Yasir Qadhi – Ask Shaykh YQ #65

			A sister emails that during this crisis from her mother has her father has passed away. We asked her
best friends that is the Granton for those who don't either. So she's asking what are the Islamic
rulings for mourning for observing, basically, the, the etiquettes of death, and especially for the
widow for the woman when her husband dies, is it allowed for her mother to leave her house and to
move in with the daughter, or mushy stay in the house where she lived in with, with basically her
father, but now there's nobody there. So the question is about the Islamic rules of mourning
overall, and especially for widows when their husbands passed away.
		

			COVID he came in
		

			he him first, blue, Lake Erie.
		

			The response to this question is that well, before we get to the fifth or the legal aspect, I think
also, it's important for us to give some generic advice because panela so many people, especially in
this crisis, they're they're passing away. And not only this, but when a person passes away,
generally speaking, the family has not prepared the family does not know what to do. And this is a
knowledge that is essential and necessary for every single Muslim. And unfortunately, all too often
we don't study or learn and then when it happens, we don't know what to do. And so this small mini
question, I'll take it as an opportunity to remind ourselves of some of the aspects that we need to
		

			do when somebody passes away. And also by the way, if somebody that you know, the relative is passed
away, you can forward them this link as well. So then inshallah they can get some idea of what our
religion says. Obviously there's faith based aspects as well Eman based, and the most important of
these is what is called an Arabic or rainbow because Allah acceptance of the color of Allah subhana
wa tada sober and being patient and acceptance here. What does it mean? When we say we accept a
quarter of a lot? What it means is that we acknowledge that death is inevitable, we acknowledge that
Allah subhanho wa Taala has decreed it, we acknowledge that he is the robber and he has the right to
		

			decree and I don't have the right to intervene. We might not understand the wisdom of a law, but we
need to trust the wisdom of Allah, not understanding is permissible, but not trusting is not
permissible. We must trust the decision. We must trust the judgment, even if we don't understand
Allah subhanho wa Taala knows and we do not know and of the essence of faith is to submit to the
other of Allah subhana wa Tada. Allah says in the Quran, law use our home use alone, none can ask a
law what he does, rather we will be asked about what we do. So when somebody passes away, there must
be a level of inadi law who are innately who are drawn to Allah, we belong into him, we shall
		

			return. There is not a problem, obviously to cry to feel sad. This is something that is absolutely
normal. And in fact, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he, his son passed away but on him, and
he was crying in front of the Sahaba. And they said, Yes, we're allowed to cry. And he said, Yes,
crying is a mercy that a lot places in the hearts of the believers. And when he visited the cover of
Amina his mother, Amina, when he visited the grave of his mother, he cried so much that he was
sobbing in front of the grave, and the Sahaba out of love for Him, they began sobbing as well. And
they said his his his beard became wet with his tears. So being accepting of each other does not
		

			mean you're not going to be sad, nobody's happy at the death of a loved one. What it means is that
psychologically, you understand that this life was not mine to own it is a loss of life, that the
life that Allah xojo blessed to in this world, Allah has the right to take it away, and Allah
chooses when to take it away. When Makana enough sin and tumwater Ellerbee is Neela Nikita Marcela,
no soul shall die, except at a loss permission. It is something that is predetermined in a book,
nothing that you could have done or didn't do, nothing that you should have done or didn't do,
nothing can change the time that allows other had come in and allies origin has predetermined the
		

			other the time of death of every single one of us and so what other what a robot what acceptance
means is that at some level, we will understand and we will accept that Allah has the right to do as
he pleases. If somebody is hurt, if somebody is grieved, if somebody is crying, if somebody is sad,
this is the essence of Rama and compassion, there is nothing whatsoever on Islamic in fact it is
natural and if somebody does not demonstrate that then perhaps said something is not regular in this
in this situation because to feel sad and grief is a part of Islam, our Prophet sallallahu our
		

			Adam said when Abraham passed away, he said we are saddened Abraham at your loss. But we shall only
say what Allah is pleased with in 90 law he was neither he or her own. And always remember this
hadith which is inside Buhari, that once the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam passed by a lady
who was sitting at a graveyard, and she was crying, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said
to her, be conscious of a lot, and be patient, be patient. He's trying to give her words of
encouragement, trying to console her, and she was so grieved and so distressed, she said, Get away
from me, you do not know the calamity that has been fallen unto me, she didn't recognize because she
		

			was grieved. And so the prophet SAW the loss and continued walking away, somebody came up to her
said, Do not know who he was, he was the Prophet sallallahu sallam. And so she stood up, and she
rushed to the gathering. And she, the report says, It was as if she herself had died, when she
realized whom she had said that it was as if she herself had died. So she came up to the Prophet
salallahu it he was setting them and she said, almost drove a lot. I'm so sorry, I didn't recognize
you. So he's trying to excuse herself and of course, ended the process of forgive her, but he gave a
phrase here, and I want every one of you to remember this phrase. I want every one of you to
		

			remember this phrase, memorize it, what did our Prophet sallallahu wasallam say, in nama sobre in
the southern metal oola the truly patience is manifested at the first stroke of a calamity. One can
you really tell when your patient how and when his patients manifested, the day after somebody
passes away a week after your loved one passes away a year after you know your parent passes away,
you can demonstrate patience everybody does. But as soon as you hear the news, what happens in the
immediate aftermath when the shock when the emotions are still raw. If you can maintain sobriety at
that point in time, then you have demonstrated to Allah subhana wa tada that you have truly believed
		

			in a laws other than again, what is sober, sober means you act in a dignified manner in a
theologically conscious matter. sobra means that you control your limbs you control doing things
that are an Islamic and of the things that are an Islamic there are many things that are an Islamic
of them is wailing out loud, and what is wailing out loud wailing is not crying with the voice. No,
that's not that you can cry with the voice You can cry some people saw the prophet SAW himself was
sobbing when he was in front of the cover of his mother Amina willing, who means when we read in the
Hadith that Islam forbids wailing wailing means to raise your voice with phrases that are
		

			theologically highly problematic. For example, the phrase that how am I going to live you know,
after you I will not be able to survive, you know, we have no hope without you. And you are it is as
if you are creating a godlike figure in the person that has passed away. What do you mean how are
you going to live after this person he didn't take care of you Allah did a lot took care of him and
you so the one who took care of you when this person was alive, will continue to take care of you
when your loved one has passed away. So wailing means to say theologically, indecent things that
goes against a law xojo being the ROB also of the things that some traditions they still do to this
		

			day, some non some religions other than Islam, when somebody passes away, so they tear something of
their garment to demonstrate that they are sad, and they were torn garments for maybe a week or two
and the shady I came in forbade that it is not allowed to tear our garments. Also, in some
traditions, they shave their head or they even pull it out or they may go bald in some other non
obviously, other traditions other than Islam. And in our tradition, we're not allowed to do that
we're not allowed to go to that level. And the point is that we don't do things that are of an
undignified nature like, like flailing around and breaking things and yelling and screaming. This is
		

			not befitting the dignity of a Muslim death is an inevitable reality no matter how painful it is.
Deep down inside there must be okay. Allah knows best and again, I keep on reiterating a natural
sadness being overcome with grief, totally permissible. It's a sign of being human versus acting in
an unbecoming manner. That is what is not allowed our prophets Allah la hora Sena was standing in
the masjid when jabril came and told him that they even had it That was his remember the adopted son
story that aids story that the professor initially adopted him and then Islam came in forbade that
type of adoption, that what is called to Benny Wednesday, and he Oh, there was obviously a great
		

			love when they even had ether, was killed in the bottle of water. jabril came in informed the
Prophet sallallahu I sent him out. He said, I saw him from my room. I saw him in the messenger and
grief over took him and he had to sit down. So how to look Can you imagine how much the grief was
that he had to sit down so it's not a problem to damage
		

			Straight your sadness, it's something all of this is of the permissible issues. Also, we have to
learn the law when somebody passes away the law of any tragedy, not just somebody passing away
Tomasello has said that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that any time a Muslim is
afflicted with the tragedy, and then he says in the law he went in a Li Hua Roger on a long journey
he will see but the walk lawfully higher a minha Oh Allah reward me in this calamity and substitute
for me something better than this calamity or miss oedema said.
		

			Anytime somebody says this, Allah subhana wa tada will substitute something better than that
calamity. So whatever disaster happens to you, whatever pain happens to you remember this drop, and
insha Allah to Allah, you will get more happiness in the near future than the pain that was caused.
And Allah will bring about a joy that is bigger than the grief that was caused because of this law.
So memorize this in the law, he were in a les Roger on a llama journey. We'll see. But he was
lovely. Hi, Ron minha. So this is a drive that we should all memorize as well, when somebody passes
away. And for any tragedy, actually, also of the things that we should do when somebody passes away
		

			of our extended family, or even of our friends, is that we should console the bereaved. And this is
called Tasmania to make it in Arabic is called to console the family of the one who has passed away.
And the ties here is obviously proportional to our strength to the person's family who passed away.
Obviously, the idea to a brother's family is much stronger than to basically an acquaintance, for
example, but each one has a house over us. And it is a part of our soon enough to give condolences
and to give ties. And if we have that relationship, we should even visit the family of the deceased,
our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam when his cousin Jafar passed away, he visited the house of
		

			Jaffa, and he spoke to the widow of Jaffa and he calmed her down and he encouraged her and he took
the children of Jaffa who are now orphans, and he hugged them and he put his hand over their heads
and he made dua for them. So he himself visited the house of his cousin, a Jafar, who died to shade
in the same battle as Zaid and he consoled them. And this shows us that it is soon enough to visit
the houses of the deceased, especially if they are close relatives. Now, a point here that you
should just be aware of that some of the methods have expressed minor disapproval to prolong this
visit, or to sit down. They say Judo, Judas and the ties here. And the point here is to make it
		

			something that is a ritual, and you have even some handful of scholars, and even some of the Sahaba,
who said that this might be a type of innovation, because it resemble some of the practices of other
faith traditions. However, there are other positions as well. And oh, the opinions is that the
overall concept of visiting the family of the deceased, it is permissible, as long as the culture
and the context make it permissible, there's no religion that is non Islamic, there is no. So again,
you need to understand that in other faith traditions, there were certain rituals that would take
place when foreigners came into the house, when strangers I mean, when non family came, and it is as
		

			if some of the early Sahaba they didn't want to return to that paganistic issue. But other scholars
like even hijab like some other scholars, they said, you know, those traditions that seem to dislike
or disapprove of sitting in the house of the deceased, it is because of those pagan practices. And
if those pagan practices are unknown, and not being commemorated, then inshallah tada there's no
problem to just in the culturally normal manner. This varies from culture to culture, in some
cultures, you know, if you're a close relative, you will sit there the whole day. And if you're a
distant you know, friend, you will just go for five minutes and go, it depends on culture to
		

			culture, and this inshallah tada is the correct opinion that we should not make a bigger deal about
this. Your culture is wherever you are in the world, you have a certain procedure, a methodology of
how you visit the family of the deceased and as long as there's no you know, rituals that are being
done that are on Islamic and they're in shallow Tada, just to visit the the house and to express
condolences. Now, how our condolences expressed a number of things First and foremost, you mentioned
the deceased in a good way, how a prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that once a person passes
away, then only good should be mentioned of the person. Don't think don't mention anything bad only
		

			mentioned good things and remember and only make dua for the deceased as well. And you can also make
and you should make to offer the living that Allah subhanho wa Taala gives them patience and sober
and increases their agenda. So of the two hours of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam of Allah jerky
that May Allah increase speaking to a woman and this hadith May Allah increase your agenda, May
Allah give you more reward for the patience that you're displaying at the death of a loved one. And
you can also you know, make generic dwad that may Allah grant him a place in general for those May
Allah make his grave a vast place. The point of the visit should be to demonstrate that you know,
		

			the loss that you suffered
		

			Frank also I feel it, and I'm here for you, whatever I can do. So this is a part of our religion, it
is what our Prophet sallallahu wasallam did as well when he visited the house of Jaffa rhodiola
Juan, also, he himself ordered that food be gifted to the house of Jaffa, he told our mothers, he
told his wives, he said that prepare some food and send it to the house of Jaffa. Because they are
busy right now they're they're not going to be cooking food. So especially the close family and
friends and you know who you are in this case, I mean, obviously, if you're an acquaintance is not
the same thing. But if you're close family and friends, and somebody has passed away, let's say and
		

			your cousin has passed away, you know, your uncle's families or somebody who's passed away. So
obviously, that immediate family, they're in great tragedy, the last thing on their minds is going
to be the daily chores and routines. So you should take charge and do whatever you can, if some
bills need to be paid to some grocery needs to be done something that you know that they're going to
need, so give some food to them. This is also a part of our religion, and our Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wa sallam did that as well. And of course, when it comes to the theological issues, as well,
of the things that should be done, is to do good deeds on behalf of the deceased. And I've given an
		

			entire lecture, the final lecture I gave on the bedrock series, you can look them up, and in that I
discussed the issue of reciting Quran for the dead and the controversy over that so you can go back
to that lecture, but overall the concept of gifting good deeds to the dead, this is something that
is authentically narrated from the sooner which good deeds and how and when you can go back to that
lecture and I went into it in more detail now all of this is the other aspect good enough. Let's get
now to the legal aspect the specific legal issues about what is to be done when somebody passes away
and leaves behind. Basically the the wife is left behind after her husband passes away. And this is
		

			in Arabic is called determine the period of Hey, Dad with the hat Hey, Dad. And this is different
than the dead by the way, meaning that the Hey dad is the type of leader that takes place for
multiple times it takes place when a divorce occurs. Other things we're not talking about those it
does today. Today, we're talking about the ADA that takes place when the husband dies, and the wife
remains basically alive. So she becomes a widow. So the widows is called Hey, Dad, it's a special
type of death. This is the one we're talking about. There are other types of either that's not the
topic of today. And this concept of Hey dad. It is mentioned in the Quran explicitly inserted bacara
		

			inserted Bukhara Allah subhana wa tada says, In verse 24, will lead you to a fundamental model known
as weijun, that that those who die and they leave behind their wives. Eliza just said the boss never
foreseen out of backlash who didn't wash raw, they should wait concerning themselves for months and
10 days. This is very explicit in the Koran. Those of you who die and leave behind their wives,
their wives must wait for months and 10 days this is explicit in the Koran that they must wait What
was that? What does it mean they must wait, this is the hated period and the Hadith in Sahih Muslim
as well, that the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said that no lady should perform Hey Dad, I will
		

			explain what it is no lady should perform Hey dad over any person who dies for more than three days,
except for her husband, for her husband, she will perform for four months and 10 days. During this
time, this is the Heidi during this time, she should not wear dyed garments, except for simple
garments, see, she should not put on corporal which is the eye The antimony that is used, and she
should not put on any perfume except that when she does rehearsal, you know, after the monthly cycle
she may use and to the process of said the basic types of perfume that was used at that point. You
can call it the basic soaps that were used at that time. Now this hadith is very explicit. What is
		

			it saying? It is saying? No person, no lady in particular. And that is because men did not do
		

			that because men have to go to their daily routine and move on. They're not the ones typically that
you know go into a state of mourning it is the women that used to do it in the days of jelenia. And
Islam allowed them to do certain things they restricted and allowed in a certain manner. So he that
is not done by men, he that is permitted for women. So what is permitted for women as we're going to
mention in some cases and wajib and other cases. So what is headed headed is that a woman leaves the
extra beautification that she would typically do, of wearing nicer garments of wearing her makeup or
putting on her perfume. And so she abandons the the better luxuries of life in order to demonstrate
		

			grief visibly in her lifestyle. Now, in the days of jelenia, her dad was done by all the women of
the household for a long period of time. And by the way to this day, certain things
		

			cultures and certain faith traditions, including the advocate of faith tradition that has a lot of
laws, they also have very strict laws to this day about, you know, what women cannot do and what
not. So our shediac came and lifted a lot of these legislations, and what it said was the following.
		

			If a person passes away,
		

			Lady related to a lady that is not her husband, so her father, her brother, if anybody passes away
in the lady's household, that is not her husband, she may choose to demonstrate her sadness and
grief, and to sort of like abandon the the niceties of the luxuries, you know, of lifestyles for
three days. And, you know, it's just been a shock for a while. So she's not gonna, you know, take
care of herself that well, she'll just wear the, you know, the simplest garments and whatnot. But
after three days, she has to just force herself like, That's it, I'm going to get out of this, I'm
going to now get back to the normal routine. And it is authentically narrated that one of the wives
		

			of a prophet so I sent him she lost a brother of hers, this is after the process and passed away,
she lost a brother of hers. And then on the fourth day, after the death of her brother, she called
for some, you know, a couple and whatnot to be perfectly to put on and she said, I have no desire to
do this, I don't want to meaning I'm so sad at the loss of my brother, but our prophets, Allah said
him said, it is not allowed to perform his dad for more than three days. So I am basically forcing
myself to you know, get back in and this is of handle a good psychological blessing from our
religion that for three days, a lady is allowed to, you know, just absorb the shock, take some time,
		

			but on the fourth day, she just needs to collect her wits just needs to just whatever you know,
power she's able to do. And he called upon a lawyer how to patella Bella, and just make dua to
Allah, let's just move on from now on and kind of force herself to get back into the game because
there's no point just living in that bubble of, of, you know, anger or hurt or depression, what's
that going to do? So that's why the Sherry allows that grace period of three days. Now, this is an
option, it is not obligatory, if she's able to, neither is it recommended, nor is it mcru. It's just
there, it's completely neutral, if a lady wishes to opt in, and she wants to just let that shock you
		

			know, take its toll on her no problem for three days, you know, eating minimal and just ended
wearing the simplest and not really taking care of her hygiene, you know, what, three days okay, but
after the third day, she needs to just get out of that phase and just, you know, force herself by
Allah's blessings that Allah has power just to get back in. So, this is the option No, again, those
three days are neither obligatory nor necessarily recommended normal crew it is just an option if
she is able to maintain her lifestyle completely no problem with that at all. Now, this is for any
relative other than the husband, okay, what if the husband passes away, this is where we get to the
		

			special ruling which is well known in our religion and our culture as well. And that is the the
depth of the lay the widow of the widow on this call the headed of the widowed lady. So, in this
case, as we said, it is not three days it is four months and 10 days. And in this case, it is not
something that is permissible, it is something that is obligatory meaning any it is wajib in the
generic sense. And again, the issue comes here, why Jim has different levels. So praying five times
a day is watching, okay, and observing the hidin is watching. But the level of YouTube is nowhere
near the issue of five prayers, but it is still something that needs to be done. And it needs to be
		

			observed. Now, here we get a lot of questions from our brothers and sisters, especially our sisters.
Why is this done? After all, there's no doubt for the man. Why, what is the wisdom behind the Hadith
of the ladies. And you know, I have answered this question generically in multiple fatwas. And my
personal philosophy is that it is a mistake to emphasize the wisdoms. Why, because the goal, the
goal of the Sharia is, in this case might not be known to us, it might not be understood, but it
still must be done, even if we don't understand the wisdom. In other words, suppose that I say
there's a wisdom that is such and such a lady says, Well, okay, but it doesn't apply to me, will the
		

			ruling apply? Yes or No, it will apply. So then, what is the point of saying the wisdom is this and
that when we don't know Allah did not specify a wisdom. And of course, in the end of the day, we
simply do it to please Allah subhanho wa Taala because this is what Allah has told us to do. Now,
some have said that this is to honor the marriage contract the rights of the husband, that you know
that there's so much that the husband has done and so to repay that kindness back and of course,
this could be sent. What if somebody were to come and flip it around, say, Well, okay, how about if
the wife did a lot to her husband? He doesn't have to do the same thing. And I don't have an answer
		

			to that. So again, these are things that the problem of bringing up the wisdoms once again
		

			And is that a lot of times wisdoms can easily be poked holes in and there's not much to be said
about that. Another thing that can be said in this regard as well, some people have said this is
that the the issue of what if she's carrying a child and this is a very valid point is that we make
want to make sure that because obviously the man is not an issue of he married soon after that, but
if a lady marries and she's pregnant from the first husband, that would be very, very awkward. So
again, but then the response can be why four months and 10 days, and I don't have a reason because
you can discuss these days you can discover pregnancy, you know, in with one test. So, these are all
		

			wisdoms, one of my teachers, he gave her wisdom as well. But again, it's a general wisdom, Allah
knows best. And it's a general wisdom that generally speaking, the the the woman, generally speaking
has to,
		

			she is the one that suffers more of the harshness of the mind and the other way around, generally
speaking, it is the man who might say something or do something that he shouldn't have done. And
when the lady is, you know, in her house with her husband's house for four months and 10 days, it is
at that point in time where she not only thinks of the bad she will also remember the good and the
point at this point is one of my teachers said is that so during this timeframe, in shallow data,
the good of the man will be much more than the bag so she will ask forgiveness for the man you know,
if he has done something he should not have done. This timeframe also allows for the lady to
		

			remember reminisce of the good times of the kindness and to then ask a lot forgiveness for the man.
In the end of the day dear sisters and brothers. These are all wisdoms that are coming from the
minds of people we don't know the wisdom and even if we don't understand it, it is very explicit in
the Quran. It is very clear in the Hadith as well for months and 10 days. Now, what is to be avoided
in this four months and 10 days a number of things. The Hadith mentions the main ones, number one
decorative garments now the Hadith mentions dyed garments and you know, some scholars have been very
strict any color but you know what, what it means some scholars have been more reasonable The point
		

			here is that every lady and every man any they have clothes that are regular and day to day, you
know who the worn clothes and then they have the fancy garments, everybody does this right even the
process and by the way, and so the point of this Hadeeth is that the point of the of the Hadith is
that she should not be wearing decorative garments, she should wear the most you know, simple
clothes for that timeframe, okay does even if there's some color on it the point because these days,
so popular, almost every clothing item has some color on it, and then the days of the profitsystem
color was a very expensive thing. So when he said a spool and a dyed garment what what the meaning
		

			here is that basically the expensive Garmin so and this is always the correct position is that the
goal here is that you wear simple clothes, whatever is the regular norm that ever and again this
would vary from time to place to culture to family to socioeconomic status, what is simple for a
very wealthy couple is not going to be the same as what is simple for a couple that is not so
wealthy, but every couple every family knows that this is the the simple thing that I wear. And so
during those four months and 10 days, she should never wear any glamorous clothes any glitzy outfit
she needs to be very simple. Also, very explicitly, our Prophet sallallahu Sallam said that remove
		

			the CoCo no Coco and from this, we we also understand any type of decorative makeup you know, any
type of of you know, things that are applied to mascara or all that these the makeups that are
applied here, they should be avoided. Now, again, in our timeframe, this is a very you know, complex
you know, system of makeups and whatnot that which is just what would they call touch ups or what
not each other there's no how to gin that but anything that is decorative that is really meant to be
beautifying above and beyond you know, the quick to three minutes you know, routine like some root
cream, some lotions shaldon that's something that is permissible, but the whole you know, decorative
		

			stuff that takes a long periods of time and this that is something that should be avoided during
those four months and 10 days also jewelry, anything that is Xena. Now, some scholars have made an
exception that if it's something that she has been wearing as the regular throughout her life, and
others say she should try to take it off during this timeframe, but definitely she should not be
dressing up in anything extra jewelry during this timeframe performance and 10 days now again, these
are above and beyond, she should maintain her personal hygiene, she should maintain her regular
routine of you know, showers and and you know, combing her hair what not, but the point is to go out
		

			of her way and to deck herself out. This is something that should be avoided for four months and for
10 days. Okay, so this is something that is very clear from the ahaadeeth. Now, the other issue
comes the the big issue here is where must she stay. And again, there's quite a lot of discussion
even amongst the Sahaba. By the way, this is a ruling that the format has they had an opinion but
amongst the Sahaba we have a very dire
		

			You know, are very heated if you like two sides. And again, I'm not going to go into advanced detail
here, you either ask the chef that you trust, or if you're trusting the position that that I have,
after the research that I've done in the positions that I've hold my position, my summary of it,
this is not the time to go into 50 details, the summary of it is as follows. The default position is
that the widow should live those four months and 10 days in the house that she used to live in with
her husband. If it is logistically feasible to do so. The default what you what you resort to as
Plan A is that she should, she should be in the house where her husband and her used to live
		

			basically the couple used to live their regular residence. And so for example, if they're on
vacation, somewhere, he passes away on vacation, she doesn't remain in the hotel for four months and
10 days, she will return to the house that they used to occupy. And she will live there for four
months and 10 days. However, this is the default. However, if there is any reasonable logistical
issue anything, not not necessarily life and death situation, anything that becomes a nuisance, that
we call it an Erica heritage, not necessarily the difficulty to the level of Bora Bora. But
something that makes life awkward or difficult. For example, if she is all alone in a city, and
		

			there are no relatives, and she's elderly, and she she can go get some food to the neighbors. But
it's a very difficult thing. Nobody's going to look after her. In this case, insha Allah Allah there
is no how much no sin for her to move into her son's house in another city or any place, and she
stays in that location for four months and 10 days and takes that as a base for the formance and the
10 days. And if something happens during that interim where she is forced to move to another place,
so be it, the point is that she should try hernia should be the default should be I'm going to
remain in the house of my marriage, or at least the marriage remains, and the last place that her
		

			husband or her were living in. And if that's not possible, then I'll move to the house of a Muharram
that is safe for four months and 10 days. And if something needs to happen, and she moves in Sharla,
no problem there as well. Also, it is authentically narrated from a number of companions, that their
daughters, their husbands passed away. And they would tell their daughters to come through their
houses during the daytime. And then they would send them back at night to the houses of their
husbands. So what is allowed during the daytime, she may exit the house for any legitimate need, you
know, whether she if she is working and she has to go to work or she's visiting her parents or
		

			whatnot, she may leave during the daytime and then she should spend the night she should get to her
house and spend the night in the house of her husband. That is the the the the ruling she is allowed
to leave during the daytime for any need of hers. And this need doesn't have to be as I said, life
threatening even if she's lonely, she wants to visit her her daughter or something and just you
know, anxiety is increasing. But she should try her best to go back to the house where she is living
performance and test net 10 days. Now again, if something happens, and she doesn't spend every
single night there, there's no explanation or casado. But she should ask a lot forgiveness and try
		

			her best to to do that. And once again, this level of strictness of staying in that house, it can be
mitigated in terms of any in case of any health issue, and the age issue, any logistical issue, any
psychological issue, if it's really an issue for the lady to remain alone, inshallah to Allah make
alternative arrangements that where they can stay, but still, the default should be that there
should be the position that she stays with them in the place of her husband's residence for four
months, and for 10 days. And then after that, and of course, this begins from the day that she that
the husband passes away. And so that will be the first day. And so you go for four months and 10
		

			days is a lunar month, not solar month, so you can count the lunar months, count them, and you can
make an average of 30 days, you know, so that's
		

			four times 30 plus 10. So that's going to be 140 days, so 140 days from the date of the the death,
the death of the of the husband, after that, then all of the restrictions are lifted, and she can go
back to normal. And of course, obviously, of the restrictions. And obviously the most obvious one is
that marriage is not allowed if she's a lady that you know, is young and wants to get married again.
So for that timeframe, there can be no concrete proposal much less any nikka. The Quran allows for
an indirect proposal. And an indirect proposal is that news comes through somebody comes through and
basically generically says, you know, for example that I'm you know, I'm interested in getting
		

			married, for example, that obviously, this is will vary from time to place that the Quran does not
allow an explicit proposal or an explicit acceptance, this is how long for performance and 10 days
there should be a period of mourning, but in case sanity, for example, sometimes a lady doesn't know
what's going to happen. What am I going to go after performance in 10 days? And so maybe you know, a
gentleman is
		

			wanting to get married and he just generically says, you know, I'm looking for a wife and maybe in a
few weeks we'll see what is possible leave it at that, you know, just leave the.dot.so the hint is
given that that constellation is there that okay inshallah something can be happening at that time
but the Sharia does not allow explicit marriage in this timeframe, in fact, not even an explicit
proposal during this timeframe. So, these are the laws of the of the headed