Yahya Rhodus – The Seminary Rawha 11-11-2024
AI: Summary ©
The importance of patient anger management is discussed, including the need to learn to suppress anger and learn to avoid negative behavior. The speakers emphasize the importance of protecting one's energy during face and eyes during spiritual exercises, avoiding sexual behavior, and not wanting to be something that is detrimental to their health. The importance of protecting one's energy during warm season and avoiding distractions is also emphasized. The conversation also touches on the challenges of developing addictions and avoiding addictions, and the need for professional help.
AI: Summary ©
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم.
الحمد لله رب العالمين.
وصلى الله على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه
وسلم أجمعين.
سبحانك لا علمننا إلا ما علمتن أنك أنت
العليم الحكيم.
ولا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله العليم العظيم.
So we'll continue our study of Riyadh As
-Saleheen of Sayyiduna l-Imam An-Nawiyah رحمه
الله تعالى.
We're still in the chapter on patience.
And there's a lot of hadith on patience.
Which means that patience is not an easy
thing to have.
Patience is something that we want to acquire.
So we've reached hadith number 46.
وعن سلمان ابن سرد رضي الله عنه قال
كنت جالسا مع النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم
والرسولان يستبان أحدهما قد حمر وجهه وانتفقت أوداجه
فقالوا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إني
لعلم كلمة لو قال هذا ذهب عنه ما
يجد وقال أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم ذهب
منه ما يجد فقالوا له إن النبي صلى
الله عليه وسلم قال أعوذ بالله من الشيطان
الرجيم ذهب منه ما يجد حديث 46 سلمان
ابن سرد رضي الله عنه I was once
sitting with the Messenger of Allah صلى الله
عليه وسلم when two men began to quarrel.
The face of one of them had turned
red and the veins on his neck were
protruding.
The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم
said I know a statement which, if he
says, will cause his anger to subside.
If he says, I seek refuge in Allah
from Shaytan the accursed, his anger will subside.
The Sahabah then said to him, The Messenger
of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said Seek
refuge in Allah from Shaytan the accursed.
So it's one of the ways that Shaytan
manipulates us is especially when we're angry.
It's one of the prime times where we
do things that we regret.
And so we have to learn how to
be patient and to control our anger.
And we have a comprehensive we have a
comprehensive solution for anger in the sunnah of
our Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.
And there's steps that we take in order
to learn how to then control our anger.
And it begins by what is called قَضْنِ
الْغَيْضِ It is considered to be a virtue.
Allah says وَالْقَاضِمِينَ الْغَيْضِ Those who suppress your
anger.
So we have to learn to suppress our
anger.
And just because you're angry doesn't mean like,
No, I want to be my authentic self.
Keep it real.
When you're angry, show your anger.
Right?
It's almost as we have people around us
encouraging us to do things like that.
No.
But if it's not a good idea to
show your anger, suppress your anger.
وَلَا فِي نَنَا نَسْ And learn to pardon
people.
Because why does Allah say pardon after restraining
your anger?
Because if you don't pardon people, your suppressed
anger can turn into rancor and hatred.
If you don't pardon.
And then the highest state of ultimate is
وَاللَّهُ يُحِبِّن مُرْسِينَ Allah loves the people who
do good.
The people of excellence.
So here we're learning one of these things
that we do.
Along with suppressing our anger, is we learn
that one of the first things that we
use to seek refuge in Allah Ta'ala
from Shaytan.
Especially when we get angry.
And this will work because our Prophet ﷺ
said that it works.
If you do it sincerely, it will work.
And then we have a whole other series
of things.
If you're standing, you sit.
If you sit, you lie down.
You remove yourself from the situation.
If none of that works, that you walk
out of the room, that you perform wudu.
There's comprehensive guidance that we have in teaching
us how it is that we need to
control our anger.
So that he says that I was sitting
with the Prophet ﷺ and two men were
insulting one another.
And then one of them, his face got
red.
What did they translate it as?
The odage?
The veins started to stick out his neck.
He was so angry.
And then the Prophet ﷺ saw this and
he said that I know a word that
if this person would have said it, everything
that he's feeling, just complete rage, that it
would go from him.
And if he would just simply say, أعوذ
بالله من الشيطان Allah Ta'ala would help
you from that shaytan manipulating you in that
moment.
And Mu'adha Ibn Anson, may Allah be
pleased with him, said that the Prophet ﷺ
said, Mu'adha Ibn Anson, may Allah be
pleased with him, said that
the
Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, One who suppresses
his anger despite having the ability to give
vent to it, Allah Azza wa Jalla shall
summon him on the Day of Qiyamah, before
the entire creation, so that he may choose
whichever of the wide-eyed maidens he likes.
Abu Dawood Tirmidhi.
And then another narration is that whoever suppresses
their anger and they're able to unleash on
it, that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will
fill his or her heart, Allah Ta'ala
will fill that person's heart with security and
faith on the Day of Judgment.
So in other words is that there's great
reward for suppressing our anger.
Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will replace that
on Yawmul Qiyamah with a great reward from
His Presence.
Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.
Abu Huraira r.a said, A person said
to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, Advise me.
He replied, Do not get angry.
He repeated the request several times and the
Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, Do not get
angry.
Bukhari.
And here that he's teaching this companion is
that this is something he needs to work
on.
He likely noticed in him ﷺ that he
had an anger issue and the way that
we have to work on these types of
traits is that you move in the other
direction and you do that continuously until you
can find that balance.
So let's just say that someone is very
stingy.
They force themselves to give, give, give, give,
give until they can kind of be in
the middle where they can give when it's
right and withhold when it's right.
And if someone has an anger issue, you
suppress your anger, hold back, restrain yourself, restrain
yourself until you can then know when to
be angry and how to be angry and
when to haqqa.
And so this is how we cure ourselves
of various vices is that we oftentimes have
to tip the scale in the other direction
in order to get back somewhere in the
middle.
A question?
This is on the discussion of the hur.
So it actually came up earlier today in
our dars that the shaheed will receive a
hur.
So I guess a few questions came up
as to why that is always, that is
mentioned often and also what do we receive
as women?
That's why we quoted that other narration which
is the other narration is general for both
genders and essentially that Allah subhanahu wa ta
'ala gives in paradise.
This is something from his will.
He chooses to give whatever he wants to
give and I think with answers like this
we have to just be very straightforward is
that no one who enters into paradise, even
the last person, that will feel like they
missed out on anything.
Every single person who makes it to paradise,
both men and women alike, even the last
person who enters into paradise will feel like
they have everything in the world many times
over and no one is going to feel
like they missed out on anything.
So there are certain things that Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala might give a specific gender,
not another, from various things that are deemed
to be things that are desirable.
But the reality is that everyone who enters
into paradise will be experiencing everlasting bliss.
And that no one is going to feel
like they're missing out on anything.
And I think that's the best way to
understand things of this nature.
And perhaps specifically in this context, I think
you could probably say to be a little
bit harder on the men, is that uncontrollable
anger is probably very likely more of a
male problem than it is a female problem.
Surely there are women who have anger problems
as well.
But I think we could probably pretty easily
find statistics that show that men statistically tend
to have more fits of anger than females,
even though certainly there are women who also
have this problem.
It's a human problem.
And so when you balance the different narrations
out, we don't always know the exact context
of who our Prophet ﷺ was speaking to.
But when you connect narrations one to another,
there's reward for both genders in terms of
controlling our anger.
We'll take one more inshaAllah.
Did you hear that?
It's beautiful.
Allahu Akbar.
We'll continue to be afflicted with tribulation, the
believer, and that of our own selves, our
children, our wealth, until that we meet Allah
ﷻ and we have zero sins.
Look at that perspective.
And in the moment when you're going through
these things, they're not fun, they're bitter, they're
difficult, but there's a divine wisdom in them.
And sometimes you don't fully understand until you
meet Allah.
And then, all the sins that you're worried
about are atoned for from the tribulations that
we went through.
Now we don't ask Allah for tribulations.
We ask Him for the ease and affwa
and afiyah, pardon and well-being.
But this is, our Prophet ﷺ is telling
us about a reality that otherwise we would
not know.
Whose turn is it to read?
In the name of Allah.
We're reading from Agenda 3, Change Our Condition
by Hamza Yusuf and Shade Shachar.
Exercise 3, Guarding the Allies.
The scholars, Allah says in the Qur'an,
Tell the believing men to lower their gaze
and guard their modesty, and tell the believing
women to lower their gaze and guard their
modesty.
The scholars differ about the meaning and implication
of this verse, but generally what is prohibited
is to look at anything that is deemed
nakedness and sacred love.
So the word for nakedness and sacred love
is what?
Aura.
Though not all the scholars agree on what
constitutes nakedness.
For the majority of scholars think this includes
for a man the entire body of a
woman, with the exception of her face and
hands, and for another man what is between
the navel and the knees.
However, the scholars consider anything from which we
derive sexual pleasure prohibited to look at unless
it is our lawful spouse.
For this reason, the body of a man
is prohibited for a woman to look at
if it arouses her carnal instincts.
Similarly, for a man, looking at the face
and hands of a woman is also prohibited
if that arouses his carnal instincts.
The first glance is not reading against the
person.
However, if one derives pleasure and does not
avert one's glance, or if one follows it
with a second glance, then it is considered
a minor sin.
Ibn al-Qahtan said, there is a consensus
that the eye is not connected to any
enormity, but it is the quickest inroad to
the destruction of the heart.
We must also guard ourselves against sensory images
that have corrupting influences on the heart.
Much of what is on television and around
us in terms of billboards and images is
actually detrimental to our hearts.
We should avert our gaze from these corrupting
influences also.
The exercise for the eyes is to make
commitment to Allah every morning for 40 continuous
days to not look at anything prohibited.
Throughout the day, be vigilant and keep in
mind that averting the glance is an essential
element in the practice of protecting the eyes
and thereby the heart.
In other words, you will see things that
are prohibited but count the day as successful
if you avert your glance from them.
In our culture, we have what could be
termed an in-your-face bombardment of images
and ads, as well as an immodest world
of fashion and apparel.
It is thus extremely important with this exercise
that we not become neurotic about our situations.
Lowering the gaze is a profound spiritual practice
in any time and place and can be
done with dignity and naturalness that does not
lead to obsessive behaviors that may be detrimental
and lead to social pathology.
Mark each day and go back to day
one if you fail.
Use some punitive measure to discipline yourself.
Okay, this is a timely chapter that we
take this now.
And so that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
says in the Quran Tell the believing men
to lower their gaze and guard their modesty.
And tell the believing women to lower their
gaze and guard their modesty.
And so it's a command that Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala gives to both male and
to females.
And that He says This is more pure
for them Allah ta'ala knows that very
well what it is that they do.
And so that you have the three dots
there that didn't translate the full verse.
They translate that.
They put the three dots.
They didn't translate the part I just translated.
And then And that translates here as guard
their modesty.
Literally it means to protect their private parts
and excuses for being so explicit.
There's going to be a little bit of
explicit explanation when it comes to this because
this is very important.
This is one of the great keys to
protect us.
And again when we talk about these things,
people make fun of us.
And people that think that there's something wrong
with us and that we're like abnormal and
anti-social and very uncomfortable with the opposite
gender because of these types of things.
But Allah ta'ala has given us rules.
And I really believe that we should unabashedly
represent the beautiful sacred law of our Prophet
ﷺ, especially in our context.
Our teachers, the likes of Sheikh Abdul Hakim
Murad, who when it comes to these matters
is just very clear.
And when he was asked about this on
one occasion, he listed the names of a
few countries.
And he says, look at these countries and
compare the statistics of that sexually transmitted diseases
between Muslims and between, he mentioned, Christians.
And just compare the different countries.
And so people could critique some of our
rules as much as they want, but in
every single one of these countries that he
mentioned, they were significantly less in the Muslim
community.
And Muslims are afflicted with these things as
well, but nowhere to the degree of others.
People that are concerned about adhering to the
sacred law are protected in ways that others
are not protected from.
The shari'ah is about protection so that
we don't fall into something that's going to
harm us and as a result harm society.
So Allah tells us, قُلَّ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ, tell the
believing men to lower their gaze.
But not just the believing men.
The believing women also have to lower their
gaze.
And this is a part of how it
is that we are supposed to be.
And a man is supposed to be modest
and a woman is supposed to be modest.
And no one is more modest than Rasulullah.
And he said, كل دين خلق, every religion
has a quintessential trait.
وخلق الإسلام الحياء The quintessential trait of Islam
is modesty.
And this is something that the modern world
is trying to rip out from underneath us.
Both men and women like, but then the
billion dollar plus cosmetic industry is focusing much
more on the female gender than the male
gender.
Although the fashion industry is focusing on both.
And in the end people are left with
a deep feeling of emptiness in their hearts
that when we follow our desires and to
do things that are prohibited.
And so he says here, the scholars differ
about the meaning and implication of this verse.
But generally what is prohibited is to look
at anything that is deemed legal nakedness.
Aura.
In the sacred law.
Though not all scholars agree on what constitutes
legal nakedness.
And so in general when they talk about
the Aura, they say it's ما يجيب سطرها
ويحرم النظر إليها So it's that which is
an obligation for you to cover and it
is unlawful for you to see.
Even without desire.
So that if someone's Aura is exposed, to
look at that is Haram.
Even if it's without desire.
And then to look at anything else and
the Shafi'i school goes to an extent
to say anything else with desire is Haram.
So this is where again, to touch on
one of these things that people like to
just brush aside like it's okay, everybody else
is doing it.
If you're watching a movie and you are
attracted and it's arousing your desires towards the
opposite gender even though a movie's fake and
even though it's been recorded and you're watching
it on a screen if it moves your
desires, it's Haram.
It's Haram.
There's no and I'm always amazed how people
just think that you can just watch movies
and think that everything is okay and that
nothing's happened to you internally.
And so we have to be very careful
about what it is that we look at.
And when we open up the door and
can't have conversations like this in the community
and we let our children or we let
other community members just to openly watch whatever
it is that they want and then it
leads to consequences.
We should have been calling people to the
sacred law in the beginning.
Because there will be consequences.
This is the nature of the desire.
The desire when it's aroused and it's continually
aroused is that it's easier the Imam al
-Hadith says something like this It's easier to
move what's in the heavens than the earth.
Once someone has a desire and they want
to do something then to get them to
go away from that desire.
And it's from here that we can understand
why things like these happen.
Because desire gets the best of someone.
As we've said, is that a tiny drop
of desire corrupts an entire ocean of knowledge.
That's why it's so dangerous.
That's why we have to always focus on
this science and the importance of Tasawwuf, of
Tazkiyah, of Ihsan and protect ourselves.
And as you move through life you will
be tempted in a number of different ways.
You'll be tempted with money.
You'll be tempted with the opposite gender.
You'll be tempted with fame.
You'll be tempted in a number of different
ways.
And especially if you're talented.
Especially if you're good looking.
Especially if you're smart and intelligent and you
have a lot of knowledge.
You will be tempted in different ways.
And this is why we want to learn
now, okay, what do we have to do
to protect ourselves?
You close these doors completely.
And one of them is, even though people
are going to think you're weird and almost
no one else is doing it, you lower
your gaze.
Halas.
And there's a big difference between someone who
sees something and immediately lowers their gaze and
someone who fixates their eyes on something.
Is what the more you fixate your eyes
on something, the more difficult it becomes for
you to leave that thing.
And to disassociate yourself from that thing.
This is really important.
And this is why zina begins with a
gaze.
When Allah says that, He says, don't even
go near zina.
That's what He tells us.
Don't go near fornication.
In other words, that it starts here with
your eyes.
And Allah gave us eyelids so that we
can learn to protect ourselves.
And again, back to this whole conversation of
applied technology, now unfortunately zina is right there
on your phone.
Anything that you could possibly, the most filthy
things that you could possibly imagine don't imagine,
are right at your fingertips.
For minors, people of older age, it just
requires taqwa.
It requires taqwa.
Allah sees you.
And we have to be careful to developing
this habit.
So, the aura has to be covered.
Men have an aura and women have an
aura for obvious reasons.
The aura of women is different than the
aura of men.
There are very obvious reasons to this.
For the majority of scholars, this includes for
a man the entire body of a woman
with the exception of her face and hands.
There are some who are even stricter that
say that it even includes the face and
hands in some schools and some opinions in
some schools.
But in general, this is what we put
forth.
And that in some schools, like the Hanafi
school, the feet of a woman are not
aura.
So, those are roughly the parameters.
But in the most strictest opinions you find,
like in I've lived in conservative societies like
this, like in Tarim, is that they consider
to be the entire body of a woman
aura and they cover it.
And we have to respect that.
It's not backwards.
These people are backwards.
Stripping a woman of her dignity are backwards.
That making a woman's worth in her body,
that's backwards.
That giving, making men and women to be
obsessed with their physical beauty is backwards.
It's not backwards.
Hayat is not backwards.
When Sayyidah Fatima asked that the Prophet ﷺ
said, what's the very best thing for a
woman?
He said, for not to see a man
and for not a man to see her.
For her to not see a man, a
man not to see her.
And that's kamal.
That's her lofty statement.
That's beautiful.
And not everybody can do that.
And we're not saying everybody has to follow
the highest in everything.
But that is the highest.
And we have to have the scale of
our understanding right.
And we'll be criticized for that.
People will say whatever it is that they
want to say.
But these are nasus.
We have to submit to the realities of
our deen and not want it to be
the way we want it to be.
And these ahkam, there's plenty of ahkam that
teach us how we can reasonably, if a
woman is working and that she's out and
about and so forth right now, the way
that we conduct classes, that we don't have
separate classrooms always for men and women.
The point here being is, is that our
sharia is, we're able to put it into
practice alhamdulillah, in all different times and places.
But we don't want to change the reality
of things.
Okay.
And As-Sayyidah Fatima Zahra, the blessed daughter
of the Prophet ﷺ, that found out that
women in absinia would cover their bodies for
their funerals with a palm frond.
And so she told As-Sayyidah Ibn Umar
to bury her at night and then to
cover her body that was shrouded with palm
fronds so no one could see her after
she passed away.
That's the Prophet's daughter.
She grew up in the house of whom?
So, modesty is important because once you rip
the modesty out of someone, it is extremely
difficult to get back.
And you'd be surprised how good people and
good households whose parents are practicing Muslims, what
happens with their children in social media.
And what people are exposed to in social
media.
And the way people move and dress and
act and post on TikTok and all these
types of things.
And I'm talking about people like Faraway, I'm
talking about people amongst us.
And this is real.
And we wonder why there's problems and we
wonder that we live in a very, very
difficult time that is filled with fitna.
And we have to be aware of these
things.
And guard your heart.
My honest advice to you as a student
of knowledge, don't, you're not going to miss
anything if you're not on social media.
It's going to be better for your heart.
Those images that affect you.
And the spiritual heart is significantly more sensitive
than the physical eye.
You get the smallest grain of sand or
piece of dirt in your eye and it
starts getting red and it starts watering up.
It starts watering.
Your spiritual eye is even more sensitive.
And unfortunately this can lead to very serious
conditions.
So, as for a man, the public aura
of a man is from the navel to
the knees.
But no respectable man would come to class
without being fully covered.
And if you look at the way we're
supposed to dress, there's not much more showing
from most of the men here in this
room than the sisters.
We're not required to wear a hijab so
our ears and our necks might be showing
and so forth.
But there's not really much more for most
of us in this room now showing than
there is for sisters.
And the closer the clothes are to being
modest, the more beloved they are to Allah
and His Messenger and the more Islamic they
are.
So, if you mean by Islamic clothing that
which is permissible, there's an array of clothes
that are permissible.
And the rules are slightly different for men
than for women when it comes to that.
But the closer clothes are, whatever manifestation they
have of clothing, to modesty, the better.
However, scholars consider anything for which we derive
sexual pleasure prohibited to look at unless it
is of our lawful spouse.
So it's not permissible just to sit and
look at the beauty of the opposite gender.
You have to lower your gaze and stop
looking.
That is haram.
For this reason, the body of a man
is prohibited for a woman to look at
if it arouses her carnal instincts.
Similarly, a man looking at the face and
hands of a woman is also prohibited if
that arouses his carnal instincts, even though that's
not considered to be aura according to some
opinions.
But the first glance is not written against
a person.
But we should be determined people.
You don't want to just walk around and
have your eyes always floating around.
Some people like that.
Always just like looking around.
You go out in public and just looking
all around.
You're driving down the highway and you see
a foul billboard right there.
Don't look at the billboards.
And if you accidentally look, immediately lower your
gaze.
And then, don't let yourself think about what
it is that you saw.
Because this is what happens.
Everything begins with the gaze.
And then the gaze moves the desire.
And then there's desire, and the desire, the
nafs likes the desire.
Even if it's haram, that's why we have
to purify.
And then, you start thinking about things.
And the more you think about it, the
more that it arouses your desire.
And then you think, think, think, think, until
the desire becomes very strong.
And then, that leads to other things that
you do.
And then one step leads to another.
And then you could end up doing something
that is very serious and displeasing to Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
So we protect ourselves by lowering our gaze
and turning away immediately from the thoughts that
we have in our hearts that follow seeing
things.
Now, the first glance is not written against
a person.
However, if one derives pleasure and does not
avert one's glance, and if one doesn't turn
away, or if one follows it with a
second glance, then it is considered to be
a minor sin.
He quotes one of the Udmi here as
saying, is that there is consensus that the
eye is not connected to any enormity, a
major sin.
What is the quickest inroad to the destruction
of the heart?
The two quickest inroads to the heart are
your eyes, number one, and number two, your
ears.
These are the two quickest inroads.
What is it that we see?
The quickest way to spoil the heart is
by letting foul images into the heart.
May Allah ta'ala protect us and preserve
us.
Our eyes are meant to see beautiful things.
To see Allah's creation, to reflect upon what
our eyes are meant to.
To read his book, subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Our eyes are meant to prepare ourselves to
see the best of creation, sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam.
Our eyes are meant to see Allah ta
'ala in the hereafter.
The two quickest ways are from the eyes
and the ears.
Everything that we do with any of our
limbs affects the heart.
But the two quickest ways to preoccupy the
heart and to disturb it and to affect
it are through the eyes and the ears.
Because of the way that sight and sound
affects us as human beings.
We must also guard ourselves against sensory images
that have corrupting influences on the heart.
Much of what is on television and nowadays
social media around us in terms of billboards
and images is actually detrimental to our hearts.
And there's very evil, sophisticated people that are
developing ways to hook us to this stuff.
As we heard in the session with Mr.
Amjad.
We should avert our gaze from these corrupting
influences also.
The exercise for the eyes is to make
a commitment to Allah every morning for 40
continuous days to not look at anything prohibited.
Throughout the day be vigilant and keep in
mind that averting the glance is an essential
element in the practice of protecting the eyes
and thereby the heart.
In other words, you will see things that
are prohibited but count the day as successful
if you averted your glance from them.
And it is an opportunity to get sweetness
in your heart.
Which comes in a hadith.
That if someone is exposed to looking at
something that would be haram and they turn
away from it.
Allah will replace that with a sweetness that
that person finds in the heart.
So you could actually by living in a
society that is filled and Sheikh Abdul Hakeem
has this contention that says do not go
out during the peak season.
And so it's a play on words.
Right?
The P-E-A-K season.
But no, he writes it down as P
-E-E-K.
In other words, like when it's very warm
outside and people are dressed crazy.
He says don't go outside during the peak
season.
When people are all looking at one another
based upon how they're dressed in warm weather.
In other words, protect ourselves.
What is it going to do for you?
If you follow with the necessary conclusion in
your mind what is that gaze going to
do from you?
Other than to spoil our heart and to
preoccupy you.
In our culture we have what could be
termed as in your face bombardment of images
and ads.
As well as an immodest world of fashion
and apparel.
It is thus extremely important that with this
exercise that we not become neurotic about our
situations.
Lowering the gaze is a profound spiritual practice
at any time and place and can be
done with dignity and a naturalness that does
not lead to obsessive behaviors that may be
detrimental and lead to social pathology.
We have to do the very best that
we can but we cannot open up the
doors and act like this is not something
that is serious.
But again, if we would really speak about
what we want to speak about in the
community, the community would tell us that we
are being too hard on them.
But then things happen as a result of
that not following the sacred law of our
Prophet ﷺ.
And the best cure is prevention.
The best cure is to prevent these things
from happening to begin with.
And to encourage students, community and that the
Ummah of our Prophet ﷺ to follow the
boundaries that the sacred law has set.
And even if people around us think it's
strange, they think it's weird and that sometimes
people think that if you don't shake the
hands of the opposite gender that you're being
offensive or if you don't look them in
the eye that you're being rude and that
all these other things that they conjure up,
all these other ideas of this is what
it means and we can explain to people
that very clearly what our Deen calls us
to without being labeled in some of these
ways and in certain situations, it's permissible in
the sacred law to look at the opposite
gender and that for dealings and things of
that nature and buying and selling in other
situations and if someone is older, it's not
like someone who is younger and that someone
who is new to Islam might be slightly
different and someone who is yet to become
Muslim and they're not Muslim, put everything in
its proper place and maintain the balance but
most importantly in all this, protect your heart.
Any questions?
It might not help with lowering the gaze
if it's a habit for them.
I just wanted to Yeah, it begins with
self-control and that you're correct in saying
that if someone is not willing to commit
to self-control and self-restraint marriage might
help a little bit but it's not going
to fully solve the problem.
There's some very serious tendencies now that people
have fallen into and have brought upon themselves
that are making even marriage that much more
complicated and so the point here is that
self-control is where it all starts and
on the topic of marriage, again, if you
talk about the topic of marriage in the
way that it should be spoken about you
start really ruffling people's feathers you start really
ruffling people's feathers and this is why sometimes
that dictates the wisdom is to deal with
these things as openly as you can and
to do the very best you can but
in general my position on that is that
the way that we delay marriage as a
community is a very serious problem it's a
serious problem and I'm very much a proponent
of early marriage in general and it doesn't
mean that it's the only solution and sometimes
people are very irresponsible at younger ages but
I would much rather see a culture where
young marriage is getting married young is encouraged
even if it means that some people that
end up in divorce, that's a significantly less
harm than the other side of what we
actually see happening if we take off our
blinders and really come to terms with what's
happening and it's very easy just to, not
just in terms of the issues that we
discussed earlier but in terms of the other
social problems that we're really dealing with, just
to put on our blinders and think that
everything's okay and there are so many parents
that as long as they don't see any
outward effect on their child that everything's okay
they can just live in this you know
bliss of ignorance type world and think that
they can send their son off to college
or send their daughter off to college or
all of these types of things and just
you know you can have a friend who's
the opposite gender, it's okay, of course you
can have a friend and these types of
things and then when things go sour they
wonder what happened honey there's rules and regulations
that we have when it comes to these
things and again we don't want to be
too hard upon people but at the same
time it's a responsibility that we speak the
truth and back to the same principle that
we spoke about before that the modern world
is no it's not an example of a
successful model when it comes to these matters
it's not what we aspire to the way
that these people are in society we have
ideals that we move towards and the closer
that we are to them the better off
that they'll be any quick questions on that
mmhmm so my question was what advice do
you have for I mean this could be
for men or women but really for the
working woman in terms of when she works
in more male dominated areas and the especially
like if you're also in academics and outside
of academics the how do I explain it's
like offensive so like we already know like
shaking hands is not something that's normal but
also like lack of eye contact or you're
expected to speak in a certain tone and
if you don't want to cause you don't
want that tone to be misconstrued or what
is the advice as you are moving through
the world especially the main thing is how
you carry yourself the main thing is how
you carry yourself and if a woman is
working in a situation like that I would
be very tough strong willed be very direct
and that don't open up the door for
any that gestures or language to be misinterpreted
right and what I would say is that
it is if you can't reach the point
where you lower your gaze all the time
that at least if you acknowledge someone and
then for the majority of the conversation then
look to the side or look down that
is a lot better than just continuously looking
at someone so you have to learn to
navigate these things in a practical way but
I think this is one of the things
that it's very good for sisters to learn
that are in this world and many of
you will be in situations like that through
work, through career of some sort or in
school and then a man is required to
carry himself in a certain way and so
is a sister and I think if you
carry yourself in a certain way people will
get it oh alright I get it, I
can't go there and then you shouldn't tolerate
any nonsense right the first bit of nonsense
that you shouldn't take nonsense from anyone and
call people out right that you say that
again like it's not going to be cool
right or you report someone immediately, close the
door completely right and if someone's in that
realm I think both men and women have
to just carry themselves in a certain way
we have to equip people with the skills
that they need and if we're not we'll
go here and we'll come back Assalamu alaikum
my question is on how a female student's
gaze should be in respect to their male
teachers and if there is any if anything
differed between whether that be in a class
or if there's a lecture taking place or
in receiving answers or having a meeting with
a male teacher in general all of these
same principles apply that someone who's kind of
in a class at a distance in general
just kind of looking towards the front of
the class is very different than being in
like a smaller meeting where you're much closer
and things of that nature but these same
principles apply that in general that lowering the
gaze is how it is that we should
be with the opposite gender that creating that
culture is something that I think is really
important for us to do with its proper
boundaries the same rules apply teachers are not
exempt from the rules right but again that
every situation is different that in general kind
of just looking towards the class in the
direction of the teacher or looking to benefit
any from the teacher as long as there's
nothing that was mentioned here that we just
spoke about that's very different than than being
up close and so forth so the same
rules apply in those situations thank you we
just have one question before we end I
was going to ask regarding earlier when you
were talking about patients tribulation as a whole
for often times it's like external tribulation but
if someone is to undergo emotional or mental
or some form of tribulation internally is it
seen the same and also like if it's
in regards to an addiction they're trying to
overcome like whatever it may be even if
it's something that's permissible but they're trying to
leave it for the sake of like is
that also like a tribulation that applies the
same as an external tribulation in terms of
expiation of sin or like so you're asking
sorry that like basically how do we deal
with addictions yeah yeah and also like like
how we talked about some of the rewards
for like just yeah and so very good
question because it's the nature of our time
even though human beings are always susceptible to
different types of addictions again there's just so
much around us that wasn't there in previous
times it just makes addictions and develop them
so much easier it is so easy in
our time to develop for so many people
drug addictions because it's so prevalent it's so
available right you just in one time with
the wrong person there's drugs that are out
there that you take them one time like
crystal meth and you could get addicted right
and there's serious drug problems in these areas
and other places in the United States of
America and that whether it be a drug
addiction or whether it be that other types
of addictions things are so prevalent in our
society it's so easy to develop these and
this is something that we have to address
at a community level and to be aware
that this is the reality of so many
people and then develop environments in ways to
help people that purge themselves from these addictions
and there's ways of doing so and often
times there's a lot of good that can
be done in a normal religious spiritual routine
to help you with that and then sometimes
the addiction reaches a point where you actually
need professional help and someone to actually help
you get off of that when it becomes
very serious and then we have halal addictions
too like being addicted to eating out at
restaurants or being addicted to meat or being
addicted to sugar or whatever and then you
have addictions that are not that big of
a deal like being addicted to coffee or
something like that I mean coffee, caffeine is
a drug but that's it's a type of
addiction that you absolutely have to drink your
coffee as long as it's not Celsius every
single day that's an okay addiction but we
really want to be addicted to learning we
want to be addicted to knowledge we want
to be addicted to dhikr that's what we
really want to be addicted to so the
best we have to learn the philosophy of
how to overcome addictions and there's things that
we can do depending on what that addiction
is and so forth and in general is
that you that slowly move yourself towards something
that is a replacement for that and you
have to very gently often times that replace
it with something else and so forth and
there's a number of other long list of
things that we can talk about at a
different time but if that's what you're asking
that's how I would see that alright I
think they have class here at 6 don't
they want to get a Qaseer in so
just sing a few lines and then do
the poem Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik
alayhi wa ala ala marhaban bin nabi wal
anbiya wal sahaba yawm qumna asa da'wa
min Allah mujaba marhaban bin nabi wal anbiya
wal sahaba yawm qumna asa da'wa min
Allah mujaba layluna bil liqa wal wuddukna sharaba
indana hla layali alunus maftuh ahbaba hina radda
almasa ballala alashiq sahaba yahtasi min kusil ayn
mughram sababa marhaban bin nabi wal anbiya wal
sahaba yawm qumna asa da'wa min Allah
mujaba hina yadnu al'ata yu'ata lisa
'il jawaba yastagi bil yagin min ba'd mawrid
saraba ya ilahi asa lil ruh da'wa
mujaba li biha yashtafi ma huzun min ma
asaba marhaban bin nabi wal anbiya wal sahaba
yawm qumna asa da'wa min Allah mujaba
bima alamtana rabbi allimna allathi yanfa'una rabbi
fakihna wafakah lana wakarabatil lana fidinina ma ahl
alquthi untha wadhakar rabbi wafikna wa wafikum nima
tarsadi qawlan wafi'ul inkarama warizukul kulla halalin
da'ima wa akhillatki ya ulama nukhfa bil
khairi wa nukfa kulla shar rabbana wasihnana kulla
shu'un wa akir rabbin rida min kulla
uyun wa khdi'anna rabbana kulla duyun qabla
anta tiyana rusulun manun wa ghfir ustar anta
akran man satar wa salatu allahi taghshil mustafa
man ila alhaqqi da'ana wal wafa bikitabin
fihi linnasi shifa wa alil alil kirami shurafa
wa alil sahbi almasabi hul ghurar Allahumma hdina
bi hudak wa ja'alna mimman yusari' fi
ridak wa la tuwallina waliyin siwak wa la
taj'alna mimman khalaf amraka wa asak wa
hasbuna Allah wa ni'ma alwakeel wa la hawla
wa la quwwat illa billahil aliyyil azeem wa
sallallahu ala sayyidina muhammadin wa ala alihi wa
sahbihi wa sallam ya rabbana itarafna bi anna
naktarafna wa anna na asrafna ala ladha ishrafna
fa tub alayna tawba tawsil kulla hawba wasur
lana alawrati wa amini alrawaati wawfil liwalidina rabbi
wal ahli wal ikhwani wasairil khilani wa kulli
dhi mahabba aw jeeratin aw sohba wal muslimina
ajma'a ameen isma'a fadlan wajudan manna
la biktisabin minna bil mustafa ar-rasuli nahdha
bikulli suli bil mustafa ar-rasuli nahdha bikulli
suli bil mustafa ar-rasuli nahdha bikulli salla
wa sallam rabbi alayhi idda al-habbi wa
alihi wa sahbihi idda tutashi as-sohbi wal
hamdulil ilahi fil badi wal tanahi habdan kathiran
da'im ma habbatin nasa'im