Yasir Qadhi – How Do I Make Up To People I Have Wronged In My Youth? – Ask Shaykh YQ #167

			We have a question from Pakistan nasira emails and says that she is now an elderly lady. In her 60s,
she says, and she says that she looks back at her life and feels that she has wronged specific
people in her youth. She has memories that she's done things she should not have done. But those
people are no longer a part of her life. She has repented for the wrong, but she doesn't know where
they are, she cannot locate them. She doesn't know their current status. So the question is, how can
I make up for the wrongs that I have done to people that are no longer a part of my life? Okay. One
		

			out of seven,
		

			poverty in Asia? No, he him first.
		

			Larry King,
		

			you know, this is again, a very, very good question. It shows inshallah, to Allah, that our sister
is
		

			genuinely repenting to Allah, she is feeling guilty about, you know, whatever she has done, we do
not know. But again, the point is, is generic for all of us, you know, we've all done things to
people that we should not have done. And some of those people are still in our lives, and some of
them are no longer in our lives, either through death, or in this case, literally has been, what,
3040 years, and she has no clue where they are, she might have said something or done something
we've all you know, been in there. So now she is asking what can be done? And this is a very good
question. And in fact, it shows us you know, sincere desire, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
		

			said, that men can are in the home of lemma to see whoever has done bounnam to his brother, okay,
whether it is from his honor, or whether it is by taking his property that he should not have done
failure to Hillel, who let him resolve that volume, before the day will come, when there shall be no
golden silver, but rather, there shall only be good deeds, and the good deeds will be given in
accordance with the amount of volume that he has done. And so the person will continue to give his
good deeds and if he runs out of good deeds, then the other person's bad deeds will be transferred
to the first person, it is in Bahati and Muslim. This is a very terrifying Hadith, because what it
		

			shows, what it shows is that on the Day of Judgment, on the day of judgment, those people that have
done wrong, they shall be held accountable by Allah subhana wa Taala. And they will have to make up
for the wrongs that they have done. And that's why a prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Get
rid of any wrongdoings make them Helen, in this world before the next world. So every single one of
us should think long and hard, who have I unintentionally hurt? Who Have I done something to that
they might be able to say something on the day of judgment against me. And once that person comes to
her mind, if they're in our lives, they're still alive, we should go to them. Now what can we do if
		

			we go to them? The best thing to do and the safest thing to do is to literally come up to them and
apologize and say, my dearest brother or sister in Islam, I did something I shouldn't have done, you
know, can you forgive me? For the sake of Allah? And Allah would reward you for that forgiveness,
okay? And that's the ideal. And if he does this, and of course, why should the other brother do it?
Because he wants a loss reward. So when he forgives, Allah will forgive him when he forgives, and he
might put a condition I mean, if he knows what he's done, he might put a cleaner say, look, you
know, you said some things about me, you need to go and correct what you said, or you, you know, did
		

			this and that. So he might put a reasonable condition and then you know, you should fulfill that
condition if it is reasonable. And, and pertinent to what you have done. If you have direct access.
Our sister says, she no longer has access, what do you do another scenario, you might have access,
but the person doesn't know. And if you were to inform the person, it would actually be even more
problematic. And it would bring a whole scenario of Oh my God, why did you do this and this and it
might even make situation worse. Suppose few years have passed, and you said something that was
backbiting and you shouldn't have done that right? And or something worse, even and the person
		

			doesn't know and things are fine. If you were to go tell them you are worried your friendship, your
brotherhood and sisterhood will be broken. And you want to make up both of these scenarios, right?
Number one, you don't know the person where he is. And number two, you don't want to inform the
person because they're going to make matters worse, there are a number of things that you can do.
		

			First thing you can do is you guesstimate guesstimate, a monetary value for the penalty that you
have done. Okay? guesstimate
		

			monetary value for the damage that you have done, given the gravity of your crime, and also the
amount of money that you have, because the person who has a million dollars and the person who has
$10,000, it's not the same, if they give $100 each, right, you know, what's gonna pinch you, that's
going to be equivalent to the amount of harm that you've done. So given the harm that you've done,
and given your socio economic status, okay, put the two together and make in your own mind, because
you have to answer to Allah is something you are being you're being your own judge and jury and
executioner in this regard, you have to give enough such that you can say to a lot in a clear
		

			conscience on the Day of Judgment, or a lot, I did such and such. And I know I did wrong, you know,
so I have given you know, $100 sadhaka, for the reward to go to him, so that I'm not going to get
the $100. But the harm that I have done is going to be equalized by this $100. Right. Now, again,
you will set the price, because, you know, in your own mind, roughly making a value like you know, I
think this much has sent out of $100 will be worth the damage of might say yeah, three, so then
you've counterbalanced it and then you and then you will give that charity, that's one thing that
you can do. Another thing Oh, by the way, this is by the way, assuming that you have backbiting
		

			backbiting him or something, if you have actually stolen some money, or you have something in your
possession that you should not have, in this case, you must get rid of it. It's not yours, you took
it incorrectly, and you give it to charity. So that's another thing that if you are physically in
possession of an item on ownership of an item through loom, then you need to get rid of that item
because it is not yours, and expect the reward to go to the person but you still have to do more
because you that's not your item in the first place. You took it if I'm just giving an example. So
the next thing you do, he said you give a financial penalty on top of if you have that item, you
		

			know, get rid of it for charity, you have to give your own charity from your wealth. Now pinch
yourself that hey, I shouldn't have done that. And this is for his sake. That's the second thing you
can do. The third thing you can do is to make dua for that person. Okay? Make dua for that person,
raise your hands up to Allah subhana wa tada and say, Oh Allah, bless him with more money, Oh ALLAH
forgive his sins, Oh Allah give him good, you know, family, whatever it might be. And continue to
make dua until you feel that you have done enough to make up for the harm that you did. And once
again, you will yourself will be judge, jury and executioner Okay, you will take into account
		

			yourself how much damage you've done, and then say you know what, that means I should make you know,
at least 50 times to offer him Okay, so whatever I've done at least 50 times I'm going to raise my
hands and by name thinking of him and make draw sincerely so that on the Day of Judgment, you know,
this person will come and he will see the wrong that you've done and he will see all of the draw and
your dog will be more than the wrong he can't say anything. He cannot say anything. There's a look
he has made up you know, in the eyes of Allah subhanahu wa Tada. And then the last thing that you
can do is sincerely sincerely Raise your hands to Allah and ask His forgiveness as well. Because you
		

			have also wronged yourself in the eyes of Allah by doing something you should not have done. So if
you are sincere, and you genuinely turn to Allah for forgiveness, right? And you have returned an
item or given it away that you took unjustly and you give financial penalty that you think is
enough, and you make dua for the person, then insha Allah who tada all of this put together in sha
Allah tada will free you from any liability on the Day of Judgment, if you are sincere and Allah
subhana wa tada knows best.