Yusuf Estes – Raising Up Daughters Generously Is A Shield From Hell Fire

			Bismillah Alhamdulillah you're watching way of the Muslim defining the Muslim character, and I'm
your host use Festus. For the next few minutes, we want to be talking about a very important subject
in the development of character. It's the role that we have in the relationship with the children.
We're taking our information from the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, and then
interpreting and translating his words from the Arabic to the English. That is called Paddy. And
we'll begin with the first one today, talking about dealing with children. This is narrated on the
authority of Ayesha de la Juana Li be pleased with her. She says that, a lady alone with her two
		

			daughters came to me and asked me for some charity. But she found nothing with me except one day, I
gave her the date, and she divided it between her two daughters. And then she got up and went away.
When the Prophet peace be upon him came in, and I informed him about this story. He said, whoever is
in charge, meaning to be put to the test by these daughters, and then treats them generously, then
they will act as a shield for him.
		

			From the hellfire.
		

			An explanation of this particular video, there's a couple of points I'd like to make at the time of
Muhammad, peace be upon him. Before Islam came,
		

			there was amongst the people a very bad habit, and that was to bury their daughters alive when they
would have a child born that was a girl, they would bury them alive. So when Islam came, it forbid
this horrible practice. So this is an example here, of showing the mercy that comes with Islam, and
talking about the relationship of the parents, with their children, especially if their daughters, I
want to repeat it for you again, because this is the way of Muhammad peace be upon us to repeat
important statements, and let you hear it, reminding you that our lady is coming to the wife of the
Prophet peace be upon him and asking for some kind of charity or help. She said the only thing I had
		

			was the date. So when I gave it to the lady, the lady split it in two and a half to one of the
daughters have to the other daughter, but then she had nothing herself, and went away. So when the
Prophet peace be upon him came and was informed of what happened, then he makes the statement that
whoever's in charge of such daughters like this and treats them generously, then this meaning the
act that they have done, will be so that it's a shield for them from the hellfire.
		

			The profit now this, we're going to talk about another hidden eat here. And it says the Prophet came
toward us.
		

			while carrying omona, the daughter of us over his shoulder, he prayed. And when he wanted to bow,
he, he put her down, and then he stood up, and he lifted her up. This is given us another
demonstration of the humbleness the Rockman, toward the children. I personally experienced this
myself, when I first came into Islam, I had two daughters. This is why this touches me so deeply to
talk about this, because I had these two little girls with me. And I would take them to the masjid
with me. And when it came time to pray, I didn't want them to stray away or bother anybody. So I
would have one who would be standing right by my leg, and the other one I would be holding her in my
		

			arms. And I had heard about such a hadith is this, and that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
used to very much approve of this kind of action that you have your children close to you,
especially in your acts of worship. And then when I would bow, I would hold the one like this while
I would bow in the prayer, and then stand back up with it. And then when it's time to prostrate,
just put it right there. And then I would put my face down close to the ground, she would like kiss
my face, and it was really sweet. And now today, these are grown ladies married and
		

			inshallah going to soon have children of their own. And I'm looking at them now and remembering
these events and thinking how much effect it must have had on them. Because they have always kept up
their prayers through their whole entire life. I've always been worshipping Allah by fasting and
doing the acts of charity. And when we're talking about the charity, I recall one time during he
that one of my daughters was given some money, you know, as a gift from some of the other Muslims.
And she took this money immediately without even counting or looking at it. She smiled and walked
straight over to the collection box for the sadhika and put the money into there, as if to say that,
		

			you know what, this is great. I have something now that I can give like other people give. So it
shows that by starting your children out young and acts of worship and having them to be involved in
worship.
		

			Along with you. This is it pays off. It pays off here in this life because you see your children
grow up is good Muslims, good, responsible citizens. But then on the Day of Judgment, this is also
going to be a shield for you from the hellfire. And that's what the prophet sighs lamb is indicating
here. Now I'd like to share another one with you. He says that this is Abu huraira rhodiola one is
talking about the profits are some he said that Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him. kista has
an even alley. And this Hassan Ali is the son of Ali, and the grandson of the prophet SAW some sweet
stone that his grandson. And this happens well, another companion was sitting beside him.
		

			And one said, I have 10 children, and I've never kissed any of them.
		

			And the prophet SAW lights on on, cast a look over at him. And he said, Whoever is not merciful to
others will not be treated mercifully. And he's talking about a lot.
		

			So it's really important for us to have mercy toward the children I hear it's talking about kissing
them, the prophet peace be upon him is kissing his grandson. And somebody else is observing that and
says, You know what, I have 10 kids, and I've never kissed any of them.
		

			He's saying now if you're not kissing them, this is not being merciful to them, and who's not
merciful to them, in fact, is not going to be shown mercy on the Day of Judgment.
		

			It's interesting in the West, I found, especially in the in the last years, that a lot of people are
refraining from kissing their children. As a matter of fact, it seems strange to see a child be
kissed by the parents. And even the children will say no, and don't kiss me, you know, I'm in front
of my friends that looks kind of you know what? That kind of a baby or something? Come on. Mom,
don't kiss me. Come on dad, you know. And in fact, in some cases, when parents are seen kissing
their children, people have a tendency to look at this as being something weird. Why are you kissing
your children? I know that when I visit Muslim countries and talk about this, they say that even
		

			though my father is elderly, and I have children of my own, my father still kisses me. And I recall
a situation that occurred in my own life, that when my father entered into his name, when he got
old, very, very old and couldn't take care of himself anymore, he lived with us. And while he was
sitting in his chair, and I was working at the computer at this, I do all the time on the internet,
you know, and I heard some racket going on in the kitchen. And it was my two daughters fighting over
which one of them needs to do the dishes next? And one is saying no, you have to know you have to
know and they start a fight. So I started to go in there and settled the argument. But as I got to
		

			the door, I realized when I go in there, you know what they're gonna do. They're gonna say, some
icon, Daddy, I'm gonna say what's going on? They're gonna say nothing, cuz that's what they always
do. I decided, you know what, I saw my father sitting there. I let me go to my father. And let me
just give him a big kiss on the head. You know why? Because I know that me and my sisters gave him
this same kind of problem all the time we were growing up, I'm positive that he didn't share that.
So I went to my father, and I kissed him on the forehead. And I said that I love you know, this was
not a custom that we had in our family before we came to Islam. But I wanted to do that because this
		

			is in Islam. I went to my father, aged in his mid 80s, etc. And I kissed him on the floor, and I
said, that I love you. And I kissed his forehead. I went and sat in my chair, returned back to my
work. It got quiet out in the kitchen Anyway, after a while one of my daughters she came out and
went straight to me and my chair. She kissed me on my forehead. And she said that I love you.
		

			This really touched me, you know, and I was sitting there thinking, My gosh,
		

			what's this? This is what I just did with my dad.
		

			And a little bit later, after the other one finished doing the dishes, she came out and walked up to
me, kiss me in the exact same place and said, Dad, I love you.
		

			I started crying. Neither one of them had known that I kissed my father like this, that Allah is
showing us. This is a very good lesson for us that this Rockman this mercy that we show to our
children is something that's passed on as I kissed my father. So my children also kiss me the same
way.
		

			And you know, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam taught us that how you treat your children is how your
children are going to treat you. So those of you who are young
		

			And you're thinking in terms of, you know, when I've got children, what am I going to do with them?
And how will I behave with them, then think about how you treat your parents. Because how you treat
your parents is how your children will treat you. This is a very good example that we have in Islam.
		

			Then, we have another one here is on the same subject of the children kissing them. There was a
desert dweller called a Bedouin. And he came to the Prophet peace be upon him, he said, You people,
you kiss your boys, but we don't kiss them. And the Prophet said, I cannot put mercy in your heart
after Ally's taking it away from you. So once again, we see this example. And it's a excellent
example, that the mercy in the heart is being used as is a comparison to kissing our children.
		

			I realize that for some people that don't have this habit, they might find it strange. And they find
it a little bit weird. But the children need this, they need to feel this physical contact, to be
hugged, tend to be kissed. And this is something that Islam is not just encouraging. It's insisting
on this good relationship between the parents and the children.
		

			Some of the companions of the Prophet sallallaahu salam were brought before the prophet and a woman
up from them, was milking her own breast to feed the little children who were without mothers. And
it was something that the children they were captives that they had, that
		

			didn't have any milk to drink, this woman would take her own milk and give it to these children.
		

			She had lost her child, but later found it. And so she was able to do this. And the Prophet said to
us, do you think that this lady can throw her son in the fire? And we said, No, if she has the power
not to throw it in the fire, the prophet said, Allah is more merciful to his servants than this lady
is to her son. Now in this example, what we have is a woman who's lost her child.
		

			And when some captives have been brought in, and they're without parents little, like orphaned
children, they're needing milk, and this lady's giving milk from her own breast to these children.
		

			And so the prophet SAW the light with tsunamis explaining something here, man, the example he said,
Would such a woman is so merciful, even to other people's children, which he ever thought or
childhood wiring is saying, not if she has the power to avoid, she wouldn't. And so Allah is saying,
and Allah, he's even more merciful than this. And so this shows us some of the characteristics that
we can develop in building the character of the Muslim, you're watching way of the Muslim, we want
to take a break and come back to this subject of dealing with the youth. Standby.
		

			This middle handler, we're back, you're watching way of the Muslim defining the Muslim character.
We've been talking on the subject of how we deal with children, and how children deal with parents.
We've been comparing this kissing and hugging as a form of mercy. even to the extent that whoever
doesn't do this is not being merciful with the children. As such, the one who doesn't show mercy
won't be shown mercy by Almighty Allah. So I want to continue in that same vein, I'd like to mention
to you a couple more on this subject before we move on. And that is that the Prophet peace be upon
him.
		

			Oh, was confronted by ablon. He said, I said, O Messenger of a law, which is the greatest of sins.
He said, it's the set up a partner with a law and worship. Although he alone greeted you. I said,
Okay, then what's next? He said, it's to kill your son, fearing that he'll share the food with you.
		

			And I further ask what next, he said is to commit illegal sexual * with the neighbor, the
wife of your neighbor. And then Allah revealed as a proof for the statement of profit. And this is
in your afrikan, Chapter 25, verse 68, those who invoke not with the law, any other God. And I would
like to encourage you to read that from your Quran. By the way, if you don't have a Quran, need to
get a copy of that in the language that easiest for you to read from, read these verses for yourself
and enjoy the meaning of it. But in any case, this is a great lesson person. It says here, that of
the law is asking Prophet Muhammad peace be upon about the greatest sin the all the
		

			Previous monotheistic religions have in their revelations, this statement of not worshiping any god
alongside of God, there's no other God beside God. And that's exactly the greatest sin here as well.
And he said after that,
		

			he said, well, that means the greatest sin. The next is if you kill your son fearing that he'll eat
your food. Again, this was a practice. You see, in those days, people used to kill their children,
because they feared What if we have too many children, then there won't be enough food. But this
implies that a person doesn't really understand that the food is not something you have to be
concerned about. Your children are not going to eat something that was for you to eat. for Muslims,
we know that every single bite of food that's written for you to have, you're going to have it and
whatever was written for them to have, they're gonna have it too. So it is wrong for us to take the
		

			life of a child, and suspecting that they're going to interfere with our own well being, or our risk
is a con Arabic, daily bread.
		

			He says,
		

			I said what's next after that, he was talking about having illegal sexual * with the
neighbor's wife. And then Allah revealed the verses that are pertinent to this topic. It's
interesting to me, having been a Christian, to come into Islam, and realize that these are the same
beautiful teachings from the previous revelations. This is not something new. This is the same exact
concept of what's the priority number one is to have the right belief.
		

			And this is the same thing that we find in the Holy Scriptures from before. So it's not a new
messages. We look in the Old Testament, the Torah. And we find that after the correct belief, and
the worship of one God, that the very next most important thing is the relationship to the parents.
		

			Then we looked at the New Testament, we find the same thing that the greatest commandment is to
worship one God, and then our relationship with the people. And then when we come to the last and
final testament, which is the Koran, again, we find that the most important thing is that ilaha
illAllah, the worship of only one God, and no partners with him, and then the relationship of the
people with emphasis on the parents and the children.
		

			This particular one that's coming up here is very interesting, or some didn't say it says that the
Prophet sallallahu Sallam used to put me on one of his thighs, and he would put a son in an army.
This is Hasson even though he is the son of Ali, the grandson of the Prophet, peace be upon him on
the other thigh. And then he would embrace us. And he would say Allah, please be merciful to them,
as I am merciful to them. So this embracing of children is a form of mercy and Islam to teach them
love and compassion, intimacy and closeness that only comes between parents and their children or
grandparents and their children, the elders of the community, who, when they show this kind of
		

			affection for children, from the heart, and the children feel this, it helps them to build their
character in a way that they're very merciful with other people. I've found in traveling around the
world to different places, that when I observed that a community has people who are really taking
care of the children in this way, and being merciful with them, kind to them, understanding with
them, and being patient with them, that these children have a tendency to grow up and be very
healthy and balanced in their emotion in their character. So this is a form of building character of
the child is for the parents and the grandparents and other relatives, to do what, and that is to
		

			show this compassion to them and be merciful with him in this beautiful way. And I know that
sometimes, as I said, in other civilizations, other societies, you find people who will shun this
idea, they'll say, No, no, no, no, I don't, you don't need to touch me, I don't need to touch you.
It's not a touchy feely thing for me that actually, this is probably what most people need more than
anything. Probably when they were children. They didn't find something like this. And maybe that's
why they're resisting it now. But in any case, the thing we're showing here is that Islam is
teaching you a great way to build character amongst our children amongst our youth from the very
		

			early stages.
		

			Another point about this is that when these children are amongst people,
		

			Who are not Muslim or don't follow Islam, then they can observe the difference real fast between
what they grew up with and what they're observing here. Now, a lot of times when I meet people in
the States, they come over from various countries. And they're shocked when they find that the
treatment between the parents and children is so detached, and they say, How can people live like
this? How do people get by I mean, we've heard so many wonderful things about living in the West,
but we come over and we find such a detachment, and the relationship between the parents and the
children just seems so unnatural. How do you guys do this? And you know, it makes you think about
		

			it. It's true, if you see that a lot of times children are just can't wait, I want to get so old, I
want to grow up, I can't wait to grow up. Because when I get so old, I'm moving out, I'm getting my
own place. And I'm out of here.
		

			And this is definitely something that
		

			I think if you think about this in detail, you realize that there's a reason they're they don't want
to be with the parents. Why? Because parents haven't showed them any of this mercy. They haven't
embraced these children haven't shown them how to develop this part of their character, then what
happens when they get old? And this goes back to the story of the relationship between you and your
parents will be between you and your children? Because as they get older, then what will they do
with you, your children? What are they going to do with you? Because a lot of times in the West, we
find that the children say, Okay, that's enough, you know, you're old, we need to put you in a role
		

			folk song, and they don't care for them. But in Islam, this is not, it's not conceivable that you do
such thing when you plant. These are people that raised you up. These are the people that helped you
when you were helpless. And now when they reach a state of needing help, it's apparent that you're
the most logical one as a child to help your parents, how could you just put them out into an old
folks home and leave them, maybe you go by on every other Sunday, you take them out to the buffet or
to the cafeteria, and you say, Okay, guys, this is what you're going to get, and then take them back
and drop them off and leave them. How can we do such a thing as this?
		

			again, it goes back to not following the Scripture, the revelation, because it's come to the same
people the same way to people over and over in that. First is the worship of God alone, and then the
relationship with the parents and children. So we've been focusing a lot in this segment dealing
with this subject of the relationship here between God in His creation, which is us, and we have to
worship Him alone without partners. And then immediately after that is this mercy that we have for
these children? I have another Hadith that I'd like to mention to you, in winding this up. And that
is when the prophet SAW Islam said, Whoever raises up four daughters, and again, this was the
		

			encouragement not to be killing these, these newborn baby girls, you know, that he said, if a person
has four daughters and raises them up good in the worship of one god of a law, then this person and
Dave judgment will be able to jump over the, the Surat or the bridge between them and the paradise.
Oh, that's a great incentive, isn't it? To realize that if you raise up four daughters in a good
way, then you would be able to just jump over this bridge on the day of judgment and go to Paradise.
For me, this is this is a great incentive. But some of the companions of Mohammed they said, Well,
what about three, but some of them had three daughters. He said, and three. And then somebody asked,
		

			Well, what about two? And he said, and
		

			then when I shared this head ether teaching, with some of my friends back in the States, you know
what they said? What about one? I said, Well, I had to I didn't bother to memorize the rest of it.
		

			What happened in our home when we came into Islam, and we saw this beautiful teaching, it was at a
time when my children were really, really young. And they got this benefit from this teaching of
being merciful to children, of hugging them, kissing them being close to them. And I believe really,
that this helped them develop their character to bring them as they are today. And you know,
something, it doesn't matter. Even today. Now, if I would call home and say,
		

			Somali como esta walaikum salam, how's my little girl, and they're always gonna say, how's my daddy?
Even though these are grown ladies
		

			Now, and they're saying this, how is my daddy, and I'll ask them, who's the best daddy in the whole
world, you know what they say? prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And then after that you
		

			we gained a lot in this episode dealing with the relationship between the parents and the children.
And I believe in sha Allah, God willing, that if we'll take this and analyze, will realize that it's
a simple thing to do, takes a little bit of time, consideration and patience, but it pays off in the
long run. Because the whole goal here of this life is go to a better place in the next life. And
this is one of the steps to build that character to achieve that. And you're watching the way of the
Muslim developing the Muslim character. And we encourage you to stay tuned for more programs like
this and until next time salamati to Weber catch you