The speakers discuss the importance of good family, including the rights of the husband and wife, parents, and children. They emphasize the importance of strong political stance and praying regularly to build faith and respect in one's own life. The speakers also advise parents to be models and not a blame game, and stress the importance of regular prayer at home and setting boundaries for their children. They stress the need to treat children properly and create a good environment for their growth.
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In Alhamdulillah nahezu Monastery no one has told Pharaoh when I will do Billahi min surely and
fusina women say RTR Medina, Mayor de la dama de la la, la la, la la
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la la la la sharika wash under Mohammed an avocado pseudo. Yeah you have Latina aminata por la
parte. Mo tune in to Muslim moon. Yeah Johan de su tipo de como la de la FC wahida wahala caminhada
wahba Semyon humare Jilin, Kathy Romani saw what tabula rasa aluna be he will or ham in no la la
cumbre Kiba yeah you Hello Tina, taco La la la, la, la, la La, La
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La La La What are Sula who fucka defies 1000 alima abide by the brothers and sisters in Islam. In
last week's course. We talked about the importance of a good family and we talked about the rights
of the husband and wife and in today's hold about inshallah tada we will continue the same theme and
talk about the importance of parents and some of the Islamic principles and tips that we as parents
need to know when we deal with our children. We all know my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, that
children are of the greatest blessings of life. Allah subhana wa tada tells us in the Quran, Allah,
Luna z natural hayata dunya money and children that's what makes life beautiful for us. And Madhava
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Luna z natural higher to dunya what makes life worth living even for those who don't believe in a
god? For us of course we have the Hara. But even for those who don't have any Eamon what makes life
sweet.
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And no one mentioned this as a blessing for us as a blessing that He has given us. Allah says in the
Quran, there can be a word in words. Allah is the one who has given you, he has aided you, he has
helped you he has blessed you with money and with children. And that is why having children This is
a natural desire in every human being. It's ingrained in us. Allah says in the Quran, z nurse
chahatein Anissa, he will burn in. It is pleasing to men. It is alluring to men that they desire
women and they desire children, every single person and of course the eye is directed to men that
they weren't women. And of course women as well what husbands women as well, they have the same
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desire, they want a loving spouse, they want a healthy relationship, and they want children as well.
And in the Quran, we have so many stories of those who did not have children and they want to have
children so much so that they will even adopt in order to have a child the famous story of
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disease in the Quran use of the story of use of and the family that adopts him, they did not have a
child, what does the wife say. And in fact, the exact same phrase that this woman says another woman
also says in the Quran, and that is the wife of Freetown, Sierra Leone. And as these two different
people in two different time places, they both did not have children. And when their wives
discovered this child when when Asya the wife said I would seize this child. And when the wife of
Aziz, when Aziz brings home Yusuf they both say the exact same thing. As a foreigner, I wanted to
have this child, hopefully he will benefit us, and we will adopt him as a son, we will take him as a
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son, you see children, they are parents, excuse me, they want children that when they grow older,
these children will benefit them, that when they grow older, somebody will take care of them. They
should parents, they have it inside of them to see their children flourish, to see their children
grow. It is an amazing psychological reality that no human being on the face of this earth wants to
see another human better than him. Except for the father when it comes to his son or the mother when
it comes to her daughter. You don't want to see your cousin richer than you or your uncle smarter
than you even if you accept it grudgingly. But you don't you're not happy to see another person
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richer than you. You're not supposed to see another person with a better job than you. You will
accept it as a reality of life. Okay, so there are people that are above there are people that are
below, but the only time that you will feel happy that someone is better than you is your own son or
daughter. You will genuinely feel proud. That's my boy. That's my daughter. He's done this he's done
that no jealousy at all. 100% support. And this is an amazing psychological reality that Allah
subhana wa tada
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Created in every one of us. And that is why, as I said, it's a natural desire to have children.
Ibrahim alayhis salam, he doesn't have a son or child, he makes the right to Allah. So Allah sends
him an angel to tell him Yes, you're gonna have a child, you and solder will have a child. And after
this child, you'll even have a grandchild and Zachary and he said, He's making dua to Allah, that
beautiful, that poetic, that the
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shaman
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cannot be sharqiya next door to Allah in a language that is so beautiful, we cannot even translate
into English, but he makes that he wants to childhood if you need to mean
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that I want a child that you inherit from me that you'll carry my progeny on. And therefore it is
indeed a sign of mercy from Allah subhana wa tada that he has allowed us to have children, and that
we take care of these children and taking care of children as well is a human emotion. It transcends
religion and culture, Muslim and Catholic. We all love our children, the famous story of the veteran
who came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And he saw the Prophet system kissing Hassan and
Hussein playing with them, throwing them up in the air, and this is his grandson, this is his
grandson, he can you imagine what he would have done with his own children, we don't have any
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stories of how he raised Fawlty men, and amico when they were babies because this was pre Islam. But
we have stories of Hassan and Hussein that he would kiss them and he will play with them. And he
would allow them to come on his back when he was in such the the most, the most humble and the most
religious position. But when Hasson is on his back, crawling, he allows his son to play even if this
is kind of interfering with saw that, that that love that He has for his grandson, it allows him to
remain and says the longer so that has said is not hard when he stands up. So he's playing with his
grandchildren, and he kisses them. And this better one, he is amazed. He's astonished. And he says,
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Do you kiss your children? Because in their culture, it was considered unmanly to show this love. It
was considered a sign of weakness to show love to your children? Do you kiss your child like this?
By Allah, I have 10 children, and I've never once kissed one of them. He's trying to boast that he
is so manly. He's so much Oh, that he has never kissed any of his children. And the powerful system,
even though he was the gentle metal in Iranian and he had the height of other. When he saw such
callousness, he could not help but give a callous response back. Because sometimes you have to be
harsh, and sometimes you have to be strict. This man is boasting that he is not merciful to his
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children. And he's swearing.
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And he's using a last name to feel a sense of pride that I'm so detached from my kids. And what did
the Prophet says to them say? Oh, I'm lick. Do I have any control over your attitude? And under
Allahu taala meta mill, pelvic? Allahu Allah. Allah, that Allah subhana wa tada has snatched away
from your heart? Is it my fault that you have no amount that you're boasting that you don't kiss
your own children? And this is a harsh response. This is a verbal slap on the face to this man. But
sometimes harshness requires harshness, and this boasted require a third response back to it that
are you boasting that you've never kissed your children, and then you expect me to sympathize or
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have mercy. It's not my fault. He said that our law has strict your heart of any mercy. And this
clearly shows us brothers and sisters, that in our religion, to have a loving attitude towards your
children, this is a sign that Allah subhana wa tada has blessed you. It's a sign that you have a
hammer in your heart, as we said last week, that it is not the sign of a man to mistreat his woman.
Now we say in this whole book, it is not the sign of a man or a woman. It is not the sign of a
loving parent to mistreat their own children to be harsh to always be strict on their children. And
indeed, as Allah subhanho wa Taala has blessed us with children with every blessing comes
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responsibilities. With every blessing comes responsibilities. There is no blessing that comes with
no strings attached. Children are the one of the biggest blessings of life. In fact, they are really
what makes life worth living for everyone amongst us who does not even as we said, even without
people without any religion, children will make their life worth living. How about us, we'll have a
man of course, children make our life much better living. So with that blessing comes
responsibility. And the primary responsibility that Muslim parents have is to raise their children
to be righteous Muslims to be good Muslims, Allah subhana wa tada says in the Quran, yeah, you know,
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and full circle. Lee come narrow. Oh, you will believe it is your responsibility to protect
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yourselves and your families from the punishment of Allah subhana wa tada
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and our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said
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Odin, Android, the Android yet he fell.
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Every one of you is a shepherd, and you're responsible for your flock. And number one, he said, the
father is responsible for his flock. And then the mother is also responsible for her flock, the
father and the mother. He mentioned the both of them in this heavy, they are both responsible for
their flock and the flock is but one because the children are the same. both mother and father are
responsible for the same flock, they're responsible for the same set of sheep of your life. And both
of them will be asked by Allah subhana wa tada about how they dealt with their flock with their
responsibility. And therefore in today's short haul, I wanted to remind myself and some of you have
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some practical advice about tarbiyah about raising children. And today's whole debate is primarily
directed at the parents, like last quarter was directed at the spouses, and there still remains
another hot button that should be directed at the youth that is a separate topic and a separate list
if you'd like in a separate methodology to talk to them. That's a separate issue. Today is hope. But
the emphasis is on the parents. Those who are parents pay heed those who are not yet parents pay
extra heed, because every one of us Allah subhana wa Taala, blesses and tests and tries through the
issue of children. The first advice to myself in all of you, and really the most important advice,
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the best way to raise one's children is to be a role model yourself in their lives. If you yourself
are not of good character, there is no way that your children will have a good character after you.
And this is the ultimate reality. Brothers and sisters were lucky the media is to blame a lot.
Television is to blame a lot internet is to blame a lot, society is to blame a lot. But the number
one blame for a disrupted family. The number one blame for a broken family is the parents
themselves. This is the number one blame. And so before any of us and I speak to myself, before I
speak to any of you, before any of us is ready to point our finger anywhere else, be prepared to
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take a solid look in the mirror. Because the number one guilty report in any Brooklyn family, in any
broken relationship is the person you're looking at in the mirror. If you have not been a role model
to your son or daughter, if you have not lived up to the ideals that you should live up to, then how
can you blame your own child for failing to live up to those responsibilities. And there are two
elements here by the way, when it comes to being a role model. There are two elements here there's a
worldly element and there's a religious element. There's a Dini and there's a there's a
psychological and there's also a spiritual when it comes to psychological when it comes to the
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worldly element. There is the simple common sense here. Kamata Dino to Dan as you do, it shall be
done unto you. It's not a coincidence, brothers and sisters, there are 1000s of surveys done. It's
not a coincidence that children who grow up with parents who are smoking are much more predisposed.
predisposed to smoking is that children who grow up in abusive households abusive relationships,
when the husband is beating the wife that these children will also be their spouses when they grew
up. It's not something that takes rocket science, as you do in your family, your children will do
when they grow up. This is the reality. This is the fact of science of psychology. And it doesn't
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take rocket science, and the fact of the matter and I go back to last week's hold about this, if
you're miss you miss treating your wife if you're abusing your wife, or you're going to blame your
son when he grows up, and he also then starts abusing his wife. If all you do is scream and shout at
your wife, ask yourself, do you want your doctor to have a husband like you ask yourself this? Do
you want your doctor to be treated the way you treat your own wife, the mother of your daughter. So
relationships begin in the house relationships begin with oneself as you do unto others, your child
will learn to do unto others. And this is what he the fact that scientists, psychologists, everyone
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can tell you, and it doesn't take a genius to figure this out. So the first way to have good
children is to be a good man or a good woman yourself. The first one to have children that are
polite children that are respectful is to be polite and respectful in your own life to others. And I
have seen with my own eyes, brothers and sisters and I am now of middle age. I have grown up here.
I'm of that generation that is of the first generation to immigrant parents here in America. And I
have seen plenty of horror stories and plenty of good stories of the children of my generation that
are now young adults that are now reaching their maturities and crimes. I have seen with my own
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eyes, brothers and sisters that every time
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Husband and wife a couple had good Islamic values in their life. The child eventually returns to
Islam. Even Surely, yes, I have seen sometimes children go away, especially in the teenage years,
especially in the young 20s. But if the husband and wife raised them with an atmosphere of love with
an atmosphere of Islam, then when the child comes of age, when the child becomes 25, or 30, becomes
a married adult, automatically, they revert back to the only memory they have of living like a
family, and that's the memory of their parents. And I have seen with my own eyes, so many of my
friends, go through rebellious teenagers go through a lot of evil dating womanizing, drugs, alcohol,
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then they go into young men and women, they get married, they start their careers, and all of a
sudden, they turn over a new leaf.
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And why is this the case? Because when they are blessed with children, when these children have
children of their own, as young men and women, and they realize, you know what, I can't afford to
let my son or daughter go, they have to change their own lives around and how do they change it
around, as I said, to the one memory that they have, the One World model that they grew up with, and
that is their parents. And I have yet to see one example of a young man or woman who has grown up in
a religious environment who permanently relieves that religious environment, I have yet to see one
example in my own extended relatives and family and extended acquaintances that I knew growing up,
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this is the reality that I have experienced. And of course, there might be one or two exceptions,
but the general rule of thumb as the family is, so to when this child grows up, he will replicate
that family in his own family. And so you want to have children, start with yourself, start with
your own relationship with your spouse, this is the human level, there is a spiritual level as well.
And the spiritual level I've spoken about it here on this number many times and the best example of
this is the story of credit. And the young boy that he killed. Why did Allah subhana wa Tada, spear
those two parents from this boy, why didn't Why give them another boy, that was better for them.
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Allah says in the Quran.
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The other way is Saudi hain, the parents were righteous. The two mother and father, the mother and
father were good people they were,
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they were believers in Allah Subhana Allah to Allah. So Allah did not want to test them with a
rebellious with an evil child, a lot wanted to give them a good child, a respectful child. And so
Allah Subhana, Allah blessed them with another child, that would be good to them, that would be
righteous, because they were righteous. Allah gave them righteous children. So you want to have good
children, you have to start with yourself. You have to start at home, you have to start with your
relationship with your spouse, this is number one. And this is something that religion tells us
science tells us psychology tells us every single doctor, every single person who knows anything
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about sociology, humanities will tell us this is the way of the world camera to do to that, as you
do unto others, it shall be done unto you. The second advice to myself and all of you, a Salah, a
Salah Asana, this cannot be overemphasized. We need to make sure that our children grow up praying
on time. Why not just because Salah is important in our religion. Of course, that is a big issue
which we can get into. But we don't have time for this. Now, just because our Prophet says that I'm
said
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that make sure your children are praying at the age of seven, and then force them to do so at the
age of 10. Not just because we're required to do so not just because Allah says in the Quran,
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command your family to pray and be persistent in that command. Not just because of all of this Nope.
There was also a selfish reason that every one of us should want our children to pray
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with our children pray that God, we are teaching them that there is an authority higher even than
their parents. There is an authority that must be obeyed even more important than the authority of
the parents. And you see brothers and sisters, the one real authority to keep children in check when
it comes to their parents is not the parents themselves. This is circular logic. You can't, the
parent cannot force the child to respect the parent simply because it's a parent. This is circular
logic. You have to go to a higher authority. And that authority is only Allah subhanho wa Taala. So
when your child knows there is a law and the law is watching me and I believe in a law when your
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child is praying regularly when your child has that relationship with the law and then he learns
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Allah has told me to be good to my parents, I will preface this someone said my mother, then my
mother, then my mother, my father, our proper system has said that gender is underneath the feet of
the mother. Now he learns the Quran and Sunnah it has an impact on him. Why? Because you have taught
him to believe in Allah subhanho wa Taala, you have made him a good Muslim, you've given him those
values. He knows who is his low, he's preying on time. And now when his Lord tells him be good to
your parents, he will listen to his look, because this is not circular logic. The mother cannot say
the good mother, this is circular, right? This is going back to her. The father cannot say you have
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to expect me I'm your father. These are gonna fall on flat years. And by the time the kid is a
teenager, Colossi won't care anymore. But when the child believes in Allah subhanho wa Taala, when
the child is a regular praying five times a day, and he knows who is his Lord, now you tell him now
he learns now he's yours in the hotel, but now he understands. It is not my mother and father
telling me to respect them. It is the creator of my mother and father, it is my career, it is my
profit, it is my book that is telling me this. Now all of a sudden, the whole paradigm shifts, the
whole reality shifts, and therefore brothers and sisters, Salah is of the utmost important element
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to make sure that your children are respectful are good. And of course, there's a whole other set of
issues with sign up in terms of routine in terms of punctuality, in terms of responsibility, in
terms of habits, all of this we can talk about in a different order. But the person who prays
regularly, all types of blessings open up including the blessings of having good children. And this
again goes back to my first point, if you're not praying five times a day, how do you expect your
child to be praying five times a day? If you're not living the life of the Muslim? How do you expect
your child to do this as well and realize in the advice of local man at his salon, that famous
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advice of local man, which is the most comprehensive passage in the Koran, about parent and child
relationships and parent and child advice and perhaps in one hold but that's another hope that to be
done the advice of Look man, what does look man say to his son of the first things that he tells his
son when a famous sila My dear son, make sure you pray regularly establish to prayer on time. This
is in the top three pieces of advice he gives believe in a word worship Allah
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right in the top of the page. Yeah, buena aqui Miss Sala, all my son make sure you're doing your
Sunnah. And therefore brothers and sisters, the second piece of advice to myself and all of you the
sala de sala de Sala. If you're not praying, make sure you start praying and then have your family
pray as well. The third piece of advice
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make to offer your children regularly, sincerely make to Africa children. Let me ask you and ask
yourselves this. When was the last time you raised your hands up to a law and asked a lot to make
sure your children are good. ask Allah to guide your children. ask Allah to protect your children
from the evils of society will love your brothers and sisters ask yourself this, if you're not
asking a law for it? Why do you think you're gonna get it? How do you think you're gonna get it? If
you're not asking a lot for good children? If you're not asking a lot to protect your children,
frankly, what is your love for your children? Well, one of the most important hours you should
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always be making
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tells you to make this to
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the outlet tells you in the Quran
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that Allah bless us with good wives and good children, those that give us coolness of the eye, ie
they make our lives easy. They don't make our lives difficult. Man as well. You know what the
reality now our union, this should be our regular da. And our Prophet says Adam said that the of the
father for his son. And the meaning here is the mother for his army and the child, the parent for
the child, the doula that the parent has for the child. Allah never rejects that too. I always
accepts it. So Pamela, one of the most acceptable draws one of the most highest chances of being
accepted that you are of the parent for the child. When was the last time you made? How often do you
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make draw for your children? From now on? Almost every drop that you raise your hands up to Allah,
include something about your children, make sure you ask Allah, Allah Allah protect my children from
this environment, protect my children from the evils overlap, make them good Muslims or Allah guide
them and guide others through them, make them to act from the heart. And you know what, once again
those religious and psychological religiously, are what will bless them psychologically, when you're
asking a lot. Then when you see an opportunity to protect your children from evil, you will do it
when you see an opportunity to help your children religiously, you will because it's on your mind
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all the time.
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If you don't even ask Allah, then how will it come? If you don't even ask Allah, you, yourself will
forget about it and you're not going to take advantage of every opportunity. The fourth piece of
advice, and I speak as somebody who straddles both cultures of the east and the west as somebody who
has lived for long periods of time in the east, and I was born and raised in the West, as somebody
who was born as the first generation of basically the firstborn generation here of my parents who
came in I speak very, frankly, that all parents amongst us who have come from different cultures to
America, realize that we now live at a different time and a different place in a different society
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and a different culture. Frankly, you cannot raise your children with the same rules and
relationships that your parents had back home with you, it's not going to work anymore. It's a
different reality. It's not just times have changed, you have literally uprooted yourself from one
culture and planted yourself in a completely different culture, the techniques and tactics that your
parents used with you, you cannot replicate them for this generation in this land. And therefore,
you are the ones that need to learn, not the other way around. It's not your children's fault that
they were born and raised here, frankly, it's yours. You came here, not them. You're the ones who
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decided to come to this land, they were born in this land, they're looking at this society, they're
absorbing the culture, then you're gonna get angry at them. How could you do this? How can you do
that? Think about it, brothers and sisters who brought them here,
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then here you are. So cut them some slack and realize you have to learn more than they will. This is
their culture, it's not your culture. And in order for you to be an effective parent, you will need
to broaden your horizons, you will need to develop a new type of relationship with your children.
And that is a topic that is far beyond the attend 20 hood because this is a lifelong experience. But
I just want to point out certain elements here, no doubt and delay, there's no question the media
and television of the internet. But you know, this whole book is not about blaming them and blaming
those things. That's a reality. It's a reality, I cannot change you cannot change. What can we
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change? Well, what we do at home, how we filter those things out, I can't change the internet, or
Nickelodeon or, or whatever the music videos are watching. This is the reality of the world we are
living in. So instead of just blaming everything on that, and it might be true, there's a lot of
blame there. instead of blaming everyone else, ask yourself proactively, what can I do to better the
situation? Yes, the music videos are there. Yes, the evil stuff on the internet is there? Yes, drugs
are everywhere. But instead of just cursing and slandering and blaming, ask yourself, what can I do
to protect my son and daughter? This is the productive mentality, instead of just every pointing
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finger, see what is reality? See, what is the best way to raise your child. And I have some basic
points of advice here, first and foremost within this area of changing cultural paradigms, do
realize brothers and sisters that our children, they do have a sense of no talk, a sense of I know
better than my parents understand this. And they get this sense because of many facts of life. I
mean, let's be realistic here. Our children know better than we do about technology. Our children
are better than read about the latest gadgets about the latest, this and that. And I will tell you I
grew up here. I thought that I knew this society and culture now that Allah has blessed me with
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children of my own, believe me, I don't know the difference between this and that. And sometimes my
kid comes and tells me, oh, you need to get the iPhone five. Because this has this and this has
done. I don't know these things anymore. Because now I'm getting out of touch even though when I was
growing up, and I grew up with the Western environment, I felt this way about my own father, that
I'm more technologically advanced, that I'm in tune with everything. But this is reality that when
we reach a certain age, our children are more in tune with reality. Now what technology now let me
ask you put yourself in the shoes of that 10 year old a 12 year old when he knows his father does
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not know how to operate a computer as well as he does. When he knows every single gadget on the
market. He is more aware than his father. Isn't it natural for this 10 year old to think I know
about life and reality and culture and society and people better than my father does. Put yourself
in his shoes. Do you blame him? And no, it is true. The media also television also it gives this
sense that the parents are backward and the child is no taller than the child is right? Yes, it is
true. We can blame the media. But let's also sympathize a little bit. Is it really this child's
fault now to think this way, it's our job to educate the child you know what you don't know
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00:29:59
everything. You might know the iPod or the eye touch or the eye this better than I do. Right? But
you don't know human society. You don't know interactions. You haven't tested humanity the way the
way that I have. You haven't lived amongst people the way that we have and that's your job in a
gentle manner.
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00:30:33
A child. And one of the best ways to do this brothers and sisters, and this is very difficult for
those amongst us who have been raised in a different society and culture will need to learn. There's
a common expression in America here that parents have to be friends with their kids, you know,
perhaps that's not going to happen. Let's be also realistic. But let me tell you what they frankly,
perhaps you're not going to be friends with your kids. But you will have to learn to have
conversations with them that are beyond just rebooting or opening or commanding, you're going to
have to learn to talk to them and not at them.
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00:31:12
He can now examine your own life. When you talk to your children. What is it about? Is it all do
this? Don't do that? How could you have done this? If this was your whole relationship with your son
or daughter? Frankly, you're setting yourself up for failure? When's the last time you actually had
a conversation that was not working? Not commanding, not derisive, not sarcastic. Yes, they deserve
a little bit of harshness once in a while. But if that's the only thing you can show them, what do
you think their attitude will be a view, especially when they grow older, especially when they hit
the teenagers, especially when they get their car and they get their first taste of freedom? I
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00:31:50
agree, perhaps in our culture, you can't be a friend to the child, okay. But you must be friendly
with them. You must have some positive relationship that is above and beyond just puking and, and
always getting angry at them. Have a conversation? What's happening? What's going on? What did you
learn in school, take them out, spend some quality time with them. And this is one of the biggest
differences maybe between the previous culture or the previous generation, our generation that
perhaps for many of us, our fathers didn't really go out and play soccer and basketball with us with
our friends, perhaps, and you're not criticizing that maybe that works back there, I don't know. But
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00:32:29
over here in this land over here, where we are, you have to have some type of friendly relationship
with your own son or daughter. Let me put it this way. Let me be really Frank here. If your son or
daughter does not feel comfortable coming to you for a problem that they're facing, because of a
mistake they might have done, that will lie, this is a very big problem. If your son or daughter has
committed a mistake, and let's be honest, they're all going to commit mistakes, because that's a
part of growing up. Did you not also commit some mistakes when you were teenagers? Let's be honest
here, right? If your son or daughter commits a mistake, and then they don't want to come to you for
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00:33:05
help to clear that mistake up? Well, then honestly, how are you being a good parent there, you will
need to have the doors of communication open. If your son or daughter is going through a standard
probably have a teenage years, when they reach 1314 hormones are gonna kick in, they're gonna be
interested in somebody the opposite gender, they're surrounded by drugs, * is everywhere.
If you're not going to open up the channels of communication, if your son or daughter feels awkward
coming to you, well, then they're gonna go to another teenager, they're gonna go to the internet,
they're gonna go somewhere else for help. No doubt, maybe our parents could never have spoken to us
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00:33:42
about these issues. But I am telling you, as somebody who straddles both generations, we need to be
frank with our children, we need to tell them about things. And honestly, they probably know these
things before you've mentioned them. But the very fact that you open up the topic, the very fact you
take your 13 year old son and you tell them about the problems of internet *, the problems
Believe me every 13 year old knows about *, believe me, every single teenager knows about
this. If you're not gonna open up the door, if you're gonna be so taboo, I can't do this. Well, then
how do you expect him to come for help to you if something happens that he needs some help about?
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00:34:10
There has to be open channel of communication, mothers, talk to your daughters about the realities
of this world. Talk to your daughters about basic biological facts, let them know that Listen, if
you need any help, I'm here for you just give a generic statement like this. If you need anything
come to me first, I will help you out just generic statements like this so that they know that their
parents are there to help them in case they need that help. Few more, a few more points. Now point
number six in our list here.
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00:34:17
The Quran tells us level tenderly uttama had a double up on the caffeine and this to me.
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00:34:59
to basically summarize, the Quran is saying, test your children with responsibilities test the
orphans in this case that are being raised in the family, give them responsibility and see how
intelligent they are. So a part and parcel of raising children is to stop treating them like kids
when they're no longer kids. As our children grow up to become young men and women, and when do they
become young when a woman according to Islamic Sharia when they hit puberty, and what that means at
the age of 13 1415 max but usually 1314 islamically speaking these young children are now fully
grown adults according to the shediac
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00:35:36
which means they are legally responsible for their sins for their, for their personal lives for
their son or for their relationships when they hit puberty, they are young men and women according
to the media. And I have said this many times before, one of the biggest complaints that I have
about modern culture is this period of adolescence of teenage years, where children are treated like
children, even though intellectually biologically, they're adults. Personally, I don't believe in
this, you start treating a 13 year old like a young man or woman, because they are or at this stage
a young man or woman, you give them responsibilities. Now, obviously not all at once you test them
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00:36:09
bit by bit, as the Quran says word thoroughly. uttama. And the verse is about an orphan. When when
do you return the money that again, it applies to our own children, give them responsibility, and
our scholars have explained this. And they say, so you give some money to the child and you say that
when he's in the marketplace, go buy this and then see, does he buy the right item or not, and then
you increase that responsibility. This is a part of our culture, you cannot pamper your kids until
they're 18 years old, it's not gonna work that way, our children are gonna face the real world. So
we have to prepare them responsibilities at home. And yes, you can quote me on this to your
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00:36:43
children, as well. So very important part of growing up there, no one's gonna have the mother to
clean after them. You have to have children learn to become self sufficient. This is a reality for
their own good. You need to wash your dishes, you need to take care of you and clean your room
called do your clothes, this is a part of the responsibility to grow up. If you're going to treat
them like kids, well then don't complain when they're 18. And they're still acting like kids, you
need to start treating them like young men and women. And the final point, the time is of the
essence here, there was much more but time is of the essence. The final point that I have for
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00:37:24
today's was a good environment, Islamic environment, the masjid Islamic classes, Sunday schools, and
I put this the last because many of you put it number one, and they don't realize this is in fact,
the very last issue. Number one is yourself. Number one is your own house. Number one is the family
environment. If that is an order, everything else is secondary. But many families they literally
think of Sunday school or the masjid one hour a week to be the magic cure. They drop their kids off,
then they pick them up in an hour. And then they complain and they say chef, my kid is rude to me.
And that's the only exposure they have to Islam. Is that one hour of Sunday school? No, this is the
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00:37:59
very last thing but it is also important. Come regularly to the masjid let them see what is Islam.
Let them see the Muslims, let them interact with other Muslim children. And that's why you were very
eager about not just building a Masjid. We want to build a Family Center. We want to build a place
where our youth are pushing us to come and go. They're interested to come to chill out to play
basketball to just socialize, because we want them to be in this environment. Islam is not just
about the Salah, it's about living your life. And that's what we want over here as well. So yes, it
is important that I put this right at the end of the list because the most important is at the home.
00:37:59 -->
00:38:36
The most important is you and your wife, then everything else is secondary. But outside of the
house, what can you do? No doubt outside of the house, the most important thing is to have a good
environment for your children to make sure that their friends are also Muslim children that you go
to the masjid as frequently as possible and realize brothers and sisters a hot button is not going
to solve the problem. It is a change in my lifestyle and your lifestyle and the final point of the
first football, realize that Subhanallah there is no magic cure. There is no solution to all of this
even if you follow all of these guidelines, it is indeed possible that a lot of tests people with
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00:39:13
calamities and difficulties look at the Prophet know how to his Salaam and his son and what happened
with his son and know Allah His Salaam is a prophet and know all of these things and much more than
these things. But Allah chose to test them in a certain manner. So do realize that there is no magic
cure. It's a learning process is an ongoing process and we do what we can we'll do our to Allah with
help from Allah subhana wa Taala with our own luck and manners and we put our trust in Allah
subhanho wa Taala barrel colagreco for him when I finally welcome him I see him that he will declare
Hakeem ahora Mata Simone was still for the Lord out Emily welcome when decided Muslim include them
00:39:13 -->
00:39:15
in festival in the halls of food or
00:39:25 -->
00:39:31
at hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah. Hua hadn't had a summer the lady limited when a mula mula Hakuna had,
00:39:33 -->
00:39:59
can ask the brothers to move forward, we're already packed in there are people outside so try to
minimize the space. Brothers and sisters the rewards of raising a good family, a righteous family
are too many to mention. And the losses for not doing so also to great I conclude this quote by by
simply reminding us of one ayah that talks about the blessings and one eye that talks about the
opposite of that as for the blessings of Allah subhana wa Tada.
00:40:00 -->
00:40:06
says, well the back to the rear to whom the man and I'll How can I be him to return home
00:40:08 -->
00:40:11
those people who believed Allah says women
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00:40:58
and their children after them, then follow them in that belief. We show those children with their
parents up in gender and make a few comments and other scholars comment and they say what this means
is that if the parents lived a good life and they tried to have their children follow in that life,
then even if the children didn't reach that high standard, Allah subhanho wa Taala will bless them
and upgrade them to be with their parents, as they were like one family in this dunya they shall be
like that family in the era. What a beautiful blessing that is, what a beautiful blessing that is
that will receive Hannah Rotella will bless parents through their children and children through
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00:41:13
their parents, that if one or two of them was insufficient, with weak then Allah will overlook that
because of the family. This is what the IRA is saying that the general family they were upon a
righteous mentality. They were good people, what are two there for sure.
00:41:15 -->
00:41:47
I bring them back to the whole family as they were in this life, they shall be in the next life.
What a beautiful blessing is that? And what is the opposite of this? If you don't live up to this,
Allah says in the Quran, that Allah in the house Eden alladhina Hospital and fusa home, Li him Yama,
Yama, Allah dico who al Hassan whooping what is the worst loser? Who is the worst loser? Allah says?
The worst is the one who's lost himself and his family on your milk Deanna
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00:42:20
Lee him not only did they benefit themselves, no did they benefit their families because they had
this materialistic nihilistic complete with dunya with lifestyle, not caring about Allah and His
Messenger not having anything of Islam. They might have enjoyed this life. But then in the Acura,
they lost themselves, they lost their families, they lost everything. zydeco Hua astronomer being
that is the ultimate loss. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us from ever facing that loss Aloma
in the dying for a minimum a llama la
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00:42:25
ilaha illa for Raja What are they in and in LA called?
00:42:27 -->
00:42:27
Russia.
00:42:31 -->
00:42:32
A man
00:42:35 -->
00:42:39
in Nicaragua for him is an Islamic Muslim in
00:42:40 -->
00:42:40
Islam
00:42:42 -->
00:42:43
is Islam and Muslim.
00:42:46 -->
00:42:48
Islam and Muslim in addition to being
00:42:52 -->
00:42:54
a doctor law in America,
00:42:56 -->
00:42:57
within North America,
00:43:03 -->
00:43:12
Allah in the lahoma like Luna nebby amanu sallu alayhi wa sallam with us Lima Allahumma salli wa
sallim wa barik
00:43:13 -->
00:43:18
Costa Rica Mohammed Ali was a big marine about Allah and Allah tala.
00:43:19 -->
00:43:20
Coca
00:43:24 -->
00:43:26
Cola Coca
00:43:28 -->
00:43:30
Cola huhtala Akbar welcome is sada
