Yousuf Raza – Thoughts On Marrying Within Your Caste Only
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of culture in addressing issues of racism and other behavior. They suggest that cultural sicknesses and fears may be part of one's personal development and that individuals need to identify and overcome them. The speaker also emphasizes the need for individuals to grow out of their cultural
the same way they are able to grow out of relationships.
the same way they are able to grow out of relationships.
AI: Summary ©
Every 25-year-old lady, she's a doctor
by profession, and she's saying that she has
issues with respect to her proposal.
She says that she belongs to a particular
caste, right?
So, in our culture, we have a particular
caste system.
Certain castes consider themselves to be more special,
more, in terms of their lineage, superior, one
way or the other.
And so, particularly in decisions of marriage, this
plays an important role.
So, she wants to know that, is there
any religious backing of this caste system?
Is this religiously warranted?
And is it something sacred that you can't
get outside of your particular caste?
And is there anything like that?
See, and that's something that was common to
a lot of questions that I ignored, that
there's people asking the halal and the haram
of it, or forbidden, or allowed of it.
Is it religiously allowed, or is it religiously
not allowed?
I can't comment on that.
I don't have the requisite qualifications to be
giving any opinion on that, all right?
So, is it halal, is it haram?
Not my place to say.
But in this particular issue, I will issue
a psychological verdict.
I will give a psychological fatwa, if you
will, right?
Those who adhere to these understandings of superior
caste systems, that to belong to a particular
family or lineage makes you in any way
better than anyone else.
And not a lot of people will say
that as such, in these many words.
But what they will do is, when it
comes to issues of interacting, of engaging, getting
into relationships, getting married, then it is precisely
this attitude that will reflect in these situations
where they will say, no, we don't get
married out of our caste, we don't marry
into those people, or these people have looked
at their family, their background, and our family,
our background.
Utter garbage.
I don't care if it's religiously backed or
not.
I really don't.
It's a cultural pathology.
It is a cultural sickness.
And part of personal development, part of our
individual growth involves identifying these cultural sicknesses and
then rising above them.
Then being able to not be sucked into
them.
Taking a stand when it is necessary against
this racism.
And if there are people who are backing
this racist mentality, this superiority complex, up religiously,
through religious texts, or some sort of other
religious justifications, they are even more sick.
And all the more reason we need to
stand against this sickness.
Don't get me wrong here.
When in issues of marriage, and considering compatibility,
we look towards what is, who are closer
to our family, know our family values better,
know our family, you know, the entire culture
better, and we'll be able to get along
better.
That's understandable.
That's understandable.
But if it becomes an altogether exclusion criteria,
that outside of our particular family, the human
beings are almost in, like, they're inferior catter.
They're an inferior caste.
That's sick.
That's what I have issue with, serious issue
with.
And for us to grow as a culture,
as a society, we need to get rid
of this sick mentality.
We need to get out of this.
For us to grow individually, we need to
be able to identify other such cultural sicknesses
that are holding us back.
And this racism is part of that, right?
So we need to be able to grow
out of it.
We should be looking to grow out of
it as best as possible.
Again, each person's family situation is going to
be different.
Each person has to deal with an entire
different personality of a father or a mother
who adhere to these cultural practices like religion.
And they will not give you a lot
of breathing space if you're going against that.
So we have to take, everyone has to
take their own particular situations into consideration before
they go for what I'm saying.
I don't want you to start taking a
stand and get boycotted by your entire family
and then have trouble making ends meet or
you don't have a roof over your head.
So don't take drastic steps like that.
Maybe some of you can sustain them.
I don't know if you feel that's what
your calling is.
But you get the point.
This is, as far as I'm concerned, my
suggestion would be the more diverse you go
in terms of relationship, the more possibilities of
personal growth you're opening yourself up to.
It will be more challenging to relate with
a person who is culturally very different from
you.
But nevertheless, if you do open yourself to
that, then the growth opportunities that you give
to yourself are so much more.
Because that's what marriage does.
That's what these relationships do.
That you're relating with people who are not
like you.
And that's inspiring you to explore avenues of
your own personality that you were unaware of.
To be able to value that which is
you and not them.
You'll be able to understand your individuality better
and then to learn a whole lot more
from them.
To be more like them and then to
be more like yourself.
All of this becomes possible and this requires
more elaboration maybe at another point.
It becomes possible when we are branching out.
When we're diversifying.
When it comes to such relationships.
So I think, I hope that is able
to help.
Again, I'm not giving a religious verdict at
all.
I can't.
I'm not authorized to.
I can give you a psychological verdict and
that I already did.
This is sick and we need to run
away from such practices as best as possible.