Tamara Gray – Have you made the intention to go to Hajj

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			The first year I moved back to
Damascus,
		

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			I was taking Quran classes, and I
was struggling to memorize a verse
		

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			about Hej, the one that's in Surat
Al Baqarah,
		

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			or one of the ones in Surat Al
Baqarah, was really struggling.
		

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			And my teacher was like, What's
wrong with you? Why did you not
		

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			recite it at home? Did you not
write it down? Did you not like
		

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			all these things that she would
ask me to do? So I did all of
		

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			these things. I just can't
remember it. She said, go to the
		

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			other room and review it and come
back later. So I did this. I went
		

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			to the other room, and while I was
there, I was just like, What is
		

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			wrong with me? I'm it's
memorization is difficult for me.
		

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			It was always has been, of course,
even more so as I age. But I
		

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			wasn't raised in a memorizing
culture, and I wasn't had zero
		

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			practice, but nonetheless, I had
done the same effort here as
		

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			everything else, and yet I just
couldn't get it out of my mouth.
		

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			And I realized that I had not made
the intention to go on has we were
		

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			flat broke. We had been students
before that, and now we were
		

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			living in Damascus. My husband was
still looking for a job there. I
		

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			had landed a substitute job at the
American School like we were flat
		

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			broke, but I hadn't made the
intention, and I realized, Oh,
		

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			that's not okay. So I made the
intention, and literally, I
		

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			remembered the verse I went in and
I recited it. And subhanAllah, I
		

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			want to invite everyone here if
you have not been unheish, if you
		

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			have not been on HESH, right now,
just pause for a minute and go
		

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			into their deepest heart and just
say, Yeah, Allah, I intend to go
		

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			on. Has you? You make the time I
you know I'm ready. When you're
		

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			ready, I hope for a soon
invitation, but I intend from now.
		

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			I intended it 27 years old, and I
didn't go until I was 46 I think
		

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			4546
		

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			and, I mean, that's that. And
every year I would every year I
		

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			would ask every in the first few
years, I didn't, I mean, we just
		

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			had, it was an impossibility. But
every year I sort of looked around
		

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			and wondered, would this be the
year? Would this be the year?
		

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			Would this be the
		

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			year? As Paula took a long time,
but what a blessing it was when I
		

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			finally was able to go and for all
of you, sha Allah, make the
		

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			intention. That's part of
fulfilling this Islam. That's part
		

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			of saying yes. It's part of saying
yes, I am of the Muslim mean, and
		

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			muslimat that I intend to go on
Hajj. I don't know how. I don't
		

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			know when Allah spanza will invite
me at the best time, sha Allah,
		

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			but I intend to go on Hajj and
fulfill this rekin, this pillar
		

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			of my religion as.