Al-Qasas 68-88 Review 79-83
Taimiyyah Zubair – Taleem al-Quran 2010 – Juz 20 – L203E
AI: Summary ©
The speakers discuss the importance of dressing up at wedding events to satisfy guests and avoid embarrassment. They stress the need for moderation and avoiding embarrassment, and provide examples of dressing up during weddings. The speakers emphasize the importance of not getting dressed up at all and not giving up on one's statement.
AI: Summary ©
Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim lesson number 203 pseudo classes. We will begin from Isaiah number 84.
But before that, just a few things about we learned yesterday about the story of cartoon What did you think? Did you have any afterthoughts after the class, any reflections,
many opinions with regards to the time of cartoon Some say that he was in Egypt, he was appointed by the Federation. And others say that he was after Messiah listen across the sea. And he was actually one of those people who went to the mountain along with him. He was one of the 70 men who went along with musasa. And that is when he learned the Torah as well. So if we take the first opinion, which is that he was in Egypt,
so if you think about it, he was swallowed in by the earth over there. And there were many people present at that time, besides the Bani Israel as well. But they did not take a lesson from his example of his pride of his heartiness of his arrogance.
When you compare yourself to others, there is two outputs and you're gonna feel superior, and there comes your pride, your arrogance, could be your ego is going to be boosted. Or you're going to be feeling inferior and gratitude toward Allah. So my advice to you and to all of you, and especially for me as well, is when you find yourself in the mode of comparisons, shut it off right there. Exactly. Because unfortunately, even little children, they're treated in this way, all the time. They're being compared to others, their physical appearance, their beauty, the color of their skin, with their cousins with their friends with their neighbors. And as a result, either the children,
they grew up with this feeling of inferiority complex that I am not as good, I am not as beautiful, I'm not as smart. Or they grew up with a lot of arrogance with the sense of superiority that I am better, I am the best, there's nothing wrong in me.
And both of these states are extremely wrong.
No person should feel like having inferiority complex or having the sense of superiority, because it leads to arrogance, and it leads to ingratitude.
Somebody else?
I just realized this beautiful, I add that it's a proof. Because sometimes you see some people they look up to themselves, and they say, it's out of my hard work that I reached this top and all this happen, you think like and it's like, oh, maybe they're so blessed by Allah subhanho wa Taala. And yet, they're not really thinking a lot for what they've gathered. And it just shows to show that time will come that Allah will get back to them. I mean, this is a proof to me that when you see people like this, then know for sure that Allah will give them their Recompense. And then we should be very careful as well. That, you know, sometimes people praise us for our looks or our height or
something like that. And we say to them, thank you. And the fact is that we never made ourselves who made us, Allah subhanaw taala. So at that time, never feel proud of yourself that Oh, I'm so beautiful and I'm so like this and I'm so like that, no, think of it this way that this is the creation of Allah. So all praise to Allah subhanaw taala. And if a person thinks whatever I have is because of me, then this is pride, this is ingratitude. And if a person does not acknowledge the blessing of Allah, then look at how we recompensed Pharrell
Salaam Alaikum when we give our kids a treat or allowance, we should teach them gift from that side. So they don't act arrogant when they grow up. Exactly the the advice that was given to qarun that were bitterly FEMA attack Allahu donalda Hera, when attention asleep aka Mina dunya
they both things are important and this should be ingrained from the childhood from the very beginning that children should be taught to share, to give sadaqa as well. And we think our children what do they know? You know, they only have $5 they only have $10 but what do they know about South Africa but believe me, little children even they can understand the concept of South Africa the concept of sharing provided that there dot
and if it started from the very beginning, then only then it will increase as time goes by.
Anything else?
The wealth and the power and good luck so I don't have it was something given to him by Allah. Right. And sometimes we might be asking for other stuff, but a lot might not give it to us because if we did have it, we might have done COVID Allah subhanaw taala and so we have to when we make that first of all, just to give it to us see that this is good for me because if I had it maybe I will become like someone like I don't. Exactly.
And one more thing that I was thinking about, was that how qarun he came out before the people in his Xena the hora de la comida zenity that he came up before people are
dressed up, decked up, without any purpose, without any reason. And sometimes it's amazing that at the very smallest of occasions, even it's not a wedding. It's not your relative's wedding. But the way people are dressed up is as though it's their wedding. It's as though they are the brides it as though it's their wedding day.
And these days, unfortunately, there's absolutely no limit to getting dressed up.
It's amazing. I'm surprised sometimes to what extent people go to in dressing up at going to weddings, what's the objective? What's the purpose?
I'm sure many of these ladies don't do the same thing for their husbands. They don't do it in their homes. But when they have to go to a wedding, every little part of their body has to be decked up it has to be dressed up from their toes to their fingers to their eyelids do their hair, every single part. What's the purpose? What's the objective? And many times when people go to places like this, and they're dressed up, people who are not as dressed up, they're being condemned.
That What's wrong with you? Why are you not dressed up this way, they're made to feel bad. And it's almost embarrassing. Sometimes the kind of clothes that people wear, you feel embarrassed to wear something like that out in public, you won't wear that in front of your husband. And there are people who are dressing up just like that before others Why? Just to show that I have these clothes as well. And I can dress up this way as well. And I can dress up that way as well. What's the objective?
So we have to be very, very careful. You see, moderation is something that brings beauty. If we go to an extreme of not getting dressed up at all, and we go to the other extreme of getting overly dressed up, this is going to extremes. We learned that Xena is essential. I mean, Xena is a part of a woman. It's something that completes a woman. But at the same time, we should not go to extremes that hours and hours are being spent on getting dressed up 1000s of dollars, hundreds of dollars are being spent on clothes, on shoes, on versus on makeup, so on and so forth without any limit. And it's amazing how, you know sometimes when you go to buy clothes, how expensive they can be, and how
much money people spend on just these clothes, that they have to wear in weddings. And these clothes even they're not repeated, hardly ever repeated. I almost feel guilty buying expensive clothes, I'd rather buy some books, I'd rather sponsors didn't have knowledge. I'd rather spend the same money on someone who is poor, on someone who needs food for their children, someone who needs to provide education for their children. And here we are. closets full of these clothes are full of Xena and choose and so on and so forth. And there's absolutely no limit, no limit to that.
So we have to be very careful. I'm not saying leave all of this. I'm saying be moderate. Because it's very sad when I say students of knowledge students of Quran, who have studied about moderation, still there going to such extremes and getting dressed up before others. There's no harm in getting dressed up. But we should be moderate. The main thing is moderation.
And everything has to be perfectly imagine I don't know how much time people spend doing their makeup. And I mean, it's not your sister's wedding.
It's not your brother's wedding. Really.
I was gonna say there's some clothes that you buy because it's pricing comes with arrogance. So when you put it on automatically or arrogant, yes. Many times it happens at the moment you put those clothes on and you put that makeup on, you put that jewelry on, you look at yourself in the mirror, and you're like, I think I look really good.
And there comes pride and arrogance and a person begins comparing themselves to others that yes, my outfit is the best my outfit is the latest one and look at them, they're still wearing that same design, which is so ancient.
And we should also be careful that we don't talk to others like you know, being students knowledge, you didn't get your strip, what are you doing getting put on any makeup? Why don't you take off your hijab. Just be careful about those things too.
So that is my his point about that and having that feeling of arrogance when you do put on certain clothes. And I was just thinking that for when people who like wearing brand items, brand names. There's many knockoffs out there that are almost identical. But still, they have to spend the extra money to get the real thing. Why? Because when you wear it, you know in your heart, this is the real thing. And and that just adds
that you just have to feel good that I'm wearing the most expensive thing and I'm wearing something that's so pricey. It's a brand name. And this is what brings pride in the heart of a person that it's become more of a competition between people. That friend of mine, she wore those clothes. So now that I have to go to her place, I better wear, you know the latest design as well. I should also wear that it's more of a competition. That look they have these clothes. I still don't have them. I have to go get them. Let me tell my friend in Pakistan in India, she'll send all those
For me,
we need to be more mindful of others. You know, like, if you're dressed up, and you're going to say, back home, you know, a place where, you know, obviously people don't, you know, don't have those type of clothes in what night, you shouldn't make them feel bad. You know, you can make people feel bad just by the way you're dressed, because it's just them looking at you. And then that leads to envy. And you know, very true it leads to envy leads to bad feelings, it leads to grudges, people's expectations have become higher our view that Oh, they have so many clothes, that should bring us something as well.
Sometimes it's one thing to wear them to have it on you, it's another thing to tell them the price of what you're wearing. And all that stuff is ridiculous. This bag is so so much and these shoes are so much. This is just a very common way to and all the women. And sadly, you know, sometimes when you go to such weddings, and you're sitting amongst people, all people can talk about his hair and makeup and jewelry and clothes and shoes. And how utterly Can you talk about these things, how much you get sick of it,
you want to move on to something that's more beneficial. So the thing is that if our concern in life is all about getting dressed up, then this is what our time will go in. This is what our conversations will revolve around. And this is what we will be looking out for. And if we have a higher purpose in life, then this becomes a side thing in life. This is not something that is given the utmost priority. It's a side thing, and only then a person can remain in moderation we see that the prophets on a lot of his wives, they would definitely get dressed up. But it was always in moderation. Always.
Like most people don't have enough food to eat. But when you see the picture like when you see the video Subhana Allah like, Is this real? Like cuz we don't even have the same clothes even though we have money, everything. So when the people would not give him advice the Enola Musudan like this kind of idea. It kind of even corrupted people mentality. They don't really think about going to school, they don't think about thinking knowledge, there is only thinking about like, oh, which clothes to wear, how to do my hair there Mashallah. Like when it comes to if you need advice you go to them.
sound like? And I don't understand why people wear their own wedding dress to other people's wedding. First of all, why did you get such an expensive estimated that you can only work for one day and never wear it again, it doesn't make sense.
And it's not just with clothes, but also the jewelry that sometimes at the time of weddings, girls will go on buying jewelry, which they can only wear on their wedding day. And after that they can ever put it on. And for the rest of their life. Either. They're just giving Zakat on it, or they end up selling it to buy something else instead. What's the point of getting something like that?
Just to praise just to satisfy people?
Honestly, wearing such clothes, wearing such makeup wearing such jewelry, what is the purpose?
What's the purpose,
just to satisfy others, just to gain their approval, just to tell them that we also know. We're also aware of the current fashion and everything. What's the objective, when the girl is getting married, the point is that she should be looking beautiful for her husband. And by the time she gets to her husband, she's so exhausted, there that the button is off and the heavy clothes are off and the jewelry, the first thing that comes up, it's very difficult to wear all that heavy stuff. And by the time the wife reaches her husband that said all the makeup is off, she's exhausted by them. The main goal of our weddings of dressing up is just to satisfy other people. That's it. And this is
incorrect. Because this is what qarun did. He went out before people to show his demeanor, to show to them that look, I have this much.
And that's exactly what people do today. And either their own weddings or the weddings of other people.
Sorry, I was just thinking if we have full convention here after and we realize, okay, I'm a servant of Allah subhanaw taala. I don't think we waste our time compared to other people and trying to get the expensive outfits. And now we see more Sally's and I'm like how humble he was?
Yes, very true. Unfortunately, people have also this habit that only when guests are coming then they will set up their house and they will put all the expensive things out why to display their Xena.
They will never use those dishes. They will never use those dances. But when people are coming over then they will take out those expensive glasses expensive dishes, expensive cutlery. I mean yes, it's a part of honoring the guests that you use the best that you have. But this is something very strange that you have something exclusively for the guests that's expensive. You never use it. You never let anybody touch it and only when they come then you put it out. Taking pictures of your clothes of your possessions and putting them up on the internet.
It can really cause corruption because when you're flossing all of these things you have people are obviously going to want to this is going to become other people's goal to get that. So then young people will try to get fast money and do illegal or haram stuff or like not just to get that money and their whole life is destroyed because of your very true. And what I find very amazing is that sometimes you go to weddings, and people are taking pictures of themselves and their sisters and their cousins and their friends at the wedding. And if you have to take pictures, I would say take a picture with the bride or take a picture with the horse or something. But you're taking pictures of
yourself just because you're dressed up and you're looking very nice.
Yesterday, a friend was telling me how initially in her marriage that she was disappointed because she expected her husband to be this romantic type of person. And you see on Facebook that people post up a lot of pictures with regards to Oh, I got this on my anniversary, posting up pictures of flowers and this present all these lavish gifts, and then it builds expectations for other people and otherwise that Oh, what did he do?
That this is also part of showing off your Xena, right? bahala Jara comi Fie Xena to you, whether it's live, or it's online, or it's some form of pictures, or whatnot, also came with his entourage. And sometimes we say that a wedding, the bride is gonna come like the 15 bridesmaids, like all decked up with the same stuff. And then she's gonna like, you know, the whole family says that, oh, we paid for all of them down to their jewelry. It's a power line. So
yeah.
I was thinking that just watch who you're imitating when you're dressing up, because you're not only imitating their clothes, automatically, you also adopt their personality. When people are getting their dresses made? What kind of magazines do they look at? And what do they refer to take inspiration with regards to design and color and color combination? and so on and so forth? What are we looking at those people who we're looking at, they're not just embarking their fashion skills, but at the same time, they're also importing a particular culture, which you will adopt, even unintentionally.
Our own he walked in front of the people with his you know, to establish this.
Exactly. And many times, when people dress up and go to weddings, this is just to establish their superiority that I also know how to dress up. And I also have these clothes and yes, I went back home recently, and I got all these clothes and so on and so forth. Anyway, this is a conversation that's very long, but mainly the point that I want to get across to all of you is that dressing up is not a bad thing is a good thing. However, it should be in moderation. It should be without pride. It should be within limits, and it should be done appropriate.
Let's listen to the recitation.
dounia
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Yeah Oh no, no
No