Suhaib Webb – Stations of the Seekers Part 3 Repentance
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We praise Allah.
We send peace and blessings upon,
our beloved messenger, Muhammad,
upon his family, his companions,
and those who follow them until the end
of time.
To everybody.
Before we start, just wanted to check-in and
make sure everybody's well.
It's important also that we center ourselves, you
know,
and check-in
from time to time just on how we're
feeling,
how we're doing, Insha'Allah.
And,
you know, to feel,
heard,
oftentimes,
we may go through, like, days,
weeks
without really feeling anyone
has taken the time to listen to us.
So
I just wanna check-in,
make sure inshallah, anyone have any needs? Everybody's
okay? Like, don't be shy.
Inshallah.
Any dua requests,
we take them, like, really seriously. Inshallah.
So,
Alhamdulillah, we've been going through this text, Minazil
Asa Irene of Imam Al Harawi,
who was a great Hanbali scholar.
Ironically,
this may surprise people, but the majority
a large majority of the early Sufis were
actually Hanbalis.
And he was known as Sheikh Al Islam.
He was someone that was like highly regarded.
He wasn't a perfect person. Like, none of
these people that we talk about, we should
ever think they're perfect. That's not fair for
us to place people,
in places of perfection. But he wrote this
really beautiful text that goes through
the different stations
of
Like,
the inner
states of the person.
So you could think of this as like
a book of fiqh for your heart.
It's like Fiqh tells us like these are
the actions you should be doing. Right? Like
I should be doing,
like if I'm
trying to improve my spiritual
capacity,
my worship,
my relationship with Allah, the intimacy
of having that relationship.
So, like, don't do this, don't eat that,
you know, stay away from this, do this,
do this a lot.
This text is focusing on
the inner aspects of that of that path.
And he divided it into a number of
sections. And the first is Al Bidayat,
the beginnings of like emotional
religious consciousness.
Right? The
early iterations
of religiosity.
And that's hard it's hard for people to
do. Every once in a while,
I receive a message from somebody who, you
know, like faith has called them back, Alhamdulillah.
Or or they've recently accepted Islam.
And like, my advice to them sometimes
may frustrate them because I say to them
like, work on loving your parents.
Like, work on like being a person who
cares about people.
So what I've noticed
is that people tend not to wanna work
on this stuff.
Like, we're we're quick to kinda focus on
the externals,
but we don't really want to take the
time to center ourselves. One of our teachers
used to say, if you're not centered, you
become a sinner.
Right? To have yeah, tidel,
balance.
And one of the important components of balance
is like to take time out and cultivate
the internal qualities. And we live now in
an age where people, like, tend to be
divided in the community between, like, activism
and, like, religious issues.
But there should be no, like,
contradiction between the 2. If we look at
Sultan Maida,
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, he orders Sayid Nabuza
and his community to go into the holy
land.
Go into the sacred land.
Like there's big people in there. We're not
gonna go in there.
Like we're not gonna go in there.
But 2 people who fear Allah.
So they have activism, They're outwardly active and
passionate about causes,
but also says,
they have fear of God. So they have
the internal and the external. Those two people,
what they say?
Go. So one of my teachers, he's in
jail now in Egypt, may Allah free him.
He used to say,
2 people are stronger than a whole nation.
Like 2 people who balance
spiritual
anchorings
with external
passions of the activist are.
They're stronger than an entire nation.
And and and we're in a community where
we've got to maintain a commitment to our
foundations
or we risk being used by others.
Because either we're going to worship Allah
and be used for his deen or used
by someone else.
How do I know that I'm not being,
you know, necessarily used
is that I'm true to my commitment, to
my principles, my foundations.
There's a great article. She was here, Doctor.
Sawad,
a few weeks ago about this like you
know, not every opportunity
for exposure
is necessarily good.
Right? Think strategically.
So this text focuses on that in internal
focus
with the goal of it leading to like
external practice.
He never like divorces it from either or.
That's why Allah says
over and over in the Quran you find
this idea. Right? This duality, inner outer, inner
outer, inner outer, outer inner, always.
Allah says that he loves people who repent
and he loves people who are physically pure.
Because repentance is internal purity.
Right? When I repent to Allah, I purify
my heart.
But when I practice external purity,
external purity.
So there's always this duality.
Always this notion
of of and that's that's the battle that
we all go through. Like, none of us
are going to achieve like perfection in that.
Right? There's always that struggle
to limit that contradiction.
So the first the first station he began
with
is Aliyahqawba,
awakenings.
And like we we spent a lot of
time talking about
different ways in which
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala careens into our life
and presents opportunities for awakenings, whether through great
success
or great trauma.
And we said for a believer,
we can simply place
success
and pain
as motivating factors to stay on the way
of Ihsan.
And and it's not easy. We talked about
finding wisdom in some of those things can
be incredibly challenging.
And then after that, after we wake up,
and this is where we stopped, you know,
I wake up, I'm in my room and
like I'm totally awake now.
And at that moment, I achieved like some
awareness
of my true situation.
So once I'm aware,
then I want to repent.
I wanna try to fix
the things that I've done wrong.
So the second
stop
is where we
stopped,
is a Tawba.
Repentance.
So, we'll quickly go through that, then we'll
pray, then we'll start inshallah, hopefully the end
of Tawba and then start the 3rd one
tonight inshallah.
In the 10th verse of the 49th chapter
of the Quran, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said,
whoever doesn't repent is an oppressor.
So that would mean we have something in
in in
our tradition called
which means we can invert a text and
also take another meaning from it.
So whoever doesn't repent
has oppressed himself. What will be the inverse
of that?
Is that whoever repents is what?
Successful.
So some of our teachers to state say,
in this verse is a threat and a
promise.
Because like the mantuk of the verse, what
we read,
oh snap, if I haven't repented, I'm in
big trouble.
That's what's read. What's understood though is the
opposite that if I do repent, then I'm
going to be what?
Successful. SubhanAllah. So in one verse, two meanings.
And the the proof is Allah says
Allah said in the Quran, believers,
all of you repent.
You'll be successful.
So like,
that verse shouldn't shouldn't just be read to
like intimidate me and destroy me. Man, I
haven't repented in so long.
But at the same time, it's a promise
that if I do repent and I do
come back to Allah,
insha'Allah,
then there's hope.
That's why we say there's no verse of
the Quran
that issues a threat except in it, packed
in it is its opposite.
And also, there's no verse that has hope,
right, and a promise
except in it is its opposite.
That's why Al Muhasibi,
he said that the Quran
has a certain number of rights on you.
The first one is
is to live it.
There was a Sahabi,
subhan'Allah, he was the oldest Sahabi,
one of the last Sahaba alive in Iraq.
I can't remember his name.
And one day his student came to him
and he found him. He was an elderly
man. He found him, he was super happy.
He said, why are you so happy? He
said, today khatam to Quran.
Like today I did khatam of Quran.
He said, man, you became Muslim in the
time of Sayidina Muhammad
and you just made khatam today?
He
said, Which means I didn't finish reciting it,
I finished acting on it today.
So he said, I'm confused. He said, you
know, there's this one verse
where if you knock on someone's door 3
times, they don't answer Farjeel, go back. He
said, man, from the time I became Muslim
to this day, every time I knocked on
somebody's door they open the door. So I
never had the chance to go back.
He said, today
nobody answered.
He said, look, today
I knocked on the door and finally nobody
answered. I knocked 3
times, nobody answered. So he said, today I
finished the Quran.
SubhanAllah.
So the first,
is to act on it. The second he
said,
is to have regard for its promises and
its threats.
To take those things seriously.
The third is to believe
in its
allegorical verses like aliflamim,
hamim. We don't understand what those mean, but
we believe in them.
And then the 4th he said
is
You know, it's to like take benefit from
its parables and its stories. Actually, 4 things,
4 things.
So the verses of Tawba that encourage us
to make Tawba, the opposite will be if
we don't make Tawba,
repent, we're in trouble. The verses that talk
about people who don't repent are in trouble,
the inverse is that if they do repent,
insha'Allah.
So every verse has a duality, SubhanAllah.
Every verse, and you'll now be able to
appreciate appreciate why we talked about this last
year.
Every verse of Quran sits between fear and
hope.
But the agent
is you and me.
Who's gonna act on what will bring about
that sincere hope?
And who's going to act on what will
bring
that sense of fear? SubhanAllah.
So the sheikh, he says for us
That's why he said, you know, the the
application of oppression is turned or or is
dropped concerning the person who repents.
Then he said, repentance cannot truly happen until
we recognize our sins. So we talked about
how recognition of sins is one of the
greatest blessings of Allah
for a person. Because
it's one thing for me to wrong someone,
usually when someone wrongs me, I know in
my own life, I just cut them off,
man.
Unless it's like a family member, but like
if someone wrongs me,
like the easy way is like, I'm out.
Or I put them on blast.
Right? Those 2 are simple.
Because when I put people on blast, I
I I make myself look good.
Unless they need to be put on blast.
We should do a class to fitka putting
people on blast.
But,
very rarely
am I going to go and tell that
person,
hey, this is how you messed up.
Here's how you can fix it
Because that takes a lot of time.
So the sheikh he says
Sheikh, he said like, real tawba doesn't happen
unless
I become aware of my my mistakes.
So Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala is so merciful
that he makes someone aware of their mistakes
and then guides them to want to repent
to him.
* Tawba said that Allah turned to them
so they would repent to Allah. Meaning Allah
turned to them by showing them their mistakes,
so that they would feel a sense of
now I need to return.
That's why the verse
Raheem. With them God has been merciful, forgiving,
and kind.
So he We should never like, when we
have those moments, we talked about this before,
of awareness
where we're brought into a state where
I feel like I've done some things that
are bad.
I should not allow that
to consume me and destroy me,
but I should say Alhamdulillah, Allah Subhanahu Wa
Ta'ala has awakened me
to the situation. Al Youqaba.
And now I need to turn back to
him.
So like,
that's why subhan'Allah, one of our teachers used
to say, whoever finds themselves aware of their
illness, their sicknesses, right,
should understand that Allah loved them.
That Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has opened the
door back
in spite of ourselves.
SubhanAllah.
So like again we talked about before,
being aware of evil
has a potential for great change.
But if I allow it to destroy me,
then that's where shaitan now is coming into
play and like,
you know,
trying to cause me to lose hope.
Then he said,
recognizing
so and he said like true repentance can
only happen
when
we understand the gravity of what we've done.
And that involves 3 things. Number 1,
I realized that
when I performed the sin, I've harmed the
special relationship between me and Allah,
subhanahu wa ta'ala.
Number 2, that that unique relationship with Allah.
Number 2 is that, like,
I enjoyed
it. Like, I actually enjoyed the sin, like
I enjoyed
Maersi.
I enjoyed disobeying the one who created me.
The one who guided me.
And the third, he said you will understand
the gravity of this when you realize you're
never alone.
So like I did it
even though as a believer
or as a Muslim, I know Allah, he
said the language he used
staring at you.
So there was a moment where
my yaqeen and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala seeing
me has been
compromised. And then as we know, he likes
to talk about things in threes.
So he said the conditions of repentance are
3. We talked about it. Number 1,
is regret.
To feel a sense of remorse, man, the
prophet
said.
Number 2 is a deep awareness of what
I've done,
a mindfulness
of of the mistake I've made.
Number 3,
a sincere apology.
And we should never understand that these things
are impossible. Like, I have a problem when
people teach
kind of books of Tasulwuf,
like, the way that it's phrased, it's like
it's not for us. But this is for
us, man.
Right? It doesn't mean like, oh, what if
I don't do it perfect? Well, you're not
perfect in the first place. It's okay, man.
You know,
subhanAllah, I was in a nightclub. I was
17 years old,
man. And I was reading Quran at that
time in the restroom of my mother's house.
And I used to get into clubs because
I could DJ so they would let me
in because I was, you know, not very
small.
People didn't know how old I was. And
I remember man, I was DJ ing, then
I went into the restroom. I started crying
in the restroom. I said if you're Buddha,
if you're Jesus,
if you're
Allah, if you're whoever, I'm sorry
for like living my life like this.
So like, if it could happen in a
toilet man, you know what I'm saying? Like
if you're in a mosque and you made
wudu and you left class early or you
came from work early to repent, like you're
not in the restroom DJing
with a bag of weed in your pocket.
So you should never
allow as Imam Ibn Utta'a Allah said,
if you feel destroyed by your sins,
then be then drown in trans transcendent Rahmah.
And if you've taken your sins lightly,
then drown yourself in transcendent justice.
There has to be a balance.
And I have a problem when people make
these things so linear like, you gotta be
like absolutely perfect.
There can't be one wrinkle in your clothing.
We do that to the Muslim community because,
you know, modernity has played a game on
everybody. But like,
we're human beings.
Don't you think Allah is kind enough and
loving enough to know that you're trying your
best?
So when I'm talking about these things, we
mentioned this early on.
Even if you're up by 31 points,
okay, you shouldn't get laxed.
And even if you're down by 31 points,
don't get laxed. Anyone saw that game last
night? That was amazing.
But the point I'm trying to say is
like, don't allow notions of perfection
to destroy yourself.
At the same time, don't allow notions of,
like, we're gonna talk about this later, like,
Allah is forgiving, Allah is forgiving, to
destroy.
So the Sheikh, he said,
you know, a deep awareness of who you
are. You need to be mindful. I need
to be mindful of who I am.
And a sincere apology and then al iqla,
which means to leave it.
We talked about what that means like if
there's addiction involved, that there's some kind of
mental or psychological challenge. Those those are very
different than being able to stop something immediately.
Or by stopping it, if it creates a
greater harm in my life,
Those are issues that are different. Those are
issues that we take us into into into,
consideration
as strategy.
And then,
he says that
the subtleties
are
the realities of, for instance, the hapika of
repentance are also three things.
Understanding the magnanimity of the sin,
charging your soul, indicting your soul until it
feels that it needs to repent,
and then seeking forgiveness.
And then he says, the the deep secrets
of repentance are also 3.
Distinguishing the anchor from deception. Meaning, like, when
I repent,
coming out of doing evil, am I going
to rely on God or evil? So deception
from what should be a true anchor. And
we'll finish here insha Allah.
Then forgetting the sin. Meaning after years years
years if Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has brought
you into a different state, in a different
practice, you've replaced evil with good,
then keep on that path. Remember Allah's mercy
more than you remember the sin because Allah
has established you on his obedience.
And then the last is that
constantly stay in repentance.
Like throughout your life make it a habit.
And that's because Allah says and what he
means here is like don't feel like just
because you're good, everything is great, like you're
not committing you're not making mistakes.
No. No. Always,
repent.
Because Allah says
believers repent. He said, believers,
they're still sinning.
So we'll we'll stop here and then we'll
continue. We'll finish this part of the text
and then we'll move on to the 3rd
station,