Sajid Ahmed Umar – Parenting and the 21st Century (Session 1)
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smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah while he also he also limited Sleeman kathira Eli hometeam Am I bad? rubbish? Oh, he said recently Emery melissani they are.
All praises belong to Allah subhanho wa Taala. We praise Him we seek his assistance and we seek His forgiveness. And we seek refuge in Allah subhanho wa Taala from the evil of our souls and the adverse consequences of our deeds, whom serve Allah subhanho wa Taala decrees guidance upon the man can misguide him, and will serve Allah subhanho wa Taala decrease misguidance upon the man can guide him and peace and salutations be upon the final messenger Muhammad Ali Abdullah Saleh alayhi wa sallam as a witness that there is no one worthy of worship besides one Allah, and that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam is His Messenger. Dear brothers and sisters in Islam, I greet you with
the greetings of Islam, the greetings of peace and a greeting which is a Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu
Baraka lo fi comm for this particular opportunity, indeed, it's always a blessing from Allah subhanho wa Taala. When any opportunity is given, to teach from the inheritance of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam it's, it's not about a local stage or an international stage at the end of the day, whatever one teaches from that left behind by Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is a sitting in front of Allah subhanho wa Taala that's the reality whether we have a person attending, or many people attending, these matters are irrelevant, because they're our and inviting to Allah subhanho wa Taala is an act of worship. And all acts of worship have to be only for Allah subhanho
wa Taala alone. And that is the fundamental lesson when we say la ilaha illAllah that there is no one worthy of worship besides one of law, that everything which is worship, it only can be for Allah subhanho wa Taala alone. It's not for any name or fame for any status.
It should only be for Allah subhanho wa Taala. So whether we are on an international stage or a local stage, the reality is a person is in front of Allah subhanho wa Taala and, and that is all that matters because he's the creator of everything in creation, and he is the king of kings and the Lord of the worlds. So, if Allah inspires a gathering such as this, then indeed we must begin by praising Allah subhanho wa Taala. For as our pious predecessors before would say, either our other level because you hate
that if Allah wants goodness for you, Allah inspires a situation for you to participate in and be part of so that you can earn the rewards that Allah sets for those who participate in those activities. There's many people who
would have learned about this gathering today, but they're not present. And there's some who perhaps learned about it at the last minute, and they are present must understand that this is from Allah subhanho wa Taala. And to give you a closer example, then, consider your situation when you intend to give charity sometimes you want to give charity, but you don't find the poor person to give that charity to. Sometimes you see a poor person, but you don't have the change in your pocket to give the charity and sometimes you have the change and the poor person is in your path and you don't even realize it.
And you continue your day without having practiced that charity. So, yes, we have a choice in that which we do but we must understand that everything happens because of the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So everyone here must know that Allah wanted to reward you the rewards of those who sit in those gatherings dedicated towards the sharing of the inheritance of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he wanted to reward you the rewards of those who do this best. He inspired you to be here inspired this events from the outset we praise Allah subhanho wa Taala. And to be most completing thanks, we thank the people as well, who are a means of this event. Being a reality I win, as well
as movie night Ibrahim primary school may Allah subhanho wa Taala reward everyone involved and accept from them and increase for them. I mean,
this particular sitting is much shorter than the one we had last year. Last year, we had the longest sitting from early in the morning till salata, mohareb.
And that was a full day workshop dedicated towards productivity. And we titled it seeds of change. This is just a very short
program in the space of three hours or so dedicated towards parenting, and its importance. And this particular topic is a long one, one workshop two workshops a few hours,
or even a few days doesn't do justice to the topic. Because parenting is an art and an art always evolves. And an art is relevant to place and space and time. And we learned this from our pious predecessors as well. You know, parenting in Zimbabwe is different to parenting in the UK or parenting in Australia, the challenges are different. The triggers are different.
The phenomenons that affect our children are different. So no doubt one workshop or a few will not offer any diligence to the topic. As I said, it's an art and an art evolves with time. And an art is always relevant to space and and place but nonetheless the Arabic saying says mela Dracula Dracula, that that which cannot be done in its entirety should not be left out in its entirety. And the reason why this topic has been cited even though we have these few hours together is because Islam has given and set a great precedence to parenting. It has set a great rewards or set great rewards rather, for those who are diligent with their parents and look after their parents and respect their
parents and Islam has cited this being disrespectful to one's parents as a major sin. Right. So from an abstract perspective, we learn from this how important raising children is because children who are raised well will engage this great act of event and worship in looking after their parents. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said I'm into a drought of gibreel Allahi Salaam, and that they have jabril stated that curse be upon the person, right? curse be upon the person who meets or is blessed to have their parents with them in old age, and they fail to earn paradise as a result to this Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said me, right? So if the Sherry that is so big on
tawheed and matters of worship,
sets a whole section of it dedicated towards
you know, being dutiful to one's parents and the fact that there's great rewards for it. And Allah mentions reward after reward and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam teaches us to reward after reward with regards to being good to your parents. And then in contrast, we have all the evidences that warn us against being disrespectful and the since we're being disrespectful, and the punishment for being disrespectful, this from the outset should make us understand it's a great act of worship, and who teaches our children worship better than their parents after Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam so it falls under the context of parenting also brothers and sisters why this topic is
relevant. And we'll discuss more but just to introduce it is because the Sharia has cited our children as not just our future, but also as our today. But in terms of them being our future. Then Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taught us that when the son of Adam dies, then there's no way for him or her to earn rewards after they pass away except from three avenues. The First Avenue is sort of cottage area, or continuous charity that which you did before you passed away, which continued to benefit people. So a lot of you will do for this charity and the second way is
Through good teachings which you taught people, and they implemented your teachings after you passed away, like Allah's mercy mandates that allow will reward us for everyone who practiced those teachings after we passed away. And we can only imagine that he was of Rasulullah, sallallahu alayhi wasallam, because he's the first teacher, right? And generations after him put into practice that which he taught. And the third way for us to earn rewards after we pass away, as cited by Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi. wasallam is a pious Child Left Behind who makes dua for his or her parents, right. So just from this Hadeeth, we understand why we need to be good parents, you know, our
salvation requires it. You know, I was in Australia
during these past weeks, and one of the lessons I shared in my seminars was something or this neuro associative conditioning, it's a it's a theory, designed by a person known as Anthony Robbins is a life coach from America. And
it's become popular with people who want to implement change, and bring about good habits in their lives, and so on and so forth. And are sort of tying it to the teachings of Rasulullah, sallAllahu, alayhi wasallam, that the reality is Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam taught us this before, anyway, you can Google it, it's called NAC. Anthony Robbins, if you just make a note, and you can read up on it, the six steps towards conditioning yourself and creating positive change in your life. And the crux of this theory is that a person creates a sense of urgency, or sort of this person sort of pondering over the habit they want to bring about, and ponder over it in a in a
particular way. that entails urgency that they feel desperate, right? to sort of bring this thing into their life. So they understand it in such a way that creates urgency, because human beings by default act when something becomes urgent, right. And last year, we discussed this in time management. For those who attended the seeds of changing we said, This is what I do for a Muslim, a Muslim is a person who always has important things in their day, but they never let important things become urgent, right. But we see by you know, human nature through you look at the Masters, we always study for our exams at the last minute, we always, you know, sorting out those assignments at
the last minute when there's less time left we we sort of implement ourselves and and get through it. So
when we sort of consider this theory and consider what we're talking about now, and why we need to talk about parenting, if we just look at this last Hadeeth that I cited, right? When you think about that some hangover after I die, there's no solid, there's no zecca there's no hedge, there's no fasting, and I might be under the ground far longer than I was on top of the ground. And let's be honest, I think we know of people who have passed away for hundreds of years when they lived for 50 or 60 years. Right? So they've been under the ground far longer than they've been on top of the ground. And when you think of this, and you say so Pamela, how can I engender after I pass away and
one of those ways is by leaving behind the pious child who lives draft for you. I think this creates a sense of urgency, right within us and we feel the desperate need to wake up and be parents and better parents, right.
And this is what life is all about is about pondering and reflecting. It's not about just living within the moment and going through the motions. Because seconds will take and minutes will take over. And ours will take over and then we'll end up dying. No, there's there's there's a life after death. Right? So these topics come to mind and become relevant when we look at things in this particular way. I'm sure many people are many a person saw the advert and said well parenting my children. Oh, now.
You know, I'm done being a parent or somebody saw it and say, Well, I know much about parenting. But the reality is we cannot learn enough and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam throughout 23 years of his prophethood was teaching us to be better parents. He never sort of said well, I taught this to them in the first year or second year or 30 of my of my profit of being a profit. And now it's not relevant. No, it was always relevant because the first part of his profit would was in Mecca. The second part of his prophethood was in Medina. And each circumstance and situation had different intricacies and anomalies and influences and abstract matters attached to the timeframe that he was
living in some Allahu Allah, he was dealing with these people. So he was constantly giving advice. He was constantly passing fatwa, and teaching them matters of parenting depending on situation. So all these sort of highlight for us the importance of this topic.
Also, brothers and sisters, you know, from those matters, that creates urgency and teaches us that, you know, we really need to look at our peril
And better is the fact that if you do so, are you following the command of Allah subhanho wa Taala? Because Allah says in his book Yeah, you are loving the M and o qu and fusa Kumar alikum. Now, right in Surah, to him in the 66th surah and the sixth ayah. For those who are taking notes, Allah says, Oh, you who believe protect yourselves and your families from the hellfire. This is a command, go and full circle protect yourselves, you are being commanded to do this, which means that we will be questioned on the day of day ama, about this because Allah will question us about all commands. So last question, as you know, regarding this, that you were commanded to protect yourself, and your
family's from the hellfire. And there's going to be a series of events that allow the question is about related to this command, whether we were diligent with it or whether we we lacked diligence with it, right, this is a command. Allah says in his book what
it was salam, Iranian lenise Allah corresponds
to the taqwa Allah subhanho wa Taala. He says, command your families to the prayer and be persistent with commanding them and persistent and regular with the prayer and ensuring that they regular with the prayer, Allah says, Lana's Alucard is fun. We're not asking you for sustenance, national Naropa We are the providers will activate to the taqwa. And the good end is for the people of taqwa. This is another command allows commanding the parents to look after their flock and command them towards the greatest pillar of success which is solid, because as we know the first thing that Allah will ask us about on the day of PMA Salah, if that pillar stands, all the other acts of worship will
stand you as a cat will stand, your hedge will stand, your fasting will stand, being good to your parents will stand all the other deeds will have the strength to stand up and support our case in terms of receiving diversity from Allah subhanho wa Taala and inshallah getting entered into gender. If that Salah fails, none of the deeds will stand to Pamela. And this is taught to us by Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam with Allah except our Salah, and make us diligent with Salah. I mean, it's not about saying, Well, I'm good, you know, nowadays we hear people belittle the situation and say, Well, you know, I'm a good child to my parents, when they lack Salah, and they try and comfort
themselves in terms of their lack of diligence of Salah by saying, Well, I'm good in other things. The reality is, Islam is about entering into Islam in total. It's not about looking after one part of the Sharia and disregarding another part of the Sharia. And as we see in this ayah Allah is telling us to command our families towards the prayer. Does that mean that Allah is telling us don't command them towards other things? No, he's telling us he's commanding us to make sure that our children are diligent with their Asana, which means if they diligent with the most important thing, then by default, you are commanding them to the less to the or let's say the other important things
which are not as important as Salah. Does that make sense? And this is from the eloquence of the Quran, right? That Allah will mention the most important thing to cite for us that everything else falls under by default. So you command towards Allah, but that means you commanding towards all the other aspects of the Sharia. So if Allah subhanho wa Taala, actually has faced in His revelation, right? To reveal versus, or better yet, right? It's better we say, if and versus to reveal is dedicated towards parenting, then surely, surely, this is important to Allah. Surely, this is important to Allah. It's not about just, you know, being a parent, because that's how life is we
have to, you know, we get married, then we become parents, because we have to have children, because society keeps on asking us, like, when are you having your neck straps, right? It always happens before you get married, everyone saying when you're getting married, when you get married this thing, so is the baby, right? That's what happens. But it's not about just it's not, it's not about going through the motions, you got to understand I'm worshiping Allah here. And Allah has commands in his book related to this. And, you know, this is is for us a very important abstract lesson. And that is that parenting cannot be reduced towards this process of financial, you know, provision, the
way the parent thinks, well, my job is to pay the bills, put them through school, you know, pay for the holidays, pay for the clothes, buy them the PlayStation, because Allah is saying, Let us alone, we're not asking you to provide sustenance. We are the providers. Right, but we commend you to raise them properly. That's what a lie saying. So parenting cannot be reduced to a very small element and aspect, you know, which is financial provision and taking care of the family financially. No, you know, fatherhood entails more than just going to work. It entails being a father, right? And one of the lectures I gave somewhere, it was titled that you know, a man up oh Father, because we live in
society today. We're cultural
parenting has taken over where fathers think, Well, you know, it's the mothers duty to teach the child everything and we have no role in it. Our role is to go to work, come back tired, and have a good excuse for being tired. And that's not the case. That is a gross misrepresentation of this term, which is the Arabic term for being a father. Now, I can see the sisters are smiling, but that doesn't mean that we should go home and lay on the on the fathers we must be diligent in how we also interact with each other as husbands and wives because also being married is an act of worship as well. And culture needs time. You know, to or changing culture needs time is not something that
happens overnight. The Quran wasn't revealed overnight, it was revealed over 23 years Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam wasn't a prophet for one year or two. He was a prophet for 23 years changing things need time, but inshallah the message is getting through. So this is the Quranic instruction also Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said kulu, Kumara and Luca masala Andhra Yeti, that each and every one of you is a shepherd, and every Shepherd is responsible for his flock.
This is a very important generation. And it's authentic. Right? So the flock of a parent is his or her children, you are responsible Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam cites responsibility, you know, we can the Sherry has, you know, we cannot say the Sharia has lacked
diligence with regards to teaching us the reality of being a parent or law. You know, it doesn't mean that you haven't read the Hadith, or heard of the Hadith, or read the Quran properly, that the Sharia doesn't teach the stuff. Right, or that you won't be responsible, you are responsible because the revelation exists. The teachings of Rasulullah, sallAllahu, alayhi wasallam exists, the scholars exist, it's your job to go out and ask, what is expected of me? What does Allah want from me in this situation that I am in now I have become a husband. Now, what does Allah want from me? I have become a wife. Now, what does Allah want? You know, from me, I have become a parent. Now, what does Allah
want from me? This is our responsibility, we have to visit the scholars and ask, but let's be honest, how many people are asking this?
How many people are asking this? Right? So brothers and sisters, we have a lot to change. And we have a lot to think about. And the worst thing you can do as a parent is be judged and jury of your own progress. That's the worst thing you can do. Right? We live in an age where we are in desperate need of sincere advisors, people who are brutally sincere, and brutally honest with us. I'm talking about constructive criticism, of course, we need that, because we cannot afford to be judged in jury of our own progress. Because sherburn is in front of us, and shape our nose. Allah wants us to be good parents. So he's going to make us be bad parents. That's the reality. And again, sharepad is
not a fairy tale, Japan is a reality. So if you know, you have an open enemy daily with you, as a parent daily with you, as a wife daily with you, as a husband daily with you as, as whatever your role in society is.
And his job is to ensure that you
can conduct yourself in a way most hated to Allah subhanho wa Taala. You can't close your eye to this fact.
Because that's what Chopin's promise is that I will make them do everything you hate, and make them hate everything you love. That's the reality. So when you get yourself into a situation where a new role falls upon you, you have to visit this college and ask the right What does Allah want of me, that is the starting point in you understanding how good a parent you are in terms of the context of parenting, and better still, you need somebody else to give you constructive criticism. We live in an age sadly, where sincere advices are few. And when the few sincere advices advice, we have people who don't really want to listen to them. They don't really want to listen, we're always making
excuses. You know that word, but beauty is a very bad word. Why? Because that's the word which shows that you're not really interested in the advice that you receiving. somebody tells you something you say yes, but
now there's a problem. Because even for those who who study language, you know that but has a negative connotation. And in many contexts, it cancels everything before the but you said yes, but that yes is canceled. You didn't agree to what was said. Right. And even in law now, I came across an article. In law when they came the lawyers, they tell them to use less the word button use more the word and because when you try to change the perceptions of a jury the word and works better, right? Because it has, it has more positive connotations. Anyway, that's just a footnote, but also the loss of a loved one and he was lm says kulu Kumara each and every one of you is that
shepherd, and you are responsible for your flock. Now brothers and sisters in the context of creating agency, we know on the day of them, a group of the oma Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is going to be chased away or moved away from the house, from this, this, how this basin that Allah subhanho wa Taala has given the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and this basin is for his own man to drink from. And when they drink from it, the burden of the day of gamma will be reduced. So we know that an oma will be taken away, and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam will be sad, and he will shout cry out and say these are my people. And the angels will say no, you don't know
what they did.
So we know that he's going to be upset on the day of PM, because this has been taught to us, the question you have to ask yourself is, are you going to be a means of his happiness? Or a means of sadness on the day of care?
What are you going to be? That's what you have to ask yourself? If you follow his methodology in parenting, the prophetic way hamdulillah. And this take this as a base rule and apply it apply to all your circumstances. And everything I do, if I do this, is this gonna make me a means of the happiness of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam or be a means of sadness? Nobody, in his right mind does that thing which upsets his or her parents, you love your parents? in your right mind? You don't purposely do that which upsets them, right. So why would you do to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who we are commanded to love more than our parents? Why would you want to do that?
Right? So you got to think about this formula in everything that you do your dress code, how you are with your spouse's, how you are with your parents, how you are with your children, how you are with your employees, with your employers, with Allah subhanho, wa, taala, and so on and so forth. You got to use this criteria and ask yourself, if I behave in this way, is it going to make me drink from that basin? Or is it going to be a means of returning or being turned away from the base and on the day of? Do I want to see the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam crying and knowing that that tear is because of me. Right? Want to create agency, right? This is a way to change, want to create
agency feel desperate to change? Right? This is this, I think this is a good way for people of event, you ask yourself that do I want to see that TNC that to was because only How would you feel? Right? Or do I want to be his mind? When I see him smiling his head hamdulillah I was upon his directives. Right.
And that brings me to another point in terms of parenting brothers and sisters. And that is that parenting, as we said is an art you coming here today is not gonna make you good parents. Let's just set the expectation. If being a good parent was as easy as attending a seminar, then everyone would be good parenting parents. Let's be honest. Now it doesn't work like that. You got to go implement. You got to go read. You got to go ask you got to be brutally honest with yourself. Right? Don't be honest. And me by kidding yourself. I'm a good parent. No, be brutally honest. Right? benchmark yourself against everything that he shared today. And everything that he shared in terms of ideals,
right in this field of parenting, benchmark yourself against those ideals. When you ask scholars after this seminar, write a benchmark yourself and ask yourself hold on how close Am I to the ideal way? Or how far am I from it? And then cite for yourself. The means that you will use to fill in the gap to gap this hole. So you become a person upon the idea. Right? The tragedy is not in making a mistake. So don't use today to become depressed or to become sad or feel like everything's lost. The tragedy is not in making a mistake. The tragedy is not learning from the mistake that's where the tragedy isn't that you know you have a problem and you do nothing about so my dear brothers and
sisters This is
inshallah a few things that
assist us in understanding why these topics are important and why we need more of it. If we look in the Quran, my dear brothers and sisters, and the student of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. We see the Quran and the Sunnah, describing children as many things. Right? I'm going to cite for you a few of these things. One of the things that the Quran and the Sunnah cites children as is a glad tidings. They consider children a glad tiding glad tidings, right? Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah says in Surah Maryam in Ayah number seven, oh zecharia Indeed, we give you good tidings of a boy whose name is your hair, and we have not assigned to any before this this particularly right. So
it's a curiosity Sam was making direct to Allah for the child asking a lot for the child asking a lot for a child asking a lot for the child and a lot tested him by the
Lane giving him this tract. And then he said to Allah, that Allah my hairs have become white, my bones have become weak, you know, meaning is reached an age of despair, right? And through experience they understood that people really don't get children during this age. So Allah answered his dryer and said, we've given you a child and better off or better still even naming this child for you. We've named this child. Yeah. Right. So but the point to note is Allah Subhana, who at the LSE, he has a career in Iraq, that oza Korea, indeed we give you good tidings. Right? So by default, we need to view our children as glad tidings, which means we need to thank cover for them. How many
times do we think a lover our children will lie even if you think about once a day is not enough, but let's be honest, perhaps months go by, before we even thank Allah subhanho wa Taala for the children that Allah has given us, we don't see it as a glad tiding from Allah as a blessing from Allah subhanho wa Taala. So the Quran and the Sunnah teaches us that our children are glad tidings. The Quran and the Sunnah also teach us that our children are actually a comfort to our eyes. It cites children as the coolness of one's eyes, as the comfort of one's eyes. In pseudocode, for pie number 74, Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions to us a door. And this door is a door of a people that
Allah loves and Allah praises. So Allah is telling us some of the reasons why he loves them. And tells us that there are people who say, Our Lord grant us from our wives and offspring, a comfort and coolness to our eyes, and make us an example for the righteous. So this is a gap in the Quran, which Allah cites for us a dua for better children. Right. And this is part of being a good parent that you make, do and you ask Allah, to
make you a good parent and give you good offspring. We must understand this brothers and sisters, because all of success begins with Allah. And if all of success begins with Allah, then that means that we need to have do as a major part of parenting.
Right? It's common sense. If all of success begins with a law, how do we communicate with a mind ask them to do it? Right? So if you want to be a great parent, you got to ask yourself, How much do I do I make for my children? And how much do I ask, am I making in terms of me? and parenting? Right? Because as Allah says, Allah, can Allah have Baba in a coma? Amen. That it is Allah who made Eman beloved to you when I can allow us akima Yeshua, but it is Allah who purifies who Allah was Bonilla who use a keema Yeshua. Instead it is Allah who purifies who he wills. So a lot of time and time again, is telling us that success begins with him when you are good is because Allah willed you to
be good. When you love Amen. It's because Allah made a man Beloved. Right? So being a good parent and making that beloved to you comes from Allah. So if all success is from Allah, we have to start with duality. And the duality of the righteous was this, that Oh Allah grant from us or from our wives and offspring.
People who will be cool to our eyes, and they come through to our eyes, meaning this is this is an Arabic way. This was the way of the Arabs they would they would speak that they would use this terminology to refer to something being peaceful to the heart, that when you see this person, you see this child, you see your spouse, you feel peace and serenity. And that is the crux of a good Muslim home. Because Allah subhanho wa Taala says, That woman at and Haleakala come in and fujichrome as well as that from the signs of Allah, from the signs of Allah being one, and the only one worthy of worship is that he created us as pairs.
And he created from us our spouses, why Lita, Escuela de la, so that you may, you may derive peace from your spouse. Right? This is the crux of, of a perfect home, that when a person looks at his or her spouse, he feels peace. When he looks at his own children, he feels peace. And this is the beauty of the Sharia, that the Sharia doesn't tell you of an ideal and just leave you to sort it out yourself. But Sherry tells you of an ideal and then sets processes in place to help you achieve that ideal. And that is why we find a lion subhanho wa Taala and Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam time and time again, talking about elements of being a good parent and the importance of being a
good child. Why because the ideal has been set.
Think about taqwa. Right? This is an ideal. But Allah didn't say be people of taqwa and he left us like this. No. He said for us processes to help us achieve taqwa. This is from the completeness of the Sharia from these processes
Fasting, so that perhaps you may attain taqwa from these processes is a good friend circle. Right? Yeah you have levena M and O Allah wakulla. Masada T. O you who believe. Be God conscious have Taqwa and as a process to attain that taqwa have a righteous, truthful forensic.
Yeah, you are Latina mo de la kulu. Colin said either. Oh you believe v people of taqwa and as a process to achieve that taqwa speak the truth, be diligent with your tongue. See, these are processes that help us achieve the idea. This is from the completeness of the Sharia.
So even with parenting, when, when Allah sets an ideal with regards to the home, the ideal Muslim home, there's many processes set in place to help us achieve that. That is how beautiful the Sharia is. And this is the wisdom why revelation came, and why prophets were sent. Very complete redundancy. There's much more to the Sherry our lucky if we only took time to ponder and learn and take an active keen interest, if we got off the television serials, you know, that consume our days and our weeks and our months, and we spend time reading that that is beneficial to our souls and our hearts. And that will be a means of greatness for us, both in this life and the next if we only
sorted out ourselves. Right? You know, when I travel and do the seminars, many people come amazed, and Okay, Alhamdulillah, they amaze because they feel aligned. They appreciate what Allah sent. But why be amazed now,
when the Quran is in front of you, the son of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is in front of you. Why do you want someone to come spoon feed you? That which is critical to your salvation? Right? If I said to you that I have a billion gold bricks, a billion gold bricks, which are worth billions of dollars, right? And
it's all legal. And it's for you to name. But you know what? I've left it somewhere and I'm not telling you where to go and find it. Are you going to be fussy? And say, no, then I don't want these gold bricks, I'm not interested. And well, I only want it if you tell me where it is. And you're going to say that? No, you'll probably leave your job. And say I'm going to have set my whole I'm going to find these gold bricks that are in my name. Why? Because it's worth it. You're not going to be fussy. So why are we so fussy when it comes to learning about Islam? If the inheritance of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam is far more valuable than a billion gold bricks. And by the
way, in case you didn't know it is,
why are you so fussy? That now I'll only go if the speaker comes and lectures on this. I'll only go if it's not too early in the morning. You know the time was right? And only go if it doesn't conflict with this other useless thing that I do normally. Right? Why would you be fussy? Surely you should give up everything and go and learn from the inheritance of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Your salvation depends on it. Surely it's worth it. Small is what? Let's be honest. It's it's more worth it than a billion gold bricks, right? Today, we're very fussy brothers and sisters with that which our salvation depends upon. And by the way, when we learn it, finally, 30 years down
the line, we are amazed when truly we should have been amazed much earlier, but our application was wrong. our priorities were not correct. So our Sherry teaches us that our children are glad tidings and teaches us that our children are a comfort to our eyes. Our Sharia also teaches us that our children are a means of affection and mercy. Yes, because it's sort of a room.
In it number 21.
In terms of a completion to the I decided to do when Allah says from his sciences that Allah created us as Pez, Allah says, what your anabaena Kumar datawatch. Right? Allah says that he placed between husband and wife love and mercy, love and mercy. And children are a result of this love and mercy. So in a nuanced way, we understand that the sharing of us children as a means of affection and mercy. Of course, if we are diligent as parents, this is the reality of children. Children are not a means of breaking up the hope. Children should not be a means of the Depression of the father or the mother. No, they should. They are a result of affection and mercy. And that's why the shediac
considers them a means of affection and mercy. Some of the scholars very likely said that you see Allah, he said, between husband and wife love and mercy. Why? Because love is only going to last so many years. Right? Right when the honeymoon period finishes, and some people actually say that the honeymoon period finishes when the children are born. shouldn't be the case. shouldn't be the case because the sheer size them as excites them as a means of affection. But the scholars say that some hannula if we look at it alone,
Law says love and mess up so that you don't have an excuse when the love finishes you supposed to be merciful with each other, that you tolerate each other by being merciful teacher. Right? This is part and parcel of marriage as well. Right? So this is a great insight from the scholars. Also. Allah has cited our children as an adornment of this life
as an adornment because in Surah through calf which we read every Friday in ayah, number 46. Allah says, Allah manual by noon Xena to hire to dunya that wealth and children are an adornment of this worldly life. Right? So the sheriff cites them as an adornment something there to make this life beautiful for us. And let's, let's be honest, right? This life has a lot of challenges. Right? So children are there as something that makes life beautiful, like Allah has made the skies beautiful with the stars, right? So Allah has made our life beautiful with children. And the reason why I'm going through this is for first to understand Subhan Allah, I after I, the Sharia is describing
children in so many different ways with so many positive attributes, right? So many different descriptions and adjectives are being used to describe our children, I can promise you you won't find the adjective known as brat or spoiled. All these are the terms that we mainly throw at children today. And the reason why that is because of poor parenting, but we'll come to that inshallah. Also, Allah subhanho wa Taala cites children as a gift from Allah subhanho wa Taala. Because I shall be Allah one of the Sherry asides children as a gift, because I shall be Allah says, and she narrates that indeed your children are Allah gift for you. And in the Quran, Allah says them
as a gift because Allah is suited to an end. In a number 84 Allah says what will happen Allah who is happy that we bestowed upon him his happy ending, I hope we bust out we gifted him with his happily I hope, and yes, our children are a gift if we bring them up properly, because after we die, they McDowell for us, they implement our teachings, they teach our teachings to other people, they implement those teachings. And Allah rewards us in our grave for everyone who follows our directives after we passed away, so no doubt, they are a gift. Also brothers and sisters, in terms of
the children and the descriptions in the Quran, and the sooner
the Sherry cites them as an act of worship.
The Sharia describes them as an act of worship. Right? And I said this in my introduction, you got to notice that you know, when you spend time developing your child, teaching them good manners, educating them, this is like nephew Sala considered an Asana or an order, nothing faster, voluntary, fast, you got to consider this. Don't just consider it a norm of life, that you know, I have to teach them this. So on each day, I'm not embarrassed that they misbehave in front of the family. No, that shouldn't be the case. Remember, we started today's talk, saying that this learning and teaching is an act of worship, right? The Sharia, as it has cited our children, as many different
beautiful things. It cites our children as an act of worship. When you when you try to have a child that's an act of worship. Yes, there's etickets. There's etiquettes
is etiquettes. Brothers and sisters, you know, choosing your wife is from good parenting, the wife you marry. That's when parenting starts, by the way, as honorable haakaa. Viola one, I mentioned to a person when he said that parenting started the day you chose your right, that's an act of worship, and then even in the consummation of the marriage, right, and in the act that a child comes about as a result of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi, wasallam Estrada's do as then, Allah homogeny Bella sharepad, he told us to decide to do his unit activation, because you are you are practicing this act in a circumstance in a marriage. And when
he was taught this to the companions, the Sahaba were shocked and said, we actually get rewarded for this. This reward for this, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said yes, if you did it in a haram way wouldn't they be
right? To the Sharia teaches us that parenting is an embed in the life you choose, that you are you make when you consumate. So when that child is born, is born with protection, because this is a draft protection. And then also the acts of worship that the Sharia has cited after the child has been born in terms of the law, and the shaping of of the, the swindler practices, the shaping of the hair, right? And
the sutra and so on and so forth and the naming of the child even the naming process, the Shetty has advice on this. It's an act of worship, and then raising the chat. You got to understand this those sleepless nights that the parents have the 2am
The mothers particularly right, the two M's all this is really bad. All this is a bad and then you go through the terrible twos, you know when the child gets the terrible twos, right? That's and and surfing that phase of their life is an act of worship, then you get the surfing teens, right? You get that phase when they become teenagers brings about a whole new different aspect in your life in terms of your parenting. Right, that is an act of worship. So let us take this last point, I think it's a perfect point to move into the first break. And that is what we started off with talking about how our life is worship, and understanding that the Sharia has cited our children as a means
for us to worship Allah, you must know that you dig your streams in gender. When you parent your child, you plant your forests and gardens in general. When you parent your child, you lay the bricks to your palaces in general, when you
raise your children, and I think, again, this is another citation that helps create that urgency within us to become better parents and understand the importance of topics such as these let's go for the first break. It's 945 right now, awesome Allahu wa Sallim wa barik ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi