Yasir Qadhi – The Art of Being a Gentleman Lessons from the Story of Musa (AS)

			Oh to other, it's specially important for the youth to remain young men in the audience. stay glued
to your seat. We're going to introduce you to the concept of being a gentleman through the story of
the Prophet Musa alayhis salam, what does it mean to be a true gentleman, and we're going to do a
quick Tafseer of Sudoku puzzles verses 21 onwards. It is the only time in the Quran where the story
is mentioned. And it is an interaction between two non Muslims which resulted in a marriage so pay
attention young men. This is the halal mechanism of interaction that if you do it properly and
shallow to Allah, you show what it means to be a young man. So what is the story I'm talking about?
		

			It is surah Allah sauce that Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions that when Musa fled from Freetown he
wandered into the valley of Midian Walla Walla, dama Madeon. He came to the Valley of meridian. What
are they you own matter men and naseous phone he found the well of Meridian, he didn't have any
money. He didn't have any food. He needed water. So he went to the well, and he found a whole bunch
of people surrounding the well Uma, like crowds hustle and bustle. Well, why did the men Dooney him
ombre tiny tattoo done. And he found two young ladies that were being repelled away from the crowd.
They weren't in the middle of the crowd. They were at a distance underneath the Wellman Dooney him
		

			so they're a distance away from the well, they're trying to get in but something is repelling them.
Notice he is examining the situation. There's nothing wrong with looking around you're seeing male
and female what's going on? This is the Shetty doesn't say you walk literally blind two feet, you
see what's going on. And he sees two young ladies with their flock and something is repelling them
or they're not in the thick of the crowd. So he walks up to them all. Amma Hottel bakoma. He says,
What is the matter with you? All them are Hotbot coma. Now here, we see as well, that a non Muharram
man is approaching a non Muharram lady and engaging in conversation but the conversation two words.
		

			Not Can I get your number? Not what's your name? Not let me tell you about myself. He sees a bizarre
situation. And he says minimal conversation. What is going on? Why are you here? Ma Hotbot coma?
Now? What is what why did he walk up to them? Some arola might say that it was strange to see women
in basically a man's arena. And this is definitely a very likely possibility that it's not typical,
especially when you have shepherds. And you know people that are have a different, you know, way of
interacting and whatnot, you find two young ladies in a crowd full of you know, workers that are
jostling and shoving and bringing in It's a strange situation. So he's seeing Is everything okay?
		

			Can I help out and this shows you it is halal, even in this case. And others mentioned another nokta
possibility, which is actually very likely. And that is that. Imagine this scenario, where you have
a bunch of young men all jostling and shoving together and you have two ladies in the distance, it
is very likely that these men were saying things they shouldn't say teasing, cat calling this is
usually very common. You know, when you have a group of, you know, workers, men of this nature, just
all coming together. And then you have two ladies of this nature. There might have been some
inappropriate back and forth. That's why the ladies are not to do done. They've been repelled by the
		

			manners of these men. So they're not in the thick of things. So Musa alayhis salam comes between
them and the ladies as a defense mechanism. By the way, Musa was massive and huge. Musa was muscular
and tall, right? So Musa alayhis salam shows what it means to be a gentleman and essentially
protects the ladies from what's going on behind. And he says, Why are you here? You see what's going
on? I mean, what you know, mahute bukhoma. So he becomes a protector when he sees the need to
protect and these are two strangers. These aren't his kith and kin. He doesn't know them but what's
going on is not appropriate could escalate to something more so he says, My Hotbot coma minimal,
		

			what is your issue and concern? And they replied, Aleta lioness, the Hector use theory ah, they
said, the two of them they said, we are not able to fleet feed our goats until the rest of the
shepherds leave. And by that time the water is gone. What Abona che Han Kabir and our father is a
very weak, elderly man. So they're making an excuse. Why are they in the man's world? Again, this
was a gendered world back then. Right? This is not where young ladies come. So they have to explain
that. Look, we are here we're not
		

			In the middle of things, because we can't get in the middle of this crowd, you know what's going to
happen if we jump in there, and we're going to have to wait until the majority of the water is gone,
nothing will be left. And then to explain, they said, Our father is an elderly person. And the
implicit understanding is we can't afford to hire somebody. They didn't say that. But it's
understood that we only have one man in the house. And that's a very elderly father. He's physically
not capable of walking. He cannot come over here we have taken on the job, generally speaking, yes,
it is a man's world in this arena, but there's no alternative. Now the question arises, why would
		

			they respond to Musa in the first place? He's an edge Nebby, he's a stranger. Why would they even
speak up? Our scholars say, the demeanor of Musa alayhis salam, his o'clock, the fact that he
defended them in this manner, the fact that he approached them in a manner that clearly gave them
comfort. He wasn't staring, lowered gaze, acting in a very, very dignified gentleman manner. he
exuded a protection, even though they didn't know him, they offered say, You know what, this is why
we are here. By the way, what really makes this whole story interesting. Musa alayhis salam was not
yet a prophet.
		

			This is all happening. When he is not yet a prophet. He is a regular Muslim. And he was raised by
his mother. So we can say this is how his mother raised him.
		

			The clock right here that he is getting his mother, you know the story. We didn't go there today.
But you know, the story his mother raised him, you know, the miracle of Allah azza wa jal bringing
his mother back to the palace, if at all, and she's the only Muslim or otherwise he would have been
a pagan. Allah saved him by putting his mother as his nanny as his nurse, the wet nurse, his mother
comes in, and she raises him the only Muslim in the whole palace of paganism, the clock he learned
from his mother, we are seeing it here. He's not yet a prophet prophecy is going to come 10 years
later, right now, he's a Muslim like me and you and we see the amount of a clap and dignity, these
		

			two strange ladies to him. They trust him by giving this information away. Our father is elderly and
sick. He can't come here. We can't afford they don't say this, but it's understood. We can't afford
to hire somebody. That's why we're doing this job. When he hears this story for Southpaw Lahoma. He
took the goats and went into the crowd with the other men there. First of all, Homer he's the one
who went now He Allah says for SOCO Lahoma, as if to indicate, as if to indicate that his Nia was so
pure. There was no motivation of anything other than to help them out. First of all, Lahoma he fed
the goats for them. He had no incentive to show off. You know, every young man knows. You can be the
		

			knight in shining armor right now. Every even older men might notice to him or her just like you and
you'll have the opportunity. I shall save the damsel in distress and in the process, spotlight is on
me. But Allah, hints fossa Lahoma they had he had no such intention. His intention was pure. He
wanted to help innocent people, young ladies whose father is sick. Even though it's so easy to take
advantage of that situation. He didn't do so. And he gives them their flock back notice they trust
him enough to give them their flock. What could he have done in three minutes such that these two
young ladies they take our flock and go away? Imagine how his luck could be the two young ladies who
		

			come daily to the watering they they come every single day they have to face the tongues, they have
to face the catcalls. They have to face the rotation. Now, a strange man comes and they tell him
their story. And they say here take our goats. Can you imagine how Musa Elena would be acting to
gain the confidence of these two young ladies, the amount of dignity the amount of we call an Arabic
his Shma like modesty how he is portraying himself. The young ladies know this is a gentleman and
every lady knows the difference between a gentleman and between an evil person and Musa has won
their confidence here take our flock first of all Lahoma then he comes back. And then what? Through
		

			matola. He turns his back on them and walks away.
		

			And he won amongst us. This is the time, huh? What's your name? You want to meet for dinner later
on? Let's grab some coffee. This is the time you have done the favor. She has to repay it right. But
Musa knows how sensitive it is. So as soon as the flock come to Wallah, he literally turns his back
on them. Because he knows how dangerous this type of situation is. He turned he didn't do it for
them. So called Allahumma he didn't do it for himself. Sorry he did it for them. He didn't do it for
himself. He did it for
		

			them he turned his back and he walks away. By the way later on in the story, the girls praise Musa
to the Father. And they say that the best person you can hire is a we Yun Amin strong and
trustworthy. This indicates from the idea that Musa alayhis salam showed them aptitude and
trustworthiness. When he did the job of feeding their goats. He must have done a tactic or a
maneuver with his strength to make sure the goats get fed first, and he must have been trustworthy.
Of course, he was trustworthy, he gave the goats back and he interacted with them in a manner that
showed how trustworthy he was. So when they describe Musa later on to their father, look at the two
		

			adjectives they use. Musa was a wee strong and Musa was a mean trustworthy. In that three minutes,
Musa can demonstrate all of these characteristics number two, Allah Allah will then he turns his
back and goes away and he sits under a shade and he makes dua to Allah Subhana Allah to Allah will
call the Rabine Dima and Xanthi Lehmann Hidin, * era, I am for clear, I have nothing. I don't
have a house. I don't have a job. I don't have a career. I don't have a wife. I don't have anything.
Right. Notice. When Musa himself was in distress. He's running for his life, right? From the biggest
superpower in the world. He is literally running from the army of around literally, literally, the
		

			most superpower empire. And the single person in charge funtown knows him by name and hates his
guts. He's fleeing the world. Where is he gonna go? And he has nothing. If anybody had an excuse to
be selfish, and not care about other people, it was Musa Neff, CFC. But no, his mother taught him
better than this. Because all of this is from his mother right now. There is no God right now. There
is no way right now there is no communication, everything he's doing. This is the clock his single
mother taught him this is the reality his mother gave him these manners help the poor, even when
you're poor, help the one in distress even when you're in distress. So Subhanallah when he helped
		

			those in distress, Allah relieved his stress. And this is what we learned in the Sharia. In the
Hadith, all Muslims who are facing a problem, you want your problem to be solved, solve other
people's problems, Allah will solve your problem. We learned this from the story of Musa alayhis
salam, you want your problems to be solved, get involved in solving the problems of other people.
And Allah subhana wa Taala will solve your problems. And this is actually in the Hadith wala, who
founded de mme and Abdul Rahim, Allah will help your problems and can continue to solve them as long
as you are helping your brother solve his problems. So how do you do the Prophet SAW Selim and we
		

			see this in the story of Musa Musa alayhis salam gave to the ladies and he didn't ask them anything,
even though if he had done so it would still be done and with a ticket nothing wrong with that. If
he had said Dear ladies, I have nothing can you spare a meal? Can you give me some money? If he had
done this? It would be halal, nothing wrong, but Subhanallah it's a very sensitive you're a strong
young man. These are young ladies. You just be be contented, just do and move on. So he gave them
what they needed to do. And then he went to the shade away from them he literally walks away because
this is a very dangerous scenario. You are now the knight in shining armor. Their hearts might be
		

			affected your heart might be affected don't take advantage of it. He turned his back walked away
from them and then pray to Allah you hurry up I need some help. Yeah, Rob I am for clear here for
clear literally means for clear. I have nothing he literally had nothing. And he said yeah Rob
whatever you give me I'm a fucking I need it. Right? So Allah azza wa jal says Fauja to Edo Houma
far here means immediately, literally, she went back home, she came back. This is the Allah's answer
to his prayer. How quickly Allah answers the prayer, that when you do something for others, Allah
will then return the favor unto you so forgot to hit the home item. She understood that one of them
		

			came back, one of them came back walking with shyness and modesty, she was feeling very shy. Our
scholars mentioned when Allah praised the woman who was to become the wife of Musa, he did not
describe her beauty. He did not describe her outer garments. He did not describe her length and what
not. He described her o'clock with Hyah.
		

			This was to be the wife of Musa and what was the characteristic that Allah praises from above above
the seven heavens? She was a shy lady. She was walking, embarrassed, awkward, right? And again, if
you point this out, I mean, please don't take this the wrong way. This is Hello. It's toad.
		

			We'll be understandable and permissible for there to be feelings in the heart. Nothing's wrong with
that, but how one engages with them and how one expresses them. This is where this idea becomes
involved clearly Jani This is a very, you know, handsome young man saving the day. It's not true.
Now her father's telling her to bring the young man back of course, she's gonna be nervous, she's
gonna be you know, and she shows this nervousness. And this nervousness is a sign this awkwardness,
this shyness is a sign of iman. This is very politically incorrect to say, but it is what it is, I'm
not going to change this idea, because our modern values have changed. One of the most prize worthy
		

			characteristics of our young sisters should be that of higher, yes, higher is also a masculine
trait. Nobody's denying that. But especially amongst women, it becomes even more prized, and that's
why Allah praises that in the Quran. So she's embarrassed, she's shy, she cannot look at Musa one of
the scholars say she was covering her face with their hand, as she's speaking to him, she's, I'm
embarrassed. And she says audit in OB Ruka. My father is calling you notice this is also wisdom.
Anytime a young lady has to interact, try to bring in an adult male, even if it's by name, my father
is calling you, if she had said, we are calling you it would have been right. But every young man
		

			knows when you mentioned the father, all of a sudden, you sift those that are serious from those
that are players, sisters, I speak to as well listen to this as well. If there is such a scenario
and situation where something is in the heart, never ever interact alone. The Father, even by name
has to come in. That's very necessary, because it's CIFS. The serious from those that are not
serious, in OB DeLuca my father is calling you even though we don't know Maybe she was calling we
don't know, maybe the conversation. But you mentioned the father is calling Leah Zika is Rama
Socrata Elena so that he can reward you for what you have done. So then Musa and the lady walked
		

			towards the house. Now, our scholars mentioned, as soon as she walked in front of him, Musa realized
this is very awkward. Every again, young man, maybe even older men, you understand there's a lady in
front of you, the wind is going to be blowing. You know, it's not appropriate. It's a little
struggle for many of us to make sure we're not staring at the situation. Musa understood. So what
did he do? He said to her, you walk behind me, and I shall walk forward. And if I'm going in the
wrong direction, throw a stone in the direction I should be walking Subhanallah he understood not
every man understands, right? You have the lady right in front of you and you're walking behind
		

			Yanni. It's not a very safe scenario for the gays, right? Musa as a Muslim male not to profit yet.
He understands he doesn't want to be in that position. So he says to the lady, he doesn't even tell
her tell me even though it is Hana talk, he just spoke with her now. But to minimize, he says, I'll
walk. And if the direction is wrong, throw the stone in the direction I should be going a walk in
that direction. Subhanallah this shows you the higher and the club of Musa alayhis salam. So he then
returns and what goes to the Father. Now I don't want to go into the long details of this
controversy. The claim that the father was sure either his Salam Yeah, do you find it in some books?
		

			But it is completely wrong. I'm sorry, but it is wrong. Chronologically doesn't make any sense.
There is no shave at the time where Musa al Islam. I know this is what you have heard. I know it's
very common. But it doesn't matter if it's common. It just doesn't make any sense. There's no
evidence for this. In fact, it goes against everything we know Shall i is a different era, different
time different place. Shipe has nothing to do with Musa alayhis salam is not sure. It was just
another man, another man in the town of Medina, in the valley of Medina. So further Majah who then
he goes to the Father will Casali Hill cos he tells him the whole story. Surah Al cos sila Hill
		

			costs us this was close to the apostles. Ha Silent Hill costs us he told him the story, right? What
story of his upbringing how Allah saved him how his mother was his where he learned as a clock from
he was in the palace. If at our fair, I was trying to kill him. That's why he's here with no money,
no job, no career, no wife, nothing. So then all of a sudden light bulbs are going off and everybody
else's head, right? We need this guy. So called da Huma, the lady that was going to become his wife,
although this document. The Quran is referencing the same lady, the one of the two of them, the one
that's going to become his wife. She's the one that's walking back. She's the one that suggests
		

			again, fathers understand certain feelings are halal. You don't have to criminalize if they're
existing in the heart
		

			It's not anything negative. This is the real world. In the time of Musa we see this you don't think
is gonna happen now the point is not the feelings are valid. The point is what we do with those
feelings. So the lady the young lady says, Yeah, but this dude who, oh my father, why don't you hire
this young man? Why don't you make him somebody that's permanent, you know, in our lives, the father
understands what is going on. And so the father says, I have an offer for you. He understands his
his daughter in the end of the day, when the daughter is speaking up and saying, I want this young
man, you know, to be hired by you. It's understood what's going on. And so the father says, I have
		

			an offer for you. I have an offer for you. I showed Mary you one of my two daughters again, the same
one, I showed him Are you one of my two daughters, if you work for me, 10 Hey, Judge Andy 10 You
know, for a unit of time, some say it's a year some say it's 10 months, whatever it might be, right?
So Cemani 108 And if you do 10 That is even better for you. And this shows us Subhanallah the Rama
of Allah azza wa jal how one small act of feeding goats literally changed the entire life of Musa
alayhis salam he didn't have a job a career a wife a roof overhead has he got everything everything
so I joke Oh young men go feed some goats water inshallah and then make dua to Allah Zota Okay, or
		

			you can feed people water as well point is help people out right so she said hire him. Now notice
what What words did she use? She said in the higher Minister Jakarta Alka we you Amin. The best
person you can hire is the one who's strong and qualified and the one who's trustworthy. Again, I go
back to this point. How did she know Musa is kawaii and Musa is Amin, in that five minutes of
interaction. And in the walk back to the house, Musa has shown how trustworthy he is. He's not
staring at her. He's acting like a gentleman throughout the entire time. If you can act like a
gentleman with a lady, you are far more trustworthy with money and with property. If you can be
		

			trustworthy, where the young lady you can be trustworthy with anything else. And she knows this. And
as for Covey, he must have shown his strength when he's feeding the cattle when he's giving the
water to the you know, the goats and whatnot. She sees this as a strong and trustworthy man. And she
says this is the best person you can hire. And the story goes on. Hold on. So the summary of it is
very simple brothers and sisters, there's a lot of talk these days about masculinity and about being
a gentleman Subhanallah look at the story of Musa alayhis salam look at how he interacted with a
young lady. Look at how he showed the love of the Muslim. Throughout the story from the beginning to
		

			the end, we noticed a dignified interaction and there was interaction by the way a lot of young men
run away and never interact well. I mean, I'm not saying that's wrong but that's not the Musa way as
well. When there's a need you must interact when there's a need you speak but with what is minimal
mahatva coma two words and when there's a need to help you help out and then you remove yourself
from the scene and whatever interaction you do remember Allah subhana wa Tada is watching you. And
with this insha Allah to Allah we make dua to Allah that our young men and women they exemplify and
embody these o'clock that Allah subhanaw taala protects our youngsters from going left to right in a
		

			stripe Allah subhanaw taala grants them right your spouse's spouses that will be a comfort of their
eyes and a coldness of their heart. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to protect our children from all
philosophers from all Zina from all evil things we ask Allah subhana wa Tada to allow our children
to grow up to be strong Muslim men and to be a high up filled Muslim women and to find marriage from
within our own faith and community and tradition. We ask Allah subhana wa Tada to grant them
righteous spouses and to grant them beautiful offspring which Allah will continue to live under Zach
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