Yasir Qadhi – Q&A – What is the Islamic Ruling of causing a death by Accident
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The speakers emphasize the importance of following the Prophet system and following the rules for a healthy life, as well as avoiding reckless driving and following the Prophet system. They stress the need for society to be peaceful and the importance of writing written information to avoid confusion and fraud. The speakers also emphasize the importance of treating others in a manner that is equitable and treating others in a manner that is fair. The transcript appears to be a list of letters and phrases being spoken.
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Woman sent an
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Selam Aleykum Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh. All praise is due to Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, the One and the unique, he it is when we praise and it is His blessings that we seek. He is the Lord of the oppressed, and he answers the call of the week. Today inshallah to other we have a number of very, very deep and profound questions. Some of them are far more difficult to answer than others. But let's begin to shallow to answer the first question, a brother from a European land writes on behalf of his wife, he wishes to remain anonymous, as you will understand why. And he tells us the tragic story of our incident of his wife being involved in a traffic accident that caused an accidental
death, that while she was driving the car, a young child, you know, ran onto the street, and she couldn't stop the car in time, which resulted in the tragic demise of the child. So the husband emails, and he is saying that obviously, his wife is completely distraught for the last few months, even though the police have ruled that it's not her fault. But she's under a lot of emotional stress. And they're both asking that what is to be done Islamically she knows there's some penalty. And also she is saying that the laws of that particular European country, because it was neither party's fault. So the families are being kept, their identities are being hidden from each other. So
she wants me to know that or they both want me to know that they don't have any direct contact with the family of the deceased child.
Now, this is a very difficult question. May Allah make it easy for you, there's no doubt that this is a test from ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada. And even if it's not, you know, your fault, obviously, you know, obviously, as you your email says, you're undergoing stress and emotional strain, which is completely understandable and innocent child's life, you know, is no longer you know, it's now gone. But you must understand that it is Allah SCADA, and you are not guilty in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa taala, you're not liable for sin. It's not your fault, as the courts ruled that it's not your fault if the child ran onto the street and, you know, you you accidentally hit the child,
nonetheless, the Sharia has some types of Kufa rotta explanations that are done, not because you're sinful, you are not sinful, because you did not intentionally cause the death of the child. Nonetheless, the Sharia has a number of things that that must be done when a person's life is taken. Now, we're going to talk specifically about this incident, you should be aware, take a step back here, you should be aware that our Sharia has very detailed laws. And to be very simplistic, there are three scenarios are three types of debts that the surety has. The first is murder, which is when a person obviously intentionally kills another person that has a whole set of laws. And of course,
the ultimate penalty is a sauce or a life for a life. And in the Islamic lands. The second is voluntary manslaughter. This is ship had harmed. And what this means is that you didn't intend to kill, but you intended to cause harm. And that went to the level of death, right? So to do something with the intent to harm but not to kill, but then it causes death. That is a separate category. We're not talking about that. Okay, the third category, which is basically hotshot with the mistake or the technical term, involuntary manslaughter. So these are the three main categories. We are not discussing murder, we are not discussing voluntary manslaughter, those have different laws in the
city. We're talking about involuntary manslaughter. And for the purposes of this question, we are assuming two things. Firstly, that the person who died in this case the child obviously is the case. But suppose it was an adult that that person did not intentionally commit to take his own life. So it is it happens sometimes when we seek Allah's refuge that a person wants to commit suicide, and they then jump into the moving truck, they jump into the road, knowing that is going to cause their death. That is a separate issue altogether. When a person intentionally does that, and you're the driver that has a separate ruling. We're not talking about that. We're also not talking about a
reckless driver. If a person is driving recklessly to the point of endangerment, then in reality, many Islamic Courts have ruled that that person is in category two, which is voluntary manslaughter, if you're driving 70 miles an hour, you know, or 70 kilometers an hour in a 35 mile zone or a 35 mile or kilometer kilometer zone right if you're driving you know at highway speed in a residential neighborhood normally
In what you're doing, right you're not, you know, you're not like a to having heart attack or something, you're conscious that, you know, you're you're being reckless in a safe neighborhood, then this does not apply the third category, which is involuntary manslaughter. And you yourself have told me that the police have ruled that in this case, your wife is absolutely innocent, that it's not something that her she calls No, again, we're talking about reckless driving, there's a gray area, if the speed limit is 30, and you're going 30 to 33, this is not reckless driving, you shouldn't do that. But that's not reckless driving. We're talking about something that everybody
knows that this is dangerous, what you are doing, it goes against the protocols and the norms of safety, and it is reckless, in which case, you're not going to be considered category three, this is category two, which is voluntary manslaughter, because the way you're driving, you are going to cause somebody's death you can't be driving a highway speeds, you know, in the neighborhood, for example. So with those caveats, because again, a lot of people listen and we have to be clear people understand this question is really related to absolutely involuntary manslaughter. A person is innocently going round his day or life or something, and then accidentally No, nothing reckless,
nothing intentional. You know, if somebody dies as a result of your actions, now you are not sinful, you're not going to be punished because you didn't do something that that's at fault, but nonetheless the shitty i has kuthodaw the Sharia has a way to cleanse your own conscience and to make society peaceful and Allah says in the Quran verses in the Quran look it up straighten this up. Verse 92. Allah says, what kinda limit meaning and yeah Potala Meenan Allah Hatha it is not possible for a believing Muslim to murder another Muslim but accidentally Yes, it might happen. Why not? Can it's not possible a Moltmann cannot be a murderer. Allah uses the term Walkman because obviously
that's the higher level you can't have Iman in Allah at the higher level and then murder somebody but Illa Hazza if you make a mistake, then yes, of course that is possible. So Allah azza wa jal says yes it is possible for you to be a good believer a good moment and then make a mistake and accident haha. Then Allah says woman Catella Mothman and hotter and whoever kills a believer accidentally for Tahira quality minute in were dear to Musa limited ilaha illa, ano Sadako, then they must do two things. And that is that they weren't to free a slave in the days that there were slaves, they're going to free a slave. And then they're going to give a D up which is a type of is
called Blood Money, a type of penalty that is given and the penalty doesn't mean you're sinful. It is still a penalty for just societal safety quality, right? It's not a penalty, that means you have done something wrong, you didn't do anything wrong if somebody ran into the street and they weren't supposed to be there and you're going at your speed nonetheless, the Sharia has a deal which is meant to keep civil order it is meant to make the other family feel a sense of of you know, closure, whatever closure is possible. Obviously complete closure is from Allah subhanho wa Taala where the atom was selama to Nila Ali, and you're going to give that dear, which is the blood money to the
family or the inheritors of the person that was accidentally killed in your Sudoku except if they decide they don't want to they can give it back to you they have the option say no, we don't want your money, you know you can keep it and then Allah azza wa jal says in case the person whom you killed accidentally there is no relations between the two tribes are not in any communication, then in this case, you don't have to give that money and if there is connections between the two of you then you must do both the money and the freeing of the slave and familiar lamb aged whoever cannot free a slave. Then what must they do for so yeah, Moshe Rainey Mota Tabby, ayeni Tolbert, Amin
Allah, then there's going to be two consecutive months of fasting as a Toba as a cleansing in front of Allah subhana which either and indeed Allah is IDM and Allah is Hakeem. So two things are mentioned number one, financial penalty, and number two, the freeing of a slave and in case you cannot free a slave fasting two months now, we will discuss both of these issues. The first thing is the financial penalty, the financial penalty, the deer for the accidental death, the Sharia has come with the price of 100. Campbell's generally now again, there's some technicalities about other issues, which we're not going to get into now. I'm just talking generics here, and your email didn't
give me all the specifics of the case. So I will speak in generics so that people are educated and know but I asked you in your particular case to go to your local sheriff or scholar and explain all the details so that that person can then quiz you about more realities. I'm speaking generic response here, that the general default is that it is 100 camels. There are exceptions depending on other facts
It was beyond the scope of our beyond the scope of our talk right here. Now the issue comes that the Shediac came, obviously there was revealed at a time when camels were the norm of society, what do we do in our times? Do we maintain the price of 100? camels? Or do we find a reasonable equivalent for our time and our place? Okay. And that's where a little bit of you know, HD hat is taking place? Because see, let's be honest, here, the questioner is writing to me from a European land for up north, right. Let me just give an example not from the question. Let's say let's say the question is from Finland, right? To the best of my knowledge, Finland does not have hundreds and 1000s of
camels. Whereas Arabia has, of course, hundreds and millions of camels, and it is still very common to, you know, go to the bazaar, there is a special bazaars of the camels and whatnot and purchase a camel, the price of a camel in Finland, will be exorbitantly higher because of the scarcity of the commodity, because it's a very, very exotic animal. So do we take the price of 100 Campbell's in Finland in our in our hypothetical example? Or do we reasonably guesstimate what it might be? And of course, you probably know by now where I'm going to be heading with this, and that is that this is actually the position of the majority of Muslim lands. And again, we have this always we have this
tension between those that just study one textbook or little bit and then they think Allah is this is it and then those that are actually on the scene and doing that the majority of Muslim countries that have Islamic Courts in their systems, the majority of Muslim lands have estimated what is the equivalent of 100 camels the price that would have been back in the time of the prophets, Assam, what is a reasonable equivalent in their lands? So for example, the fatwa Council of Egypt and the Grand Mufti of Egypt in Egypt, they have estimated this to be 35.7 kilograms of silver, and they calculate it out in Jordan, they have equivalent it to be sorry, they have made it the equivalent to
be around 20,000 Jordanian Dinars. Okay, from their perspective, it is, you know, that's what they think is a reasonable amount. In Saudi Arabia, they have just said roughly around 400,000, riyals, which is a little bit over 100,000. US dollars equivalent, right? So in every country, they're trying to estimate, what is that amount that the Sharia intended? Because the reality is if you calculate the price of a camel in Finland, right, and then you multiply that by 100, you're talking about millions of dollars, maybe maybe the price of a camel, maybe in Finland, I'm just saying I don't know, is maybe $100,000, or maybe $50,000. Right? So then you're going to multiply that by
100, you know, and say, you know, half a million or 5 million, let's see, that's not the surely as you know, point that you put a number that is astronomical, because of the price of the camel. So there is a bit of common sense involved. And this is where pragmatic fit comes into place here. Now, I don't know, you know, what would be equivalent in your particular land. So what I advise you to do is one of two things either you find a local share, who understands you know, our classical folk and also understands the modern realities of the world. And you ask that chef of your land, what is the equivalent price that would be the reality of what, you know,
100 Campbell's would be or you can take the fatwa of the Egyptian Darren Iftar and the Grand Mufti of Egypt, because they have calculated the price of a camel in silver in the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, which is 120 Silver Durham's and that they multiply that by 100. So that makes it 12,000 Silver Durham's and then they have said that a silver Gooderham is roughly 2.975 grams of silver. And so when you do all of the math, you actually end up with 35.7 kilograms exactly of silver. So they've calculated that in the time of the prophets of Allah who I knew he was selling them, you know, the price of a camel, multiply by 100 and find the silver equivalent, right?
They didn't do that with the gold because the gold equivalent the in the time of the prophets of Allah Who said I'm just FYI, a camel was around 10 gold coins around 120 silver coins, this was the equivalent, one gold coin was roughly equivalent to 12 silver coins. This is the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, obviously, in our times, right? The Gold and Silver ratio has gone completely haywire. And you know, one gold coin might be equivalent to maybe 50 times what it was at the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and obviously the price therefore is very different. So the if the Council of Egypt has been a bit pragmatic in this and they've made the
price links to silver, and I don't have any problem to make this universal because they're basing it on the price at the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and they have calculated to be as we said, 35.7 kilograms right. So make sure you do the equivalent wherever your units of measurement are.
Calculate if you do not find a local sheriff that knows and can estimate according to his own understanding, you may resort to this fatwah, which is a good estimate, and figure out how much that is going to be the price of silver, the day that the accident occurred, the price of silver, and you calculate 35.7 kilograms of silver, and you know, then you will see if you can contact the family now, you brought in another problem or issue and that is that the laws of your country, for we understand why and because it's nobody's fault, they don't want the families to know each other, because it would bring obviously, awkwardness and maybe tension. So the government has basically
separated the identities of both, so neither the family of the child knows who you are, nor do you know the family of the child. And I understand the wisdom of the government in this regard. All I can say is that, find out if you're able to send a message through a third source, a third party and say that we would like to gift you this amount, we know it's not going to do anything, we just want to you know, do whatever we can, and whatever you might say in his name, you know, do whatever, you know, language needs to be used, they don't need to know dia, they don't need to know blood money, but still try your best to communicate to them via a third party, not directly, because obviously,
the Lord doesn't want you to do that. And if you're able to, and they accept the money hamdulillah by the way, as well.
If you are not able to pay this money on your own, then the Shediac actually, some would say obliges, depending on which method you follow, some would say obliges your extended family to chip in. And this is a really interesting concept that the majority of Muslims haven't been taught or studied because we don't apply it anymore. There's something called the AF pillar. And the AF pillar is the extended family or the extended tribe, where in these types of cases where the fee is exorbitant, and it involves an accidental manslaughter that the extended family is expected to chip in. And if the person really cannot afford, they may even chip in from there as a cat money. In this
case, you're allowed to give zakat money because it's a loan due for a legitimate reason. Again, all of this is if you cannot afford if you can't afford then you give if you cannot afford then this is a right that is due to the family of the deceased. So you will get the money from your extended relatives, you know, even a cousin and a second cousin. And you say this is how much we have to gather. You know, please help out in this fun and this is an Islamic obligation for the entire extended family to come together and chip in whatever amount that is reasonable for them and they can expect Allah's reward. And if they don't have the money, they can even give from zakat funds for
this thing. So you offer your money to this family suppose you cannot contact them. Or they get the offer and they say thanks but no thanks. And you know, we don't want the money then you are scot free. When it comes to the financial obligation. You made the offer or you tried to make the offer. You couldn't find the family or they turned it down. You're scot free in law and you're Sudoku there or as Allah says if there is no treaty between you and that tribe, so Allah is saying if you don't have any contact with the other tribe, and he said you know, accidental killing, then okay, you don't have any contact What are you going to do? You don't have to give it to a third party you do
not have to give it to charity. This money is due to the family of the deceased if the family turn it back or if the family are not in contact then it is not due to any third party Jade. Okay. Now we move on to the next issue which is the two months fasting so Allah says, so yeah, Moshe Rainey Wutai be ind. Okay. So the money aspect is to somehow ease some of the burden on the family. And, you know, the reality is that any of course, nothing can replace a loved one, nothing. But everybody benefits from a large amount of money that comes in instantaneously. And that's why in all over the world when there's an accidental death, right, and it's caused by a third party, a trucking company
or something, they go to the court, and the court awards a monetary money, why it's not that you know, the money is going to bring the person back, but it's human nature, that a large amount of money, it kind of makes life a little bit easier, easy, some of the tensions and nothing will replace nothing will replace the loss. But Allah has created us that these other things kind of easy. And this the wisdom of the finances now how about the wisdom of the conscience of the one who has caused the accidental death, our brother emails, and of course, as always, all of my emails are short and when I read to you, he explains in some detail, that obviously his wife is very troubled,
she's not eating normally. You know, she's under somewhat depression for months now. Her life has been shattered even though she's not at fault, obviously. And subhanAllah this shows us you know, the challah the purity of your wife the goodness of her so that she feels you know, a conscience pangs even though she is not guilty and she doesn't have to be feel conscience pangs but it is human.
Nature, it is human nature when you cause somebody's, you know, accidental death, may Allah protect us, may Allah protect us. We don't want any of us to be involved in that. But some of us are tested in this manner. It's human nature, that we feel something and you know, you're describing that obviously, she's having trouble sleeping, etc, etc. Now, here is where the second wisdom comes in. And I remember I dealt with the case a long time ago, where, you know, a teenager was involved in such an accident. And, you know, I told the parents, you know, the penalty and whatnot. And you know, the mother or the father, they began like, irritate, like, why does he have to fast two
months? You know, why does he have to, or what did he do wrong in this particular case, And subhanAllah your email explains why that two month fasting is prescribed. Allah in His mercy. This is a mercy from Allah, it's not a punishment. You see, your wife is feeling something, right. So Allah has placed on her some type of obligation, that it's not an obligation of sin, she is not sinful. But how do you get rid of that that guilt that conscience? Allah says, for that conscience for your mercy? What a beautiful Sharia we have Allah What a beautiful shadier we have to Assange the conscience of the person who has done this accidental, you know, accidental issue is not even a
crime. But how can you not feel a sense of pain and grief so Allah says, You must fast two consecutive months, and that will make you feel better. It will make you purify, and it will be your internal Toba. Allah even uses the word Toba even though technically they did not commit a crime, but Allah knows the psychology of the fewer person and Allah knows that they're feeling guilty. So Allah says, okay, for that guilt, I'll let you get over it. So when you fast that two months, you will then feel in front of Allah that Oh Allah, I've done my share. I've done my you know, my cathedra in your sight, and now you can have a cleaner conscience and I insha Allah to Allah
challenge and ask you, your wife that please do this. And you will find that your life will become much easier because Allah has told you this is how you cleanse yourself. This is Allah azza wa jal tell me better May Allah is going to make you pure, and you will feel at ease that it wasn't my fault. And Allah asked me to do this and now I have done this. And now in sha Allah is not going to completely go it's human nature. Every crime we do I do every sin that I've done, and every issue that I've done, obviously I'm going to have a bit of you know, there must be a little bit of a guilty conscience as good but after this two months, insha Allah Allah, you will feel much better
now. One key point your sister in Islam,
SHA Rainey buta behind two consecutive months and this means 60 days non stop unless you have something that genuinely prevents So, if if your menses take place, then okay, you do not fast on those days. So those 678 days of the month man says you don't fast and then you resume as soon as that from the counter from before the answer. So suppose you fasted you know 25 days, then your menses began six days. Then on the seventh day they finished and you start you start from day number 2625 skip those seven and then 26 and then you move on. If for example you wake up and there was no time for super tough luck, you're gonna have to fast that day. If you have a you know, busy schedule
Tough luck you have to fast that day you're not allowed to skip unless there is a genuine dire it some earlier might say some rude I'ma say, if you fall sick like with a fever or something, in some of them, I say that can be counted like the menses that you just ignore that like a genuine and some are extra strict and they say no, go back to the counter, but Inshallah, my opinion is that inshallah it is permissible to a legitimate medical excuse for a few days, that inshallah you can then consider that to be like your menses, and you simply then resume from where you left off. So, these are the two things that are prescribed, number one, the financial, and we went over in a lot
of detail, the 100 Campbell issues, we went over that and all of the rulings related to that. And number two, the internal issue so the financials for the family, the internal for yourself, and Allah azza wa jal, and that is the fasting of the two months, and I make genuine dua that Allah subhanaw taala eases you know the affair
in your heart and cleanses this issue and allows the both of you to resume you know, as normal as possible. And also, you know, every one of you out there all of you who are out there Subhanallah learn from this as well. You know, drive carefully monitor your children as much as possible, take reasonable precautions, but you know, if something happens, that is a complete accident, there must be a level of Allah's other. We cannot change the time of death. And every one of us our death is already written up there. Lie you're stuck the other one is the one we cannot make it
move forward or push it backward. It is all Allah Allah so Allah azza wa jal knows best.
Our next question, Sister Farah from London emails and says that is there any specific etiquettes or customs that one must do when one finishes reciting the Quran? So this is a simple, beautiful question. And she's asking about what are the manners that the Sharia encourages or advises us when we have recited the Quran, how we've got to the end of the Quran, and of course it is one of the greatest acts of worship to continuously recite the Quran. The blessings of reciting the Quran are something that everybody knows and I've given entire hood buzz and talks about that and they are beyond the scope of our talk today. Allah subhanho wa Taala reminds us in the Quran in Medina yet
Luna Kitab, Allah He, those who recite the Tilawat of the book of Allah subhanho wa Taala and then mentioned the prayer and fasting, those are the people that shall get the reward that shall never be failing, always going to be successful. And he describes the believers are those who recite the Quran the way that it should be recited, and our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Whoever recites one word of the book of Allah shall get 10 Good deeds. And I'm not saying I don't mean counts as a word. Rather Elif counts as a word and lamb counts as a word and mean count as a word. And our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Whoever reads the Quran fluently, is in the
company of the noble Angels, and whoever reads the Quran but with difficulty stumbling. We know there's a difficulty reading the Quran for some people, even that person shall get the double reward. And our Prophet sal Allahu Allah said them told us that the one who would constantly read the Quran, the companion of the Quran, that person will be told to rise up on the day of judgment and to continue reciting as he used to recite in this world so the more one recites the Quran, the more blessed it is, and we are recommended by the Prophet salallahu Alaihe salam to recite the Quran continuously and daily in the famous hadith of Abu Dawood or the Allahu, and that Abdullah and I'm
Dibner house, ask the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, how many days should I finish the whole Quran in? And so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in 40 days finish the whole Quran in 40 days. So even Abdullah Anambra said, I can do more than this. So the Prophet saw him said in 30 days, then he said, I can do more than this. He said, In two weeks, I can do more than this in 10 days, then he said, I can do more than this. And then the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, do it in seven, and don't do it in less than that. And in one Hadith, he explicitly said, Whoever reads the Quran in less than three days has not understood it properly. So many of the senior Sahaba like,
even Massoud, and like Earth might have been found or the Allahu Anhu. They would recite the Quran Weekly, right? Every single week, they would finish the whole Quran. And the prophets are explicitly encouraged all of us to finish the Quran in around 40 days, and if not the 30 days and from this 30 days and seven days, our scholars have extracted the markers that we call Jews are observed or para in the Indian Pakistani subcontinent, right. And we have also the seventh as well the monsoons that are found there. All of this is based on this hadith of Abdullah bin Ahmed and Rouse and if we cannot do one full Jews then to do a lesser than this was also fine and if you cannot even do in 40
days, the point is to do something is better than nothing. And my advice myself and all of you to read the Quran daily, even if is just one page a day, even if it's just one page a day or two pages or half a page, just read the Quran continuously. It is something that is very, very beneficial. It feeds the soul and heart It makes your heart pure, it brings you closer to Allah subhanho wa taala. Now all of this was a precursor to the question. The question was what should be done? Or is there anything to be done when one finishes the entire Quran and gets to see that
little fella Consolata nurse what is to be done? When we get to the end? Well, nothing is obligatory, but a number of things are mentioned in the Athar of the sahaba. And also in the our earlier traditions of them is that when one finishes the Quran, it is recommended via the actions of the Sahaba there is no Hadith particularly but the Sahaba understood this, it is recommended that you make a special dua at the end of that recitation. And it is authentically reported that an a Sydney Malik the companion of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, whenever he finished the Quran, he would gather his whole family, his wife, his children, the whole household, and he would
make a special dua at the end of that recitation. And it is also narrated from Buddha hit, that whenever the Sahaba would finish him of the Quran, they would make dua and they would say Allah's Rama comes down
At the recitations ending, and Ibn Abbas rhodiola, one, the cousin of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he had a neighbor who had read the Quran constantly, he told he would tell his servant, one, my neighbor is going to get to the end, the last Jews, he would recite in a loud voice, he told his servant one, my neighbors are going to get to the end, call me and then he would come and listen and make dua with him because he knew his neighbors making dua. Right. So all of these demonstrate that there was a culture there was a culture amongst the Sahaba that when the Quran recitation finishes, that there is a special blessing and there's a special dua that is to be done. And from
this, the OMA has extrapolated the habit which is not explicitly in the Sunnah, but of neither is it a bit it is completely allowed to make a dua atom, Atom da interra, we are in Ramadan, or in any time you make a dua when you finish the recitation of the Quran, because it is something that is beneficial. Now, there is no dua narrated from the Sunnah obviously, because the whole concept is coming from the sahaba. But any dua that you make, and preferably a dua that involves the Quran itself, ie, oh Allah make the Quran the light of my heart, oh Allah make the Quran and intercessor for me, Oh Allah, use the Quran to guide me O Allah make Quran and evidence for me and not in
evidence against me. So and you can make any dua that you want, and you can make it in any language, and you can make it with anybody present of your family. And, and you know, friends there, or you can do it in private, whatever you want to do. All of this is something that is encouraged from the actions of the sahaba. And all of course, it's encouraged, it's not logic, the other thing that is encouraged, the other thing that is encouraged, it is reported in a hadith until MIDI, and the chain has a weakness in it, but the concept is there and there's no problem acting upon a weak Hadith that a man asked the Prophet Sall Allahu Allah, he was salam, O Messenger of Allah, what is the best of
all good deeds. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, and he looked well mortal. And what this means is that the one who's going on a journey, right, the one who goes on a journey, he stops for a while, and then he continues on. That's the meaning of the phrase. So the man said, What does this mean? Al Halliwell, Martha Hill, what do you mean? I don't understand. So the Prophet system said in this hadith and Timothy, that the person finishes reading the Quran until he comes to the end of it, and then he goes back to the beginning, okay, and he starts all over again. From this, and nowhere we and assuta and others they have extracted from this as Mr. Masood he said, you're
suing the federal government a hottie and you're sure if you have raw cable hartham, the Hadith Timothy that it is something that is good. And something that is recommended that when a person finishes one recitation that he then immediately begins from the beginning the second recitation all over again. So that there is the continuity that is done. So what this means is that when you finish reciting Surah NAS, right, you may make the DUA right then in there, or you may go back to the beginning of sleutel, baccarat and recite a few verses a page, and then make your DUA because the point is you want to demonstrate to Allah subhana wa taala, that you are going to continuously
recite this book. So when you get to the end of Surah NAS, you may make a DUA, and then before you leave that gathering, go back to the beginning, and then recite Fatiha and the beginning of Bukhara even if it's just five verses of Bacara, but the point is given that I've staked my next journey, and I'm going to continuously go on and on and on, and that's what I'll handle. Well, Martha, it means that once he gets to one destination, he then goes on, again, never stopping, because it demonstrates the continuity of our worship and arty law of the Quran. So these are two, these are two general recommendations about about what one should do when one finishes the Quran and the both
of them are recommendations, they are not obligations, and Allah azza wa jal knows best.
We have a question from Brother Mustafa from New Jersey. He emails that he has gotten a job at a particular company, which is further drive than where he currently as and his parents are not happy that he's going to be driving the extra distance. And his parents have asked him to not change his job. And now he is saying that he's having, you know, a guilty conscience. That is he obliged to listen to his parents, when they're asking for something that he feels this is a better move for his career. This job is his job as a dead end job right now. And this one seems to be giving better opportunities, better pay, but because there's a longer drive, obviously, the parental concern is
there that you know, another 20 minutes, whatever it might be, I don't know how long it is. So he's asking basically the question, and I'm choosing his question, but in reality, I have been bombarded with many questions of the
same genre, and that is, to what extent is it obligatory to listen to one's parents. And that's really what we're going to be discussing in this particular question.
Now, this question is a very difficult one. It's a very awkward one.
And the reality is that this question does require much longer and detailed scenarios. And there is no one right answer, there is no cookie cutter answer, you just take it, and you then apply it rather, there's a lot of variables. And the goal today is just to begin that dialogue and discussion and to make her start thinking a little bit more deeply in this regard. And I want to just begin by stating that the answers I'm talking about today, we're talking about adult children independent, you know, young men and women, we are not talking about teenagers still living under their parents roof. That's a different scenario altogether. We're not talking about young boys or young girls,
obviously, that's a different scenario, you have to obey just you know, until you are adult and whatnot. Now we're talking about financially independent, we're talking about fully Bollier, we're talking about, you know, a young man or woman or even middle aged man or woman, and your parents are obviously you know, always always going to be your parents. The question arises, to what extent is obedience obligatory? And what is obedience recommended but not obligatory? And what is obedience not even recommended? And when is obedience haram to one's parents, because here's the point, dear Muslims, that's all too often. And of course, we're all doing this, because that's what the Quran
does. We're supposed to do this all too often, we concentrate on the rights of the parents, and we should, and we must prioritize that. And we should mention, you know, genders under the feet of the mother, we should mention that Allah says in the Quran that, you know, treat your parents with a sun, don't say off to them, we should mention that, even if they try to force you to worship idols, as Allah says, In the Quran, don't obey them, that becomes haram to obey your parents in the Haram, your parents tell you to drink, your parents tell you to go do something haram, your parents told you to take interest, your parents told you to worship an idol. It is haram to listen to them. But
then Allah says, even if they try to force you to worship an idol, don't obey, but live with them with goodness, right? Try to be polite and good, even as they force you to commit should. So yes, it is very common to hear about the rights of the parents. And we are never going to stop doing that. But we rarely ever talk about the opposite, which is the sanity of the children. And again, by children. I don't mean teenagers, I mean, young adults or even older than that, you know, I mean, fully grown independent men and women who are now living their lives, and they have elderly parents, to what level must they obey the parents because all too often, and I'm getting I'm telling you as
somebody who my email is now known to everybody, and I get emails from all over the world, this is well known, we have a huge issue of parents who are abusing, emotionally, their children, children that are scarred from how their parents have treated them from the nastiness to the crudeness or the unjust pneus of their mother or father. And now, you know, they're just they're emailing me for some type of closure, or help and whatnot. And it's very important that we talk about this very bluntly. And the reality dear Muslims is that we have to take a step back and actually look at the Quranic terminology, the Quran does not use the term ba tool, wallet or TA tool while leader, the Quran uses
the term bear an heir son, when it talks about parents, the Quran uses be kind to them, and be nice to them. The Quran does not use the terminology of blind obedience. And that's because obedience is a different matter than kindness, okay, you can be kind without necessarily obeying everything that they say. And that's the point of the Quran here, that there is indeed an area where you're not obliged to listen to them. And there is an area where you cannot listen to them. And then there is an area where you are obliged to listen to them. And it's very important that we discuss this concept. And again, this is a spectrum. And where a particular request falls depends on a lot of
factors. And generally speaking, most requests of parents generally speaking, most requests of parents are going to fall in this gray area where it is better to listen to maybe even obligatory, maybe even close to obligatory, but sometimes some of the requests are simply not reasonable. And you don't have to obey it might even be Makrooh to obey or detrimental to obey your parents. And that's why we need to also be bold enough to come out and tell our young men and women that there are indeed there is a spectrum when it comes to the color
Hands that the parents do. And a lot of times this spectrum is relative, ie in some scenarios, this the parents request might be reasonable and obligatory, and in other scenarios, it might be unreasonable and not obligatory. So it is culture specific context specific family specific obligations specific if you are the only you know, child and you're the one taking care of your parents, you know, you're the one bread earning the bread winner and your parents are elderly without any income, it's very different than if you have mashallah seven siblings and your parents are healthy and young. And you know, so it each scenario has to be weighed. And I cannot give you
know a scientific equation that you can apply. Rather, I can talk about general guidelines, and then you with your relatives, and with is the Hata to Allah subhana wa Tada and with deep inspiration introspection, then decide what you think is that spectrum that I'm going to present to you. So generally speaking, generally speaking, dear Muslims, obedience to parents is obligatory. If what they are demanding from you to do is something that is permissible, not how long it is permissible, and that the benefit goes back to their own well being, the benefit has to be tangible to them, not back to you that they think they know your life better than you if the benefit goes back to them.
And the third condition that it is reasonable for you to fulfill that request, okay. These are the generally speaking the three main criteria number one, that they're asking you to do something that is halal. If they ask you worship other than Allah, there is no obedience if they ask you to go purchase alcohol, there is no obedience, right? Something that is halal, permissible, and most of the requests of the parents are within permissibility. That's condition one, condition two is the main point that also a lot of us have to, you know, think about. Why are they doing this? What is the point of them asking you is it because of something that is a tangible benefit to them, of their
well being. So for example, you are the only son, and you have a good career, a good income, and your parents are elderly, and you live within their vicinity. Now you get a job at mashallah Tabata Cola, great company, more salary, but it is five states away, it is, you know, five hours away by plane and your parents are elderly. And there's nobody really to take care of them in terms of being in the vicinity, right, and you have a job in Korea, and it's not as if you're starving. Now here your parents say if you leave us who's going to take care of us, right? In this case, in this case, if you cannot take care of them in a legitimate matter, or you find another relative or something,
then really their request is obligatory if you are the only source of you know their protection. Now in this case, you give up a fancier career, and you have a legitimate career, and you expect Allah to reward you, because they're asking you something that is of tangible benefit to them. If they're elderly, and they don't have anybody else. And you're the only son, I'm giving a lot of ifs here, right? The point is, in this case, their request is extremely reasonable. And anybody can understand why they would want this. Okay? So this is why we're saying it must be of tangible benefit to them. If it is not of tangible benefit, if it is something that is intangible, something that is not a
direct. So for example, what will people say if my son, I'm a doctor, and I want you to be a doctor, and you're like, I'm not good in biology? You know, by the way, I'm not good in biology. I know who's I didn't. I'm not I like chemistry. I like engineering like mathematics. That's why I don't think I could ever be a medical doctor. I'm just not interested in human biology, right? hamdulillah AC my classes in
chemistry and whatnot. If I'm just saying it wasn't my case, if my parents had told me, you have to be a doctor, right? I honestly think I would not have been able to that because I don't like biology, I would have failed biology. How can I excel in a field that I'm not interested in? And to have a whole career in something that I'm not interested in? It's and for what reason I'm saying giving an example. Just because you know, low kaki hanging right, what will people say we are doctors, our children have to be doctors as well. And there's no tangible benefit. It is a matter of prestige of air of you know,
to our call talking, summa, it's called as it's called an Arabic that's not a tangible benefit. That's something that is frankly egotistical. Your parents do not have the Islamic obligation to choose your career for you. Yes, they have the obligation to you know, try to educate you port force you to do some career. They don't want you to be a lazy bum fully agreed. They're supposed to be, you know, pushing you to do something useful. But in the end of the day, if they say I'm gonna give you a hypothetical example, if the father says, I don't want you to be,
let's say, an architect, let's just say I'm gonna just give it to that example. He says I
think it's not befitting that, you know, you become an architect become an engineer. And for example, you don't like mathematics and you love drawing, and you're great at what you're doing. You just cannot do partial differential equations, right? Is it obligatory on you to listen to your father who has an unreasonable demand, like why doesn't he want you to architecture? What will people say that my son didn't do? The career that I thought was the prestigious career? This is not a tangible benefit, right? And you know what is best? The same goes for the scenario you have given me that you didn't tell me the exact reality but I'm assuming this New Jersey, a few extra Tollway
stuck in traffic New Jersey, right. Everybody knows that. The Tollway and the traffic along with that. I don't know how you guys do it. But anyway, so you're sitting in traffic for you know, 45 minutes extra, whatever. And obviously, understandably, your mother feels pain, oh, my God, my son is going to be sitting in the cold weather in the Senate. Okay, fair enough. And she has every right to feel that pain. Are you obliged to give up a better career and a better opportunity, simply because your parents feel sorry that you're gonna have to sit in the traffic, right? It's your life at the end of the day? Yes, you owe a lot to your parents. But are you obliged? In the sense will
Allah punish you for choosing another you know, path or career, this is where we say the second condition is that the benefit must be back on the parents that is tangible, that is common sense, and not, you know, some type of benefit that is intangible or no benefit at all. And the classic example for this is when it comes to the son in law and daughter in law issues Subhanallah we have explicit statements of our greatest or lemma that must I listen to my mother, if she tells me to divorce my wife, because dear Muslims in law issues that are universal, every single you know, in law has tensions. This is the reality of human society, right? That every mother is going to think
that this girl that my son married, it's not good enough, my son is better than this girl, and she's gonna have issues with her daughter in law, even though 30 years ago, she was the daughter in law, and her own mother in law gave her problems. And she promised herself when I become the mother in law, I'm never going to do and then it's human nature. Her son gets older, her son has her prince and her king in her eyes. And then Well, whoever he marries, that's not going to and the same goes father in law, isn't that the same gender? I'm not I'm not using the gender here. Both genders are the same, right? It's going to be the reality like the father in law is not happy with the son in
law like this, this boy is not good enough for my daughter, right? Imagine, imagine if we open this door. And we said it is obligatory to listen to your mother, if she says, divorce your wife, or I think that 90% of the marriages, if we said this, and that's why our scholars you see, again, this is you have to again, I'm sorry to bring this up all the time, we have a crisis of superficial literalism, amongst the minor students of knowledge is just listen to one thing and that thing has no filter is much more advanced than just you know, one liners. Yes, obedience to parents is very good, but it is not unconditionally obligatory. No scholar ever said this. No scholar ever said
this, the famous Jeffrey's called him in the click on the read. He said, It is not obligatory for the children to listen to the adults in each and every matter that they ask of him. And this is by Iijima of all of the scholars of Islam is not obligatory unconditionally, there are conditions to make it obligatory. And even Taymiyah says that it is obligatory, to obey the parents, if three things are met. Number one, they command something that is not a sin. Number two, there is benefit for them in that command, a number three that the child can do it without undue harm or hardship to himself or herself. And these are the three conditions that I'm going over, right. And the famous
Malik is called Al Qadhafi, said that just like the, the child cannot irritate or harm the mother or father, so to the mother or father should not harm or irritate or do something harmful, basically, to their children. So it's a two way street here. And if the parents ask something that is unreasonable, and there's no tangible benefit, right, the Father, for example, give you some example. He doesn't like a company because of whatever dealings that he had, right? And he says, No, I don't want you to work for that company. Because 10 years ago, we had a contract with them and they didn't do justice. We're not okay, he has a personal vendetta. Fair enough. But is it right for
him to expect his son to not have a career in another company just because he doesn't have like the company or doesn't like the career? No, it's not obligatory. Now. Here's the question back though. Suppose the sun listened. Suppose the sun obeyed. I would say they would get extra reward from Allah and Allah will bless them and they made the better decision. But Allah will say this, the general rule, if you can listen, then listen, and put your trust in Allah and Allah will give you better, but I'm saying it's not obligatory. So please understand my nuance here. Right. Suppose your mother's day
Can you please don't sit in traffic for 20 extra minutes, please, my heart is going to ache. You know what? If you're giving up an extra $1,000 a month for the sake of your mother's heart, I would say do it. But if you insisted, and you said, You know what, I need the money, you don't have to pay from our schools tuition. And my mother's request is unreasonable. I will tell you, you are not sinful. See, that's that gray area here, right? Do it and expect Allah's reward and expect Allah to give you more, but it is not obligatory, because your mother is not being reasonable. She's not saying something that is tangible. It's just an emotion that we understand it. But it's not
something that you have to obey. So this is the second condition, that the commandment that they have is a tangible benefit to them, they cannot dictate, they walk into your house, and they say, Oh, we don't like your furniture is yellow, change it to blue, okay. If you if you were to open this door, you will destroy relationships, it doesn't work that way. You cannot just ask something unreasonable, and then expect the child to be listening to every single matter that any time that just because a father or a mother opens their mouth, it does not become obligatory in each and every issue. There must be as we said, number one, no sin number two, an element of reasonability. Now,
again, I say, suppose your mother said I don't like yellow, change it to blue. And you said how they're similar. Now well Darn it, and you listen to her, I will tell you, Allah insha, Allah will bless you for that, and Allah will reward you, and Allah will give you more, and Allah azza wa jal will show you the beauty of obeying your parents. But the question is, are you sinful for saying, Dear Mother, I just purchased all of this. And I know you don't like the color, but you know, my wife likes it. My kids like it, we're fine with it. Are you sinful for saying no? And I'm saying no, you're not. But even when you say no, or you have to turn them down, do so with the utmost kindness
and the utmost love. You do not have to obey each and every commandment, but you are never ever allowed to be rude to your mother and father, do you understand this point here? You're never ever allowed to be nasty and mean? Even if you say, I shouldn't even say no, even if you turn down their request, do so in a simple manner. Like your mother says, I don't want you to sit in traffic, say, Don't worry. I'm going to listen to Quran. That's it. You see, you kind of you know, you took it somewhere else. Don't worry, I'll make dua for you all the time. I'll think of you every time I'm stuck in traffic on the extra two hour free, right? You don't say? Why do you care? No, you don't be
mean or nasty. Even as you turn down that request, you do so in a gentle and loving manner, and you will not be sinful in the eyes of Allah. The third thing as we said, it must be reasonable. So that again, there's three conditions, number one, that they're commanding you something that is not a sin. Number two, that they're commanding you something that is of a reasonable tangible benefit to them, and not something abstract, change the color of your furniture, right? You know, don't choose that company, because 20 years ago, you know, this happened, something that is of benefit to them. And then point number three, something that is not harmful to you. So simple example, you are now a
young man or young woman, you know, you're having a career, you know, as a young man, you got married, you have children, and your parents are relatively, you know, well off or whatnot. And your parents say, Hey, give us half of your salary. You're like, I'm just starting my career, you don't need you know, a mother, you have your you have your house, I mean, I understand you need to help, I'll help you with the groceries, you know, you'll get X percent, but half my salary, I have children, I can't live. So now this is unreasonable demand right? Now, again, we're assuming that the parents have, if they're not having food, by the way, then all of you have to eat the same
amount together, right? Young man who just got married and has kids, you have to take care of your wife, and your children and your parents, all of them. If you only have one bread, all of them are gonna get one portion of that bread, you're not going to starve any one of them because of the other. You have to treat all of them in a manner that is equitable. It is your obligation if nobody else is there, that you have to take care of all of them. But suppose there's other people suppose you have other siblings, suppose they have their savings. Now your primary obligation obligation is your wife and children. That's your immediate obligation. And if your parents demand, what is
unreasonable, right, even if it is of tangible benefits, so again, the first two conditions are met, right? It's not haram for them to ask you if their wealth, it is something that they're going to do at some age stage of their lives usually, and it is a benefit to them. But now it must be without harm to you. And if you're going to be severely harmed now, here we have to say what is severe harm, it goes back to again, your conscience, your status, the culture of the time, the time, the circumstances if you have mashallah five or six brothers or sisters, and you're the only one you know that is being demanded. Well, that's not fair is it is really not fair. And yeah, you know, the
same goes if they have plenty of savings, and they're just being mean and nasty. That's not fair either. But if
They don't have any wealth and you know you are the only child well, then things do change and as I said, this is context based. So, as long as it is not unreasonable and extreme harmful to you, and it is a benefit to them and it is in the permissible, then it is obligatory wajib you must obey, if I any of these conditions, especially with the last two are not met, if it is not a tangible benefit, or it is an extreme inconvenience to you, and only you, then in this case, if you listen to them, You shall be rewarded by Allah. Even in this case, you shall be rewarded, and you should try your best to do so, and expect Allah to give you something better than what you gave up. But in case
you decide you don't for whatever reason, then sidetrack their demand in a gentle manner in a polite manner and make it up to them in another manner to demonstrate that you are a loving child, right? Because in the end of the day, remember a dear Muslim, that the pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala will be found in your attempt to please your parents, okay, in your attempt to please your parents, not in your parents being unreasonable. We're not in your attempt to please your parents. So if you try to please your parents to the best of your ability, and Allah knows your sincerity and trying that inshallah to Allah, you will be pleasing Allah gentle deja vu, I hope that inshallah this
answers this this difficult question and again, to reiterate, your brothers and sisters is not an easy cut and paste answer. It requires a lot of soul searching, a lot of internal conscience, a lot of balancing between, you know, context and community and also, each family is different. But my point is that you should be aware there is indeed a spectrum and it is not something that is obligatory to listen to every unreasonable request. Try your best to obey your parents to the maximum that you can and expect Allah to reward you for every obedience that you can do that is permissible. If in case you're not able to then as we said sidetrack the response in a very gentle
and loving manner. Allah subhanho wa Taala bless all of us to be righteous children, and inshallah we'll continue next week. Just like Malachy said, I'm watching Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh in
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