Yasmin Mogahed – Where Is Your Place In Your Community

			I
		

			said armonico
		

			I would have allowed him in a shaitana regime. smilla rahmanir rahim wa Salatu was Salam ala
rasulillah Allah le Asahi, edge mine, rubbish, Ronnie sadri we are selling marijuana. Dr. Melissa
Hokulea.
		

			This is a topic that I, I've, I personally feel strongly about what my life kind of I actually
learned quite a bit a few years ago about this topic. I mean, I think growing up, we've always sort
of felt that
		

			there are some people who are different than us. But I think that, for me, became more personal.
Many years ago, when I met a friend of mine. At the time, I didn't know her but she was someone who
came up to me in the masjid. And she told me her story. And ever since I learned her story, I've
I've just been friends with her ever since. And it's just been something that's changed the way I've
seen a lot of parts of life really. And usually I like to share her story because her story is very
inspirational. But there's something I want to add about her story. And it's something that I hope
that we can, it's something that you and I can actually take home and implement. So what she told me
		

			that day when she met me was that she many years ago had a daughter. And when her daughter was I
think around three or so she stopped talking. So she grew up, she was born, able to speak and able
to do the things that you know, most children that age are able to do. But then what happened is
around the age of three, she stopped talking and her teachers didn't know why she told them, you
know, they told the parents, she took her to the doctor. And what she found out after some testing
is that her daughter had a rare genetic disorder called MPs. And the doctor informed this mother
that due to this disorder, her daughter would slowly lose her faculties. So she would lose her
		

			ability to do things for herself, her ability to walk, her ability, even to sit up, eventually lose
the ability to even swallow properly, her own saliva. And at this point, when this mother was
telling me this, she was telling me that because of the inability to swallow properly. And this is
something that just never even crossed my mind as one of the many lists of blessings that we should
be grateful for. But our ability to properly swallow our saliva, saliva keeps us from choking to
death. And we don't always realize this. I mean, how many times a minute do we swallow, but we don't
say Alhamdulillah. Like ever, I never even thought about it. But this just this one blessing that
		

			Allah has given us actually is keeping us alive, which is amazing. And she said that because of that
inability she has to suction so that they don't choke. But she said that after she had a little bit
later, she had a second daughter. And she started to they started to see some I think they may have
gotten tested when they were babies. And she found out that the second daughter also had the same
genetic disorder of MPs. And then she had a third daughter, and found out that her third daughter
also had MPs. So now my friend was telling me that she had three daughters with MPs. And she's being
told that this is what's going to happen to your daughter's there's no cure at this time. And you
		

			should, you know, you shouldn't really you shouldn't expect your daughter to live even past their
teenage years. And imagine a mother hearing this. And then she had a fourth child who with severe
autism. I've never met anyone with with that kind of obviously that kind of strength to be given
that kind of
		

			challenge and that kind of blessing all in one. And I'll explain how she then dealt with it and what
I learned from her. But what really struck me was a few points. And that is first. She was talking
about her life and in her conversation about her life. She said, quote, I'm drowning in gratitude.
And why that struck me so much is because
		

			we have
		

			we can't, I can't we can't wrap our minds around, something like that hearing something like that.
And yet we with our lives have trouble sometimes being thankful we have sometimes trouble being
grateful, although we have, you know what would be considered complete ease in comparison to what
she has and yet she was
		

			saying she was drowning in gratitude. What that she taught me is that
		

			ease and hardship aren't just about what you're given in life. But ease and hardship have to do with
the state of your heart, and the state and no one's relationship with Allah subhanaw taala and the
help that Allah gives. So the powerful lesson I learned from her life among many was that if Allah
helps you, then you can handle even the greatest storms. And not only can you handle them, but to be
able to be standing in that storm. And being grateful not only that you're surviving, but that
you're thriving. That absolutely amazed me. And to me, that was a sign of Allah subhanaw taala.
That, you know, as as there's a hikma that says, that, you know, there is nothing that is difficult,
		

			if you seek a through a law, and there's nothing that is easy if you seek it through yourself. That
reality was really shown to me by watching her life. But there's something else that I learned from
watching her and from throughout the years that I've learned from her. And that is the absolute in
the power of the community to either build these families or to completely cut them down. What I was
amazed to discover is there was another woman who was her neighbor at the time, who had gone through
a terrible tragedy, in which her she lost her son in a very painful way. And he died in a very
painful way through an accident when he was very young. And I was speaking to both of these women,
		

			these what I considered giants, and what they both told me and Subhanallah, I stood there, and I
listened to both of them tell me the same same thing, which is that despite everything that they had
gone through, and all of their challenges,
		

			their greatest pain came from the way the community ostracized them, their greatest pain, and that
blew me away. Their greatest pain came from the way the community treated them, and the way the
community sort of alienated and ostracize them. And I was just amazed, because that is something
that you and I can do. That's, that's such an easy test to pass. You see, everybody's given tests,
right? everyone agree, everybody is given tests. Some people have harder tests than others, but
everybody is tested. Now imagine that our test if we ourselves are not tested in that way. But our
test is to support those who are tested in that way. That means your test is easy, right. And for us
		

			to feel that test is something that I can, you know, that's I can't find an excuse for our only test
to be to give compassion and support me, you know, because this social support, psychologists have
found that it is absolutely invaluable, that the social support that that that that the effect of
social support to help families with with special needs children, it can't even be measured, and yet
the community failed in that test. And they did not only did they not support these families, but
they even shunned them at times did not include them and ostracize them from the community. So the
reason why I want to point that out, is that something everyone can do, regardless of your own
		

			personal situation, regardless of whether or not you yourself, have someone in your family who has
special needs. But what you can do is you can support those who do and then finally, I want to wrap
up with this, something also that just shocked me. When she found out about
		

			about her children. She shared with the story with me, she said that her husband was heartbroken.
And she was obviously also it was a very difficult news to hear. But what her husband said to her at
the time was, you know, in his, in his sadness, he said, I feel like I'm looking at three graves.
		

			And
		

			what, what she responded, it was something that I never forget and something actually her husband
would never forget. And even to this day, he you know, I went recently to a fundraiser that they had
put on for NPS awareness. And he stood up this was just recently a few months ago, he stood up and
he said, I learned from my wife. And what he said was that when I said that, she responded and said,
I see three doors to Jenna. And that's how she viewed it and Subhanallah that's so powerful, because
that's exactly right. Allah subhanaw taala has a path for each of us. And Allah gives us different
opportunities to reach him and everyone has a role to play.
		

			I'm saying this because everyone has a role to play. There is a role that she has to play. And
there's a role that we as a community have to play for these families. I ask Allah subhanaw taala to
make it easy for all those who struggle I asked Allah subhanaw taala to make us that, that one body
that she spoke about, where if one side of the body is in pain, the entire body responds
accordingly. Heather was stopped for a lolly welcome. innovaphone Rahim. subhanak Hello become Dec
eyeshadow en la ilaha illa Anta sakurako tooborac
		

			spinomenal Rahim him.
		

			So I got two questions.
		

			I'll do my best. One of them asks, What's the call to action? What can we do? And how can we make
sure that the families like this one you mentioned are more welcome.
		

			I'd like to know what it is that we may be doing knowingly or unknowingly that we should stop doing?
That's a great question.
		

			In each situation, it will be different. But what I would say is, there's two things that I would
suggest, one is reaching out personally to those families, individually to those families, and just
just reach out and just ask them because I can answer the question for them of what they need for
support, but just you reaching out will make a big difference to them. And just find out how it is
that you can support them. Sometimes it's just by by being there for the caretaker, sometimes it's
not like they need you to come take care of that. I mean, they're not going to
		

			they're not going to hire you to come take care of their child, but what they need is maybe someone
take care of the caretaker, because what oftentimes happens whenever there is someone in the family
who's either special needs or sick, is that all the
		

			the caretaker themself doesn't always take care of themselves, if that makes sense. And, and
sometimes the caretaker needs taken care of. And that's, that's a huge
		

			that's a huge, like action that you're taking to help support the one who's supporting the the one
with special needs. The other question is about
		

			ours special needs children adore to jednom example for the mother and father. Like for example, the
death of a child miscarriages, and actually, there's a specific or more than one specific ahaadeeth
about this case of a parent who loses the child and that there that child in one Heidi says that the
child waits at the door of Jennifer for the parent and and that there's a special door for for those
for those parents and their children to enter through Jenna, into Jenna. Oh, no, sorry, not a
special door. But a special house is made for them in general. And that's something that the reward
that's given to parents who have children who've passed away and of course, children with special
		

			needs is very, very high. And that was the reason why my friend, you know, that's why she she saw it
that way as three doors to Jenna. She recognized that this was a special path that Allah has Allah
subhanaw taala had chosen for her in order to enable her to get to Jenna and, and honestly, that's
exactly what it is any kind of challenge that we're given in life, and we respond to it properly it
becomes it can become an opportunity. And in the case of losing a child, there's specific mention
about that in the Hadith.