Yasmin Mogahed – Learn To Live Life In A Healthy and Holistic Way

			Now when talking about this, this, this idea of finding peace within the hardship, his entire entire
section about this, but I just want to talk about just a few points today about
		

			how we can change our view how we can change our lens, in terms of how we see the world around us
how we see our experiences, and then that changes our response. So I just want to basically leave
you with a few points. Okay, the first myth that we need to change. And I think one of the most
important things that we have to remember about this life generally, is that there is no such thing
as just hard times, there is no such thing as all bad. When you are going through a hardship, it is
never all bad. And this is one of the aspects one of the the, the part of the nature of dunya is
that it is never all bad. And it is never all good. Okay, so the first thing we have to understand
		

			about this life, and I can just tell you this from personal experience, you know, anyone who's read
Reclaim Your heart probably knows that, you know, chapter one, from the very beginning of the book,
I talked about how I was always sort of very idealistic, perfectionist, I expected everything to be
perfect. And so long as I went through my life, and I did this for a long time, way too long, that
that so long as I went through my life expecting everything to be perfect, expecting every, every
person around me to be perfect. I was constantly disappointed, I was constantly let down I was
constantly upset. Right? And, and the reason why that happened is because I had this very, very
		

			unrealistic expectation that things were supposed to be perfect. This the things were so had to be a
certain way. And when they weren't, I was I was devastated. It was very difficult for me to deal
with disappointment. And I think that the biggest mistake that I made was in my expectation. So I
thought that, you know, but but it has to be this way. And it was almost as though I had this subtle
sort of belief underlying all of it, that that I was already in Jenna, you know, like, almost as
though I was interacting with Julia in the way that Jenna is. And having that type of interaction or
expectation of this life will break your heart, it will destroy you internally, you will never find
		

			peace, because you're expecting something that is in perfect by its very nature to be perfect. Jenna
is perfect. Dunya is not now part of that understanding that this life is not perfect. It actually
works both ways. So the same way that this life is not perfectly good. It is also not perfectly bad,
either. And this is another concept I really, you know, I really discussed deeply in the class
transformed, I also touched upon it in Reclaim Your heart is that once I changed that mentality once
I changed that understanding, and I recognize that this life is not perfect, good. And it is not
perfectly bad either. So what that means is that while you are going through your hardest time, I
		

			just got a message recently, one sister told me she's just gone through a devastating divorce, you
know, she feels broken. And she's asking, How do I get through it? You know, do you have any advice.
And this is this is so many people can relate to this, when you go through a very, very difficult
time. Maybe you're in it right now. But while you're in that time,
		

			to be able to recognize that it is not all black, that it is not all dark that it is not all bad,
even in your hardest time. And that takes a different lens and a different understanding. Because
		

			it's very easy for us. And I think this is part of like the way the brain is almost wired is that we
tend to focus on the negative things in our lives, we tend to focus on what our brain considers
		

			a danger or some sort of threat, right? So whenever we have a fear, for example, our tendency is to
focus on the fear and to exaggerate the fear through that focus. So this is another principle that
you should always remember and that is that whatever you focus on will grow
		

			So in this case, if we focus on the fear or we focus on the,
		

			what is upsetting us, or what we've lost, or what we what's hurting us, maybe if we focus on what's
hurt us in the bat in the past, or what we've lost in the past, that that particular pain actually
starts to become exaggerated in our own mind and in our hearts. So focus is essential expectation is
essential. As soon as you realize that this life isn't perfect, you start to become more realistic
in your expectations and then you start to be able to respond to things in a better, more sort of
holistic and healthy way.