Yasir Qadhi – The Etiquettes Associated with Welcoming A Newborn – Ask Shaykh YQ #183

			Mr. Sameera from New Zealand emails, Mashallah beautiful land over there hamdulillah I have not had
the opportunity to visit your beautiful country. She emails from New Zealand and she says that she
is expecting and she wants to know the summary of what is to be done. When the child is born, what
is the adapter, the etiquettes of the newborn? what is and isn't from the sooner and also some
advice in this regard.
		

			One
		

			Kobe league in Regia No Hey la him first.
		

			Recovery.
		

			Now this is a very, very important question and I thought that this actually deserves a mini lecture
in reality. So this inshallah we'll be doing for most of our time today, because indeed, it is one
of the main aspects of our life that Allah azza wa jal blesses us We are all born and then we grow
up and we have we get married and then we have our own children. It is one of the primary milestones
of life and it is also one of the greatest blessings that Allah subhana wa tada has given us a lot
of Sojin mentions in the Quran, that the dinar can be acquired in Weber Nina, which are now
conducted on a Fira that we we aided you, we blessed you with money and with children. And Allah
		

			says in the Quran, Allah Allah will be known as Zenith will hire to dunya wealth and children are
the beautification of this world. It's what makes life beautiful. And Allah mentions a sort of
tunnel, Allahu Giada de comida fusuma as weijun and Allah created from you spouses from amongst you,
what you either coming as Why'd you come Bernina, what half and from your spouse's, he blessed you
children and grandchildren. So Allah azza wa jal explicitly tells us that he's blessing us with
children and grandchildren. And he asks us to be thankful of those blessings. So it is indeed a
great blessing from Allah, and those of us that are blessed with children, we understand those
		

			blessings, those of us that are tested to not have children, we accept a loss either. And we
continue to try for as long as we're able to try, and we accept Allah, because Allah has a divine
plan for everything. So the question our sister asked Is that what is to be done when the child is
born? And of course, first and foremost, I congratulate her for the birth of her first child, she
tells us that it is her first child. And to mention to her that, in fact, our odema have, in fact
written many, many pages. And in fact, one of the famous scholars of our tradition, ignore him when
his son, you know, got married and was expecting the couple was expecting at the time, he wasn't
		

			able to give them monetary gifts. So what did he do? That's what scholars do, he wrote a book to
gift on the birth of his grandson. And he basically in our vernacular, dedicated even though it's
not the way they will do it, but he basically wrote an entire treaties, which is called treffert and
modu Campbell mode, it is a mini volume, which is considered to be one of the most authoritative and
comprehensive references when it comes to the etiquettes of giving birth and the etiquettes of what
to do when the child is born. And he wrote this because of his own personal situation, and the birth
of a grandson. So we congratulate our sister, and we and use this opportunity to summarize some of
		

			this book and also other sources as well realize that children are, of course, not only a blessing
from Allah subhanho wa Taala. But of course, they're also going to be a test and a trial and
tribulation. So with the blessing also comes responsibility. So you now have to change your mindset,
you're going to become a parent, you're no longer you know, free and innocent and young, you now
have a child that will be looking up to you and taking from you. And so it's not just the issue of
the list that we're going to give, actually, I will begin my advice to change your frame of mind.
Now, to be honest, this is one of the most significant changes of any human beings life, that when a
		

			child is born, that is their child, when they become a father or a mother, now you actually have a
blessing from Allah, that is also going to be a test and your manners and your tickets are going to
be reflected what you do, how you act, your religiosity, it will become a role model. We all know
that children learn from observation more than they learn from lectures. So you will be the primary
role model of another human being. And if you are not being a good role model, then on the Day of
Judgment, that other human being can potentially say, Oh Allah, you know, this parent didn't teach
me properly. This mother, this Father Himself, herself, did X, Y and Z. And that's why I did it. And
		

			you know, whether Allah accepts that excuse or not, but they can make that excuse they can, you
know, use you as an evidence again, so you really have to think long and hard about your own
lifestyle and your own shortcomings.
		

			And try your best to perfect them as much as possible. We'll never be perfect. But my point here is
that use the birth of your child to motivate you to increase your own relationship with Allah
subhanho wa Taala to better that relationship and to become a positive role model, look at your own
personal mistakes and try to minimize them and see where what are the areas that you're missing, and
try to maximise on those areas so that it's shallow to under you can cover up any gaps that you
have. And most importantly, obviously, before I get to the actual you know, what is to be done when
the child is born, you know, most importantly due to Allah subhanho wa Taala. You remember, modem,
		

			the mother of ERISA, you know, and Miriam is mother as well before her, they were making dua to
Allah subhana wa Tada, they're making dua for righteous progeny, yeah, he's making dua for righteous
progeny. So make dua that this child becomes righteous that this child is a comfort for you and the
peace of the eyes as Allah says in the Quran, that of the of the characteristics of the righteous is
that they say, Robin Habana mean as YG. Now whether he Athena kurata Aryan which Andalucia Tina
imama, so make dua to Allah, that of your spouse and your children, they will be comforting for your
eyes, there will be something that will make you happy and proud. And that, of course, the reason
		

			being one of the reasons being, that your child will not only maintain your legacy, but will also
give you good deeds when you are gone. That's another reason you need to think about having a good
child. And it's a selfish reason. But it's a good selfish You know, there's something called good
self or sometimes you can motivate yourself with the * out selfish motivation. I want rewards
from Allah, that's where I'm going to be good, okay, be good and expect the rose from Allah nothing
wrong with that. So, another motivation, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that a
righteous child is one of the three things that continues to give you good deeds after you have
		

			moved on. So you want to have a righteous child, because one of the reasons being when you are gone,
that child will be a source of Baraka and a source of care and a source of sanity and good deeds.
And it is authentically reported that it is our Profit System said that sometimes your apparent
ranks will be raised up in gender. And he will say, oh, Allah, how is this happening? What's going
on? Why am I getting the free upgrade, and the Allah will tell him because your child your son, your
daughter was making to offer you was making this the fall for you did a good deed for you. So that
is being raised up. So the children have an impact on the status of the parents when the parents are
		

			gone. Therefore, for all of these reasons, and more, you need to change your mindset and try your
best to be a positive role model for your child. Now your question was specific, what are the job of
the newborn what is to be done when the child is born? So a number of points we will mention, first
and foremost, obviously, the appreciation, the sense of shocker to Allah subhanho wa Taala, to
appreciate this blessing, how many are the people that you know, Allah has tested and they shall get
the rewards in the next life, but in this world, they might not have children, how many are those
that are struggling, that are striving and they're not able to. And so Allah has blessed you with a
		

			great blessing. And with that blessing comes a sense of responsibility and the sense of
thankfulness. So this is the first thing and this goes back to the frame of mind. The second thing
that I will advise you is to think of a beautiful name. And this goes back, in fact, to the Sunnah
of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that our Prophet sallallahu it he was sending would love
to choose Beautiful Names. And in fact, it is reported that when his son was about to be born with
your loved one, the grandson of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that Ali and Fatima had a
different name in mind, they came and presented it to the Prophet salallahu. It he was setting up
		

			and he said to them, no name him hasn't, which of course has that means the good, the beautiful, the
handsome hasn't means good. That's literally what it means the good, the good boy hasn't so hasn't
means that when you say excellent, what not. So he changed the name to something positive. And also
because it rhodiola has suggested a name that wasn't as positive. And also a number of times people
converted, and they had negative names, or they had names with negative meanings. And our Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wasallam changed those meanings to positive. So a positive name is one of two,
either the name itself has a good meaning to it, okay, so Abdullah, Abdul Rahman is means the slave
		

			or the worshipper of Allah, or, you know, hesson, you know, the good boy, you know, so, or, you
know, Amar, for example, you know, is the means the one who's going to be living a good life. So you
can have lots of good meanings. And by the way, you don't have to restrict yourself to Arabic, you
might speak multiple languages. So you may find a name in your language that has a good meaning to
it, and you may choose that meaning and a second, good meaning or a second name that has a positive
connotation is the name of somebody righteous in our historical past. And so it will become a
legacy, it will become something that the child can look up to
		

			So any of the ambia of Allah or any of the prophets of Allah, or any of the Sahaba, or any of the
great scholars of Islam, so there's a role model, a legacy that the child can look up to. And you
can tell the child Hey, you know, you were named after so and so. And so there's going to be a role
model linkage over there. Now, the question arises, is this watch it or not? And the response is,
no, it's not why'd you not watch it at all, if you wish to, you might choose a name that simply has
a pleasant sound to the ear, but it doesn't have any meaning to it, many of the names are like that.
So even, for example, the name of Abu Bakar. Of course, when we say it, we think of the Sahaba, or
		

			the Allah one, but Abu Bakar himself when his when the name was chosen, generally speaking, a worker
doesn't really have an meaning that is used or intended, it's just a common, you know, name for the
time being. So it doesn't, it's not wajib, that the name have a positive meaning, however, it is
better and encouraged to do so also, again, to be reasonable and realistic, that you don't have to
check the new meanings of the name against all the languages of the world know, the language that
you are speaking and accustomed to in your culture, and perhaps the culture that you're living in.
And perhaps the Arabic I would say, these are the three cultures for most of us living in, you know,
		

			as expatriates or as second third generation, however, we are living in these lands, that I think it
is reasonable to say that the culture of our language of our forefathers, along with the language of
the community we live in, along with the language of our scripture, which is the Arabic language
that within these two or three languages, if you look, no, no negative meaning should be there.
Anything beyond this, I mean, there's some obscure language of the world who's gonna it's not your
responsibility. But definitely, if there's a negative meaning, if there's a vile meaning in any of
these languages, it's not wise. In fact, it might even be mcru, or even how long depending on what
		

			the meaning is. And if it's done intentionally or not. So make sure the meaning is a positive
meaning Oh, by the way, before I move on, again, this is all 1.2 of the meaning, a lot of times
discussion rises, who has the right to name the child, and this is not a discussion that should go
to legal terms, rather, it should be done by mutual consultation, it should be done with the parents
and the extended family. And then at the end of the day, obviously, it is the husband and wife who
will make the final decision. And between the two, we should not invoke law, no marriage is going to
flourish. If that law is invoked, right, there should be by mutual agreement and consultation and
		

			try their best to come to a happy means or even if it means this child you will name the next time I
will name whatever that might be, you should be done within the confines of the marriage. And by the
way, obviously, you know, it's always permissible to name the child more than one name. So you know,
you have two names, and then the family name, no problem, whether that also has resulted in the
compromise of many arguments between the couples about the naming of the child. So this is the the
next thing that the name should be chosen. And many of the roadmap, they recommended that the name
be announced on the seventh day, but this is just a recommendation. These days, the culture is that
		

			as soon as the child is born, and also because you must put the services certificate, so nothing
wrong with doing that before again, these are the minutiae, the very small, you know, around the
Earth of the early outcomes was quantified, and it was made something normative. And that's nothing
wrong with that. But in the cultures that we live in, the baby's not going to go home, sometimes
until you name the baby, obviously, we'll have to name the baby immediately, no problem. But if any,
in some cultures, it is possible,
		

			it might be preferred to follow the Sundar and announced the name on the seventh day. And as I said,
it's not something that should be delayed if there's a need, you know, to name the child. The other
issue that the vast majority of our fuqaha. And what had the theme have encouraged and this is the I
would say the default position of pretty much the bulk of the oma including ignore palladium himself
and others in this regard, that the advance should be given in the right ear of the child. This is
something that is pretty much the default of the majority of the oma with some dissenting voices.
And this is based upon a hadith reported in Timothy and Abu Dawood, that abordar Pharaoh said, I saw
		

			the Prophet salallahu it he was seldom give the other man in the ear of Al hesson when al Hassan was
born to it and Fatuma, so whether it has to be a loved one was born, I saw the Prophet salallahu it
who was telling him give the van in the in his ear and tell me the who narrated the Hadith he said
it is it has no so here it is a good and authentic hadith. And pretty much the bulk of the oma has
		

			acted upon this hadith. Emma nawawi, the famous scholar unknowingly he says the Sunnah is that the
other can be given in the ear of the child whether it is a boy or a girl, and it is the event of the
Salah it is done the way that you give the advent of the sort of obviously you said in a small voice
because it's a newborn child. You don't want to scream in the chocolates here. That's not this one.
So you lower your voice and you just whisper into newborns, child's ear, and then he mama No, we
says and a group of our scholars said that
		

			The advance should be given in the right ear and the farmer should be given in the less left ear and
he ma'am and no we then said Walker the jaw I'ma do Naseby daddy fella, but it's a bit family B, and
this is what the people have done. This is the default of the of the people. So there is no problem
in doing this is the great one of the greatest of the Shafi scholars in a name that is a household
name, which is Imam and no worry. Also, the famous scholar Emmanuel Bahati of the Hanbury madhhab.
He says in the famous book, Shackleton as well, that and it is sooner to give the Adhan of the to
the newborn in the right ear, whether it is a boy or a girl and to give the armor in the left ear.
		

			And this is based on the editor of raffia. And in Aberdeen, the Hanafi also says pretty much a
similar thing in his hatia that one of the times that the advice should be given is for the newborn
child. Now this is the default position of these three math hubs. In the Maliki school, by the way,
some of the scholars especially the early Meineke madhhab, they did not consider this to be
something that should be done.
		

			And within the Maliki school, there is a bit of a controversy some of the later scholars allowed
this now, this controversy was sort of taken to a different level, a generation ago one particular
great scholar of Hadith, he began to claim that it is a bita to give in the in the year and of
course, scholars have the right to give their positions and others have the right to to correct or
to clarify, I am not aware of any scholar before this, who said that it is a bidder. And if even
somebody said it is definitely not something that was commonly known the default position of the of
the schools of law of the three schools at least was that advance should be given. Now he based this
		

			on the claim that the Hadith is weak. And Firstly, that is contested. Other scholars have said it is
not weak, remember, tirmidhi was amongst them. And even if it is weak, and most likely, it is
slightly weak, even if it is weak, I think the main point that needs to be stressed Is that pretty
much the default position, the vast majority of the scholars have always considered that it is
permissible to act upon a weak Hadith when it comes to generic good issues. So to to, to to
rephrase, one can say, why would it be a problem that the first thing that the child hears is the
decree of a law? Why do we want to problematize something that is something that is so
		

			inconsequential when the bulk of the oma has adopted it? So I would recommend, as you mama know, we
recommended and as the vast majority of scholars recommended that, yes, the advance should be given
in the right to win a soft voice. And as for the former, if you don't do it, because the Heidi for
the Arma is definitely you know, far more of a weak If not, if not moonga are very rejected if you
like, but even if you did it on the concept or not because of the Hadith, there is nothing wrong
with it. And if you left it because there's no authentic hadith, not even alive Hadith about the
karma, if you left it and that too would be something that would be permissible, don't make it a big
		

			deal is the point. But definitely the Adhan should be given in the right ear, and this should be one
of the earliest things that is done. And of course, the point being that we want the vicar of Allah
and the Kadima and the name of the prophets assumed to be mentioned very early on in the child's
life, the first day of the child being born. The next add up that is mentioned by our early
scholars, is the issue of technique. And technique was done by the professors and multiple times. In
fact, there's multiple Hadith in Sahih, Muslim and others and Timothy and others, that that the
children when they were born, you know, their mothers would send them, you know, with somebody else,
		

			maybe if they couldn't come themselves to the prophets of Allah while he was sending them. So the
newborn would come to Him be presented to him, and he would take a small bit of a date, and then
chew it so that it is digestible, and then that date, he would put it into the mouth of the the
child This is called technique. Now the issue comes, why was this done? And depending on that, then
the scholars differed. Should it be done in our times or not? One group of scholars said it was
done, because we want a date to be the first thing that the child tastes. So we want to like you
know, make the date and of course we chew it a little bit and give it so that we want the data to be
		

			the first thing that the child tastes. Now, if that is the case, then it should still be done it Why
not? If it's sooner for that reason, let let it be sooner. Another group of scholars said no, it was
done for the Baraka for the blessings of the saliva of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam and
then if that is the case, then that door is shut because obviously, you know we do not seek that
type of Baraka from anyone other than the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So depending on your
frame of mind here, and if you ask me,
		

			I my assumption is that they did this you know, for the bulk of the saliva of the Prophet
		

			Lola while he was selling them, and so that would probably be the default. Nonetheless, if somebody
does it thinking that it is sooner to have a little bit of a date in the mouth of the child, then
this is a valid interpretation. And it is something that does there are plenty of ideas in this
regard. So we don't know the psychology of why it was done. So if somebody does this thinking that
this is the sooner to be done for the child, there's plenty of it, that it can be understood. And in
fact, do you remember no, we once again, remember, no, we mentioned that this is a practice that was
done with the Falcon root Mr. Basically, by the vast majority or the consensus of the of the
		

			scholar. So again, no big deal if you do this, as well. And if you leave it, then also no big deal.
Because again, it goes back to why it was done by the Prophet salallahu. It he was sending him. The
next edit that is mentioned in many books, including inoculums book as well, is that the hair of the
newborn should be shaved off on the seventh day, or early or after, I mean, again, the issue of
seventh day or 14 day, these are all very minor recommendations, you don't have to, you know, be
radically difficult if it's not possible to bring the barber or to do something, it's not a big
deal, whatever dates done, but it is definitely soon. All of these are assuming that by the way it
		

			is so no, it is sooner to shave the hair of the of the of the newborn. And the majority of scholars
have said this is done for boys. And some have also said for girls, and again, you know, it's easy
going whichever one you follow, it's not a big deal. And so the majority have said this is done for
boys only. So you shave off the hair of the of the child. And this is something that again, the
majority of them are considered to be recommended for the for the baby boy. And then to give some
charity that is called quote unquote, the weight of the hair. Now the weight of the hair does not
mean that you actually go and wait it, it means a very small amount, like 510 dollars or something a
		

			few dollars, even really just the weight of the hair of silver. And that means a very, very, very
insignificant amount of silver. In other words, you give some charity when the child is born. And so
this is another thing that should be done to give charity and to shave off the hair of the newborn
baby boy, and that's for the girl. The majority said it should not be done. It's really meant for
the boys and a minority group said, even girls, it doesn't matter. Both of them can be done. So
again, these are all trivial issues which position you follow in this regard. The next issue that is
is also explicitly mentioned in the Hadith is the issue of the appeal. The issue of the article, and
		

			the article is the name given to the sacrifice that is done of an animal when the child is born, and
our profits of the law while he was selling themselves kulu what hola min or Hina to get it he that
every single child is basically in limbo meaning Yeah, there's a lot of commentary, what does this
mean? But it basically means that they should be freed, if you like, by the article, and this is a
metaphorical freedom, obviously, they should be freed by the article. So the article should be done
on the seventh day. And the prophets ism said in this hadith as well, will you some fee, the name
should be announced on this day, and will you correct so and the hair should be shaved off. So this
		

			is the Hadith where all of these adapt are coming from. So the data is done for the newborn, and as
you should try to do the article for the seventh day or the 14th or the 21st. And if that is not
possible, than any day that is reasonable, you can do the article and portions of the meat of the
article should be given to the poor. And if you want to invite people over as well, they may be
invited. And the minimal that should be done is at least one goat or sheep for the baby girl and two
for the baby boy. And so some celebration should be done in this regard and the meat distributed for
the people. And if you want to do more than that is also not a problem. And the the issue also comes
		

			up
		

			the the haitang, which is the circumcision. And for us as Muslims, as we know, the circumcision,
according to the correct opinion is actually obligatory for males, that males must be circumcised
and there is no explicit date to circumcise the boy. And different cultures have had different dates
for the circumcision. But obviously the earlier that is done, the better that it is. And so
circumcision is something that is obligatory for men. As for the issue of the very controversial
issue of female genital mutilation or FGM. There is no question that this practice as it is done in
some portions of Africa and other places that this practice is completely under Slavic and baseless,
		

			the way that it is performed and the way that it is done and the goals of this practice. This is
nothing short of actual mutilation and it is sinful for anybody to
		

			do that which is done in those lands. And if you are not aware, then I don't want to go into graphic
detail, but it is something that is without a doubt how long an impermissible and it is sinful and
it is an evil practice that needs to be completely eradicated and spoken out against there is no
such thing as this notion of female genital mutilation or FGM. That is done in some lands. And by
the way, this is not an Islamic practice. Some people link this this practice to Islam. But in fact,
this is something that is done in those cultures. Some of those people are Muslim, some of them are
Christian, some of them are animus and pagans. So it is that a particular group of subcultures have
		

			one particular region that, that practices this barbaric practice, which is painful, it is
potentially lethal. The child many times the baby girl dies as a result of this, and it destroys
marital life completely destroys marital life. And it is, without a doubt something that is
forbidden in our Shetty. So we need to be very clear about that regard. male circumcision is
obligatory upon the newborn. As for the Convert, there's a whole different controversy, we're not
going to go there but for the newborn child in the the default is that it is obligatory, and female
genital mutilation as it is practiced in these areas and whatnot is completely against the teachings
		

			of Islam. So these are some of the main summaries of the adopt of the newborn. And then of course,
after all of this comes the psychology of raising a child, and I have given a number of talks about
this about what is to be done and, and I began my lecture as well mentioning the the role model
status that parents have, and the responsibility that they should feel in the eyes of Allah subhanho
wa Taala. One other thing could be mentioned as well, and that is, it is customary. And this is
found from the status of the Sahaba. And the early scholars, it is customary that when you hear of
the birth of your of a new boy or girl like you, your your friends or your relatives or whatnot,
		

			that you make dua for the person, as soon as you hear as soon as you're told, and there are phrases
from or there are phrases from the thought of the Sahaba that you know, may Allah bless you know,
the newborn, and may you be thankful to the one who gave you but you can really just make any drop
that you want. So the default and this is part of our tradition and culture. When something good
like this happens, and we hear of it, we make do art from the heart for our family, for our loved
ones for any friend for any acquaintance that we hear, we make dua and Allah knows whose da is going
to be accepted. So this was the answer to your question.
		

			Amish
		

			people, he can