Abdur-Raheem McCarthy – Finding Balance Health, Wealth, Family & Happiness – Abdur Raheem McCarthy
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The speakers emphasize the importance of finding a balance between personal and family priorities, practicing memorizing the Quran, and balancing mental health during phone calls. They stress the importance of prioritizing one's own mental health and avoiding negative comments on it. The hostels-efficient environment is recommended for everyone to prioritize their mental health, including balancing personal priorities.
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Okay, we are live with some loud rock my Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah while early he was IBH mine, Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. To all our viewers, friends, students, listeners, we're here for another rich conversation, another podcast and other discussion with our esteemed guests. You have the Rahim or as he's known Steven McCarthy, as you download time, when FRB
alameen and Chandra him McCarthy, I'm very proud to have said to say, is a teacher of mine for many, many years. And I often say to people, anything good they see in me is fruit from the tree or shahada Rahim
I'm very blessed to have him with us today. And for him to share with us something that I think personally, he is uniquely positioned to advise on and to discuss. And that is, as we see in the title, the idea of finding balance. And the reason I chose this subject and reason I chose to handle him specifically, is that when I was when I was in school, and she had Rahim was our Islamic Studies teacher in high school.
One of the most surprising things for anybody who doesn't know him is that in the daytime at school, we would find him in his job and in his with his hat and his big beard and teaching us about Islam. And then when they came to 3pm, he would take off his job to you'd find a basketball shorts, covering his out, of course, basketball jersey on top, and we would go and shoot some hoops and to see that somebody who could balance the seriousness of dealing with recreation and entertainment and somebody who's always big on Exercise and Health and sport, and MMA and you know, other things that she had that I was interested in, and finding that balance is not very often that we see it, it's
usually somebody's either goes overboard in one way, and neglects you know another aspect of life. So that's why I chose the subject but obviously we're going to discuss a number of things. And to start with, wanted to discuss Sheikh Abdullah Humes origin story. So how he came to Islam in brief detail, how he came to be where he is in Turkey, where which countries he's lived in.
And, and kind of any experiences you know, she wishes to share. So with that, I leave it to shatter him Salam Alikum
Alhamdulillah Thank you for having me. I think a lot of people don't know the connection between me and you. How long it actually goes back to Pamela. And even in Russia, I mentioned the thermal creating the balance I mentioned you and your family mashallah, me Oh, bless you all and several of my lectures on the land, I mentioned a lot about how you excelled in the, you know, the IGC SES and getting all a stars here for one, right? Yeah, once you
even with that, Michelle, you were very active in the Dow and you would come with us on the weekends, and you would give talks a little about IQ and buzz and reminders and all of that, Mashallah. And at the same time, you know, you were with us in the sports and I remember you were big into cricket and into all of this and basketball with us. Alhamdulillah so I gave the example and to the people about the possibility of creating bandits and maybe we'll think it's not possible, and shall we'll get deeper than that inshallah and the,
the lecture for as the talk as it goes a bit on in channel time. And when it comes to my the original, my story, I was born and raised in America
as a
as a non Muslim, obviously. And in 1994, or 1993, was the first time that I actually heard about Islam, not heard about Islam, but read about Islam say I heard about Islam, you know, I read about the story of Malcolm X, and you know, I saw his movie, what have you. So I've always been intrigued by that. So when Hamdulillah
I wanted to learn you had the back of my mind to know more about Islam, and one of my friends, his father was Muslim. And you know, he taught or asked him some questions about Islam, and he told me the basic, you know, basic fundamentals of Islam, what Islam is, what Islam really is, and what it isn't. There was a lot of misconceptions, obviously, during that time, when it came to the issue of Nation of Islam and
the issue of Islam being you know, for black people, this was the misconception that was being spread, you know, that was before.
You know, they made us into terrorist, you know, it was, then the thing they were spreading on the media was, you know, Islam is, you know, the black man, the reason for the black man and, and the white man is the devil and is this nonsense, the Nation of Islam spreads, he himself was it was a black brother. And he explained to me this was total nonsense, had nothing to do with this anatomy. He taught me about Islam, the basics, and I took some books from him. And I didn't read the books during that time, but I did always tell you know, and probably you remember these stories as well, he is that I've told you know, so many of my, my students all the time, is that the difference you
know, between one of the main differences between our generation and you know, the generations coming up now is that even though I was a bit of you know, I was a knucklehead or the gangster lifestyle and all this and getting in trouble and you know, what have you I was still we read, you know, we actually
He took the time to read every now and then we realized the importance of reading. So we would do that. There were certain things, you know, you would talk to certain books that they were read in prison, or you would read outside, you know, the art of war, Machiavelli, or, you know, all these books? Well, at least we were reading them as the point, you know, we're nowadays people, you know, it's like they have an allergy to reading. Even sometimes, if you recall, some of the students that we taught in the school, I remember some of them, they would read.
Who are they? Some of them were in school with you, your colleagues from like, kg, or our brothers originally, you know, but their Arabic, reading was not proper English when I was like, What do you guys been doing for 11 years? And I said, if you guys will fly in the future, what language do you speak. So you have to be honest and say none, I don't speak any languages.
That will be as but that goes back. A lot of it goes back to that reading you and you learn language, you know how to write. But if you don't read, you don't practice reading, then alongside you're not going to be able to read when that when the time comes. I think that's what happened to a lot of people is they just didn't read it. That's the problem. And so I used to read, so it wasn't something like alien to me, right. So what happened. After about two months, I had gotten to a car accident, I didn't have access to go out where I used to go. And I was in my my grandparents house, I was bored. I'm giving all this to the story, just very briefly. You can go back and chill out to
YouTube to see it in detail anybody will see in detail. But then I'm then I read the books about it.
And there was four main things that really stuck out to me. The first one, was it the issue of Tawheed. It's not like mono theism, and always say we give lectures about dollar This is the difference between us. And and then it was in the Muslim in the non Muslim, we always want to focus on the miracles of this, the miracles of that, you know how great this is how great that is. But the reality is, is that Subhanallah, the real you know,
the foundation is what shows the beauty of Islam, which is the one that's the monotheism, the Oneness of Allah subhanho wa taala. So that's the first thing has huge impact on me, especially coming from a Christian background. So Hamdulillah, I read about this, and also one of the issues with issue of the preparation for the prayer, and how a Muslim, when he would prepare for the prayer, he would isolate himself from the eyes of others, and also that he would sit down in order for the impurities not to get on his clothes, on his clothes. And that for me, I said, subhanAllah this had a big impact on me, because even before Islam, I just didn't feel it was natural to stand
next to another man and to, you know, totally hazard that if you're, you're removing yourself next to someone else, and he's talking, you know, I'll just see the game last night. It's like, what, bro, it's not the time for the game last night. This is you know, I'm concentrating here, right? So I feel that was natural, right? And then so Muslims don't do that. And then also the issue of sitting down. I remember one time, even before I was also I sat down. It's like, all these years we've been standing, you know, and it's so much easier and convenient to sit down. Right. So I found the Muslims did that made sense to me. So
that was I was the second thing that impacted me. The third thing was the issue of, you know, just the system of life and Islam. You know, the handle is clear, the Haram was clear, the five pillars, they had a really big impact on me, because that's one of the things that was missing in life was the, you know, that says that system, I had no system I lived during that time. So, um, they allow. And then the fourth thing was the the justness of Islam where it said at the end of the book, that it's not enough, just it's not enough just to believe, but you have to act upon your belief. So it Hamdulillah
you know, they said, you can even go to the Hellfire as a Muslim if you don't act upon your belief. Whereas we believe in Christianity, as long as you believe that you're saved, you know, you're going to you're going to paradise. So it hadn't had a big impact and of those four things, and right after that accepted Islam at the age of 18. And then I moved on after that, you know, to study and started, you know, tolerable and about six months after I accepted Islam, I started right away, I'm done is seeking knowledge actually. I was really I was intrigued by by knowledge, especially when I was a student, I really loved it. I loved the Sunnah. And I started to study as much as I could in
America.
I remember we had you know, some famous chef, there was a party. He taught me the basics alphabet, and just the basic sorters I learned as much as I could reading from the Sunnah always had my highlighter in my books, you know, highlighting everything I could that was from the Sunnah. And I would I would act upon that, and I'm the Lead tried to implement in my life. So
that was the beginning and then obviously went overseas after that, to seek knowledge.
When we're talking about as we're talking about that,
I think part of that story is important for people to know that you know, you've lived in Sudan, Medina, the UAE, Ireland, to Ireland, the US, Turkey, Qatar, us as well.
I've been around that's just in the last seven years. I mean, most of like, I'm talking about Qatar Island turkey. That's just the last six, seven years, right? That's correct. Yes, that's correct. I
I spent 11 years and certainly after I became
after, after I became Muslim, I went to Sudan first I was there for about a year. And then I went to Saudi. And I stayed there for about a year and three months, and I left and came back as a student, Medina, as I said, 10 years in Medina. So I was there for more than 11 years, something all together, and Saudi Arabia studying Hamdulillah.
And 101 of the things is, in all of this time, your priorities would constantly change, right. So you know, a single student of knowledge is different than somebody who's married, who has, you know, many children, and then you are working, and then you are doing our plus work. Plus, when all of this tends to happen, when our lives can tend to get crowded with so many priorities, this is when kind of the balance is what we need to seek. And that's kind of the natural segue into our second topic, which is finding balance, you know, how can we really find balance, I live in the UK, and many, many of our listeners are in the UK, and many from other parts of the world. I mean, even
yesterday, subhanAllah we got a message from someone who's listening from the Philippines.
And
generally speaking, the modern world that we live in, there is a lot of chaos, life is very busy, especially for parents, people who are working, or getting our Salah in between meetings or in between, you know, changing nappies, etc, etc. It's very difficult for so many people. So, you know, what can you enlighten us with from the son of the Beloved? Salallahu, alayhi wasallam? About how can we find balance? How can we, you know, set our priorities right. And is it even possible? And that's the question you mentioned, as well.
You know, I think it's very interesting that you mentioned the, our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, because he was someone, if you look back at the book that Michael Hart did of the most influential 100 most influential men in history, obviously, he was right there at the top la salatu. Salam is number one, because no one has been able to accomplish more. And it was only in a short period of time, but only 23 years, if you look at it at a CRLA salatu. Salam, who, when he was the, you know, the spiritual leader of the Imam,
and that in itself is a full time job, you know, but at the same time, he was the commander of the army, he was the you know, the head judge, the counselor, you know, that everyone would come to even though they said the little, the little girl would come with her problem. And she would take him by his head, at least set out to sit up and walk with Him in the streets of Medina, explaining her problems, and he was listening to her. And he said to Sam, even though he was how busy he was, at least that was that I'm SubhanAllah. And at the same time, he was in a loving and devoted father and husband at the same time. And someone who's to stand with a half the night in prayer, praying Allah
to set him to his feet will become swollen. So if you look at the one of the key things we gained from that, is that definitely it's possible. But how do you do it this is this is the issue is that many people, we don't have our priorities, any straight, many of us in a live a chaotic and confused life. And that's why we don't find the time. And if you look at, I mean, I looked for myself,
I just wasn't finding enough time, I think most of us were trying to probably do too much. And I think I'm still guilty of that, to be honest with you. But when you don't have your priorities straight, this is what happens is that you fall into these problems, where you don't, you know, you can't get things done, or you get, you know, half of this done half of that done, you're not really excelling in anything, because you're all over the place. So a lot of that just goes back as to looking where is your time going. And I found that a lot of my time was when I would take some free time I would take a break. You know, I like basketball and and you know, in May as well. So I would
find myself I don't really watch games, to be honest with you, I very rarely watch a game. Even like the UFC events, it has to be something that really spectacular for me to watch. You know, like the last one I didn't watch even though the main event was good. But the one before I did do this, but most so I don't do it too much. That's the thing.
When it comes to like to American football, I might watch some highlights every now and then I did watch the Super Bowl. Obviously with Tom Brady. And this in history, I was very intrigued by that. I was watching it, my father was watching at the same time, we're texting back and forth to each other as you're watching it, which is kind of cool. It was 2:30am it started here SubhanAllah. So it hadn't been that this is something but I don't do it a lot. A lot of times you'll find people who are into sports, and watch a lot of sports, that that's where the time is going. So myself when it came to watching the basketball highlights. I used to watch like the longer version, you know, it'd
be like a nine minute highlight of the game. Now they're shorter ones. The NBA comes with short ones now like two minutes. So we watched some of the longer ones on some other other channels, like nine minutes and then you watch this one, you watch that one, this one and you'll find that maybe now 45 minutes to an hour of your day is gone. So you have you have to you have to prioritize and what it is that you want to do. I was speaking recently to some brothers who are into these, you know, the new Turkish films are to roll and with man in this. And I said to them, did you know that the amount of time you spent to the
hours you spent to watch or to roll, that this is something that you could have accomplished a Bachelor's of art and maybe even a second basketball and the same amount of time. That's the amount of time that you put into that. Because if you if you do it, and I'm gonna get my calculator, cuz I'm not the best at math. But if you were to say, each episode is two hours and 15 minutes, so how many how many minutes? Is that? That's going to be 135 minutes, roughly, right? Yes. And I think it was, like 149 episodes. So it's going to come up to the hours, any, you hit 20 hours and 150. And this is the the hours that we have. So we would not normally do a show, you know, the math Dude, we
divided by 60 to get the amount of hours. That's right. Look at the hours that you're going to spend. Now, these are these amount of hours that you spent in as it's a crazy amount of hours that people have spent. And then there could have been some positive things in the series, right? But this is the the reality, over 300 Something hours, it's crazy, the amount of hours that we would have spent on
on watching something like that. Like, I mean, no doubt, it's beneficial, more beneficial than watching like a Hollywood or Bollywood film. And then that's maybe something else we could discuss later. But the point is, is that is this where my priorities are, you know, and the sad thing is that most people who watched the whole film, they don't, they don't even speak Turkish at the end, you know, it's like, you should have least, you know, finished this entire series to be able to speak Turkish man after all these hours, right. But all I can say is any kind of dish and a one line and it's
basic word, right? I love is that so this is a lot of times you'll find when you look into creating the balance, it's you'll see that your your time is going somewhere, even I think I think it's brilliant that the apps they have on the phone that shows you like the screen time, how much of time we're actually using on the screen, as your the I think that that's something also very, very brilliant, that you can see how many hours a day, how many hours a week, that you're the that you're spending on the phone, you'll find that the majority of your time, that's where it's going, it's going to these,
it's going to these, these these events is going to you wasting your time on this and on that. So that's one of the key things, if you're going to be balanced in you're going to benefit, you have to see where you're wasting your time. Okay, there's other things that you're going to do that take time, but it gives you time elsewhere. And I'll give you several examples for that. When it comes to exercising, okay, it takes from your time, but exercising, it's making your body stronger, and your your body stronger, also your mind strong and your focus is going to be better. It's not a coincidence that you know, the main CEOs and heads of many companies and professionals, when they
have their power morning, they break it down into three different things. Basically, they focus on most of them, which is having some spiritual time, which we have obviously with the Quran with Quran Al Fajr and Salat al Fajr. And then they also have their exercise routine in the morning. And then like a healthy breakfast, they all of them basically mentioned the these, these three things, so Subhanallah that when you have this is going to you take out the time to exercise, it's going to help your body stay stronger, help your mind stay more focused. So here you're putting time into benefit and timing and other things as well. Also, in a many examples, if you look into the Sunnah,
Allah another thing that I mentioned in one of my videos recently before I mentioned the example from the Sunnah,
the issue of the
the amount of time you put into things that you don't really need to be doing there, there could be some things where you could get a third party or get someone to do it for you. It depends on how much money you have, and things like that and what you're doing, what your lifestyle is like. But there's certain things where you can actually pay sometimes to get things done, but it saves you time. So there's any a lot of people will refuse to do that. They'll do a job. And I don't know if you saw the video or not, I was moving my books to my office. So I decided to do move them myself. And I could have paid probably like $20 for someone to do it for me, which would have saved me two
and a half hours, which I which I normally would do, I'm not I didn't do it for the money. I did it for the exercise because the type of lifting that I was doing was something you wouldn't get in the gym. So I just wanted to do something different. And I woke up, you know, two, three flights of stairs, carrying the three boxes of books. And that was pretty chill exercise. Yeah, naturally pretty manly. And
so that's why I did it. Otherwise, something like that, I definitely would have paid 20 3040 $50 to to get someone to do it for me and saved two and a half three hours of my life. You know, so that's a lot of you also when it comes to this, then we'll prioritize it. I can spend some money but I gain some time. So that's going to kind of benefit me. So this is another example we look into the Sunnah is something very interesting that this actually any because you need to see where are the main sections or spheres that I need to actually be focusing on as a Muslim. The prophet Isaiah salatu salam he mentioned and there's there's, there's there's two Hadith, but the the main one when it
comes to breaking it down into three categories, the Hadith, of Salman and Abu Dhabi that are there
Last one, and there's many reflections that we can gain spoiler from this hadith. First of all, he walked into the house about the depth. And he saw that, um, that that, that she wasn't, you know, taking care of herself meaning that she wasn't
you know, beautifying herself and her and her dress, and no, perhaps whatever they will use for some types of makeup or things like we would have nowadays to make it clear to the, to the brothers and sisters, what it means, you know, you there's a certain way that it husband or the wife usually looks for husband, and obviously the husband also should have a certain way he looks for his wife as well. So the point is, is that he noticed that she wasn't really taking care of herself. She wasn't focusing on those things that most women focus on for their husbands and how she was looking and beautifying herself. So she said to him when he and he asked her why, why is this your situation?
She said, you know, your brother avoider that he's not interested in the dunya and he's not interested in women because he's so devoted to his family, he's focusing on the bottom. So he gave a beautiful example of how to fix this problem and how to create a balance. So first thing is he said when he requested she made some food for them, he said eat with me. And he said no, he said I'm fasting. And he said I won't eat until you said you have to eat you know he forced him out to eat because even from the sooner when you have a guest in to break your fast and somebody that you're considered to be better according to the teachings of the sooner that you break your fast eat with
some of the voluntary festivals and you know Ramadan, the voluntary fast that you are you break your fast to eat with your with your guests inshallah. So he forced him to do that with E with him. So he broke his fascinated with him. Then when it came time to sleep at night, he wanted to get up and pray right away. So what are you doing? So I'm going to pray? And he said, No, he said, You sleep and then we'll get up and we'll pray together. A little bit later, he wakes up again, where are you going? So I'm gonna go prays and don't wait, that time it will get up prayed. And he told him this another time as well until they got up and they prayed the remainder of the night. After this, he
taught him he told him a very valuable lesson, and that's what we all need to understand. He said to him, in Arabic alaka that your rub your Lord has right upon you. When Melina fsic Alec Huck that you have a right upon yourself. We're in Nellie. Alika Alika Huck, and your family has a right upon you for out the cooler they have been Hakko so give each one their due, right Subhanallah he said I won't I he listened when he said what he said I'm gonna go ask the Prophet alayhi salatu salam about what you said. So you went to the Prophet alayhi salaatu Assam and he asked him, you know, tell us it is what Solomon said. And he said so that was a man that said man has spoken the truth. So
Subhanallah if you look as a Muslim, this is where I need to be balancing all of my affairs. I have my body my worship and the things I'm doing for Allah subhanho wa Taala from that is going to come you know, valuable elements well, even for yourself follow up and seeking out it falls into that as well. And, you know, if I'm doing things for charity, some counseling, mashallah, may Allah bless you that you're doing with university students, all of that falls in to the hitman, we're saying we're doing for Allah subhanho wa Taala we're doing things for Allah subhanaw taala. And then for ourselves, and for ourselves, what does that mean? That means that we have to take care of ourselves
when it comes to our mind, when it comes to our bodies when it comes to our souls. And obviously, the soul part is going to be taken care of when it comes to the bada inshallah Tada. And then you have to better yourself in your mind, you have to, you have to read you have to, you know, learn new things, you have to educate yourself. You have to
constantly make yourself to make yourself better. You have to take care of yourself when it comes to what you eat, you know, not overeating, following the Sunnah, making sure that you're exercising, you're in good health, there's no need for someone to you know that we talk about you You're getting old. It's not really the case. And age is just a number. You're we've seen some some examples. And I just mentioned now for example, Tom Brady, 43 years old, best quarterback in NFL history, and the viewers in the UK have no idea what I'm talking about, right?
This is American football, but I'm 43 years old to be at that level 27th You know, Super Bowl, you know, that seven championship, and how has that been? It goes back to what is dedication to his diet and to exercising and taking care of himself. He went to extremes and doing but it look his body lasted. So if you do that, you're also if we do the same thing, our bodies are going to are going to last and be able to take care of us as well. But when we don't take care of our body, what happens at the age of 40 people start to go down. You have 40 years old now who you know, always you know, back pain and this and you know, big guts and, you know, on medication can't really move properly.
That's not supposed to happen. Even be you know, in their 60s, the Sahaba the Prophet it set out to some of their own battlefield in the battlefields and full armor, you know, and they're in their 60s while you've been on Saudi is up to 90 years old he was in when he was buried here and stumbled where it is today, you know, stumbled Subhanallah and at that time out on the battlefield as well, 90 years old, so it was 90s Rhodiola one as you can
See, that means that they were in shape, they took care of themselves, their lifestyle was very different ratio. I think that's the main, we are very sedentary lifestyle. I mean, we sit, the average man will sit, you know, from nine to five, I don't think that was even possible, you know, 1400 years. Yeah, that's true. Maybe if you look at and that's why it's important that we try to create a lifestyle where we are, you know, we we are constantly moving, remove, remove as much as possible we we can't sit for long periods of time you have to get up you have to stretch out because you're hurting your back, you're hurting. You're held back by sitting for too long. At the same
time. The type of food we eat is not real food that has a
that has a what do you call it? It has a huge impact as well. I remember speler speaking of you know that one of your father's colleagues in Dubai, he told me a story when he went to visit
the owner of the bank where they where they both used to work and he said that he was like, I guess about 80 something at that time. But he said that he was so energetic and so full of health, you know, believe it, I believe he said was 82 or something and he had like 40 Plus children alone. But you know,
he said that when we worked at the masjid for Morgana was during Ramadan, he was fasting as well that at that age, he's as he walked to the masjid. He said,
we couldn't keep up with him. That's how energetic he was alone. But you know, they said, What does it go back to that energy. And he meant he mentioned three things.
He said, I think that
is the first thing he said that when eating a lot of dates. The second thing was a lot of Camel milk. And the third thing was, obviously, when you have you know, four wives that came all the time, you have to be in shape, you know,
I think that those, those three things really helped me out. Because for the guy at that age, he was in shape. So it's something you know, if you look even in the days that we live in, if you really take care of yourself that you can age properly, but unfortunately, when we destroy our bodies, you know, from especially the generation that we came up in now, and the generation before, or even the generation has even worse, I think they're nuts, you know? And no, you're talking about my time in Dubai, my time in Dubai, I was into sports, I got into diet at the end before I left Dubai. So I mean, my wife, she can May Allah bless her, she kind of she's the one who figured this out, you
know, she studied and she started to exercise, she's like, look, we're killing ourselves. And she actually went in detail and studied about food and, and,
and looked at it at the harms that it's giving to our bodies know that we're we're supposed to get nutrients from the food but the nutrition that we have, it's it's horrible. It's it's it's, it's it's killing us not not not benefiting us. So that's when we learned the dangers of really what we were doing. So that's what that's why I changed when it came to the food side. Working out, I didn't really start until until a bit later, I think when when with Ireland, that's when I kind of got consistent into working out.
So I mean, that's
that's when I started there. And that I've been consistent thing since 2016. Maybe I know a few injuries have, you know, held me back a bit and humbled a lot lately. But
that also I realized that the even the injuries they're not, I think a lot of the mental impact that has is more than the physical. I think you wouldn't get hurt, you kind of just
delay doing things, you could do a lot of other things like for example, I hurt my leg, I could have been doing a lot of upper body stuff. You know, when I hurt my finger, some time back in jujitsu, I could have been doing lower body stuff, right. But it just you kind of get lazy because you're so used to you know, going to gym and lifting and you can't especially as you know us, we all like to do upper body stuff more than lower. But anyways, so we kind of left the things that could have been doing. And instead of so I mean obviously, if you take care of yourself, you have to learn. And as the Arab expression goes that model Toby's gonna see that each individual is his own physician. So
we have to understand that we have to study and know what what is nutrition, what is, you know, what is good for us, and that when it comes to the body side, so that taking out that time,
that's going to help us be able to create the balance is benefiting ourselves taking care of ourselves, that's really going to have a huge impact on the other aspects of our life as well in general Tada. So in the Hadith, and you see you have yourself, you have your family, and a lot of times and you have your Lord, the issue of the family and I'll say that I can guilty of this in some aspects as well. You're always trying to improve and it's one of the things as Muslims that we really need to focus on is to constantly want to better ourselves. It doesn't stop. You know, at any age Imam Muhammad Rahim Allah wa Taala he was
he was walking down the street, and he had with him his column, and you'll do the ink pen like this. They have the metadata we put inside of so they saw me Mom, I had this great Imam and he's walking down the street with like a student with his with his metadata. So he said that he said, Rahimullah in the famous statement
He said, My Elan Maqbara. He said I will be with the metadata with the extent until I go to the MCBA until I go to the grave. And he constantly educating yourself constantly reminding, and I remember anything from the stories of the self, who will they will hear a hadith as they were on their deathbed, and they will tell their students write it down. This is knowledge. We don't want to miss it. What are you going to benefit from this knowledge now if you're about to die, but it says knowledge, perhaps that will benefit me, you'll know Pam a woman when I meet Allah, some of the scholars during our time and he several of them I heard their stories, as they were on their
deathbed, they would have their, their,
their sons with them or those who are close and they will be reading to them as they're on their deathbed just even at that time, to learn more about their deen and to come closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala and to learn more, so it's a nonstop thing, always trying to you know, to learn, always try to better yourself. So and the key thing is that we learn from our mistakes and that's what I want you as one of the youth who is coming up now. Mashallah, and others were there as well. I did a video some time back. I don't know if you saw about a year ago, or maybe more actually asked upon Allah, the time flies with this COVID thing.
As well as kind of, you know, it's messed up all of the, you know, how we see the time, you know, spinalis blurred everyday blurs into the next.
I did a video on my YouTube channel with Chef Jose Nene about you know, mistakes I made in Dawa because every time I go to Malaysia always visits your Hussein and I love Shia Hussein. You know, he's one of our elders, you know, this just smiles enough here he just a bit of a
really, really beautiful mashallah and a full of experience in life. And he accepted Islam six years before I was born
with our shake Dr. Bland Phillips, when I was when I was when I was born, you know? So they're the ones who have the experience. So it's important that we benefit from our elders and their experience. So when and when someone comes now, the things I wish I had done before. Now, I wish I had, you know, lived a more healthy lifestyle before then, you know, I realized when I when I became 40, you know, and then I started then I wish I wish I had started early, I wish I had done this. So you're not not in our lifetimes. When you when you learn the hard way, as we did a lot of things in life. What happens is that then, you come in and you're playing makeup, and in many aspects, I give
you several examples, when it comes to seeking knowledge, when it comes to working out when it comes to martial arts. And now, like, when I started to learn jujitsu, I started with Japanese jujitsu, and then went on to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Hamdulillah, I'm still learning but the difficulty as someone who's in his 40s You know, what they're getting at, especially Japanese just has a lot of throws and things like this. Whereas even obviously, the Brazilian is more on the ground. But even though either or, I mean, just that you going through that. So that would have been much better, you know, when I was in my 20s that these throws that I'm being thrown on the ground, I'm coming home.
And I have like, all these bruises here and this and I just a bit but it was enjoyable, and it's beneficial to learn. But if I say, Man, if I learned this when I was in my 20s You know, I was much better than ever now that my body having to go through that
hadith if tinium helps uncover the humps take advantage of five things before five Shabda because, you know you're young, your younger years before you grow old.
Especially for learning, learning, memorization study learning. The thing the thing is, is that, you know, they say it's easier when you're younger to memorize because the mind that is correct, but there's something else which you won't learn until you come. Once you have them. Allah bless you got married young. So even though you're young,
you're going to,
you're going to realize, you're going to realize, where someone who is your age, who was not married, is not going to realize what I'm saying. And until until you actually go through the same experience. And that is, you know, that a lot of times it's not the memorization that's become more difficult. It's just so much responsibility that you have, yeah, as, you know, as as you're trying to memorize the Quran or you're doing your head in the morning. And then all of a sudden, you know, this Oh, uses
do you have to do this, you have to do that you can't focus that's it, the the focus because of the responsibility, it becomes more difficult. That's why you benefit from the time that's what the profit is. That was me describe the free time as being one of the free time in the health has been the greatest benefits that we have that we don't realize we have them until they're gone. It's in the Hadith in Sahih Bukhari Samos medicine,
and a net Mitanni, a well known female cathedral madness, and the two people that choose to have the blessings that people have the greatest blessing people have, they don't realize them until they're gonna say I will forever have good health. And free time is when you take advantage of them in order to build for the future because you don't know what's going to happen in life and a lot of things when COVID hit enter the things that we wish we had done the things we wish we had planned for, and because if you if you don't have that balance, and I talked about this before, when it came to the issues of the ones who had the balance where they would isolate themselves sometimes because
As a Muslim, you need that. That self isolation, you need to isolate yourself sometimes you need to meet time as they say, the private time for yourself. Yes, it'd be, it'd be time if they bother. So if you're kind of used to that, you know, you have that family time. You know, for myself, I prefer to be in the house with my family this is I go out to the masjid, I go out for Tao activities, I go to, if I want to go out, for example, for a hike or something like that in nature, the things that I enjoy to do outside
and
then I'm back home, I'm on my home most of the time. So for me, it wasn't a big change when COVID hit, because I prefer being in the house anyways, I prefer to be with my family than hanging out with it with the brothers It was It wasn't that big of a deal. I was after some time you start to feel it. I mean, especially like the the Dow activities was to travel around the world we used to, you know, being with the communities, being with brothers, all of a sudden, we're all by ourselves all cut off. So it does have an impact, but because any for me, I had that type of balance in my life where, you know, I prefer to be at home with family anyways, it didn't really have too much of
an impact on me Al Hamdulillah even now we're logged on the weekends yoga, I'm done, I'm at home with my family. So I'm cool. I'm enjoying it. hamdulillah so that's the thing, when it comes to this you have to see then you have to put what are the priorities, I did a video on my YouTube channel about the Quran and the Quran when it comes to you know, some of the priorities. So what is my priority? Now, if the Quran is something, you know, all of us want to memorize the Quran. All of us want to learn the Quran. But the only way for it to happen I learned this from one of my brothers who was study with me in Medina, and he's in he's in Malaysia now is that he said it because when I
went and I went to Malaysia in 2017, I was there for two months with my family. And we we observed all of Ramadan, they're a part of it. And Indonesia is wanting to Indonesia some time on a desert tour there. And subhanAllah
the brother I saw they had memorized the Quran he had memorized before I know that it is close to the brother. So it's it was it was really, really good, a little robotic, you know? And I asked him how he did it, you can look at the video and look at the details of how he did it. One of the things that really impacted me what he said, he said that you have to make it something that's wajib something that's a must. It can't be something that you know, negotiable. Yeah, that you have to do it every day. How's your day. So when he did that, he became very good in the Quran. And his hip actually became stronger than love the the men who father were leaving us in prayer in Ramadan
because they were busy with other things. But he made his every single day. He said when it comes time, he's I turn my phone off, it's off, you know, no one comes in, this is the Quran time my wife, hey, don't bother me, don't come in now. So this is my wife, she's dropped to the call before May Allah bless her as I was with you here. So this is this is out there in the Quran. But the thing is, is that and it's only four. It's only for the Quran. This time. When it comes to, for example, working out like lately, my workouts haven't been as consistent. Why? Because I went against my program, I did also a video on my YouTube channel about my daily program. It was during the
lockdown, but generally like, it's like that even outside of the lockdown that you have to start with a Quran you have to start with, with the workout everyday, that's for me, those are my priority in life. And then I have to make sure I take care of myself after my spiritual time after my time with the Quran. So when I did that, and I know that this is my time is the morning time, I'm not going to do it, and each person knows itself. Some people have more or better at nighttime. You know, for me, that's not the case. And I go to sleep early, almost every night not because really I want to but the body says you know, that's it, we can't go much longer, you know, so I haven't, I
have to I don't sleep a lot during the night and I'm the lead. But when it's time to sleep, I do sleep at Hamdulillah. So that's that's the thing is that you have to make that your priority, it has to see what do you want to do? What are the things you want to accomplish, and get in and get into that routine. And just as Nike says, Just do it. And that's really what you have to do. And once you start to do it and starts to become consistent, then it's going to be something that that you can't even leave or you're gonna feel guilty if you if you leave it and it becomes any you'll find pleasure in that in general Tom.
It reminds me of the Hadith of the Prophet SAW Selim. In that habit, I made it a lie at home while watching the most beloved of deeds to Allah are consistent, even if they're small. And I remember, you know, when since we were talking about, you know, doing things while you're young while you have the energy and we were talking about using time Well, I remember 10 years ago, about 10 years ago, at Breaktime at school when everybody got to play, and you started the sessions in the prayer room just to start memorizing Hadith. I remember the first day there was about there's about maybe 40 people in that circle or 30. And then towards the end there was just remember me and Muhammad Nasir
there are two two of us left and remembers that that breakdown that we sacrifice a little bit every day and today. You know sometimes I'm driving to a football and I haven't got a football prepared. I haven't prepared anything. I'm in my lunch break at work I'm driving going to hurt by this 300 feet
to the audience. And the first thing that comes to our mind is those Hadith that I memorized with you, they're like Al Fatiha mama, they just one comes. And that's the, that's the hotbar that hadith is. And so and I still am so grateful to Allah subhanaw taala that, you know, when we talk about people using the younger years, really, we're talking about mentors and parents and teachers, pushing them to make use of the younger years, because people you know, in the youth, we really don't know what we're doing do, we kind of just blend in with the crowd. So really, that's that's probably something for parents to take down that if we don't push our kids or, you know, teachers
and weekend schools, or teachers at school or mentors, if we see somebody with potential, and we don't help them to tap into that potential, they could go down a very different route.
I think the issue of the mentors, I think this is one of the biggest things we're missing now. Because many of us as as do our door shakes, or whatever, I think a lot of us have fallen into, you know, just the online things like everyone else, send me a COVID Obviously, it's an exception, but they generally speaking, you know, most people, they know the machete, they're traveling around the world, they're,
they're doing things online, they're filming, which maybe has more of an impact. But the issue of being in that community and being a mono beam, and you see the outcome that you're saying now Subhanallah it's a great reminder for me, because actually, I forgot about those had these circles.
Who had you know who Angela, who you might assume it's something small, but with
amazing, I forgot all about those things. But now that comes back, and many times I have many stories and as I travel around the world, and I meet people, or they hear something on my lectures, and it impacts them. And it's like a great reminder for me as well as they remind me about it that I just, that's a great reminder for myself about the Hadith inshallah Hamdulillah. That's the importance of memorizing, that's one of the things I was alluding to earlier, as well, as Pinilla even check in with me. And he mentioned the same thing. When he asked him when he became older, they said, you know, he said, All I have left is what I memorize when I was young, you know, the material
that I memorized the books that I've memorized, and that's what you're going to be able to go back to but and that's why I said a lot of times myself, I felt one of the mistakes that I made is I was so busy with you know maybe Darwinists and I put things off so I'm still playing catch up, and a lot of things that I'm still memorizing some stuff I should have memorized way back in the day. I still haven't been finished memorizing the Quran in its entirety until now, but I'm still working, I haven't given up hamdulillah but nonetheless, inshallah I won't give up Inshallah, until I accomplish inshallah. Tada. But the point is, is that something should have been done a long time
ago. It was the decision I made when I was in Medina because I got sick several times. And I didn't want to take advantage of being with the scholars and study more of the scholars. And I remember was when we sat down towards the end of our time there Medina to see me how many classes are we taking a week, in the university, we had 25 classes, now it's less but that my time was 25 periods per week. And I found that I had 25 head up cuz, you know, lessons with the machine outside as well as 50 a week. So that's why the Quran I said, Okay, when I, when I, when I finished when I graduate, I'll finish my memorization of the Quran. But I found later Subhan Allah that You know, that you become
so busy with Tao is something that you didn't realize. And that's the importance of benefiting from those who have been down the path before. And all of those had been down the path before they said, Look, while you're in Medina, this is your time, memorize the entire Quran. But I thought, you know, that I maybe I understood better. I mean, I didn't look at it like that, but that's how it actually came out. Right? That's what maybe they're right. But I'll be able to do it later. But then, you know, like, the responsibility of life, you know, taking care of your family, you know, you're working a full time job, full time Dawa. So this is the problem and a lot of do out, then we go up
to a point I mentioned earlier, which I didn't finish, which was issue of,
you know, the family, a lot of us, we will sacrifice our family for the Dawa. And not everyone means to do it. Like, you know, it's not the intention of the day that you know, family comes second, because obviously, no proper diet would say something like that. But the reality is that sometimes we're so into
our lessons, we're so into, you know, teaching and benefiting others, that we forget those who are closest to us. Whereas if you look at the dow of the province of Salem, who did he start with? He started with his family, giving them the Dow and then obviously, it expanded after that, even if you look at his focus, even how busy he was, and he set out to a Salam. How did I showed up the Allahu Taala Anna, become the great scholar that she was, how did she memorize so much that he would take out from his time to give it to him to be with his wives and to teach them as well? To teach them to benefit them as individuals and then later obviously, to benefit the OMA as well. That's why we have
so many of the Hadith and the Sooners that he used to do in his house la sera to salaam there's no way we could have known those. If I showed up the Allahu anha didn't didn't relay them to us. But he took out the time even something very interesting she mentioned in the Hadith, Radi Allahu Anhu we know from the Sunnah of the Prophet
Alex Ross was salam. And he can cross the Huracan he would hate to stay awake late at night, you'd like to go a bit earlier listen to some obviously, because he's praying half of the night or a little bit more a little bit less, as you know, from certain Muslim mil, the time he would pray during the night. But the point is, is that she said that she would stay awake with him long for many hours speaking to him, et Cie through the night speaking to him, and he would listen to her, he also he would give her the time that she needed. And also, as we know, from the Sunnah, and she said, kind of Matteoli, he was in the service of his of his family, helping out his wife in the
house. So being polite, and being there for them. And creating once again, and you see the example of creating a balance and being there, you know, for your, for your family, and a lot of us will lie and and so once again, I'm going back to your My experience, you're getting started now, we talked about some, you know, possible dollar projects for your future. Yes, Hamlet has very good night, and I hope you're gonna probably go through these things, but
what about your family, you don't want to sacrifice, it's not just for you, it's for everyone, as well, who's listening as well, that we want to make sure that we are able to create that balance. That's why sometimes, um, there might, you know, my family is very patient, or sometimes they have to say, and this is important that also that you have that open relationship with your family. So sometimes, you know, my wife will say, Look, I've ever been out and some time, you know, she would remind me,
just let just last week, actually, you know, my wife was like, you know, remember the last time that you took me out somewhere, you know, because she likes to walk and he just like I do, right? But we've got to have amnesia. You remember last time I went out, she was like I said, okay, okay, I got it. Communication is really important, especially when, when you have many competing priorities, competing things, looking for your attention, to have that communication. Because sometimes, you know, we don't realize, even when we are going down the, the tunnel too far. And the process is the title call hire company, I really want
the best of you to your families. And I'm going to say, My wife got two days in a row home, they're going
to go out and
then it's, it's important and that's it's actually beneficial for you, it's beneficial for the kids, and even Subhan Allah, you know, that if you look at the children, that these are the things that they remember, from the you know, from their mother and father, you know, a lot of the times a lot of the lessons we try to give them and try to teach them. These are not sometimes the things that they remember, but it's those times. And I don't know if you saw the video that I did recently about my father,
fortune 14 life lessons that I came from my father have directed, Mashallah. And I think he didn't realize the impact he had on my life, you know,
you know, I mentioned that one of the things that really had an impact on me even to today, the fact he was running a multimillion dollar business, he's, he's very successful, Mashallah. And he was super busy, I CLB. But when I wanted to dedicate myself to basketball, and to go and train with my coach early in the morning at 5:30am, every day, he would wake up at 510 515 Every day, and he will put on his clothes and drive me into 20 minutes to work or school was we live in the countryside, so 20 minutes and 20 minutes out, he would lose his sleep, sacrificing sleep and his time, in order to give that to me, it has, even to that it has a huge impact on me, that he would do that for me, you
know, being as busy as he was. And so that's where sometimes you have to sacrifice for the family. And those are the things we'll live that your kids are going to remember are going to, to remember. So without having that balance, where you give them their time, some people that might like to have it as a set time. I'm like, one of the things I used to do in Ireland and in quite frequently is that I would, you know, because they are they don't get much sun. As you know, in the UK, it's very similar to
that two days of summer per year, you know,
we would get some sun, I'd be like, Let's go because we were homeschooling, that's one of the benefits of being homeschooled as well, is we're not putting a part of the system. So I was like, you know, what did we do, I said, let's go. I said, let's write out you know, just, you know, grab this grab that, you know, put some tea in a thermos or some like this, go to the beach, go out, you know, to the forest, you know, let's take a walk, whatever, you know, different things that we like to do take the kids to the playground, benefit from the time you know, even a lot of times we will just you know pack up the car and just just go on a road trip
to Ireland is very beautiful, obviously. So we take advantage of those of those times. And obviously when it comes to prioritizing as well and it's one of the things I'm benefiting from in Dallas as well is being well planned and there's something that many of the dots and this is why I told you I'm I'm myself I'm constantly learning constantly want to be better.
When it comes to my schedule now I'm putting my schedule for the entire year. And every time something comes in because a lot of times I forget last week and we had
everything for February Except there's one lecture I had last week and I don't know how I forgot it but the further content we'll get there before I'm delayed reminded me so I was able to put that into my schedule but there's something new I did this year the schedule is actually not very precise. You know, come eat certain thing what's going to happen on that day. And I didn't know colorful way on Monday. I'm disaster. It's pretty cool.
We're having to I can see it visually in front of me. I know, I know exactly what's happening, you know, throughout throughout the year in Central Time. So always trying to organize yourself. Now when it comes to having, you know, content ready, whether it be video content lectures, having that done in advance, not doing things last minute. And then when you do things like that, that's going to help you to be able to spend more time with your family, it's going to help you enjoy your time more at the gym, because you have you have that, that free time in order to then channel down him. Jimmy does that kilo Hill. And that's, I think many practically to take away from that. From
starting from organizing to having a set time in the morning to do your kind of take care for yourself spiritually, physically, and so many benefits for parents, for family people for professionals. Is that gonna help shift nephew? In his last 10 minutes, I'm going to open it up for q&a. And I'm going to look at some of the comments that people have put in here. And I'm going to pose the questions to share if you don't mind. The first one, interestingly, from little crown that's a shift since you've lived in several countries. which country would you recommend to migrate to for the dean? Or are they even we know which country would you recommend? I mean, you're
currently in taking maybe you can start with that. The best country in the world for Muslims living is where you are living. Now, the United Kingdom is what I thought
the UK is the best place for Muslims to live honestly, the freedom you have the community you have the size of communities in certain cities.
Go to Juma in Birmingham on the main road, look at what you see, for the amount of hijab is in the hobbies.
The brothers with the toes and their beards, go to Leicester Sharif, and it see the amount of Muslims inside Yeah, honestly, you know, Bradford is, as an example, and even many communities in London as well. Look at East London Mosque where I give the football before and how many people come there and 12,000 15,000 in numbers? Where do you find that even in the Muslim world, Subhan Allah. So the freedom that we have, you know, in the Western countries, and people always talk about migrating and things like this, I always tell them, the grass isn't always greener. On the other side, there are certain aspects where you might find it better. For example, you know, being in a
club for my wife in Ireland, she felt marginalized, she didn't really enjoy it. And where she finds herself in Turkey to be better. Even though Turkey itself is a secular country, you know, when it comes down, there are a lot of you know, good religious people and things like that. But the original was, it's a secular system, but I'm the learning people in it kind of, it's very similar to your where you, you know,
whatever you do, people don't really care, you kind of do your own thing. So it is nice from the aspect. Irish people were very nice as well, generally speaking. So I'm there, we enjoyed our time in Ireland, and no doubt about that. But it's not always better for you. And also, one of the things I explained to the Muslims in the West as well, is that, you know, even though we might be a Muslim might be practicing. But there's certain things that you're used to a certain system of life, when that system changes, and you don't have that system anymore. It's difficult to deal with, you know, it's not as easy as you as you think. So I mean, I don't, I don't really think there's a turkey is
nice. I mean, the system in Turkey is nice for people to be able to live here, they get a resident if you set yourself up. So Turkey is nice, but then you have the language barrier. That's a big thing, and how many people actually gonna learn the language. But I mean, it's, it's cheap. It's beautiful.
Generally, speaking, the people, the people are nice. I mean, we go to larger cities,
in Istanbul, or anywhere in New York City, London, people are not the nicest people in the in big cities anyways, you'll find every now and then people like that. But generally speaking, they're very nice to people I'm there. So Turkey is it's a good option. If people want to move in when they want to buy they want to purchase. And even there's a program we're looking with some brothers now about migrating to Turkey to set up a community here. And that's one of the things we actually are working on. So that is a possibility. If you are interested in Shala, I'll be posting that on my on my social media as soon as an option. But always we're clear to people that it's not always as you
might think it might be like, well, you're gonna find your dean is better. I mean, many people I know they migrated to, you know, to some Gulf countries thing is gonna be better. And they found that their demand was actually stronger and in Ireland or in the UK, and they actually ended up moving back. And many examples.
I gave him because of myself from from our school, because I can lock in on someone else is asking
how can you find the balance when it comes to giving your children strong Islamic Tobia, strong upbringing while still helping them thrive academically? What do you suggest can help parents achieve this balance without compromising on the religious or the secular?
What are your thoughts on homeschooling Islamic schooling, less influence, etc.
I think the key thing for a strong Islamic upbringing is for them to see Islam in us in our actions. And many times unfortunately, we'll find that
we're not very strong in our Islam and we expect them to be strong in their Islam. They see the weakness that we have and we expect them to be strong in it.
Honestly, it just, it doesn't it doesn't work like that when they see the kids, they mimic the kids that copy, especially at a younger age, when they see Islam within us, no, no doubt that
it's gonna have it's gonna have a big impact on them. And then obviously, it will take an advantage of times to teach them the beauty of Islam. And also the importance of teaching them why times have changed, it's no longer you know, haram Hana, do this don't do that. Kids are different, and they won't understand why. And so you need to explain to them why it's haram. Why is that? Why why we pray five times a day. What is the hikma behind? That? Allah says, That's it. That's enough. When asked any questions you do as you're told to do,
are you are you are you going to be covered?
It's true, if you're not going to pray, but this is not the way you pray five times a day because you need it. When it comes to memorizing the Quran. It's not because Okay, I'm going to have a crown on my head. And I hope to get that in my son memorize the Quran. But the key objective is for you, you're going to benefit from from your memorization, you're memorizing the Cunnamulla law, how beautiful is that, you know, is the claim of your Creator. And you're going to get hustled out, you're going to benefit, it's going to make your mind stronger, it's gonna even make you better academically in your school studies, as studies have proven,
you're gonna you're gonna be able to use the Quran as your guidance as your safety in life. And once you have it here, you're going to be able to you know, it's going to be right away, anything happens to you. And you're going to, you're going to find the idea that you need to know which direction you should take in life. So you're the one who's benefiting from the Quran that Allah is going to love you, when you memorize his Kalam and you implement in your life and law is going to help you is going to assist you is going to be there for you. So you're the one who's benefiting this, you see that this we're getting the same objective, which is the memorization of the Quran, but in a
different way, that's going to truly be something that's beneficial, something they're going to hold on to, when it comes to homeschooling and environment Western influence. Obviously, I'm a big, big, pro homeschooler, especially for those in the anywhere in the world. I think, as someone who has an edge, I'm specialized in education, as well just I want to point out as well that you have some kids that went through normal schooling, and you have some skills that will homeschool. Is that right? That's correct, yes. And you're an educator you've taught in schools you've taught out of school, so you're in really good position to advise on this one. And I'm also an academic advisor. So I
shouldn't say the things I do, because
my business. But the reason I'm still involved in schooling is because it's a reality. Not everyone is going to see things like I see. And that everything is good is going to not everyone is going to follow that that path. I understand that most kids, they realized that most parents believe we have to put our kids in school and our kids have to be in school. And they've been like most things in life, people just have been brainwashed, they're part of the flock of sheep who just go, so you're not gonna be able to change the mindset of most people. This is the reality. But I believe one of the worst things you can do for your children's even not just for their Tobia, not just for their
Iman, even for their education, one of the worst things you can do is send your kid to school, if you want to ruin your kid, send him to school, that's basically you know, every now and then you'll find some of them were saved, and they're okay at the end and Hamdulillah. But that's one of the worst things you can do. It's something and in the school system, you can see it it was designed for factory workers, you wake up this time you go in this is similar to a prison, you've seen many, many of the things they've done online about this similarities when it's not something a situation that a kid should be in, and most of the stuff you're learning in school anyways, it's not really what
you're going to need in life. I mean, no doubt, even when we study with homeschooling, we follow a certain system a certain curriculum, because they have to have that in life, obviously, they have to have that work. If they want to, you know, go to university, they want to, you know, have a certain career, the future they're going to need those certificates. So obviously, we don't, you know, unschool as some might say, which I think that's actually what needs to be done. But anyway, we follow the curriculum, and we obviously give them what we benefit my kids now they're doing online homeschooling, and they always contact us and they say, your kids always disappear at one o'clock.
I'm not going to keep my kids in school two to three, they're there from nine to three. So they go to kickboxing they go to they go to train martial arts to go the horse riding they do the things they're supposed to be doing his kids you know, they have a private Arabic tutor who comes into the house I'm not gonna sit them from the screen six hours learning this and they're gonna go through it with their mom at the end and shall him do okay in their exam you know, so they always miss you know, one of one of the funny things is is that I've that I'm on their older brother, he's one of their teachers and they always miss his class you know
this
you back from Malaysia. He said look, no special treatment because my brother he's and I'm giving him a zero when it comes to their attendance.
So as long as they're benefited educate, I don't really care about what they get on their grades as long as they do their best in their learning and Hamdulillah I said they're doing other things at that time. So this is the thing and later inshallah the SATs or whatever in the future, they will in general be able to, to get high grades if they need it in shallow data. So hamdullah this is this is the way the way I look at it, you know, but also have to be I have to be fair
homeschooling is not for everyone, not not everyone has the patience and the ability to do that. And I think, you know, COVID has proven to a lot of people, how bad they are at parenting, you know, it's easy to, you know, to think you're a good parent, when you're, you're throwing your kid to the school for, you know, eight to 10 hours a day, and you rarely see them. And when they come home, you throw them in front of a device. But now as they're sitting in front of you, 24/7, you're like, Wow, this is, this is tough. And being
that it's, it's actually, it's actually very challenging. So I think a lot of people have realized that, honestly, this is one of the main challenges. So if you can't, you can't, then you look at the best environment. Obviously, a lot of things are being taught to the kids in school, which go against what we believe as Muslims, you also have to be aware of that you have to be
you have to you have to teach them, especially you have to be frank with your kids, you know, what's hot, what's hot on what we believe as Muslims, obviously, using ACHEMA, you don't want to cause any problems for for them or for yourself and the system. But that you it has to be clear, you have to take out that time to look at the nonsense that they're being fed and they're being taught. Obviously, in the UK, there are several examples, I think, you know, what I'm alluding to one of the big ones.
But even when it comes to the issue in the in the sciences, and in this and even coming to the issue of atheism and things like that, which is being widespread evolution, all of this, where they need to be taught, obviously, what is the proper understanding? When it comes to that
is I can look at if there's another question here.
What would you suggest to deal with the pressures of disappointment in your working life when you try to make other priorities?
What the obviously any when it comes to
but in the UK context, you know, it's either, you know, Salah hijab is kind of the apparent things that I could think of immediately or even for example, in some people in very competitive careers, you know, if you don't take your client to the pub, or if you don't join the the crew in the pub, then you know, you're going to be disadvantaged, you're not going to get promoted, etc, etc. And how can you deal with those things that stem from, perhaps your dean or from other parties, family practice, etc. And to be honest with you, it's it's not as I think, as difficult as sometimes we make it out to be many stories, many examples of those who were devoted to their religion, and put
their religious religion first and their careers refused to do haram things. As you mentioned, Sister refused to take off her hijab brother refused to leave his prayer time, refused to go to the pub, and yet they excelled. And they became you know, from from those who have high positions, and their companies and in their career. So there's many examples that we can give. So you need but this is one of the tricks of shea Athan is he makes us believe, if we don't compromise, we're not going to be able to what we're not going to be able to reach our true potential, our true goals, and this from TBC bliss, whereas the reality is that so many people have reached that level, and yet what
they are not from those who compromise and then Subhan Allah that we cannot forget the baraka the blessings from Allah subhanho wa Taala that when we you know create a balance you said and family life and working life, not compromising when it comes to our deen the law puts blessing and Baraka net. So even if apparently I don't have enough as much money in the bank account as I would, by working, you know,
35 hours a week as I would if I were to work, you know, 100 hours a week, but I have the bulk of being with my children, I have the bulk of spending the time in the masjid in my salon and no Quran. And then you find even the tranquility and peace you have. And even the bulk of that envelope puts into your money. And in many of the times, you'll see that it's something that we have, we wouldn't have if we were to have sacrificed or compromised and all those guys, he was a talent when it comes I was speaking recently about the many of the Duat. Who believe by compromising that I'm going to reach a bigger audience, I'm going to have a bigger impact because I was able to reach a bigger
audience, because I compromise on certain things that the Dean was once again. Is this correct or not look at the great Imams throughout the history. The ones who refuse to compromise. They're the ones whose knowledge stayed and remained. And they're the ones who had the big outreach and then even in the times that we live in many of the scholars, if you look for example, like Chef Latifi May Allah make things easy for him. Look at the level he reached that original. He wasn't someone who compromised he wasn't someone who who left things from the deen, who wanted to please everyone he came with what he sought to be correct from the Quran and the Sunnah. 20 million followers bro on
social media. What kind of a ship has that you know, so many of the ones who have the biggest outreach, they're the ones who refuse to compromise but yet many of our brothers, May Allah guide us and guide them they believe that we have to compromise in order to reach our potential. Allama Stan, may Allah forgive us and help us I mean,
I will take a couple of more question if you're up for them. Someone's asking. One moment. Nobody asks. One thing that causes stress is the importance on rights of family and neglecting your own rights.
as a as an expense, once you start taking care of yourself, you receive negative comments how to deal with that. Yeah, and I know about that. I mean, even sometimes you'll have a smile from some of your closest family members. Oh boy, we know, you could help out around the house, but you're gonna go to the gym, right?
So you could go out with your kids, but you go into the gym, I also have to take care of myself at the same time. But when he in one aspect might be, like I said, knock it out, like Fajr time. No, we're no one's really there anyways, they can't really say anything about it at that time, because you've taken might be waking up an hour earlier might be waking up two hours earlier, you might wake up at sometimes, like I was doing many times my life at 4:30am 5am 4am, you wake up at that time you knock that everything, the family wakes up, you've got your workout in, you finish your Quran session, so Hamdulillah, then you're doing your work and you're you help with your family, whatever
you need to do. So that might be what you have to do. But you're gonna have to realize you're going to, you're going to receive negative comments. But once you have clear objectives, this is what I'm going to do. Look, I'm going to take care of myself, I'm going to go to the gym, I'm going to work out six, seven days a week, I'm going to I'm going to take out some time maybe to go for a walk to go for a hike, to take care of my not just my physical also mentally, being out in nature, it has a huge impact on myself. And that's going to help me be better. As a father, it's going to help me be better as a husband to help me be better as a son or as a daughter. When I take care of myself, my
spiritual time, yes, I'm taking time with them taking time with dhikr. Because I need that Allah created me with this rule hand side, that means I need to nourish feed it, feed it just like I need to feed my body take care of my body. So all of these things, we need to have that and realize there's going to be negative comments, there's going to be that you have to be able to reply to them say, Look, I understand that, but I'm going to take care of myself. And I'm gonna take all this time for myself and for my body.
Mass or what have you. It will take one last question chef.
What What books do you recommend on time management and managing good habits, etc.
There's many good books out there, I've listened to a lot of audiobooks. Even one of the books which I had on site for a long time, it's actually I'm using as my platform right now, which is the four hour workweek.
I've heard it, I read through it before I'm actually reading through it again, and even listen to the audio as well is to be able to, you know, to see it in a way that where you're wasting a lot of your time on a lot of the things and be able to put you know less time in but get more more benefit out. So I think that's, you know, one of the key things, obviously, you have like Steven COVID, seven habits and things like that, that's also very good.
The five second rule I heard recently as well about him about two years ago,
by Mel Robbins, that's also one of the good books. I mean, I could go through my audible thing and see now which ones I've heard, and I don't remember all the names off the top of my head. But those are something, some good books that I've benefited from. And you have other things, you know, like Extreme Ownership. I've benefited a lot from that book as well. The tribe of mentors, Timothy Ferriss, those are some other good books as well.
That I've benefited a lot from as well, even like a lot of Tony Robbins books have benefited. And that's the key thing as a believer that we
we need to, you know, if someone has something good to offer that we benefit from it, there's a famous Hadith, the author, the the, it's not as not authentic, but the meaning as the scholarship is, is authentic, which is correct, which is
not at the moment that the Hikmah the wisdom is the last belonging, belonging of the believer, wherever he finds it, he takes it. So a lot of times you'll see that a lot of times, I'll post on, I think just Twitter recently, I was reading a quote, I went back to my old lectures, and I found a quote that I've written down by one by Malcolm X one by Nelson Mandela, one was by Aristotle, I just posted on my Twitter and I liked the quote, you know, so is that they say or Khafre said it's stuck for law, you know, benefit,
good, good to offer and even even even one of the books that are looking at my audible here now is just one of the books that I listened to recently because like when I walk or even doing things around the house, I love to even sometimes want to workout or listen to an audiobook and one of the things I actually was Trump's The Art of the Deal and I get this
I was doing some doing some things obviously in real estate and things like that as well one of the things I'm working on so I listened to it humbler and I may there's some benefit there hamdulillah there the book The the lecture that he gave about make your bed you know the famous one on YouTube on YouTube, the general from the Navy SEALs also he has a small book about that I read that and crushing it very Gary Vee also for any good book which I've listened to a lot and benefited from Rich Dad Poor Dad. I'm glad I listened to
it to be able to benefit from obviously there could be some aspects and then when you look for example, like Rich Dad, Poor Dad, a lot of things could be done when it comes to like Riba interested
Seems like that but
we don't have to take from all that we can benefit from from from some of the aspects, you know, our understanding of money and I've benefited a lot from that and a lot of things that we don't know so I think we need to have a broader
a broader you know, outlook on how to benefit start with why also is a very good book
that from
from those Yeah, so these are some of the books that I've benefited is that that's that's really that's a whole list there for you to go and read away for the next couple of years in Oslo.
Also the books even though I bought I have all the hard copies as well. I listened to them back honestly, I don't I love times, we have a lot of time to listen more than some that we put our airpots and then we just we go on from that so I'm actually I just finished recently because here's my list.
If I go down on my audible you can see much other have a lot of books, you know, so I finished now 16 books or audiobooks. That's brilliant. I think that's another good time. A good lesson in in balancing priorities is that sometimes when you can multitask if you actually can multitask, then you know, listen to something beneficial as well.
Just like Calaca chef Rahim and thank you to all our listeners and those who asked questions. Inshallah, don't forget to follow us Academy to like and share this video this recording, as well as the other podcast you've done. Follow us on iTunes on pod Bean, and other podcast platforms such as iTunes and keep your eye out for upcoming courses, podcasts and discussions. Once more that can occur Schiff and Rahim and all the best to our listeners are Salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh