Tom Facchine – When Aisha R.A. Was Accused Of Infidelity
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the difficulty of admitting one's own infertility and the need for a sober understanding of one's behavior. They emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and focusing on oneself to avoid harming one's partner. The speaker also mentions the need for a sober understanding of one's behavior to avoid causing harm to their partner.
AI: Summary ©
The ifq is the paradigmatic difficulty that the
Prophet ﷺ went through.
People were accusing his wife of infidelity, right?
And he was affected by that to the
point where he kind of believed it, right?
And Aisha was pretty upset that he bought
into it, even to the extent that he
did.
Of course, he wouldn't, you know, come out
and say that he believed it.
He had procedural things that he had to
hold off judgment.
But the way he treated her, it was
as if he thought it was likely.
You know, he asked Ali, he asked Barira,
he asked different people that were around, trying
to do like a little investigation.
But at the end of the day, one
of the things that he did, and this
is something I think that all of us
can benefit from, is not making hasty decisions,
right?
First of all, not making, not jumping to
conclusions and making assumptions.
That's a big thing.
And trying to let certain things play out
and giving people a chance to redeem themselves
or at least clear their name.
You know, some of the couples that I
counsel, the husn ad-dhan is lacking, right?
Allah says in Surah Al-Hajrat, He says,
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا جِتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِّنَ الظَّنِّ
إِنَّ بَعْدَ الظَّنِ إِثْمٌ Okay?
Stay away from much suspicion or assumption because
some of it is sinful.
You can construct a whole narrative in your
head about somebody.
Imagining that they're doing this and it's really,
really hurtful in marriages when you start to
project it into the past.
Oh, you've always been this way.
You've always thought this way about my family,
right?
That's a common one.
You know, tensions between the extended relatives or
you don't value me or you don't help
me succeed or you don't do this or
you do that.
Now, what happens is because, you know, shaitan
works on us, we start to cherry-pick
our memories.
And so that we look for evidence that
confirms the narrative, right?
Whereas, if we're able to set certain ground
rules and control ourselves and try to have
a more sober understanding of what we can
know and what we can't know and what
we can assess and what we can't assess
and focus on ourselves.
I mean, at the end of the day,
to be very, very frank, I mean, if
somebody, if your spouse is going to really,
really deceive you and betray you and, you
know, kill you in the night, you know,
or something crazy like that, what are you
going to do to stop it, right?
If Allah ﷻ has willed it.
That's not to say, obviously, that we don't
take precautions and I'm not saying that you
should sleep with something next to you, but,
you know, like...
But you have to be right with Allah.
If you're right with Allah, as the Prophet
ﷺ said, then everything is good for you,
even if it's a hardship or something like
that.
Because at the end of the day, we
can only control ourselves.
Sometimes we resort to certain sort of methods
to try to control the spouse, to control
the other person.
We want a certain result out of them.
But at the end of the day, you
know, like we said before, even if you
get what you want, if it's not given
freely and out of love, it won't be
sweet, you won't even enjoy it.