Wael Ibrahim – Halal Intimacy #04 – Essentials

			Salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa Salatu was
Salam ala Rasulillah he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam brothers and sisters in STEM and everyone who's
watching Welcome back to Halal intimacy.
		

			In sha Allah Allah Allah today we will delve into the first chapter of the book and that is marriage
in Islam, we will be discussing essential elements that must be knit for the marriage to be accepted
in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala as local things that cannot be neglected things that must be
conducted under the Sharia of Allah subhanho wa Taala as revealed to His messenger Muhammad salatu
salam. So what are these essential elements that are absolutely needed for the marriage to be valid,
accepted and lawful in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala number one, we need two contracting parties
the male side who made the offer to marry the female and of course the females family side, this is
		

			known as E jab and kaaboo The person who made the offer who initiated the idea of marriage that's
the male side usually and the female who obviously need to accept the offer in order for the
marriage to be valid. This is the first and most important steps in marriage because there is no
force you cannot force your daughter or your son for that matter to marry against the will so the
first step ie jab and offer being made and Cabul acceptance from the female the daughter and of
course her family members because the second condition for the marriage to be halal is for a
guardian, a protector, someone in charge of that daughter to bless and to approve of this marriage
		

			because without the consent of a guardian for the marriage to be established, the entire
relationship becomes haram because Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran, for n k Hoban et ne li
hain, and marry them with the permission of the family members. You can't just marry someone without
even seeking a permission from her guardian. This is very, very important because some people when
the parents don't approve of the marriage, they have the idea that all right now, I did my part I
talked to her father, I talked to her brother, I talked to her uncle and they refused me for no
apparent reason. Therefore, I'm going to take that girl and run away and marry her against her
		

			family's will. This is a big mistake that many people fall into sometimes I'm aware that there are a
lot of family members out there who are unreasonable in their rejection when someone come and
request for their daughters in marriage. But that doesn't give you the right you males out there
does not give you the right to take the daughters out of their homes, marry them against the will
and desires of their own family members. Notice what you have done here you have destroyed the
relationship of another family member to establish your own. So do what you can to convince them to
approve of the marriage, but do not marry against the will because above anything else, their
		

			approval, Guardians approval and consent is required for the marriage to be valid. This is very,
very essential. Please remember this and bear in mind on the other hand, this is a message for
parents out there. Please my brothers and sisters in Islam Do not force your daughters to marry
against their own will let them make that choice by themselves. Let them choose their own future
husbands do not let them blame you later on for your own choice. Don't let them make a dua against
you. I don't have oppression that you have oppressed them that you have committed injustice against
them for choosing their own husbands whom they did not desire, guide them all you want. Teach them
		

			all you want, but do not force them against the will because love this emotional connection between
spouses is absolutely necessary for a successful marriage. So do not force your daughters or your
sons for that matters against their own will. Another very essential condition for the marriage to
be considered valid is what's known as dowry or Maha and that is something to be given as a gift and
a symbolic gift from the groom to the bride. In most cases, it's an amount of money some scholars
differ over whether it's material or non material gift. Sometimes people say your Maha is me
memorizing the Quran within this period of time or your Mahara is that I will take you to Hajj and
		

			so on and so forth. But the bottom line is it is something to be given from the groom to the bride
either at the time of the contract or in an agreed upon later time. What we need to know at that
stage is that marriage cannot be considered valid unless this gift is fulfilled or unless this
covenant is made and that covenant is witnessed by yet another condition for the marriage to be
considered valid and they say
		

			as minimum of two witnesses in other words, my brothers and sisters in Islam there is no such thing
in Islam as secretive marriage that you know my intention I know your intention and Allah subhanaw
taala know our intention so don't worry in sha Allah Allah when things become easy we will get
married and everybody will know there is no such thing as Allah subhanaw taala the list of all
witnesses No, no, Allah Himself revealed the way in which we must conduct ourselves when it comes to
marriage and when it comes to everything else, so we can't override that and halide is that which is
haram Allah, Allah may Allah subhanaw taala protect us all witnesses are required to see that the
		

			wedding ceremony is being conducted in the presence of the Guardians in the presence of the couple
only then marriage is valid. Not only that, but publicizing the wedding ceremonies even highly
encouraged to let people in the area aware that some people are getting married, oh, who are they
then when later on they see them walking down the streets Nobody will have any shameful thoughts
running through the minds in the book here or start. Abdul Latif is quoting Sheikh Mohammed a toy
Dre saying that it is part of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to
publicize the wedding party by means of singing and beating the duff and inviting people for walima
		

			for eating. And of course, all of that should be done in a manner that is acceptable, that is lawful
and not encouraging what I added to the intermingling of the sexes and the like. And what is the
reason for all of that to let people know that this couple is now lawfully married. Now in the next
paragraph that I'm going to read to you, sir Abdullatif brought something very, very important, I
want you to really pay attention to it. He said that in the Sharia of Allah subhanaw taala marriage
is haram for a man or for a woman who does not have the required tools to fulfill marital
responsibilities. So if you don't have the ability to fulfill any of your roles and responsibility,
		

			then marriage is not for you. It is as simple as that. So don't get into something that you cannot
bear later on. Don't destroy the life of someone just because you want to enjoy some fun with them
for a short period of time. Marriage is not meant for a short period of time. Marriage is for life.
So that should be the intention that you are marrying someone so that you can spend the rest of your
life with her or with him to establish an Islamic family so that you can insha Allah to Allah
continue this relationship, but in Jannah together in the light Allah that should be the intention.
Then Sourabh Latif continuously said, for instance, a man must have the means with which he would
		

			cater for his wife's needs. If you cannot cater for your wife's needs, then step back don't approach
it is the duty of a man to provide for feeding clothing and decent accommodation. That's your
responsibility men out there who are listening to me, that's your responsibility. If you don't have
the means, step back fast, and ask Allah subhanaw taala to open doors for you. And the accommodation
that men must provide should be also suitable somehow to the background and the standard of his
wife. And of course, also based on your ability and capacity and something very, very important here
we must bring into the discussion. If any of the couple were aware of any sexual dysfunction prior
		

			to the marriage, this information must be made known to either of the party so that they can make a
decision whether to proceed with the marriage or to say sorry, I cannot bear because if you do not
have the capacity and the ability to engage in sexual intimacy with one another, they more problems
will arise in the future. So these things must be made known or sub Latif also brought something
very important about the fifth he opinion on hermaphrodite. hermaphrodite is a person who was born
with both male and female * organs. What is the legal opinion on such people to get married Imam
ignore thymine mentioned that it is prohibited for such an individual to get married until his
		

			sexual status is made known. So according to medical research, some people will run tests to
determine whether that individual should live as a male or as a female and then later on can
consider marriage in the next episode in sha Allah, Allah Allah we will discuss the second chapter
of the book and it is about early marriages. Let's see how Islam had guided us and guided the young
people on getting married as earlier as possible to protect themselves from any vices in the society
that may lead to one of the major sins in Islam and that is Xena. May Allah subhanaw taala protect
us and our children I mean there's I can log on for watching don't forget to share the video
		

			subscribe to the AWARE Academy YouTube channel and we'll see you next episode insha Allah Allah stay
connected, keep it halal, Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi overcut