Yasmin Mogahed – Learn To Enjoy True Love Without Desperation

			Just want to make sure that we are actually live and now on Facebook and on YouTube, and everywhere,
where we are streaming our other Institute's webinar with steadiest mean Mujahid, I don't see any
comments or chats yet. So I'm just going to have a quick look to make sure that you guys can all see
us and hear us in sha Allah. And just bear with us as we kick off again. I know we had a couple of
technical difficulties and I think we might not be pushing where we need to be just right now but
let's have a quick look. To see if everything is good to go in sha Allah. Is that as mean as one got
folks? Oh, yeah, we got a couple of folks we got hung up people. If you've sent hamdulillah let us
		

			know where you're coming in from those of you who are in the session right now. I see we have a lot
of friends coming in on Facebook. Let us know which page are coming in from what part of the world
what time it is inshallah we're super excited. Technology is always a little bit of a test but I'm
humble Allah Patience pays off and we are back with another USB mage I had to kick off today's
session on learning how to enjoy true love. Without desperate without desperation and unhealthy
attachments. Insha Allah amazing. I see a lot of people coming through. We see shock coming in from
Bangladesh. We have humera we have Ashley, we have wasabi sabe. We have salvia, we have Halima
		

			coming in from Mauritius. So many of you guys will see like coming in from to Cape Town, South
Africa. Man we're coming in from the UAE keep dropping where you're coming in from and insha Allah
how if you're excited for this session with the soleus mean, as we kick off for the topic, this is
one of the sessions closing off a really exciting webinar series that we've been doing for the past
several weeks that's just about ending. And along with it we're actually closing the flagship course
that Sally has been has with Mr. Graham Institute transformed the principles of spiritual
development
		

			with a Maghrib online checkout if you have not already the doors are closing very soon head over to
Mr. Dot online to check that out. And of course, inshallah benefits from the full course that's
inspired some of these beautiful gems and beautiful sessions that we are learning from from today.
So I noticed that you've been waiting patiently for more than an hour at this point. I think we can
attach all that time together cubed Aliy cumulatively Alhamdulillah. Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah
How are you sir?
		

			While it comes to light you better care to I am all right. How are you? Al Hamdulillah Well, I'm
happy now that we're live and we have all these lovely people mashallah who've waited for us and who
have joined us again, does that feel a fair to all of you guys make this second try worth it? Good
luck. Let's just make sure we pick quick die that nothing goes wrong. Technically, inshallah and
let's jump right into it for today's topic is that I'm going to pass it to you this documentary.
Thank you very much. And I'm on a comb everyone. I apologize for the the technical issues and it
happened to the lead is like located on for your, for your patience. I was able to go live on
		

			Instagram. So now I'm just going to redo it. It just didn't work simultaneously so Bismillah I will
be live in a shaytani R rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim, WA Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah wide LM
Sophia Germain rubbish Rouhani Saudi westerly, Omri, Wahid, octus, Emily Sandy of a whole colony. As
you're coming in and letting us know where you're coming in from, I just want to jump in and talk a
little bit about this very, very important topic. So how to love in a healthy way, without
desperation, unhealthy attachments. This is I think, something that everyone can relate to, if this
is something that's relevant to everyone, this is a topic I go in depth into in this class. So
		

			transform does have some mentioned, this is a class that I actually used to teach on site. It's a
weekend, full weekend seminar, in which I take up different principles of spiritual development,
psychological, emotional, and then just kind of bring it all together, of how we can take these
concepts and make them practical. So in this class, I have four modules. The first module is about
the nature of love. I talk in depth about where you know, what's the source of love? What is the
difference between Healthy Love and unhealthy love? The second module is about the the heart, the
nature of the heart, what is the what is it? why has Allah subhanaw taala made the heart what is the
		

			purpose? What is the function? And then what happens when things go wrong within the heart? How does
that affect our lives? How does that affect our relationships? How can we protect the heart? How can
we purify the heart The heart is actually as we're told by the prophets, I send them it's the master
of the body. So I talk a lot about an entire module just about the heart taking care of the heart,
and what is the nature of the heart that Allah subhanaw taala has created and what happens when we
miss use this, this creation of a lost part of that what happens we don't take care of the heart,
and then the detrimental and toxic effects on our lives and on our relationships.
		

			And then I have a module about hardships and pain. How do we understand our hardships? How do we
navigate through our pain? And then how do we grow through it? And then finally, the fourth module
is about our relationship with the Creator, and our relationship with the creation. This is about
how do we tie everything together? How do we bring in all of these concepts that we that we are
taught in the Quran and the Sunnah, by our teachers by our by our shoe? How do we bring it all
together? I think my mom just logged in while it's and I'm like, Oh, mama. So how do we how do we
tie that all in? And how do we then apply it in an in a practical way? Right? So we learn these
		

			concepts about love. We learn these concepts about taqwa, about telework code, but then how does
that actually play out in our real life and in our real life relationships. So one of the topics I
cover in this class, is the idea of Healthy Love versus unhealthy attachments. What happens when you
take something and you love it in a way that you should only love Allah subhanaw taala, or you put
it in a place in the heart, in a in a very, in the very core of the heart, in a place that is saved?
For Allah subhanaw taala? What does that do to the human being? What does that do to the human
heart? And then what does that do in your life into your relationships? Now, I'm just going to kind
		

			of give you just one snapshot of something that I cover in this class, in this section. And this is
something that a lot of the students who have taken this class in the past have found to be really,
especially eye opening. And that is that I asked everyone to to introspect to look inward and to
answer a few questions. One of the questions and I'll just give you one of the questions that I
asked, and then I give five or six other questions, but what these questions are designed to do, is
they are designed to hone in on to, to really like, almost provide like a, an x ray into the heart,
a magnifying glass to find out what's filling our hearts. What is it that when we look internally?
		

			What is that at the core of our hearts? So I asked a series of questions, and I asked people to sort
of reflect on these questions, but I'm just going to give you one of these questions here. And that
is, what do you think about all day? What do you think about most? What do you think about before
you sleep? What keeps you up at night? What do you think about most? In your prayers? Perhaps? Now
looking at this question, it seems like a very simple question, but it's very deep, because the
answer to this question gives us a window into what's filling our hearts. And the reason for that is
there's an intimate relationship between the mind and the heart. So whatever fills our mind is
		

			related to what is filling our heart. And vice versa. When there's something filling our hearts, it
will fill our minds, it will fill our thoughts, it will consume us. And so you find that if you're
because this is one of the biggest questions that people ask, right, like, how do I know if I have
an unhealthy attachment? How do I know that you know that I'm not loving in a healthy way, or that
I'm too dependent on something. And by the way, we can have unhealthy attachments to any of the
creation, we can have an unhealthy attachment to our own child, we can have an unhealthy attachment
to our spouse, to a parent, to our job to our careers to money, we can have an unhealthy attachment
		

			to anything of the creation. So when we do and this question of how do I know? Well, one of the ways
you're going to know is it's going to hurt a lot, it's going to cause a lot of pain, it's going to
cause a lot of conflict, both internally and externally. And that is because you've put as I as I,
as I explained in the class, you've put orange juice in it in a gas tank. So it's like a person
taking a car to the gas station. And instead of putting gas or petrol, or whatever you call it, you
actually put orange juice, you're gonna destroy that car. And that's what happens to the human
heart. When you take the core of the heart and you fill it with something other than God, you're
		

			putting orange juice in a gas tank. And so what it does is whatever that thing is, if it's a family
member, if it's your job, if it's your career, if it's money, if you put it in the core of your
heart, it's going to break your heart, it's going to hurt. And so one of the the techniques that I
use in the class to ascertain what is there is by asking people to reflect and one of the questions
I ask them to reflect on is what do you think about most, because that is going to give you a window
into what's at the core of your heart. And this is a really important question to answer, because
whatever. Now this is, this is essential that we understand this
		

			Do whatever is at the core of your heart becomes your master. So we, in other words, become slaves
to whatever we love most. Whatever you put at the core of your heart, you become a slave to that.
And that's why there are many people out there who are slaves to money, or slaves to power, there's
so there's so they're so determined on getting more power or more money, that they actually become
slaves to these things. But there is a less sort of, there's, there's a less
		

			pro properly understood type of attachment that that many of us have. And some of us are actually
encouraged to have, and especially in certain cultures, there's a there's a type of attachment, that
is very unhealthy, and yet it is encouraged. And that is the attachment to our children. One of the
things that that I found to be sort of an underlying issue across many cultures, is the way in which
we teach our in way in which we teach our women and our men, especially our women, about how to
interact or, or what type of relationship to have with your child, you know, there is this idea,
it's sort of a common cultural understanding is that in order to be a good mother, for example, in
		

			order to be a loving mother, you need to take your child and put your child at the center of your
universe. And now what you do is instead of sort of revolving your life and your existence, around
your true Center, which should be God, which should be Allah subhanaw taala, instead, you take your
child, and you put your child at the center, and then you do tawaf around your child. Now, this
process of doing tawaf around your own child, is extremely toxic. So this is one of the examples I
go in depth into. In the class. It's a practical example of how these spiritual concepts play out in
real life. And the toxic, poisonous type of, of consequence, really, to having these, you know, not
		

			understanding these spiritual principles. So this is an example. And then you'll see, you know, that
this relationship when the relationship between the mother, for example, and the son is not healthy,
when culturally and societally you're being told that you need to almost worship your child, right,
your child is the center of your life, you give up everything you know, you, you don't even focus on
your own marriage anymore, because everything's about the child, a lot of people, there is no
relationship with the husband and the wife, because everything is about the children, right? It's
all about the children. So in a sense that the husband and the wife are no longer husband and wife,
		

			their mother and father, and the only relationship they have is that they together, hold hands and
do tawaf around the child together. And that's very unhealthy. But unfortunately, it's very common.
And so I talk about this, this, among other many examples, practical examples of how, how an
unhealthy type of, of attachment in the spiritual realm plays out and has very toxic consequences in
the psychological, emotional and relationship realm. So you find that now the dynamic between the
mother and the child or the mother and the sons, typically is very unhealthy. And now the Son
himself grows up. And now he is not, he does not necessarily have a healthy upbringing himself,
		

			because now his relationship with the mother is not is not as it shouldn't be. It's not balanced. So
some might call that a mama's boy or even a narcissist. Because, because because his mother used to
revolve her existence around him, he may expect that that's what others should do as well. And this
isn't healthy, right? It doesn't become healthy in his marriage. Now, when when that son gets
married, now you have conflict often between his wife and his mother. Now this conflict really
shouldn't be there. There shouldn't be a competition. But the reason for it is actually going back
2025 30 years to the type of attachment and relationship there was since he was a child. So these
		

			are the types of
		

			Have you no practical examples that we talk about in the class, this is just one example. But this
is something that is very real. And we talk about how we can start to have healthy relationships,
how we can start to give and, and receive love, from a place a fullness, and not from a place of
emptiness and desperation that is born out of unhealthy attachments. So, in sha Allah, I hope that
that I can see many of you in the live q&a is I have all of this content available for people who
sign up, it's it's lifetime access, you can you can, you can access this this information at your
own pace. Although it's all of the content that I would do in a full full time weekend seminar, but
		

			now you have access to it globally and at your own pace, and you have lifetime access. But on top of
that, people who register for this class, get exclusive, on line, live q&a, so you can you can
interact with the information, and then you can come back and you can ask your questions in the live
q&a. And I do four of these at one hour each. So it's a lot of time that I get to interact with the
students Inshallah, so I hope to see you there does that can be located on again, the link is in the
chat box, and it's also on my Facebook and Instagram, I hope that you can sign up because it is
closing in just a few days until ledges like Malachite on was Santa Monica, Allah, He will get one
		

			from the cinema off the line, we're gonna get to Saturday, just knock them off here. For those kind
of hard truths. Sometimes it's hard to hear, I'm sure for many parents that you're doing the walk
around your child, a lot of people are doing very, very genuine, you know, actions for the sake of
pleasing a lot, but harming their relationship with Allah and with that with the people in their
lives that they're trying to please the same time. So this course allows us to navigate that and to
sort out those difficult relationships, those difficult feelings that we've been experiencing,
without having the right the right guidance and the right approach. So I'm super excited for it
		

			really quickly. Before we leave in sha Allah, I want to show you guys something that will inshallah
hopefully answer a lot of the questions I know, we keep getting in the chats and our private
messages about what this transformed experience is going to look like what is the portal going to
look like? How are you going to be able to benefit and access everything, and I want to tell you
guys, it's actually one of the easiest things inshallah that you can do. So really quickly, I'm
going to share my screen and give you guys just a really quick sneak peek into what actually happens
when you register for the transformed online class with this obvious mean, which I hope you guys can
		

			see the link once again in the description and on your screen. But let me just show you guys what
you'll look at. So as soon as you register for the class, you'll have access to everything. So that
means all the modules we have for lengthy modules that are broken down into easy to absorb bite
sized lessons. So you can see the introduction video is already there. And then we have module one,
the introduction to love, you have multiple lessons navigating that topic module two, as I already
mentioned, as well as the introduction to the heart, we have a module number three hardships and
pain, again, 11 lessons in that module. And then finally, we have module number four, a lot and his
		

			creation. And one thing that we don't get to do, which we wish we could in these sessions that we
have with you guys live here on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, etc, is that we don't get to have
proper q&a But alhamdulillah as Sandy mentioned, as well, we will have four q&a sessions with her
during the transformed experience you get a chance to actually bring in your personal struggles,
your personal experiences and get clarity from the principles of the course and from the experience
of SATA has had over a decade of this work mashallah the sessions will be in your own time zone. So
ignore the time that you see here everything is converted into your local time. So inshallah you'll
		

			be able to find them if they're going to be 5pm ESD. And there's a lot more detail about that when
you go to transformed online, through among them to online you'll also have a course binder, extra
resources, a DA booklet, inshallah and vicar challenge and the US so inshallah you'll have Allah to
keep yourself busy, but it's very easy. Soon as you register for the class, you'll have access to
everything and you'll be able to prepare yourself for the live q&a. So I want to make sure that you
don't miss out have any questions, you're welcome to send us a quick message. I'll come to online,
and inshallah we look forward to seeing you on the other side with this Sunday as mean, and we love
		

			your family and each other insha Allah as we navigate, transformed the principles of spiritual
development with the SE Majapahit does that clicker for joining us for today's webinar, the course
is closing very very soon. So please make sure that you hit that button, you click the link in the
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handler that guys are here and that you have access to this experience. For now. Take care yourself,
stay safe, stay happy, stay healthy. We will see you in sha Allah for one last webinar as we close
		

			off transformed online. But we it's very exciting to have you here and to have a southern mashallah
present today's topic, and we'll see you very soon for now As salam o alaikum.