Yasir Qadhi – Ask Shaykh YQ #113 – A Question on Gender Dysphoria in Islam

			The next question is a very difficult one. And the brother has explicitly asked that he remained
anonymous, no names being mentioned here, the brother writes that he has been self diagnosed, let's
say with gender dysphoria since his childhood. He says that, even though he was born male, that he
never felt masculine. And that he is being very clear that he does not want to do gender
reassignment, nor does he want to dress like the other gender. And he does love a law and the
religion of Islam. But he is worried, because of two things number one, because of the Hadith of the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, in which he said that there is the liner on the Mohan nithin,
		

			while mythology lot that those men who act like women and those women who act like men, and he is
saying that he is a bit feminine by his appearance, and by his manner of manners and
characteristics, even though he does not try to do so. And so he is worried that this this hadith
apply to him. And the second is that he has heard that it is how long for men and women to remain
single to refrain from marriage. So now he is worried that if he does not want to get married,
because he says he has no inclinations whatsoever, for that deed with women, he has zero desires.
And so he is now asking, Is it permissible for me to remain single and not get married?
		

			One
		

			out of seven,
		

			poverty in the region? No, he lay him first, blue, Lake Erie
		

			ku.
		

			This question is a very sensitive one. And reading this brother's email, it really made me feel his
faith and his struggle. And I want to just reach out to you, dear brother in Islam, that your your
letter and your email, and you're summarizing, obviously in the for the audience was much longer
than this, your email really moved me. And it made me genuinely feel your strength of faith that
explicitly said that I am struggling with these emotions. Even as I recognize, you know, Islam has a
different understanding. And I'm not wanting to change or challenge the religion, but I'm wanting to
ask about these emotions that I have. And so I really want to mention that I felt the sincerity in
		

			your email, and I really felt that you are in Sharla. Without a strong believer, I could sense that
you're you're trying your best to be a good Muslim. And it really made me feel so happy to read your
your email. So I want to tell you point blank, that never lose hope and do not feel guilty for
things beyond your control. Never lose hope of Allah's mercy, Allah subhanho wa Taala is that a
human and that our aim, Allah is the hope for Eliza which allows the creation and he has tested all
of us in different ways. And the reasons for that test or for our for our own good when we pass the
test, the rewards will be immense, and the rewards are proportional to the struggles, the rewards
		

			are proportional to the struggles and therefore it is very possible that in your struggle, you will
achieve a much higher position in the eyes of Allah than the majority of mankind. Do not ever feel
guilty for something beyond your control. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with
the way that you desire or you feel and here's the key point of our faith is so beautiful. Allah
subhana wa tada does not criminalize feelings and emotions, there is nothing that is sinful in a
desire. It's beyond your control. But what the shediac does come is that it tells us certain desires
should not be acted upon, certain desires should be controlled, and other desires may be acted upon
		

			who gets to decide, see, here's another key difference. And I know I'm going to a bit of a tangent
here. But you see, we're living at a time in a place where there is another dominant ideology. I
mean, you can call it humanism, you can call it liberalism, and of course, humanism and liberalism,
they overlap, there's an element of it together, secularism, these are all various ideologies,
humanism, really it it posits human beings as the center of the universe, and therefore everything
is about me, myself and I, everything is about what I want, what are my desires, what are my
passions, if I want to do something, I should be able to do it. That's the basic philosophy of
		

			humanism. And the modern Western cultures that we live in are basically manifestations of this
philosophy, where the dominant methodology of deriving ethics and of deriving what is right and
wrong, really goes down.
		

			Your own desires and Allah says no Hold on one tebal hakuho home defesa December watertable, Murphy
him, if truth, were contingent upon the desires of people, then all that is in the Heaven, Earth
would become corrupt. desires do not dictate ultimate truths, I desire things, some of them are good
for me, some of them are bad for me, every human being desires things, and some of those desires are
permissible, and and some of them are permissible with conditions and some are completely
impermissible. Who gets to decide? It's a broader topic here. But obviously as people of faith we
believe our religion decides what is right and what is wrong, what is good and what is evil. And if
		

			you believe hamdulillah and the truth of Islam, which there are question or does but if you believe
in the truth of Islam, then of the fundamentals of our religion, without a shadow of a doubt, it is
explicit in in the whole philosophy of the idea is that there are two default genders. And these two
genders are not the same. Well, they said that Kuru can own them man is not like the woman the woman
is not like the man and Eliza, we just created us from a man and a woman and Allah Subhana, WA tada
created everything in pairs or Inquisition, katakana zu Janie and Allah created for each of us, the
spouse, the gender, that is the others that Holla Holla common and footsy Camas. Washington, he
		

			created from us, for us spouses, so that we can find tranquility, there is a wisdom in the separate
in the distinction of the two genders, the two genders are not the same. Obviously, we're now coming
to a timeframe for the first time in human history, brothers and sisters, this is something
unprecedented in any culture, any society, any era, any civilization, where the claim is being made,
that genders themselves are imaginary constructs, that there is nothing different about the two
genders. And of course, you know, that is utterly nonsensical, it goes against every single facet of
biology, of anatomy of everything that makes him a woman, our chromosomes are different. Everything
		

			about us is different in terms of our looks, our functionality, everything is different. The claim
that there's no such thing as genders, this is a claim that is not based on unlived realities, it is
simply words that come out of somebody's mouth in our times. Now, the claim also that gender roles
are social constructs, while gender roles are different than genders gender roles, perhaps some
elements of it are social constructs. At the same time, in every single society from the beginning
of time, there have been gender roles now those gender roles are society specific, no doubt, no
doubt about that. But no society has taken genders to be absolutely equivalent in every single
		

			responsibility that is handed down to people. So that's a more broader topic, but inshallah one day
we might get there the point that your question is very specific, and
		

			will answer your question obviously, because it is much more much more broad topic here. It this
topic, by the way, is deserving, much longer treatment and inshallah one day I do plan to address
this in a full lecture or maybe bits and pieces in various lectures, to answer your question. There
are, of course, many different types of, you know, individuals, we are not in this question, dealing
with a category that is called intersex and intersex individuals are individuals that are born with
genders that are ambiguous, or both genders or the doctors are basically having to do a surgery. And
that's a small percentage of mankind less than 1%, they say is intersex. We're not talking about
		

			those that are born at you know, from birth, they have permutations of their chromosomes that are
not the typical xx and xy. That's a separate category. Your question is not related to that, that
category, we will answer perhaps in another lecture or question, it is not the topic of your
question, what you're asking about comes under a type of check transgender issue. And of course, the
term transgender itself is an umbrella term, it also embodies or incorporates many different
categories, you know, you have genders that are biologically born in one male or female, and they
want to act or imitate the other or they want to dress like the other this is known as drag, let's
		

			say the drag dressing this takes place the cross dressing that takes place, you have those that are
born in one gender, and they want to change over to the other gender, and they do so in our times by
surgery or by hormones, so they undertake actual changes, where the man will take hormones to, you
know, get, you know, the natural * if you like and also maybe even do the surgery to get rid
of the male organ and implant a female organ in its place, or the female might get to implant you
know, for the male organ and this is now possible from a medical perspective.
		

			So you have those that are undertaking this. And then you have those that they don't necessarily
want to do the surgery or operation but they want to take on the the appearance and the looks of the
other. And by the way, there are also those that have undertaken the surgery and then rediscovered
Islam or converted to Islam then I've had cases myself where a person embraced Islam and they were
born of one biological gender, they they did the surgeries they became the other gender and then
they embraced Islam and the fatwa was asked for me, whether this person should be treated in terms
of fifth and in terms of inheritance and in terms of where they should pray, whether they should be
		

			treated as the birth gender or as the post surgery gender. So there are many questions inshallah,
bit by bit, you know, over the course of the next few weeks or months, we'll answer them bit by bit,
your question was very specific, you are born biologically male, you have no biological issue in
terms of your chromosomes, everything is normal, you are fully functional male, however, you are
saying that you are inclined to want to be a female, and you feel like acting or dressing like one,
but you say that you understand that it is not something that should be done. So you have curbed
this emotion, and you are absolutely correct your brother, that you that the Sharia does not allow,
		

			it does not encourage, in fact, there is an authentic Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam that the curse is on line, the line is on the Mohan nithin, and then waitara gilas. Mohan
Nathan, are those amongst the men who imitate women who are acting like women dressing like women.
And then what are Gillette? Are those women who act like men, or who dress like men or who try to
appear like, men. So this is your specific question. We're not going to go to the other questions
right now. And you are worried that you're saying some of the characteristics you have have been
deemed to be effeminate, and you're worried does this apply to you or not? And I say to not at all,
		

			anything that is not in your control, Allah azzawajal has lifted the pen that there are certain
people that they naturally have a certain pitch or a certain appearance, or a certain way of walking
that they are not trying to do it just happens that they are doing that, or they have a high pitched
voice or they have very less facial hair or whatever it might be, obviously, there is no sin in that
whatsoever. Your mum in no way mentioned when he mentioned this Hadith, in Sahih Muslim It is also
Muslim, he then comments on this Hadith, he said, there are two types or there are two categories of
Mohan, none of this type of you know, if feminists See, the first of them is that which is natural,
		

			and a person does not do anything extra, but rather these characteristics are effeminate anyway, and
this type of characteristic, there is no sin on it, and there is no harm on it. And in fact, there
is nothing that is problematic if a person is naturally you know, maybe the appearance or maybe the
voice or maybe the natural thing that they're born in a certain manner. This is Allah's creation,
there's nothing that can be done about that some men's voices are much deeper than others and some
men have a much higher pitched voice. Some men you know, are much more you know, hovered might be
and others are it that's the whole spectrum there. As long as they're not going out of their way.
		

			They're not conditioning themselves, they're not forcing something, and it is coming. And the same
goes for women, some women might have a deeper voice than others, and some women might might have an
appearance that is different than others. All of this is beyond our control. There is nothing as the
mama know, he says La La Mola, I will ask them what are akua mentioned four things, there is no
problem whatsoever, and this person is forgiven, and an excused even no issue whatsoever. The second
category mama No, he says his many ethical level, the one who tries and goes out of his way to try
to be the opposite gender and to dress like the opposite gender and to act like the opposite gender
		

			and to have the demeanor of the opposite gender, that is the person who is castigated, who is
chastised that is the person upon whom this headache will apply. So this is something that he meant
Mm hmm. No, he himself said and therefore you asked that are you sinful for your natural, you know
demeanor and whatnot, that response is a resounding no, there is no sin on you whatsoever how your,
you know, your, your natural way that you speak or you act or you talk that's beyond your control,
you are forgiven for doing that, nonetheless, you have to be careful that you stay within the the
dress codes and the cultural manifestations of gender of your time and your place what is considered
		

			to be dignified, which varies from culture to culture. Again, that's an another important point and
facet that is beyond the scope of this brief question. But again, different societies have different
you know, manifestations and what is to be considered masculine what is considered feminine and what
is it
		

			You know, the proper, dignified manner for each of the two genders. This is something that does
slightly vary, but overall there are certain characteristics that are indeed considered to be
masculine and others that are feminine. You try your best to stick with the gender that you're
you're you're born in as much as you can, what is beyond your control, you are forgiven for as for
your second question about marriage, then you have misheard This is simply not the case. A person is
not sinful for remaining single, perhaps you misunderstood that. A person who remains single
thinking that it is religious to do so IE he wants to get married, or she wants to get married. And
		

			they think that no, not getting married will get me rewards by a lot. That is sinful. That is a
deviation. That is a bitter, that is the heresy. We don't have monasticism in Islam. We do not have
monasticism in Islam. And therefore, we do not intentionally avoid marriage for the sake of Allah.
No. However, if you don't have the inclination to get married, and you want to live your life as
single life, there is no question that that is completely permissible. Why would it be problematic
to remain single for the rest of your life, you are saying you have no inclination to be married,
that is perfectly acceptable, and you may remain single for the rest of your life, and it's not
		

			going to be any sin upon you. In fact, in your case, it might even be preferred. And if you were to
consider marriage, you would have to explain to your spouse, that, you know, you're not interested
in an intimacy or whatever. And, you know, I have heard of cases where two people have found of a
similar nature, meaning that maybe there are women as well, that are just wanting companionship, but
not the intimacy part, for example, and they're just wanting to have a life partner. Because
obviously, you're going to live the rest of your life, it's nice to have somebody you know, to share
that life with, even if you don't have children together. And I have actually heard of these cases
		

			where, you know, people that are not under the same, you know, persuasions as most of mankind, where
they, they have agreed to just come together for a civil union. And then the guy has a marriage,
like a man and a woman. Their inclinations are different. They're not like the, you know, the the
normative inclination. And so they decide to just come together, and they're aware of it, there's no
cheating going on. Because again, you have to be very careful that it has happened to, to me that
people have come to me that a man was feeling in a particular manner, he's not attracted to women
and whatnot, but he got married. And now the woman is now you know, coming to me and saying, he has
		

			never touched me, or he's never approached me. And, you know, he has told me that his desires are
such and such. And he knew this before marriage, and this is wrong, completely wrong, you cannot get
married, knowing that you're not going to fulfill the obligations of your spouse without even
telling your spouse this, but my point to you is consider that there are people who do believe in
the shediac hamdulillah and they want to follow the shediac and they have inclinations that are not
necessarily the normative inclinations. And if two such people of the opposite gender, where to find
one another and get married just for the sake of companionship for the sake of whatever if they want
		

			to again, there's no there's no obligation but perhaps that might be an option for you in the end of
the day. I just wanted to say that really your your question, I found it very moving and I was very
touched by it and ask Allah subhana wa tada to make your affairs easy for you. And I want to say
that in the struggle that you are undergoing that in sha Allah to Allah, this is your agenda. This
is your salvation, that this is the way that you will get your your rewards from Allah subhana wa
Tada. And it is very possible. You know, you're feeling guilty for who you are. No, it is very
possible you are better than all of us simply because you are struggling in a way that very few of
		

			us can relate to and understand and you are at hamdulillah looks like you're conquering and you're
winning in that struggle. that's the sign of a man. So keep up the good work, turn to Allah subhanho
wa Taala constantly make lots of dua to Allah subhana wa tada remains steadfast and firm. And in
that struggle and perseverance shall be your Jenna.