Sajid Ahmed Umar – Arafah and the Muslim Family #08

			Love, love,
		

			love, love, love. Love
		

			Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil aalameen or salat wa salam ala rasulillah who are early or
sahbihi Marine we begin In the name of Allah subhanho wa Taala seeking His blessings, we praise Him
and we praise our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and request from Allah blessings and
salutations upon him to my brothers and sisters in Islam salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
May Allah Peace, blessings and safety be upon you all. And I welcome you all to episode number eight
of our short series together dedicated to the hedge and the family, common foundations, I pray that
your first 10 days of the hedger are going phenomenally well Subhan Allah, we are almost at the end,
		

			and actions are judged by their endings. So this means that we need to really bring ourselves
together in an even greater capacity and do everything in our capacity to worship Allah subhanho wa
Taala. To the best of our abilities, let's not forget the importance of the ninth of the ledger on
the day of arafah. And how unique that day is with Allah subhanho wa Taala. And how many blessings
Allah has showered not only the head judge, but even the neighborhood judge those who are not
performing the pilgrimage, in terms of rewards in terms of forgiveness, in terms of freedom from the
Hellfire, in terms of the opportunity to make dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala and have the two eyes
		

			accepted and speaking about the day of alpha. This is the topic for today, I want to discuss with
you all the reality of alpha and draw a parallel regarding this reality to
		

			the Muslim family, the Muslim family as per the teachings and Tao of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi
wasallam. And that's what we have been doing in our series together. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam said, I'll head you out of Subhan Allah, that there's nothing about the Hajj, except out
of everything about it is out of and scholars have deduce from this, that you can
		

			you can catch up with regards to the hedge. Except with regards to
		

			if you miss out if
		

			there's no hedge. Right? So Pamela, that's how important out of is. And in her in the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wasallam, releasing to us this lesson, he's taught us how out of is the core of
the fifth pillar of Islam, the hedge. And if we think about this, in this way, the idea of the core
of something and we zoom into what the family should be, and the core what the core of a family is,
as taught to us by Allah subhanho wa Taala Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa sallam to make us
understand really, that which we shouldn't allow to be sacrificed in any capacity. And if it is,
then we lose the coin, we end up putting ourselves in a very difficult situation where we might just
		

			lose everything, right? You miss our offer, you lose the edge, you lose the core of what is a
marriage, you might just lose everything. And when we look at the core for marriage, Allah tells us
in the Quran, when he tells us how a marriage is a sign from his science, he says what you're either
being a commodity that between the husband and wife, Allah has put Masada and Rama, love and mercy,
right. Love is the human emotion towards each other. And mercy. Some of the scholars have to say
mercy here refers to the children of the of the marriage, and they are a mercy for the parents when
those children are raised. Well Why? Because Allah says one levina M and whatever to Maria to be a
		

			man and how can I be sorry at home? Oh, my Alison. I mean, I met him insha Allah subhanho wa Taala
tells us that from the blessings of having a child or having children is that those children can be
a means of gaining a greater place in the in paradise. Why? Because in paradise if the children at a
higher level of Paradise because of the servitude and righteousness and piety, and the parents at a
lower level in the in Paradise, Allah will raise the parents to the state to the level of the
children, so that together they can be a family in general as they were a family seeking the
pleasure of Allah in the life of the swopped Subhana Allah, this is the core love and mercy. And
		

			some scholars have said that sometimes or we can benefit from this that sometimes the love meter
fluctuates, and it experiences a recession, right, the rate of love crashes. So when that happens,
you don't forget that Allah has placed mercy between you and your spouse, that you might not love
her so much. She might not love you so much for a matter or a particular series of matters. But
don't forget, that between you two is messy as well from Allah, but you have to make manifest that
mercy. You have to show it you have to come across in a way that shows that the mercy is there
proving that the mercy is right. And knowing that Allah has placed it between you because Allah said
		

			in the Quran that he has placed between the married couple love and mercy. Now brothers and sisters
in Islam
		

			When you go to alpha, you have to stand meaning when we say stand women position yourself on alpha,
right? You make yourself manifest that you are there. You can't be there digitally, right? In this
day and age, you can't send a mobile phone there and ask someone to call you and Okay, I'm gonna
edify you will have to physically be there in the moment. When people think when they say the
okuhara, you have to stand for the period. No, you can sit you can lay down, Wyckoff means
positioning yourself being present on the plains of arafa, you have to bring yourself to the moment.
Let's take that parallel into the marriage. When we talk about marriage, brothers and sisters in
		

			Islam, you have to manifest the love that you have for the other, you have to manifest the mercy
that exists between yourself and the other, to the other, the other person must feel your mercy,
right. It's not about just talking about the mercy being there. Or talking about the love being then
we see this sometimes when there's turbulence between husband and wife, and, you know, the
arbitration or the the counseling session takes place. And when you listen to the wife speak, the
husband finds it very strange in terms of what she's saying, and vice versa. And they both say, but
we are I do love her. And she says, I do love him. what's lacking or lacking is, you've kept it
		

			hidden. You haven't positioned that love and mercy in the marriage, you haven't shown it, it's one
thing to have it, it's another thing to say it. And when they say to each other, it's like the first
time the husband hears the wife and the wife hears the husband. But above and beyond saying it you
have to make you have to make it manifest, it has to resonate in our actions towards each other and
different couples. experience love and mercy in different ways. Sometimes, it's in in the way a wife
cooks for her husband, sometimes it's in the way the husband overlooks the faults of the wife or in
the way the husband praises
		

			the efforts of his wife or in some time, sometimes how the husband just feels sensitive to her
situation in the sense that he sees her working hard and he says to I just him saying it, him saying
that's panela malice panatela reward you for that you do the house is clean the children are you
know, reasonable Milla. Bless you honestly, Allah has really made you a means for me just that
Subhan Allah, is you manifesting that love and mercy. But if you keep it hidden, you know it in your
heart, you feel it in your mind, but you don't ever say it. How is she supposed to know? Same thing
with regards to my dear sister to you, with regards to your husband, you have all these emotions
		

			towards your husband. But if he hasn't been nurtured in a way to be compatible with you in terms of
being on your wavelength to understand that you cooking for him is you manifesting love, are you
doing this for him is you manifesting love, then discussion has to at least happen within the couple
where he understands where you coming from when you do what you do, doesn't have to be direct, it
could be indirect, you could give an example of how your mother used to manifest love and make him
think it's a hammer when she's doing it for me. She's showing me that she loves me for example, the
point is brothers and sisters in Islam. arafa is about manifestation and the pilgrim placing himself
		

			or herself there and then worshiping Allah to the best of his or her ability. The same thing with
the marriage, a husband and wife need to position themselves in the marriage, they need to bring
themselves to the table, they need to position themselves there. And then worshiping Allah subhanho
wa Taala as a wife, as a husband, as a parent, to the best of his to to you know the
		

			to your ability is dependent on your position in the family. And you will see Subhanallah how
stronger the family unit will be and how amazing children you will raise and how Subhanallah
		

			you know fluid, the relationship will be at the top of the marriage between the husband and the
wife. So take take this into consideration especially now that we
		

			we are for some people approaching the ninth of the ledger for some people we are experiencing the
length of the ledger worship Allah through pondering over what I've said, and thinking about how you
can be a better husband and a better wife in your marriage. Remember spanaway to Allah bless us with
the best marriages. I mean, I love you And for the sake of Allah until next time, Salaam Alaikum
alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
		

			Allah, Allah Akbar Allah