Adnan Rajeh – Monday Tafseer- 65 Part 4 Surat Al-Talaq- 8-12
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
WA Habibi na Muhammad, WA Allah Alihi olabi. Tonight, shall we
continue with the tafsir Polak and we will, Inshallah, conclude it
this evening, and next week, we'll start with Surat Tarim. She'll be
the last Surah in this cluster from mujahim. Quick, quick recap.
So this whole court, or this whole series of lectures, or Halakhah.
The goal of them was to do a tafsir of the of what is called in
the Quran Al Mufasa, the comprehensive. And it goes from
Kaf to a NES. And I think for those who may not have the gift of
memorization or a little bit older or a bit too busy, there's a
really good, you know, portion of the Quran to know by heart, if,
yeah. And the reason that we've been we started there is, my goal
was that if you, if you attended, we do like, half a page or so per,
you know, per week. So if you just did that per week, within a couple
of years, you'll have, at the end of you'll have the last four Jesu
of the Quran, which summarizes almost everything that the Quran
talked about in the first 26 juzu
they are they're shorter suras, but they have a lot of information
packed into each of them. And they are divided into four groups of
suras. The first group is from path to a Hadid, and we talked
about that over the last maybe around a year and a half ago, for
around a year and a half in its own sense. And what we cover, and
it goes through the basic choices that we have to make in life,
meaning whether we choose to be
those, whether we believe in Jannah or now or not, and whether
we're going to choose the path of Jannah or the path of punishment,
whether we are going to be functional versus dysfunctional,
whether we want to be want to receive guidance versus no
guidance, the certainty of knowledge versus whims and
desires. So each Surah presented us with a fork in the road of what
we have to choose, and the surahs were very fundamental in terms of
the theology and the spirituality that it was teaching. The second
group is from Tahrir, which is what we're in right now. It's very
different group of surahs. They're all Madani. They all revealed in
Medina, all them towards the end of his his life, Ali, his salah,
to Asmaa. And they are focused on organizing, or organization of the
Muslim ummah,
the relationships and the in certain stances that are required.
So each Surah took on a certain aspect of organization. Talked
about organizing their relationships Muslims have with
fellow Muslims, whether it's their spouses, whether it's their Muslim
Brothers, whether it's their leaders. All covered within
Suratul mujer surat al Hajjah talked about organizing the
relationships of citizenship, meaning within the country that
the Prophet alayhi salatu salam has built, there were different
components. Not all of them were Muslim, some and they were
Mushrikeen, and they were al Kitab, and there were old Muslims
and new Muslims, meaning people who were just immigrated and came
in from a different country. And the surah talked about organizing
relationships of those and the finances that will come with that.
So talked about organizing the relationships we have with non
Muslims, whether they are combative versus non combative,
whether they are people Yani who are who are lawful versus those
who are lawless. And the surah kind of talked about that. It's a
very if you that, sort of, in my opinion, you should definitely go
back and listen to the full four or five sessions that we you spent
covering it, because it's extremely important for anyone
who's going to live as a Muslim in the west or anywhere, honestly,
within the area that we're in. So the soft talked about the social
contract, what contract you have as a Muslim with the community
that you're a part of. So the Juma taught about, talked about
leadership within the Muslim community. So the talked about the
problem of hypocrisy, the problem of you
not actually carrying your weight, wanting the perks of being a
Muslim, but not willing to actually, you know, put in your
hours. There's a buy in that comes with Islam. The dead weight that
we have in our communities is what causes our communities not to
function. Too much dead weight, too many people who aren't
carrying their, you know, their portion of the of the pie. They're
not. They're not, they're not doing the job. So we have a lot of
numbers, a lot of people want the perks of being Muslim, but not
willing to put in the and that's what talked about. Surat tavabun
In the midst of all of these suras that are very technical, is a
Surah that reminds us of why we do it all like why? Why are these
come so important? Why is all this important for us to to adhere by
and to and to obey is because we do it for the sake of Allah and to
never, ever, under any circumstances, lose sight of why
you do what you do. The moment you lose sight, the moment it becomes
my group versus their group, or my nationality versus their
nationality. Then, then, then the barakah of it all fades away, and
you end up causing more harm than benefit by far. Sudp talks about
the relationships within marriage and the Sudra. Tahim talks about
the organizing the family, which is going to be what we're going to
start with next, next week. Now, what I've done over the last
couple of weeks is the fourth session in sudopura, because
before I go through the Surah, I talk a little bit about aspects of
marriage that I think are important. And I've covered.
A number of them over the last three weeks, and today I have a
few more points I want to
make in marriage. Yes, there has to be compatibility. There has to
be compatibility,
meaning it's not enough for the people, the two people just to be
Muslim and to like each other. There's not enough to make it
work. If it was then he said, and Zainab would not have gotten
divorced. And the example you have in the Quran is the divorce of
Zaid Bin Hari to the Prophet Alaya saw as adopted son, one of the
greatest men of Islam who divorced Zaynab went to jashad Allah Now
one of the greatest women of Islam who later on became meaning. So
these two people of extremely high caliber couldn't make it work,
because there was lack of compatibility between them from a
financial perspective. So compatibility kapha, which is what
the word that you find in the books of fiqh is, is important
when it comes to marriage. Why? Because
whatever attraction exists at the beginning of marriage does not
exist a year or so in marriage. It doesn't mean that you're no longer
attracted to your spouse. You are. It's just not this exact same way.
It changes in nature. Don't ask me how. I don't know how it just does
ask anyone who's married, anyone who's been married for over a
year, ask them. They'll tell you, yeah, no, I'm still attracted.
Just not the same way. It just feels different. It's nice. It's
really nice. It's just not the same, right? The change of nature,
that change of nature, in order for it to actually work out, you
need compatibility, because the heat of attraction upfront blurs
vision so and that can carry you for a while without noticing that
we're not compatible at all. What you want in life and what I want
in life are not the same. You have expectations that I can never,
ever meet, and I have expectations that you have no interest in
meeting. So this has not got to work out in the long run. And
that's how people end up getting divorced, because they figure out
not too long far into it, that we're not compatible. So
compatibility is important, and that is where the wisdom of
parents comes in. That's where the wisdom of your parents is
important. To ask people who love you and know you. It's not just
loving you, it's also knowing you. Your parents raise you. Your
mother knows you well. She knows what you want and what works for
you, what type of person you are. And she can look at someone and
say, as long as she's not biased, as long as he does not hate the
guts out of this girl or her mother or her family, or they have
some cultural or racial bias, as long as that's not there, they're
capable of looking at someone and saying, This person will make you
happy, versus this person does not have the tools to make you happy.
So listen to these things. They matter. They're important because
compatibility is what carries the marriage. When there's no
financial compatibility at all, if the man comes from a background
that's extremely poor and financially, and she comes from a
background is extremely rich that usually doesn't work. Actually,
within Islam the man is required to provide for his spouse or what
she was provided in her household.
He is required to provide for his future spouse, that which she was
provided within her household with her dad. He's required to do that.
So if she's living at a standard that you cannot live or you don't
want to live at, then reconsider who you're going to knock on the
door of. Because this actually you're, if she has a maid, you're
required, as a man, to provide her a maid. This is what you're
required to do. So if she if you're not willing to do that,
because, like, you know what? It's not that I don't have the money,
is that I don't want to live like that, right? And you have the
right to say, this is, this is how I want to live my life. I have a
lot of money, but this is how I want to live. It's a minimalistic
lifestyle. It's not out of cheapness. Is I don't want to
actually, you have to make sure the person's compatible. Social
compatibility is important too. Social compatibility not just in
terms of status, but also in terms of norms, in terms of norms that
people are used to, if you want to live a life, that is, if you want
to have a happy life, choose someone who is socially compatible
with you so that you're not tied because 10 years into a marriage,
you don't want to continuously think about what your in laws want
that is different than what your parents raised you to do. You
don't want to continuously worry about these pieces of the waste of
energy. It's very tiring, right? Especially with the ladies. Well,
you know, he comes from a different background, and their
expectation is, I do this on the day of aid, and this on the day
the day after aid. And I speak like this to my gratitude to My in
law, and I do, and she's like, I didn't, and my mother did none of
this stuff. Yeah, I know, because that was your culture. You married
outside of your culture. There's no some social compatibility, so
you're tired, and as a man, you'll be tired as well, because you
don't know what the norms are. The norms are very different. You
don't want to have to do stuff that Wallahi will come down even
to food. It'll come down to food.
10 years into a marriage, you just want a meal that won't give you
gas at night. Well, lie, that's all you want. And if there's no
social compatibility, if what she is used to eating is something
that causes one of the it causes a dragon to be born inside of your
intestines every time you have the food, then either you're miserable
or she's miserable. So these things matter. I'm not saying
that's impossible. I'm not.
Saying is, how long to marry outside of your culture or outside
of your social norm? No, no. But if you ask me, if you come to me
and say, hey, I want to marry someone from do you advise it?
I'll say no. I'll say no, no, I don't advise you to marry you
outside, because I know what you're going to want as a man 10
years into your marriage or 15 years into your I know what you're
going to want, and you're not going to want any headaches. You
don't want any you don't want any hoops to keep up. You want to
there to be hoops that you have to constantly jump through, or there
to be inconveniences that are on a daily basis there that you don't
want. You just want to live life that is at home, harmonious and
synchronous and easy, so that, because life is difficult enough
as it is, you don't need all these smaller things, details making it
more difficult for you, but people can make it work. People can
compromise and they can make things work, for sure, but
compatibility, the concept of Kapha is important. It's very
important. It is sometimes misused by parents as sometimes they you,
they hide behind that to justify being racist or being
discriminatory towards other people. This happens. Someone has
a bias. They don't want to say that. I just don't like these
people because of something that happened 30 years ago. I don't
like the color of his skin. I don't like that. They don't I just
don't like something about them, and they're not willing to say
what it is. So they hide behind social social compatibility or
kapha, is something that has to be established clearly in terms of,
okay, this person is not kafu. If this person is not kufu, this
person is not compatible with this lady, then we have to explain
exactly what the problem is. That's the first point. It's very
important when you're searching for a spouse,
and I always tell younger guys, it's a rookie move. It's a rookie
move if you go get to know someone like them, and you don't explore
that piece first, and you don't talk to your parents and her
parents to make sure that they're going to be compatible, that
they're okay with this. And this happens all the time. They come
in, well, Sheik, my dad doesn't say, am I saying no? Her mother is
absolutely saying no, and I've known her for three years, and I
love her. What do you want me to do? Like, what? What do you what
do you possibly imagine that I have to offer you? It's a rookie
move. You made a mistake. Now you have to pay for it. Now either you
lose her, or you lose your family, or she loses her family, someone's
gonna lose something because you didn't make sure before you took
this step that there was compatibility, and you didn't look
into that first. So this is your you have to be very careful with
these. You can ask and be wise. You can find happiness with a lot
of we are programmed to be happy with majority of the people on the
planets. Just make some good choices here. There's no there is
no way for anyone's notice. Just to be clear, there is no way for
us to ever say that this marriage will 100% work. No. And the
example of Zaida Zainab is a perfect one. These two people,
great Muslims, amazing human beings, didn't work out. You can
never be sure or certain that this marriage is going to work. All you
can do is just stack the odds in the favor of this marriage
working. So choose the person who is religiously who is religiously
pious, someone from a good family, someone who is socially
compatible, someone who is financially compatible, someone
who is your parents. Stack all the odds on this side that it works,
and then say, talk and go in. Don't roll the dice on a marriage.
No, say, You know what? I'm gonna do the opposite. I'm gonna go
rogue, and I choose someone who nothing works. And you're rolling
the dice on your future. You're rolling the dice on the on your
personal happiness, and then your children. The problem is the
children that come into them. What is this poor person? What is this
poor little person? What did this poor little person do to deserve a
dysfunctional family where his parents don't like each other and
no one's no one's What did this person do? They didn't do anything
to deserve this. You know, you could have easily dodged this
bullet. You could have easily prevented this from occurring by
just asking the right question. Second point I want to make today,
which is because of the last points, we're going to finish the
Surah, the concept of kawama, because we hear in the Quran Nisa,
qawama is basically the concept of protection and provision. That's
what these two things are. The man is responsible for protection and
provision. He is not in marriage to control his spouse. You are
not, as a man, allowed to control your wife. That's not what you're
there to do. You don't have the right to do that like you're not
in a position where you're allowed to control her. You are there as a
kowam. A kowam is someone who is irresponsible for their well
being. So you're there to protect and you're there to provide now,
it doesn't mean that there's nothing on the side that of the
women that's not required. No, she's required. Abu maruf. Ba Abu
maruf is obedience when there's maruf obedience when he is doing
something that is in her best interest, that is Maru, that is
known to be, socially, a good thing. She obeys and she listens
and she follows his opinion on this matter. This is how marriage
works. He is quo. He has to protect and he has to provide and
that she has to perform.
No point within marriage is it designed for the man to be a
dictator and to control his wife? Nor is it.
Designed for the woman to mistreat her husband, to disrespect him,
and to abuse whatever he is offering no it is designed to be
fair, where we all know within our this marriage, what we're
responsible for, what we're here to do, what when I have to step
in, when it's my it's my turn to step up and do my job and when
it's yours, so that we can get things done, so that the house can
function. You can't run a company without there being a job
description for every person inside the building. I don't
understand why we think Mary's gonna work any other way. Two
people are living inside a house. Now what is what are we doing? How
is this going to work? How is this institution going to function? Who
is responsible for what here? If that is not clear, then things
don't work. There's a default within Islam, which is the
qawwamah and the Abu MAF. This is how this is the default within the
realm of these two concepts, the spouses will discuss, okay, how
much provision? If I pick up some provision, then what do you do in
return for the provision? If the woman's going to bring in 30% of
the Dakhil, a the of the income, then what is the man going to do
in in return for that? Because you're responsible for 100% of the
income as a man, if she's going to bring something in and put it in a
in a pot, altogether, we're going to put it all in one big mixing
pot, then what are you doing to make up for the 30% of income that
she's bringing in, she picked up 30% of your job, you have to go
pick up 3% of hers in order for this to be clear, or we're going
to talk about what is thought of in maruf. What is my roof to you?
Explain to me, what are you okay with? What in what situations do
you feel that you I'm safe? What is safety? What is my safety? To
You mean you have to, as a woman, ask that to the person who's
coming out the door. What does my safety mean to you? Is walking out
of the door and having a car and driving to superstore to buy
stuff. Is that safety? Do you need to be there if I need to, if I'm
going to visit my parents in the city? Do I need to let you? Need
to know that. What is it? What is safety to you? And then he'll
explain. He is not allowed to go beyond maruf. He's not allowed to
go beyond what the norm of the majority of Muslims are in the
city. That's hard to establish. If you didn't have that conversation,
I advise you have the conversation beforehand, agree on things and
then, and then make sure that you document that you talked about
these things. But if you didn't, then it will go back to the judge
who knows the Muslim judge who knows what the norm for Muslims
are. The norm for Muslims in for example, here in this city is that
a woman, a Muslim woman, is free to she has her own vehicle, and
she can drive within the city anywhere she wants at any time, to
go to any of the convenience stores or to visit people that are
family, without requiring, without requiring any form of safety or
protection. And she can take her kids. That's the norm. If a man
says, I'm not okay with this, well, then you should have let her
know beforehand, because that is the norm. That's the maruf. So you
can't come in and make this, make this command now. Now, when it
comes sometimes there's no maruf. We don't know. In terms of
traveling overseas, there's no norm here. We don't, we don't have
a norm. This is something that is based on the comfort level of the
husband. The husband may be okay with it. I'm not. For example, I'm
not. I can't even outside of the city. I'm not okay. I have to be
there. I can't protect her. I'm not I don't trust the system. I
don't trust that's my problem. You can say, well, that's not okay.
Well, that's me, and that's what my wife can she decide to accept
that or not? That's between me and her. But these things have to be
agreed upon, because there are rights here. I am responsible for
your protection. If I am telling you I don't think this is safe, I
can't protect you, then you have to accept that you have to be
unless I am being unreasonable. And in that case, it's taken to
the norm, taken to the judge, which what makes it easier is have
some of the these, some of these discussions, right sometimes, for
example, outside of North America, men, not all men, like their
women, or their or their wives working in certain places, like
having a job in certain settings, they don't like certain settings,
and he'll and that's acceptable within the norm here, if you're
coming and saying, my wife will absolutely won't work, you have to
make sure you let her know that before marriage, because that may
be a deal breaker. She may not be okay with that, that I don't that
I'm not allowed. There's a difference between I don't want
you to versus whereas you don't need it, versus I'm not I'm not
safe. I don't feel that you're safe. These words are important,
and they have to be established clearly when people are getting
married, because the kalamaru is what allows the marriage to
function protect your provider will accept judgment when it when
it's in their best interest. And this is how it's going to work. If
one of these two things don't function, well, then the marriage
becomes the marriage doesn't it's wobbly and it falls eventually. So
make sure this is a clear piece for everyone here. Those are the
points I wanted to talk about. There's a third point, but I'm
going to run out of time. I want to be able to finish the sewer
today, so we'll start. Inshallah as we go through. The third point,
I'll explain inshallah as we go through. So let's start with ayah
number eight. Allah was if you recite listen to the last three
sessions, you're going to find a lot of rulings, meaning
jurisprudence based rulings. The remainder of the surah that we're
going to recite tonight from seven.
12 has no fiqh in it. These verses are jurisprudence free. They're
not going to talk about rulings. The rulings have already been
covered in the Surah At the beginning. Now these verses are
just reminders, heavy reminders, and as we recite them, I'm going
to tell you why these heavy reminders are here because that's
what's most important. Why is it Allah didn't just end the Surah At
ayah number seven once the ended, why did he continue to go on and
give very heavy and frightening reminders? And there's a reason
for that, and I'm we're going to read Inshallah, and I'll explain
it to you. So we'll start with ayah number eight from Surat al
uzubila. He mean a shame on your body.
Bismillah. Manny Rohi, working
at an Embry Robbie, huh,
so worker a yin, that's how worker a yin. And then the noon, because
there's a mean meme after it. It just is fused into the meme. So
you work at a Yim, worker a Yim and then you give it two counts.
And then the noon, after it has a it gets another two counts. So,
okay, a Yim mil Corian, that's how it's going to sound. Okay. Yim mil
target, alright.
FAHA, seven. Where do we stop?
Okay, very good at an embryo. Be ha, well, ruling
for her seven
Shadi,
The either been no nook ra
feather
amrihas,
so waka AYin means how many times has this happened? And it's a way
to magnify and say a many times now. Waka ein means how many times
has it happened? Meaning many, many times this has happened. What
is it that happened? Min koyatin that a group of people, a
population, a city, a village, a nation, a country, whatever. Korea
is a word that is used for all of that at that is what is when
someone refuses something, when someone out of arrogance or out of
disobedience or refuses something
they disobeyed, or they turned away from AMRI Rabbi hawu sudihi,
from the command of their Lord and his
and his messengers.
So you can see this ayah. It's very different from everything we
recited over the last three weeks in Suzu Talaq. So Talaq didn't
have that didn't have that rhythm to it. So the Pollak was all
commands a skin, yeah, you want to be without Allah is now all these
all is very compartmentalized in terms of rulings and what to do.
This is different. This is something you find in a Mekki.
Surah waka ain is something you usually find in America. What
Allah is saying, How many times have I punished people? How many
times have people not listened? So it's taking us down a different
it's shifting gears a little bit. The reasoning is doing that
because these ayat are going to provide for those who are
listening a severe warning of making sure from a severe warning
from breaking the commands of Allah subhanahu wa disobeying
them. Why is that needed here? Because whether you are able to
recognize this or not,
before Islam, the rulings regarding marriage and divorce
were not like this, meaning going back to the first ayahu and Nabi
without a lock to munisa performed to lock at the right time. They
didn't care about that
Well, then give them their time that they're going to stay at
their homes. They didn't. He was divorced, thrown out of the house,
no mahr and no place to live,
right? There was no M siku hunabi marufin Oh Nabi maruf they would
hold, they would keep their their wives because they didn't. The
wives didn't have a way out. And they would do it sometimes out of
spite. And then they would perform, for example, or lihat,
which we talked about at the beginning of this, of this cluster
of students with the mujahidana. Or if they performed, Talaq.
Said, it wasn't said, and sometimes there would be no
contract involved. There's no way I didn't know one who's actually
no witnesses, and the lady would lose her rights because and the
man would could just make a claim that I never, I never married her,
and now she has a child, and now she's walking with a child that
the Father is disowning, right? Because this mattered, if a woman
had a child who's the father, if the man disowns, well, if he's if
she has a marriage contract, and there are witnesses, it's his son,
whether he whether he likes it or not, his son, whether the kid
looks like him or not. It doesn't make a difference. It's his son.
But there's no witnesses to a marriage, and he gets married,
then he just, he throws at me, he just claimed it's not his, and if
she has no witnesses, no contract, then she has no way to prove this.
This happened time and time again. This happened in Arabia a lot
before Islam this. This is why these verses are so important.
They were not they weren't getting their fair treatment when it came
to marriage. Eskinum, the man, would not spend his money
throughout the and if she was pregnant, he would stop spending
even though he is required to do when she pregnant, a skin they had
to be put in a house. She has to be taken care of during the time
this wasn't happening. That's why ruh Huna Lee told Ayah came and
said, Do not go and try and harm her, to get or apply pressure
social and financial. So she leaves. No it's her right. She has
the right to be within her, within the home supported financially for
the time that she's going to be there. He has to be treated
appropriately, because that wasn't happening, because that wasn't
happening, and because it didn't happen, and because the land was
lawless, because the land of Arabia at the time had no law, and
men could do whatever they wanted. All these bad
behaviors or bad practices emerged when you think of the concept of
what
just not something that
all of the Arabs did. By the way, it happened. Usually these
extremely horrific practices are not something that the majority of
people didn't the concept of what when they would bury a child alive
or an infant, it didn't happen very often. It wasn't something
that happened all the time, but it did happen in Arabia, and the fact
that it happened even just once is a big problem for a parent to bury
an infant that was just born alive is absolutely ethically, morally,
emotionally, un it's not something that is unimaginable. It's just
unfathomable that someone could do something like this, for it to
happen in general, me, for there to be some pattern to it, it's
even worse. But why did it happen? It happened because they were
living in a time where there was no law. There was no law. So many
did wherever they did they wanted, and women were always getting the
shorter arm of the stick, and they were always being mistreated. And
the father who didn't have wealth or power or strength or status, he
couldn't protect his daughter, so she's better off dead than being
his daughter. Are you saying the problem here a father who was
like, I, I can't protect you. Yeah, you'll, they'll come,
they'll take you away from me. They'll marry you, or not marry
you, give you a child and then disown you, throw you away. Okay?
They'll, they'll mistreat you. And I'm weak. I have no wealth, money,
I have no status, I have no power. I have no I can't protect you. So
he thinks this is how bad it got, that for a father to feel that
he's better off burying her alive, killing her, than allowing her to
grow up as his own daughter because he can't do anything for
her. That's how bad it was. This story of what this concept did,
Almada is in the Quran, of course, in the Quran is talked about some
of those Yani with Abu Shawa ahado home, Bin lad, you who must read
down? Whoa Kareem, ya tawarami, Min su ima, Abu Sharabi, ayum
siku, who Allah Hoon in amya Do su Vita Rob Allah kumun, Lila di
maharu sau. The point is the ayahuna, when they are given the
good news of having a daughter, his face turns dark, and he walks
around in agony and sorrow, hiding away from people because of the
horrible good news he was just given thinking to himself, do I
keep her in this state of humility and weakness that I'm in, or do I
just put her in the sand? Alas, what horrible Judgment they have.
And that is the way this day, of those who don't believe in the
hereafter, they have the example of evil, and Allah has the exalted
example. So he is the unfathomable. He's the wise.
Because they got so bad that men who had no status See, see, this
didn't happen in Quraysh. Qurashi leaders will never, were never
buried alive. No qurashim Quraishi, no man from Quraysh ever
buried his daughter ever because he was a man from Quraysh. He was,
he had the highest lineage of the.
Land. They were they were well protected. They're people of
Mecca. He wasn't worried about his about his daughter being
mistreated. There was enough strength. But not everyone's
strong. When not everyone's strong, what happens then the weak
Get,
get clobbered. These verses that we're going to read are telling
Arab telling the people of Muslims, you are going to listen
to what Allah has to say. You're going to follow his command. And
if you don't, if you go, if you regress back to jahili ways, if
you regress back to jahili ways, then wait for my punishment. You
will listen to what I have to say. This is, this is what these verses
are saying. Why? Because, because that was a big, a big part of what
Islam did, a big part of what Islamic ruling did is that it
provided women with laws that protected their best interest.
That is what it's a big part of what Islam did, almost the one of
the biggest, if not the biggest, a lot of Arab, not at the beginning,
not, I'm not talking during the Mekki period, during the medani
period, a lot of Arab who refused Islam refused it based on these
social changes that he was bringing, alayhi, salatu Islam,
the social reform that he, that he provided, was was not something
they wanted to be a part of. They didn't enjoy it. Suddenly, there's
all this democracy, or democratic way, meaning suddenly people who
are of less lineage and people who are poor people, they have weight.
They have equal rights. Now slaves have rights. They didn't have
rights. Now women cannot be inherited. Likely you inherit, you
inherit sofas and real estate. Now they have rights. Now they are.
They are held accountable Islamic like everyone else, and they are.
That wasn't the case in the Peninsula for a very long time,
and when these norms were changed, when that, when the Quran came,
said, No, when it comes to divorce, has to be done
appropriately. It has to be witnesses. She has her right to
stay in the house. She has the right to do you have to continue
to put your wealth. She has a time that she has to stay there. The
men like this is not what i
i This is not what I was. I don't want this anymore.
So they shied away from from
what we have today isn't any better. And I'm not talking about
Islamically speaking. We have our problems. Islamically, for sure,
Islamic countries, we have problems. I'm not. I live there.
We have problems. But what exists in the West is not any better.
It's not any better. I know we think it is. It isn't. It isn't.
Women are here. Are oppressed, in my opinion, just as badly, just as
badly, because now within the way that the Western culture
functions, she's no longer being sought after in terms of marriage.
The concept of a lady going into her mid 20s and 30s and not
getting married is a very weird one. It doesn't exist Islamically
for a lot of these rulings existed that the lady has time to grieve,
has time to choose, because usually whenever she was divorced
or widowed, immediately a husband came in immediately, read the SIR,
the Prophet, take some of the Hadith. This happened all the
time. A Sahabi would get divorced or she would be widowed within
that people would come and ask if she would be willing to accept
someone in marriage.
Now I said this before, polygamy was probably a part of that, but
it wasn't the full part of it. It's definitely not the full
picture of it. Marriage was easier to achieve.
Rules and laws regarding marriage and expectations and priorities
and obligations were clear for people, and people went forward
with it, with more and because they lived in a society where
women were not treated as objects. They weren't objectify in a way
where a man,
you see, see, there's an elephant in the room here that living in
the West, it's hard to talk about because no one wants to listen to
this. This is huge. It's not an elephant. It's a it's a blue whale
in the room. It's a blue whale in a room that no one's going to talk
about. The fact that the way women are portrayed here in this country
is so objectified to the point where men are becoming slowly
desensitized. They're becoming slowly desensitized and extremely
distracted. The fact that a man today is capable of seeing more
naked bodies within five minutes on his phone than his grandfather
saw in his lifetime is not something that you can afford to
say doesn't have any effect on the psyche. You can just act like, oh,
that's normal. It's not normal. It's not normal. It's not normal
for a young man to be able to see so much hypersexual sexuality
within such small periods of time, and for us to expect that that's
not going to have an effect on how the world is going to work and how
marriage is going to no it has an effect. It has a huge effect. A
huge part of why marriages work is the man's the main the man's drive
is the man's sexual drive, and the fact that the only way he can find
that drive, for it to be fulfilled is through marriage, through
having a partner today that's been taken away. Men find it easier to
stare at their phone than to be with their spouses. And this is
not something that I'm making up.
Can go and you can read. You can read the literature on this, the
literature that is not religious, non religious literature so you
don't think that I'm biased. No, no. You can go and read literature
that comes out of psychological and psychiatric institutions. And
listen to this from those who are experts on it, that are atheists,
that don't believe in God altogether. And they'll talk to
you about the fact that men are becoming desensitized and are
preferring they're preferring being hypersexual alone rather
than being with a spouse with another person. And that is, that
is a that's that changes things, that changes things. It changes
things for people who aren't married. It changes things for
people who are married, and it causes a big problem. So today for
us to think that it's better for what it's not better for, I don't
think it is. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think it's I think it's
just as bad. I think this, and not only is it bad for women, I think
it's bad for men too. Like back in jahili was bad for women, was fine
for men, though it was bad for him, but it was fine for men. This
not good for either. And if both are not doing well, then then
families aren't going to do well either. I mean, families stop
functioning. And we don't have that. We don't have a next
generation to learn this stuff. And that's that's kind of what I
always imagined Yom ilkayama would begin as just find the fundamental
group that's going to need to function order for this to work,
and just chip at it until it doesn't, it's not there anymore.
And yeah, you can be a good Muslim. I can be a good Muslim.
But if we don't have marriages and families that we we can use if
marriage is difficult to enter and then difficult to maintain, and
then difficult to substitute when it ends, like when it's over, it's
difficult to move onto something else, then families continue.
Families come in different forms. Families can exist in different
forms. The women can have children from previous marriage. The man
can too, and sometimes there's nothing wrong with that,
but we lost a lot of this because we won't talk about this very
specific problem. It's a problem women have been objectified. And
are you telling me that it's in the best interest of women
for there to be
a abundance of availability for men to see the most private aspect
of of women and for women to be in need of them, from a, from a from
a sexual perspective, because there's lack of marriage that is
somehow and women to continue to compete to a standard of beauty
that is not required. Never been required. It should not be
required, and is not healthy. You're telling me that's in the
best interest of a woman. This sounds to me like some diabolical
man sitting behind, playing the cards to make it and lying to him
and saying, This is what. This is in your best interest. It's better
for you. This is your liberation. And he's like, yes, please,
please, more nudeness. Please, less less commitment, please, more
ease in actually getting women in your life. This doesn't sound to
me like this, this system, because men want one thing and women want
something different. And Islam is saying, Look, we understand what
you guys want. This is what works. Because what want, what you want,
doesn't matter. It's what works. What Works is here what here's
what works. Here's the here's here's his institution that works.
See, men, women by by nature. They want to mate. That is for life.
Men don't by nature, they don't. They don't.
You're listening to me and thinking, Oh, the sheik is no, no,
no, no, no, no, no. This is all men, all across the board, from
every background, every age. Men don't if men are left to what they
want, they don't want that. They don't want a long time, lifelong
commitment. They want intimacy and they want love, but they don't
want a person that they're committed to sexually for the rest
of their lives, not by it. No chance that is not a part of what
they want they've never wanted, that they actually hate, that they
can't wait to get rid of it, and if they find a way out, they will.
This is the reality of men. Is how men have always been. You can say
they're pigs, fine. Say what you want once you get once you get
over yourself and over your ego and over the words you want to
call men, come back to reality. Here's how men are. They've always
been like that. They will always be like that. In order for us to
fix this problem, in order for this to be fixed, for us to
function, then we have to have a proper method of getting people
married, and they have to live. Men have to live in societies
where they don't have where it's not accessible for them to find
women. Because if you're married to a he's your wife, he's a human
being. If a man has access to to * and and to into something
that he shouldn't be looking at, that he cannot function with this
woman anymore. He can't be the person he needs to be. He won't
feel towards her the way he should. It's not fair to her as a
wife anymore. She won't want to be married to him, but then she loses
too, because she doesn't have that spouse that's going to be with her
for the rest of her life. This whole thing ends up collapsing
because there are certain base there are basic laws of nature, of
human nature, that we are not abiding by. Wallahi, without
religion, if you were to take Islam.
To decide if we're going to talk human nature. This doesn't work.
What we're doing here, this does absolutely doesn't work. You're
making it you make it too easy for men to see and to get what they
want. You're making it too easy. Yes, a man will calm down and
he'll want to settle down 15 years after he has taken made had his
way with with multiple partners. Of course, he'll want to do that.
He'll get tired of it after a while, only for a while, he'll get
married and fall in love, and then after that, he'll go back right
on. He want people to go out to do it again. He'll want to go and
look for something different. It's just how men are. So you have to
set things up in a way where women are protected. What we have right
now is not, it's not protecting it's not protecting women. It's
not it's actually making it more difficult for a woman to hold on
to her husband, because he has so many options, and because he's
able to do things that people couldn't do long time ago. See,
when a man has other options, they can just turn on his phone, look
at stuff, or there are women who are basically throwing themselves
and they have very little dignity. Can do whatever he wants, then he
has a way to remove the urge that is there inside of him. 24/7,
sleeps for zero minutes a day. It only sleeps after he comes back
every way. So since he has that other options, that means he's not
going to be directing this towards his wife. When he has it directed
towards his wife, he has to compromise. So hard headed men
become a bit easier to deal with because he wants something,
because he finds something with his wife that he can't find
somewhere else. So he's more reasonable. When you remove that,
they become less reasonable. I watch it all the time. I see guys
or, you know, quick, I want to end this. Why you want to
end this? She's, she's why
this is human being. You human being on every level, a lovely
human being. Why? He has too many options. He doesn't feel like he
has to compromise anything a man who doesn't have options and all
the way for him to is through his wife. Well, she's not going to
there's going there has to be something. There has to be a
compromise. He has to make things up to her. He has to make her they
have to make each other happy. And when they keep on making each
other happy, then eventually they will that love will grow. We're
losing a lot of this stuff. This is not coming from me as a person.
This is coming from couples therapists within the world. These
are a couple of therapists talking about the change in the nature of
the problems they are dealing with when they're talking to spouses
100 years ago versus today. Within 100 years, the literature has
changed so dramatically for for those who work on spouse
relationships, to the point where it's almost a completely different
science. It's almost a completely different discipline. It's like if
you were a therapist 100 years ago, you could not function today,
because the nature of the problems are completely different,
unheard of even, like, they're not even unheard of. They're so rare,
like the rarities of the problems between spouses 100 years ago are
the norms of today, the rarities, meaning the problem, the oh, this
is a very rare problem. We have a specialist who will help you out
now, that one now, this is the norm. This is the norm, and it's
coming from the lack of us understanding. This is my opinion.
I believe that today is no no better than it was in jahiriya.
It's the same problem as Muslims. We have the the we have the key.
We have the solution. We have the solution to fix things, to make
society function in a way where marriages actually work and women
are protected. Men get what they want, what they need, within their
household, and women are protected as well. And these verses that
we're going to reciting, that's all they're doing, is just warning
you, beware. Do not make do not take what I'm explaining to you
lightly, or else punishment is coming, and that's what they're
for. That's that's their sole purpose. And how many nations,
cities and populations
they turn their back to the commander of their Lord and His
prophets,
FAHA, Sabah, hisab and Sharia, and we held them accountable in the
most difficult manner. WA
and we punishment and punish them in the most difficult punishment,
nuqara, the most heinous of punishments,
fad wabala, amriha and that nation,
it reaped the consequences of the mistakes that they made. So it's
not this is not so when he says that Subhana wa taala, he's no
longer talking about like an asteroid hitting them, or like a
earthquake killing them all, or a vocano basically turning them to
love. No, it's talking about that you're going to be punished and
you're going to be held accountable, and held accountable
in the most in the worst way. But it's going to happen through time.
It's going to happen. It's going to happen through Father amriha.
You will reap the consequences of the choices that you made, of the
evil choices you make. You will see the constant. You'll live them
wakanna to amriha and.
The outcome of all of the choices that you made. AMR is your issue,
your manner, your matter. That's what Amur means. So your choice
is, your decision is the way you lived. What kind of Aqal is the
outcome, the outcome of your matter? Their matter was salah.
Was complete loss.
Everyone lost. There was a generic loss that happened to everyone.
This is what he's saying here. Subhanho, tada, it's very they're
very heavy. Verses, why? Because he's saying, don't, don't play
with this. There was oppression happening back then no more. There
will be fairness. You will treat them right, and you will do this
correctly. Now, we stopped doing that just in a different way. We
just did it in a different way, where
I find this worse, because at least back then, they knew they
were oppressed, like when back then knew they were oppressed. Now
they don't know now they don't even know that they're oppressed.
They don't even know that what, what they're living, is not
healthy. It's not fair to them. It's not it's not correct. They
don't know that like they're in a position, oh no, this is, this is
the right. It's not. This is not better back it's one thing for you
to be in a state of oppression and know that you're oppressed, versus
being in a state of oppression, you think it's fine. And that goes
for all of the West, in the West in general, not just within this
topic in general. We think we have our freedoms, and we think we are
this, and we think we're not. We're none of that. When I lived
in Syria, at least, I knew what I didn't have and what I did. I knew
what I had and what I didn't have. I knew what what our limits were.
It was clear. Was out there, the open here is just we're eluded for
a long time. We think that we're being treated fairly. We think
that we're not being ripped off. We think that we have our
freedoms, and we don't. We really don't, you really don't. I think
this is something worthy of contemplation within these verses.
Let's continue the law. Who love
Shadi,
the law
be Levin, Man who
him begin.
Yeti,
soli, hatinavo, METI,
mean, below him.
You the hill. Who? Jen
So, watch out for the sukuna on the boat on both women, you mean,
below him to the sukuna on the noon. That's why there's a Huna
with the BA and then why? Yeah, Mel folly and the lamb, and then
you the hill. Who? And that's because the sentence is a
conditional sentence. Whenever you have conditional sentences, a lot
of you'll see this pattern, holy Dina, Fina.
Long hula, who? Continues,
subhanAllah, Abdullah hula hum Allah subhanahu prepared for them
a shadida, a horrible punishment. That means that what he talked
about in the verses that we just recited before was not in Akhila,
it was in dunya. So when he said, Subhanahu wa Taala that Wakaya,
how many populations or nations or groups of people, they turned
their back to the command of their lords and his prophets, fahana
hai, Saban Shadi, they were held accountable horrifically, while
they were punished horrifically. That was all in dunya, father
amriya, and then they they tasted and they saw the consequences of
their evil doings all Wakana akhiba to amriha, and the outcome
of their mistakes was a loss. All of that was in duniya, because he,
right after that, says, Abdullah has prepared for them a shadida,
severe punishment, which is going to be on the Day of Judgment. All
of that was in dunya, all of the loss, the consequences, the
accountability, the punishment, I was going to happen in dunya. It
was going to happen as consequences of what you did.
You're going to feel pain. You're going to see agony. There's going
to be suffering, there's going to be lack of functionality.
People are going to be depressed and miserable and oppressed and
mistreated because you didn't do this right? So no one's going to
be happy, no one's going to be able to function properly. No
one's going to find their their no one's going to be happy inside
their inside their own minds or their own bodies or in their own
households, because you decided to mess with the balance of it all,
because he explained to you what to do. And listen, this happens,
and then on the Day of Judgment, Allah has prepared a severe
punishment.
So what the law? How many times now, right? How many times in
Suratul,
right? We've looked at this. How many so the first ayah, Allah,
subhanaw, taala, what takula, harap, bakum, and then in the
second ayomaya, takila, Haya, jala, Huma Raja. And in the fourth
ayah, umayyat ala haya allahum. And the fifth ayah, Taqa firahan,
husay, ATI wa yorah, right? And then again, fat talaha, taqwa, the
concept of piety, the concept of mindfulness of God, of thinking
before you make a decision of making sure that you're going to
put the satisfaction of Allah and the contempt of Allah, subhanaw
taala in your mind before you make a decision, especially
specifically his contempt, to make sure that you're going not going
to do something is going to harm you later. Taqwa is preventative.
Is to prevent harm fat. Taq prevent, prevent prevent yourself
from being in a position where it's all loss and it's all
punishment. Don't, don't do this. Who ya? Uli, Al Bab. Al Bab is the
plural of lub. Lub is intellect. Yeah. Al Bab, those who are Yeah,
you have intellect, those who understand, those who have brains,
basically those who can understand. Can comprehend what's
being said. If you have a brain, listen and make sure this is a big
deal. When you mess with this balance, it's a problem Fattah,
Allah,
the ones who believe so, if you're someone who has some degree of
intellect and you believe in Allah, take what he is saying here
in sutta palahka very seriously. Take this concept of marriage and
divorce and all that comes with it, very seriously.
But the ends that Allahu, ilaikum, diqah, indeed, Allah has descended
upon you a reminder. What is the reminder? Rasulan? So the word
rasulin is this whole ayah, this long ayah is explaining the word
diqah, but Allah has descended upon you a reminder, something to
remind you, tell you need to do. What is it? Rasulullah, a prophet,
a messenger, yet he's almost upon Allah. In not so many words. He's
almost saying that the reason that I sent him and I gave him the
Quran is just so that you learn this, that you don't make this
mistake, that you don't go back and regress back to a time where
you're oppressive, where you're mistreating them again. Are you
going to mistreat your women again? Where you ruin marriage and
you ruin divorce again? Don't regress back to this. I have sent
you a reminder in the form of Rasul and a messenger yet Lu Alain
reciting upon you the clear verses of Allah mubay, not the clearing
verses. They're not just clear in their own essence. They're going
to clarify things for you. He recites upon you the verses of
Allah that are clear and that will clarify things for you.
Why, with the purpose of removing Raj is to remove something from
some, from somewhere, Liu krija Ladin, in order for it to remove
the believers, those who want to believe in Allah, want to, want to
abide by Allah, Subhanahu wa rules those who want to do good deeds of
the Dina Aman Muhammadu, salihat, from a state of darkness to a
state of enlightenment, right? Not many times in the Quran is this
phrase used another time it is used is in the Surah a nur that
talks about Zina at the beginning of it, and talks about accusing
women of adultery unlawfully, right? Again, you see this, it's a
simple pattern
that surah was called Anur, where Aisha radila was talked about, and
the concept of it was talked about there. It's called a Nur. You want
an enlightened society. You stay away from this, you don't make
these mistakes again. At the end of sutur Tala, he says the same
phrase again, to remove you from a state of darkness to a state of
enlightenment.
This is a big part of our deen.
This is a big part of our deen. Sexual ethics and morals and
rulings are a big part of Islam,
and they are one of the major differences between us and the
Western civilization. They're a huge difference point. We don't
agree on this. This is where you say. La comdi, no. Kumali, Adi,
no, no, no, we don't see eye tie on any of it. You're okay with
things that we are absolutely not okay with. You're okay with things
from a sexual perspective, when it comes to sexual relationships
between men and women, and in general, that we are absolutely
not okay with. We see this as not just an issue of legality. We see
it as an issue of morality as well. It's a state of darkness.
And a state, a state of enlightenment. We have to be clear
on this. As Muslims in this society, I don't know how, but we
have to. We're a bit late to the party, though.
We came to the party 40 years late. They've already established
what they wanted to establish, and they decided that, no, no, this is
fine. Sexual relations can be open. It doesn't matter, men,
women, men, men, men, men, women, women, women, women, men, door,
women. It doesn't matter whatever you want to do it however. Kids
can be born into families with no with different doesn't matter.
Marriage is not that important. And people can This is not we
don't we don't see that. We don't see this. We don't agree with
that. It's clear cut this. Really, I know it's hard, like I work in
hospital. It's not easy. It's not easy. But, and I'm not saying that
we're going to we discriminate against people or we discriminate
No, but we have to be clear in terms of the difference of the of
the of the law that we believe in, and we have to have our rights as
Muslims to believe in this and not to have our kids indoctrinated in
ways where, where they lose that. And we are very far away from that
right now, but, but you just read this Latina, this is not as
simple. This is a phrase, a big phrase in the Quran no volumatino.
You don't find it in many places. There's always something in it
that
refers to that oppression that was regarding marriage and men, women,
relationships
and sexual based relationships. Omey and those who believe in
Allah wali had performed the deeds they are. They're required to
perform yud Hill who you'll have them enter SubhanAllah. He will
have them enter Jannat in tajirim in tahti nafia. But they will
enter gardens with the with the rivers running under them for all
of eternity,
and Allahu alazka, that person Allah, has indeed made a beautiful
and perfect provision for them in Jannah, this amazing provision
that they offer them. So Allah, not only did so he started these
verses by warning. How many times have people not listened to my
commands, and then they lost in dunya, and then they lost you milk
qiyama. So all of you who believe and have intellect, we have Taqwa
from this, prevent this from happening. We have already sent to
you a reminder. We sent you a messenger who recited for you
verses that are clear, that clarify things for you, to remove
you from darkness to enlightenment. So those of you who
accept it and practice it will enter Jannat in Tajiri, Minta for
all eternity with amazing provision. These verses are
breaking down the whole story. And look, you have to listen to this.
You can't afford not to. That's what these ideas say. You have to
listen to my commands in sutup, Talaq, in Surat Talaq. Why
specifically there? Because this is where you have to listen. You
have to make sure you do this right. You have to make sure the
marriages are done right, and the divorces when needed, are done
right, and people cannot be oppressed.
And if you do, if you don't, then we're in trouble. Then that
removal from darkness to enlightenment is gone. We're
already seeing it. Our households aren't as strong anymore. We don't
have our households aren't as strong anymore. Our young men and
young women aren't getting married as frequently, as early as they
should, as appropriately as they should. Their marriages aren't as
strong as they should. Their families aren't as big as they
used to be. There's a lot of things that we're losing. We're
losing ground as I speak, as I speak to you. We're losing ground
here, I don't know, because we didn't listen to this. We didn't
listen to the severity of the warning in these verses at the end
of suto. Let's recite the last Allah, the Holocaust. What you
mean.
Yet and as a little am Ruben,
Lita, lemu and Mohalla,
in
a
Allah.
And the last verse in the surah, he presents himself to you,
subhana wa taala, he buys himself credibility with you, saying, This
is why you should listen to me, because I am Allah who created the
seven heavens and from the Earth's similar to them, meaning Asmaa, as
much sky there, as much as there is sky, there are Earths there
too. As much as there are skies, there are Earths, as in planets
and and stars. Saba, as he
sends his commands, he just explained to you.
Through all of them,
just searing through, just soaring through all of them, through all
of these creations. His command that he sent you is coming through
to you the Alamo and Allah, because he's the creator of all of
them, Italy and ALLAH, so that you will have continue to have the
certainty and the knowledge that he is omnipotent, subhanAllah,
he's capable of all, and that he has encompassed everything with
his knowledge. Why this ayati And the sutta palak, just in case your
argument? Well, maybe he doesn't know what he's doing. No, he knows
what he's doing. No, he knows what he's doing. He created the seven
heavens and the seven Earths, meaning he created the cosmos
subhanahu wa taala, and he sent these teachings to you through the
cosmos, because he is omnipotent and capable of all, and he knows
all. He is the omniscient Subhana. He knows what works for you and
what doesn't work for you, and what you will benefit from and
what you won't benefit from. So listen, I don't have another
example in the Quran that is as powerful in warning and reminding
people at the end of a series of commands, like there are a series
of commands in the Quran and reminders, this is by far the most
powerful of them, all right, the most powerful of all the reminders
that exist after commands in the Quran is here at the end of
sutupalak, where he warns of loss and punishment in dunya. And he
warns of loss and punishment on the day of judgment. And then he
speaks to the intellectual Muslims and tells them, I have warned you.
So listen to what I have sent you. Listen to the listen to the
reminders. Listen to the verses I am removing you from from
darkness, and I'm putting you enlightenment. You need to listen
to this so that I may give you the highest of ranks. And if you
don't, then the creator of the cosmos, who sent these commands,
who was capable of all and who was omniscient, will have his word
with you. And
if that doesn't send you back a bit, then I don't know what else
will but that's what this surah teaches, so that we follow these
teachings regarding marriage and divorce, and we are at our best
behavior through all of it. I hope that was a benefit to you,
Inshallah, and with that, we'll start with Tahiri mahalo next
week. So Allah Muhammad.