Saad Tasleem – This Generation Doesn’t Respect Parents

			said I want to learn how to backward another raw vlog. What I want to talk about today is respecting
parents. Now recently I heard someone say to me that this generation is really messed up. Why?
Because this generation just doesn't respect their parents. And in reply, I said, Well, I don't know
if that's necessarily the case. And by the way, a lot of these, this is generalization. There's
always exceptions. We're not speaking, but everybody here, but we're talking about general trends.
So, you know, I said, Well, I don't know if the previous generation, I don't know if they respected
their parents are for something else. And the person said, well, they, they, you know, they would
		

			never talk back to their parents, the way this generation talks back to their parents, they wouldn't
say the type of things that this generation, they say to their parents. And I said, Well, you know,
is that respect? Or was that respect? Or was it fear? And, yeah, the person said, Well, maybe it was
fear, but at least their behavior was good. And the reality is that fear and respect are not the
same thing. Oftentimes people perceive, especially the person demanding respect, they perceive, you
know, obedience as respect and obedience is not necessarily Respect. Respect is is is something that
is found within oneself and respect is something that has to be earned. How do you earn respect
		

			while you earn respect by giving respect? So I'm not really sure you know, that people who say that,
you know, the previous generation, the kids, they respected their parents? Well, I'm sure some of
them actually did respect their parents, and likewise, even this generation, a lot of kids respect
their parents. But if we're talking about general terms here, I think the previous generation, a lot
of it was fear, you know, parents, oftentimes there, they were very strict with their kids, and they
hit you know, expected a certain type of behavior. And the parents or sorry, the kids might have
gone along with that, not because they respected their parents, but because they were afraid of
		

			their parents. And now in this generation, yeah, I think kids, you know, once again, this is a
generalization, but kids are not as fearful of their parents. And therefore what is perceived is
that, you know, they don't respect their parents, someone may say, you know, well, who cares?
Whether it's fear or respect, the end result is the same, you know, that your kids listen to you,
and they behave well, etc, etc. And there's a very big problem with that type of thinking. And I've
heard people say, like, Look, that generation, they turned out fine, right? Even let's say they
feared their parents, they didn't respect their parents, but they turned out fine. And I usually
		

			say, is that really true? Did that generation truly turn out fine. Look, every generation has its
problems. And I'm not here to say that our generation or this generation is better than the previous
generation. But to say that the previous generation didn't have any issues. I don't think that's the
case, living in fear of one's parents has led to a lot of problems, much of that generation is
dealing with a lot of issues that are coming out now that they may be, you know, people didn't
realize when they were growing up. But now as they have become adults, they're dealing with a lot of
issues. Some of them are mental health issues. You know, there's things like self esteem issues,
		

			there's many, many problems that that generation is dealing with, or dealt with even before, but it
kind of, you know, wasn't really talked about people didn't really think about it, a section of that
generation dealt with abuse, maybe physical abuse, even parents who didn't, you know, hit their kids
or beat their kids, there was a level of verbal abuse. So it's not, we can't really say that that
didn't have an effect on the generation that grew up. And I've actually witnessed this firsthand and
speaking to people from that generation, and the problems that are having, whether it be in their
relationships, or whether it be you know, in their jobs, or whatever it may be those who are willing
		

			to talk about how they feel and how their life is going. They have to admit there are a lot of
problems that they have, because of the way that they were raised. So raising someone out of fear is
not a good thing. The profit some a lot I send them was never like that, you know, when we think
about how much the profit subtle I send them was respected. He wasn't respected because he brought
fear to people or because people were afraid of him. People respected him because he respected them
because they loved the profits I send them, even kids or set them would show a tremendous amount of
respect and give honor to children. And so obviously those children they grow up to respect the
		

			Prophet subtle, I said to them, you know, it's very interesting. We actually have a, an incident,
which gives light to this whole issue. A man came to the party to send them and he said, O Messenger
of Allah. He said, I've 10 children. I haven't kissed any of them ever. And the first set of them he
replied with something very, very interesting. He said Manila, your ham, your ham, he said the one
who doesn't show mercy will not be shown mercy to now the main meaning of this hadith is obviously
Mercy by a law that a person who doesn't show mercy to the creation, a person who is merciful to
others than Allah will not show mercy to this person. But another benefit we get out of this
		

			narration is that also the creation if we want our children to be merciful
		

			towards us, we have to be merciful towards them we have to show them respect if we want respect and
this is actually alluded to in the Quran as well and so often is thought Allah has panelist to Allah
says walk with lahoma and have Lima, Lima and lower to them the wing of humility speaking about our
parents here that we should be humbled towards our parents well called Rob Burnham whom come out of
Bayani so he got off and say, Oh, my lord have mercy upon them, just as they raised me when I was
young, or just as they brought me up, notice here in this ayah that we are we make dua to Allah to
have mercy upon our parents. And one of the reasons we do that is because they raised us in a good
		

			way. And part of that goodness in their raising us is that they raised this with mercy. So if we
want our kids to have mercy upon us now, and later when we're older, than obviously, we have to be
merciful towards them. If we want our kids to respect us, not fear us, respect us, then we have to
respect them as well. And that's why actually child abuse you know, sometimes people don't
understand that abuse can be verbal as well, constantly yelling at one's kids and and insulting them
and putting them down and telling them they're good for nothing. And they don't do anything good.
And they're just bad kids but constant stream of negativity that is actually verbal abuse, and have
		

			no doubt that's going to have a lasting effect on this individual. So how can we expect these
children to respect us when we have never shown them respect, let alone the cycle of violence, if
this is what we teach our kids this is how they may grow up and this is how they may treat their
kids as well. And so this cycle of violence this cycle of abuse, it has to stop you know the
prophesy send them. He said something very interesting to us. He said men send nothing Islamic so
nothing segi a fella who wizard will have a wisdom and me labia Isla yo milky Yama, he said, the
person who starts something bad or does something bad, they will have the burden of that sin, they
		

			will have to carry the weight of that sin and also the weight of every single person who followed
them in that sin. So think about this in terms of the cycle of abuse or the cycle of violence, it
may be in May Allah protect us that if we treat our kids in this way, and then they go on to treat
their kids in the similar way. And this is what our kids learn and it gets passed down from
generation to generation, we may be held accountable for that at least some part of that sin would
be upon us. On the other hand, the prostitute send them said men send enough in Islam isn't that and
has said that whoever does something good in Islam. I know a general how a gentleman Amina beha,
		

			Isla Yamanaka, Yama, that they will have the reward of that goodness, that good deed and the reward
of every single person who followed them until the day of judgment. Imagine you've had a lot that
parents have shown their kids respect, they have been patient with their kids. They've taught them
correct manners, not just enforced manners upon them, but showed them what correct manners are. They
taught them how to deal with conflict, they taught them how to be kind with those who disagree with
us, they showed them a higher level of patience and the kids learn this and then they pass that down
to their kids and then their kids and their kids. Imagine all of the reward that this person has
		

			gotten until we ask Allah, Allah to give us the trophy, the ability to be merciful towards our
children, and obviously towards our parents as well. And yes, we want our kids to respect us. Yes,
we should respect our parents, but there has to be real respect not just fear and Allah has counted
to Allah knows best so the question I have for you and this is something I've been thinking about
myself as well and I often get asked this question, what is the line between disciplining our kids
and also being merciful towards them being lenient with them so that they grow to respect us Let me
know your thoughts on this? Leave it in the comments below and cello to add on I look forward to
		

			hearing from you and until next time, I sit on what a comb what happened to light or what I can do