Suzy Ismail – #45 AlMujib
AI: Summary ©
The speaker discusses the importance of acknowledging and embracing requests from children in therapy. They explain that children need boundaries and that it's important for parents to listen and give the right answers to their children. The speaker also mentions the need for consistency in parenting and offers advice on how to make it happen.
AI: Summary ©
Salam Alikum, it's nice to see you again as we continue to bring the
divine into the daily by understanding how we can
incorporate the 99 names of Allah subhanaw taala. And the
characteristics of those names into our daily lives to improve
the relationship with our spouse and with our children. The name
that we're going to talk about today was M Wuji. Which means the
one who answers or the one who gives response. Now, oftentimes
when we are reciting the 99, names of Allah subhanaw taala, we think
of Allah subhanaw taala as Mooji but the however, the one who
answers are the one who hears us and responds in ways that we may
sometimes never even imagine. Now, how do we incorporate that sense
of being one who answers and having that type of a
relationship, knowing that when there is a request, it will be
answered in the best way possible with our own families? When we
think about our children, many times they are filled with
requests, you know, at a younger age, the requests may range
anywhere from the Monday and you know, Mom, can I have candy? Dad?
Can I have a skateboard to the absolute observed? You know, Mom,
can I have a lion as a pet? Dad? Can I have a million dollars, you
know, and the requests can often come in one after the other after
the other. As children grow up to be teenagers, and those preteen in
those tween years as well and young adults, we see that sense of
entitlement sometimes continuing and carrying over to consistent
asking, and an expectation of a response. That is a yes. But the
reality is that in each stage of therapy with our children, there
is a way that we need to approach those requests, and a way to
approach how we answer and how our agenda or how our response will
affect their therapy and their development. So for example, when
we have a teenager or a tween, who is asking consistently for an
iphone four, an iPad for an X Box for a PlayStation four devices of
technology that we seem to see, to be the most requested this often
nowadays, from the teenagers and middle school, high schoolers and
even into college. What happens when we consistently say yes, yes,
yes. And what happens when we consistently say, no, no, no, both
extremes are extremes that can send our children into the wrong
direction. We want to ensure that our responses to our children are
balanced, that there is a sense of moderation in everything that we
do. So when our child requests, something that is observed, or
that we know is not beneficial for them. This is where we have to
recognize and realize that there are boundaries and that our
children need those boundaries. And sometimes depending on the
stage of Serbia, the boundary may not be something they understand.
But it does have to be something that they accept. But within those
boundaries again, there needs to be that sense of moderation. So if
we're raising our children where everything they asked for is haram
haram haram, then we're going to raise them to fear the deen or to
feel that there are so many restrictions. But if we are
raising them with alternatives and possibilities, and an explanation
that there is so much more halal and haram in our deen, then we
grow a sense of love and respect within the hearts of our children
for the deen.
How do we know what to answer? How do we know how to respond? It
begins with listening. It begins with others Understanding Our
Children from a young age when they enter our cars after school
pickup. And they're bubbling with words and things that they want to
share. This is the point where we need to listen and answer
accordingly. And as they get older, and maybe they're a little
bit more reticent, they're not as easily willing to share, we need
to learn what to ask in order to get the right answers from them.
And as they continue to grow. This is where we shift the focus to
rather than us being the consistent disciplinarian, to
opening the door to allowing our children to make the right choices
with our guidance to make the choices that we have hopefully
taught them throughout the process. And in this way, we
become the parent who is able to give the correct answer to give
the correct response. And I pray that Allah subhanaw taala and
would you allows us to be apt to have that confidence in terms of
our parenting, to have that ability to have that knowledge and
to have that connection to him in sha Allah in our responses in
giving our own Asia back to our children as we raise them to be
hopefully the best version of themselves that they can be
because I come a little late and I look
forward to speaking to you again as we continue to bring the divine
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