Wael Ibrahim – Unmasking the Hidden Dangers of Visual Cocaine- Understanding Digital Addiction
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In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most
Merciful.
Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, alhamdulillah, welcome everyone,
all audience to the MAP official YouTube link,
YouTube channel, alhamdulillah tonight we will have a
session, a very important and interesting session with
us, an international renowned speaker.
I would like to ask everyone if you
could also please share this link to your
friend, to your family, and hopefully many of
us would receive benefit from tonight's session, alhamdulillah.
So feel free also to comment and to
like, as well as to ask questions throughout
this whole session.
And you don't need to stay to the
end of the session to ask questions, so
do that anytime, and I will ask any
of your questions to our speaker.
But you do need to wait until the
end, we have a quiz and hopefully you
would be able to answer the quizzes and
we have prizes for you to win, alhamdulillah.
And hopefully you will also get knowledge, inshallah,
also with blessings and barakah from Allah subhanahu
wa ta'ala.
Alhamdulillah, before we begin, I would like to
introduce you to our speaker for tonight.
So allow me to introduce our speaker, Shehwai
Ibrahim is an esteemed author, international speaker, mentor,
marriage counselor, and * addiction educator.
He is the founder of the AWARE Academy,
a platform dedicated to helping those who are
struggling with * addiction, so this AWARE Academy
is based in Australia.
He is also the author of several books,
those which are related to our topic tonight
includes, I'll mention three, first is a book
entitled Change, a Motivational System to Break Free
from Undesirable Habits, Especially *.
The second book is Beat It, 50 Plus
Shades of Hope, and his latest work entitled
AWARE, Finding Out Who You Are Without *.
Brother Ibrahim is a certified master life coach,
a holder of Bachelor of Arts in Islamic
Studies, and is currently the student counselor at
the Australian Islamic College in Perth, Australia.
We are honored to have brother Ibrahim tonight
with us, live from Perth, Australia.
How are you, Sheh?
Alhamdulillah, Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh to one and all.
Waalaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, we are excited, so let
us begin with looking at some context regarding
our topic for today.
The topic of our discussion today is Unmasking
the Hidden Dangers of the Visual Cocaine.
According to the study carried out in 2021
in Malaysia, there's this study that showed that
there's a high prevalence of * exposure among
Malaysian college students, especially among the males.
So in this study, which was conducted in
Penang, Penang is one of the states in
Malaysia, brother So the study conducted among 986
college students in Penang, among nine colleges, 986
students who were age 18 to 25, and
they found out that these students, among all
of this, 74.5% had already watched
*.
And another finding is that those who frequently
watched * had already began watching * since
the age of 14 years old.
And other researchers showed quite similar findings, for
example, one of the research in UKM, University
of Kebangsaan Malaysia, for example, showed that there
is a high increasing rise in exposure to
* among teenagers.
So this is something very much worrying for
us, especially in a Muslim majority country, Muslim
country, where majority of Malaysians are Muslims, up
to 70%.
So we need to do something.
So today with us is Sheikh Wahid Ibrahim,
who is very much experienced dealing with people
who have addiction to *.
So I'd like to ask the first question.
And to kickstart our discussion, let's first break
down the title.
So the title is *, unmasking the dangers
of the visual cocaine.
We understand that cocaine is a highly addictive
drug that can lead to a lot of
negative impact to a person who takes it.
And in Malaysia, it's illegal.
So cocaine is illegal.
So Sheikh Wahid, the title of discussion today
refers to * as a visual cocaine.
Why do you think this is a good
comparison?
Could you explain a bit more to us?
JazakAllah khairan and thanks to all those who
are involved in bringing this event, inshallah, to
light.
Alhamdulillah.
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Alhamdulillah.
Salatu wassalam ala Rasulillahi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
First of all, brother, I have resigned my
post as the counselor of the Islamic College
in Perth.
So I just wanted to correct this bit
of information, inshallah, before we begin.
And secondly, cocaine, it's not just prohibited in
Malaysia, it's prohibited globally.
So it's the most deadliest drug on planet
Earth.
And the reason why * is compared to
cocaine addiction are the following, inshallah ta'ala.
But before that, I wanted to direct the
audience and those who are watching us to
this amazing book called The Drug of the
New Millennium, The Brain Science Behind Internet *
Use.
This is by Mark Kesselman.
Mark Kesselman.
And this book, by the way, has been
published in the year 2007.
And ever since, the research was around this
topic and people were comparing * addiction to
hard drugs.
Now for the sake of the time, Dr.
Ashraf, I have prepared a written answer because
I don't want to leave off any of
the essential information for the readers.
This webinar is meant to be an educational
one and so I wanted every bit of
the topic to be covered, inshallah ta'ala,
because the video, I believe, will be up
online on your pages, on my pages, for
generations to come, inshallah ta'ala.
So allow me just to start reading quickly
the answers to save the time and to
cover the answers from all angles, inshallah ta
'ala.
The reason why the scholars in this subject
have compared * addiction to cocaine is number
one, the neurochemical impacts on the brain.
So just like cocaine, * triggers a surge
of dopamine in the brain, creating what exactly?
A powerful rush of pleasure and excitement, just
like hard drugs or any other substance.
This neurochemical response can lead to real addiction,
just like any other substance addiction, as the
brain starts to crave this imagery later on
and with more stimulation to achieve the same
high.
And on the long run, that's the problem
with addiction, on the long run, the brain
will not be satisfied with this imagery and
as a result, the second reason why it
is compared is the escalation factor, escalation and
tolerance.
Just as drugs users usually require increasing of
the doses, I was a smoker back in
the days, may Allah forgive us all, and
this is exactly what happened to me.
I started with one cigarette only to end
up with one pack a day.
So just like drugs and how users increase
the doses to achieve the same desirable outcome,
* users also find themselves escalating or find
themselves needing more exciting imagery because the previously
watched * content is no longer pleasurable today.
So they start searching for more and more
and more and in doing so, they escalate,
they start watching bizarre stuff.
Many people are reporting that they start watching
* or homosexuality content and they look upon
themselves as straight, for example.
Number three, also the withdrawal symptoms.
When those people try to quit the content,
regular users of * can experience those annoying
withdrawal-like symptoms when attempting to quit for
a period of time, including and these symptoms
including but not limited to anxiety, mood swinging,
irritability, subhanallah, and intense craving for the content
that they used to watch.
So these are just some of the main
reasons why * and any other visual addictive
behaviors like gaming, like social media, like online
shopping are compared to drugs and other heavy
substance that are available out there.
May Allah protect us all.
We hope that understanding the dangers of *
similar to the addiction of drugs, we can
actually try to tackle this issue similar to
the dangers of drugs.
Maybe one day make it, well now *,
even in our country, we try as much
as possible.
The government tries to get rid and delete
all the websites, but every single day there's
always one new website being available.
So that's very dangerous and it's always back
to us.
That's why it's very important for us to
understand as consumers of media that the government
may ban all the websites on planet earth
and this industry would introduce more of that
websites as you rightly said.
The only way to cut out this from
our existence is to stop the demand and
the users themselves to stop to watch or
visit these sites.
If there is no demand, as you know,
there will be no supply.
So we need to start by ourselves to
block our ways from reaching these websites inshallah.
That's very true.
But among the other challenges is that the
teenagers, those groups that are very much vulnerable.
So adolescence we understand is a time of
heightened curiosity, emotional development and digital engagement and
making this group of people more vulnerable to
the harmful behaviors like * addiction.
So understanding the root causes of vulnerability can
help us address the issues more effectively within
our communities.
So with this in mind, I'd like to
hear your thoughts on what would be the
contributing factors that make youth particularly vulnerable to
* addiction?
There are a few factors.
Number one, the developing of the brains at
that young age.
So what happens is the prefrontal cortex, the
frontal lobes of the brain, which are responsible
for our decision making ability, focus, impulse control
and so on are not fully developed.
These lobes are not fully developed until mid
20s.
And that makes young people in particular very
vulnerable and susceptible to addictive behavior.
Secondly, of course, the curiosity factor.
Our children will go to the danger, even
though you will advise them millions of times,
don't go there.
Be careful of this.
Be careful of that.
The more you insist on your advice to
your kids, they are always curious.
They wanted to know why.
And that's why part of our discussion, we
talk about parenting and the roles in this
whole issue, because a conversation is necessary.
Education is necessary.
But curiosity and exploration, you know, youngsters at
the time, they are very curious about their
sexuality.
When they started to feel things and sensations
in the body, they start becoming curious.
And * can exploit this curiosity nature or
natural curiosity in their lives, providing an easy
access to unlimited sites of that nature.
Second, thirdly, is that our kids today in
2024 and 20 years, maybe back, they are
very digital savvy.
Not like you and I, Dr. Ashraf.
I'm not sure how old are you, but
I'm a little bit younger than you.
OK, but what I mean is like back
in the days.
Yeah.
Back in the days, we were so ignorant
about technology.
You know, we weren't we weren't really familiar
with with with many things like that's why
now our phones, smartphones, because there are a
lot of functionality to it.
Back in the days, only a few buttons
and you're good to go.
So because our this generation is very digital
savvy and technology savvy, they can easily access
the way to * and all of that
have contributed to the the prevalence of *
among young, young, young people in particular.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you mentioned just now regarding the *
addiction in the first response to the first
question you mentioned about how its effect towards
depression and anxiety.
So in general, about our mental health.
And I think these are among the pressing
issues in Malaysia, also amongst teenagers and young
adults.
So from your own experience dealing with those
who struggle with *, how does exposure to
* lead to mental health crisis and emotional
well-being among young people?
Allahu Akbar.
Alhamdulillah, I'm not sure if you are aware
of my latest work on the subject.
This book is called * is Mental.
And the tagline of the book is Mental
Health Crisis Caused by * Consumption.
So in that book, I have compiled only
12 mental illnesses that could like that *
could become a contributor to them.
So I'm not claiming here that all those
who are suffering from these diseases are *
addicts.
Don't get me wrong.
But what I'm saying is that * could
lead to these mental illnesses.
So I have compiled a lot of research.
And the good news is that Alhamdulillah, this
book has been backed up by a team
of medical doctors from the Philippines.
So I'm not a doctor myself, but I
have done the research and sent it to
them.
They went through everything and they send their
approval that this book is medically proven, Alhamdulillah.
In that book, I have compiled like, let
me just go through the table of content
quickly to let the readers know what *
could lead them to at one point in
time.
May Allah protect us all.
Ameen Ya Rabbil Alameen.
But I have mentioned, for example, * and
low self-esteem because of the comparison factor.
When you start comparing your body parts with
those actors and actresses who've been selected by
the industry to just cause arousals.
So when you look at these things and
the performance and whatnot, which many people are
unaware that a scene that you see for
five, 10 minutes is scripted and it's scripted
very well to hook you on these content
for life to come.
So low self-esteem, social anxiety, * leads
to isolation and isolation is number one enemy
to sobriety.
If you wanted to quit, you have to
go in the open and live in community.
That's why SubhanAllah, in Islam, we are told
to always surround ourselves with groups.
Alaykum bil jama'a.
Umar ibn al-Khattab radiyallahu anhu wa ba'd,
the Prophet ﷺ advised us always to be
around the jama'a, congregation.
That's why praying in the masjid, in congregation,
is more rewardable than praying by yourself behind
closed doors.
You see?
So in every aspect of the matter, being
around people is way better.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said that every individual
tend to follow the religion or the way
of life of his or her friend.
If your friends are good people, religious people,
you will be like them, simply stated.
And if they are on the wrong, if
you are hanging out with the wrong crowd,
you will be like them and so on.
Trauma.
Many people, Dr. Ashraf, probably have read more
research in that area, that the reason why
they go to * is to numb the
pain of their traumatic experiences that they had
in the past.
There are many people who were sexually harassed
or sexually traumatized when they were young or
they have seen their role models doing something
shameful and as a result, this trauma haunted
them for years and years and years up
until the present moment.
And only * and self-pleasuring could numb
that pain temporarily.
And so they find it as a coping
mechanism with their traumatic experience.
Mental conditioning.
You know, * leads to the conditioning the
person to believe that this is what they
see behind screens.
These are sexual pleasure.
This is the way how to treat our
wives and our husbands.
And as a result, when you actually are
confronted with a real life partner, you fail
to function sexually.
And then I mentioned about depression, narcissism, shame,
tolerance, mood swinging, emotional detachment, decision impairment, and
of course addiction.
So if we open the door of mental
illnesses and *, we will not end this
discussion.
In fact, had I had more time to
actually dedicate to this project, I would have
gone for part 2, part 3, part 4
on how * could lead to the destruction
of our mental capacity and mental ability.
And subhanAllah, Dr. Ashraf, any student of knowledge
out there, Islamic knowledge who studied any course
on Sharia knows that the main objective why
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala revealed the Sharia,
revealed the Deen, one of them, one of
the main objectives is to protect our mind.
And we see now that * could destroy
it.
So those who are into it run away.
Yeah.
So maybe another aspect of it, maybe looking
at the angle of love and intimacy and
maybe respect.
So people would often associate sexual * with
the feeling of love.
But how is this being seen for those
people who are addicted to *?
Yes.
So as I mentioned, those who are, walayatullah,
consumed by *, their understanding of love will
change.
It will become basically objectifying the female or
objectifying the male.
Because we wanted to bring to our listeners
and those viewers that * is impacting every
segment in our society, including females.
So the more you watch these things, then
you start looking at real people in your
midst, your friends, your neighbors, your colleagues and
so on, as * objects.
And so when you get married, you would
not try to become intimate with them physically
only or sexually, sorry, you will not try
to intimate with them emotionally, but rather all
the connection between you and that individual be
physical, pure physical, pure sexual, walayatullah.
So that could twist your understanding of sexual
pleasure and sexual intimacy.
Because as I mentioned earlier, the brain had
conditioned you to attain sexual pleasure through screens
and pixels.
And when you are now with a real
life partner, you lose all this connection.
There is no any emotions involved anymore.
You mentioned just now, Sheykh Wael, regarding we
need to run away from *.
But sometimes there's pop ups and so on
happening day to day, whenever we look at
the websites and so on.
Let me just read some data from the
MCMC, which is the body that oversees the
contents in social, not social media, on the
Internet in Malaysia.
So the Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission says
it has already received 120 complaints regarding child
*.
This is specifically talking about child * on
various platforms since 2018.
And this is especially concerning after the pandemic
COVID-19.
So they have blocked 407 websites containing child
* since 2015 until even a couple of
years back.
But we still have new contents, new websites.
So in today's digital age, where the explicit
content is available, easily accessible, what could be
the practical steps that young people can do
to protect themselves or break free from falling
into the trap of *?
So this can never be done only by
young people, Dr. Ashraf.
This requires a holistic approach.
But it will fall under the same category
that I wanted to share with you right
now.
So in schools, institutions, homes, we must number
one, install what is known today in the
field of cyber safety filters or blockers.
So we have to apply that in almost
every institution.
Governmental offices, they know about it, like, you
know, people in high positions in the government,
they know these things.
Of course, with the help of VPNs, everything
goes.
That's why it has to be collective support.
So even though young people would need those
filters on their phones, but parents must monitor
because they might also, you know, install other
softwares that can bypass these filters.
So there are many available out there, like
Covenant Eyes, like Mitnani, like Bark, like Blocker
X.
I'm not trying to promote them, but actually
those who are serious about protecting their family
members, I think they should go and install
these filters.
In fact, I'm sending a plea to everyone
who's watching us that all these websites that
I just mentioned, all these apps and blockers
and softwares that are doing great in the
market of cyber safety are all done by
non-Muslims.
We don't have one single, one single software,
which I'm working on now.
All the data is with me.
Everything is ready.
Just we need some investors to actually bring
about one Muslim app that can protect the
internet from falling, our children, I mean, from
falling prey to these contents.
So may Allah protect us all.
So number one, we use the filtering system
and software.
Second, always enable parental control on all social
media platforms, because social media, unfortunately, is not
immune from producing or from having these content
available.
In fact, what was known as Twitter now
has permitted, officially permitted and made it lawful
to actually produce * on their platform.
And as you can imagine, if you just
go around a search on the age group
that are using what is known now as
X platform, formerly known as Twitter, you will
see that big number of users are under
the age of 18.
Use accountability partner software.
So there are blockers, just like I mentioned
a while ago.
And there are also softwares that relies on
accountability, which means if the user himself or
herself are addicted, they need somebody else to
download the software on their phones to monitor
the online behavior of that particular individual.
So that's called an accountability partner software in
case somebody is tempted or try to access
those content.
The accountability partner will get a notification on
the phone.
You see, the system of community and community
support, which is the next tip here, is
absolutely essential.
When we are together in the same boat,
we will be saved.
But those who will not board the boat,
just like the Prophet ﷺ said, you know,
the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ is just
like the boat of or the ship of
Noah.
Whoever board that boat will be saved and
whosoever will not board it will be alone
behind closed doors, scrolling their lives away on
bed.
Of course, they will be drowned in the
filth of this industry, unfortunately.
Alhamdulillah.
So I think at the end, one of
the best approaches would be to follow the
Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ and the ways
which Islam educates us.
So maybe going into that.
Sorry, sorry to interrupt.
Go ahead.
So my question would be related to that.
So how can faith and spirituality serve as
a protective shield against *?
Brother, you are breaking me up, you are
breaking me up in this one.
So my question would be related to what
I mentioned just now regarding spirituality.
Yes.
Am I OK?
Yes.
Now I can hear.
Yes.
So back to, again, the teachings of the
Prophet ﷺ and the teaching of Islam.
So how can we use faith and spirituality
as a protective shield?
Against * addiction.
So what does what role does spiritual development
play in recovery as well as prevention?
Absolutely, a big, big role.
We're Muslims, we're Muslims.
We are the slaves of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala, not the slaves of our desire.
Allahu Akbar.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala told us in
the Qur'an regarding Surat al-Fatiha, he
introduced himself, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, the
most merciful, the extremely merciful to all, to
one and all.
But at the same time, he also introduced
our role in this dunya.
And he told us that when we worship
Allah, we should say, Iyyaka na'budu wa
iyyaka nasta'een, which means you alone, Ya
Allah, we enslave ourselves too.
We are the slaves of Allah and you
alone, Ya Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, we
ask for help.
So, number one, spirituality, at least give us
that door of hope to run to Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala and ask him for
his help, because we know that he's powerful
and capable to take us out of this
dark phase that many people are going through.
Second, Islam taught us about something called taqwa,
God consciousness.
Every time a person is viewing these, walayat
bil adis, these content, he is always reminded,
even though he's sinful, he's always reminded that
Allah is overwatching him, that he's being monitored
by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Despite his craving, and of course, despite the
addictive behavior and the compulsion that he's going
through, he's still aware that Allah is there.
So increasing taqwa in our lives, and taqwa,
by the way, for those who maybe don't
know what it is, taqwa means to create
a barrier between yourself and anything that may
anger Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
That's basically, in a nutshell, what taqwa is.
Taqwa includes the fear of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala regarding his punishment, because as much
as Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala talked to
us in the Qur'an about Jannah, he
also described hellfire.
As much as Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
introduced himself as the most merciful, the forgiving,
the loving, and so on, he also introduced
himself as shadid ul-iqab, or severe in
punishment.
So we cannot just take one aspect of
Allah and neglect the rest.
We have to be reminded.
And this is where taqwa comes in, to
remind us that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
will not do injustice in the least.
So be careful.
Repent.
And this is another aspect.
Islam provides that door that every time you
relapse, don't ever give up hope.
Don't ever give up on Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala.
Dr. Ashraf, I have noticed in the past
many, I think five to six years now,
many people are actually literally leaving Islam because
of their addiction to *.
And you may ask how?
What is the relationship?
The relationship is the relapse cycle.
They keep on relapsing and then repenting and
then relapsing and then repenting, failing to realize
that addiction has been already engraved in their
brain.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will not change
anyone or any group of people unless they
start changing what's within themselves.
Allah will not magically change the addictive pathway
that you have created.
So people think that because they're relapsing again
and again and repent again and again, that
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is no longer
exist.
May Allah protect us all.
Look how * could lead people too.
And we're Muslims.
People are zombie now.
You just, you know, the idea of being
a zombie is that you are, you're behaving
as if you're alive, but internally you're dead.
Yes.
That's what some Muslims have been, have reached
to as a result of the addiction to
*.
So repentance is that beautiful hope.
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said in the
Qur'an, Tell my
slaves who have transgressed against themselves.
Who sin day and night, despair not from
the mercy of Allah.
For Allah forgive all sins.
So don't ever give up hope on Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Thirdly, lowering the gaze.
Can you imagine in the desert 1,400
years ago, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala revealed
an ayah that is the ultimate solution to
* addiction.
Wallahi, there is no better solution than training
your eyes to look to that which is
lawful.
There is no better solution because the more
you stare, the more you store.
Remember this, the more you stare, the more
you store.
You stare at haram, you store the haram.
You stare at halal, you store the halal.
And the more you stare at that or
look at that which is beautiful and pure,
the more you purify your heart, the more
you purify your heart, the better your organs
will behave.
That's why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
said, indeed, there is a piece of flesh
in the human body that if it is
sound, everything else follow.
And that is the heart.
Right.
And what is the connection between the heart
and the eyes and the mind?
Is that human camera, that human camera when
it captures something, it is stored in the
brain.
And once that becomes the thoughts, your heart
becomes either infected or purified.
Depends on what you have looked at.
Subhanallah, this teaching has been there in the
Quran one more than one thousand four hundred
years ago.
Mashallah.
Lowering the gaze.
And if you read those ayat of surah
al-mu'minoon about lowering the gaze and how
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala commanded men and
women to lower their gaze, you'll find the
next part of the same ayah that as
a result of lowering the gaze, your private
parts will be protected.
Allahu Akbar.
Look at this.
So I go on and on.
And if you do that, you will strengthen
your willpower, which is one of the main
things that any addiction damages, basically.
And that is you don't have willpower of
your own anymore.
That's a beautiful, that's a beautiful quote.
Well, I think there's there's two comments citing
what you just mentioned.
The more you Junita mentions, the more you
say, the more you store.
Nur Atira Muhammad Yunus commented also the same
thing.
The more you stare, the more you store,
break the cycle.
Yes, I think that's a very important take
home message.
Mashallah.
So before I we have about less than
10 minutes.
So before I end with the last question
for you, Sheikh, I would like to ask
the viewers, if you have any questions, feel
free to drop your question in the comment
section so that we can benefit from Sheikh
Wael for tonight's session, inshallah.
So, yeah, feel free to post any questions
here or maybe any reflections, as you have
already done, like mentioning and quoting this very
beautiful.
You stare.
The more you stare, the more you store.
All right, so my last question, Sheikh Wael,
regarding so you have a lot of experience
dealing with those people who already are being
addicted to *.
Maybe any stories that you could share with
us, any success stories from your own experience
coaching those people affected with * so that
we would be able to know that there
is still a way for those people who
are undergoing and trying, struggling to heal.
Alhamdulillah, I've been dealing with people, as you
mentioned, for the past many, many years.
Alhamdulillah.
And there is not just a single success
story, Brother Ashraf, that comes to mind.
But I could say, as I mentioned before
in an interview with Sheikh Bilal Asad recently,
that Alhamdulillah, the Aware Academy, the little organization
that we founded to assist people.
And by the way, the Aware Academy, its
effort is divided into three areas.
One is raising awareness, just like Malaysian Against
*, what you guys have been doing, Mashallah.
Second is treating those who are addicted.
And thirdly, train the trainers, train people in
perhaps different fields like imams, parents, even psychologists
and those people who are not exposed to
clients with addictive behavior like this to help
them, to help them in their work, to
assist those who are addicted to *.
So in the past many years, Alhamdulillah, we
have observed 88 percent recovery rate, 88 percent.
And this is something amazing.
And Alhamdulillah, the reason being that we are
not focusing on the addiction itself.
So when clients come to us, they are
sometimes after two or three sessions, they will
keep on asking, you never talked to me
about addiction until now.
I said, yeah, because that's not our main
focus.
Our main focus is to design a lifestyle.
Just like what you mentioned earlier, Dr. Ashraf,
if we followed the Sunnah, we would never
go wrong.
If we followed Islam, Wallahi, we would never
go wrong.
So what we do with any person with
this compulsive addictive behavior is to design for
him a lifestyle that is based on the
Qur'an, based on the Sunnah and the
best of all generations, the companions of the
Prophet ﷺ.
When we do that, we tighten almost all
avenues that may lead to relapses.
Even if you want to relapse, you will
not be able to because we have designed
an environment that is so protective.
We have created circles in your life, people,
support in your life that will make it
absolutely hard for you to relapse.
And that's the main reason of Alhamdulillah, the
high success rate.
So there is no single story that I
could share.
But maybe I will refer to the first
ever person who came my way to confess
his addictive behavior to me, who at that
time was 18 years old.
And at that time, may Allah protect us
all, wanted to actually end up his life.
He wanted to kill himself as a result
of his daily participation on these on these
sites.
And Alhamdulillah, I worked with him back then.
I was in Hong Kong City.
I worked with him for about a year
and a half.
And Alhamdulillah, by the end of the period,
he was sober completely.
And some maybe will hear this for the
first time because the brother started to come
out now and start talking about his experience.
But actually, he's part of the Awil Academy
now, helping people who are addicted to *
today, Alhamdulillah.
MashaAllah, that's a very good and success story.
So we've got a few questions, brother Wa
'il.
So first would be from Aziana Hassan, asking
the question on how to increase awareness of
parents on the danger of * among their
kids as this topic is still considered taboo.
I think in Malaysia, talking about * is
taboo.
So maybe how do they instill awareness to
parents who talk about the dangers of *?
Believe me, my dear sister Aziana, that *
is not only a taboo in Malaysia.
* is a taboo all over the world,
including the Western world, which we believe or
which we think that * for them is
normal.
No, it's not.
It's also a taboo topic to discuss, even
though they have the concept of freedom to
be limitless.
But when it comes to * addiction and
its impact and all that, it is a
taboo.
It is also, you know, pushed under the
carpet, as they say.
But how can we do the unthinkable to
talk to people about this topic that is
scary, that is not welcome in our home,
is by increasing increasing conversation around that which
is uncomfortable.
How, brother Wa'il, just start opening your
mouth.
Believe it or not, Dr. Ashraf, the first
time I spoke about this issue, I was
in Malaysia.
The first time ever I opened my mouth
about *, I was on the stage in
front of about two thousand five hundred participants
in one of the conferences.
And I was given 20 minutes presentation and
I talked about *.
And in that presentation, I remember vividly I
actually said, here is my number, here is
my email.
Contact me if you are addicted and I
will help you.
That's what I said.
And I left my details and I ended
my presentation.
I went to the hotel room.
Wallahi, brother Ashraf, on that same night, I
called the organizer and he's alive today and
he quoted me.
In a year later on the same in
the same conference, he quoted me.
He said that last year we had a
presentation about * and we received on that
night three hundred and twenty emails from those
participants asking for help.
So prior to that, prior to that, it
was very difficult for me to speak about
the topic.
After I opened my mouth, everybody started coming
forward.
So I believe to break the taboo of
anything, we have to normalize the conversation about
it.
Initially, it would be difficult for parents to
accept.
Sooner or later, they will actually understand the
value of the conversation, but they will also
understand the danger of this content and they
will do the needful.
So we have to start somewhere.
We can't just say it's taboo how to
do it.
We have to speak about it.
We have to invite parents in school and
provide them with these presentations and give them
some tips on how to protect their homes
and how to start a conversation with their
with their kids.
The West now are doing the same thing.
They are in America, for example, there is
a lady who wrote a book called Good
Pictures, Bad Pictures, teaching parents how to address
the issue of * to young kids, talking
to young people now as young as seven
and eight is essential, not necessarily to mention
the word *, but at least to describe
that there are images out there that are
harmful.
And you start training them.
Why, Sheikh, we have to speak to young
kids at that age, isn't it?
You know, you're opening their eyes to something
haram and so on.
Sister and brother in Islam are listening to
me.
One in 10 * users today is under
the age of 10.
And just to give you perspective, one of
the largest websites that produces these content boasts
about 42 billion visits to their website in
the year 2019 alone.
Forty two billion visits.
One in 10 is under the age of
10.
You do the math and then come and
tell me that we shouldn't talk to young
kids.
May Allah protect us all.
Normalizing the conversation is the solution, in my
opinion.
We've got a few more questions and comments.
Maybe I'll just say Rosmawati Zainal send the
salam.
Assalamu alaikum, brother Wa'ayel and Dr. Ashraf,
wa'alaikumussalam.
Muhammad Akram bin Shamsuri asked a question, how
to initiate awareness for a person that consumes
* casually, claimed only as coping mechanism and
feels OK with it.
Yeah, any coping mechanism has, you know, two
edges of the story.
One is harmful and one beneficial.
If you are leaning on the beneficial side,
then Alhamdulillah.
For example, if your coping mechanism is to
walk for an hour or two and that's
OK.
Your doctor said walking for you is good.
It's good coping mechanism and there is nothing
haram about it.
Go for it.
But if coping mechanism could lead you to
drinking alcohol until you get drunk and sleep
and numb your pain for 24 hours, then
it's harmful coping mechanism.
*, as we know, it's not just addictive.
It's not just causing a lot of harms,
but it's also haram.
It's prohibited.
And Islam is a religion, is a religion
of legislation.
It's not a religion of suggestions.
Allah SWT does not suggest if you can,
please don't watch haram.
No, no, no.
It's a law.
It's an order.
It's a legislation.
So Allah will never make a coping mechanism
haram for someone.
I mean, Allah will not give you a
haram tool to cure you.
Some people, they said drink beer because it's
good for the kidney.
Partly, partially it's correct.
And some people, they say beer has some
substance that can be cured for those with
kidney diseases.
But alcohol in it is haram.
Therefore, we cannot use a haram substance to
cure our bodies.
There is no cure in any haram substance
that Allah made haram, Allah made unlawful.
So if any coping mechanism, the tool itself
is haram, then we cannot rely on it.
We have to go and seek other help
and seek other advice from professionals to get
us out of that particular addictive behavior and
lead us towards something as that is more
beneficial and more acceptable.
Maybe this is another question that is quite
related to the issue that you just mentioned,
Ismail, Ismailuddin Fitri asked this question.
* is considered normal nowadays, including among youngsters
and even Muslim families.
How to make them aware that it is
not normal?
I don't believe that people consider * normal,
because if that's the case, then people on
the dining table or people on the dinner,
you know, nighttime movie night or something, they
will be watching * together.
And that's never the case.
* is an individual behavior.
Unless there are some married couples nowadays, of
course, it's been happening.
Either the husband is addicted and will force
* on his wife.
And then in the process, she becomes addicted
herself and it becomes normal to them, but
they will never show it to the kids.
If it's normal, why, why, why don't invite
the kids as well and watch with you?
You see?
So it's never normal.
It's never normal.
But it's maybe you misuse maybe the word
we could say prevalent, super prevalent.
It becomes common among youngsters, but it's not
normal.
They know it's wrong.
They don't want it, believe it or not.
I think there was a statistics.
I just forgot the exact numbers.
But group of kids around 12 to 16
years of age were interviewed, those who were
addicted to *.
And they themselves believe that they are compelled
on watching them.
They don't want to watch the imagery, but
they're compelled.
That's the addictive behavior described here.
So, no, it's not normal.
It is common.
And as I mentioned, if it is common
that much, then conversation and education must become
common around the same topic.
To counter that commonality.
OK, so there's a comment by Shuhada.
I think first she responded to the event
that you mentioned when you were in Malaysia.
It's on faith event, right?
Sheikh Wael, is that true?
What's that on faith events?
The one that you mentioned when you were
being asked about *.
So you went to Malaysia and somebody asked
you, was that the name of the event?
It wasn't on faith events.
Faith events is very recent.
I've been doing this for many, many years.
So I don't have to mention the exact
name of the conference.
That's irrelevant.
OK, so she asked also a follow up
question.
So Salam, Sheikh Wael, if that person keep
on relapsing after doing the tawbah, does it
mean the previous tawbah is lacking?
Just wondering what are the additional dua or
deeds to avoid these things?
Jazakallah, Sheikh.
Tawbah by itself, if it is done sincerely
for the sake of Allah, Allah alone is
the one who can accept the tawbah.
We cannot evaluate whether the tawbah, the previous
tawbah was invalid or valid.
This is something Allah alone can observe.
But what I would say is that if
you repented and then relapsed, it means that
you have not done other things with tawbah
to protect you and prevent you from a
second relapse.
What is the second thing that you need
with tawbah?
Community, avoiding isolation, installing all these blockers.
Making it very difficult for yourself to relapse
again.
If you wanted to lose weight, what do
you do?
You keep on eating pizzas and bringing all
these snacks and putting them around the house
or making it absolutely difficult for you to
reach out and grab those snacks that add
calories into your body and makes you gain
weight and so on.
That would be the solution is to avoid
the source of relapses.
And what is the source of relapses usually
is isolation, loneliness, being alone behind closed doors
with this shaytan.
That's it.
You and this alone.
What are you going to do?
And you know that you're addicted.
And once the craving pops up, once the
dopamine gets into control, you're clouded, you're blinded.
You cannot see.
So we never say that the tawbah is
unacceptable or was not right.
No, it was acceptable.
But you ruined it by the relapse.
So you need to make another tawbah and
keep on making the tawbah.
Perhaps Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la
waiting for one extra tawbah to cleanse you
completely.
But addiction will never just go away by
tawbah.
Addiction will never just be erased from your
brain because you made a tawbah.
You made a tawbah because you feel bad,
and that's a good thing.
You know, when you feel guilty, it pushes
you towards goodness.
It pushes you towards repentance.
That's a great thing, but it will never
become the ultimate solution.
The ultimate solution is a holistic one.
As I mentioned earlier, tawbah, becoming a religious
person, increase your ibadah, dua, and so on,
but at the same time, live within community,
minimize being alone to the max.
I will repeat that.
This is a quote worth remembering.
Minimize being alone to the maximum.
Meaning don't be alone when you are in
the toilet, don't be alone, except when perhaps
you're changing your clothes, but don't just take
your devices into your bedroom.
Bedrooms were made for one thing.
What is that, Dr. Ashraf, can you guess?
Bedrooms were made for one thing.
Sleeping.
It's simple.
Yeah.
So we don't live there.
Bedrooms were not meant to be a living
place where we study, we eat, we entertain
ourselves.
No.
Bedrooms were made for having something called bed
to lie down on it and sleep so
that we can get up for fajr, you
know, fresh and strong and ready to for
a new day, not for for scrolling and
for watching movies and for watching this and
that.
No.
So avoiding all these reasons and triggers that
usually bring you back to square one and
you'll be all right inshallah.
With regards to efforts, I think there's one
question by Amir.
He asked, based on your research, Shaykh Wael,
does marriage can help actually to solve the
* addiction?
If yes, how?
If no, why?
Yeah, absolutely, 100 percent.
The Prophet ﷺ told us, Ya ma'ashara
al-shabaab, O young people, man istata'a
minkum al-ba'ata fal yatazawwaj.
Whosoever amongst you have the means, let him
get married.
Why?
Because it protects your chastity.
Allahu Akbar.
And it protects your eye.
Because now you don't have to you don't
have any reason to look another to another
girl.
But be careful.
If you are addicted already before marriage, then
your wife will not be enough.
Which means marriage in this case can become
very useful for someone with addiction if that
potential spouse would know before the marriage so
that she can become your accountability partner, so
she can monitor your behavior online, so that
she can monitor your devices.
In that case, marriage will be successful.
But if you just get married, marriage on
its own will not resolve the problem.
So some may ask, is it permissible for
me to expose my sin to a potential
wife who might say, no, I don't want
to get married to you and go on
and tell somebody else what is better for
you?
What is better for you to maintain this
as a secret between yourself, you and yourself
and keep on relapsing even after you get
married?
I'm dealing with people who are as old
as 50 and 55 years old who are
married and they have children and some of
them have grandchildren and they are still addicted
to * because they are afraid to tell
their wives.
But I have also someone whose interview, by
the way, on my YouTube channel, if you
want to watch it, Hisham or Hasef, who
is the there is what do you call
it?
A video playlist on my YouTube channel, Shaykh
Wahid Ibrahim, the playlist named Heroes, where I
interviewed this brother in particular.
I counselled him for one year and he
also didn't want to get married.
He didn't want to get married.
And subhanAllah, after this year of counselling, he
finally decided to get married and he was
still addicted.
Now, mashallah, tabarakallah, he is completely sober.
He has three beautiful kids.
His wife got to know before the marriage
and she supported him.
She become his accountability partners.
And guess what?
Both of them today are among the coaches
of the Aware Academy.
His story is online and he have clients
today from the UK, he's from the UK
and he's helping people.
So marriage will be successful tool for recovery
if the wife is aware of the problem.
And believe me, if the potential spouse, your
fiancé said, no, I don't accept you as
an addict, then it's good for you.
Now you know that your wife will not
support you and you're feeling down.
Find somebody else.
OK, there's another question from Mohamed.
Sorry.
Yeah, go ahead.
There's a question from Mohamed Badrul Munir bin
Ruzi.
In your opinion and research, brother, would *
addiction lead to dissociative disorder that involve experiencing
a loss of connection between thoughts, memories, feelings,
surroundings, behavior and identity?
To an extent, yes, but this need and
I can't now give a general answer to
this, but there are some people who are
experiencing this numbness, complete numbness, they don't know
who they are.
They they can't relate to anything that they
do.
They lose the lost interest in everything that
they used to love back in the days.
And that's why I can't say yes or
no, black and white like that.
Those kind of cases require really an intense
session to dig deeper as regards to why
the addiction started in the first place.
But yes, there are some cases that would
report these these symptoms.
All the.
Comment by Junita, more stare, more storage of
* images, these images will pop up in
the mind, especially when you are alone, example,
doing your Salat and reciting the Quran.
That's correct, flashbacks, flashbacks, flashbacks, yes.
And I think there's one last question.
We only have another two minutes.
I just want to say something about the
flashbacks, flashbacks.
The flashbacks can be weakened on the long
run.
So when when a person recovers, these flashbacks
will not be deleted, but they will be
very vague in the mind that will not
have a negative impact anymore on the action
once you quit.
OK, so one maybe one last question and
you could sum up the whole session.
This question is by it was it popped
up a bit more earlier, but I saved
it for the last part.
No, I didn't ask at nine four p
.m. She asked, how do we integrate psychological
and spiritual efforts to fight *?
So this would be done when you reach
out to a professional therapist, a professional therapist
who is a Muslim aware of his deen
will combine psychological tricks, tips and tricks to
assist you on coping with the craving, the
intense craving, the withdrawal symptoms, as well as
also advising you and leading you towards a
lifestyle that is acceptable by Allah and his
messenger.
So I can't now say what psychological tips
are required for people who are addicted to
* because that varies from one person to
another.
And that's why sometimes professional help is the
only option for people who are addicted.
So would you like to summarize and give
some conclusive conclusion remarks?
Yeah, absolutely.
I just wanted to say that sometimes when
I speak about this topic, people started feeling
dark and blue and feeling like the whole
world is over their shoulders.
I just want to say that recovery is
really possible.
But the road that leads to it, it's
a bit annoying and difficult.
And if you are looking for a magical
pill or a magical one to cure you,
there is none.
I have been reading on a daily basis
about this subject and all those scholars, neuroscientists
and psychologists and even spiritual figures from different
different religious backgrounds have described this to be
the most difficult thing for anyone to go
through.
The most challenging thing of our modern time
is *.
That's my claim.
My claim is there has never been an
era in history where * has been super
prevalent to young people like seven and 80
years old, like the time we are living
in.
So we are dealing with a monster that
is so strong and so powerful.
And as a result, if you wanted to
get out of this, an equally strong recovery
method is required.
So it is possible, yet you have to
bear with patience the process.
And once you exit that cycle, you will
feel the most powerful version of yourself.
Remember Yusuf when he was about to commit
zina, when the lady of Al-Aziz was
seducing him and Allah described this scene beautifully.
Sorry if I will take an extra few
seconds of your time.
I hope that that will not affect on
the program.
But Allah said She came unto him almost
and he came unto her almost until Allah
opened his heart for running away from the
scene.
What happened?
He ran with every inch of his body,
of every particle of his existence.
He ran away to a point that his
shirt, when he ran away to the opposite
direction, his shirt was ripped off when she
pulled him.
That shows you the intensity of Yusuf alayhi
salam running away from the haram.
So if you want to get out of
the addictive behavior that you're going through, you
have to equally go through * in order
for you to exit and experience Jannah.
Just like a surat.
When we are going to Jannah inshallah ta
'ala, what are we going to walk on?
We're going to walk on that straight path
that is leading to Jannah.
And the description of this straight path is
very, very vivid in our tradition.
It is thinner than a strand of hair
and it's sharper than the sword.
And on sides there are hooks and underneath
this is hellfire.
But at the end of this path is
Jannah.
So in order for you to go to
Jannah, if you want to quote me again,
Dr. Ashraf, if you wanted to go to
Jannah, you have to go through *.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us
salvation and purity and help those brothers and
sisters who are struggling with this disease.
A complete recovery, a complete cure.
Ameen.
And for those who are watching us.
If you wish to book a free consultation
session with myself, you can visit my website.
If you don't mind, Sheikh, I'm not trying
to promote anything, but if you wanted to
visit awareacademy.com.au, awareacademy.com.au, you
will find a link there where you can
book a session with me, 15 minutes, just
a consultation session.
That will help you at least understand your
level of addiction and the next step needed
for you to recover.
May Allah protect us all.
Jazakallah khairan kathira, Sheikh Wael Ibrahim for this
talk.
Alhamdulillah, we have learned a lot from you.
Maybe I'd like to summarize a bit.
You mentioned about the importance of having a
good lifestyle.
And that is actually even your main aims
or the way to recovery, having and following
the lifestyles of the Sunnah of the Prophet
Muhammad s.a.w. And what had been
taught in the Quran, for example, I think
you quoted Surah Noor, the ayat 30 to
31 regarding lowering our gaze for the brothers
and the sisters, and I think you mentioned
a very good quote that responds to that,
because why we need to do that is
because the less, I mean, the less, the
more we stare, the more we store.
So hopefully we store more of reading Quran,
reading good things and so on.
And we always have to, what was that
again?
Minimize being alone to the maximum.
So making that as a maximum.
And finally, it was you mentioned about before
going to Jannah, you have to go through
all this * and and hopefully, inshallah, despite
being having to do some struggles, hopefully, inshallah,
at the end we will find paradise in
Jannah, inshallah.
Thank you very much Sheikh Wael for being
with us today, tonight.
And hopefully we will have other sessions, maybe
in Malaysia on.
I mean, today is in Malaysia, but face
to face, inshallah.
Ameen, Ameen.
Yes, the audience, if you would like to
support, maybe say something.
If you want Sheikh Wael to be here
in Malaysia, say something in the comments.
So maybe if there's more demand, Sheikh Wael
will be willing to come here, come over.
So I think that's all from us.
Thank you very much, Sheikh Wael, from us,
Malaysians Against * and also in collaboration with
Aware Academy.
So now we will continue our session with
the quiz so that the audience can also
engage with us, inshallah.
Yeah, Izam Muden Fitri said, yes, we want
we want to have Sheikh Wael in Malaysia.
There is a plan.
We are cooking something for you, Malaysian, but
we need your support, inshallah.
Yes, inshallah.
Please come again to Malaysia.
Aziana Hassan said, Ismailiza Ismail mentioned.
Thank you, Sheikh.
OK, so are we ready with the quiz?
The team from MAP, can we continue with
the quiz?
OK, so I'll read the question.
So this is how it goes.
I'll read the question.
We have, inshallah, five questions and then the
person who responds and answers the correct question
the fastest, you will get the award or
the prize.
So the first question is what appears here.
What specific type of addiction is addressed in
the title of today's webinar?
So really, again, what specific type of addiction
is addressed in the title of today's webinar?
OK, we have a few.
Response.
I think there's already more than five.
OK, we have the winner.
So I'll continue to the next question first.
So the winner is I'll announce the winner.
So the winner for this first question is
Izamuddin Fitri.
OK, so next question, question number two.
Name the surah and verse in the Quran
that instructs us to lower your gaze.
So the first one was the easiest.
It's getting more challenging.
Now they need to check Google, they need
to check Google quickly.
Yes.
OK.
All right, we've got answers.
Let me check with the admin who got
the fastest answer, fastest and correct answer.
OK, OK, so the person, the winner is
brother Amir.
OK, third question.
Give one common sign of * addiction.
OK, give one common sign of * addiction.
Let me see.
OK, we have a winner, Aina Hanani for
the third question.
Let's move on to the fourth question.
Today's webinar is a collaboration between two organizations.
So.
Which organizations?
We want both of the collaborators, both organizations,
one from Malaysia and one from Australia.
What is MAP stands for?
Come on, guys, you're so lazy.
I think we have some clues already.
We have somebody already.
Yeah, OK.
Oh, OK, there's a lot of answers, but
I'll have to ask the OK, let me
check.
So the winner for the fourth question would
be Muhammad Akram.
I think because he mentioned in full.
The phone, yes.
And Malaysian Against *.
OK, so we have reached to the last
question for the quiz.
List one practical step young people can take
to protect themselves from falling into the trap
of *.
OK, I'll
get married.
Mashallah.
Brother Taufiq, you want to you want to
get married quickly, huh?
Minimize being alone, minimize being alone to the
maximum.
OK, I'm still waiting for the for the
admin to.
Give the winner or the same that is
the same person he has already won.
Can we have the same person to win
two prizes?
Dr. Bisha.
OK, OK, OK, yeah.
So the winner is Isamuddin, Isamuddin Fitri.
Mashallah.
OK, so then we have reached to we
have completed all the questions for the quiz,
Alhamdulillah.
So for the winners that have been announced
just now, please contact Dr. Bisha 0 1
2 3 8 0 0 0 5 3
to claim the 30 ringgit price in the
form of touch and go e-wallet.
So please contact Dr. Bisha.
You can screenshot or you can watch this
YouTube video again to get the phone number
which appears here in the in the writing.
And don't forget don't forget to share the
prize with Sheikh Wael Ibrahim.
Yes.
Once it's converted into Australian dollar, it will
be really low.
Well, so I think that's all.
Congratulations.
Well done.
Congratulations to all the winner.
And thank you again to Sheikh Wael Ibrahim.
And thank you to all the audience for
the for participating in this talk, in this
session, inshallah.
So hopefully we can have this kind of
session again.
And hopefully this is also one of the
efforts for us to increase the dialogues and
talking about this *, which, as mentioned by
one of the audience, saying it is a
taboo.
Hopefully this is one of the measures or
efforts that we are doing.
I think that's all.
Thank you again, brother Ibrahim.
Thank you to the team from MAP, Malaysians
Against *, as well as Aware Academy.
With that, assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh and I'll see
you.