Tom Facchine – This Is How Assimilation Happens

			This is how assimilation happens. All the things that I've been pointing out how the, you know, the
fracturing of the family and the breaking up and the feeding of dreams and the dreams that you
imagine for yourself that aren't your own dreams. They're not your own dreams. They were fed to you
right this summer suela. First of all, thank you very much for inviting me here. I love the GTA and
I love the people that I've met here. You have a lot of exciting things going on. And it really is
an honor, you know, talking about working together with AI three, working together with folks like
Muhammad hijab and Abdullah Andalusi, and Sheikh Rasta.
		

			One thing that many Muslims have reflected upon in the last two weeks as things continue to escalate
and Philistine May Allah grant them victory is that some things feel different, right? Like this
time, maybe in sha Allah, it feels different when it comes to the resistance when it comes to our
capacity when it comes to the interruptions. We're making discursively in how things are being
represented, but they also I have this feeling like things are starting to feel different even
before when it comes to the Dallas sphere when it comes to collaboration when it comes to trying to
build institutions. And so there's a lot to be excited about, I think and a lot to look forward to.
		

			A whole bunch of people reached out to me individually, and told me not to come here. They told me I
three is a front for HT and all this stuff. And I responded to them that you guys are have this
1990s mentality. This is not this is not how we're going to come together as an Omar Abdullah
Andalusi. He put it so well, when he said that we need a space for conversations with neither whip
nor sword. Right? This is how it has to be. Right? If we're going to move forward together, we have
to plan on differences. We have to expect differences. But that is not a min that's not something
that would prevent or prohibit it's not a prohibitive factor for us getting together talking about
		

			things trying to move the conversation forward, advance it and then unite in any way possible. So
when I've known reached out to me, and he's like, Hey, you want to come up to Toronto to talk about,
you know, to join our conference? And I was like, Well, what's your conference about? And he said,
secularism, and I immediately was like that meme of the guy hiding behind the tree rubbing his
hands. I was like, Oh, really? So I said back to him. I said, Well, yeah, I mean, I could talk about
secularism literally all weekend, like be more specific, what do you want to talk about? And so he,
we sort of ideated on that what to talk about.
		

			And he he one of the things that he offered me was something that was more difficult and
challenging. And I kind of chose that. So you guys are getting something that is different from a
lot of the talks that I give. I talk obviously a lot about secularism, but with with Paul Williams,
we talked about statecraft talked about the, you know, the modern conception of the state, even
education. Last night, I was shouting over the people eating dinner. And they were, you know,
talking about Islamic education. These are things that I've thought a lot about and talked a lot
about. And so my presentations are very confident and bold and like, you know, confrontational. This
		

			is going to be a little bit different. This is a little bit more exploratory. My conclusions here a
little bit more tentative, right. But a lot of the things that I'm trying to hit on, are
conversations that I don't really see happening a whole lot. The title that I was given was undoing
secular conditioning, right? That's obvious reasserting the divine in family and society. Okay, so
family and society. There's a lot there, right. I want to start by thinking about one group that
fascinates me, fascinates me, fascinates me. And I believe that you have large communities in
Ontario of the Amish, is that correct? Pennsylvania Dutch as they go by different names. Okay. So
		

			also in New York, Central New York, near Utica, there are significant populations of Amish. Down
further in Pennsylvania, near Philadelphia, you know, there are also large populations.
		

			And the Amish fascinate me and they fascinate me for several reasons, not just because their beards
are, you know, tip top shape, not just because the women have a sort of hijab, but they make
decisions in a very principled and moral way. And I was actually doing some research on the Amish.
And you know, there's like a, only a couple of things that are like complete cover, like for the
Amish. When it comes to technology, a lot of people don't know this, that there's actually a fair
bit of autonomy when it comes like from community to community, there's a fair bit of wiggle room
that they have to actually make decisions locally. But there's two things that are absolute red
		

			lines, if you want to be Amish, as far as technology goes, you cannot compromise on and one of those
is the car. Okay? This is probably pretty familiar. You see them with they're awesome for some
buggies. Right? They look really cool. Unfortunately, unfortunately, they are often casualties
sometimes on the road, because of the way people drive, which is another topic entirely. But does
anybody know why they care so much about the car?
		

			Well, I'm going to be a little interactive. I do teach
		

			When there was no, it's actually not about the Senator and the ability to travel directly at least.
		

			Yes. Okay. So the reason that the Amish rejected the cars of technology is they looked at by the
way, do you know what the Amish call everybody else who's not Amish? They call them the English.
Yeah, so all of you, they don't care what your skin color is, you're the English were the English,
okay? And so they actually let the English adopt the technology, and then they wait and see, what's
the effects gonna be? And then do we want to take it on or not? Okay, so they looked at the car, and
they said, You know what, what's going to happen? If we adopt the car, if we adopt the car, let's
say I'm at home, I'm making some, some shawarma, or some cookies or something, and I run out of
		

			something, okay? Instead of going to my neighbor, to ask them to borrow something, I'm gonna go to
the grocery store instead. And they said that single intervention in our community will disrupt
everything that we're about, we are about relying on each other. We're about sort of existing more
on a gift economy, we have these different principles and values. And so this can't happen, it would
be the end of us. Now, we don't necessarily have to agree with that particular decision. Right, like
cars are, you know, I drive a lot. And I depend heavily on a car, but the level of intentionality
behind the decision that they made, okay, the principles that they're willing to actually take so
		

			seriously, that they're gonna ram every single technology that comes down the pipeline through this
sort of matrix and this decision making sort of, you know, contingency plan, I think, is enormously
instructive. Everything is a moral decision for them. Everything is a moral decision for them. And
that is why they are one of the groups that has most successfully resisted modernity and secularism
that exists. I don't know of any other group that has more successfully resisted the fragmenting
forces we'll talk about in a second, the fragmenting forces of both secularism and modernity. Do you
see sometimes we've ever seen the Amish construct the barn, if somebody's barn burns down, falls
		

			down, gets hit by a tornado, a tree falls on it, the entire community comes together and raises a
barn together in a matter of hours. It's a phenomenal, amazing thing to see, when it comes to loans,
they never have to take out money, they buy property, just like you and I buy property, cash in
hand, but they never take out loans from anyone other than themselves. They're extremely self
sufficient and independent.
		

			So
		

			why are they winning? What in my, my estimation, my calculus? Why do I say that? They're the most
successful, like when it comes to resisting modernity, okay, there's all these things. They're nice,
they're nice. But somebody can say, Okay, you guys are stuck in the whatever a century and you guys
are never going to succeed or go anywhere. Here's my metric of success. Okay? Do you know that the
Amish, they actually allow their youth to choose once they reach I think it's like 16 to 19, they
have a time where they called the rumen, Springer, which is basically the Amish get, there's a
couple of reality shows about this, where they let the their young go and live among the English
		

			party out wild out be crazy, whatever tastes life in secular modernity. And then by the time they
reach the age of 19, they have to decide,
		

			either you're going to stay with us and you're going to leave all that behind, or you go and it's
cool facade, see you later, we're not going to see you again, cut off ties.
		

			Somebody tells me what's the retention rate of the Amish? Guess
		

			95 You read the study 95% 95% retention rate, you you grow, you grow human beings in a particular
environment, you show them something better, you give them something better. And then when they have
a strong foundation, okay, you let them taste society, you let them see what everybody else is
doing. And 95% of them choose to go back. I think that that is the most significant metric of
success. And I think that we have a lot, a lot a lot to learn from this type of thinking. As I said,
secular modernity is a fragmenting force. That means that it takes things that are whole and it
breaks them up into pieces. Okay. The first thing that it does is it does that to our deen. Okay,
		

			Abdullah Andalusi was just talking about it. Our deen is something that is a holistic way of life.
It's a comprehensive system. It's a worldview. It's a lens. Okay, and the first thing that
secularism does is it comes in it breaks it into private worship, personal piety, individual
relationship with a creator a set of propositions that you kind of think are true or not.
		

			The disgusting part is that secularism actually has to invent the categories so that it can do its
work of fragmentation. Okay?
		

			So, if you want a really good book to read, read the myth of religious violence by William
Cavanaugh, he does a really good job of demonstrating how even the idea of religion is something
that was necessarily invented by secularism in order to cut it up, cut up, Dean, okay, and make it
fit into a box that is stripped of all these other things, when it comes to all the other spheres
that we conceive of a separate economy, politics, right family, all these things that we're used to
thinking of, yes, we put them on a table. Here's religion, here's politics, here's economy. Right,
and then the kuffar gonna tell us that, well, religion shouldn't be involved in politics, these two
		

			things are separate. Well, they had to invent the category of politics, and define it in such a way
that it excluded, excluded faith, and then the category of religion define it in such a way so that
it wasn't obviously tied up in politics in the first place. So that they are even separate double.
Okay, Islam doesn't like that. Okay, a dean isn't like that. Something that's a comprehensive way of
life isn't like that. It's actually a unicity. It's actually a hole that is not meant to be broken
up. That's the secular move. That's my TED talk. Okay, anybody following my stuff from before, this
is what I rant and rave about all the time. But there's other things that are going on, and there's
		

			other sites of fragmentation. Okay, and today's talk is exploring the ways in which secularism
fragments the family, okay, which is a little bit different. And it's a little bit new, even for me.
		

			women's suffrage, good thing or bad thing.
		

			Let's get let's see how controversial we can be today.
		

			Raise your hand if you're against women's suffrage.
		

			Let's see, oh, I see some sisters back there. Allahu Akbar. Okay, okay, this is I'm not trying to I
should have everyone close their eyes so that nobody felt isolated. So this is one of the great
myths and this is a really important sort of historical point, that modern feminism, and I really
wish I could go to the talk that's going on simultaneously.
		

			Women's Suffrage is the the right for women to vote. Do you think raise your hand if you think women
should not vote?
		

			Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. Okay, now I bring this, this this this. I bring this up. It's actually
an extremely important demonstration of how ideology makes narrative out of history. Okay, history
is one thing and historical narrative as a separate thing. So the feminist movement, right? They,
the in their own self description, starts with women's suffrage right first wave feminism. Second,
we were very uncritical of the sort of self mythology that feminism presents of itself starts with
the right to vote. What kind of jerk would reject the right for women to vote? There were women at
the time that were against women's suffrage. And it's very interesting, if you go into the arguments
		

			and see why why they were against women's suffrage. Can anybody aware why would any woman complain
about being extended the right to vote?
		

			No, not yet. That happened later drafting the army.
		

			Allah before women's suffrage, the base unit of society was not the individual it was the family.
The US government, I can't speak for Canada sorry, used to keep track of statistics by families. And
the man was considered the head of the household and he was a representative, the public facing
membrane of the family. And the women that were against the suffrage movement horror completely lost
the history in the wake of sort of feminist ideology and their own self mythologizing. Right, is
that they did not want, they did not want to be counted as individuals, they wanted to be counted as
families. This is how secularism starts to break us apart as families, what's the default assumed
		

			sort of subjectivity? What's the smallest common denominator, what's the basic unit of society? A
society that's basic unit is a family is very, very different, very, very different from a society
whose basic unit is the individual. The interesting thing is that society and secularism because of
its sort of philosophical background, it has a certain normative individual and societal plan, okay,
that it wants to advance, and then it kind of has to reverse engineer it. So it has to produce the
subject activities that are going to want to comport and adhere to its plan for society. All right.
So how are we going to get people to want to be counted as individuals, right? That's kind of the
		

			work of what normal people call political science these days. So let's think about let's think
about, okay, there are ideal forms. Let's look at how and why we're doing this is because it's going
to illustrate the ways that secularism has fragmented the family and it's going to be extremely
relevant
		

			Obviously, as Muslims, what are all the characteristics of the ideal normative family under
secularism? Just throw out some characteristics. Hmm
		

			equality Okay, so that looks like what
		

			da I mean like
		

			chores, right splitting chore we're talking like sameness of roles or parity of roles right? dual
income household right both of them working having careers having education's what else.
		

			Okay, we're getting there we're getting that's it goes into motivations, but we're just focusing on
the characteristics of First, what is the dream that you've been sold?
		

			Think about Okay. So how do we achieve this okay, movies, books, etc. What is the ideal normative
family structure? And what are its characteristics within secular maternity equality between
spouses?
		

			homeownership? Well, let's complicate that a little bit. Big mortgage and debt. right a little bit
different. Yeah.
		

			Independence, what type of independence independence from whom?
		

			The husband is financially independent.
		

			Okay, each individual has a degree of financial independence. I often the lady side.
		

			How autonomy?
		

			Well,
		

			you should make your own decisions. Okay. Make your own decisions. Okay. Yeah.
		

			Ah, very good. Nuclear. Hello. nuclear families, right. Not extended families. No ants, no cousins.
No grandparents, right. This is the ideal family that your soul. Okay. And nobody said it yet. What
else?
		

			Individuals mindset. That's part of it. Yes.
		

			Not a lot of kids, right. That's too expensive. And you know, what cramps are sort of expected
standard of living, not going to have as much Netflix and going out to eat if we have too many kids.
Other than
		

			that, they'll email various possibilities and pay Iowa. LGBTQ.
		

			Okay, okay. There's that then none of you guys, especially the men. Come on, guys. Every dude talk
comes back to what if you're between 2025?
		

			Huh. Okay, that's there. There's no authority because we're equal. You can't have authority if
you're equal. Bro.
		

			Polygamy? Ah, polygamy. Okay. Thank you. Come on, guys. The normative families in a nuclear
monogamous family. Right? Right. Okay, everybody's having *. Don't worry about that. Okay.
		

			So this is the dream that sold to you. Okay, no problem, or no comment yet? We're just describing,
okay. But there's a reverse engineering process by which we are filled with desires for this type of
lifestyle and that type of family. When you think about, what's my wedding going to look like? And
what's my house going to look like? And you start to daydream. And, you know, you're, you're feeling
heavy, you just fell in love, right? Like, these are the things that come to mind. Those images
didn't come from nowhere. They didn't come from nowhere. They actually came from a particular
desirable outcome that your culture and society maintained by the state. I'm not It's not crude,
		

			like the state's not just like telling everybody what to say in the media, but they're the referee.
You know what I mean? Like if UFC right, who won earlier, all of that.
		

			So you see how the referee he ensures that it's a fair fight, anything that happens outside what the
referee wants to have happen, then he jumps in. Okay, so the state here is like referee, they're not
actually doing the fighting all the time. But they'll jump in, if something goes out of bounds.
Okay. We're gonna run out of time. Okay, so you're starting to see the ways that secularism,
fragments of family, or at least, it has a very, very specific idea of what a family should look
like. And we can now have a critical assessment, whether that actually jives with what a normative
Islamic family should or should not look like. Okay, so this is what we're doing. We're trying to
		

			take away the normativity bring it into the realm of, of just being descriptive something, this is
how it is. It's one way of doing things. It might have some advantages, but it might also have some
vulnerabilities and drawbacks. Yes.
		

			Some authors have written about the concept and for those of you whose families have migrated more
recently, this should still be within living memory. You know, someone brought up individualism
individualism is a key ideological component to help us
		

			Get here. How do you think about yourself moving through life? Do you imagine yourself as an
individual who's on this sort of journey of self discovery, you go to college, you major, you follow
your heart and do what the Disney movies tell you. And you fall in love, you just, you know, bump
into somebody, you know, in the fall in love at first sight, and then et cetera, et cetera, or, or
another model is the idea of what's called a family Corporation, right? Like, for example, my family
came to North America in 1905, from Italy. Okay, my grandfather was one of 13 children. They all
were different specialties, like, you know, carpenters, and coal miners, and this and that, and the
		

			other. And they all had a very collective mindset. And many of you whose parents migrated or maybe
your grandparents might have migrated. You also know that within the those types of families,
individualism was not sort of what was going on, it was a much more collective mindset, the family
was thought of as a corporation, the oldest child usually got the most education usually even
bankrolled the education of those that were younger than it, there was a collective type of thinking
that's not present in the normative sort of family structure that you're fed today. So the forces of
secular modernity tried to break all this up. For reasons we got into motives like why would they
		

			want to do this? Okay, yeah, taxes, they would love to tax incomes, they want people to have huge
mortgages, they want people to be in debt. They want people to, we'll get there, we'll get there,
we'll get there. Yes, they want people to have a certain expectation of life. What's the dream life?
When did you make it? Right? What are all of our parents probably want for us? Or at least? What do
they want for you, they want you to be a doctor, and have a house in the suburbs with a white picket
fence. Right? That's why they send you to what I call the Holy Trinity. You can either be a doctor,
lawyer, engineer, right? That's the Holy Trinity for Muslims. Unfortunately, the idea what's behind
		

			it is because there's a certain expected lifestyle that's attached to, you know, and status and
honor and all these sorts of things. Okay. The state is very happy to push that on us, you know,
through its various sort of things that it allows culturally movies, you know, et cetera, et cetera,
sets the tone for a gender roles, the abolition of authority, right? The sameness with which women
are treated as men, okay, which they call equality, but I'll call it something a little bit more
descriptive. I think calling it equality is a little bit ideological, I think sameness is a more
accurate description of sort of what's going on, so that they can keep you in debt. Have you own
		

			very little because usually, it's mortgage and on credit, they can. Now you have to give you give
them your kids to educate them, right? You have to go to work, your wife has to go to work, you have
to afford the lifestyle. And so your kids are now just catered by the state. Look at how that's a
vulnerability with the LGBTQ nonsense. Can I say that in Canada? Are they going to arrest me? I'm
good cousin America. Like I go off. Okay.
		

			And even and even, yes, monogamy, okay. And he follow acid fans, he actually talks about this in a
footnote in formations of the secular I'll, I'll let you explore that. But he talks about how the
nation state is, is actually
		

			how it was the word that he uses, it's dependent upon a certain ideology of monogamy that is, is
very new, it's actually new, it's very modern, the idea of, you know, this nuclear family anyway,
that's, that's an aside, I don't want to get into that. Another, another stream of fracturing that
we're under. So, you know, you see how now the family is getting broken up, right? What came from a
non secular or at least a less secular place, a less modern place as a family corporation with
different sort of with with hierarchy, with authority with with differentiation with mutual
dependence with all these sorts of interesting things going on, your ran through the matrix of
		

			modernity and secularism and you're kind of getting broken down. Another key ingredient in that
process is actually urbanization. That's what nobody talks about, because everybody loves to live in
cities, as all of you do. In 2007, okay, was the first time in history that more people in the world
lived in urban centers than in rural places. Okay, so very, very recently, the speed the breakneck
speed with which the world has been urbanized is something that is very recent, very new. It's a big
social experiment. We don't know how it's going to turn out. Okay. The United States, for example,
in 1920 was about 5050 urban versus rural population. Now over 80% of the US population lives in
		

			urban centers. Turkey Turkey is a very dramatic example of this. If any of you guys watch Turkish
movies, or Turkish serials, it's actually common theme like in Bombay, oh, Lu and old woman, you
mortar in different movies like this. In 1960 30% of the Turkish population lived in urban centers,
I mean, 70% rural in 1960. Fast forward to today. It's also
		

			Nearly 80%. So these are dramatic shifts, and they're actually really structurally important to
achieving all these fragmentations that we're talking about the types of family corporations, the
types of affordability of land, the types of independence and self sufficiency that you can have, in
an urban center where things are on, you know, crazily expensive is very, very different than if
you're outside of an urban center.
		

			Okay, we talked about that aside point, okay. Part of the urbanization, it serves, obviously,
industrialization and the sort of capitalist logic that filled the vacuum after Dean was removed
structurally from sort of what Western society was supposed to be about. So the industrial logic
wants all of us to be fungible, you know, fungible means econ guys, right? It's like everything is
like, it's substitutable. Okay, every one is just like the other like, like pennies, or like
dollars, okay? So one of the tenants of capitalism and also industrialization is that every single
one of us is fungible. That's why that's part of the reason why there's a push for sameness between
		

			the genders, but we don't want to differentiate, well, we don't want hierarchy, we don't want
authority, because then each cog in the system is less substitutable. For every other cog.
		

			The biggest lie you've probably ever been sold is that all of these changes lead to freedom, or a
better lifestyle. Like I think that's just a joke and an ideological sort of statement. In reality,
if we're to be sober about it, there are new patterns of dependence and independence that are forged
by this type of fracturing. I'll just run through a few of them. Because I think we're actually
getting close to the end of time here. When we talk about independence, what are the types of
independence like one of one of the brothers said it? Well, we have more independence, and I asked
what independence from whom are from what what type of independence? Are we talking about? We see
		

			that spouses are less dependent upon each other. Right. And we see this reflected in the attitudes
with which both genders come together when it's time for marriage. Okay. Girls are told, get your
education just in case, right? Planning for failure. Matters sky high, because in case, okay, now,
there might be particular situations, I'm not making sense. We're here where that's religiously
acceptable, but I'm talking about it logically imperative medically, right? These are, these are
indicators of something else going on.
		

			Each spouse lives more independent of the other, right? They're much more easily separable in one
way, okay. There's other ways in which that's actually the opposite. But we'll talk about that
later. Today, siblings are very, very independent from each other spread out, as one of the brothers
said, yeah, you've got, you know, somebody over here, my one siblings in California, my other
siblings in Toronto, my other sibling is in Florida, and we FaceTime, right, that's very, very
common in this contemporary, modern secular world. And that's not by accident. Like, it's part of
the fragmenting of the family, and what it should be, parents are more independent from your
		

			parents, right? To live with your in laws, let alone your own parents is seen as if it's like, you
know, shame, it's something that is avoidable. You want to avoid it at all costs. And we're
constantly fed sort of cultural messages within Media and etc, about how undesirable this thing is
how oppressive this thing is, so that it's become normalized for us to just want to always escape
and be free from it, extended family, same thing, even our own children, even our own children,
okay, again, surrendering your child to daycare from a very early age, surrendering them to the
state to educate them, or brainwash them as the case may be. All these sorts of extracurricular
		

			activities, there's much there's independence of parents from their own children.
		

			What else do we have?
		

			We're also more independent in the sense that we have a life of leisure, this is part of the goods
that capitalism sort of promises, people in the urban centers that go through this progress of the
fragmentation. What do you get in return? Really, it's supposed to be a high quality of life,
leisure time, consumer goods, five minutes, Allahu Akbar. All right, all right. Fast forward.
hyperspeed. Okay.
		

			You're free from having to work with your hands. You're free from having to make anything yourself.
You're free from even having to undergo the training to know how to make anything yourself or fix
anything yourself or do anything yourself, which is why there's a large D skilling of society, which
there's books about that. You can read about that elsewhere. But it's not just about independence,
actually, the new regime actually has a lot of dependents that's built into it, too. We don't make
our own food. We don't educate our own children. We don't actually own as much as we think we do
after credit and mortgages take into account. We can't make things for ourselves. Therefore, we are
		

			not self sufficient. Remember when the oil embargo happened in the 70s? What are the King of Saudi
Arabia say threateningly, he said, we'll go back to dates and water if we have to. That's power,
right to have the ability to produce for yourself is to not be able to be messed with by anybody.
		

			us, we can't satisfy all of our needs as a community. Again, we've got the Holy Trinity. We've got
tons of doctors on lock engineers, no problem. But who's going to write poetry? Who's going to write
curriculum? Who's going to We saw this with the LGBTQ phenomenon, all of a sudden, Muslims are on
the backfoot. Back, you know, back, backpedaling. Who's going to write the curriculums who in this
quote, raise your hand? If you're an education? Major? I hope there's one in the room. Is there one
in the room education? Anybody? Know? Nobody in this room? Does education? Alright. One person? Yes,
my man.
		

			Right? Good. You're not in college yet.
		

			But the idea is, this is not collective thinking. This is not collective thinking. We're being fed
individualism, okay, like you and you, and you and you, what are you going to do for your life,
we're not thinking as an OMA, we're not thinking about it as a Muslim community. If we're going to
have all of our bases covered, we need diversity, we need everybody to have all the skills covered.
Is it viable? Allah, is it viable to have a community in this way? Last night, we had somebody say
that their first encounter with someone in Canada, the guest station was that your third generation
belongs to us, or your third generation will be ours. If this is how assimilation happens, all the
		

			things that I've been pointing out how the you know, the fracturing of the family, and the breaking
up, and the feeding your dreams and the dreams that you imagined for yourself that aren't your own
dreams, they're not your own dreams, they were fed to you. Okay, this is how assimilation happens.
It's not sustainable, it's not viable in three generations. If these are our dreams, we will not be
Muslims or maybe your children, your grandchildren will not be Muslims. Okay, that's the rub. And
that's the urgency. If we look at the shittier, okay, which unfortunately, I have three minutes to
talk about the light at the end of the tunnel, or the redemption. The Cydia is not merely
		

			descriptive. It's also normative people. You can see this in the inheritance issue. People come to
the inheritance issue, they say, oh my god, there's some situations where women inherit less than
men. And the assumption is all the assumptions about the dream life and the fractured family that
I've already talked about the individualism we imagine sister coming in from California, brother
flying in from New York, each of them gets their bag of cash and heads back to their home
independent, free from each other, no relationship, etc. The city is telling you when it's telling
you that a brother and sister do not inherit the same that a brother inherits twice as much as the
		

			sister that's a normative claim. Allah is teaching you what a relationship should look like. Allah's
teaching you what a sibling relationship should look like, the relationship between a brother and
sister should be thicker than that. You Brother are responsible for your sister financially, you're
her last resort. If your father dies, and God forbid she's divorced or something happens to her you
are responsible, right? This is how the city is trying to teach you Allah spawns. I was trying to
teach you what a relationship should look like what a family should look like, what society should
look like. It's not arbitrary. It's not just descriptive. We don't just say, oh, let's reform it
		

			now. Now that everybody's individualistic. No, Allah is telling you what it should be.
		

			We don't have enough time. The same goes for marriage. The same goes for marriage differentiation,
okay, gender roles, the ability to depend upon each other and rely upon each other. There is such a
thing I believe as sacred dependence. You can worship Allah subhanaw taala. Through your dependence,
all of us are afraid of being dependent on another believer. And yet the Prophet salallahu alayhi
salam said that marriage is half your deen, that means you're incomplete until you get the other
half. That means you have to rely on the other half to achieve something that's greater than the sum
of its parts.
		

			Segregated spaces, gender segregation, right. This is also something that is normative in the
studio. It's something that is a structure that actually is supposed to teach us what relationships
should look like. Husbands and wives should not just be like all up in each other's business every
single second of every single day, right in traditional societies, that there were separate spaces
for women, okay, where women hung out with other women you had though, you have their moms and their
aunts and their cousins and their friends and their neighbors. And the guys were out with the other
guys, you had the man space, you had the woman's space. And we found fulfillment and satisfaction
		

			and development through those spaces. Okay? The modern arrangement and configuration of doing things
is just one way and it's killing us. It's actually breaking us up and fragmenting us up.
		

			So, if we look to this video, this is again, this is exploration. This is tentative, but what we
need all the bright thinkers in the room we need people to think very particularly and target Idli
and
		

			with a mind towards solutions as to how the Cydia teaches us how families and society should look
like how to think collectively, how to live collectively, how to depend upon each other, how to be
such that as a community, we have all of our bases covered we have our relationships are
satisfactory, we feel understood. We have proper camaraderie from the same *
		

			For friendships or mentors, we have mentors, people that are different ages than us both above and
below. And we have balance that each one of us feels that we're actually placed in a position to
succeed, rather than fitting uncomfortably in the modern secular configuration of things. And just
like the Amish, we want to live life on our terms. We don't want to live life on someone else's
terms. We want to actually live the life that Allah subhanaw taala wanted for us. And if that's the
case, then we won't have to worry that our third generation will belong to theirs. We can actually
hope and pray that their third generation will belong to us will love Hotaka Adam was so low on the
		

			beat Muhammad so panicle when we have the controller, you know the answer so critical to be late.
Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah