Tariq Appleby – Conflict Resolution – Stop Fighting

			Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah
		

			Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh this historic applebee for marriage QA, and today
inshallah Allah, we talk about conflict resolution in the month of Ramadan, the month of Ramadan,
especially the first few days is the time where, you know, tempers will flare where people will
lose, you know the data, they'll become angry, there'll be frustrated, you know, the first few days
Mashallah people are finding it extremely difficult to fast. And it's important as a couple that you
understand that this could happen, and that you have the tools and you have the methods and
techniques at your disposal to make sure that, you know, just simple you know, emotional flare ups
		

			do not become, you know, major conflicts in your marriage. And it's extremely important because they
are going to be certain disagreements that are going to come up in the month of Ramadan, they could
be simple or they could be more complex examples of this could be that you have been invited to a
certain person's home, the wife wants to go and the husband does not. And so, an argument ensues, or
it could be the opposite. Or in the month of Ramadan, you have a certain you know, list of goals and
expectations but your spouse does not share them, you have a certain certain idea of of what you
would like to do for a farm, you know, officer who and your spouse doesn't agree with you, or you
		

			find that you know, your family members or your friends sort of impose on you in the month of
Ramadan. And so that is a source of of tension and conflict. So, it is important inshallah huhtala
whether we are in Ramadan or outside of Ramadan, but this is especially and specifically in the
month of Ramadan, since it's a month of mercy, it's a month of coming, you know, closer to Allah
subhana wa tada that you have this understanding of what the Sharia and what Islam teaches about
conflict and how to resolve that. The first thing that we need to realize is that the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked for advice, and he told them and lots of above, do not become
		

			angry, that it is important that we're lucky we control our emotions, that you realize that you are
becoming angry, and you actively and you proactively take steps to make sure that you listen that
and that you call the middle way those who control the rage and the and the anger that is a quality
of the belief is and you should realize that when you become angry, as soon as you realize it, you
should start to control your anger and realize that it's going to lead to something that you are not
going to that you are not going to be proud of later. If you understand all of those repercussions,
then inshallah tada that makes it easy. The second thing is that when couples have any conflict or
		

			any disagreement, they both have to feel a loss of a handle with either fear or a law. This is your
spouse, this is a person you you have committed and you made an oath by Allah subhanho wa Taala you
said cobuild to deca, ha ha I have accepted her in marriage. So as a husband, you have agreed to
stay fulfilling certain rights and responsibilities that Allah subhana wa tada has given you, Sophia
allottee, guarding her detail well. And as a woman, you have been commanded to teach your husband
well to obey Him and to take care of him to take care of his household Sophia Allah subhanho wa
Taala is that the second or the third matter that's important for us to realize when any conflict,
		

			you know arises is that we have to be gentle. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said makanda
riff COVID a lesson that whenever there is gentleness in a matter, it beautifies you know, you you
realize that you are about to have an argument, you might be losing your temper that hamdulillah you
know how to deal with it. So you've cooled down now, and you've you've controlled your anger. The
next thing that you have to realize after fearing a loss of a hand over data, is that if you are
gentle, you will bring about you will beautify that situation. You will bring calmness and
tranquility to it. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would never become angry. Eventually
		

			this would only become angry with the laws of Allah were being violated. That is when he would
become angry, which means that when his wife was frustrating him when she did something that angered
him the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam would not lose his temper, and start becoming vulgar. And
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam a person who was vulgar, nor would he ever speak in a vulgar
way. And so this is also important, gentle this, if we can have this in our marriages, we will
beautify our marriages, our spouses will appreciate it. You know, they will be surprised because
everyone else that they know when they become angry, they become vulgar, and you know, they become a
		

			* and they use, you know, obscene language and they become, you know, people, you know, sometimes
you don't even recognize them. And how many couples You know, I've told me that sometimes when my
spouse becomes angry, I don't even know who they are. This is not Islam. This is not the Sunnah. And
so to have this beautiful marriage, we need to be gentle woman, Lucy, I mean, Shane Illa Shana, and
when it is taken away, it will spoil it and that spoils a marriage when couples become violent,
aggressive, when they become you know, obscene in this speech, and then they spoil their marriages,
they lose respect for one another, the resentment grows and that is that cannot none of those things
		

			can be present in a marriage and we will we will call that marriage.
		

			healthy and successful, this this is extremely important the month of Ramadan, you are controlling
your your your innermost and most you know intimate desires by not eating and drinking and engaging
in sexual * during the day from fudger until until sunset. So if you can do that for the
sake of Allah, then surely you can control your anger, you can control you know your, your your
willingness or other your your desire to want to say something hurtful to your spouse, if you can
stay away from food and drink that which you desire which you need for your survival, then surely,
you can control every other you know, desire every other whispering of shaitaan you can you can
		

			control that you can prevent that from becoming an issue in your marriage. am Allah subhanho wa
Taala brought the success in sha Allah, Allah, may he guide us to Sudan all of our affairs,
especially in our marriages, so that we can have these marriages that will become the foundations of
living a successful life as a believer. We have this beautiful spouse that will encourage us and
bring us closer to Allah greater success in this world and in the next May Allah subhanho wa Taala
grant each and every one of us that barakallahu li cul de sac of Allahu halen whatsoever alikum
warahmatu Allahi wa barakato