Sulaimaan Ravat – The Benefits of Failure
AI: Summary ©
The fear of failure is a main fear of failure, and it is short sighted and not based on our experience or knowledge. The fear is a main block to success and most people avoid success because of fear of failure. The fear of failure is a self creation one, not a factor, and the fear is a way to build one's capacity to achieve success and reach one's potential. The importance of failure is discussed, including rethinking mistakes and embracing failure, and it is a way to build one's capacity to achieve success and reach one's potential.
AI: Summary ©
Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah he'll Allah Allah Allah. Allah the
Halacha for Sawa well Livia Cadabra for Heather. Shadow Anna
hula Illa Illa. Who the whole Esma will Hausner what was shadow Anna
Mohammed and Abu who also saw people in Makkah Milmore Allah.
Amma bad bIllahi min ash shaytani R rajim Bismillah Al Rahman Al
Rahim Alif Lam Meem a hassy been a youth Roku a yaku min men, for
whom layer you afternoon, what call at ILM? Why sir and Takara,
who che a wahoo Wahoo lecom Sadhak Allah who allow them honorable
scholars, respected brothers, mothers listeners,
it is impossible to live without failing at something.
It is impossible to live without failing at something. Unless you
live so cautiously, that you go nowhere, and you fail by default.
Failure is part of being human failure is something that everyone
goes through. But if you can understand failure, and if you can
learn how to respond to failure, and if you can understand the
benefits of failure, yes, the benefits of failure. That's my
topic today. So if you can understand failure, you know,
learn how to respond to failure, and develop an understanding on
the benefits of failure, then you can fail your way to amazing
things. Haven't misspoken? You can fail your way to amazing things.
There are many of us who are being held back because of a fear of
failure.
So let's let that be the first part of our discussion this
afternoon. Why do we fear failure? They actually have a medical term
for it.
It's called a tiki phobia.
I'm not joking, a tiki phobia at YC ah I phobia. It's known as the
fear of failure. There are many reasons why we fear failure, but
Central is the ego.
We are afraid to fail because of the hurt that the failure will
cause to our egos.
We look to our future. And then we envisage the emotional pain that
we will suffer if we fail in what we are trying to do.
Sometimes we have a social standing a social status, and we
are worried that people will laugh at us. What will people say? That
is what is at the center of the fear of failure. You see, the ego
added something interesting. They say the ego is a closet pessimist.
It shows a lot of bravado and confidence to the onlookers. But
in reality, it's a very scared and downbeat thing at heart. Ego is
very fragile. So the ego doesn't want you to try. It doesn't want
you to explore because of the fear of failure, the ego will avoid any
risk to avoid any chance of being hurt and embarrassed. Failure
presents a major potential threat to our egos. So the ego fears
failure. And the ego has a hold on the mind. And that's where our
entire being starts to fear failure.
We don't want to be embarrassed. That's the primary reason. So why
do we fear failure? Sometimes they are actual consequences,
reasonable consequences. Maybe you want to undertake a business
venture, you do your means test. You do your pros and cons and you
realize no way they could be a genuine problem yet. That's fine.
That's where you are doing proper sober, calculations, assessments
and you come to a conclusion. But most of the time, the fear of
failure is not related to that. Most of the time. The fear of
failure is short sighted. It's not based on our experience or our
knowledge. It's based on the fear that we won't get it right the
first time.
Many of us we fear failure because we fear we'll get it wrong the
first time. And what we fail to realize
hardly anyone in the history of humanity has achieved by getting
it right the first time.
They had to try try and try again before they eventually got it
right. It is for that reason that the experts tell us that the fear
of failure is the number one block to six
says most of the time, to such an extent that it has become a
societal norm. It's acceptable now, to just fear failure. I want
to share with you a quote, which I found to be very profound listen
to this. They say, Don't fear failure, don't fear failure, fear
being in the exact same position one year later.
Don't worry, as much about failure as you should worry about being in
the same position one year later, not making any progress, because
you are handicapped by the fear of failure.
The only way that we can overcome our fear of failure is by
developing a comprehensive understanding of what is failure.
So that would bring us to the question about the definition of
failure right? Now, you'll read all sorts of definitions. But
after reading, oh, many of them, I'll give it to you in a nutshell.
Technically, failure is when you have been unsuccessful at
something. But this is where the beauties
This is where the beauty is. If success is the opposite to
failure, then you have if you have failed the first time, you haven't
truly failed until you give up.
Because if you get it, right, the second or the third or the 100th
time, you still succeeded. So if the definition of failure is being
unsuccessful, it means that you never really failed until you have
given up. Some have given an alternative definition. They say
success is the state of living according to your values. And
failure is when you live in contradiction to your values. So
as Muslims, we have a set of values, you put in a tender, you
stuck by your values, no, some gooses on the side.
No greasing of the palms, you didn't get it. By somebody else's
definition. You didn't get the tender you failed by your
definition, you stuck by your values you succeeded.
Another definition of failure is one that I like they say failure
is part of a process. Failure is the first part on the road to
success. So if you look at it, there is no such thing as absolute
failure.
I recently read something which I found to be very interesting, one
lady who was divorced, said, I refuse to refer to my marriage
that didn't last as a failed marriage. I refuse to refer to my
marriage that didn't last as a failed marriage. Because that
marriage by Allah's design was meant to teach me certain things,
which will help me to succeed in the overall life story.
So I refuse to see it as a failed marriage. Let me ask you a
question that will help you unpack your understanding of failure.
They say, you must ask yourself the following question. Ask
yourself the following question.
What would you do differently in your life, if you knew for sure
that you wouldn't fail?
If you were to analyze your life, that 3040 50 years, you know,
whatever your age is, and say, What would I have done? If I knew
for certain I wouldn't fail. And if there are multiple answers,
that I would have done a lot of things if I knew for sure, I
wouldn't fail, that it means that you are suffering from a fear of
failure. There are many things that you shouldn't have done, you
should have done. But what held you back was your fear of failure.
Many times in life, if we study our lives, we put up something
that will really improve our lives. without really any concrete
or substantive or solid basis for it, we just putting it off, even
though we know it's going to benefit our lives, we putting it
off because of the fear of failure.
The fear of failure, like many other fears is a self created one.
It's because of our perceptions. Very rarely are those fears real,
very often they are perceived fears, I share with you another
coat, they say
everything you want is on the other side of fear.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear. You just need
to overcome your fear of failure to be able to achieve it.
One important element in understanding failure is to know
the difference between rational Fe irrational fear of failure and
irrational fear of failure. rational fear of failure is
something real, something that can actually happen. So if you don't
know how to swim,
and you have a fear of jumping off a ship in the middle of the ocean,
that's a real fear. You're going to drown.
There is something that is very likely to happen. And that's a
good kind of fear because it keeps you in it keeps you in check. It
helps you not to do foolish things. How
Have an irrational fear is a fear of something which is very
unlikely to happen, or a fear of something that is likely to
happen. But your fear is exaggerated, or disproportionate.
So there is a possibility if you want to do something, you'll get
it wrong and you'll be embarrassed. But that fear of
embarrassment is exaggerated and disproportionate. So that's an
irrational fear of failure.
The crux of it of is this, listen to this point very attentively.
When there is a reasonable prospect of success. When there is
a reasonable prospect of success, and your fear of failure,
Eclipse's your motivation to succeed, then it's a problem.
When you want to do something, and there is a reasonable prospect of
success, but your fear of failure overpowers your motivation to do
it, then you have a problem. Otherwise, each one of us will
have some degree of fear, some degree of anxiety, that's normal.
That's the kind of energy that you need to tap into. But what you
need to be careful about is to ensure that your fear of failure
does not overwhelm your motivation to do the action, your motivation
to succeed.
on a on a lighter note, let me share something with you.
They say
if plan A doesn't work, if plan A doesn't work, there are still 25
letters in the alphabet.
And then if you speak Japanese, there are 204 letters in the
alphabet.
Let's talk about the benefits of failure.
Now we come to the to the core of what I want to discuss. You may be
thinking what is this man going on about even when the topic went
out, people are asking benefits of failure. It sounds like an
oxymoron. Like a contradiction in terms No.
Psychologically and Islamically, I will outline two in the brief time
that I have left how they are benefits to failure. First, I
can't list all of them and missed some of the primary ones. failure
and defeat is the greatest teacher in life.
failure and defeat is the greatest teacher in life. Many people like
to play it safe, fly under the radar. They repeat the same safe
choices over and over again, they don't realize the true potential.
They don't discover a lot of what was reasonably possible for them
to discover how else will you learn if you don't try and if you
don't fail, every now and again, if you don't stumble, you know,
that's part of life, it teaches you failure as a teacher. The
second benefit of failure is that it helps you to reach your
potential. You embrace possible failure and make it a key to
taking on a variety of challenges, which will enable you to reach new
heights. embracing failure is a necessary step to unprecedent
unprecedented success. You want to reach greater heights new levels,
you have to embrace the possibility of failure. Another
benefit of failure is that he teaches us creativity.
Many of us would have heard about Thomas Edison, he created the
light bulb, he failed 1000 times before he discovered the right
material to make a light bulb.
So if he succumbed to the fear of failure on the first time,
I don't know if he would have had electricity to do you'd have red
lights
1000 times he failed before he found the right material. So never
underestimate the magical properties of failure. it rewires
your brain and it gets your creative juices flowing.
So it teaches creativity.
Another benefit of failure is it redirects you in life, sometimes
we lose our way a little bit. So failure shows you where you
shouldn't be. Failure gives you an opportunity to reevaluate to come
back stronger with a better strategy.
failure teaches you to learn from your mistakes and to change your
tactics. This is a key point. When you embrace failure doesn't mean
you do the same thing over and over again. That's the definition
of stupidity. Stupidity is when you do the same thing over and
over again expecting different results. It teaches you to try and
discover where you are going wrong, what you are doing wrong.
Change your texting tactics try differently to achieve the same
outcome. Another benefit of failure and this is perhaps one of
the most important ones. It keeps you hungry and humble.
Failure keeps you hungry and humble.
One of the greatest threats to success is complacency. And if you
don't eat failure, every now and then you become complacent. You
rely on your past success. But past success does not translate
necessarily into future glory. Failure has a way of motivating us
keeping us hungry keeping us humble. It gives you a perspective
on success. When you taste failure. Then when Allah grants
you success, you will be grateful. You will be humbled
You will be empathetic at the time of success. Otherwise you'll
become arrogant. You'll become overconfident. Failure strips you
of your notion of invincibility makes you realize that you human,
that you dependent on Allah, you won't get it right every time.
Another benefit of failure is that it's the most valuable t, it makes
you a valuable teacher and mentor. How will you teach your children
or your subordinates if you haven't failed at some point or
the other because and listen to this, they say, you will learn
more in a single failure than a lifetime of success. You will
learn more in a single failure than in a lifetime of success.
Lastly, I'll mention in terms of the benefits of failure is it
makes you tough.
It creates resilience. The experts say if you fail, feast on your
failure
some of them I'm not saying he was doing it. Some of them said he was
actually have a feast
to celebrate that Allah has given you an opportunity to learn. But
even if you don't have a physical feast, because people will think
you're about to screw shot, you fail the new celebrating,
celebrate the opportunity feast on your failure by making the most of
the moment to learn so that you don't repeat the mistakes. That's
the meaning of feasting on the failure. Let me quickly give you
some examples of people who have failed only too late to achieve
great success.
How many of you got iPhone?
Pick up your hands. Okay, now I'm not gonna embarrass you, you know.
Steve Jobs was fired from Apple.
Later on, he came back he became the CEO of Apple and then they
created the iPhone and the MacBook. He said he would never
have been successful in his second tenure as CEO of Apple. If he
wasn't fired in his first period as an employee of Apple.
He failed in order to achieve Einstein. He did not speak until
he was four years old. He did not write until he was seven years
old. His teacher described him as mentally slow.
Henry Ford, many driving forwards. He went broke five times five
times bankrupt. Before he eventually succeeded Churchill.
He failed the sixth grade.
It failed the sixth grade. So what's the lesson? Somebody so
beautifully said Don't say I failed 99 times. Don't say I
failed 99 times say I have discovered 99 ways that create
failure.
Don't say I have failed 99 times say I have learned 99 ways that
will cause me to fail.
Let me give you in the end we are all Muslims, right?
What does the Quran and Sunnah say about failure
there's a hadith I'll move away Hi, Ron Boyle hola him in a minute
the life
of equal in Playa Juarez, Salah my info was down below will attaches.
In short, this hadith tells us make an effort. Be strong not only
physically but mentally and emotionally. Be courageous. Don't
be overwhelmed by the fear of failure. But seek assistance from
Allah and don't become helpless. The fear of failure will make you
helpless. But you see, this is the beauty of being Muslim. The hadith
tells you be courageous. Right? Go out there and try your best. But
in the end, the Kadeem What a beautiful belief. What is the
deal? Don't become despondent of your failures. Don't become
arrogant of your success attribute both to Allah.
You rely on Allah, you go out to give it your best shot. If
something goes wrong. The hadith says Don't say lo if I did this,
if I that did that say that Allah wa Masha, Allah Allah, Allah knows
best Allah decreed. Allah knows why he made me fail.
Before you do it, you rely on Allah, after you do it. You
reaffirm your belief in Allah, that sometimes the outcome will
not always be according to my expectations, according to my
intentions, according to my logic, because when you go down the route
of saying I should have I could have done you opening the door to
blame to panic to regret and grief you do to the best of your
ability, then the outcome is in the hands of Allah that's we as
Muslims believe in taqdeer. That it is not meant to be make you
passive. It means it means it's meant to make you active back to
keep that balance. You don't control everything. What I say and
Takara who che and well who are Kira Lacan, sometimes you will not
like the outcome, but that outcome is best for you in the long run.
The world will see that outcome is a failure, but failure is a sign
of one who's making an effort. Otherwise you won't fail or you
won't succeed. If you don't make an effort, you won't fail you
won't succeed
So as Muslims, well may, Allah Hi Jana humara, we have Allah, You
Don't be reckless, you do your due diligence after that you have
reliance on Allah. Another important Islamic angle to this
concept of the benefits of failure is that many times according to
material or worldly norms, where if you would have failed, but in
the court of Allah, you didn't fail how sometimes Allah makes you
fail in this dunya because he wants you to turn and come back to
him and become a better servant of his.
Sometimes you lose in the way and then you wanted that promotion,
Allah didn't give any give it to you, you see, there's a failure.
But Allah says, sometimes we deprive you in order to strengthen
you to prepare you for something bigger and greater. Sometimes we
deprive you, we give you material failure, because that material
success would have taken you further away from Allah, and you
would have been a failure in that era. So if you fail in this world,
but it was designed by Allah to make you succeed in the ark era,
it's it can never be a failure.
Another thing, look at the story of Adam and he believes they both
failed to follow the commands of Allah.
But Adam Alayhis Salam said of alumna and fusina, Allah we have
wronged ourselves. IBLEES blamed Allah for Bhima equate any because
of his failure at the Melissa was elevated and because of his
failure, a bliss was denigrated.
Failure is not a failure in itself. It depends on how you
respond to it. Many times failure is a test the verse which I
recited, in my introduction, Allah says, A Hasebe, a nurse or a Utako
a Apolo Amen. Now Humla afternoon. Do you think that just because you
muslim, we won't test you? What happened on those Sahaba failed to
stay on the hill. And as a result, the Muslims failed to defeat the
Mexican army. 70 martyred, what is mutilated when they're going back?
Allah says Allah you know, Allah has no not time to grieve to your
soul yourself. So party, a pity party, or animal Ilona in, many in
you will achieve if you become the true servants of Allah subhanho wa
taala. What will kill a year monada will have been a nurse
Allah says life is such you win some you lose some. But what you
lose should be a stepping stone for you to win ultimately at life
in this world, as well as in the atom. So let's quickly recap. We
discussed you can truly live without failing. Why do we fear
failure? The ego doesn't want to be embarrassed, it doesn't want to
be hurt. We want to we fearful of failing the first time. What is
failure? Failure is just success that is postponed. The only time
you truly fail is if you give up. Many of our fears are self
created. They're not real. What are the benefits of failure, it
teaches you It humbles you. It develops resilience it generates
creativity it helps you to reach your potential. It makes you a
good teacher and a good mentor Steve Jobs failed Henry Ford
failed even Einstein failed before they succeeded. The Quran and
Sunnah tells us Allah will make you tasty fried sometimes as a
test sometimes to bring you closer to you sometimes because Allah
wants to show you that you may think it's a failure, but it's a
stepping stone to something much greater. How you respond to
failure will determine whether you succeed or not. We've seen the
story of bliss and Adam alayhis salaam. Let me conclude with these
few thoughts. The purpose of this talk is not to make you reckless
not to create a false sense of bravado that could do whatever you
want. And don't fear consequences. No. Muslims are balanced no matter
whatsoever. The purpose of this talk is that don't let the fear of
failure hold you back when these a reasonable chance of success.
Don't let it hold you back from growing and reaching new heights
and fulfilling your potential because failure as they say should
be a stepping stone to success. No failure is fatal no matter how
hard it may be in the short term, because you always get another
shot to try again, no failure is permanent. Because real failure is
when you don't make the most of the situation you don't learn the
most. They say when they throw lemonade when they throw lemons
make lemonade. There is no crisis in the corporate world. They say
no crisis should go wasted. Every crisis provides an opportunity.
The greatest failure is when you don't use the opportunity to
become the best version of yourself. We all fail from time to
time. But truly successful people are the ones that are not afraid
to fall, get back very fast and try again. truly successful people
are the ones who don't fear falling. They say if I fall I'll
get back quicker than others. And I will try again. share with you
one more coat. They say success is going from one failure to the next
with no loss of enthusiasm.
Success is going from one failure to the next with no loss of
enthusiasm. There are some profound words with which I want
to terminate. Listen very carefully to this. Failure should
be our teacher, not our Undertaker.
Failure should be our teacher, not our Undertaker. Failure is delay,
not defeat
Eat. Failure is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is
something we can avoid only by saying nothing doing nothing and
being nothing.
In Arabic they say, rope by letting a Maldon can add sub OSA.
Sometimes illness is the cause of cure. Sometimes failure is the
cause of success. You need to have a heart attack to catch a wake up
to look after your overall health. If you didn't have that heart
attack, maybe you would have continued to be complacent. So
life is like that sometimes. Sometimes you have to fail your
way to success. You have to fail your way to success. May Allah
grant us the understanding of sal Allahu wa Salam wa barik ala
Nabina Muhammad Wacka Dhawan Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen