Sikander Hashmi – Love and Support for Youth KMA Friday Message

Sikander Hashmi
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AI: Summary ©

The speakers emphasize the importance of healthy activities, addressing issues related to youth, and avoiding drugs and drinking. They stress the need for parents to hold onto their children and not become victim of the virus, and to give children guidance and support through love and respect. The speakers also emphasize the importance of building a passionate parenting foundation and empowering youth to learn and adapt their parents to their interests and challenges. The segment ends with a prize draw for children to qualify for a family night.

AI: Summary ©

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			Respected elders, dear brothers and sisters,
		
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			my young
		
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			friends,
		
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			We begin by praising Allah
		
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			the lord of the universe,
		
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			our creator,
		
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			our sustainer,
		
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			our nourisher,
		
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			our protector. And we begin by sending peace
		
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			and salutations
		
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			upon his beloved messenger,
		
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			Muhammad, the son of Abdullah
		
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			My brothers and sisters, I hope and I
		
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			pray that you're all doing well by the
		
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			grace and the mercy of Allah
		
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			on this, beautiful Friday,
		
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			this blessed day of Jum'ah,
		
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			which is expected to be a hot one,
		
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			and more heat coming for this weekend. May
		
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			Allah keep you all well. May Allah
		
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			keep you and your your loved ones, your
		
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			household
		
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			happy and healthy. I mean,
		
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			My brothers and sisters, we got the news
		
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			this week of,
		
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			the announcement from the province of Ontario that
		
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			schools
		
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			will not be opening or reopening for in
		
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			person learning,
		
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			this academic year, meaning in June, and the
		
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			schools,
		
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			will continue online. Schooling will continue online
		
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			until the academic year comes to an end.
		
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			I know this has been a difficult time
		
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			for, for many families,
		
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			especially with younger children,
		
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			who are struggling to study online.
		
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			And I know it can be stressful, especially
		
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			when both parents are working from home as
		
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			well. May Allah make it easy for you.
		
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			You know, just make sure that you're getting
		
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			out, that you're getting some exercise, that you're
		
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			you and your children are getting away from
		
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			the computer screens and from your phones.
		
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			Go out and bike and walk or jog,
		
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			run,
		
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			play some sports, amongst yourselves.
		
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			Keep healthy. Keep active.
		
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			Enjoy the the the nature, the beauty of
		
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			the nature of Allah that Allah has created.
		
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			And,
		
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			also don't be too harsh on yourselves. Right?
		
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			It is a challenging time, so, you know,
		
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			don't expect perfection from yourself, from your family,
		
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			from your children.
		
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			Cut some slack for yourself and for others.
		
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			Of course, it's it's good to aim high
		
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			and try to do the right things, so
		
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			I'm not trying to discourage that. But, you
		
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			know, just just don't be too harsh,
		
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			and and and feel down because you have
		
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			not been able to do everything perfectly because
		
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			these are challenging circumstances.
		
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			We ask Allah
		
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			to make it easy for you. May Allah
		
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			remove these difficulties
		
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			and grant
		
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			happiness and peace
		
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			of mind and peace of heart to you
		
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			and your children and your family members, especially
		
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			at this time.
		
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			My brothers and sisters,
		
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			you know, in the past week,
		
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			we have once again seen a rash of
		
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			shootings,
		
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			and this happens, unfortunately,
		
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			every now and then.
		
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			And what is notable, especially for us members
		
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			of the Muslim community, is that the victims
		
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			sadly have Muslim names, and,
		
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			sadly, the suspects
		
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			also have Muslim names as well. And this
		
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			is something that we cannot overlook.
		
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			This is something that is noticeable,
		
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			and this is something that has been concerning
		
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			us and rightly so.
		
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			It has highlighted
		
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			the reality once again that Muslims
		
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			are overrepresented
		
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			in local jails, in local correctional facilities,
		
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			and are overrepresented
		
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			in violent crimes.
		
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			And what that means is that the percentage
		
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			of Muslims that live in the region,
		
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			is is is lower than the percentage
		
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			of Muslims or at least Muslim names that
		
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			we find in committing crimes,
		
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			or being victims of violent crimes, unfortunately.
		
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			And there's, of course, a lot of concern,
		
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			a lot of angst amongst
		
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			parents,
		
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			and, of course, rightfully so. Right? It is
		
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			totally understandable.
		
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			And as parents, we should be concerned.
		
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			Now we can't address the issue fully right
		
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			now, but I would like to share a
		
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			few important things.
		
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			So first of all first of all, you
		
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			all know, every single one of you knows,
		
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			I hope,
		
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			that I deeply,
		
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			value our youth.
		
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			I love all of your children. I love
		
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			all of our youth,
		
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			and I, feel very,
		
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			passionate about our youth. And the reason for
		
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			that is because, of course, the youth are
		
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			our future. They are the future of our
		
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			community. They are the ones who will be
		
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			leaving our community. They are the ones who
		
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			will be taking forward this Amana, this trust
		
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			that we have received from our parents, from
		
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			our predecessors,
		
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			and we have to pass it on to
		
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			our youth. And, the our youth are the
		
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			future leaders of tomorrow, the future builders of
		
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			tomorrow. They are the future parents of tomorrow.
		
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			So they are the everything of tomorrow as
		
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			far as our community is concerned, as far
		
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			as our faith is concerned,
		
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			and our, our well-being is concerned, not just
		
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			as Muslims, but as society as a whole.
		
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			So I feel,
		
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			very passionate when it comes to our youth.
		
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			Now I'd like to share a message
		
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			to my young friends. I have a message
		
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			for my young friends, especially those who are
		
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			in their teens right now. I know I
		
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			know very well
		
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			that most probably your life right now is
		
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			not easy.
		
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			There's so much pressure, and I don't mean
		
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			just in pandemic, but just generally in this
		
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			age
		
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			and, at the age that you're in and
		
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			the time in which we live in. There's
		
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			so much pressure, right, at a time when
		
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			you're going through so many changes in every
		
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			way, and you're surrounded by so many things
		
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			that you've been taught are wrong or you've
		
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			been told that you should be careful about.
		
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			So it can be incredibly challenging to figure
		
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			it all out. And then on top of
		
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			that, there's pressures,
		
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			you know, from all sides, pressures from society,
		
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			pressures from peers, pressure from school, pressure from
		
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			parents, and pressure of your own desires and
		
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			feelings and the things that you want to
		
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			do.
		
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			I know that you are all good kids.
		
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			I know that. In the bottom of my
		
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			heart, I know that you, in the bottom
		
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			of your hearts, are all good kids who
		
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			are trying to make sense of it all.
		
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			And sometimes maybe you get carried away. And,
		
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			I feel it. Right? I know how difficult
		
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			it is. You know, I've been in schools.
		
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			You know, I've, I've you've been to my
		
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			programs. I've spoken to you. I've heard you.
		
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			You've spoken to me, so I know how
		
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			it is. And I know it is incredibly,
		
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			incredibly
		
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			challenging. So I actually have a lot of
		
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			respect
		
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			for any of our youth who are trying,
		
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			even if it seems like it's a little
		
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			bit, but are trying to do the right
		
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			thing, are trying to hold on to their
		
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			deen, are trying to continue to strengthen their
		
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			relationship with Allah
		
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			are trying to contribute positively,
		
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			somehow, somewhere. So I I really, really respect
		
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			that and respect that greatly.
		
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			So you're all you know, you're trying to
		
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			make sense of it, and sometimes maybe you
		
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			get carried away. And guess what? It happened
		
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			to all of us,
		
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			every single one of us, your parents, your
		
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			grandparents,
		
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			all of us. So we understand.
		
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			We understand how it is, and we are
		
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			here to love you unconditionally
		
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			and to help you through this. Okay? That
		
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			is what we are aiming to do. I
		
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			and your parents and your relatives
		
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			want you to succeed
		
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			in every way. We want you to be
		
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			successful
		
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			in every way. And many of you,
		
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			have stayed out of trouble and have made
		
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			many right choices. And for that, we congratulate
		
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			you, and we are so happy for you.
		
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			When I see our young people,
		
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			being successful, whether it is,
		
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			you know, in in worldly matters, whether it
		
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			is in religious matters, whether it is, you
		
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			know, in their family life, whatever it is.
		
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			We got so happy.
		
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			You know, when you speak out and you
		
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			do things which are positive,
		
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			you speak up for the truth, we get
		
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			so happy. Right? Whenever you do something positive,
		
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			we're incredibly happy for you, and we congratulate
		
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			you. Some of you may have had many
		
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			may have made many right choices, but along
		
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			with that, maybe a few choices which were
		
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			not so great. And that's okay because Allah
		
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			is the most forgiving. Allah
		
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			is the most forgiving. And we know that
		
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			if we want the forgiveness of Allah
		
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			for ourselves, we should also be forgiving towards
		
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			others as well. Everyone makes mistakes, every human
		
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			being,
		
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			So everyone makes mistakes.
		
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			But what's most important
		
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			is that we learn from our mistakes.
		
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			The the fault is not necessarily making mistakes
		
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			because we all make mistakes, but a fault
		
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			is when a person makes a mistake and
		
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			doesn't learn from their mistakes and continues to
		
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			repeat those mistakes
		
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			and doesn't take an opportunity
		
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			to to learn and to improve themselves.
		
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			We all have many choices to make every
		
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			day
		
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			and each time. This goes for every single
		
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			one of us. There's many, many choices that
		
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			we have to make. Think of your day.
		
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			Every single moment almost there's a choice to
		
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			make to be made. And each time, we
		
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			try our best to make the best choice
		
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			possible.
		
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			Now when you make these choices every day,
		
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			and this goes for all of us, not
		
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			just my young friends, not just my my
		
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			young friends who are teenagers, but also for
		
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			adults as well. There are 2 truths to
		
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			remember.
		
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			And like I said, this is for all
		
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			of us. Truth number 1,
		
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			any gain,
		
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			k, any gain that comes from disobeying Allah's
		
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			guidance for us and remember, Allah's guidance, the
		
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			guidance of his messenger
		
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			are for our own benefit. Individually
		
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			and collectively,
		
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			as humanity, it is for our own benefit.
		
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			Okay? We may not understand all the wisdoms,
		
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			and that's fine. K? We may not understand.
		
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			We may not be able to connect all
		
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			the dots, but just know that all of
		
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			that guidance is for our own benefit.
		
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			So any gain that comes from disobeying Allah's
		
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			guidance for us or any, you know, seeming
		
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			success or feeling that comes by denying Allah's
		
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			existence,
		
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			it will never
		
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			ever lead to true success or to anything
		
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			good.
		
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			K? It will ultimately,
		
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			sooner or later, lead to failure and loss.
		
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			And that's what we don't want for you
		
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			or for any of us. So please, please
		
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			don't go there. It's not worth it. Really,
		
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			it's not worth it. And I say this
		
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			out of love and out of concern for
		
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			you. I don't want there I don't want
		
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			there to be a day when you look
		
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			back in regret and say that, you know
		
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			what? Imam Sikander was right, and I wish
		
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			I had listened to him then. I wish
		
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			I had listened to him when I was
		
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			younger when he gave me this message. So
		
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			please, please, for your own well-being,
		
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			for your own well-being, please do not go
		
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			into anything which involves the disobedience of Allah
		
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			but especially the denying of Allah because it
		
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			is not gonna lead to anything good. I've
		
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			seen people go down that road, and they're
		
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			a mess,
		
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			or Allah guides them and they come back,
		
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			but that period of time is not a
		
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			good period of time to be in. It's
		
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			not a good state to be in. So
		
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			that's truth number 1. Truth number
		
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			2,
		
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			drugs,
		
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			including weed, by the way. Okay? So even
		
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			drugs which may be legal or which may
		
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			seem or society or the people around you
		
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			may think like they're no big deal. Okay?
		
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			So drugs of any type,
		
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			alcohol,
		
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			guns,
		
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			gangs,
		
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			murders,
		
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			violent crime,
		
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			all of these should be red flags.
		
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			These things will never lead to anything good.
		
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			Okay? I can assure you 100%, they're never
		
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			going to lead to anything good. Even if
		
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			you don't see the harm right away, there
		
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			will be a harm in the long run.
		
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			K? So they're not gonna lead to anything
		
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			good. You might be pressured. I understand that.
		
00:11:51 --> 00:11:53
			You might be attracted by quick money. I
		
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			understand that. You might be seeking acceptance
		
00:11:56 --> 00:11:56
			and brotherhood,
		
00:11:57 --> 00:11:59
			and I understand that. Or maybe just an
		
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			escape from,
		
00:12:00 --> 00:12:02
			what appears to be a boring or maybe
		
00:12:02 --> 00:12:05
			a difficult life. I understand all of that.
		
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			But know that these things will never ever
		
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			be good for you, not in this world,
		
00:12:10 --> 00:12:11
			not in the hereafter.
		
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			So please don't risk it. There's nothing to
		
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			gain,
		
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			everything to lose. Sometimes people think, oh, I'm
		
00:12:17 --> 00:12:18
			just gonna go in a little bit, and
		
00:12:18 --> 00:12:20
			I'll and I'll get out. I'm smart I'm
		
00:12:20 --> 00:12:21
			smart enough to know. But guess what? It's
		
00:12:21 --> 00:12:23
			a slippery slope.
		
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			Thousands of people have gone thinking that they'll
		
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			get out, but they've actually fallen off the
		
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			cliff. Okay? So it's not worth the risk.
		
00:12:31 --> 00:12:32
			If you have people
		
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			who are into this stuff, who are around
		
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			you, then run the other way like there's
		
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			no tomorrow.
		
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			Why? Because nothing good is about to come
		
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			out from them unless unless you're helping one
		
00:12:43 --> 00:12:44
			of them get out of it. So if
		
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			you have a friend or someone that you
		
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			know, maybe you knew them from childhood or
		
00:12:48 --> 00:12:50
			maybe you were close at some point and
		
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			you've seen them going down that road,
		
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			then the only time when you want to
		
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			be in touch with them is if you're
		
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			trying to help them, if you're trying to
		
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			bring them back. But if you're risking yourself
		
00:13:00 --> 00:13:01
			and you're actually gonna get pulled the other
		
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			way, then it's not worth the risk. Okay?
		
00:13:03 --> 00:13:05
			Because it's gonna hurt you. It's gonna hurt
		
00:13:05 --> 00:13:08
			your family, your future, and your afterlife.
		
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			I've had the privilege, and I've said I've
		
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			been to prison before, but the privilege of
		
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			visiting. What I mean is I've been to
		
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			prison to visit our brothers in prison.
		
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			They can't even have a box of Popeyes
		
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			without planning 2 weeks ahead of time, even
		
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			if that is possible. K? It may not
		
00:13:26 --> 00:13:27
			even be possible.
		
00:13:28 --> 00:13:30
			Why? Because almost every aspect of their lives
		
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			is controlled.
		
00:13:32 --> 00:13:34
			What time they sleep, what time they get
		
00:13:34 --> 00:13:37
			up, what they wear, when they go out
		
00:13:37 --> 00:13:40
			for exercise, who they talk to, when they
		
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			meet with their families. Everything is controlled. I've
		
00:13:42 --> 00:13:44
			been inside. I've met those brothers. May Allah
		
00:13:44 --> 00:13:46
			bless them. They've turned their lives around, and
		
00:13:46 --> 00:13:49
			they've repented. And I really make dua for
		
00:13:49 --> 00:13:50
			them, and I wish them nothing but the
		
00:13:50 --> 00:13:52
			best. Right? But
		
00:13:52 --> 00:13:54
			you have a choice right now not to
		
00:13:54 --> 00:13:56
			go down that road. So please don't because
		
00:13:56 --> 00:13:58
			it's really it's really not worth it. And
		
00:13:58 --> 00:14:00
			the hereafter, Allah
		
00:14:00 --> 00:14:01
			tells us of greater
		
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			loss.
		
00:14:27 --> 00:14:27
			Allah
		
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			says, and whoever kills a believer intentionally,
		
00:14:32 --> 00:14:34
			their recompense, their reward
		
00:14:34 --> 00:14:35
			will be the hellfire
		
00:14:36 --> 00:14:37
			where they will stay indefinitely.
		
00:14:38 --> 00:14:41
			Allah will be displeased with them, condemn them,
		
00:14:41 --> 00:14:44
			and will prepare for them a tremendous punishment.
		
00:14:44 --> 00:14:48
			My friends, killing anyone purposely, right, except in
		
00:14:48 --> 00:14:49
			the few rare cases when it may be
		
00:14:49 --> 00:14:50
			legitimate
		
00:14:50 --> 00:14:52
			is a major sin
		
00:14:52 --> 00:14:54
			that will get a person thrown into the
		
00:14:54 --> 00:14:57
			hellfire and especially more so when it is
		
00:14:57 --> 00:14:59
			a fellow believer. Now you may not go
		
00:14:59 --> 00:15:02
			into something planning to kill anyone, but there's
		
00:15:02 --> 00:15:04
			a good chance there's a good chance you
		
00:15:04 --> 00:15:06
			will get used. Why do I say you
		
00:15:06 --> 00:15:08
			will get used? Because the people who are
		
00:15:08 --> 00:15:10
			up ahead or up on top,
		
00:15:10 --> 00:15:13
			hardly ever anything happens to them. Nothing happens
		
00:15:13 --> 00:15:14
			to them. They're the ones who are enjoying
		
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			life by using our kids, by using you,
		
00:15:17 --> 00:15:19
			by using your friends,
		
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			putting you in harm's way for their own
		
00:15:21 --> 00:15:24
			benefit, by giving you a few candies relatively
		
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			compared to what they have. And they're using
		
00:15:26 --> 00:15:29
			you, getting you to kill one another, getting
		
00:15:29 --> 00:15:30
			our youth
		
00:15:30 --> 00:15:32
			to attack one another, to kill one another
		
00:15:33 --> 00:15:34
			while they themselves
		
00:15:34 --> 00:15:38
			relax comfortably and watch the show. My friends,
		
00:15:38 --> 00:15:39
			do not get used.
		
00:15:40 --> 00:15:41
			Do not get used. And when you're at
		
00:15:41 --> 00:15:43
			that point, it will be very difficult to
		
00:15:43 --> 00:15:45
			say no. So to all my friends,
		
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			this is likely a tumultuous time in your
		
00:15:48 --> 00:15:51
			life. And I make, honestly, and you most
		
00:15:51 --> 00:15:52
			of you know this. I make lots of
		
00:15:52 --> 00:15:55
			dua for you, and I know it's tough.
		
00:15:55 --> 00:15:57
			But please hang in there. Hang in there,
		
00:15:57 --> 00:16:00
			and this too shall pass soon.
		
00:16:00 --> 00:16:03
			Insha'Allah insha'Allah. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala always
		
00:16:03 --> 00:16:05
			keep you happy. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
		
00:16:07 --> 00:16:10
			always protect you from all types of evil
		
00:16:10 --> 00:16:12
			regardless of whether they are visible or hidden.
		
00:16:12 --> 00:16:14
			May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant you steadfastness
		
00:16:15 --> 00:16:16
			steadfastness
		
00:16:17 --> 00:16:18
			in your faith. May Allah
		
00:16:19 --> 00:16:21
			grant you the very best in this life
		
00:16:21 --> 00:16:22
			and in the hereafter.
		
00:16:24 --> 00:16:26
			Now to my brothers and sisters, the parents,
		
00:16:27 --> 00:16:28
			soon to be parents,
		
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			grandparents,
		
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			I know everyone is concerned about their youth.
		
00:16:33 --> 00:16:35
			And as you know, I am too. When
		
00:16:35 --> 00:16:38
			it comes to guns and gang violence,
		
00:16:38 --> 00:16:40
			this is a complex issue
		
00:16:40 --> 00:16:43
			that involves many risk factors, which lead me
		
00:16:43 --> 00:16:46
			to believe that, you know, while being part
		
00:16:46 --> 00:16:48
			of criminal gangs or being involved in criminal
		
00:16:48 --> 00:16:50
			activity will always be wrong, and there's no
		
00:16:50 --> 00:16:53
			justification for it. The kids who are going
		
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			into this are actually victims themselves.
		
00:16:56 --> 00:16:58
			The kids who are going into this are
		
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			actually victims
		
00:17:00 --> 00:17:02
			themselves, and this is very important for us
		
00:17:02 --> 00:17:02
			to understand.
		
00:17:03 --> 00:17:05
			We will have a discussion tonight with doctor
		
00:17:05 --> 00:17:06
			Khaled Bazeid,
		
00:17:07 --> 00:17:10
			who is a child and adolescent psychiatrist,
		
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			expert in the field who is practicing currently
		
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			here in Ottawa.
		
00:17:15 --> 00:17:15
			Is
		
00:17:16 --> 00:17:18
			accepted, agreed to join us this evening at
		
00:17:18 --> 00:17:21
			9:30 PM for Friday family night live. So
		
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			please join us at 9:30 PM tonight for
		
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			that discussion, that very important discussion. And, of
		
00:17:26 --> 00:17:28
			course, we'll have our prize draw as well.
		
00:17:28 --> 00:17:29
			Fill out the quiz if you haven't already
		
00:17:29 --> 00:17:30
			at canonism.ca/quiz.
		
00:17:32 --> 00:17:34
			Now let us talk generally, though, about our
		
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			youth, my brothers and sisters.
		
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			We all want our youth to succeed in
		
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			this world and in the hereafter.
		
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			Anyone who disagrees with that, I don't think
		
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			so, and particularly in 3 things or 3
		
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			areas. So number 1, we want them to
		
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			hold on to their iman,
		
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			not become victim of the atheist, wolves, and
		
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			other arms of shaitan of the shayateen. So
		
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			that's number 1. We want them to hold
		
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			on to their iman.
		
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			Number 2, we don't want them to get
		
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			into any major sins,
		
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			especially,
		
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			when it comes to, you know, haram lifestyles
		
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			and things like that. And number 3, we
		
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			do not want them to go into, committing
		
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			crimes or into a life of crime. I
		
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			think everyone would agree with those three basic
		
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			things.
		
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			And that's the bare minimum for most parents.
		
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			Then, of course, on top of that, we
		
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			want them to be happy. We want them
		
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			to practice Islam. We want them to be
		
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			well behaved, and we want them to study
		
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			well and have good careers and get married
		
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			and have happy families and be successful and
		
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			so on. So all of those things, of
		
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			course, we agree.
		
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			So So there's a few tips I'd like
		
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			to share. I can't solve this problem. I
		
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			can't address it fully, but I'd like to
		
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			share a few tips.
		
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			Remember that every child will be different. Every
		
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			child will be different. But there's a few
		
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			things that every child needs, just like their
		
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			physical provisions, just like the the nurturing physically,
		
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			the physical provisions and the physical care that
		
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			they need, there's 3 things or a few
		
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			things that each child needs. So number 1,
		
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			love and nurturing care.
		
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			Children need their parents, especially when they're young.
		
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			K? Sadly, it is also and this has
		
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			really bothered me because sadly, this is also
		
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			often the time when financial pressures are high,
		
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			when your family is young, your children are
		
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			young, financial pressures are high. You know, you
		
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			have to work hard. That is the time
		
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			when you're working hard to establish your career
		
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			and so on. So if you have children,
		
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			and especially young children, there's probably nothing more
		
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			valuable that you can give them than your
		
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			love and your time. Right? And I'm thinking
		
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			ahead, right, because it starts early. Right? If
		
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			you have children now who are young, this
		
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			is the time to start.
		
00:19:32 --> 00:19:35
			Build and solidify that positive connection with them.
		
00:19:35 --> 00:19:36
			And in most cases,
		
00:19:37 --> 00:19:39
			that positive connection, that good relationship we have
		
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			with your children, it'll pay huge dividends later
		
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			on.
		
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			Take time off work if you can. Resist
		
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			the temptation to send them to daycare if
		
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			you can. And I know it's not gonna
		
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			be easy, especially for working moms. But please,
		
00:19:52 --> 00:19:54
			if you if it's possible for you if
		
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			it's possible for you, spend as much time
		
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			as possible with as you can with your
		
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			children. Give them as much love and attention
		
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			as you can because as you can because
		
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			that is what is gonna build their them
		
00:20:05 --> 00:20:07
			up. That is what is going to solidify,
		
00:20:07 --> 00:20:09
			strengthen their foundation and their roots. Now as
		
00:20:09 --> 00:20:11
			children grow older,
		
00:20:11 --> 00:20:13
			parents are their guides.
		
00:20:13 --> 00:20:15
			It is natural that children and youth will
		
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			make mistakes. That's a given. We all did
		
00:20:17 --> 00:20:18
			when we were young. So why do we
		
00:20:18 --> 00:20:20
			expect our children to be perfect when we
		
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			ourselves were not? Okay. So just understand
		
00:20:23 --> 00:20:26
			that your child will make mistakes. Okay.
		
00:20:26 --> 00:20:29
			Most children will make mistakes. Now as they
		
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			grow older,
		
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			you need to coach and guide them with
		
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			love and respect
		
00:20:35 --> 00:20:37
			with love and respect. Now this doesn't mean
		
00:20:37 --> 00:20:39
			that we spoil our children. When I say
		
00:20:39 --> 00:20:41
			unconditional love, it doesn't mean that we spoil
		
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			our children. You can still love your child
		
00:20:44 --> 00:20:46
			and still guide them in a loving way,
		
00:20:46 --> 00:20:48
			still help them in making good choices, instill
		
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			in them the ability to differentiate between right
		
00:20:51 --> 00:20:53
			and wrong and to make good choices. Because
		
00:20:53 --> 00:20:55
			guess what? You and I are not always
		
00:20:55 --> 00:20:57
			gonna be with our children. Eventually, they will
		
00:20:57 --> 00:20:58
			have to face the world, and they will
		
00:20:58 --> 00:21:00
			have to make choices. And sometimes they will
		
00:21:00 --> 00:21:02
			make bad choices. So our job is to
		
00:21:02 --> 00:21:04
			help guide them and build that ability
		
00:21:05 --> 00:21:08
			to make the right choices. So allow them
		
00:21:08 --> 00:21:09
			to make some choices.
		
00:21:09 --> 00:21:12
			Okay? Within defined areas, allow them allow them
		
00:21:12 --> 00:21:14
			to have their say and to make some
		
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			choices, especially as they grow older.
		
00:21:18 --> 00:21:20
			Ask for ask for their opinion and respect
		
00:21:20 --> 00:21:22
			it. Right? You don't necessarily have to agree
		
00:21:22 --> 00:21:23
			with it, but you can talk about things,
		
00:21:23 --> 00:21:25
			and you can respect their opinions
		
00:21:25 --> 00:21:27
			and respect their privacy.
		
00:21:27 --> 00:21:30
			You know, sometimes tough love is needed. I
		
00:21:30 --> 00:21:31
			understand. Right?
		
00:21:31 --> 00:21:33
			It it's needed. You need to be tough
		
00:21:33 --> 00:21:33
			sometimes.
		
00:21:35 --> 00:21:37
			But always balance it out with gentle love
		
00:21:37 --> 00:21:39
			as well. Don't just be tough tough tough
		
00:21:39 --> 00:21:41
			tough tough. That is what breaks children.
		
00:21:41 --> 00:21:43
			That is what breaks their mental health. Don't
		
00:21:43 --> 00:21:45
			be just tough all the time and just
		
00:21:45 --> 00:21:47
			be strict and because your parents raised you
		
00:21:47 --> 00:21:48
			that way. That does not work.
		
00:21:49 --> 00:21:52
			That does not work. Okay? So be tough
		
00:21:52 --> 00:21:54
			if you need to sometimes, but balance it
		
00:21:54 --> 00:21:57
			out with even more gentle love.
		
00:21:58 --> 00:22:01
			Expression of love and kisses and, you know,
		
00:22:01 --> 00:22:02
			expressions of love like kisses and hugs are
		
00:22:02 --> 00:22:05
			important, not just when children are young, but
		
00:22:05 --> 00:22:07
			also when in their teens. And they're gonna
		
00:22:07 --> 00:22:08
			act like they don't like it and they
		
00:22:08 --> 00:22:10
			don't want it. But believe me, they need
		
00:22:10 --> 00:22:12
			it. And one of the biggest mistakes that
		
00:22:12 --> 00:22:15
			parents make is treating their teens as they
		
00:22:15 --> 00:22:16
			treated them when they were young children.
		
00:22:17 --> 00:22:20
			Our parenting needs to grow and adapt to
		
00:22:20 --> 00:22:21
			the growth of our children.
		
00:22:21 --> 00:22:24
			Right? So you can't treat someone who's 16
		
00:22:24 --> 00:22:25
			or 18 years old, even 20 years old.
		
00:22:25 --> 00:22:28
			Somehow, I see that sometimes. When parents are
		
00:22:28 --> 00:22:30
			treating their 20 year old child the way
		
00:22:30 --> 00:22:31
			they treated them when they were 7 years
		
00:22:31 --> 00:22:34
			old, it's not gonna work. That is not
		
00:22:34 --> 00:22:37
			going to work. Okay? So our parenting has
		
00:22:37 --> 00:22:38
			to adapt
		
00:22:38 --> 00:22:40
			as our children grow.
		
00:22:41 --> 00:22:42
			And
		
00:22:42 --> 00:22:45
			as I mentioned, love. Understand the importance of
		
00:22:45 --> 00:22:48
			gentleness. Because Aisha related that the prophet
		
00:22:49 --> 00:22:50
			said
		
00:22:51 --> 00:22:52
			the prophet said that
		
00:23:00 --> 00:23:02
			That verily gentleness is not founding is not
		
00:23:02 --> 00:23:04
			found in anything,
		
00:23:05 --> 00:23:07
			but that it beautifies it. And it is
		
00:23:07 --> 00:23:10
			not removed from anything, but that it disgraces
		
00:23:10 --> 00:23:13
			it. So if you're parenting without gentleness,
		
00:23:13 --> 00:23:15
			it is not going to lead to any
		
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			positive or good outcome. May Allah make it
		
00:23:18 --> 00:23:20
			easy for us because it is not easy
		
00:23:20 --> 00:23:20
			to parent
		
00:23:21 --> 00:23:23
			and to be parents during this age. May
		
00:23:23 --> 00:23:25
			Allah make it easy for us. So that's
		
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			number 1. Number 2,
		
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			strong and stable family life. There was probably
		
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			nothing as destructive to a child and youth
		
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			and a youth's mental health than a chaotic
		
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			or a broken home. Now I know many
		
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			times this is not in our control, and
		
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			I'm not pinning blame on anyone who does
		
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			not have control over the situation. But when
		
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			you do have control over the situation, Umer,
		
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			you do have a role, a say in
		
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			the situation,
		
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			please do not create problems in your family
		
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			due to petty issues or because of your
		
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			own desires.
		
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			I'm not at all suggesting
		
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			that woman mothers should not get help or
		
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			wives should not get help in cases of
		
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			domestic violence. But what I am suggesting
		
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			is for the perpetrators
		
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			of domestic violence and those who contribute to
		
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			it to stop,
		
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			if not out of love and concern for
		
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			one another, then at least for the well-being
		
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			of the children.
		
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			Our children, our youth need both parents that
		
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			are loving
		
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			and supportive.
		
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			So spend time together.
		
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			Do some activities together. Play some games together.
		
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			Have dinner together at least.
		
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			Attend programs. If you notice, one of our
		
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			focuses is just on families. We try to
		
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			do everything for families
		
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			because we want to create an environment that
		
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			fosters togetherness of families, that fosters love and
		
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			unity between family members. We don't want to
		
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			compartmentalize and separate all family members because family
		
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			members need one another. Our children and our
		
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			youth need healthy and stable families.
		
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			But at the same time, of course, give
		
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			some independence too.
		
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			Because boys,
		
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			you know, give some independence so that, you
		
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			know, they are able to socialize amongst their
		
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			peers and and those who who are like
		
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			them. And remember that boys,
		
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			very, very important, they need positive male role
		
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			models. And, of course, girls also need positive
		
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			female role models as well.
		
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			Number 3, my brothers and sisters, is keep
		
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			them engaged.
		
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			Most of the trouble starts when there's too
		
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			much free time. And, subhanallah, I've had youth
		
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			tell me this themselves
		
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			crying.
		
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			Bless them. In the public high school. You
		
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			know, I was actually there for something else.
		
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			I was leaving. They actually stopped me. They
		
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			said, Sheikh, can we talk to you for
		
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			a few minutes? I was in the guidance
		
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			office. And the vice principal said, sure. There's
		
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			a room right there. Go ahead and talk.
		
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			And this is sheikh. We know what is
		
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			right or wrong. We know what is right
		
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			or wrong. When we're with our families, with
		
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			our parents, they take us to the masjid.
		
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			We recite Quran. We offer salah. We do
		
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			all those things. We know. But when we're
		
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			with our friends and school ends at 2:30,
		
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			2:45, 3 o'clock, there's way too much free
		
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			time, and that is when we get into
		
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			trouble because we don't have any outlets. We
		
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			hang up with our friends and trouble starts.
		
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			They said it themselves.
		
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			So most of the trouble starts when there
		
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			is too much free time. So support your
		
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			children in building a passion or interest early
		
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			on, whether it is sports, whether it is
		
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			martial arts, whether it is baking or academics
		
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			or, you know, extracurriculars or deen or memorizing
		
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			the Quran, whatever it is. If there's nothing,
		
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			then something else will take its place, and
		
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			it may not be positive.
		
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			Empty mind, as the saying goes, is devil's
		
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			workshop.
		
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			So please try to keep children engaged. Try
		
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			to keep youth busy in something positive. And
		
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			as we open up, we will also try
		
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			to increase our programming so that we can
		
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			offer something that is regular for all of
		
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			our youth and our children.
		
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			And finally, my brothers and sisters, know that
		
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			our wealth and our children is our trial
		
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			from Allah.
		
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			Allah says,
		
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			Your wealth and children are only a test,
		
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			but Allah alone has a great reward. So
		
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			go through this.
		
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			Try your best with the best of intentions.
		
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			Try to learn and adapt your parenting, and
		
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			try to to to do things in the
		
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			best way possible.
		
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			Remember that the worst of people have had
		
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			children that Allah guided. And the best of
		
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			people, including the prophets, some of the prophets
		
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			have had children who have become misguided. Okay?
		
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			So in the end, we try our best.
		
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			Right? Most important job for us is to
		
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			build a solid foundation.
		
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			I still remember it many years ago when
		
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			I was studying, youth worker from Montreal on
		
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			CBC Radio many, many years ago. Words still
		
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			resonate in my mind. It said along the
		
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			lines of this to the effect that most
		
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			youth will make mistakes and lose their way.
		
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			But it's the ones who have a foundation
		
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			that will bounce back once they snap out
		
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			of it. So they will snap out of
		
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			it. And when they snap out of it,
		
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			that foundation that you have built,
		
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			that is what will
		
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			help them and save them. And the ones
		
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			with no foundation will have nothing to fall
		
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			back on. So my brothers and sisters, try
		
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			your best. Try your best sincerely. Make dua
		
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			to Allah
		
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			and
		
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			leave for Allah the rest.
		
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			Let us make dua.
		
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			Oh,
		
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			Allah. Oh, Allah. Please protect our children.
		
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			Oh, Allah. Please protect our youth from all
		
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			types of evils and destruction.
		
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			Oh, Allah. Please guide us. Oh, Allah. Please
		
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			especially guide our youth, our children, and protect
		
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			our
		
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			iman. Oh, Allah. Please guide us all, especially
		
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			our youth and our children, to that which
		
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			pleases you most.
		
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			Oh, Allah. Please grant us all the best
		
00:29:03 --> 00:29:05
			return to you whenever it has been decreed
		
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			for us.
		
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			Oh, Allah. Please cure all of our brothers
		
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			and sisters who are ill, oh, Allah. Whether
		
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			they are physically ill, oh, Allah. Whether they
		
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			are mentally ill, oh, Allah. Whether they are
		
00:29:15 --> 00:29:18
			spiritually ill, oh, Allah. Especially our elder sister
		
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			who is living in pain, oh, Allah. Our
		
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			brothers and sisters, our brother and sister who
		
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			are suffering from long term pain and injuries.
		
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			Oh, Allah, all of those who are ill,
		
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			who are at risk of becoming ill. Oh,
		
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			Allah, our brother Sa'ud Alam in his battle
		
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			against cancer. Oh, Allah, please strengthen all of
		
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			them You Rabbil Alameen. Oh, Allah. Please cure
		
00:29:34 --> 00:29:36
			all of them You Rabbil Alameen.
		
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			Oh, Allah. You are the protector. Oh, Allah.
		
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			You are the healer. Oh, Allah. You are
		
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			the cure. Oh, Allah. Please grant them all
		
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			his speedy recovery. Oh, Allah. Please protect them
		
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			and all of us from all types of
		
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			illnesses and pain and suffering, You Rabbil Alameen.
		
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			Oh, Allah, please grant relief. Oh, Allah, please
		
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			grant relief to all of those who are
		
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			in pain. Oh, Allah, all of those who
		
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			are in grief.
		
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			Oh, Allah, all of those stress and facing
		
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			anxiety, o Allah, please replace it with happiness
		
00:30:01 --> 00:30:04
			and peace and joy, You Rabbal Alameen. O
		
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			Allah, please grant peace and love and unity
		
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			to all of our families and all of
		
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			our households, You Rabbal Alameen. O Allah, our
		
00:30:10 --> 00:30:12
			children, o Allah, our youth who are looking
		
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			to get married and not able to find
		
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			suitable spouses, oh Allah, please grant them suitable
		
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			and the best spouses for them, You Rabbal
		
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			Alameen. Oh Allah, our families that are struggling
		
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			amongst themselves, oh Allah, who are lacking love
		
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			and unity, oh Allah, please remove all of
		
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			their ill feelings and grant them peace and
		
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			love and unity You Rabbal Alameen. Oh Allah,
		
00:30:31 --> 00:30:32
			all of the parents who are struggling with
		
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			their children. Oh Allah, all of their youth
		
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			who are struggling. All of the youth who
		
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			are struggling with their families and their friends
		
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			and their peers. Oh Allah, please grant them
		
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			all goodness,
		
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			unity and peace and love with goodness, You
		
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			Rabbil Alameen. Oh, Allah. Please protect and grant
		
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			justice to all of those who are oppressed,
		
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			You Rabbil Alameen. Oh, Allah. Especially our Palestinian
		
00:30:50 --> 00:30:52
			brothers and sisters. Oh, Allah. All of our
		
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			brothers and sisters around the world. Oh, Allah.
		
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			And the indigenous people of this land. Oh,
		
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			Allah. Please grant them justice.
		
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			Oh, Allah. Please remove the ill effects of
		
00:31:01 --> 00:31:02
			injustice from them.
		
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			May Allah bless you all. Please go ahead,
		
00:34:22 --> 00:34:24
			offer 4 regards of the word prayer at
		
00:34:24 --> 00:34:25
			home. May Allah
		
00:34:25 --> 00:34:28
			protect you always. May Allah always protect your
		
00:34:28 --> 00:34:29
			future generations till the day of judgment.
		
00:34:31 --> 00:34:33
			We'll see you tonight, 9:30 PM, Friday family
		
00:34:33 --> 00:34:34
			night live,
		
00:34:35 --> 00:34:37
			special discussion with doctor Khaled Bazeid,
		
00:34:38 --> 00:34:39
			a child as adolescent
		
00:34:39 --> 00:34:40
			psychiatrist
		
00:34:40 --> 00:34:42
			regarding our youth and the issue of gangs
		
00:34:42 --> 00:34:44
			and all of these issues that are on
		
00:34:44 --> 00:34:46
			our minds at this point. And, of course,
		
00:34:46 --> 00:34:48
			like I said, remember to fill out the
		
00:34:48 --> 00:34:49
			quiz. Gradamustlums.ca/quiz
		
00:34:50 --> 00:34:52
			by 6 PM today to qualify for the
		
00:34:52 --> 00:34:53
			draw that we will do tonight,
		
00:34:54 --> 00:34:56
			the prize draw. Look forward to seeing you
		
00:34:56 --> 00:34:56
			soon.