Sikander Hashmi – Keeping Differences Healthy KMA Friday Message
AI: Summary ©
The speakers stress the importance of unity and peace in religion, avoiding disagreements and jeopardizing one's reputation. They advise against stereotype and over-earning, avoiding disagreements, and not to allow others to make judgments. The speakers also stress the importance of trusting others and not arguing, and provide advice on managing one's emotions and values.
AI: Summary ©
We begin by thanking and praising Allah
the lord of the universe, our creator, our
sustainer,
our protector, our nourisher,
and by sending peace and salutations upon his
beloved and final messenger,
Muhammad, the son of Abdullah
Last week, my brothers and sisters,
we discussed
the importance of consultation.
We talked about the Islamic principle of shura,
of consulting
stakeholders
with regards to
mutual
affairs.
When we do consultation,
right, when we ask others for their opinion,
when we ask people for their opinion regarding
a matter,
it comes
with the assumption the premise
That there may be different opinions on a
matter.
On that matter.
Otherwise, what is the point of doing consultation?
If everyone's going to have the same opinion
or if everyone is supposed to have the
same opinion,
then there's no point of consultation.
Right? So the fact that they are supposed
to consult
on matters means that there it may be
the possibility
that people have different opinions on a matter.
The reality is Allah
has created each one of us differently.
Each person
is different, is unique.
Each person has their own thinking
and has their own perspective,
which is oftentimes formed by our lived experiences
and our personalities,
which differ. Right? Otherwise, everyone would be the
same, would behave in the same way, would
think the same.
And
in some ways, if you think about it,
things would get a little boring.
Right? Because there will be no diversity of
opinions.
So this is always the case,
but it becomes even more visible
when there is
a major
or serious decision
to be made
or an important matter to discuss
which people are passionate about. So, for example,
like during an election campaign
or when we are talking about, you
know, certain issues which
people have very strong views about. Right? For
example,
vaccines for some people.
Because there are so many factors to consider,
we must remember
that others
may not be focusing on the same factors
that we are focusing on when they are
making their choice, when they are making their
decision.
As individuals, we think a certain way. Everyone
has their own way of thinking of processing
information of coming to a decision.
But it's not necessary that everyone else, even
members of your own family, for that matter,
are thinking the same way.
Right? So one aspect
may affect one person
more than the other.
And for them, that might be the deciding
factor.
Some issue that you are not thinking about.
Another person may have
different priorities
because they have different circumstances,
or they have experienced different things than you.
Because of which, they may not place the
same importance on an issue
That another person or another group does.
So you may look at another person. It
could be a family member. It could be
a friend.
It could be a neighbor, a colleague.
And say
How could you have such a position?
How could you support such a position or
in the case of an election?
How could you support such a candidate or
such a party?
But the reality is
That that person
isn't necessarily seeing things the way you are.
So what impacts them
and what affects them is perhaps different
than what impacts you and affects you. Or
perhaps they have a different approach
than you.
Therefore therefore,
we know that people, when it comes to
choices in life,
will choose differently.
People will make different choices.
And this is something that we must accept
and not make it personal, my brothers and
sisters. So you can still be a brother.
You can still be a sister.
You can still be a neighbor and friend,
even with
different views and different
opinions.
Right? And this is one of the things
that
we come across from a religious point of
view as well.
When people think that
unity, which there's a great emphasis on in
our religion, in our deen,
means uniformity.
And they try to get rid of all
the differences in fiqh.
And they try to just bring everyone together
to agree
together on one thing, on every sing you
know, on have one position or one perspective
on every single issue.
And it's a futile effort because it's not
gonna happen.
It's not gonna happen, especially as time goes
on, especially as new issues arise, especially as
matters become more complex.
It's not going to be possible to have
everyone to agree on every single issue.
So it is natural. Same thing in our
families as well.
You know?
Husband, wife,
children. Right? It's not necessary that everyone has
the same
likes and dislikes. And everyone, you know, has
absolutely the same thinking and the same approach
for everything. Yes. On the major matters, it
is important. The fundamental matters, it is important.
When it comes to our deen, it is
critical of course. The fundamental matters are non
negotiable.
But then there are many, many secondary
matters. Right? And then there are matters which
are not even
directly or even indirectly related to religion.
Right? There are matters where we are allowed
to make our own free choice.
So therefore, my brothers and sisters, it is
important
not to stereotype
and assume how a person is
just because
they are
supporting one over the other.
So don't define people by their choices and
especially when it comes
to their political choices. This is within our
community. This is with our neighbors.
This is with our colleagues,
with strangers
in our community and across this country.
As believers,
we should not enjoy
or participate in these rifts,
but our hearts
should be saddened,
Should be pained to see
when there are rifts.
When there are differences
that
end up getting
to the heart. And we should desire unification
and peace.
What should we desire? We should be
people who desire
unity,
who desire peace, who desire good relations
amongst everyone.
Because sometimes, you know, people have this personality
where they enjoy seeing discord.
Where they enjoy
seeing people fighting.
Where they enjoy
seeing families break apart. Where they enjoy communities
break apart.
We should not be from such people, my
brothers and sisters. We should be people who
like to bring people together. We should be
people
who are always striving to bring
people together, whether they are family members, whether
they are our fellow brothers and sisters in
faith, or neighbors,
or anyone in society.
Allah
tells us in the Quran, Quran.
So fear Allah,
and adjust all matters of difference amongst you,
and obey Allah and his messenger
if you are believers. So Allah
instructs us
to rectify our relations, to rectify our affairs,
to overcome
such challenges
and differences. And the prophet
has given many warnings regarding this. First of
all, to have such rifts
is not befitting for the believer. Yes. It
is okay to have differences.
It is okay to have different viewpoints.
But that difference should not start
touching affecting the heart. It should not permeate
into one's
heart. The prophet
said,
Do not harbor grudges against one another.
Do not harbor jealousy against one another. Do
not harbor enmity against one another.
And do not show your backs to one
another,
and become as fellow brothers, and of course
sisters,
as servants
of Allah. So the Prophet
has reminded us of
the focus which should be that we are
all
We are all the servants of Allah
And that is what
matters.
Right? The other things,
we may have differences, and that's okay. We
should not be falling into
having developing grudges or jealousy, enmity, hatred,
and turning away from one another.
We understand, of course, all of us, the
seriousness of shedding blood,
of murder. And we would never think of
doing such a thing, of taking an innocent
life. The prophet
said that,
That whoever forsakes
his brother or his sister,
or
forsakes his brother, her brother, her sister, for
a year, it is as if
he has shed his blood.
So forsaking our brothers and sisters
is
like
tantamount to actually shedding their
blood.
And of course, there's the hadith of the
Prophet
prohibiting,
turning away from your brother or sister
in faith
for more than 3 days. Yes, there may
be some upset, there may be some disagreement,
there may be some offense which was caused,
but it should not
have an effect for more than 3 days.
At that point, then it is obligatory
to at least make salaam, at least to
get back on talking terms. You don't have
to become necessarily best friends.
You don't have to be on the best
of terms.
But
to continue to shun another person for more
than 3 days is something which is impermissible.
And this holding of grudges against one another
is not only prohibited,
but can also affect forgiveness of our sins
as well. Because the prophet
said,
that, The gates of Jannah are opened on
Monday Thursday.
And everyone who does not associate partners, or
does not associate anything with Allah
is forgiven,
except
one, except one who has an argument,
except
except a man. Of course, it applies to
a woman as well, except a man who
has had an argument with his brother. It
is
said what is said?
That,
that wait.
Wait until these 2 have reconciled,
or wait for these 2
until they reconcile.
Wait for these 2 until they reconcile. Wait
for these 2 until they reconcile. Meaning
that their forgiveness from Allah
And who does not want to be forgiven
by Allah
Of course, everyone wants to be forgiven by
Allah.
So the forgiveness of Allah
is paused, it is on hold,
until
the 2 have reconciled.
Imam An Naw
said that wait for these 2 means, wait
until they have reconciled,
and love has been restored between them.
Now, my brothers and sisters, let's
Briefly look at some etiquette
of disagreement that, yes, our religion, our dean
is so comprehensive
that we are taught how to disagree with
one another as well. This is also part
of the teachings of our religion, a reminder
for myself first and all of us.
So for starters, as we have discussed, we
should try to avoid disagreements.
We should try to avoid disagreements, though we
have the right to disagree when there is
a valid reason for doing so.
Yes. We can disagree
when there is a valid reason for doing
so.
Right? Allah
tells
us that
when it comes to the decisions of Allah
and His Messenger
then there is no room to disagree for
the believer.
Then,
in those matters, there is no room to
disagree for the believers because
the decision, the guidance, the verdict of Allah
and his messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam
are final.
What are they? They are final.
But in other matters,
especially matters which are not directly related
to our religion or to the guidance of
Allah and his messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam,
there can be disagreement.
Now, everyone in disagreement should believe and this
by the way, religious matters as well, so
scholars,
they would also live by this as
well. Everyone in a disagreement should believe
that there is the chance, the possibility
that the other could be correct
and that I could be wrong?
It is possible because
nobody has complete foresight.
Nobody has complete knowledge. Only Allah
has complete knowledge.
Only Allah
has complete wisdom
and understanding of what the future holds.
So, yes. We use our intellect which Allah
has given us. We use
the tools, the senses that Allah
has given us, the resources that Allah has
made available for us, and we try to
come to the best decision.
But as for what the future holds, and
how things are gonna play out, and what
is actually gonna happen, nobody really knows. Only
Allah
knows. So,
we should always keep in mind that whatever
position we take, it is possible that we
might end up being wrong and the others
might be correct or they may be closer
to the truth or their opinion may be
better.
Listen to the opinions of others carefully with
an open mind.
Avoid
interrupting others
while they are speaking or while they are
sharing their perspective.
And finally, give others enough time to express
their opinions,
their views.
Sometimes, if a issue is very loaded
sometimes, if a issue is very loaded or
it is, you know, people are very passionate
about it,
It can be difficult
to handle,
to process the fact that somebody has a
different opinion because
you have looked at it from a certain
perspective, and you have entrenched become entrenched in
your view, your opinion,
and all others
have been dismissed, meaning all other opinions or
possibilities have been dismissed because you feel the
issue is so important and you have completely
bought into it.
Right? So restrain
yourself from accusing others of
different things, like being
deviance or corrupt or other types of accusations.
Instead, what are we taught to do? We
are taught to believe
at the faces.
Right? At face, we're supposed to take or
or believe face value unless there is something
or take things at face value unless there
is something to prove otherwise.
Right? So we should start off with the
assumption
that people are good and they are sincere
in their opinions. This should be the starting
point.
That the person who has a different opinion,
it's not because they are corrupt, or it's
not because they have some other interest, but
no, we should believe that people are good
and sincere in their opinions. Give them the
benefit of the doubt.
Give them the benefit
of the doubt too many times. We start
off with the assumption
of
having a doubt. We start off with doubt.
Allah tells us,
Right? Allah
tells us
to stay away
from assumptions,
to stay away from
making judgments.
Right? Unless there's something to back it up.
So give people the benefit of the doubt.
Give your brothers and sisters the benefit of
the doubt. Give your neighbors the benefit of
the doubt. If they are saying something or,
you know, have a position which you do
not agree with.
You talk, you discuss. If no agreement is
reached,
then all parties should respect each other's opinions.
And give the other an excuse. We have
the famous teaching
in our deen of finding 70 excuses.
If somebody does something wrong, finding 70 excuses.
So same thing here, somebody holds the position,
make an excuse for them, find an excuse
for them that perhaps it is such, perhaps
they have misunderstood,
perhaps
they have heard something different, perhaps they know
more about this issue, perhaps they know less
about this issue. Try to give them the
benefit of the doubt,
and do not continue arguing.
Do not continue
arguing. Because the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alaihi
wasallam said, that I guarantee
a house
in the surroundings of paradise of Jannah
for a for the one who avoids quarreling
even if he or
she were in the right. Somebody who gives
up arguing.
Somebody who gives up
arguing, gives up a debate,
even if they are in the right. So
yes, a person knows, they believe
that they are correct.
What they are saying is true. It's
But they give it up because they don't
want to continue
the argument.
Prophet
said, I guarantee
So guarantee a house in the surroundings of
Jannah for the one who avoids quarreling even
if you're in the right. A house in
the middle of Jannah for the one who
avoids lying
even if they were joking.
Even if they are joking. So humor is
something which is allowed in our religion. There's
nothing wrong with
being humorous and making people laugh. The Prophet
will crack jokes from time to time. He
would have a sense of humor.
Not always, you know, but sometimes with his
companions when things are light.
But never lying when it comes to joking.
Never making up stories to make people laugh.
Right? Never making up situations or jokes.
So, the prophet said, A house in the
middle of jannah for the one who avoids
lying, even if they are joking.
And a house in the upper part of
jannah
for the one who made
his or her character good. A person who
has good
makes their character good. The Prophet
said, Guarantee a house in the upper part
of jannah for such a person.
So brothers and sisters,
we have forgiveness
tied to not holding grudges. We have Jannah,
or getting a house in Jannah,
tied to giving up, you know, arguments
and debates.
So let us try to act upon these
teachings, especially when things get hot.
Do not attack people by calling them hard
headed or saying that they have bad intentions.
Right? This is not appropriate.
Some people will just have different views, and
they will not change their opinions no matter
what.
There are people like that, right? You're never
gonna be able to convince them.
Right? No matter how much you try, they
believe in their position, they're not gonna change.
Okay? So try to work together and build
upon the things that you do agree upon.
Instead of focusing on what you disagree on,
focus on what you actually agree upon.
And try to move things for the better.
Imagine how much good just imagine.
How much good we as individuals
as communities
as leaders.
As politicians
could do if we could work together
with others
on whatever we agree upon
instead of being focused on our disagreements.
People have different approaches. Yes. We just discussed
that.
Okay? But if we can agree on certain
things,
that, Yes. This is important, and this is
the way we should do it, or we
can come to an agreement if we talk,
many times there's no willingness to talk even.
Right? Because
it is in our self interest to actually
not talk and cooperate.
Okay? But if we actually try to cooperate,
and try to find agreement, and try to
find solutions together, imagine how much good we
would be able to accomplish.
So we ask Allah
to guide us all towards that which is
best and closest to the truth. We ask
Allah
to unite our hearts regardless of our disagreements.
May Allah
make us people of mutual love and respect.
May He make us those who continue to
strive for goodness and truth until their last
breath.
My brothers and sisters, as you know, the
election, is this the the federal election, the
44th federal election is this Monday, September 20th
As we've said many times before, if you're
eligible to vote, then please make sure that
you do vote.
We never tell you which party to vote
for. We are completely nonpartisan,
so you have to make the choice. The
candidates for Clarendon are outside. We have invited
them so you can meet them and talk
to them and share your concerns, share your
views. You make the decision. I'm not gonna
tell you how to vote. That is not
my job, but just make sure that you
vote. Because as I've said before,
the candidates, the parties are able to see
who has voted. Not who you have voted
for, but they're able to see whether you
voted or not.
If you do not vote, then that means
that you're not interested.
And they don't need to think about you
and care about you. But if your name
is there, the Muslim names are there, the
Muslim community is visible and active and engaged,
as we are trying to be,
then
they have to pay attention.
We welcome them all here. Right? This is,
our,
our, pleasure to invite them and to have
them give you the opportunity to meet them.
So please do talk if you have a
chance afterwards and share your views, your concerns
at the very least, say hi and welcome
them, to our Masjid.
We ask Allah
to grant us leaders who are fair,
who are just,
who are honest,
and sincere,
and compassionate. May Allah
guide our leaders
towards that
towards all that which is good
for us and for all people.
You Allah, we ask you to cure all
our brothers and sisters who are ill.
Especially our elder sister, Rabiya Khan, our brother
Sa'ud Alam, and all of those whose health
is struggling, who are struggling with bad health,
physically, mentally, or emotionally,
Please grant them
Please grant them a speedy and complete recovery.
You Allah, we ask you to grant ease
to all of those who are suffering,
to remove their difficulties,
and to replace
pain and fear with joy and peace and
contentment.