Abdul Wahab Saleem – Can I Force My Daughter Into Marriage? #40 For Her

			Prophet SAW said when he said that a woman who has been married before, she should be given the
decision. When she is being married off latin capital, he Mohatta to stammer until she is questioned
or she's asked, and she's given her choice whether you want to get married to this man or not, okay?
However, the prophet SAW Selim said why Latin kettleby crew had to stop and ask for a woman who
happens to be a virgin, she shouldn't be married x, except until she's, he's just asked. So the
first one, she's given the choice.
		

			Okay, so basically, if the father wants to marry her off to someone else, she can veto that and say,
You know what, I don't want this man. Because she knows how men are she has been in a relationship
before she knows what our relationship entails, etc. So the profits that Selim gave her the veto
power, that you know what you can decide on your own. And
		

			for the second one, the prophets, I said limb said, for the Virgin, the Prophet says that she should
still be asked for permission, at least. Okay. Now, many people, they end up looking at this Hadith,
and they understand the opposite of what the Prophet is saying. So they say that in the case of the
		

			Virgin, the prophet SAW, Selim actually said that she should be married, and she should her own,
your permission should be sought, meaning it's not necessary, she doesn't have a veto power in this
particular case. Now, I
		

			say that in terms of legalities, this may be true, technically speaking. But if you take the words
of the prophet to sell them, that's not what he's trying to encourage here. Okay. The problem with
us a lot of people is that, we end up seeing what the books have fixed, say, without remembering
that books are fit happened to be books of law. And we often in our interactions with one another,
we resort to books of law, when we disagree. When there's a disagreement. in normal circumstances,
we don't pull out the books of law and say, Look, it's hard for me to do this. Look, it's
technically okay for me to force you into marriage, a man says to his daughter for free, for
		

			instance, why? Because this might have said or that might have said, etc. That's not the type of
thing that these people who are codifying Islamic law are even thinking. Because the books of
Islamic law were not accessible for through Google searches in the past, they were given to judges,
literally, the books of Islamic law, they were primarily used for what they were used by judges. And
that's why in every country where the judicial system would be based on one method, the books of
that, but that would be readily available, and that people would primarily study that method as
well. Because with through this method, they would become lawyers and judges, do you understand? So
		

			you don't bring the letter of the law, when we're dealing with practical real life situations. This
is very, very important because many parents end up forcing their daughters into marriage, just
saying that, technically, based on the letter of the law, I'm allowed to do this. And then the
Myskina she goes through a lot of trouble within her life. She didn't she hates her father and hates
her husband and hates everyone involved, because she was forced into, into marriage. Right.
		

			So we say that, leave the technicalities aside, look at what the Prophet is saying. He's saying that
		

			a woman who has been in a relationship before she's it a year or a year, she is given the authority
completely IE she has the veto power if her father wants to get married to someone else, asked for a
woman who has not been in that relationship. She's a virgin, then she should still be asked for
permission. Now, they asked how do we know she's giving the permission Oh, Prophet of Allah. The
prophet SAW, Selim said and this good that she is silent. Now imagine what the Prophet would say, if
she's screaming out loud saying I don't want this bad.
		

			Do you understand what I'm trying to say? But people they take the letter of the law and they say,
you know what, technically I'm right. The Sharia is on my side that even if it is on your side,
		

			technicalities are not used in real life always. Okay. This is very, very important. to note.
technicalities just means, okay, this contract was valid.
		

			Does doesn't mean it was the best thing to do. Doesn't mean it was the most ethical thing to do
doesn't mean there was the the best interest for your daughter, as well. That's why what I encourage
is that if you have a daughter, then give them an opportunity to decide they're going to be living
the life. You know, many parents they're like, you know, we also have to make sure the parents are
right. Why because how are we going to have
		

			your you're not going to have a very long relation.
		

			In Japan, he was with the parents, the daughter is going to be all the time with that husband and
the husband will be all most of the time with that wife as well. So let them decide on their own.
Even if you have a poor relationship with the parent in laws, it doesn't really matter.
		

			What matters is that the husband and the wife, they have a good relationship with each other. That's
what matters. You don't have to play footsies with the parent and loss, okay, you don't have to be
buddy buddies with them. It doesn't have many times you think that they're going to be great people,
but later on, you get into a fight as well. So how do you know? So that's why let them decide. Let
them come to an agreement if that family if that individual is in the best interest of the daughter,
and that girl happens to be in the best interest of that man, then Miss Mila right