Omar Suleiman – When People Keep Letting You Down

			Brothers and sisters last week in the first football I spoke about this concept of friends. And I
got a comment after from a brother. He said, Well, what if I just don't want any friends? What if
I'm just tired of being around people. And at this point in my life, I've been through so many
friendships, so many relationships, where I always feel like I'm the one that's giving more, or I
always feel like it ends up in some sort of betrayal, someone taking advantage of me. And at this
point, I'm just sick of people. And it reminded me instantly of a Hadith of the Prophet sly
sentiment that the you Holly to nurse we ask you to another title minella de la johari. to nurse
		

			Well, they asked me to another but the one who mixes with the people and encounters what naturally
is some of the hardship that comes when you deal with people is better than the one who shuns the
people and does not tolerate what comes from them is not patient with the hardship that comes from
them. And that, obviously, is speaking about encountering people and mixing with the people in a
healthy way, injecting ersan injecting excellence in spaces that lack excellence, injecting trust in
spaces that have been poisoned by betrayal, bringing good language to places where foul language is
normal. Bringing Allah's remembrance to places where he is not remembered all of these things, is
		

			what is being spoken about. And obviously, no one tolerated more abuse than the Prophet slice on
them, despite who he was it histological slump, right? Nice people generally get taken advantage of
honest people generally end up in situations that they regret. And so a question comes up, you know,
what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? I have gotten to a certain age in my life, and I
talk about the innocence of someone who's young. By the time you've gone through enough business
partnerships and relationships and friendships, you're just done, you become a very jaded person.
And of course with some may loss of hundreds out to help them that's even marriages right betrayal
		

			and marriages and hardship that comes through that and Allah subhanaw taala ease that pain and and
allow us to have healthier marriages without betrayal and infidelity and some of the things that
people encounter despite doing everything they're supposed to do in a marriage. So it can leave you
as a very jaded person. So where do we go from here? And I want to actually reflect on some of the
analogies from the Prophet so I summon his companions. And then what that means for something
constructive in a few minutes. I found the beautiful narration from avoidable the Allahu taala and
call it a direct to NASA what a con la show kaffee he said that I remember living amongst people,
		

			and they were like leaves with no thorns, meaning you walk around and you don't have to worry about
something pricking you right I lived amongst honest people, I know what it was like to be in a
generation of honest God fearing people. He said false by who shokin now water coffee, and then I
saw a change completely. Where there are thorns everywhere. And I don't see just innocent leaves.
I'm going to get pricked right and left even if I'm not doing anything he said
		

			in Nakata home NACA Duke, which my translation would be the best thing if you mess with them,
they'll mess with you, too. Okay, if you if you if you kind of agitate or if you criticize, or if
you give advice, it'll come back towards you as well. Well, interlocutor, home Leia through cook,
but the problem is that if you leave people alone, they won't leave you alone.
		

			So you can you know, get in the game, basically. And you can muscle your way through the way that
people deal with each other. And you're not going to come out clean, right, they're gonna get right
back at you. Even if you're not a lot of them just in general, it's going to be tough. Or even if
you leave people alone, they will not leave you alone. Right? You don't get involved in any trouble.
You don't do anything to agitate or to aggravate. You just keep to yourself. And still people are
going to talk about you. Still people are going to mess with you. Still people are going to make
claims about you. You're still going to find yourself in a mess because people have become
		

			collectively Messier. And so they said to us all the time.
		

			Okay, for Keith and Asana, what are we supposed to do when that time comes? Bala to create the home
mineral, mineral Rica, the only Fabrica
		

			he said, loan them your name
		

			for a day in which you will be impoverished you'll be in poverty, loan them your name, let them have
it. Let them speak about you. Let them say things about you. Let them you know, take shots at you.
Let them pick
		

			because there will come a day of poverty and profit slice on dimensions that occur on that those
people that have a lot will have such little on the Day of Judgment. Except for those of course who
were people of charity.
		

			And goodness in the profit slice I mentioned mufflers a bankrupt person on the Day of Judgment. Some
people will show up on the Day of Judgment, with Salah with prayer with fasting with all types of
good deeds and it will all go away in front of their eyes because it's a credit card. All these
people that you hurts some behalf our shatta Mahadeva had a lot of other they're all gonna line up
one by one and take your good deeds until you're left with nothing May Allah subhanaw taala protect
us from being amongst them along I mean, and a person says yeah, Allah, I have nothing left. Now you
go into debt on the Day of Judgment, people will come and put their sins on you because you have no
		

			more good deeds for them to terrifying situation. So I wonder that well, the Lord was saying to
students, he's saying listen, just let them have at it. But know that there will come a day that
you'll get it back, it'll be paid back to you. The profit slice of them also spoke to this idea of
the quality of people
		

			sort of deteriorating, when he said it his slotless that I'm in the manasu can easily meet a lot of
casual, techy, doofy Hahaha, prophesies, and so people are like a set of 100 cameras out of 100
you'll only find one that's good for a journey. If you think about people, you can only rely on one
person out of 100. Now of course as time goes on, trust, withers integrity withers people will
constantly disappoint you. The point is to be the disappointed and not the disappointing. People
will constantly wronged you. The point is to be the one who is Mcdo Nakata, the one who's killed not
killing the one who is wrong, not wrongdoing. Because if you wronged someone, your price to pay is
		

			on the Day of Judgment. If you are wrong, that doesn't mean we tolerate an atmosphere of volume an
atmosphere of wrongdoing, that doesn't mean that we turn a blind eye to justice until people be
patient when they're being wronged. That means that for ourselves in these natural situations, we'd
rather be on the side of being harmed rather than harming because Allah subhanaw taala compensates
and Allah subhanaw taala prosecutes on the Day of Judgment, right? So you can only find one out of
100 that's suitable for a journey. And it's to the point that they know the amount of the allotted
time and when he's talking about the loss of anona the loss of trust in particular over time. He
		

			said there will come a time on this earth. You call in a fee Benny Phu Lamb of Agilent Amina that
people will have such a hard time finding a trustworthy person, a person that anona personal trust
that they'll start to say, somewhere over there in this city, in this in this town, there's a
trustworthy person. So whether it's in business, or whatever it may be like, you go over there, and
you'll find someone despite the overall increase in population. There are more Muslims around but
they're less trustworthy people. And so you got to go find them. And it becomes it becomes a thing.
It becomes a rare,
		

			you know, a rare prize to the one who is able to find someone that's trustworthy. How many times do
you engage in business? How many times do you do something with another Muslim and you think
Mashallah, this is going to go great. Two years later, you're in front of our offices, asking for
help, because that person flipped on you. Right? took advantage of you wronged you. It's sad. It is
a very sad situation. And the prophets lysozyme gave us instructions. First and foremost through his
own behavior, it is Salatu was Salam. And I want you to think about being jaded how a person can get
to a point where they're jaded and just disappointed because they're constantly let down
		

			on a soul loss I'm stood up on a suffer and the profit side Some said look, if I was to tell you
people that there is an army coming from the other side, we all know this idea. They'd say, Well of
course you're a saw that I mean, we believe you for 40 years. muscle loss my son was there I mean,
and he continued to be I mean it his Salatu was Salam throughout the entirety of his life for 40
years. You trusted me for 40 years I helped you out for 40 years I was there for you and then they
act like they don't know him you know it's very interesting so Pamela one of my my teachers and sila
he said there is not a single narration of the Prophet slice alum reminding individually someone
		

			from the days of ignorance about some good that he did for them
		

			meaning like Hey, remember I remember you you know pointing to someone. I remember when you were
going through this I was the one that loaned you money, the profit slice I'm used to get people out
of debt. Remember when you were in hardship I was the one that you came in talk to remember when you
needed this. I was the one that did this because that total Tito saw the party complementing each
other. Don't be that person that negates their charity by what remember when I got to remember this
and remember that no, when the prophet SAW some help people he helped them because of who he was not
because of who they were. So even after Islam when they turn their backs on him, Do you know how
		

			many nasty secrets the prophets lie some could have probably brought out from those people. You
know,
		

			probably could have humiliated Abuja and would not have been some of those people by mentioning some
things that he surely knew from the past it is thought to us, you know how he could have put some
people down and say, remember when I did this for you or nobody and I was there for you, and
everyone's taking their shots at the profit slice on him now, he didn't do it. Why? He said a
different standard for himself thought it his thought to Islam, Amana innominate, emmonak prophets
lie. Some said, when someone trusts you with something, then fulfill their trust one to one
mechanic. Don't betray those who betray you. Don't act in like manner with people that act in a
		

			certain way with you. You need to end that relationship ended. We talked about that last week. But
don't become that person. don't justify your own bad behavior by that person's bad behavior towards
you. And that's why Subhan Allah, even in the heads off, I mean, I know we say this, but imagine
they're trying to kill the profit slice on them. But at the same time, they're storing their amount
hours with him, they're storing their trust with him. The same people that are plotting a plot to
take him out, have their most precious possessions with him because they know that even in those
circumstances, no one's more trustworthy than him. And one of the prophets lie some do that he say,
		

			you know what, since you're kicking me out of Mecca, I'm gonna take this would mean a Medina. No, he
leaves enable the Aloha behind and he says, Go return this to this person, go return this to this
person, go return this to this person and risk your life in the process, by the way,
		

			because we hold ourselves to a different standard. I'm not going to become like that person. I'm not
going to become like that standard. I'm not going to subject myself to that. Or Sula say, some rose
above it, not just after it's now. But even before it, it is Salatu was Salam. And that's from his
personal hook. And the Prophet slice understands that it's only natural that as time goes on, look,
you can you can get to a point where you're just sick of people, where you start to act towards
people, even unintentionally, sometimes with a new meanness and a crudeness and a harshness and a
suspicion because of what was done to you.
		

			And we learn from the Prophet slicin them that don't punish people with the pain that was inflicted
on you. It's not fair. It's not fair. You know, Subhanallah sometimes people become monsters in
society. And what's the first excuse especially, you know, if the person fits a certain profile?
Well, when they were kids, and this and this happened, that doesn't excuse anything, no one carries
the burden of another person. You don't get to inflict pain on someone else because it was inflicted
on you. That's not the way that this works. There are ways to seek justice and Islam has mechanisms
of justice. We're not a religion that says overlook justice. But at the same time, when there is an
		

			inevitable wrongdoing that has no recourse in this life, we turn to Allah subhana wa tada and we
seek it in the next life. So don't punish people with the pain that was inflicted on you also seek
to be the difference that you want to see in people around you. When you read the Hadith of the 100.
camels tell yourself I'm going to be the one Campbell
		

			I don't just read that and say, yeah, you know, saw the horizontal lines of Allah sallallahu alayhi
wa sallam and indeed we say that but most people I meet are very messed up people 99 out of 100
right? No, say what does it take to be the one out of the out of the 100 because the prophets lie
Some said frequently carnem on mateesah because every generation of my oma has people that that lead
the way not just in a bad luck as one character as well. They refuse to succumb to nastiness and the
practices and things that have become acceptable amongst the people. They just don't do it. So I'll
be the dependable front I'll be the one that's trustworthy, even if that's going to cost me
		

			something of this dunya I'll be that person. But I won't lose my I won't lose my hair after and
hopefully I will seek something from the sight of Allah subhana wa tada in the process also Subhana
Allah sometimes we penalize people in our lives that come afterwards that may be just as honest as
us are better than us we all see ourselves as the good people right? So just make that assumption
that if I'm not the person that's wrong wrongdoing and I've been the one that's wrong. Sometimes
other people come up and lie in our lives and we don't treat them right because I can't trust again
		

			I don't know if I can love again I don't know if I can move on from this I don't know if I can
establish a friendship again and let me say that that is natural What are you waiting for long
enough something levels Allah does not burden a person beyond their scope. It is natural that when
you've been betrayed when you've been wronged when you've been disappointed when you bit it takes
time to build that however don't preclude the possibility or soul loss lie somewhere loving
relationship with the unsolved after the betrayal of his own people. That's something and Yes, he's
also lost my son and that standard is there but you know what we aim for that standard it's possible
		

			right? A lot took away from the profit slice on them through the process of infocomm this criteria
that came with the religion, his uncle's but he got a little Beckett all the time. Right? He got
people like sides have been more out that will be a long time. He got others solahart he was
		

			I'm not allowed to put in his path as a result. Also lower your expectations in people as a whole
and place your hopes in the reward of Allah subhanho wa Taala
		

			there gonna be times that people are going to let you down we as Muslims, they are gonna be fine.
		

			I mean, that was the argument the, the way that we approach the profit slice on them, I took they I
would the profit slice on them on the basis I will never ask people for anything I'm going to try to
be the person that helps people I'm going to try to be at the edge didn't really have the upper hand
I'm going to try to be the person that puts themselves in a situation where they left lift people up
out of their vulnerability. Rather than ending up in too much vulnerability myself, I'm going to try
to be a person that helps others that tries to set the standard. Try to not be in that situation
where you will have these expectations of people they will disappoint you place your hopes and the
		

			reward from Allah subhanho wa Taala and with the reputation with the saying of with the data, the
amount of data and how about particularly reputation and name, he continues, and he says had the
Emerald weekend Illa from unsub back oh Shattuck Oh potluck there hula for either for stuffy Rila.
		

			He said, you give your name to Allah subhanaw taala give your give yourself to Allah subhanaw taala
give you a reputation give your name to a loss of habitat. So if someone after that comes and they
insult you and they say things about you or they hurt you or they whatever it is, give that to Allah
subhana wa Tada. Right. Does that mean again that you can tell someone who's being harmed seeking
the if you don't know you try to help that person because that's the point right? They shouldn't
have to ask for recourse for themselves. You set up systems and Community Systems of justice, where
those that are wronged don't have to sit on the sidelines and just look towards the aka Allah will
		

			fill in the gap. But when it's you and a person goes through these inevitable things in life, you
know what, I'm gonna leave it to Allah subhanaw taala and the ending of this, either tougher stuff
for Allah, if you did wrong, then seek forgiveness from Allah.
		

			don't justify and say everybody's dirty, I'm going to jump into it myself. No. Hold yourself to that
higher standard. He does stuff that I love. When you mess up, seek forgiveness from Allah Subhana
Allah Allah. May Allah subhanho wa Taala allow us to hold ourselves to a higher standard May Allah
subhanho wa Taala allow us to be rewarded on the day of judgment and May Allah Subhana Allah bless
us with righteous companions, righteous people in this life that will encourage us to do good and
May Allah subhanaw taala allow us to pass through the tests in which our integrity is put on the
line. May Allah subhanaw taala allow our Deen and our character to remain intact with whatever it is
		

			that comes towards us in this life, Allah Ameen. akuto kolyada stuff like that and muslimeen First
off, he wrote in a hole for Rahim.
		

			hamdulillah Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah and he was talking to him and Allah La. Nina Well,
that's one Muslim enormously Matt Martin Tanaka, semirara caribou, dharwad Allah, Allah Mohammed
water for now Allah, Robin Allah and Susana inlanta for Lana. Lana coonan MNL ha serene Allah them
in a careful when kitty want to head will ask for an la mina, careful when kitty Motorhead Buddha
for Allah feduni yT Dino Robert homochiral buenas Silvana Robin I have a lot I mean as far as you
know the reaction of Aryan with Jana dealing with Sakina imama long sort of one and mustafina Thema
sha Allah MOBA Allah Hamas the white one and and kobina equally McCann Allah Anika ball Amina with
		

			warning in Northridge not with one and the beanie himself I mean he by the law and the law he will
it will SM for about an hour and in fashion it will moon carry well belly yo Camilla Allah come to
the Coronavirus Corolla half croquembouche Kuru whiner is it locum one of the crolla acabado Allah
yarmulkes in their own walking with Salah