Tom Facchine – Riyadh al-Saliheen and Women’s Q&A #15

Tom Facchine
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The conversation covers the history and importance of the Hadith, with a focus on the use of "well" in the transcript and the importance of quote "well," in the transcript. The speakers discuss the emotional toll of a woman struggling to communicate with her children due to fear of being shot by her cousin, and the difficulty of communicating with older people. They also touch on the idea of marriage and divorce, the importance of understanding one's rights, and the use of specific dowries. The speakers emphasize the importance of understanding one's rights and ensuring that no one gets taken away, as it is common in other countries. They also discuss the definition of seclusion and the importance of not being considered "has been in love" in marriage.

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			Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Ashoka MBA alumnus
serene Davina McHenry. Salah was good to Sneed, Allah Houma. arlena de Maya veteran, our partner,
the madam dinner was in in our inland yacht, but it suddenly got to welcome everybody to the women's
class, Riyadh, the Saudi hain. And now the fifth of marriage. And eventually I'm guessing the
federal divorce as well, but we'll we'll get there.
		
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			So we have reached the last heavy of our inaugural inaugural chapter, the chapter on sincerity it
had 12 Hadith. And we have reached number 12.
		
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			Let's bring up the text of the Hadith here for a second. This hadith is narrated by Abdullah Allah
		
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			and has gone yet they used to give good news I will have the rock man meaning he was the father of
of the rock man.
		
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			Oh, I'm sorry. No, I was mistaken. It is not. Oh, that's really interesting. I have a discrepancy
between what is on this copy.
		
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			And what is in the copy of the text I have in front of
		
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			me copy the text I have in front of me.
		
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			I have on the arm the Rockman on the lot even given a football. So I have a ribbon on. And here it
has the same Quinion and it has a lot of football, which
		
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			I'm inclined to go with the actual one I have in my hand. But anyway,
		
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			both of them are very well known Mario's Abdullah imminent Allah, the Son of God is the second most
numerous narrator of Hadith that we have after I Googled it. It goes I will write on given to Mr.
Ennis and I Isha. Right in the middle, we said that there were seven, seven that were called and
look through those who married it over 1000 Hadith of the Prophet slicer. And I'm gonna call it Bob
is the famous colleague for the same click listener and fertile and we all know all the wonderful
things about both of them.
		
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			I'll see because we have a lot of stuff to get through this hadith is rather long I'll save the life
and times of the narrator for another time when he comes up inshallah. So we have
		
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			the Prophet I heard the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say, three men of the past
were traveling and took refuge for the night indicate. They answered it, and a rock fell down the
mountain and blocked the entrance. They said, The only thing that will rescue us from this rock is
to call on Allah, invoking good actions we have done. One of them said, Oh Allah, my parents are
both old. And it is my habit never to give milk in the evening, either to my family or friends
before giving it to them first. One day, I went a long way in search of something and did not reach
them until they had already gone to bed. I milked their evening drink, but found they were asleep. I
		
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			did not want to wake them, nor to give my family or friends their evening drink before they had had
theirs. So I remained with a cup in my hand waiting for them to wake up until dawn came. The
children were at my feet crying because of hunger. Then they woke up and drank their drink. Oh
Allah, if I did that, out of the desire for your face, then rescue us from this situation we are in
we are in regarding this rock. At that point, the rock moved a little bit. So it opened a little but
they still could not get out. The second of them said Oh Allah, a cousin of mine was the person I
loved more than any other. And other narration says I used to love one of my uncle's daughters with
		
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			the most intense love is possible for a man to have for a woman. I tried to seduce her, and she
refused me until one year when she was in dire need. She came to me and I gave her 120 dinos
provided that she would let me do what I wanted with it. She said she said that most of these she
said that she wished she agreed. But when I was about to have my way with her, she said fear Allah
and do not break the seal without having the right to do so.
		
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			So I left her alone, in spite of the fact that she was of all people the one I loved the most and
also also left her with
		
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			The gold I had given to,
		
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			Oh Allah, if I did that out of desire for your face and rescue us from our situation, the rock moved
a little further, but still, they could not get out.
		
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			The third set, Oh Allah, I employed some workers and gave all of them their wages, except for one
man who went off without taking what he was owed. I invested his wages until it multiplied in value.
After a time, he came back to me and said, Abdullah, pay me my wage. I said, all the camels, cattle,
sheep and slaves that you see here, have come from your wave. He said, Abdullah, don't make fun of
me. Where do you make fun of me? He's basically saying like, You're joking, right? And he says, No,
I'm not joking. He took them all and drove them off, not leaving anything. Oh, Allah, if I did that,
out of the desire for your face that rescue us from the situation we are in, the rock moved away,
		
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			and they walked out. So this is the longest Hadith that we've had so far. And it is chock full of
lessons,
		
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			chock full of lessons,
		
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			both lessons that are specific to each story, and lessons that are general, that apply to everybody
involved.
		
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			Some of the specific lessons that we learned, if we take it one by one is that the first person
what's going on is they're demonstrating their service to their parents beautiful, validate their
goodwill, their excellence, they're striving in the servants of their parents. And what we find is
that there comes a situation where serving the person's children, he says, the children were crying
at my feet, comes in conflict with the serving of his parents.
		
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			And his dedication to his parents is shot is such that he is willing to let his children go hungry
for the night, not put them in harm's way, they're not going to, you know, have any sort of
		
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			serious danger from skipping a night. But we all know anybody who's a parent knows the stress and
the tension, and how overwhelming it can be when your children are crying, especially the pity that
it invokes in you, when they're crying for something legitimate. They're not crying because they
wanted a toy that they couldn't get.
		
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			They're crying for something that is natural to once they're hungry, they need food.
		
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			And not only that, but that person in the story is able to give them that food. Everything a parent
feels
		
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			that person in the hadith is able to end it by giving them the food.
		
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			Despite all of that, their dedication and loyalty to honoring their parents
		
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			takes precedence over that.
		
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			And so, they stick to their process of giving the parents the first dibs on the milk because they're
older, and they're frail, and they've earned it haven't that.
		
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			There was there's another Hadith or it's an fo technically it's a story of there was a man who was
		
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			making pull off around the Kaaba and I believe it was Arma It was during this Minato mo if I'm not
mistaken.
		
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			And Ahmad was watching him on this man had carried his mother on his back from wherever he came
		
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			to make Hajj.
		
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			And so now he's making falafel around the Kaaba and he has his mother on his back.
		
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			And he asked Allah he says, Oh, do you feel like I've paid her back for anything for what she's done
for me?
		
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			And I love says, No, you could never pay her back for what she has done for you.
		
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			And anybody who, especially as a mother understands this,
		
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			the nights of worry, and the nights of
		
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			how hard you are on yourself, how much you expect of yourself
		
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			how much we beat ourselves up as parents, when our children don't turn out exactly the way we want
it or don't make the decisions that we really, really hoped that they would make.
		
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			It is one of the most emotional, gut wrenching things to go through that there isn't this light.
		
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			And so a mother compared to a daughter, the mother has already gone through all of that.
		
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			She's going through and come out the other side.
		
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			So doesn't see has the right to some sort of preferential treatment?
		
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			Doesn't she have the right to some sort of
		
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			respect
		
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			and preference over those who have still yet to go through that process as much as we love our
children, of course, we love our children.
		
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			But one thing that we're learning here, from this hadith and from the first story of the hadith
		
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			is that he says at the end, if I did that out of the desire for your face, so why is he doing? Why
is he doing this? Why is he had this process of prioritizing his parents over his children and
anybody else? Putting them first
		
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			says he intends it for Allah, he understands that this is how Allah wants it.
		
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			If he were doing something
		
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			opposite, he would not say such a thing.
		
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			If he did something that he thought either was unclear or that Allah actually didn't really like he
wouldn't say, doesn't I did this for you.
		
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			Not because my parents badger me and guilt trip me and
		
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			you know, play the victim and try to win my pity whenever I don't give them preferential treatment?
No, I did it out of worship.
		
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			Because I know that Allah wants me to give preference to my parents.
		
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			And subhanAllah, we've reached a time and a society where we generally
		
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			we generally
		
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			value our children
		
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			more than our parents.
		
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			Maybe not, if you come from if you have a strong relationship with another culture, and you've come
to America, maybe not. But I will say at least from my experience with mainstream American culture,
perhaps it's perhaps it's the capitalism, right? Because capitalism kind of forces us to value
people according to what they're able to produce. Right? So anybody who can't produce for the
economy, you are,
		
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			are so non grata, you're worthless. That's why so many elderly are shut away in homes,
		
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			and not visited. And all this sort of crisis of loneliness, and loss of meaning that the elderly
have in our society.
		
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			A capitalistic kind of ethos of who's going to produce, who's going to innovate, steers us to focus
on the youth.
		
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			And we should focus on the youth don't get me wrong, but in a way in which we've abandoned,
		
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			we've abandoned the elderly, we look at the potential of the potential of our children.
		
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			And that's good, they are a potentiality. And they are perhaps our biggest, one of our biggest
assets.
		
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			Both with the family and with the Muslim community. However, there's a huge asset that many of us
ignore, and that's the wisdom and the experience. And the darker the blessing that is in the older
generation.
		
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			The second story is a real, real
		
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			hard hitting one. So there's a guy
		
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			and he lusts after his cousin. And it's interesting. To me, the first story is something that is
something that's particularly heart wrenching, right, we talked about all those emotions that the
parent has. But the last two have to do with something that's not heart wrenching in the same way,
but has to do with some of the strongest urges that people have the urge for sexual fulfillment,
right? And then the last one, which is the urge for money, right, which are two of the strongest
urges that people have. And so this guy, he's lusting and lusting after his cousin. And then what
happens is she ends up after all of his advances and being shut down, shut down, she ends up in a
		
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			hard situation where he can turn the screws on her and pressure her to get what he wants.
		
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			He has money she's in desperate need of money.
		
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			basically forcing her into prostitution to prostitute herself out to him.
		
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			And she accepts because she's in a desperate situation.
		
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			And when the time comes, he's right there about to do it.
		
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			She says something that clicks in him she appeals like we're gonna say it in the show on the flip
But tomorrow, just like Maria appealed to the angel Jibreel when she thought he was a man trying to
take advantage of
		
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			says if you fear Allah, she says the debris of
		
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			this woman is Hadith says something very similar.
		
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			fear Allah and don't break the seal, which you have no right to break.
		
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			You haven't earned the right for what you're about to do. You haven't invested
		
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			with the gallery like we're talking about in the second half of our classes, you haven't gone
through the proper channels to talk to my father, you haven't done this in the right way, you have
no right to do this. So fear Allah.
		
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			And he must have had something inside of him
		
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			that responded to that call. And so he walks away. But he doesn't just walk away, he also leaves her
the money, which is sent from him.
		
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			Nobody can do that, except someone who fears a lot.
		
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			And one of the
		
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			most central points of all of these three stories, but especially the second story,
		
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			is that what you believe
		
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			matters
		
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			when it comes to being a good person,
		
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			okay? It matters, it really does. Even if our society at present tells us that it doesn't matter.
		
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			says well, you can be a good person. And no matter what you believe,
		
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			if being a good person was being nice, cordial to other people saying please, thank you holding the
door open helping each other out. Perhaps that's true. But let's push it to the extreme. Let's say
all who's going to come through
		
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			when doing the right thing is against very much against their material interest.
		
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			Who's going to come through and do the right thing, when
		
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			nobody is watching, and you can't possibly get caught.
		
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			And you want to do the bad you want to do what's wrong. It's delicious. It's appealing, it's
alluring to do what's wrong. And you have the opportunity, no one sees you. You know, you're not
going to get caught. Who are the people that are going to be able to do the right thing in that
situation.
		
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			The people who fear a lot.
		
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			Not the people who pretend they fear a lot of people who actually fear Allah are going to be able to
overcome that temptation.
		
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			If not, every time that at a way higher rate of success than people who believe in other systems of
morality, whether it's human rights, whether it's culture, whether it's neighborliness, whether it's
community, all these things that are good, they're not wrong.
		
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			But at the end of the day, they're not enough.
		
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			They won't save
		
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			people from situations like this.
		
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			From taking advantage.
		
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			At least they won't save enough people.
		
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			Whereas true faith in Allah,
		
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			the One who sees all the one who hears all the one who's going to hold you to account in the
afterlife, eternal consequences.
		
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			That is strong enough to get people right.
		
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			We've already reached the 20 minute mark.
		
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			Ah, okay. And the last one.
		
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			The last story
		
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			money, the other urge, right? We have * and money the two big urges, right?
		
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			He has the opposite how many people in his situation? He wants to pay his workers his one worker has
left? How many people bosses, when managers would just pocket it? Say Yo, dude, you snooze, you
lose. You missed out.
		
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			I was there ready to pay you you went dude.
		
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			He didn't just hold it aside, he invested it. This is called an A so in Arabic, this is somebody who
wants good for the other person just the same as if that other person were he himself.
		
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			This type of level of Xand again, talking statistics probability, it's almost impossible to find
such a person like this unless they fear Allah
		
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			takes it, invests it.
		
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			And then the one of the most significant parts of it to me, is that when the dude comes back, he
gives it all to him. And the dude he's not like he's not just like saying nice and he's like, oh,
all this is yours. Like look at me I'm so generous and then expecting the other guy be like, no, no,
there's too much I'm just gonna take this better. Oh, do takes all of it and leaves doesn't even
look back once. doesn't even say, you know, it's like no, you should keep half a metre you should
take part of it for your trip.
		
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			Oh, no. It's like, All right, well, thanks. See.
		
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			And there's no rebuttal. There's no feeling of envy or he missed out or the opportunity or anything
from this person. That is sincerity. That is sincerity for Allah. So, we learned many, many things
from this honey.
		
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			I think it's time to transition to the flip of marriage. unless anybody has any comments
		
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			on the Hadith, if you can, you can throw it in the chat box and we'll get to it inshallah. Okay, so
I was sent a question. That's a very good question this week. It's actually a follow up to the
question that someone had sent at the end of class and the situation is this, okay? Apparently, in
the Yemeni culture, they do something where, okay, groom and bride are about to get married. Groom
specifies a dowry. Okay. In her scenario, it was $35,000, Masha, Allah, nice, chunky doubt. Good.
And then they also do this other thing, where they have a second amount of money of money that will
be paid to the bride, should there be a divorce?
		
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			Okay.
		
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			In addition
		
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			to keeping the doubt. All right. So in her scenario, there was
		
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			$35,000 Let's say paid up front, just to make it easy. Okay.
		
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			They're married consummation, yada, yada. Then they divorce. Okay, so Islamic law. consummation has
happened. She keeps all that money. 35,000.
		
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			And then, in the yummy culture, there's a second agreed upon amount of, of cash, which in this case
was $20,000. That was then paid. In addition, that 35 were up to $55,000 Masha Allah to the bride
		
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			as severance
		
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			for the divorce, the question was this is permissible. The answer is it's not just permissible. Many
of the scholars sought saw it as obligatory and the vast majority said that it was Sunday. This is
called a matar. And we don't really get into avatar except at the very end of the chapter of kneecap
and even at the end of the chapter of
		
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			of divorce.
		
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			Because it has to do with divorce. It has to do with severance, okay, but this is a forgotten sunnah
that a lot of people don't know about. It's when people hear the word Muhtar. They think about the
process or the practice of temporary marriages, which was in the beginning of Assam permissible and
then Allah abrogated it and made it impermissible. Okay, that was to agree to marry for a limited
amount of time and after the elapsing of that time that marriage contract would absolve okay, this
is also called multaq and this is not permissible. Because later on as the mission the prosthetic
Michigan then you have a lot removed the permissibility of that thing. Okay.
		
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			So, the Muhtar, that is the Sunnah is this will tie a severance pay.
		
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			Okay.
		
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			Now what you have any culture that seems that has done it seems that they have specified it upfront,
which is interesting. That's something that's new to me, I've never heard of that before. But this
is a good thing. It meets the goals of the city. Because whereas in the baseline permissibility, is
that it's expected and sometimes obligatory, for a man to pay severance to a woman that shouldn't be
divorced her. It's not something that is required to be specified. But I'm certain that in practice,
a lot of people have abandoned this Sunday. And so it seems that perhaps the Yemeni culture has
compensated for that abandonment, by taking care of it ahead of time, and specifying the amount to
		
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			be paid as severance
		
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			in case in the case of divorce, so women wanting to know your rights in the marriage contract. You
have a right to severance. Now, it's meant to not be specified.
		
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			In the sense of the shutdown, I didn't impose a specific amount. Just like with the dowry, there's
not an imposed specific amount because some people are wealthy, some people are poor. Some people
are happy with little some people are not happy except that they have a fairly comfortable
lifestyle. So there's has to be room for different types of situations. But however, knowing that
this exists
		
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			severance pay, and most often, and even asking for it to be identified or specified upfront is a
good idea is a very good idea, especially in the United States of America, where we do not make
family law decisions. Generally speaking, according to the Sharia, the sacred law,
		
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			just like your inheritance shares are not automatically applied. Because this country has a
different way of doing inheritance law, it would be a good idea, I think, to do what the Yemenis
have done, and to specify upfront what severance pay
		
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			would be expected and along those best.
		
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			So we left off on an issue of okay. What types of things are permissible to be given as dowry?
		
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			Question If a wife initiates let's say, I'll rephrase what you said. And I assume we mean the same
thing. Initiates divorce, first, right initiates the divorce,
		
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			then she then does she have to return the dowry back? Another question, what about prenups? Are they
the same?
		
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			Okay, very good. So, one at a time. The first thing is, what if the woman initiates divorce? Okay.
This is called quota. Okay, which is in Islamic law, different from divorce. When it comes, and
we'll get there, we'll get there. But as a preview, short, abbreviated answer, when it comes to an A
divorce that's initiated by the wife
		
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			that they, she owes him some sort of severance, that does not exceed the dowry, and that they can
come to an agreement upon.
		
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			Okay. So this happened at the time of the prophesy setting. There was someone who was married to a
gentleman, and she just didn't like him. She said, I don't complain about his character or his
religion. I just don't like it. And so the prophesy centum asked her,
		
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			he said, What was your dowry? And she said, it was this garden, he gave me this garden.
		
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			And she said, Would you excuse me, he's on a long list. And I'm saying, Well, you give back the
garden?
		
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			And she said, Yes. And so then the Prophet salallahu, Alaihe Salam went to the man and said, Take
the garden, and you guys are divorced. Okay, so that was a scenario in which the woman gave back her
dowry, in exchange for a divorce initiated from her.
		
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			She's also permitted the scholars upset to negotiate a similar sort of divorce, initiated by herself
if her husband won't do it on his own,
		
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			for less than the full amount of the dowry, if they can agree to that.
		
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			Okay, we're talking now, this is a situation where no oppression is involved, no rights are being
violated, things like that. All of those situations, we go we have different procedures, okay, as in
certain situations, the Imam or the Saddam can nullify
		
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			a marriage if there are issues of oppression or so so on and so forth. But in this
		
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			theoretical example, then the woman pays a part for all of her dowry, in order to initiate a divorce
from her husband.
		
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			What about prenups? Are they the same?
		
00:28:46 --> 00:29:01
			prenups in and of themselves, would be permissible from what I understand as long as they don't
violate anything in the sacred law. Okay. So for example, what if a man
		
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			tried to make a prenup that if he divorced his wife,
		
00:29:09 --> 00:29:11
			he would get the whole dowry back.
		
00:29:13 --> 00:29:17
			Right? That would not be permissible, that flies in the face of the sacred law,
		
00:29:18 --> 00:29:41
			right. However, if there was a prenup, for example, that was specifying a specific amount for
severance from the man to be paid to the woman upon divorce initiated by him, then that would be
something that would be permissible. So similarly to inheritance law, you can write a Will anybody
can write a will, that will can either be in
		
00:29:42 --> 00:30:00
			agreement or according to the sacred law or it can be in violation of a sacred law. The prenup is an
instrument, the instrument is neutral. It depends on how you structure it that determines whether it
is in accordance or in violation of the sacred law. So I hope that I
		
00:30:00 --> 00:30:00
			Hope that makes sense.
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:20
			Um, okay, so we had said there was an issue of what type of dowry? It's obvious if we can have a
dowry that is tangible, describable specific and countable when it comes to an amount given you
$35,000, right, not 35,000
		
00:30:21 --> 00:30:27
			duckets 35,000 seashells, right, no $35,000.
		
00:30:29 --> 00:30:47
			I'm not like whatever's in my I'll marry you for whatever is in my pocket. Right? Like we're talking
about there's consensus that the dowry is valid. If it is specific, when it comes to what type of
thing it is, what's the amount of the thing that is? And if it is specific to that one there,
		
00:30:49 --> 00:31:02
			so long as it's not fungible, meaning that each and every unit is interchangeable, such as like $1,
or currency or something like that. But what if, what if the dowry is something that's not specific?
		
00:31:03 --> 00:31:04
			What if the dowry
		
00:31:05 --> 00:31:11
			is something that's just a type of a thing? I'm going to get you a house.
		
00:31:12 --> 00:31:14
			I'm going to get you a car
		
00:31:16 --> 00:31:51
			and leave it at that. I will Hanifa ematic says that this is permissible, this is permissible. And a
Shafi and atman say no, this is not permissible. It has to be specific. Again, when we're coming
into these sorts of differences of opinion, these are about knowing your rights and what you have
the rights to demand, or what's allowed for you to demand. Right? If you are not satisfied by being
promised a house or a car, if that's not specific enough, you have grounds within the sacred law,
it's a push for something more specific.
		
00:31:53 --> 00:32:02
			If he refuses to do that, he's not necessarily in violation of the sacred law, because he has to
have the four
		
00:32:03 --> 00:32:26
			legal schools that back his opinion, but you don't have to agree on that. Right, it's an issue of
scholarly difference. What about delaying the dowry? Is it permissible to delay parts or all of the
dowry the scholars different about this as well? I will Hanifa Anna Shafi said that it is not
permissible to delay the dowry what so ever.
		
00:32:29 --> 00:33:13
			Whereas ematic and Iman admin, they said that it is permissible to delay the dowry, either part of
it or all of it. Okay, both of them are considering the rights of the people involved. Achmed and
magic are considering making things easy so that people don't have barriers to getting married. And
I will Hanifa and a Sharpie are considering making sure no one gets taken advantage of right, by
being promised a certain dowry, and then having the rug pulled out from under them, and nothing ends
up coming. Right. So again, when we come to differences of opinion like this, you know, the room,
you have to maneuver, right? If you're in a situation, you're negotiating a dowry, and the groom
		
00:33:13 --> 00:33:25
			wants to delay it, part of it, or all of it, you have the right to tell him no, I don't want to do
that. I want it paid upfront, before the marriage contract is actually conducted.
		
00:33:26 --> 00:33:30
			Next, we have a very nice issue. Okay. So in order to,
		
00:33:31 --> 00:34:00
			to set the stage for this issue, we're going to talk about conservation. No, don't worry, I don't
have pictures of charts. I want to talk about when is it considered? When is a marriage considered
consummated? Right, because we we learned previous class that the ruling of how much of the dowry
the woman is entitled to changes at the moment of that consummation. Okay.
		
00:34:01 --> 00:34:16
			If divorce falls before consummation or after consummation, it totally affects how much the bride is
going to receive. Okay, so if divorce occurs after the marriage is consummated.
		
00:34:18 --> 00:34:21
			Then the woman keeps everything 100 in love.
		
00:34:23 --> 00:34:29
			If divorce comes before consummation, like completely,
		
00:34:30 --> 00:34:33
			then she is entitled to have
		
00:34:34 --> 00:34:35
			for all of her trouble.
		
00:34:37 --> 00:34:37
			Okay.
		
00:34:38 --> 00:34:40
			Now we're going to get into
		
00:34:42 --> 00:34:44
			a gray area. Okay.
		
00:34:45 --> 00:34:47
			If we say that over here,
		
00:34:48 --> 00:34:49
			over here we have
		
00:34:50 --> 00:34:59
			an obvious situation of not having consummated the marriage. Okay. What are all the steps? Again,
I'm not going to draw a picture, but what are the steps
		
00:35:00 --> 00:35:13
			that are going to lead to the consummation, there's going to be a point at which there is seclusion.
Okay, hello. That means that the groom and the bride are going to be alone together in a secluded
place.
		
00:35:15 --> 00:35:16
			The bedroom
		
00:35:17 --> 00:35:20
			and then over here those consummation, okay.
		
00:35:22 --> 00:35:27
			What happens if they only made it this far?
		
00:35:28 --> 00:35:30
			But not this far, and divorce happens.
		
00:35:32 --> 00:35:37
			You see everybody understand the scenario. Okay, so consummation hasn't taken place.
		
00:35:39 --> 00:35:43
			But they have been secluded together so it could have taken place.
		
00:35:46 --> 00:35:48
			What do we treat this situation?
		
00:35:49 --> 00:35:54
			What's the big deal? Okay, the big deal is this when it comes to governing
		
00:35:55 --> 00:36:34
			the relationships between men and women that aren't married, but could potentially be okay. This
idea of seclusion is central. And it's established right here in the book of marriage, right? So
you're not allowed to be alone, in seclusion, with a person of the opposite *? Who in some
university you could marry? Why do I say in some universe because there are certain situations in
which you temporarily can't marry them. But if things were just a little bit different, she got
divorced or something like that, then you could then you couldn't marry? Okay. So this idea of
seclusion governs these things.
		
00:36:36 --> 00:36:53
			Because the prophets have always said um, he said, not to be alone. Any two people who are in this
seclusion, then the devil is the third one. He said, A man should not spend the night you know,
like, in the same house or dwelling as a woman and that they're the only two there.
		
00:36:54 --> 00:37:16
			And other hottie. Okay. So this governs our, our interactions with the opposite * this idea of
seclusion. And this also is important to establish because it shows us what is and isn't seclusion.
What's considered seclusion by the sacred law is a situation in which in which Consummating a
marriage could occur.
		
00:37:18 --> 00:37:25
			Okay, so if I'm speaking on WhatsApp, to a woman,
		
00:37:27 --> 00:37:35
			this might resemble some aspects of seclusion in that no one else can see what we're saying.
		
00:37:37 --> 00:37:41
			But does it really resemble seclusion as it is?
		
00:37:43 --> 00:37:56
			Important in the book of marriage? No, it does not. It does not. Should people be careful when
talking with the other *, opposite * in chat? And these sorts of things? Yes, they should.
		
00:37:57 --> 00:38:23
			But it seems taking it too far to try to imply that talking on the phone, or chatting, or even
driving in the car with somebody is seclusion in the same sense that we're talking about seclusion
here in the book of marriage, where we're saying that the that consummation can happen, nobody can
see, nobody can hear. They're alone together, physically.
		
00:38:24 --> 00:38:31
			Right? Everybody understand that point? Because there are scholars that say that, no, you can't be
in the car together.
		
00:38:33 --> 00:39:12
			And then we would say, okay, so if I'm driving, and there's a woman in the car, and I'm in the
middle of downtown Utica, can consummation happen? Are you serious? No, it can't. There's windows.
You can see through the windows, my office door has hamdulillah or Windows. So someone, a woman
needs to come in to talk for counseling, she's having a hard time with her husband, with their
parents or their children. She can come in and I can shut the door so no one can hear us. But
everyone can still see through the window. And so this avoids seclusion. This is not seclusion, like
what we're talking about here. seclusion, as defined by the sacred law is a situation in which
		
00:39:12 --> 00:39:14
			consummation of a marriage can occur.
		
00:39:15 --> 00:39:16
			No one hears
		
00:39:17 --> 00:39:37
			this way. No one hears no one sees and they're physically present together. Those three things.
Okay. So what's the ruling? What if they have they've achieved seclusion but they don't do the D.
They have not consummated the marriage. And then they divorce from the man. Does the woman get half
or does she get everything?
		
00:39:39 --> 00:39:40
			The scholars have different
		
00:39:41 --> 00:39:45
			Malik and a Sharpie. They say that she gets half.
		
00:39:46 --> 00:39:52
			Whereas Abu Hanifa and Iman, so that she gets everything. It's just as if
		
00:39:53 --> 00:39:55
			they had completely consummated the marriage.
		
00:40:00 --> 00:40:11
			Now that was if they agreed what happens if they disagree? What happens if they achieved seclusion?
But then they there's a divorce. One of them says
		
00:40:13 --> 00:40:25
			that they consummated the marriage and the other one says that they didn't. Hmm. Juicy issue, huh?
Very, very, very interesting. We have conflicts of interest. What do you think? Who's going to be
believed?
		
00:40:27 --> 00:40:29
			You believe the groom? Or do you believe the bride
		
00:40:38 --> 00:40:46
			this issue is only an issue for Malik and Shafi by the way, because I will Hanifa an Atmel already
say she gets all of it. So there's no what a
		
00:40:49 --> 00:41:20
			masala. See, you guys are thinking like polka. I like it. You're now thinking like the scholars. You
see, she has more to lose. She does. That was what Malik said, that accent so the writers believe
chafford he disagreed. He said that the husband has believed and Allah knows better. But I like the
I think that the opinion of Malik in my very, very humbling unqualified opinion is closer to the
overall goals of the media, the sacred law, and especially in the book of marriage.
		
00:41:22 --> 00:41:28
			Okay, now, what if? What if? And we're running out of time, so we'll try to wrap it up?
		
00:41:31 --> 00:41:32
			What if the divorce occurred?
		
00:41:34 --> 00:41:36
			before consummation before
		
00:41:38 --> 00:41:54
			before seclusion even. But it was due to the woman mean, the woman broke it off. The potential bride
broke it off instead of the husband we've talked about. If this were to happen, and the husband or
potential the groom, broke it off than the woman gets half.
		
00:41:58 --> 00:42:00
			What happens if she's the one that breaks it off?
		
00:42:06 --> 00:42:10
			The majority said that she doesn't get anything. Because she's the one that broke it up.
		
00:42:12 --> 00:42:18
			What's the worst scholars that say that she gets half? Regardless, they're a minority. But they did
say that.
		
00:42:20 --> 00:42:28
			And we could keep going all night with this stuff. There's so many interesting issues in the
gallery. But it looks like we're getting out of time.
		
00:42:32 --> 00:42:33
			So we stopped there.
		
00:42:34 --> 00:42:38
			Yeah, there's a lot of issues about the doubt. Gallery has some really, really,
		
00:42:39 --> 00:42:41
			really interesting issues.
		
00:42:43 --> 00:42:46
			We'll start out there for the main show anybody else have any questions?
		
00:42:59 --> 00:43:40
			I want everybody to keep something in their minds. Okay. When we're going through all these issues,
you can be like, Oh my Lord, why is the email I'm just like droning on and on about all of these
differences of opinion. I can't keep who's straight and all of this stuff. I want you to ask, each
of you're gonna have to answer a question after we're done this, right, because nowadays, we hear
people loving a feminist critique the entire scholarly tradition, stretching back 1400 years. And so
the question I want you all to answer in your minds, by the time we get through the book of marriage
and the book of divorces, how concerned were the scholars with the rights of women?
		
00:43:42 --> 00:44:04
			I would contend if you go issue by issue and you're in the trenches and looking at the nitty gritty,
the scholars were very, very concerned about the interests of women in marriage and divorce. And
we'll see what you all think, by the time we get through it. Okay, great. Thank you, everybody. Have
a wonderful rest of your week. Enjoy the snow. Well all the time to Adam, so don't worry