Taimiyyah Zubair – Fahm Al-Quran – 05B An Nisa 32 42

			And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others, because of law has not
created all people equal, he has not made us all the same. No, he has given preference to each
person in one way or the other, what one person has been given, the other has not been given. A
woman can give birth, can a man give birth? Can he bear children? No, he cannot. So, should he be
striving to do what women can do? No, it would be foolishness. Likewise, we see that men have been
given certain roles to play certain strengths, certain abilities, and that is something that women
don't need to run after. And this is not just something between men and women, but overall, in
		

			general, each person has his strengths, he has his weaknesses, what is it that we need to focus on
the strengths that Allah has equipped us with, and we should not wish for that which Allah has given
to other people, for men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they
have earned. How fair is our religion? There's no bias just because of gender. No, each person will
get what they have striven for. A man will get what he strives for, and a woman will get what she
strives for, and ask Allah of his bounty, meaning when you see something with the other that you
want, then instead of being envious, what is it that you should do each time along my igneous lucam
		

			and public? Oh Allah, I asked you of your bounty? I asked you have your favorites. So give me also
just as a career lesson, when you saw Maria with the fruit, what did he do? Did he become jealous
over here? Did he feel weak in his heart and bad in his heart? No, immediately right there. And then
he made Dora Oh Allah, give me a righteous child, give me a good child, and Allah accepted his law.
Indeed, Allah is Ever of all things knowing he knows the differences between men and women. And he
has created both of them differently.
		

			Now, the following is or the theme of these verses generally about men and women, marriage. So this
is why it is necessary that we also reflect on this matter, that how Allah has created men
differently and women differently. Why not because one is better than the other, but so that both
may complement each other. Both have been created differently with different strengths and different
abilities. Why not so that they compete with one another and try to imitate one another, but that
both of them do their best and bring the best in society. Remember that a woman's perfection is not
in becoming like a man, her perfection, her excellence, her virtue is in what her connection with
		

			her Lord, because many of us have forgotten this, that if I want to be the best, if I want to go
further in life than I have to compete with men, I have to do what they have done. If my brother is
doing this, I have to do it, too. If my husband is doing this, I have to do it, too. If he travels
for a weekend, you know what, let me also do the same thing, leave my family, go travel for a
weekend and come back. No, each person has a different role to play. Each person has different
responsibilities. Remember, what matters most is our position near a loss product.
		

			Because there could be a man and woman who are married, but because of what they do. One, one
person, her status, his status could be greater in the sight of a lot compared to the other, not
because of their gender, but because of what they have done. Take the example of ESEA and feel our
own ESEA who will she be? She will be amongst the leaders of the women in gender. Why? Because of
her Eamonn take her husband for her own, who will he be a leader of the people in hellfire. Why?
Because of his cowfish so it's not about that in a marriage, a man will always always be better in
every respect. No, he has been given certain rights, certain obligations, a certain status, but that
		

			is just to make the marriage work. That is just to be to maintain the family to look after the
family to do to run the family in the most effective way.
		

			But a woman her perfection her excellence hervor to isn't her servitude to her Lord. So remember in
the law can be cliche in our Lima Indeed Allah is of all things knowing when he couldn't live john
Mr. Lee, and for all we have made heirs to what is left by parents and relatives, meaning for each
person who dies he leaves behind heirs and who are those errors those errors whom Allah has
appointed? Why? Why is it that Allah has decided this law? Who should be the heir? What should he
get? How much should he get? Why? So that wealth may be divided in society correctly because if this
was left to us,
		

			Then what would we do, we would give all of our wealth to just one individual. And this would create
a lot of disharmony, a lot of difficulties in the society. So when Allah has taken this matter in
his hand, that the inheritance must be divided according to a specific way to specific airs. This is
to ensure that wealth is distributed correctly in the society, and to those whom you're all have
bound to you give them their share. Indeed, Allah is Ever over all things a witness at leisure
local, well, Mona Island, Nisa, men are in charge of women, they are the qalam of the women. What
does it mean by this, that men are in charge of women, Alam is a maintainer, someone who is made
		

			responsible, who has been given the authority authority for what purpose, so that he may manage, he
may look after the affairs of those who are under him, he may look after the welfare, the overall
well being the needs of those who are under him. So in a marriage, who is it that has been given
this authority? Who is it that has been given this responsibility, it is the man because two people
cannot be in charge. If two people are in charge, if both have equal authority, then what will
happen? Both will constantly be at odds against each other. We see this that even in an
organization, even in a group of five people, 10 people, what is necessary one main leader, one
		

			person who has the right to say, okay, we're going to do this, or Okay, we're not going to do this
one person whose word will be accepted as final. Because when there's still three people who have
equal authority over a matter that what happens, things get lost, one person thinks the other will
do it. And then what happens the other things, the first will do it, or one things, she should do
it, she thinks, no, he should be doing it back and forth, back and forth. And like this, the family
will be neglected, like this, the children will be neglected the affairs of the family, they will
not be taken care of properly. So Allah in His mercy, what has he done? He has decided that in a
		

			marriage, always, always the term will be Who? The husband, even if he's not working? Yes. Even if
he's not working, even if he's bringing less money compared to his wife? Yes. Even if he's less
educated, yes. Why? Because each marriage is different. And if this decision is left to us, that in
a marriage, the to decide who the column is going to be, they're never going to be able to decide
who the column should be. Isn't that so? That when it is left to people, okay, you choose a leader,
it's very difficult for them to come up with one leader. And even when the leader is chosen, then
what happens the rest of the people say, Oh, this was unfair. Like today, people say that Abu Bakar
		

			on the lower end, who when he was chosen as the halifa. This was a conspiracy that people had
against Lido de la hora. That already although arnoux was busy with the burial of Rasulullah
sallallahu sallam, and the Sahaba they went, and they conspired amongst themselves because they
wanted to deprive a little below I knew of khilafah so they just appointed Abubakar at the lower
end, who was Khalifa the point that I'm making here is that if Allah left this matter to us, you
decide that in a marriage, who the column should be, what would happen? Firstly, we would never come
to a decision. And secondly, even if we did come to a decision, people would never be happy. So just
		

			as when it comes to the law of inheritance, likewise, in a family who should be in charge, Allah has
taken this matter in his hand, he has decided that the man will be a worm. And there's a reason
behind that. What is the reason Bhima futbol Allahu Akbar Allahu Allah Allah. Why? Because Allah has
given one preference over the other, meaning Allah has given men something that the women have not
been given. And what is that thing?
		

			It is you could say it is strength, but it is first and foremost Eagle in a positive way, not in a
negative way. Men have Eagle, I'm not saying this in a bad way not arrogance and pride, but they
have this natural desire to want to feel important. And this is something that is not just something
that is observed, but it is something that is proven by research also, that when it comes to men,
what they want in a relationship is that they should be appreciated, they should be looked up to
they should be respected. So when they have been given this, it is in their fifth law, you know,
like people who are born leaders, if you give them authority, if you give them some leadership, some
		

			decision power, even if it's very little, what will happen. They'll be very happy. Think about a
classroom 20 children and one child doesn't listen at all and what have you.
		

			The teacher says to the child, okay, you have to take this sheet to the principal's office or you
have to do this task today. And what happens all of a sudden that child is behaving so well. Why?
Because he was given a task he was made to feel important. And the same child, if that importance is
not given, what is he going to do in the classroom, create chaos, he is going to cause havoc, right?
So men have been given this natural quality in them. And I say quality because it is a quality, it's
not something negative. Because for a leader, it is very necessary that they feel like a leader,
they want to be a leader. So the men have been given this preference over women in this respect. And
		

			this is why they must be the Cologne. And secondly, the other reason why they must be the column is
because of what they spared from their wealth. Because from the time of marriage onwards, what is
the man doing spending, spending spending, at the time of marriage, he's given the woman
		

			and then afterwards constantly, he's spending on her the financial obligation has been placed on the
shoulders of the men. So this is why the man is who the
		

			Allah says forcefully how to call Anita don't have a lot to lillebaby Bhima happy llama. So
righteous women, who are they, they are devoutly obedient, devoutly obedient to who, to their
husbands to their Ameen. Why? Because they accept the need the leader that Allah has appointed over
them. So whatever the leader says to them, they do it as long as it is something my roof, it is
something that is acceptable in the religion, meaning where a husband will tell the wife to do
something that is contrary to the law of Allah, then does a woman have to obey Him? No, she should
not obey Him. But when it comes to Morrow, when it comes to acceptable matters, then what should a
		

			woman do, she should be called Anita. Now, this is the description of a righteous woman that Allah
is giving here. asylee had who are the first and foremost carnita obedience. And obedience means
showing respect, showing respect, accepting the authority, the superiority that Allah has given to
the husband. So those of us who are married, let's remember to do this, and those who are not
married yet, then keep this in mind that the first and foremost obligation on a woman is what that
she should be dutiful, obedient to her husband. And obedience must come with respect. Why? Because
if a person is obeying, but they're disrespecting with their attitude, with their eyes, their body
		

			language or their words, then that is not true obedience, that is not respect. And we see that a man
when he is respected by his wife, then what will happen, he will feel like he is in charge, when
he's made to feel in charge, then what will he do, he will take care of his wife, even more, he will
please her, and she will please Him, and He will please her, and she will please Him. It's both
sided. And we see that it goes into such a beautiful cycle, the wife respecting the husband, the
husband taking care of the wife, but what we do is that we demand that the husbands should take care
of us, then we will respect them. But the fact is that the husband cannot take care of his wife,
		

			until unless she will show some level of respect to him. Because what happens is that when the man
is disrespected in the house, he's always looked down on, he's treated like a child, he's treated
like a servant. He's yelled at, he's rebuked, he's insulted before the family members, he's insulted
before the children even then what happens when he does not find peace and comfort in his house,
then he avoids being with his family, he would rather be somewhere else, or he will hide himself
were in the basement, or he will block off everything how, by staring at the television, or by
staring at his computer, or by being in his phone all the time. And then a woman wonders what is
		

			wrong with him. So she becomes angry with him and the man distances from her and she distances
herself away from him. So we see that the two grow far apart from each other. What will bring a
husband and wife together is what mutual respect for each other. If the other doesn't respect, let
us begin respecting our husbands because remember, that the respect that we get from other people is
always in our hand. It is always in our control. Why? Because the way we deal with others, that is
exactly how they will deal with us. If we treat others respectfully, they will also treat us
respectfully, even children. When they're dealt with respectfully. They will also show respect. So
		

			for Sally herto carnita
		

			They are obedient and have a lot of little baby boomer heavy on law. They are happy lots, they are
guarding in the husband's absence what Allah would have them guard. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam said, the best of women is she who pleases you, when you look at her, obeys you when you
order her, and guards in your absence, what is due to you of her and your wealth. So this is how we
have to become pleasing to the husband that when he sees that he becomes happy, when he instructs
then without arguments without ifs and buts take it and do it. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam said,
Allah does not even look at the woman who does not think her husband. While she cannot be free of
		

			need of him. She cannot be free of need of him. Anytime you're feeling angry with your husband, just
look around your house. And check where did I get this from? This clock that's hanging on my wall?
Where did this come from? Yeah, okay, I bought it but with whose money? Okay, this kitchen, this
house? Where did this come from? I got it myself. Could I have afforded it myself? Could this sofa,
this furniture? Think all the things that we have in the house, even if there are some things that
we brought when we got married, or we got with our own money, still, who had to put the nail in the
wall so that you could hang the clock? Who did that for you? Your husband. So the Prophet sallallahu
		

			Sallam said the woman who does not thank her husband, Allah does not even look at her. While she
cannot be free of need of him. A smart rodilla Warren has said that the prophets of Allah Islam
passed by me while I was amongst some of my girlfriend's, so she was sitting with some of her
friends, girls, and what happened the profits of a lot of stuff as he passed by he greeted us. And
he said, beware of ingratitude of those who are with blessings. She said, yada sutala what is meant
by the gratitude of those people who are in blessings, he said, perhaps one of you stays with her
parents, unmarried single for a long time. And then Allah gives her a husband, through whom she even
		

			gets children. And then one day she gets angry with him, and becomes very ungrateful, saying that I
have never seen anything good in you ever. She becomes so ungrateful, so angry that she says I've
never seen anything good in you, really, is that the reason why he has a good job is that the reason
why he takes care of you, he looks after the children, he brings money home he spends on the family
so well.
		

			The number one thing that we need to do after obedience is gratitude. show gratitude to the husband,
for the gifts that he brings home for the money that he brings home. Just think about how difficult
it must be for a man that so many hours he spends working, working, working in an office, or in a
building, or at a place that is so uncomfortable. He'd rather be sleeping at home. Sometimes he's
working double jobs, why so that he can bring enough money home to look after who you are. So you
can eat out so you can travel so you can wear nice clothes, so that you can spend freely. So that
husband deserves some level of gratitude. Now, remember that this gratitude only comes when we
		

			appreciate when we are grateful. Because what happens is that we keep noticing the negative things.
Or look he left the dishes on the table again. Oh, look, he didn't fill the gas in my car again. Oh,
look, he's left his dirty laundry again on the floor. He doesn't care about the cleanliness in the
house. No, overlook these things overlooked and stop treating the husband as if he was your son. No,
he's not a baby that transferred from your mother in law to you. He's a man he's a husband, so treat
him like a man. But those wives from whom you fear arrogance, first advise them then if they
persist, forsake them in bed, and finally, likely strike them why in order to discipline them, but
		

			if they obey you seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is Ever exalted and grand, Sofia him
because he is greater than you, he has more authority than you, he is going to question you. So what
we learned from this ayah is about ourselves that we have to show respect and gratitude to our
husbands. Now, the last part of the ayah many women have a problem with this. The fact is that why
should we let a marriage go this way in the first place? Say inshallah, I will never show the shoes
to my husband such disobedience to my husband, that he becomes angry with me. No, inshallah, I will
be obedient, I will be grateful. So that even at the times when he gets annoyed with me, he will
		

			overlook why, because I have been grateful to him. I have always listened to him. And if you fear
dissension between the two, meaning the man and the woman are growing apart from each other, despite
being married,
		

			Because they have so many differences, so many arguments than what should be done, then send an
arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family, meeting someone else now to do the
discussion, because when two people are angry, they don't even want to look at each other. If they
both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, a lot is ever knowing and
acquainted with all things. What would allow hola to Chico be shy? Remember your main goal in life,
your main purpose in life? And what is that, that you worship Allah and associate nothing with him
and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor
		

			farther away, the companion at your side? Look at the companion on your side, the person sitting
next to you, who are they your neighbor? What does Allah say do with them? So what kind of person
can we do with the person sitting next to us?
		

			The neighbor farther away the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands
possess. These are all Hokuto, about the rights of the creation, the rights of the servants of
Allah, do good to all, even when someone is not good, still be good to them? Because that is, indeed
a law does not like those who are self deluding and boastful, meaning people who think highly of
themselves, who think that they're the best. And as a result, they belittle others, they don't even
look at the person sitting next to them. Think about it. If we don't even acknowledge the person
sitting next to us, then what does it mean that we haven't even noticed and why? because we're so
		

			lost in ourselves. So Allah does not like people who are mortal and for hurrah. And such people are
not even liked by who other people. Remember, the one who is disliked by Allah, he can never be
liked by people either. The one who is disliked by Allah, then people can also not like him, who are
such people who are proud, boastful self deluding those who are stingy and enjoying upon other
people's stinginess, they would hold what they have. And they also tell others to be stingy, they
don't spend themselves and they discourage others from spending in the way of Allah, and they
conceal what Allah has given them of his bounty. They don't let anyone find out about the good that
		

			they have, why out of fear that others might ask, and we have prepared for the disbelievers a
humiliating punishment, and also those who spend of their wealth to be seen by the people. Meaning
when it comes to spending in a laws way, what is their attitude, they're stingy. And when it comes
to spending on a needy person, again, they're stingy, they hide what they have. They don't show
their food, they don't show their money. They don't show what's in their house. Why out of fear that
somebody might ask they hide it, hide it, keep it a secret. And when there is a chance to show off,
then they spend generously.
		

			Meaning when there is a chance to show to the people that Yeah, I've got a lot of money, then yes,
there will be a lot of expenditure. Like for example, a wedding when it comes to spending on a good
cause in a charitable cause, giving to those who are truly in need the No I don't have enough, you
know, things are so tough. Things are so expensive. The rent is so much the mortgage is so high, the
bills are so much the children's schooling, everything is so much. But then all of a sudden when
there is a marriage when there is a wedding, or when there's a birthday party or when there has to
be a vacation. Then what happens 1000s and 1000s of dollars are dished out. Why? Because now one is
		

			establishing his authority before others that look I have so much money. Think about the kind of
money we spend on our clothes as women especially men don't spend that much money. women spend more
money on their clothes. Why? What's the objective here there's nothing wrong in wearing nice
clothes. But what is the competition here? That look even I am wearing nice clothes and see how
expensive these clothes are. And you are seeing me in these clothes for the first time and you will
never see me in these clothes again. Because it's an embarrassment to wear the same party clothes
again to a different party. Why? Because people will say that Oh, you're wearing these clothes
		

			again. You wearing these clothes again. What does it show that we spend more on what on showing off
on impressing other people impressing their eyes we're more concerned about our image before people
think about it. If a dress we can purchase for $100 150 200 303 100 is nothing for a nice dress.
Nothing for a nice dress these days. so easily. We spend money on clothes, on bags on shoes. Why?
Because people are going to see
		

			Same amount of money do we spend on a person who's hungry? Who needs to buy groceries? The same
amount of money? Do we ever think about spending for a mustard fry? Do we think about that? No. Why?
Because we say at that time, I don't have enough if I give in the way of Allah, then I will not have
much left. But when it comes to spending on our weddings, in our clothes, then we have so much
money. Allah says those people who spend up their wealth only to be seen by who by people, and they
believe not in Allah, nor in the last day, because if they truly believed in Allah and the Last Day,
then that money would be going in were investing in the home of the Hereafter, not showing off over
		

			here. And he to whom shavon is a companion than evil is he as a companion? Now, remember that this
is schilke hafi. What is should coffee hidden chick, when a person is spending to be praised by
people to be seen by people? This is shit coffee when a person gives he gives more Why? Because
people are watching. Likewise, when a person is performing or louder, he performs more about why
because people are watching. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, He who lets the people hear of his
good deeds intentionally, to win their praise than Allah will let the people know of his real
intention when on the Day of Judgment, and what harm would come upon them if they believed in Allah
		

			and the Last Day and spend out of what Allah provided for them sincerely for his sake? What would
they lose? They would not lose anything they were only gained, and Allah is Ever about them knowing.
So is it not sufficient that Allah is watching what we give to him? In the law hilarya Lima with
Allah da, Indeed, Allah does not do injustice, even as much as an atom's with, so merciful, so kind
is our Lord, that He gives for how much much more that if there is a good deed, he multiplies it and
gives from himself a great reward. If a person gives even a little bit of charity, but with
sincerity, then Allah is so generous, that he multiplies the reward. So why should we hesitate in
		

			giving more in his cause? Why not? Think about it, when we spend on the things of this world,
instantly what happens, the moment they fall in our hands, the value of those things, instantly
reduces, you buy a computer, it's in a box, the moment you open the box, and you take the computer
out what has happened, the value has reduced, it has reduced, you buy a car, brand new car, you just
drive it out of the dealership instantly $10,000 $5,000 instantly marked down. If you drive it out
of the dealership, and you take it to another to sell it what will happen, you can never sell it for
the same amount. This world is such that the more you spend here, the more you lose.
		

			But if you give in the way of Allah even as
		

			even an atom's with something so small, then what will happen it will only grow it will only
increase it will only multiply. Now this does not mean that we don't take care about our worldly
needs. No, we take care of them. But at the same time, think about what we are preparing for our
life in the hereafter. Will you be let down who are Jonah alima and he will give from himself a
great reward. So why should we not give to him? What his most beloved to us, when he will multiply
the award many times for K for either genomen Coolio matambi shahidan so how would it be when we
will bring from every nation a witness and we bring you or Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
		

			against these people as a witness? Yo Maria de La Nina cafaro. We're also Rasulullah low to
somewhere behemoths out while I act una la hadiza that day, those who disbelieved and disobeyed the
messenger will wish they could be covered by the earth. embarrassment and regret. I wasted my money
and they will not conceal from Allah a single statement.