Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Treatise For The Seekers Of Guidance Part 21 How Our Actions Affect Others
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Bismillah Al Rahman Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi wa Salatu was Salam ala so
you did more saline while he also be here. Baraka was seldom at the
Sleeman Kathira, ala yo Medina, Amma Burt.
In the last session we were speaking about truth and what it
does to a person in terms of psychologically, the person is at
balance. The person is that contentment with oneself because
they're always telling the truth and all he's doing the truth,
there is no guilty feeling whatsoever whatsoever
in their life, and in their approach to things and eventually
that will play out to the benefit of the person.
So in the opposite of that is obviously falsehood and lying,
which eventually leads leads to voodoo, which eventually leads to
a form of sin or transgression. sin and transgression means going
beyond the boundary that Allah subhanaw taala has placed so as
soon as a person goes beyond the boundary, then that's where it's
going to be fiscally and for jewel essentially returns to the meaning
of the seed coming out of of the ground, something coming out of a
place where it's hidden
and sending well food your food jewel, which means to
transgression and sending you to SATA Allah, it creates a brings
upon the anger of Allah subhana wa Tada
when Allah subhanaw taala is anger is brought about, then clearly,
there's no Baraka, the blessing is taken away.
The Mercy doesn't come in.
Then slowly, slowly, it starts having problem. When Allah is
angry with somebody, he's got multiple ways, infinite ways, in
fact, to see is the person to show his if the effect of his anger
multiple ways. I mean, we have numerous ways if you want to show
anger to somebody, we're only limited by our physical and mental
prowess of what we can do and determine if we want to get back
at somebody, then it depends on what kind of thing our mind
conjures up. And then we're limited only by what we physically
can do, or maybe the kind of contacts and other assistance we
can muster. That's basically it. And then we're limited by
a time period of how long we can focus on this thing.
with Allah subhanaw taala he has infinitely more ways of getting at
people. And it doesn't even have to be immediate, it can be later.
So slowly, something will happen in the house.
Maybe some disobedience will take place between people that you're
supposed to love and they're supposed to love you.
Maybe something will happen with the job that you do with the
business that we have.
It could be in so many different things.
And if that happens and a person connects the two and make Stober
then they can make amends quickly.
But if a person cannot even connect the two, that's the worst
of the situation.
The person can't even connect the two. They're having problems.
And they becoming very miserable. And they're still not making Toba.
This, in fact, they continue with the transgression.
Then that's even more of a sad sad case.
Already shattered the Allahu anha says
that there was no hook there was no o'clock there was no character
trait that was more lowly and despicable and degrading in the
sight of the companions of Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam than falsehood.
That's just true believers can never be false. Because true
belief in Allah means that we need to be true to everything. How can
you then be untrue to somebody else? If you're very true to
Allah,
where you can't even see straightaway, the consequence of
being and being truthful or untruthful? What kind of not Ibis
will call up no Wakata Abdullah Hypno Ibis you know the Allahu and
Houma Allah to tackle them female ionic wala tumor, the Sufi Han
wala halimun was called a haka. Bhima Taheebo and to the Karachi,
Abdullah Abbas of the Allah and gives a few examples.
He gives a bit of advice, he says, Don't speak, except in that which
concerns you.
Don't speak, accepting that what concerns you?
You know, this is like we speak about we we give this advice all
the time. We hear this advice all the time, but it's very difficult
to put into effect.
Do you know why? I've got a theory. I think the reason why
it's so difficult to put that into effect
is because
I think a lot of this is based based on the culture and
environment you're used to
If you're just used to and sit with people that speak about all
sorts of stuff, wasting of time, buncha chatter, gossip, right,
whether that be online now you can do it. You know, sometimes a
person is a loner, but they can do this online now. This they've the
embarrassed to speak out, but they can, right. It's the environment.
I think I personally, I think this has huge amount to do environment.
If there's people who don't like to hear things from us that
are not very savory that are just lie me, then you're gonna see that
in their face. Even if they can't see somebody's gonna, like, change
the subject or something like that. But when you've got
mashallah people who
like to do this with you, and they like the banter and everything,
just a bit of a banter, they say, right.
I mean, people are trying to pass off, I mean, have you seen these
online problems, and somebody says, Oh, it's just a bit of
banter.
It was hurtful, it's just a bit of banter is is like, it should be
jazz, it should be permissible, it should be tolerated. Because my
intention was banter, how do I know what your intention is?
You understand? So, and this is achievable? Actually, it's
difficult, but it's achievable. You just have to, if you're in a
family that does this, then that's very tough, because you're living
with them, many, many hours of the day. But if you can change that in
the family, especially now, if you are the head of the household.
Right? It's difficult when you just one of the siblings, and you
don't, you know, there's not much you can do except retire to your
room. And that's also harmful as well, when you when you break away
with it from everybody that's really harmful. Lot of people
think that's the answer to everything. But that's sometimes
very harmful. It's about striking the balance. But that's human
isn't, it's not easy.
It's not easy, we have to understand that we have to
approach this by understanding this very complex, because we are
going to be dealing with other people, behavior, desires,
habits that have spanned for decades, for a lot of people
just don't understand what the differences. But what I believe is
that if this is brought up over and over again, in a nice way,
this is how I benefited I think to a certain degree, you just hear
about it a lot. You read about it, and you read the harms about of
it, then you then you're more careful about what you save. And
that that was wrong, I shouldn't have said there is no benefit,
beloved, either.
But that is I think what gets us into the most trouble, because
incorporated within it are so many other calamities,
we're going to be making mockery of somebody, most likely that will
come out in it.
If even if it's just between us about somebody else is going to be
rebuts. Right backbiting it could become slander, if it's even
incorrect. A lot of stuff that we hear is incorrect, is not
completely accurate. There may be a small amount, which is accurate,
but somebody's magnified it and exaggerated it. So that becomes
then a bit of Diva and a bit of slander.
It could create an enmity with somebody.
It could create arrogance. There are just so many things because
you start when you start talking down about somebody, then
a natural reaction to it is that we're not like that, even though
we may be.
So there's just so many things that are calamity in here. And it
feels so nice when you don't have to speak about anybody.
It feels so nice.
In fact, what Imam Ghazali are after lunch he mentions is that
the rebirth of their alma he calls it I think
the rebirth of the one of your Alma
which is that, oh, look at that guy's good.
They give a praise. If only they give a praise. He's so good. He's
very good at this, that or the other. If only he wouldn't do
this. And we say it in a counseling way.
We say it in a way that we mean well for them. But why we bring it
up to somebody else for what can if I tell you about somebody else
and you got no impact on that person? Why should I tell you
about it? When it's not even harmful? What he does to you? It's
just a bad point the person has but it's not a contagious hub. Bad
point. One is that somebody's a swindler con man, cheater.
Something like that, then that's different.
So it's about mentions, mentioning somebody
with an outward
expression of
advising them, or meaning well for them. But is it the right place to
say is
it's a really complicated thing. That's why just avoid it unless
absolutely necessary, and then justify it if you have to. You
have to justify before you say it
But we've become the other way around. And I think this is very
cultural. Because in
personally, I think that it also depends on how busy you are.
It also depends on how focused a person is a person who is very
focused on high achievement for themselves and for the, especially
for the with an accurate interview, they will do less of
this, you don't have time for it.
It's like the people who don't let their children who on the highest
level of society don't let their children watch too much TV, but
make them work hard, because they know that that is just a total
waste of time. We got something more to focus on.
There's one country I went to recently so mashallah very laid
back community only about 3000 Muslims there, right, all from one
area by the way of India as well, in fact, all from one area of
Gujarat. Mashallah, right. So, you know, no mixed. And just from one
area and probably a few villages within that area of Gujarat, and
Masha Allah, Allah subhanaw, Taala has given it to them that they
only have to work about three days, and they can get away with
it.
They go and sell things to others and credits and not interest is
credit matter halaal business and they can make enough money and
it's relaxed. And so what do they do the other four days? What are
you going to do in a village if you've got nothing else to do? And
it's not season of harvest? Where you don't have to go behind the
sugar cane for example?
Are you living up north? And you know, you've got nothing to do in
the evening? I mean, not to say they all do that. But
what do you do?
You have to find the discussion. That's why after a salad, people
will sit for hours outside the masjid and just talk.
And then when you start talking about too much, then it gets very
complicated. So you work for three days and loop and chat for four
days.
That said,
and then the phones are free in those countries, their landlines.
So America that local lines are free.
So all day long, that's what it is.
This is the sad fact. This is this is what the problem is, this kills
a person, it's just constantly taking away from us. It's a
massive problem.
And you know, such people who like a lot of this banter, if they
start becoming positive, religious, and knowledgeable, they
will they can become a very good resource.
There's just some people who like to speak a lot. I can't do that. I
can speak in a formal but if I'm to hold a conversation, unless
it's really, I see this as my weakness, to be honest, but in a
in a sense, if it's calm Cuba, if it's something that I need to talk
about, and I've got something in common, I can have a good
conversation. But if I've got nothing in common, I find it very
difficult to even give nasiha
except in a formal setting, that's the way I see it, right.
But there's some people they can speak to anybody.
Now if when speaking to just anybody and Marsha they're very
captivating,
as well.
If they can just replace all the waste, that they spill out and
start reading learning, they could become massive forces or I've seen
somebody they're not all of my even but they've got this ability
that you can sit with them and mashallah, you know, they, a lot
of people learn this into bliss, by the way. Because they're it's
an environment, it's a it's a it's a sonic environment, they pick up
a lot of things, and then they can sit down and talk about this. And
they can sometimes give better than better than then even orlimar
because they it's just a practice.
Right? So if anybody is like that, then try to learn good things to
speak about and benefit people, instead of harming yourself and
harming other people with the Wii, but the blasphemy and all of these
other things that come up comes about in it, because eventually
leads to that, what are two Maori Sufi, Hawala, halimun. And then he
says, Do not ever debate
with a
with an idiot, or a foolish person,
a person who you can't have common terms with, that's what I call a
foolish person who can't understand where you're coming
from, you can understand where they're coming from. You're both
on different platforms, where you can't have common ground with
somebody you can't hold a discussion. You can only have a
sane, logical, rational discussion with somebody when
you both can come to some agreement on at least some
fundamentals.
When a person has shifting foundations and fundamentals and
principles you can't discuss with that person who just doesn't
understand it. That's what ignore bacilli Allahu Anhu is saying and
that's the alarm I used to say like Imam Ghazali has related that
if you're gonna even befriend somebody, then don't be friend, a
foolish person because you can't trust them. You don't have common
grounds with them. You kind of
read that this is our principle that we're going to be going upon,
that we're going to be following.
They think differently. It's like
a friend of mine, he described a certain
group of people. He said they like camels. What does that mean? A
camel is, though it's your camel, you can't trust it.
A camel has its own mind, when you tell it to sit down, is it going
to sit on the right hand side or the left hand side? You don't
know. So if you're sitting, if you're standing on the wrong side,
it could sit on you.
Because it just kind of plops itself down. But it could be on
the right hand side or the left hand side, and you don't want that
coming upon you.
So you can't trust it. So how can you argue with somebody that
doesn't have a certain line?
A certain agreed upon principle between you and them that okay,
these are accepted facts, let's go beyond that. Now.
Likewise, there's no point arguing with a Haleem with the forbearing
person,
because there's nothing to argue about.
Therefore, bearing patient.
And above all, he says was called a haka, Bhima, Taheebo and tooth
Kuraby. Remember your brother. Remember others speak about
others, when you make mention of others mentioned them, speak about
them and discuss them as you would like to be discussed yourself by
others.
See a lot of people they don't
understand how it feels, until somebody tells them that so and so
is saying this about you and is completely incorrect. And you
know, it's incorrect, then you start understanding what we may be
doing to other people.
Unfortunately, not many people come in, gonna speak in your face,
they speak behind you, a completely inaccurate or
exaggerated.
Very few people will say things about others that are completely
accurate, because very few people are particular.
If they're very particular, why would they even speak about you
unless absolutely necessary? So people who speak about others,
they are generally loose. They're not particular about things. In
fact, in the world, how many people are very particular about
things? How many people are perfectionists? How many people
really concerned about the boundaries, which is very casual.
Most people are just very casual in their approach to everything.
And when we casual, in that sense, then we risk getting into areas
that are not ours. And when we hear that somebody said this, that
or the other about us, then
and you know, it's inaccurate, you get very angry that Why am I being
misrepresented. So likewise, be careful how you speak about other
people. And when you read this advice, then you will start
thinking, if you think if you remember this advice, keep it in
mind. And then the next time you speak about this, you will see
that I noticed this myself, that sometimes I would say things in a
kind of a universal way, in a general way, but it was not
accurate.
It was not accurate. I mean, what kind of example can I provide?
You know, like things to say he's always doing this. When you
actually think about that, no, he's not always doing this. He
only does this in this particular context. When I've just told
somebody, he always does this. I'm just shutting him down completely.
I'm not giving him I'm not accurate, accurately representing
them.
And that's wrong. Yes, he does that in certain contexts. And he
could have a valid reason for doing that. But I'm saying that he
does that all the time. If somebody said the same thing about
us, we'd say No, I know. Yes, I do that in a particular case. Not all
the time. But they've misrepresented me to say that
that's what I do all the time.
Somebody said he gets very angry all the time.
It doesn't he only gets angry in particular cases, but they're
misrepresenting
it's very difficult.
That's why just abstain is the best.
One Malama or Julian? Yeah, Allahu Anhu majaz and bill, sir Nima, who
was on Build your army,
act, act in the way of a person
meaning makes such a person your role model whether that person is
a mythical individual, I can model individual or it's a real person
that you know, what is their characteristic, the one such a
person who knows that whenever he does anything good, he will be
rewarded
for good, but he will also be seized and affected
acted for doing wrong.
Be that kind of a person
and do those kinds of deeds. So if you can think of so it's such a
person you know such a person who's like that was very conscious
about doing good and avoiding evil, then be like that person or
think of such a person, have a model in your mind of such a
person and try to be like that person.
A person who is very focused on doing good and knowing that he
will be rewarded for doing good and a person who knows will be
punished for doing wrong.
Be that kind of a person. And what Adam shook rock, make sure that
you are constantly thankful.
Make sure you are constantly thankful. What it means by being
thankful is that you remember Allah whenever something good
happens. I sit here today in this new place that Allah subhanaw
taala literally Allah gave this out of thin air, right?
I didn't go to look for this place, never intended to be here,
never looked in this area. It plopped into our laps, and we had
to do something about it and use it.
I have to do sugar to Allah, where would you get that from?
Anything that happens to you, anything you acquire to Shakur to
Allah, or thanks to Allah.
That's true sugaring actually believe that something has come to
you from Allah subhanho wa taala.
You got a new car,
you got to your destination in good time, no traffic, you're
traveling somewhere, to sugar, everything, anything, just keep
thinking about Allah.
It's very, very powerful, because you get connected to Allah. And
Allah gives you more. If you do that, you got to work on good time
in your project finish quickly. Thank Allah,
that project could have taken much longer.
It could have been so many obstacles within it. Imagine the
multiple obstacles that could come about anything. Computer stopped
working. Other people who are supposed to collaborate, don't
come in time, don't give in time. Whatever it is, there's so many
variables in this quantum world that we live in.
Everything, from the macro level to the micro, there are just so
many different things that could just go wrong. Why did it all just
come together? From Allah, now thank Allah, and more and more
things will become easier in your life.
That's why generally the people who do sugar they are generally
more happy. Like grateful, they're generally more happy because if we
living in it, the way I look at it is if we are living in this world
as just
nobody in this world is a loner, nobody lives in this world in an
isolated way.
Where we are social creatures, human beings are not individuals
on a planet by themselves. In emptiness, we're surrounded we are
we are in a locus we are.
We take up space in this world, where other people also search
also share that space.
We have to interact with people, what we do affects others what
others do affects us at some level, or the other. So amazing.
So in that sense,
if we're balanced with Allah subhanaw Well, the way he wants us
to be in with thanking Allah that he's putting all of these things
right.
And we're the space we are taking up the place we occupy the time
that we are occupying in this world. Everything is coming
together around us in a way to benefit us then why should we
change thank Allah subhana wa Tada.
Walk so walk soar mean Emilich walk so mean Emilich
that means,
shorten your
vain hopes?
Shorten your vain hopes?
And how do you do that? If you love the world, you love
possessions. You want a bigger company, you want to own a bigger
company, if you're in the corporate world, you want to just
be at the top of your game. And then you want to be on the board
of you know because in everything go like if you are working one
company you want to be then be you look at other people, oh, he sits
on the board of this company and that company and that company.
That's a that's the next ambition isn't it for a lot of people. So
if that's in the corporate world, if a business or I want my
business to be this big.
My house to be this large. In fact, it's not about one house
anymore. It's about I want this many houses so I can take the rent
and be a property
owner says all of these things.
Now, how do you manage such a thing?
How do you just stop another one not gonna have any of that?
What do you think is helpful in that regard?
What I think is helpful, Allah knows best could be so many things
that are helpful, of course, Tofik of allies main thing is that if
you start focusing on the hereafter, and what you want for
the hereafter, then there is no doubt that that will then
eventually once you can push that through the roof, and that become
the priority, then this becomes a lesser priority.
Then even if you do have an idea that I want
this many houses, I want to sit on this many boards, I want to become
the counselor, the an MP, whatever, you know, whether
there's political ambitions or whatever it is, doesn't matter.
All of that will then be praiseworthy, because you'll be
doing it for the hereafter,
you won't be done in vain anymore.
So you could still have the same ambitions and goals but you will
do them for a different reason now.
Because the you've suddenly put all of this in light of the
Hereafter which we're eventually going to get to after that. And
now wherever we do hear has to be beneficial for that.
So carry on with big ideas, but have greater ideas for the
hereafter and these ideas will be put into their place.
That's the way I look at it. There's nobody to stop you if you
don't say okay, I don't want any I'm not going to go out tomorrow,
I'm going to become a Zahid and the setting gonna sit in my house,
that's not what is required from us. We need him we need
aspiration, we need to desire but if our desires are in conformance
with the hereafter, then that's what's going to be of benefit.
So work on the hereafter. Work on Paradise, work on satisfying Allah
subhanaw taala and then we will understand once you read more
about the read more Quran about the you'll see the all of these
things, it will suddenly be for that all of these things will be
blessed. And you will get the dunya but in sha Allah, it will be
of benefit for the hereafter as opposed to just purely of benefits
of this world. So what Adam shook rock and what sermon Amharic were
Zuriel Qubool Robbie hammock
go and visit the KUBU go and visit the graveyards but with proper
reflection
going to visit a graveyard just like that doesn't have the same
benefit as being very conscious about it
inshallah we'll continue
with that another time a lot of man to salon consider on the
bottle Kelvin jewelry Quran la mia
medical history Allah who may or unknown we haven't learned this
from Hurricane OKONOMI nobody mean
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Allahumma Inanna stereochemical at Masada community to be Yoko
Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when are older be
commissioning? mosteiro there can be no harm Dukkha whenever you can
Mohamed them sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
Allahumma fill an hour half an hour if you know you know what
Allahumma FedUni or mateesah You didn't know Muhammad Sallallahu
Allahumma salli wa Regina when he mashallah if you know where to
live you know where he is one you know where your heart you know
when he goes to court you know what he has words you know what
the older you know whether you call it you know whether you call
him Allahu Hakuna Lena when he called him and also and
allow him or him whoever you want for Allah model visit in our
element now if you're what is called wanna cry. I'm Anna Mota.
Coppola was Shiva. I mean, Khalida Allah manana will be coming at me
Lyon for work but below Yorkshire when I've seen laddish worrying
alerted Marwood where I lose the job Allah
Oh Allah we asked you for acceptance of Allah we ask you for
purity. We ask you for blessing of Allah we ask you for Mercy of
Allah we ask you for forgiveness of Allah, we ask that you forgive
us, O Allah, we ask You that You grant us purity and acceptance in
your code. You make our hearts Beloved, you make you make us
Billa you make you make yourself Beloved to us in our heart. Oh
Allah, grant us your obedience, and grant us your love and the
love of those who love you. Oh Allah, we ask that you accept us
for the service of your deen of Allah we ask that You grant us the
ability to thank you for all the multiple infinite things that you
have given us and you continue to give us of Allah We ask that you
protect us from being ungrateful. Oh Allah, we ask You for gratitude
or Allah, we ask You for gratitude. We ask You for
protection of Allah, we ask You for closeness to you. Oh Allah, we
ask You for Tofik for the best of this
Well, the best of this the hereafter. Oh Allah allow all our
endeavors of this world to be for your sake. Oh Allah, whatever we
do allow it to be for your sake. Oh Allah protect us from
wrongdoing, protect us from mundane discussions protect us
from idle talk. Oh Allah protect us from wasting our time. Oh ALLAH
There are so many ways to waste our time nowadays. Oh Allah we ask
you to make us focused and Oh Allah, people have high
resolution. Oh Allah allow us allow us allow us to Tofik allow
us you to feed to do what you are pleased with our law before our
death allow us to be rectified. Oh Allah we asked you for correction.
We asked you for rectification we ask you for full purity of Allah
We ask that you accept us only accept us only you know what we
can what you can take from what you can make us do and what you
can accept from us. Oh Allah, we put ourselves in your hand to
grant us agraphia grant us well being Oh Allah, a permanency of
well being and thanks upon your well being of Allah, we ask that
you accept this place from those who have provided it to us and Oh
Allah, you allow us to use this place for the great benefit. Oh
Allah allow us to use it to its highest potential, allow many to
benefit from it, or Allah, Allah or many to benefit from it. And
all those who have supported us and who have assisted us, oh Allah
grant them great acceptance, relieve them of their miseries
relieve them of their problems and grant them Tofik and O Allah
fulfill all of our permissible needs of Allah fulfill our
permissible needs of Allah fulfill our permissible needs and protect
this place and all of us from all of the harms that are out there
from all of the harms that are out there. Oh Allah, there are many,
many fit now. They will ask you to protect us and our children from
all of those challenges are Allah we ask you to rise to the
challenges of this time and allow us to deal with them? Oh Allah, we
ask You for the Kadima on our deathbed. And Oh Allah, we ask You
that You make all of the stages, easy for us, that we are in the
company of your messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we
ask that you send your abundant blessings and our messenger
Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in that you grant us his
company in the hereafter. Subhan Allah because Allah believes that
you'll see from wa salam when Alamosa Nene would handily learn
your OBGYN. I mean