Zia Sheikh – Ramadan 2015 Khatira Day 28
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The speakers discuss the need for parents to respect and love their children for success in life and parenthood. They emphasize the importance of individuality and respect for parents in achieving success, and address the issue of breastfeeding children during pregnancy to prevent health damage. They also discuss the importance of praying for people who have less than one million dollars and avoid negative behavior.
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I'm going to be doing some verses which
I spoke of at the start, which is
in the first surah of the twenty-sixth
juz'.
And these verses actually, if we reflect upon
them, they will highlight to us the circle
of life that probably many of us have
experienced already or are experiencing or will experience.
And it basically is the time where as
a child we are instructed to respect our
parents and cherish them and look after them
and so on.
And then after that, the reality of parenthood
and how much it entails and how serious
it is, it doesn't really kick in until
a person becomes a parent himself.
And then when he reaches a certain age
and his kids are now teens, then he
remembers his parents and what they had to
go through.
So this is basically what we can reflect
on upon these verses.
How many times have we told our teenagers
that you don't understand right now, but you
will understand when you have kids of your
own.
Right?
You probably either have said it already or
will say it very soon.
So it's going to happen to all of
us.
So Allah SWT tells us in Surah Al
-Ahqaf وَوَصَيْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ بِالْوَالِدَيْهِ الْإِحْسَانَ The respect of
the parents and treating them well.
This has been mentioned many places in the
Qur'an and this is one of those
places.
We advise the human being that to do
Ihsan with his parents, to do good with
his parents, to perfect his relationship with the
parents.
The word Ihsan, it entails a lot of
meaning.
Ihsan, perfection, doing good, favoring others.
So always do good with the parents.
So this is what we've been taught.
Allah SWT is saying this is our advice
and this is what we've ordered people to
do.
حَمَّلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا His mother carried
him with difficulty and she gave birth to
him with difficulty.
So nine months of carrying around a weight
of maybe, I think from the period of
pregnancy, a person, a woman is supposed to
raise about 45 to 50 pounds.
You can imagine that you walk around with
50 pounds tied to your belt, tied to
your waist and then you will realize how,
and you do that for just a week
and then you realize that the mother has
to do that at least for the latter
stages of pregnancy all the time, at least
the last three months or so.
So how difficult it must be.
So she carries him with difficulty, his mother
carried him with difficulty and وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا and
she gave birth to him with difficulty.
And then on top of that, it was
not just the birth.
وَحَمْلُهُ وَفِصَالُهُ ثَلَاثُونَ شَهْرًا The whole period of
the pregnancy and the separation is a period
of 30 months.
So now a minimum of six months of
pregnancy and then 24 months of breastfeeding, in
the first two years, the mother cannot leave
the child alone because everything basically the child
picks up goes in the mouth.
Poisonous, non-poisonous, the child doesn't know, doesn't
realize.
So everything goes in the mouth, so the
mother has to take care of the child
and make sure that the child is not
doing anything that would be dangerous.
So at least two years, the child has
to be looked after to make sure that
that's not happening.
And on top of that, breastfeeding for the
period of two years.
So a total of 30 months, the mother
has to go through that difficulty.
Now, this situation, now Allah SWT fast-forwards.
That same child now reaches the age of
40 years old.
Allah SWT describes at the age of 40
what the person's attitude is supposed to be,
what kind of a mindset he's supposed to
have, what kind of attitude he's supposed to
have, what things should he be prioritizing, what
things should he be thinking about.
One of the biggest complaints I have from
many sisters, they complain is that my husband
is immature.
He comes home and he plays video games.
I mean, this is something that children do
and the wife complained that the husband is
playing video games up until this point.
And he's reached an age where he has
kids and so on.
So there are stages in a person's life
where a person needs to realize that this
is something that I need to let go
now.
I've reached a certain state in my life
where I need to move on.
I need to take things more seriously.
So Allah SWT describes at the age of
40 the mindset that a person is supposed
to have.
And if we have all reached 40, we
need to think about the qualities that Allah
SWT has mentioned, each and every one of
them, and think have we got those in
our life or not.
So, also keep in mind that when we
say 40 years old, this would be in
Hijri years.
So really that would be around 37, 38
years of solar years.
So even the bar has been set even
lower for us to kind of attain.
So if a person is that age, then
what is the attitude he's supposed to have?
Allah says, Until that same boy, that same
child that was in the mother's womb and
he's been advised to respect his parents, he
reaches his maturity and he reaches 40 years.
What does he say?
He starts making a dua Allah SWT, What
does he say?
According to some riwayat, this was the dua
of Sulaiman A.S. The wording is very
similar to the wording that you find in
surah An-Naml.
And according to some riwayat, this was the
dua of Abu Bakr As-Siddiq R.A.
Okay, so the wording is, Gratitude
entails obedience, staying away from his disobedience, you
know, enjoining everything that is good, staying away
from all forms of evil, basically setting goals
in one's life that are to please Allah
SWT.
Okay, so, All that give you the tawfiq
and the ability to be grateful to your
blessings that you've blessed upon me, that you've
given to me, and also upon my parents.
Okay, so, the blessings that you've given to
my parents, all of the things that you've
given to my parents.
So, ni'mah, unfortunately, Allah SWT says in many
places in the Quran that the human being
is ungrateful.
And, we had this last night.
This is one of the verses in Surah
Al-Ma'arij.
Allah SWT says, many places in the Quran
Allah SWT describes that the human being is
very ungrateful to his master.
So, how do we be grateful to the
blessings that Allah SWT has given us?
Allah SWT gave us a very simple remedy.
Always look at the one who has less
than you.
Okay, so, if a person, he has even
half a million dollars in his account, he
will look at the one who has a
million and feel ungrateful for the half a
million that he has.
However, that same person, if he has even
five thousand in his account, he will feel
grateful for the fact that Allah SWT gave
him that five thousand when he looks at
a person who doesn't even have five hundred
in his pocket.
Okay, so, we always should look at the
person that has less than us and not
the person who has more than us.
Because ultimately, there's always going to be somebody
who's richer than you.
Somebody who has more than you.
Somebody who has a bigger house than you.
Somebody who has a better job than you
or better paying job than you.
Somebody who has a nicer car than you.
Where is it going to stop?
Okay, there's always going to be somebody who's
going to be in that situation which is
better than yours.
So, why not be grateful for the blessings
that Allah has given us and look at
the person who has less than us and
we will truly be grateful for what he
has given us.
So, Allah gives me the tawfiq to be
grateful for the blessings that you've given me
and upon my parents.
And that I should do such good deeds
that are pleasing to you.
I should do good deeds that are pleasing
to you.
And then he says something very powerful.
And correct for me my progeny.
Correct for me my progeny.
Okay, there's one thing to just pray for
them to be pious which we all do
anyway, right?
We should pray for them to always be
pious.
But this dua suggests that a person is
really worried that the progeny could be disobedient
to him and will not benefit him either
in his life or after he's passing away.
Because one of the main things that we
look for for our children is that after
I pass away at least my children should
be making dua for me for my mother.
Okay, at the very least.
And this is one of those things that
one of those a'mal that are always accepted
even after the son of Adam dies, right?
So at the very least we want our
children to pray for us and be beneficial
to us.
And of course in this world as we
grow older we also want them to be
a shoulder to lean on and for them
to look after us.
So the person is making a dua after
he realizes at the age of 40 when
he is getting on a bit he's maybe
seeing his first grey hair he's saying and
correct for me my progeny correct for me
my progeny.
So this is the dua that a person
makes.
At that point also at the age of
40 if a person is engaged in sin
and disobeying Allah SWT he needs to seriously
start making tawbah for Allah SWT and seeking
repentance and this is what the ayah says
indeed I have sought tawbah from you I
have returned back to you and I have
submitted myself to you completely I am from
amongst the Muslims the ones who surrendered themselves
to you O Allah SWT.
So at the age of 40 a person
should really start thinking about letting go of
all of the bad habits that he has
inside him.
So what does Allah SWT say about such
people that come to this realization and this
maturity?
Allah says أَحْسَنَ مَا عَمِلُوا وَنَتَجَاوَزُوا عَنْ سَيِّئَادِهِمْ
فِي أَصْحَابِ الْجَنَّةِ وَعَبِ السِّدْقِ الَّذِي كَانُوا يُعَجُونَ
They are the ones that Allah says that
we will forego that we will accept the
good deeds that they do the best of
what they do we accept it and any
mistakes that they make after making that kind
of tawbah and trying to set these kinds
of goals in their life obviously everybody slips
up from time to time everybody makes mistakes
from time to time but Allah says that
as long as the person maintains that goal
of tawbah and trying to please Allah SWT
وَنَتَجَاوَزُوا عَنْ سَيِّئَادِهِمْ we will forego we will
forgive the سَيِّئَاد the bad deeds that a
person might slip up and do and the
person is going to be في أصحاب الجنة
he will be amongst the companions of Jannah
وَعَبِ السِّدْقِ الَّذِي كَانُوا يُعَجُونَ the truthfulful message
that they have been promised so we really
need to think about and focus on these
verses and think about where we are at
our age and think of the goals that
we've set for ourselves in the future and
think that how much we can implement this
verse into our lives I pray that Allah
SWT gives us the fiqh to understand and
practice what we've said