Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Why is Lying so Bad
AI: Summary ©
The importance of truthfulness in Islam is discussed, including the need for individuals to confirm their faith and become better assessors in the field. The speakers stress the importance of lying and being careful about giving negative feedback, as well as the use of sharia and sharia to tell people to stop at a certain point and avoid negative comments. The speakers also emphasize the importance of listening to enemies and reflect on actions to avoid distraction, and the importance of changing the subject of one's statement to avoid mistakes and criticism.
AI: Summary ©
hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala so you didn't
want to sit in our
H Marine, Amma Bert
you are living in a duckula a coronal mass
of people who believe it duckula
A fear of Allah subhanaw taala
and try to be with the truthful ones. Being with the truthful ones
is because of the company that you will benefit from. People who are
truthful in their tongue will generally try to be truthful to
Allah subhanaw taala as well.
What happens with people who
truthfulness is a very important factor.
And if truthfulness is not learnt
it can be quite detrimental.
That even so called respectable individuals, dignified
individuals, sometimes who people may honor for other reasons. And
we're not talking about evil peoples. I'm talking about people
who come to the masjid people who have a decent standing in the
community people who may even be part of the committee's running
managing the Masjid. So, people are certain influence as well.
They
if
this company is not found, or if from a young age, falsehood is not
eradicated, eradicated,
and truthfulness is not a important aspect in their life. Or
it's just a conceptual aspect as opposed to a realistic aspect.
Then,
life becomes full of falsehood, even without realizing it.
People will become what they call compulsive liars, without
realizing that they are a liar. If the if I'm assuming that if they
heard about yarn or a lecture, or a talk on lying, they probably
wouldn't even apply to themselves.
They think, yeah, that's a nice idea. You know, this needs to be
spoken about, but I don't think it applies to me, I don't lie. It
becomes such a second nature to lie, to get out of situations, to
get your way to make yourself look better, to get what you want
to never get in trouble. And you don't even realize that that
applies to me.
You won't realize it. And this is what the deception of the soul.
This is the deception of the knifes
lying is something that is such a big problem in Islam. In fact, the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has mentioned so many
simple things about language you've heard before. To the extent
that he's literally said that you can't be a Muslim and a liar. It
doesn't go together.
I think I think what it is,
is that the reason why Islam and lying cannot go together is Islam
is about Iman, Islam is to be technical Islam is the outer
expression.
That's how you define Islam generally, although Islam means
the whole package because you can't have the external without
the internal to be valid. So it's all packaged. But Islam is
actually the external aspect. And Ema is the internal aspect.
Because when Jabril Ali salaam, asked what is Imani Iris? Will
Allah He mentioned all the belief aspects, the internal beliefs. I
believe in Allah the last day and so on. That's all Imani.
So that's something that kind of happens from the heart and the
mind and outer expert aspects the external aspects, they are the
outer expressions that your body will give based on the conviction
Iman inside. So
why is truthfulness so integral to Islam? Because
Iman is defined as the stick.
The stick in Arabic comes from the word Sikh, which means
truthfulness.
And the stick means to confirm something is true, to recognize
truth. And if a person has really recognized if a person has really
recognized the truth,
then that means
they are proper believers. They've understood what truth is, then
they should understand what truth is for themselves. If you can
cut the evil from the Huck and understand who Allah is and cut
through that darkness and have sidc in that sense, then you
should have set in your heart about everything else in the
world. If you've been able to understand one of the one of the
most important things you should be able to understand everything
else as well. So sit
and truthfulness is very integral to our faith. It's part of what
makes us
increase as believers or decrease as believers. Because Iman, is
that conviction
in something, and our conviction is in the Oneness of Allah in
declaring his oneness. The more that Iman was strengthened, the
more we'll be convinced about that, that distinction will be so
clear that this is the Hawk, and that's the bottom. So we become
better assessors, and thus, we should become better assessors in
truthfulness for ourselves are not. So that will totally deny
somebody being a compulsive liar.
This is something that hit me much later, when I dealt with an
individual.
And he's a dignified individual. He wanted me to do something for
him
performing Nikka for one of his children or something like that.
And
basically, you know, he, he told me too, that this is what you have
to do. Number one, number two, number three, there's three things
you're going to have to do in life. Right, you will do all those
three things. I said, Okay, fine.
But then after that, when you do any kind of masjid, you have to
work with committees, they weren't going to allow all these three to
happen.
So then the committee spoke to me that you can only do number three,
number one, and number two is already somebody is taking care of
that, which is fine.
So I went back to this person.
And I said, this is what happened. And, you know, there's too much
confusion here about this.
And he said, I never told you to do unto anyway, to start with.
And it's just like the earth just not because I'm taken aback by
because I can't do it. Besides the point.
It's more about the fact that how can somebody lie so straight. And
I don't think he intended to this is this is this is what it is, I
don't think he intended to lie. He wasn't going to win anything or
lose anything is going to save his face, that's all. And then I said
that you told me you've been telling me for three weeks. And
then he said, Maybe I did say that to you.
And I was just, I said, I can't do this anymore. This is I can't deal
with lying, just so blatantly.
But from this what, you know, what you understand is that to cover
yourself up to defend yourself, if you're a compulsive liar, you will
lie out of your teeth, you will just lie. You won't recognize your
lying, you will recognize it afterwards, if the person pushes
you otherwise, it's a defense mode.
It's a defense measure.
But you can only do that if lying has become a nature for you.
And politicians are the best at it.
They know what to say or what the right time. And
to be honest, you could probably become such a good liar.
But clever about it, or particular about it better? In a sense that I
think probably politics is probably a bit more
you can say
refined I think they've probably had some training that you can't
lie, because you'll be caught out because now people are recording
things nowadays. So I think they're they bend words or be
selective. I think that's a different type of talking. That's
not It's not pure lying. I don't think this is just pure, blunt
lying. So the person did change the story afterwards. But the
initial reaction when he's put into a position, because when I
said I'm not going to do the Nikkor anymore, it's like the
ground just opened up in Hungary, like, how can you do that? I
didn't tell you that. You know, like, it's a defense mechanism.
But I felt really, it just took a lot of effect on me that how can
I? And I was thinking why would somebody do that? Why would
somebody do that?
But it's just become like and then when you look at that hadith that
speak about lying,
then it makes perfect sense. And the prophets, Allah some said this
in many occasions.
He said, you can just be considered to be a liar, just by
conveying everything you hear.
So you listen to things, we hear things every day. Now when I'm
next I'm sitting in a gathering and I'm, I have to contribute.
Because you know, when we sit with people and someone is speaking,
they would like to speak. You know, many of us don't stay quiet.
We like to speak. So, we'd like to contribute. So what are you going
to contribute? You're going to contribute the the saucy things
that you've heard in the last week. That's what you're going to
Generally that's what people do, isn't it? Now the things that
you've heard, Have you verified it or not?
If you haven't verified it, then you could end up being a liar
without realizing here. So this one is you don't know you're
lying. You're, you genuinely think and I heard this, but the prophets
Allah is telling you that you should be particular Allah says in
the Quran Yeah, you have ladina
with
Elijah confessor convener, but in fact debate, you know, if a
transgressor comes to you with some news information, then the
way you know, find its clarity, get its clarity, understand
whether it's real, what's the what's the story behind it?
We have to determine now we this, how do you determine somebody's a
facet? Somebody with weird hair? Is that a facet?
Somebody who's openly committing Zina? Is that a facet Kony, is
there a transgressor.
Clearly here, that's not just the kind of people but that's meant,
it's telling us to be discerning.
It's telling us to be careful about these things.
So the Sharia wants us to have a message, a temperament and
understanding to be very truthful, and to not convey things
and to stop at a particular position. Because sometimes in
conversation, we
have to contribute, or we have to say something, because it's
important to clarify a particular point. But then, to get to a point
where to stop at a point before it gets to LIBOR is very important.
And that's where a lot of people don't make that distinction. So
sometimes we have to say that, you know, so and so I've met him or
this, that and the other, but then it's to stop without even giving
any insinuation or indication that there's something negative about
him, if that's not needed, if it's needed, where there's a business
proposal, or some kind of marriage proposal or something, and you
need to tell them that look, be careful of the flag or something,
then it has to be related. But otherwise, sometimes what happens
is that you have to mention someone to someone for some other
reason, unrelated. But the knifes and the shaytaan will tell us to
add the other saucy bits because this is the nature of the person
they like to add. That's where you have to stop
and say, No, if I go beyond here, one of the people who highlight
this, who you'll understand this full, distinct who really opens
these things up is Imam Ghazali Rahim Allah.
He is I don't know, he's so experienced with this, that he's
got all these scenarios, and he knows exactly he must have seen,
they must have observed that these are people with penetrating
insight they, they take a lot of lesson from people around them.
And they see this and they're able to make that distinction all the
time. He was another one who was like that Rahim Allah.
But in this path, you can be doing your liquor.
And you can be making your Salawat. And we can have a dodgen.
But if we're then releasing all that good from the way we speak,
which is by lying, without even realizing you're lying, because
you're compulsive liar.
Lying is a defense mechanism for you, it just comes on quite
automatically.
And as I said in the beginning, it is such a thing that if they're
hearing a talk online, they won't even apply it in them to
themselves, I guarantee you, that's why they're not gonna
change.
Because that's a level of ignorance, which is called a
compound ignorance or you don't know that you don't know about
this, that this applies to you.
Only when you've been even when you've been caught in a position
like this, it's still a defense mechanism, you're probably still
deluded.
That that was fine for me to do because nobody's pointed it out to
you. With those examples, you have to be really particular about
these things. Sometimes this happens with all of us.
For example, once in Masjid, Koba in taraweeh and winter between
Turabian winter I gave a little two minutes one minute talk about
not laying your elbows on the ground
is one of the things I think our people are very behind and they
will lay their hands on the ground.
And when the Arab see that, it's just they just don't What are you
guys doing? I mean, even big, big people are the Muslim and they put
their hands on the ground. It's just not for some reason not one
thing we focus on too much. Whereas in Hadith or Muslim, you
mentioned clearly don't know your, your forearms on the ground, like,
like dogs do. Very clearly. So
I mentioned it. And I also said,
because I know that it'll just pass over people's heads because
we don't think we do wrong
A lot of the time, it's just become a treat like that.
So I said, if you do notice somebody doing that, then after
salah, just remind them and I said, Now we're going to do with
her, just try to make sure. So, in front of me on in the first row
we're talking about,
I saw after the winter, finish them.
One man telling the next man, I learned man, that your arms are on
the ground, and he was surprised. He's a nice gallery, he's
surprised. So even though I've just heard a lecture, you've just
had a point about it. That trait now, still did not do it. Because
it's so second nature to us to do it.
So until it's not pointed out, it's not going to get corrected,
you can listen to all the bands you want.
Yes, if the band's about Xena and you're doing Xena, you're gonna
get that big dinner, you know, you're going to understand that,
but with anything else is going to be difficult.
These are the hidden traits that they say can only this is a whole
reason why the sofa set up to deal with these smaller traits. Because
until you stay in somebody's company, and they notice in a few
interactions with you, that you have a problem with this, who else
is going to point to your friends are going to point this out
sometime? Yes, if you kind of get aggressive with this idea, you're
always lying. But then you're gonna think it's just an attack on
us, or you're gonna listen to them.
It's just a fight. So this is just exaggeration. So you're gonna
listen to them.
And shaytaan is they're trying to justify everything, and honesty is
trying to satisfy everything.
So you need a sincere friend Hamdulillah. If you have a sincere
friend, then that works very well, along with the shake that you
have. But that's what you will learn from being with a shake that
cares. And that will point these things out. That is discerning. As
I'm on a time with the people he made were all top people. Because
he was extremely particular. That's why if you look at all of
his whole of
every single one of them, there's no complaints about any one of
them.
Because and the last one who really played his part was mana
Abravanel HOXA, who is known to be probably even more than Mala
Tommy, in terms of particularity.
He would come in a masjid. And even if he heard that Advan being
said wrong or slightly extended, even the karma the salah people
would be wouldn't want to give a karma to lead the prayer because
of that. And he's very particular about things.
So how do we get rid of these things?
That's the question.
So two things which are most important to think about for us
which are critical. Lying has to come out of our life
in any way, shape, or form.
Some of the questions I receive a
Can we lie
to our parents so that they don't get angry with us?
I mean, in Hadith, they allow lying in about three places. One
is between couples, husband and wife to keep the peace.
Another one is to reconcile between two people.
So you go and say, he actually thinks good about, yes, some
praise. Look, you've had problems, but he deep down he does.
He may not. Or he may have slightly or you know, whatever
you're just trying to. But you have to have tact in that.
Otherwise, you're going to be called a big liar afterwards,
especially husband and wife, you don't want to use this lying thing
because eventually it's gonna get caught up. People aren't silly,
they're not stupid, right? You might be able to get away with it
once. But eventually when they find out then they'll say every
time you've said that to me, then it becomes mistrust that's even
worse.
So if you lie to try to reconcile, and they find out, then what's
going to happen
so it's with husband and wife, we have to be more honest than with
anyone else. But of course you can't. I mean, there are some
things are probably harmful to reveal to people sometimes.
So one thing is, how do we decide that we have a problem with lying?
And the only way we can do that unless somebody points it out for
us is to listen to our enemies when they do criticize us to
listen to criticism and reflect you don't have to. If you feel
like it's an ego issue in front of the
in front of the
the person himself then don't You don't need to say anything there
but go back
and think about it.
Think Why is he saying that, because generally whenever
somebody criticizes us, they exaggerate.
So if they've exaggerated, well just drop 50% of the off and the
other 50%, then you must, there must be something to do with it.
So there must be an element of what they're saying maybe not
exactly the way they're doing it because people exaggerate when you
criticize others to make it bigger.
That's another tact as well. Like if you have to criticize somebody,
as a person of ALLAH SubhanA, WA, tada, you have to be particular as
to be surgical, very particular of how you criticize someone.
And if you exaggerate in there, you have to be honest, that I'm
exaggerating.
Because you put your if you make a person feel worse than he is, or
make a person feel, then that's also problematic. If there's a
criticism, you have to be particular about the criticism.
But if you get caught out lying between husband and wife, then
it's going to create greater distrust mistrust, than then
that's more harmful.
So lying has to stop.
So one is the way is to listen, and reflect.
And number two is to continuously introspect.
And to have reflection, the way to create reflection is to listen to
Islam, he lectures, or read Islam, he books.
That's why magazine, he wrote what he did more than a ton me and
others wrote what they did, just so people could read this and
reflect over it.
The second point I was talking about
was that you're sitting and gathering.
And you start speaking about someone.
And then
it goes into lever.
Now, this happens, even when everybody's sitting there is
trying to be particular. So we're not talking about a normal
gathering. I mean, there it's, there are no, there are no limits,
you know, people just speaking, how would you? How would you deal
with something like that?
Without kind of turning on attention to you by saying
brothers, we shouldn't do it. But how would you deal with something
like that?
Where you're discussing something, and then it just goes into
disparaging somebody for no reason? No reason whatsoever? It's
just making fun of someone just having a laugh about someone. How
would you deal with that?
I think
one thing that comes to mind is what you do, you change the
subject, tactfully. Something more interesting, but less haram.
That's one way to do it.
Yesterday, I was discussing with someone, but a particular
individuals discussion came up,
you know, who
it was, it was about a particular job role and said, Who does this
here in this area. So he said so and so.
And
then I mentioned something that I've had some interaction with
this individual as well.
And I've had some negative interaction as well. But I didn't
see the reason to bring that up right there. That he's not very
trustworthy. That was the point. But his discussion had come in
tangentially to the topic. So it wasn't about whether somebody had
to hire him or not, it wasn't about that.
If that was the case, then I'd say look, from an employer's
perspective or from a person who's worked with him his perspective,
then be careful, because he could just leave anytime and leave you
in the lurch.
But I just wanted to mention, I know this person, and I've worked
with him. That's all I mentioned.
And then
I was careful not to mention the next point, because why should I
give him rewards? Why should I decrease my rewards giving
somebody rewards? Maybe I'll have a point of altruism there. But why
should I decrease my rewards?
So
another person who was there as well, he said,
he mentioned study mentioned something negative.
And I said, I think we're going into inhibits mode. But I could
get away with saying that there because they were all aroma that
were there.
And they understand. And I know they're going to take this
seriously. So you can say that they but if you try to say that in
a general gathering, rather we're doing here but then it'll all turn
on you. Generally, unless they're respectable individuals, they have
respect for you that is different. So the other way to do it is what?
Change the subject.
What else can you do? You could walk away, you don't have to go
and you could walk away. But the problem is that sometimes there's
not the good things that are happening there where you want to
stay there. You can't walk away you know you're in a
person's houses, something like that, and you can't walk away.
There's that as well.
Once we're sitting at a funeral house, going to do ties here.
So there was another individual there who, for some reason,
had some gripe with another individual.
When people have gripes with people, they will bring that up,
that will become their pet topic, wherever it is, they won't look at
the situation they won't be. So it's wrong anyway, to criticize
other people in front of others for no reason, especially just to
vent your anger for whatever reason. So I don't even know this
person that he's speaking about, I don't even know and the other
guy's there. And some of the family members are sitting there.
And he started on the subject. But now who's going to tell him to be
quiet? He's a guest at the end of the day.
Now, one is you could tell him off and say, Brother, this is totally
wrong, whatever, you could say that. But then, if he's such a
negative person, he's probably going to start off on you.
Because I said, Look, you know, I don't really know the person
you're speaking about. And it doesn't really matter anyway. And
I think this kind of discussion is probably not appropriate with
these guys who are mourning right now.
And they kind of start shaking their heads, I think he got the
message.
There, I could probably say it because he thinks I'm Mufti sub.
So you know, you have some respect. But how do normal people
do it, that's what I'm trying to say.
You know, as a position as an animal is the most the it's
easier. People look up to you. So you can get away with telling
people off or admonishing or stopping something. But we're
talking for all of us, not everybody has that position. So
you're sitting there, right? They don't know you do some thicker or
whatever.
But you that you want to avoid these things. So you have to find
a tactful way of dealing dealing with them. I think one of the ways
is to change the change the the topic. And if you can, if they are
gonna listen to you then say, Look, I don't think this is
massive. So you don't want to offend them at the same time,
although you can if you want to. But we don't want to offend them
at the same time as well. So then they start, every time they see
you, then they say, Oh, that guy's such and such a kind of person.
They think that you're trying to be self purifying, and things of
that nature, because you have to live in this world. So you have to
be careful about these things.
But the lesson for today is very simple.
These hidden problems in our heart, and we haven't even started
on ego and desire and all these other things, if just lying can be
so compulsive in our hearts, that people will just lie and say
things.
It's almost like a child lying.
You know, children at a young age.
If they lie,
they lie so blatantly
that you know they're lying, but they'll just lie.
Because they they're not deceptive yet. Deception comes in much
later. Lying comes in before deception. That's what the study
showed. They did it on the school children in Africa.
So lying came before deception. It was just just like a survival kind
of lying. And it looks like these guys have not grown up from that.
This is what they're doing because they're lying. And the guy in
front of you knows you're lying.
But you don't really bring those deceptive. Lying is where you put
yourself into the other person's mind. And you lie according to
that. So that's a very ingenuous, creative, clever liar. They're the
best liars because you don't even know they're because they put
themselves in your mind. And they have lied according to that. So
they played with you. But these other people, compulsive liars,
they don't even know they're lying.
She's like a child lying. It's like, obviously, he's wet. Have
you wet yourself? No, I haven't. It's obvious. You've read it
yourself. You know, but the chatter that you can understand
that with kids, but you can't accept that with adults.
May Allah subhanaw taala remove lying for us.
For the mistakes we've made, may Allah subhanaw taala not
take us to task for those because
the Hadith mentions that a person lies until he becomes written,
documented, recorded as a lie according to Allah as a frequent
liar. Gab. Gab is a untruthful person. Gab is somebody who
frequently lies normal to lie frequently and abundantly and he
becomes written as a lie in front of Allah subhanaw taala.
That line will not allow your iman to prosper. That's why it's so
detrimental because Iman is based on truthfulness.
So then you will start tricking Allah Subhan
an otologist you know in terms of what you're supposed to do what
you're not supposed to do
these things are pervasive. Alhamdulillah allinial Arlindo
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so you didn't know her mineral about eco Salam.
O Allah, O Allah, allow us allow your baraka to expand over this
measureless Oh Allah allow us to receive your blessings of Allah
allow us to be associated and connected with you. Oh Allah,
allow our hearts to be connected with you and our hearts to be
constantly focused on you throughout the day. And throughout
the night. Whether we're standing, sitting or lying down whatever
activity we're in, Oh Allah, Oh Allah, grant our hearts Your love
and ourselves, your love and the love of those who love you. Oh
Allah, Oh Allah, we ask that You grant us the Tofik to have good
good companions and good people we sit with and we deal with and we
interact with Allah, Oh Allah, there are many good people in the
world of Allah, we ask that you give us a Tofik to be surrounded
by such people. Oh Allah that you make us and our circles of friends
good. Oh Allah, Oh Allah that you make us in our circle of
colleagues, so full of
CO students and co workers. Oh Allah, you grant them the Tofik Oh
Allah, Oh Allah, we ask that you contest.
You grant us guidance and you make us the guides of those who are
guided and accept us for the service of your deen of Allah we
have a short life in this world allow us to use it to its highest
potential for the sake of you. Oh Allah, Oh Allah. We have a short
life in this world. Who will end very soon. Oh Allah allow us to do
some deeds by which we will be. People we will make dua for us
people will remember us and we'll make some dua for us. Oh Allah, Oh
Allah we ask that you allow us to make some investments in the world
that will help us in the hereafter. You make us make
investments in this world that will help us in the hereafter. Oh
Allah whatever good deeds we have done our Allah grant us for a full
F loss and sincerity in those deeds. Oh Allah we ask that you
can this fool if loss and sincerity in those deeds, any
corruption, any wrongs, any adulteration, any
pollution in them or Allah remove them and forgive us for them and
forgive us for them forgive us for them Oh Allah have mercy on us so
Allah have mercy on us so Allah have mercy on us or they have
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