacrifice it now, you're not going to be able to
practice it the next time you've weakened yourself. So you enter your home. And remember that the
first thing that you should say is sit down. Say it. Say it, even if it wasn't your habit. Say it.
First time, you'll be embarrassed to first time you'll you know, have to hear comments like, oh,
you're saying Salaam now? Oh, you're changing your habit. That's okay. But don't be embarrassed, say
say no. Because the next time, it'd be easier to see see them and then it becomes a habit. But if
		
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			you accept the whisper of a shaytaan, that it's not that important. It's not that important, then
the shaitaan will convince you that it's not that important continuously, and you'll forget about
it. So all these matters. If you listen, if you hear anything, if you hear anything, no matter how
you think it is insignificant. Practice it, practice it. And don't ask us for that's why we say
don't ask, Is it so now do I have to do it? Do I not have to do it, your attitude should be I need
to do it. And if you do it, you'll get gained more and more of the pleasure of Allah azzawajal and
these things that used to look difficult are not going to be difficult.
		
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			So and hamdulillah This is the conclusion of the book. Hopefully inshallah, that we emphasized some
important things that we can follow. And that's not of course no an exhaustive examination of
Islamic manners. We'll probably come back and revisit them sooner or later inshallah but we will do
that. And the more the more even more detailed fashion if Allah azza wa jal allows it. So we'll take
a break in Sharla next week, so we're not gonna have anything next week and the week after we won't
shala
		
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			reconvene with a new topic inshallah, I'm still taking recommendations if you have any
recommendations, I have one thought in mind, but we'll see but I will take more of your
recommendations shala between now and then to see if there's something that you would like to for us
to discuss and know about then we can do that inshallah. And I mean,
		
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			this is it, let me know inshallah, if you have any questions about what we've said specifically,
either tonight, or throughout that series,
		
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			none insha Allah so
		
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			this is live stream on my Facebook. The messenger is live streaming it both on their Facebook