Yasir Qadhi – 10 Deeds to Jannah #5 – Being Good To One’s Family

			Don't forget furie
		

			Muhammad sallahu wa barakato Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah who Allah Allah, he
was a woman who Lama back. So we're talking about various good deeds that we can do especially
during the 10 days of the hedger, but in reality, any timeframe. And we were also talking about the
issue of good manners. And I had mentioned in our last lecture, the blessings of being good to one's
parents. Okay, before we move on to another good deed, I also wanted to bring up another issue
which, again, it is an awkward one, we rarely talk about it. And yet it is something that is very
important, and that is the issue of being good to one's family, fulfilling the ties of kinship,
		

			fulfilling the ties of kinship, and the concept of kinship, the concept of being good to one's
extended family yesterday, we talked about, in particular, the parents and there's no question that
out of all the people in the world, the parents are number one category, right after the parents of
course comes your spouse and your children. And right after that comes your relatives and siblings
and cousins and uncles and aunts This is all the family and then of course you have the extended
family and Allah subhana wa tada mentions in the Quran, that of the most fundamental characteristics
of the believer and of piety and of righteousness and of the people of Jenna is to have what is
		

			called sila tool or ham. And similar to our ham, it's a very interesting terminology that Allah uses
in the Quran, when it comes to fulfilling the ties of kinship. Silla means to connect Scylla means
to bond with, and our ham is the plural of loom, Rahim is womb. And therefore it is as if you are
connecting or bonding with somebody who shares the same ancestry as you either the immediate
ancestry which is siblings, or a grandparent, which is cousins, or a second grandparent, which are
second cousins, your whole family, you are sharing at some point in recent history, right? Either
one generation ago or two or three or as obviously it goes less than less as you go much. But the
		

			point and meaning less and less means the bonds of kinship are of course considered to be less tight
to less strict as you go further. But the point is that your cousin, right, at one point in time,
the both of you, there is something in common and that is one person or one couple is in common. And
that is a clear manifestation that the two of you have a bond and a connection. And so how can you
just break away from one another when there is that strong bond that Allah azzawajal has placed
between you and Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions that being good to one's family is a reality that
goes back even before Islam that Allah says in the Quran, where the word hardened me Taliban is so
		

			ill, that Allah azzawajal took the covenant with the children of Israel of Israel. And then he
mentioned that whether it be good to one's parents and whether koruba and to be good to one's
relatives as well. So again, this is being good to one's family isn't just beginning with our faith
tradition as well. Allah subhanho wa Taala says a certain Nyssa Wildwood aloha will not be shared
while the next one will be the Cobra Walia. Tomba. Same thing as well, that worship Allah alone, and
be good to your parents, and be good to your relatives as well. Fulfilling the ties of kinship is
one of the earliest commandments that came down from a law to our Prophet Sall Allahu Allah who was
		

			sending them, there was a man from Yemen by the name of Ahmed nabasa, who came to Makkah, when the
Prophet sallallahu wasallam was just beginning to preach Islam. This is at the very beginning when
there was just two or three converts. And he heard that some rumors that the Prophet ism is
preaching something. So he came to him privately and he said to him, that what are you what are you
preaching? What is your message? What has Allah sent you with? And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam said, Allah has sent to me with three, number one, that Allah alone be worshipped. And number
two, that idols be avoided and destroyed. No idols we should not worship them. And number three,
		

			that the family ties be maintained with kindness and mercy. These three things were the first things
that the Prophet system said to
		

			diversity. And one job for the cousin of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked by the
emperor of Abyssinia, what does your prophet preach? What is he telling you to do? In that three or
four lines that he said What did your father say? jafra mentioned that he tells us to work
		

			Worship Allah subhanho wa Taala. And to be kind to our relatives, and to give poor the charity and
to take care of the orphan, and to not eat the meat that is for us, so he just gave a list of 678
things. The second thing that he mentioned, to worship a law number two, to be good to our relatives
of Hannah luck, can you imagine that was so clear in their minds that fulfilling the ties of kinship
is something that is an essential characteristic of this religion and this faith, and in fact, the
name of family in the Sharia in the Quran, and soon it comes from the very name of a law of rock
man. There is a hadith in Sahih Bukhari that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, When
		

			Allah created the creation, the room stood up the womb and what is the name for woman Arabic Quran
stood up and said that what is my macom Ola, what is my status of Allah? And Allah subhanho wa Taala
said, Are you not content that whoever you connect with, I shall connect with them, and that whoever
you cut off with, I shall cut off from them. In other words, when family that we can say the concept
of family, right, the concept of family stood up and said to Allah, what is my hakko Allah.
		

			Allah said, Whoever connects the family is connected with me. And whoever breaks away from the
family breaks away from me, in under the heading sahadi. The Prophet sallallahu wasallam said that
Allah subhana wa tada said, I am a human and from my name or man, I created the family around him.
Again, I'm translating Abraham as family because that's the meaning of technically Raheem means womb
technically, but in Arabic, Rahim and our ham means your family that's what it means your your kith
and kin, your cousins, your uncles and aunts, your second cousins as your family. Now again, as I
said earlier, the closer the kinship the more the right so the right Your brother has over you is
		

			much more than that. Right your uncle has over you that right your uncle has over you is more than
the right your cousin has over you and so on and so forth.
		

			In fact, in the Koran, it is one of the very few things that Allah subhana wa tada curses in the
Quran, Allah literally curses in the Quran, that Allah says those who break the covenant of Allah
subhana wa tada and cut off
		

			our lobby and usefully cut off the ties that Allah has commanded them to fulfill Allah says upon
them is the land of Allah and upon them is the evil abode of jahannam. And therefore, we need to be
very, very careful about the ties of kinship. And we have, you know, something that we need to be
very explicit about that. Listen, dear Muslims, dear brothers and sisters, every single family has
issues and politics, this is the reality of humanity. Everybody's got an uncle or a sibling or a
cousin that you know, you just roll your eyes and as a male love protected, helpless, everybody.
Everybody's got family drama, everybody's got some thing that happened at somebody's wedding, and
		

			shoddy over there, this is the reality of life, okay, you have to deal with it and live with it and
move on with it. And make sure that, you know, okay, things happen, you need to move on and heal and
mend those wounds. And there are a number of things that can be said here on a practical level, that
obviously we're talking about fulfilling the ties of kinship when you are not in physical or
emotional harm. Obviously, if there is a family member that is physically harmful, or emotionally
abusive to the point of view Cannot you know stand and it's something that is traumatic or something
we're not talking about that that's a separate issue. Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said
		

			that there should be no harming of others. So if somebody's harming you, obviously, we're not
talking about that. But otherwise, just a sarcastic remark, or just, you know, bad manners or
whatnot. This is a part of the friction of life, and it is inevitable, and for sure, you as well
have been imperfect, with other people's relationships, just like others have been imperfect to your
relationships. So what are some of the things that you can do first and foremost, to realize that
time does heal all wounds? This is one of the greatest ironies of life that Subhanallah you know,
you think that something happens and it's going to always be a barrier between you and your
		

			relative, but you've had a lot, any things happen and it's really ironic that at times, it is
tragedies that combined families, you know, the death of a loved one, for example, will bring two
cousins who haven't spoken for many years, maybe even a sibling or with a biller. And so before that
time comes but still if that is what causes it, then you know, okay, that is what causes it and
bring some reconciliation from that as well. Also be the better of the two. You don't know that may
be a kind gesture, a kind word, you know, the main problem that has
		

			Is that again that may be very honest here. The main problem that happens between two family members
that begin an issue is arrogance, arrogance. That's the main problem. A trivial issue one, but one
person said something the other person followed it up and then that's it. egos become so big, for
some reason one is family that would never be for a stranger. And you know, you would think that for
family members, it should be the smallest ego, but that is the reality of humanity. And so when you
have this make dua to Allah to grant Jewish humility, and be the better of the to begin with a
positive gesture. And remember the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the one who
		

			fulfills the ties of kinship is not the one who treats his relatives the way they treat him. No, the
only fulfilled is really the ties of kinship is that when his relatives break off from him, he is
the one who mend that relationship. That is the one who is the higher level. Let's get there to that
level. I conclude by reminding us of the beautiful Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam. It's an authentic hadith. And it's an incentive for us to be good to our family. Our Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, whoever wishes that his life be extended, and his sustenance be
increased, then let him be good to his family, let him fulfill the ties of kinship, who amongst us,
		

			does not want to live a long life and who amongst us does not want to have more wealth, and he is
giving us an incentive, Allah and His Messenger are telling us, you want to live longer, happier,
healthier, then you be the better person for your extended family and be the more kinder, more
compassionate. So during these 10 days, especially that cousin, you've had an issue with that uncle
or aunt, that extended relative that you cut off from? Now is the time in these 10 days especially
make that phone call, send that email on a positive thing, and then shout Allahu taala give a gift
and you will see the reality given back to you and a lot of xojo will bless you, but Allah subhanho
		

			wa Taala make us always the better of the two in any situation. inshallah we'll continue tomorrow
said I'm worried about a castle.