Waleed Basyouni – What I learn from my kids

			All look bone
		

			ash hadoo Allah ina
		

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			as you had one bla bla et know all
		

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			all along
		

			as she had one more Madame Rasul law
		

			Yarnell Sloan Allah
		

			Hi. Hola
		

			Hi Yan Alpha hola
		

			hola.
		

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			Noah ILA at
		

			all
		

			hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah salatu salam ala Milena Viva Hoon Amina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi
wa sallam Aloma to Sleeman Kathira Ahmedabad. All praise due to Allah and his prayers and blessings
and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his family, his companions and
his followers until the Day of Judgment, I bear witness that Allah is the only one worthy of worship
and Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his last and final messenger. In more than 30 times in the
Quran, Allah Subhana Allah mentioned the world, the RIA children, offsprings, 19 different chapters
or even more in the Quran, and that just to put emphasis on the importance of
		

			children, because as we know, a family is the cornerstone of any society building any society.
That's why there's so much emphasis on the Quran and the Sunnah and Islam on family. Because they
are the foundations for any a healthy family means a healthy society, a healthy community. And often
when we speak about children talk about this subject, that first thing jumped our mind, how can we
raise them? How can we provide for them? How can we protect them, etc. I understand that that's
natural, and that'd be so solemn said, could look camera and we could look
		

			at each of you is a shepherd, and each of you will be asked about his or her flock. So which is very
famous Hadith in Bukhari Muslim. But
		

			what I would like to address the subject today from a different perspective, I don't want to talk
about children from the perspective of how can we raise them, how can I take care of them? We might
touch upon this tonight and Friday night. But what I want to do in this whole bar is to look at our
children with the lens of learner, there is so much you can learn from your children, as much as
there is so much they can learn from you. Because they still have this filter on this purity that
how Allah subhanaw taala have created them upon and they have so many great attitude. I do believe
we as adults in dire need of looking at these attitudes and adopted adopt these attitudes on life.
		

			Because you're I like this quote here. You know your altitude is determined by
		

			Your attitude, you know how high how far you can go. It's really based on what's your attitude on
life. I never forget when I was with my son when he doing his chemotherapy, I will never forget that
shirt, I actually went and got that shirt. You know, in the hospital, it says the only disability in
life is bad attitude. And that's very true. That's why it'd be so sad upon mankind Halycon NASS for
who Allah can have us, for whoever said, people, all bad, he's the worst. The promises of them said,
this bad attitude will not get you anywhere, except just complaining and being in your place. So
let's just explore some of these beautiful qualities that our kids have. And we had it. But maybe
		

			over the years, we lost some of these, you know, qualities, and I hope that this hope about were
revival these inequalities in us, number one, kids when he talked about kids, one of the things that
stands out perseverance, kids are, you know, do do not give up easily. Whenever they have a goal in
mind, they will do whatever it takes to achieve their goals, they will approach it in many different
ways. And they will just not give up the focus on their goal until they get it asked me about it,
you know, I have them at home, you have my some few smile, too, you know, they will get what they
want. And they will focus and their approach and approach it again, until they get what they want.
		

			As an adult, I wish that we still have that goal oriented, you know, so many of us willing to give
up easily about our dreams, how many dreams we had in our lives when we growing up. It's not because
we found out these dreams are not good. It's because we just give up and our dreams is not any more
driven by these dreams, you know, what we driven by, we are driven by our problems. We're driven by
our obstacles, we're driven by the challenges that we have to deal with it every day. And with this
attitude, you don't allow yourself to be driven by your goal. And just to put this in perspective,
especially since we are in the Black History Month, I just want you to imagine Martin Luther King,
		

			you know, on the steps in Washington, when he was giving his famous speech and what he said, he
said, I have a dream I can imagine a Martin Luther King said I have a problem.
		

			And instead of I have a dream, what a difference. What a difference of approach. There's a big
difference when you as an individual, when we as a community, when as a family driven by our dreams
and goals and hopes, rather, versus driven by our problems. And we just the only thing that we see
and we look at unfortunately, there is even more here no there is worse than that. Which is when we
don't have a goal that we strive for.
		

			I tell this to my kids, and I tell this to my students, I tell this to myself all the time. You
know, lately I like to you know, watch soccer games, you know, you know, I used to do this when I
was younger, and I kind of lost you know, my son hooked me up again to it. And you know, I just one
day asked my son, I can imagine if people play soccer or play basketball, but there is no hoop on
there is no goals.
		

			Just take that out of the equation.
		

			How would you think that we have MBA? Can you imagine Do we have a Super Bowl coming up? Do you
think there is no goals? Just take that out with people will be looking forward for next, you know,
Sunday? Or whatever the Super Bowl games are going to be? Or people looking for World Cup? No. Can
you just passing the ball to each other? What a kind of what a boring game. You know what, that's
exactly how boring your life is when there is no goals. Putting these goals that's why Islams
highlights interesting. There is a big goal you almost live for, which is a goal. It's called agenda
a goal is to you know, and there is other small goals as you go. And that's something that you know,
		

			it makes sense to it make your life make more sense. Let's put it that way. Another thing that about
kids that I love kids before going to school and been told in school being wrong, it me, me bad,
		

			their natural attitude that they are very have a very positive attitude towards mistakes. For them
before we're told, being wrong, it means being bad. They're naturally being wrong. It means that
opportunity for me to learn how many of us we have to learn, you know, sometimes the heart rate
touched the heart service, or the heart surface that means you know, that's dangerous. That's not
right. I learned from them. I grow my mistakes made me grow. Never was a reason for me to be
paralyzed and not to grow in life. And that's something often the adults need to learn
		

			Just people give up just because the fail. You know, the great success in life is not never fail, is
your ability to stand up every time you fail. And that's so deeply deeply rooted in our religion.
Inshallah Papa and the scholars talk about who is better, a person who never commit sin.
		

			person never committed a sin, or a person who committed a sin but repented to Allah span data from
it. And you will see that the majority said, actually, the one who fall into the sin, then repented
is higher level than the one who never committed the sin. First of all, that's not an invitation for
you to sin, but an invitation for you to stand up again in your feet. And to know that there is
always an opportunity to be a better person as you go. Another thing I love about kids the purity of
their heart, they don't hold grudges, they forgive easily. And if you can vet you talk to them and
you you know, try to explain to them, they will forgive, you might resist a little bit. But in the
		

			end of the day, they don't hold it against you.
		

			Oh my god, adults. That's another level, you know, they will never let go, they will never forgive
me. We'll never forget, I always say, forgive and forget. And if you can do both, do one of them, at
least, you know, but you know, there's people just holding grudges against their either children,
spouses, friends, has learned how to move on in your life. This is so important because if you just
gonna hold this kind of negativity with you everywhere you go, you will be so toxic. I know Quran
tells us and teachers, well yeah, for all your spa, whoa, that's exactly forgive and forget failure
for wellness philosophy and edge to spray anytime she called us you forget about him. Because
		

			sometimes it's not about forgiving, it's about forgetting about. Because sometimes you know what,
um, if even if you can forgive, but you need to learn how to forget to move on in your life. And I
will tell you something. When you forgive somebody, you don't set that person's free, you set
yourself free.
		

			Because the moment you forgive that person, you set yourself free from being connected to that
person with that chain of negativity and hatred, and all this kind of negative feelings.
		

			Another thing about kids that I love so much, I don't want my favorite thing, their ability to
adjust.
		

			You know, we make when we see kids, they go to new school, new new neighborhood, new house, they
quickly can adjust. So many of us adult need that quality to be you know, revival again in us. We
need to learn how to adapt. You know what your kids not anymore. A high school kid your skin is a
college is a college kid, you know, is a married man or a married woman, you need to learn your kids
not elementary anymore, middle school, a lot of odd cannot adjust to these changes that happened our
children's life, a lot of us cannot adjust. You know what, whatever business you've been doing is
not working, I need to start looking for another one. I need to learn new things. A lot of people
		

			cannot adjust. And I'll tell you, we learned in biology, anything does not have the ability to
adapt, and to evolve, belong to Jurassic Park. You know, they don't belong to the future, they
belong, they will die, they will not survive. And as a community, we need to learn how to do them.
And that ability to adapt and to adjust and to move on and to grow is an essential, you know,
attitude, an essential element in success in life.
		

			Another thing about kids and this is one of my favorite one as well is laughing
		

			laughter and smiling an average kids, you know, smile around to and laugh around 200 times a day, an
average kids, one average adult, they laugh and smile 14 times a day.
		

			I'll bet you anything. There's a lot of people who weigh less than that. You know, we need to polish
our smile. You know, it's kind of rusty, you know, we need to exercise this more. And I want to give
you a rule from now on. That's the rule that goes in Kleenex center. If you find someone without a
smile, give him one of yours. How's that sound? Sounds good. You know, smile does not make no other
people happy. It's actually make you happy. And because of the lack of time, I want you to go and
google something that we should be proud of as Estonian St. Luke hospital is the leading hospital in
the country and discovering healing through laughters. And I want you to read the story behind that
		

			discovery. It's very interesting story actually. And there's a lot of research to show that you know
a lot of people mashallah they have this you know,
		

			laughing and being happy good sense of humor is something so clear in the in the life of the
prophets Allah. I am personally aware of at least three and one of them I possess three master's
research papers just in collecting the Hadith that speaking about the process our sense of humor,
smiling, joking with the Sahaba and Asha Allah Anna when she was asked how the process alone was at
home. Pilar can act fellow nurses but he can what the best Samantha name but he can what's the best
summon? Innovative op, Beatty Salah salah. He used to laugh with us, he used to smile with us at
home. That's how I should describe the prophets. Allah, Allah, Allah when he comes home. And many of
		

			the Sahaba said the same thing. And he will joke with the companions that will be alone. I know
Marva but you will never say anything but the truth. So Allah said the mechanic guru Illa, Hakka,
you know, smiling is so good and laughter something, you know, we don't want to be especially when
we grow up older, we think the older we get, you know, that grumpy boarder we get, we became like a
closer to be grumpy and to need to do that. I will never get a brother here to the masjid. He's
African American brother. So I said to him once, how old are you mentioned laying your daughter is
very old, yet not very old. I mean, she's she's mature. She's like university teachers. And you look
		

			so young. And he's very active, always walking awesome bicycle, then when he told me his age, so I
would never guessed it. And he said, Chip, you do not black never crack.
		

			That's what it is. It's just, you know, the sense of humor, you know, the beautiful face, you know,
they are very, that's that makes a huge difference and live. One of the things about kids that I
love, trust, kids tend to trust other people's very quickly.
		

			You know, I do believe those who don't have the ability to trust people, live miserable life. I have
a belief, I will rather to be, you know,
		

			and Ben and couple of times from people then to live a life that I don't trust anyone around me. And
I'm always suspicious of people. And unfortunately, so many of us lived in a culture that embedded
an OS that then default that I don't trust others. That's not healthy, by the way. It's good to
teach your kids to be careful, but not to trust. That's a different level. You know, that's why it
is so hard. The Muslim community I found it's so hard for them to trust one another to trust leaders
to there's always like, I deal with a lot of other with a lot of community. Whenever somebody Oh, He
must want this. This he must have a personal game. He has a personal agenda. I don't know where the
		

			money goes out. Allah spent a lot why this attitude, this live in misery.
		

			You know, like people to the accident, even in family, not trusting her husband, others his wife,
trust so beautiful, and it's essential. And it's like, you know, like I read what somebody said, Put
it beautifully said, trust is something that so essential for your life. It's like blood pressure.
You don't feel it. But when you abuse it, it can be deadly. It's essential for your surviving, but
if you abuse it will be deadly. Same thing, trust is essential for any relationship to be
successful. But if you abuse it, it will be deadly.
		

			And trust the ticks used to build and seconds to destroy.
		

			I ask Allah subhanaw taala to make us among those who learn and to grow and to have all those
positive attitudes in life according to Mustafa Allah
		

			hamdulillah whitetail salatu salam, ala Viola and Aviva, who, you know, my brothers and sisters, my
son think that he's better than Muhammad Salah Do you know as a soccer player, you know, my
daughter, I think that she is, you know, more beautiful than Cinderella. You know, my other son
thing that he is as fast as flash, you know, is I'm sure it's not my kids is all of us kids. You
know, when the kids in their early age, they have that sense of confidence.
		

			What happened to us as we grow Why did we lost that sense of confidence in ourselves?
		

			Why don't we walk why our heads up no shoulder is straight, and our back straight
		

			and our shoulder open? That sense of common is so important oh my god Allah and saw a man try to
like walking is
		

			Putting shoulder closing shoulder looking down. I'm not gonna I'm Italian ADINA, you making our
religion look like dead. We're not zombies.
		

			Just be happy be confidence. This is a very important concept in order to legend to his
		

			confidence, not arrogance.
		

			No, that's not confidence does not contradict humility.
		

			Humility is not to think less about yourself, sorry, to think less of yourself.
		

			Humility is to think less about yourself.
		

			Not to think less of yourself is a big difference between the two. And Islam teach us to be common.
And that's something important to put it in your kids. Don't, there's nothing wrong with them to be
dreamy, be be realistic, that's good. But just get that sense of competence and then build it and
then build it in yourself. And please don't destroy each other's confidence. Your wife said, I want
to go back to school, I assure you're going to go back after all those years, you know,
		

			Hey, I told my wife, I'm planning to lose, you know, a couple of pounds before Ramadan? She said,
Good luck with that. Thank you for the encouragement. No, I know I feel you miss times. But you know
what, just don't try it. I'm going to start a business.
		

			You're not going to win, you're not going to make it. Why? Why do we why we wear we deal with each
other like that.
		

			It's important, especially with your kids, don't ever make them lose confidence in themselves. Make
them be realistic, but also with count. Kids are very active.
		

			You know, is amazing is about very active, we always can wait for our kids to start running. And
when they start running, can't wait to just for them to sit down. Unfortunately, you know, many
adults also lost that that's something natural that you remember Sumit in sannan San had definitely
ballooning in San Diego, no heroin. Any minute Hyatt has indominus Huracan motion here on any animal
that when they describe human beings, they describe it as a creature who move around.
		

			So being active is part of who you are in the midst of southern Kenya to becoming an Adze Well, can
you protect me from being lazy?
		

			You know, we need to be more active. I know you work hard.
		

			But you know, it's not acceptable that in the weekend, you became a couch hugger? Or what do you do
just sitting in the couch, I know you're old. I know you. You may be your knees are not bigger, but
doesn't mean that you cannot be active, you still can be at shift. If you want to be active. I'll
give you just 1.11 tip from the center of the process
		

			can be so subtle and liars. Don't share your October where where anyone else if we're not at a solid
lie, sell them? Well, NSA upon masala Neelima for alcohol, a fact one of the thing about the process
of them, he never asked people to do things for him for him, he will do it himself. You know what
you want a cup of water, go get your water.
		

			You know you want to do something, do it yourself. Don't ask people to do it never said didn't ask
His servant to do things for him. He will do it himself saw something. And I'll guarantee you if you
start having this attitude, you will be active or you will see you getting this, you know,
		

			steps goals that you want to achieve every day in your life.
		

			The end, there is a lot to learn from these beautiful little creatures that living in your home or
who you used to be used to have all these qualities. Make sure that you rediscover yourself. And
make sure that this is will inspire you to make some real changes. And remember, your attitude is
what will determine how far you can go and ask Allah Subhana Allah by His names and attributes to
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do you feel older than a llama for older than older? Yeah, Tina. You know a young Sharon Phaeton you
know and make you know a young man of Islam.
		

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