Taimiyyah Zubair – Taleem al Quran 2012 – P24 249D Tafsir Ha-Mim Al-Sajdah 34-36
AI: Summary ©
The speakers explore the concept of "good and evil" and how it relates to behavior and emotions. They stress the importance of trusting oneself and not trying to overestimate one's own abilities. The speakers also emphasize the need for patience and educating people about the environmental initiative. Branded behavior is highlighted as a way to achieve goals in marriage and change one's behavior.
AI: Summary ©
Then Allah says wala and not just the we it is equal. It is the same. They're not equal it is not the same What does not equal al Hassan to the good wala a nor a Surya the evil,
meaning the good and the evil are not the same. They're not equal at all. And you see over here Wallah c'est la, right, this la wa la se la over here is actually that it it's extra adding emphasis, because saying La at the beginning once a sufficient but when LA is repeated, then emphasis is being given that the good and the bad are not equal. No, not at all. No way.
They're not equal, in what sense in their effect in their result in their merit. They're not the same.
What is good and what is evil. Good. For example, Iman evil as in Cofer, Eman and coffered are not the same. Why would you call someone to Allah? Because you're inviting them to Eman because he man and kofod are not the same.
suburb is good jazz are being impatient, not good, either the same? Or the same? Being patient and being impatient? Are they the same? Not at all. In their merit, they're not the same in their result, they're not the same in their reward. Or in the consequence, they're not the same. Likewise, Sabra and hubub patients and anger, tolerance and forgiveness they're not the same. Very, very different.
Alright, tolerance and intolerance, they're not the same.
So whenever stir, will Hassan ATO will say here, then what should you do if they're not the same?
What should you adopt the good or the evil?
The good.
The good.
If you think about it, let's take an example. A good statement versus an evil statement.
Right? A good statement versus an evil statement. Let's say somebody purchase something and you disagree with that completely. Why waste your money over this? And let's say that person happens to be your brother or your husband. All right, well, your mom, she went on another makeup shopping spree and she bought a whole lot of makeup and you're like Mom, supposed to buy me a new jacket or something. And here you are buying more makeup. What are you doing? They buy something? You don't agree with that purchase? And they're so excited when you go home. It's all laid out on the table. They're really for you to come to they can show you everything. What could be Hassan over there and
what could we say here over there?
What could be her Santa's nice? Mashallah. I like it. Good choice. What could be say over there?
Huh? Another one of those. What are you doing? I thought you were saving our first one thing. I thought we were supposed to be more wise in our spendings what's going on? There's a difference. There is a difference. I said that when you say a good statement, you give out positive vibes positive feelings. What does that create? Love? Affection, right? That closeness and intimacy, that level of comfort that two people develop with each other because of which they can influence each other in a much better way.
You could you know, because of the love and the friendship and the intimacy that you share with someone because you always say positive statements to them. Perhaps they will realize themselves that that spending was not wise.
Right? So the effect is different and evil statement when you're treating an adult like an immature child, that how could you waste so much money and what's wrong with you grow up already, and if you treat your husband like that, especially what's gonna happen
that's gonna happen. The same statement is gonna bring same results that closeness that intimacy will never develop that trust will never develop
and because of that, the two will not care for each other. They will not be concerned for each other. So let the stir will hasten to Walesa good and evil are not the same. So when you say something hurtful, don't expect good results. When you say something mean don't expect love and concern from the other.
You understand? Our problem is we say such hurtful evil statements and what do we want from the other person? Change it as if we want to believe them into listening to us. It doesn't work like that. Because well that does the will has an A to Wallace I hear good brings good
An evil brings evil. So good and evil are not the same. When you say something good, you will expect good results. And when you say something evil, please don't expect good results. While at the start, we'll have Senator Walesa here. So what should you do then? Because in daily life, do we come across evil being done to us?
Yeah.
And not necessarily in the way of abuse. But it could also be, we see that people don't realize what's important to us.
They don't realize our priorities. So what should you do a default rebel bility with that, which here it is a person best rebel rebel, what the evil that is done to you how, with that, which is a son, notice it's not her son, it is a son, because her son is good son is that which is better than the other?
Meaning respond in a better way.
Do better than what the other did to you.
It far be lucky here, son, it is Eisen in the best possible way, in a better way than how you were treated. So for example, if someone falsely accuses you then say something like, If what you say is true, then May Allah forgive me. And if what you say is false, then May Allah forgive you. This is a better response, as opposed to saying something harsh in return. So if our ability here arson,
what's the result of this? What's the benefit of this? Allah says, fair either. So then, Allah, the, the person who Binaca between you will be know who and between him meaning between the two of you was idle within there was enmity previously, because of which they did evil to you? What will happen? Because you rebelled, they're evil with good, what's going to happen? That person with whom you had enmity, he will be unaware, as if indeed he is when he Yun, a friend who is having a close, intimate friend.
This is how you turn enmity into love, into friendship. You turn hatred into friendship. And no Walid Yoon Hamid, who is Wali, a friend who offers who offers help and support homies who is hammy
intimate friend remember, the word Hamid also means boiling hot water right?
We learnt this word earlier in the context of hellfire. How mean is also used for a friend. Because, you see, there are certain friends who in their love and concern for you, they actually have emotions for you. And those emotions, they don't just stay controlled and calm. When somebody is attacking you. They get all agitated.
You understand? It's as if this start boiling inside. When somebody harms you
think of a mother. Think of a mother how defensive she becomes when somebody says even a negative comment about her child.
Right? She becomes very defensive. So I know who Willie Yun Hemi you know how mean we don't know her mean, because perhaps we don't have her memes. But her meme it's like, you know, think of two people who are in love and genuine love
genuine concern. It's not just love as in because of the looks and whatnot. No, it's love to the point of intimacy, like attachment and closeness and commitment and friendship.
Like really they're together. So, if one is attack, then will the other not defend
will the other not defend? He will defend? So what will happen here is that when you will repel evil with good the same person who did evil to you will actually become a friend and not just a friend, but someone who cares about you. Here they were attacking you and now they care about you. Do we see this in the Sunnah in the in the life of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam don't we learn of numerous examples of how people they said that era Salah there was no person whom I hated the most. But you and now there is no person whom I love the most. But you that hatred turned into love.
Like speaking about the Sunnah and like sad
habit or tagline, who had something similar happened to them? So the great grandson of the processor, Mali, even Hussein. So Hussein was the grandson of the Prophet. And then Hussein's son, it was walking once and then sorry, he was leaving the message once and a man came to him and insulted him. And then the people around him said, you know, we're gonna attack him, like, we're gonna hurt him. How can he say that too? He had royal, like a high status inside, obviously, he's a descendant of the process. And then I leave prevented them from doing that. He turned to the man who said, what you've said, in reality, my sins are more than that. So like, whatever you you said about
me, like you've concealed so much more. And then he told the people don't attack him and he collected 1000 dinar, I think, he handed it to the man and then the man left. And then every single time after that point, whenever the man would see him, he would say, I testify you're of the children of the Prophet. So I sent us. So um, when our teacher was sharing this, he was saying, this is how you change people's like hearts towards you. You don't like retaliate or repel. And it also he thought, whatever he saying about me allies conceals so much more. For me, that is true. And to respond in this beautiful way, that you need us to karma, right? To hold yourself in place and not
say something negative.
Smilla Salam Alikum. I remember once my kids somebody hit him. My name was Ron, he's Muslim, too. So and he's older than my son that this kid and then I get upset, and I was going to talk to this kid, why did you hit him because he didn't really badly. So I'm going I remember this I, so I changed my thinking. And then I say I call him, I said, you know, I trust you, when I send my son, I trust you because you're older project to him. So I didn't expect you're gonna hit him. And I talked to him nicely. After that he became really, really good friend to my son.
Yeah, because you said I trust you, you're older, you're like the older brother. So you see how the negative is turned into positive.
Somebody else raise your hand. Okay? Slow, like Google
Scholar once said that the knifes is like a wild horse. So if somebody wants to tame a wild horse, what do they do when they get onto the horse, the horse wants to shake them off. But they just cling and hold on and put up with everything for a long time. And then the horse understands that this person is controlling me. So that's the same thing with the nerves, you just have to control the nerves. And only then over a long period of time that only you will get that kind of control of the nerves. And not just the nerves. But any person, you know, if you want to convince them, if you want to be on good terms with them, initially, there will be some level of rejection. But you have to
tolerate that. And you can't reciprocate evil with evil because it's only going to worsen the situation.
As I go, this reminds me of this one technique that people a lot of times people use with little kids is that to make them stronger, they say, No, no, like, you know, they put a lot of bad stuff in their head to make them stronger. It's like a back home type of thing. Thinking like, No, you're so dumb, go back and fight them or something like that, right? You have to be strong, or you have to be this. But it actually I saw a picture on Facebook, there's a picture of a girl and her head is open. And there's a person speaking from her head, all the bad stuff is coming out and the girl is crying because all these bad things is jamming up in her head that you're dumb, you're weak, you're this
and that, you know, like people say to kids, you're weak, you better go fight, but they think they're encouraging. But they're not. It's actually discouraging kids. Yes, very true. You know, for boys, when typically boys are told boys don't cry.
Don't cry. Don't be a girl. Are you a girl? Right? Be a man be strong. This actually hurts them. It harms them more than it benefits them. And we think that the way of encouraging someone is by bullying them, no way. It doesn't work. Boys are human beings also. And they can cry. They can cry, they can have tears and they can feel weak. And it's perfectly fine. There's this documentary I watched recently, the mask you wear or something like that. And it's about boys, that how, you know they're treated in a way that they're not allowed to be themselves. They're not allowed to display any emotions and they're told to man up and be strong. And this actually harms them. It leads them
towards violence. And that violence is expressed in many different ways. So gentleness is always good.
Like in Hadees, we learned that Allah gives because of riff because of gentleness what he does not give because of harshness, meaning the results that you can get because of gentleness, you can never ever get those results through harshness. Always, this is a fact. So in the far bility, he had our son. Why? Because then for either law, the Boehner Kobina, who are at our turn, under who will you in her name, this is how you turn enemies into friends of one incentive supporters, rebellious into compliant, disobedient into obedient, this is the solution. And you see, to Repel evil with good, where do you have to bring the change first? Inside? Because you want to respond to evil with evil,
but you have to bring the change within No, don't respond with evil, instead respond with God. So if you want to solve the problem at hand, what do you do? Begin by changing, changing your own self? Yes. It doesn't just necessarily mean that you have to also like treat others Ghibli as well. You can also you have to also treat yourself well as well. You can't keep putting yourself down giving yourself bad comments all the time as well, because that doesn't also give you a good result. You have to also be encouraging to yourself as well. Very true, because sometimes we put ourselves down a lot. Right? So that is all to say, Yeah, I mean, if you've made a mistake, it's because you're
human. Now don't dwell on that mistake and keep putting yourself down, because it's not going to bring positive change. If you want positive change, you need to create positivity. Right? Because positive will lead to more positive and negative will lead to more negative.
You know, there's a story about samama Love the long run one of the companions of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam he was from a distant land in Arabia. He was basically an enemy to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam every now and then attacking Muslims, Muslim land, sending people to Medina to hurt the Prophet sallallahu sallam, even though he'd never met him himself and never really found out about what the true message was. So what happened at one time, so mama, he got caught by the companions. All right, and they brought him into Medina and we're so happy that yes, this person who has been harming us, we've got him and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam had him die to one of the
pillars of the Masjid. So basically, he was imprisoned in the masjid. All right. Now typically an enemy like that, you will get your hands on him, what do you do?
Take revenge, satisfy your anger. But that was not done. The model was kept in the masjid. And every day he was offered food and the Prophet sallallahu sunnah would come and see him every morning. And he would ask him how everything was. And some Allah would give the same response every day, that you know, if you want money, Ransom, well, you know, we've got it. And if you kill me, then you're going to kill a person whose blood carries a lot of weight, meaning there's going to be consequences. So basically, he was giving the Prophet sallallahu Sallam both options. If you want money, we got it, you can have it. And if you want to kill me, then be careful. And the Prophet saw the loss and we
just smile and he would leave. Right and the third day, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam set him free,
set him free, didn't take any ransom from him, didn't threaten to kill him. There was no torture, abuse, nothing. The three days that he was kept in the masjid was so that he could see who Muslims really are. Who the prophets, Allah Lawson really is. And when he saw with his own eyes, the third day he was set free, you're free, go home, we'll do whatever you do. This man, he went bit, you know, got ready came back to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and declared his Shahada. He accepted Islam.
And then this man was the sahaba. He was a man of great influence and wealth. His trade caravans would go into Makkah. So basically, the food that came into Makkah was sent by him. He was from your mama, right? And so the food that would come into my car was signed by him. And so he told them was tricky that if you deal with the Prophet sallallahu sallam, and this way you're not getting any more food.
And then when she came there actually requested the Prophet sallallahu know that please tell your guy now he's your guy. Tell him to please continue the trade with us because we are in need of food. We can't survive nothing goes in Makkah. So the point here is that how someone who was out to get the life of the prophet Sallallahu Sallam now he became his wali and Hamid.
You see anytime we find hostility,
then change it with love.
You know, like a board one sec. Killam would love even I'm talking about?
Kill them with love. Google it. I know what world you live in. Yes, go ahead.
When we're trying to correct someone, for example, a close friend or a family member, it requires a lot of stubborn right? If you just say it spell
out to them that, you know, you shouldn't be doing this, then wouldn't that gap like space them more Distant? Distant from them? Yeah, exactly. So that requires a lot of software. And can you elaborate on that? How that can be done and everything? Okay. So giving a hasty, you know, response, or criticism is very easy. You know, you see somebody doing something wrong, even a child and in order to discipline them, you just say whatever you thought in your mind, right away without even thinking, when we see in the way of the Prophet sallallahu, especially in the way that he dealt with sama bin Athan is time giving time and being patient. So many times when you see somebody doing
something wrong, the best thing to do is just don't look at them. Don't look at them. And by that I don't mean ignore and pretend like nothing's happening. Don't look at them, turn your eyes away, because you know, they're doing something wrong. And you know, it's making you super angry inside. And the thing is that if you speak right now, you're not thinking rationally, you're not thinking rationally. You need time, to think, to analyze, to compose yourself, and then respond properly, you need to think about it. So allow yourself some time, give yourself some time. And for that, if you have to turn your eyes away, please do that. You have to do that this advice actually, my mother
gave me once there was a particular situation in which she came in warned me, she said, Something's going on. And when you will see it, you will not like it. It was very difficult for me to hear that from my own mother, because she knows me so well, is that you when you see it, you're not going to like it. So when you go, don't look.
She didn't say say this, instead of this and say that instead of that. She said, Don't Look, don't look, this is how you control yourself. Right? Just ignore and give yourself time. Because if you say something in haste, you're gonna cause more damage.
Right? And you see, sometimes you differ with somebody, not because you're right, and they're wrong. You differ with them, just because your way of doing things is different from the way they do things. All right. And that doesn't mean you're right, and they're wrong. It's just two different ways of doing the same thing. But as women, maybe maybe it's a woman problem, that we're very particular about the way we load our dishwasher. And the way we fold our clothes and the way we tie our hijab, you know, and if it's done even slightly differently, we're not happy. So if these things are going to create problems, please don't look. You know, allow yourself some peace. And don't look
at everything that's going against your desires.
I just want to share with you a story, this doctor he was sharing in somebody sent him in WhatsApp, this doctor he was saying this family, husband and wife, they have problem fighting all the time. And then the husband he called and he said I'm really tired with this woman. I'm going to leave her he said Don't leave her but try this whenever she was or you just tell her ear acid in like honey, so if you tell her that I sell, honey, oh yeah, I sell taller and then a sha Allah she will be okay. And then he said okay, then when she let him he forgot to say that. He just left the house and he went to his work she called him to tell him I'm leaving the house like I'm not going to be with you
anymore. And then he'd pick up the phone he remember that doctor SWAT and heat Alleria acid, when he say as well, she changed the talk and she said You forgot the tea to drink teas. So can I bring it for you?
Yes, because the thing is we create the culture that is around us. We created with our words. Right? So if we are you know showing positivity through our words, then the other person is kind of forced to be positive.
Yeah, I was thinking for you. As a woman always we expect the husband say that. We should say that too. You know, because woman can change the husband.
Oh yeah. This is very true.
If our ability here our son, you have to do that all the time.
And sometimes is the anger is same thing when you are very angry. You can see what is right and what is wrong. And actually happened to me, one of my longtime friend, she got upset she had a right to upset but I wanted to explain to her but she did not wait until I go to her and explain to her whatever it is. And she called me and she was really really upset. It was like a year ago. And all I can say is like you
Okay, okay, she said, you making me more angry because you're not explaining it, I want to explain to you, but not now. That's all I said it took her 10 days not to talk to me and not allow me even to explain. So what I wrote down is I wrote down a letter with six page explaining. And she's the one who apologized to me because we lost it. 10 days for nothing. Because whatever she was thinking it was not even close. So sometimes when you are upset or you hear something, just take time, don't answer it. Don't call back. Just think over. Yes, let the storm pass. Right? Let things calm down, and then respond in a better way.
In married especially, this is extremely important, because many problems in marriage begin with what a snappy tongue, right? Always a snapping back. And that is being hasty and judgmental and critical and finding faults in the other person. And the fact is that nobody is perfect. Right. And what the other person wants in a marriage is acknowledgement and acceptance that treat me as an adult, you know, because I'm married now, I'm not my mom's baby anymore, I'm married, I'm an adult. So treat me as an adult, I acknowledge, accept my decisions, respect my decisions. So you know, when you treat the other person like that, and you accept them, their decisions, even when you disagree
with them, you are creating a positive culture.
You're creating a very positive culture. And this is why, you know, many marital problems are solved simply by changing yourself. What most people are worried about is changing their spouse. But no, you can't change your spouse, but you can change yourself, to change yourself, change your words, change the way you discuss things and argue and debate and whatnot, but change yourself and you will definitely find positive results. Allah subhanaw taala says Walmart and not you will not call her he will be granted it he is made to receive it, he's made to meet it, you will not call from lucky or lucky as to meet. So now you will not call her none is granted it and it is referring to this noble
trait, noble quality of responding to evil with good, right, or the ability of turning enemy into friend. Right and eventually such a good outcome that your enemy turns into your friend. None receives this inland Lavina Sadaharu except for those who are patient. So how do you achieve such results? Through submission? Patients? Wanna you will call her and none is granted it Illa except Lu Havlin, a possessor of a share of a portion. What kind of abortion? Are we great how how well law is used for a portion, a good portion of something, meaning of something positive. So the person who has a great portion as in very fortunate, a person who's got a lot of hires. Now a person might say,
Well, I'm not really a good person. So then that means I can't be patient and that means I can't have success in these matters. No, you've got to start somewhere. What this means is that if you can have sub,
if you can make yourself observe patients, then you got a good share a big portion of goodness of meaning you're very, very fortunate. Your success begins with your ability to have to observe patients, though how Rinaldi I mean, this is like a rich person. Alright, a rich person. So remember, in the hula to help lean or lean we read this in the Quran earlier also very wealthy rich person. So richness is like success. So a person who's successful how do they reach that level of success through suburb?
Well, now you will have our hair in the medina Savile Row one or you will call her Illa when I leave, so only those with sub can control themselves, their volume they can bear the you know the irritation, and such people are highly successful. What ima and if Ian Zohan Naka it what's the translation that you have? Yen's of Unaka
it definitely provokes you. Mina che you're funny from the Shaitan NAS one and evil suggestion. Ian's are on Naka NAS one from their letters Nunes a line and nuzzle is to create discord to create facade create problems
And the word is also used for encouraging someone to do evil promptings evil suggestion.
Because when somebody suggests you with something evil, then what happens? Is it going to create problems?
Like, for instance, your, you know, somebody's really criticizing you, right? They're not being fair with you in their conversation. So I happen to your little upset and somebody says, You know what you should respond,
you should definitely give them a piece of your mind, you should definitely put them in place. This is not right, you should put them in place. So you listen to them. And you make an attempt to put the other person in their place. Is this going to create problems? Yeah, this situation is gonna get worse than before. So what in my Enza Hana come in a shaytani R has one function, Tom comes an evil suggestion.
When,
at the time once a year is being thrown at you, and what's that evil suggestion? Respond with the same? respond right away, you're going to lose your chance. Look at what she's doing and look at what he is doing. You better say something, you have to correct them, you have to stop them. This is an evil suggestion. What do you need to do? First start beloved and seek refuge with Allah.
So somebody's, let's say, loading the dishwasher.
The way you do not like at all, and it really bothers you. Some people like that just bothers them. If everything is not done the way they want it to get done. So then first there is Biller, really, at that time, also say oh, the Belemnite shockline regime and don't look at them. Don't honestly, it's these little little things that create problems in our lives.
The poor husband wants to help you know, he feels bad for the wife, she just came home Sunday. You know, she was in class sitting for two and a half hours today, they had an extra long class. So you know what, I load the dishwasher for her? And you go home and you open the dishwasher? Like
who did this?
Thanks. But no, thanks. No, no, no. What you need to do there is open the dishwasher, look at everything and say are the biller human history apply? And
that's what you need to do.
It's not easy, but you have to do that. See? Oh, there bIllahi min. Ash shaytani. R rajim. You need Allah's help. Because Shavon wants to create evil, he wants to create facade over there.
Here your husband, your sister, your mother, your brother, whoever trying to help you. But you're irritated by their help.
Seriously, how much worse could it be?
Don't say out loud out loud. Okay, because the other person's gonna think
that could also lead to problems. So controlling yourself, or with a villa human, a shade line allergy? Because you know what? The thing is that if our relationships with the people we are living with are not right, then we cannot live peaceful lives. If you can't find happiness inside your own house. Where will you find peace? If you don't get support from those who you are living with, tell me where will you get that support? And shaytaan creates problems in the house, between husband and wife between mother and child. Why? Because if a person is unhappy in these closest relationships, they're not going to be happy and satisfied anywhere. So first started below. In the who who was
Samira Darlene Indeed he is the hearing the knowing Allah has heard what has happened and he knows what's going on. So seek Allah's protection against the shape on let's listen to the recitation
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There's a story in Haiti.
It's reported in a sensor to Soho in which we learned that a companion or bad been shut up. He said that I was extremely hungry. And I found a garden in Medina. And I went into that garden and there were great wines. And there were grapes. So I was so hungry that I actually ate some grapes. And I also took a bunch and kept it in my clothes, so that I could take it with me. And he said that while I was doing that, the owner came. And when the owner came, he got upset with him. He beat him. And he not only took that bunch of grapes back, but he also took his, you know, that garment in which he had put the grapes he took that from him. Also he confiscated that he was really upset. So then our
bed will go lower. I knew he went to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and told him to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam called the owner of the garden. And he said that he was ignorant. Why did you not teach him?
He was ignorant. He was committing theft. All right, he was taking from your garden, what was not his Wyden to teach him? You should have taught him that Brother, this is not right. This is theft. If you were hungry, you should have come and asked me. Why did you not teach him? He was hungry? Why did you not feed him? Meaning you should have taught him and you should have fed him. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam ordered that the cloth be returned to him. And then he instructed that owner of the garden, that you should give him something because you beat him, you hit him. So if our ability here arson, because when somebody is doing something wrong, they're doing it out of
ignorance,
isn't it? They're doing it out of ignorance. So the way of correcting them is not by being harsh with them. But by wanting the best for them. And when you want the best for them, no sir sincerity, then you will bring about better results through your patients and good treatment of the other. Yes.
I remember when sister Tamia was talking about relationships. In 2009, my son got married. And he knows his mom very well, that she likes to see everything in its place. And now there's a new person coming into the family and she's going to be on her back. So he talked to me one day, and he said, I just wanted to tell you mom that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam throughout his life, whoever was with him, he never told them, why did you do this, like this way? Or why did you not do this? So every time I see my daughter in law, do something which I don't like, those words come to my mind. And I just keep quiet. And I'm telling you, it's not easy. Because we are really old school, we don't use
paper towels, like the present generation uses. We were using the nappies, we never used so many of these, I keep thinking about the environment when I see all the diaper bags every time. But then I remember his words, and I just keep quiet. So this is what I wanted to share with you. Jackie Lau Hayden, thank you for sharing something so personal with us because it is something that we all need to learn about and remind ourselves of that really the Prophet sallallahu Sallam he never set to unnecessarily low on who? Why did you do this? Or why did you not do that unnecessarily low on who was 10 years old when he came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and Anessa de la noir and
who was an orphan. All right. And when he was little, and his mother embraced Islam, his father was not Muslim. So he never really had a male figure in his family to teach him the right way of doing things. And you can imagine, you can only imagine a child from that background, how many times he would be making mistakes, but each time the Prophet saw a lot of sin and was patient. In fact, we learned in Hadith that when asked what the Lord who would do something wrong, and the wives of the Prophet salallahu Salam, you know, sometimes they would get a little agitated, it's normal. And he would tell them, Don't say anything to him, because if it was written for him, he would have done
it. In other words, it's not to this was part of decree so don't criticize this little child. Don't say anything to him, be patient and tolerant. And this is the best way of doing this law with love. Because many things you learn with time, isn't it? I mean, for example, like Auntie said, there's, you know, old school not using paper towels, okay. Eventually, maybe person realizes that yeah, the better way is not using paper towels and throwing them all the time but rather using a terry cloth or something like that, and washing that and reusing that is much more economical and beneficial for the environment, and so on and so forth. People learn with time, just as you learned with time, let
them learn also let them grow also. So don't be hasty. Because otherwise, these love
The beautiful relationships will not be a source of comfort and peace, they will be a constant source of pain and anguish for a person. So in his house, a person will not feel secure and safe. He will feel like everybody's going to attack him, nobody's going to feel safe. And this is a problem that we've created in our lives. No one feels safe with anybody. We're living isolated lives. We don't have friends. We don't enjoy intimacy with the closest people in our lives. We don't because we have isolated ourselves by attacking others and constantly being attacked. So be forgiving, Repel evil with good and enjoy life.
Did you want to say something? Yes.
I think I also got a message which you mentioned, which was an unthinking of anti over there who's talking about the environmental initiative that touches me as well. But you also mentioned how there's a requirement to have patience, and for the love of that person, also educate them in a kind way. And I think the environment as we are Muslims, we are vice regents on this earth. And it's very important, we do appreciate the environment. But I think there's I believe there's a hadith and I don't know it off my head, the need to maintain the environment and not waste and to be, but I guess we can educate somebody, and maybe not necessarily keep quiet. But perhaps Yeah, but no, there is a
time of teaching someone, there is a time of telling them. And certain relationships are very sensitive, you might not be the right person to tell them somebody else good, right? Like the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he did advise the companions that even if there is a river, right that you're doing will do. Don't use more than you need. Right? Use only as much water as you need don't waste. But there is a time and place of saying something. And it also depends on the person. So if you find someone wasting something a lot, and you happen to be in a relationship, which is always, you know, very sensitive, don't say, have somebody else, advise them, indirectly. Advise them,
right?
Use tact.
Adopt a lot of things that I did, like I have a habit in the house that if nobody is using a particular room, I go and turn off the lights and it bothers my family that Oh, Mom, I'm just going to go back. Why did you turn off the light? I said, No. When you're not in the room, Donna and I see my daughter know, over these years, she's adopted a lot of things just by watching me Alhamdulillah it's, it's something normal, you know, again, it's not necessarily about what is right and what is wrong. It's just habits. Right? It's not always like that this is right. And this is wrong. In some situations it is but in every situation it's not like that. So it's only normal for people to take
time to learn and adjust. So give them the time they need. Allow them that time.
Okay, so panicle long will be humbled I shall do hola Illa illa Anta estafa to be like a cinema aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.