Abdur Rahman ibn Yusuf Mangera – Q&A Learning to Control One’s Anger

ABA spoke about blameworthy trades, and mine is anger, I find

it very hard to control my anger and just a couple of seconds, or

in just a couple of seconds or minutes, I'll say so many things,

which I'll regret, what can I do to control it? Basically, there

are courses and there is there, there is guidance, even online on

anger management. One is a spiritual issue. The other one is

a practical issue or therapy or guidance to try to stop.

I would just say a few things right. Now one of the things that

I would say is that a lot of the time going off like that on anger

is that many people get angry, but the way they respond is different.

So I think what's happened is that we've considered it to be fair

game to respond that way and say so many things. And we've become

so probably habituated to it, we've done it so many times that

it's all hardwired now that every time we get angry, we're going to

say all of these things. So we have to unravel that we have to

change that. So let us try to identify first, where we do this

most, or who we do it most with, there are always going to be some

trigger, trigger people trigger situation, which they will trigger

this thing off. So let us start to sit down and think for ourselves,

maybe jot it down, make some notes that it's with the certain people,

whether that be with our own parent, our own children, our own

spouses, or whoever it is, right. Or it's when I'm in a certain

situation, or it's when I'm hungry, for example, because low

blood sugar can create that kind of a symptom as well. Or things

like that, when I'm agitated, if we can identify when we do it,

then we can inshallah hope to be more prepared them because when

I've identified these with this person, so if I'm going to go

there, and I know it could generally happen, I'm going to be

more careful at this time, I will not do so.

So Inshallah, if you can understand the triggers that will

that will help. And then of course, we keep asking Allah

subhanaw taala for refuge from anger, from exposing the anger

from expressing that anger. And every time we do at the end of the

day, we look back and think why we did that. And then try to again,

analyze the situation. And Sharla slowly, slowly, if we just try to

act more positive in the world, because anger comes from

arrogance. Anger comes from a feeling of

entitlement. Anger comes from so many different narcissism it can

come from so he did so if we can understand the root cause of our

anger, is it because I just feel everybody else is below me. They

must do things in the way I want them to do things. I don't have

any patience. Maybe I'm arrogant. I can't take when somebody else

has something better than I have. Or somebody gets think about these

things. And if you can, it's all about identifying now

Alhamdulillah The first thing is that if somebody is asking this

question, it means that there's a concern. Now it's just about going

deeper and finding out what are these triggers? What are these

problems? Where does it come from? And keep making dua to Allah

Allah, how many are all the becoming a mineral hardab You can

say, or read the caramel catecholamine allay those who

control their anger. And try to just prepare ahead Allah Khomeini

are all the bigger man a ship party when the 40 or so good luck

luck is very good, which basically means Oh Allah, I seek your refuge

from disputation from hypocrisy and from bad character. Anger is a

trigger it is basically an ingredient of bad character. So we

ask Allah for Tofik