Omar Suleiman – When Forgiving Is Complicated

			We're unconditionally obeyed except for him. And we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa
Salam is his final messenger. We ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him the prophets and
messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him and those that
follow in his lesson path until the Day of Judgment, we ask Allah to make us amongst them Hola.
Hola. I mean, the brothers and sisters often when we talk about some of the more difficult verses in
the Quran, that require a serious compromise on our part, especially when it comes to a relationship
when it comes to the issue of forgiveness. When it comes to the issue of dealing with harm that has
		

			been done towards us. We quickly exceptionalist ourselves because we say, well, the Quran is
speaking to a different situation. And I actually want to walk back for a moment and think about
this for a bit. Oftentimes, it becomes very difficult to address some of the basic fundamentals of
the deen when it comes to relationships when it comes to, for example, where Allah subhanaw taala
mentions the obedience to the parents. And Allah subhanaw taala talks to us about the importance of
forgiving people, and not have someone say, but what about my situation? What about my situation?
What about my situation, my situation is exceptional. My situation is exceedingly difficult. And
		

			sometimes it is indeed exceptional, the Shediac treats cases in accordance with their unique
circumstances. But I want us to appreciate for a moment that the most difficult generation, or
rather the generation that had the most difficult circumstances in relation to some of these verses,
that demand from us these types of compromises, was the generation of the companions of the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa salam, think about what it meant for them to read through the constant verses
where Allah Subhana Allah mentions the treatment of the parents were many of them saw their parents
on the opposite side on the battlefield, in the Battle of bed there, think about how difficult it
		

			was for them to read the verses about forgiveness of your brothers that have harmed you. When they
now have at the helm Karla didn't unbelievable. The Allahu Taala animal who orchestrated the
massacre of multiple companions of the prophets lie some in the battle. And now the children of some
of those people, their siblings have to stand behind Kyle a little the Allahu Taala and home and
Battlefield and fight on one side, think about how hard it was for them. To hear these verses about
forgiveness and of moving forward think about the difficulty of the shuttle the Allahu Taala and the
the prime victim of the slander that took place of Hadith that would if what her circumstances were
		

			like, and think about the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam himself, when the prophets lie Selim
says that establishing the ties of kinship
		

			includes reconciling with those who have cut you off. And also Allah salAllahu Alaihe Salam, how he
was dealt with, with many of his kin, and he still SallAllahu Aarnio son, I'm trying to show a
bigger heart to them, and still try to extend his hand towards them. And so let's just appreciate
for a moment that, yes, forgiveness and some of these concepts can be very difficult. But there is
no generation that would have been more challenged by these higher ideals and these higher calls
than the companions of the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam. And so while there may be exceptions,
don't be so quick to accept analyze yourself, and recognize that the Quran wants to challenge us in
		

			the greatest way possible, to create a healthier community, but to also give us our individual
pathways to the highest place that we can possibly have an agenda. And I want to just Inshallah, to
go through a few of these instance and then talk about some of the ways that we can actually get
past certain things. What are some of the strategies that we have from the companions of the Prophet
slice Allah, that are Quranic based that are based in the Sunnah of the Prophet slice them to get
through complicated situations, and I wanted to actually mention some of these situations where
forgiveness was very complicated with the companions of the Prophet slicin. And one of them,
		

			involves the time of the fitna, when a war breaks out between two sides of the companions of the
messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
		

			And this civil war is instigated from the outside people have infiltrated the community of the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam they have killed the Khalifa is mono the Allahu Taala and who and
passions are very high, you have some companions that want to quickly avenge the loss of Earth model
the allot of time and hope you have ideal the alongside and who is trying to settle things down, and
ultimately a fight breaks out that is not organic, that is instigated from the outside, but that
sees some of the most blessed people in fact, the most blessed generation while the Allahu
Ultramarine may Allah be pleased with them all ended up on two sides of a battlefield
		

			And I want you to think about the perspective of this one man, I'm the loving or I'm gonna be also
the Allahu taala. And I'm the love no longer than us felt very uncomfortable with his circumstances
and had a very unique predicament. He heard the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam say when he was
speaking about to armies of believers breaking out and talking about where the signs of truth would
be, he heard the Prophet science and I'm saying that about our motto biasa will the Allahu Anhu talk
to who adhere to Berea the army that is the transgressing army. When this fitna breaks out, you will
know it because the transgressing army will be the one that kills our model NASA will be allowed to
		

			add on when this fight breaks out amongst companions, the best people. And so Abdullah saw himself
on the day of this battle. And on the other side is amount of money Austin and Abdullah was a person
who just wanted to focus on worship. He didn't want anything to do with any of this fighting. He
wanted to stay out of everything.
		

			And as he sees himself on that day, and he does not want to get involved in any of the fitna doesn't
want to get involved in any of the hardship, any harming of anybody. His father reminds him as he
wants to abandon the battlefield, that the prophets lie Selim said, outlet a back, I'm Adam to hire,
obey your father, as long as you live, that the Prophet slice I'm told Abdullah, obey your father as
long as your life.
		

			So what did he do? He stayed, he held one of the flags, he put his head down, he cried, he did not
throw a single arrow in the battle. Nor did he lift the sword one time, he did not participate. He
simply obeyed His Father and He held the banner and in such pain to see this Fallout happen. Such
pain to see this Fallout happened between the best of people because even the best of people can
have this happen to them.
		

			And afterwards, one of his close friends was in Hussein, have no idea what are the Allahu anha. And
in her saying about the Allahu Anhu was very hurt. Your childhood friend is on the other side
participating in this and it's very hurtful to him that this took place and years pass, and that
relationships never going to be the same again. And subhanAllah This is a very human element and you
can see all the complexities of the situation.
		

			These people came back together and came back under one banner again and sorted themselves through
the fitna. But the damage the pain that took place as a result of that that was done. And for a lot
of people getting over that is not something that they could think of. And I'm loving your honor
also the Allahu Allahu Allah. He knew how hurt Al Hussein al the Allahu Anhu was. So what would he
do? Just look at this Subhan Allah when it Hossain would walk into a gathering and say a Salam or
Aleikum.
		

			Everyone would say, why are you going to Sudan? We're not going to LA he'd wait until the others
finish. So he could say why are you going to Sudan Moroccan Salah separately so his voice could be
heard separately like I'm talking back to you. Why are you going to sit down? I hope you notice
we're still brothers, that we're still friends.
		

			And they're saying, well, the Allahu Anhu did not acknowledge it, except for the basic setup, they
said salaam to each other, but they never really went back to being tight again.
		

			And Abdullah and I would cry and he would say, Maddie will what? He said clean manually. Italian
Muslimeen. What is it with me? How did I find myself in that predicament? How did I find myself in a
battle between Muslims and believers? I never wanted to be involved in these situations. And he'd
cry.
		

			And his old friend that Hussein Well, the Allahu Anhu walks by and he tells some of his companions,
he says, Allah Bureau can be a heartbeat earlier this summer. He says to the people around them, he
says, You want me to tell you who the most beloved people are the most beloved of people on earth to
the inhabitants of the heavens is you want me to tell you who the best person right now amongst us
is. He says that person in her saying, but he said he hasn't spoken to me since the day of Sophie.
Monica lemony Mundo Sophie. And he cried. I want it back. I want us to forgive each other and move
on. I want him to hear me out. I know why he's upset with me. He saw me on the other side holding a
		

			banner and he never felt he never maybe let that go. Maybe he's giving me the rights of a Muslim but
he never let it go. So Alyssa Aidilfitri are the Allahu Taala and who sees the situation? He comes
to Abdullah and he says let's go talk to him together. This is after some time has passed.
		

			And Elissa aid was very close to her saying so he brings Abdullah ignore Omdurman us to meet Al
Hussein may Allah be pleased with them all.
		

			And Hussein all the Allahu Anhu season so now more income when it comes to Salam again, he gives
them the rights of a brother but I really can't go past that with you right now.
		

			And I will say aid tries to break the ice between these two brothers. And then her say Hussein asked
him the question that has been burning inside of him for years. How did you fight against my father?
How could you hold a banner and an army against my father
		

			How could you do that? And Abdullah says to him Wallahi nothing was more hated to me than being in
the battlefield. And I wanted to abandon the battlefield altogether. And I never wanted to involve
myself in fitna and hardship and tribulation. He said, But one time my father complained about me to
the Prophet salallahu alayhi salam, not that I was disobedient to him, but that I pray too much. And
I fasted too much and I read too much Quran and the prophets lie some told me to moderate my
recitation of the Quran moderate my prayer, fast less because you're gonna burn yourself out. And
then he said, Yeah, yeah, Abdullah, up there aback. Oh, Abdullah, obey your father as long as he's
		

			alive.
		

			And so he said, I found myself in a predicament where I had to obey my father. But he said to him,
saying, he said, I didn't throw an arrow. I didn't hold a sword. I just carried the banner and
assembled the law and who forgave him. And they reconciled Subhanallah look how complicated
forgiveness can be. This whole time had this conversation happened earlier. And Hussein may have
known about a circumstance from Abdullah that would have made his heart softened towards him. Had
Abdullah gone to him and forced the conversation, maybe it would have thought a little bit earlier.
And there is the noble man of Abu Saeed that sees two people that says, You know what, I'm going to
		

			take you and I'm going to make you sit with this person. And I'm going to end this now.
		

			Forgiveness can be complicated, it can be very complicated, and it was harder on them than anybody
else in some of these situations. Subhanallah what harder than for Abu Bakr to study called the
Allahu Taala and hope to forgive the man who slandered his daughter, and to continue to give him
sadaqa what harder than that a man who caused this much misery to you, to your daughter to the most
beloved person in the world to Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa salam. But look what happens. Now, what
do we do in these situations? And what's the balancing act? Because there is forgiveness and
accountability, right? So what do we do when we find ourselves in some of these situations and
		

			recognize that sometimes it's not that simple. It's not simply just say somebody come and hug it out
in the masjid and it's over. Sometimes there is a lot that's happening in the background. There are
three things that you take from the companions of the prophets of Allah on us. Number one,
		

			is to try to find the redeeming factors of the person. What's redeeming in your relationship? When
Allah azza wa jal talks about divorce without tensile Fabula Boehner calm don't forget the good
times between you and what are the redeeming factors? So for example, what was it With Missa? Who
slandered you so the Allahu taala. And he was one of the people of better, what was it with?
		

			What was it with how to be belterra a very intriguing story, it will the Allahu anhu, a man who was
from the Veterans embedded, and who got caught in a weak moment. And who wrote a letter when the
prophets lie son was going into Fetta Hammacher into the conquest of Mecca wrote a letter to the
Mexicans in advance to inform them over the prophets plan SallAllahu Sallam not because he was a
hypocrite, but because he didn't have any allies in Mecca. So if things didn't go right, he was he
thought he was going to be apprehended and he was going to be the most vulnerable of the companions.
So in a moment of weakness, he wrote a letter Djibouti to it his salaam came to the Prophet sighs
		

			I'm told him about it. And also la si some son Ali and Zubaydah and dad to catch the person who was
on her way with the letter and intercepted and when it came back to the Prophet sighs I don't
imagine how tough is in front of the prophets lie sentimental, the Allahu Anhu. And look what you've
done. You almost just compromise the Prophet slice, I'm in the companions. Why?
		

			And Amara de la Anna says, he's a hypocrite, let me and him. And also Allah sai Salam says, first of
all, he's a person of British. He reminded our model the law and who that No, he's a veteran of
better so there's something to him because people didn't come out together to that were hypocrites.
They were good people, the best of people that came out to better.
		

			And he asked how to what happened and how to set deatils Walla Walla, he I did not do so to put you
in harm's way or anyone else. But all the other companions have people in Mecca that could help them
out if the battle doesn't go right if things don't go, right. They have allies, they have tribal
connections, I have nobody. So if things were going to go wrong, I was going to be the most in
trouble. So I got weak and I wanted to just establish some sort of a link so that I wouldn't be
vulnerable in that situation. He was held accountable, but he was also forgiven. So the first thing
was thinking about something good about the person, what are the redeeming qualities of a person
		

			when you have that type of
		

			harm that takes place between you? What's something redeeming that I can think of in terms of their
Eman in terms of their Salah in terms of their Salah in terms of their righteousness? Number two.
Number two.
		

			Can I look at the circumstances of the situation and not justify the person's wrongdoing with the
circumstances, but still say the circumstances were different
		

			Hold on that person and I can forgive them even though it's not an excuse. I'm not excusing the
behavior of the love No, I'm not the law 100 Hussein or the Allah Allah Al Hussein is not excusing
the love No, but he understands now a little bit more about the circumstances that he was in that
maybe led him to that predicament. The prophets like Selim saying we can understand and how to have
as bad of a decision he made the mistake that he made the circumstances there's room there from sunk
for some personal one, for some good assumption, something to be extrapolated to give that person a
means towards forgiveness. Number three, focusing on the greater reward.
		

			Number three, focusing on the greater reward. Well, yeah, for the US for Ella to have been an
athlete Hola Hola, como. Let them forgive and let them part in Don't you want Allah subhanaw taala
to forgive you. So the first thing is finding something redeeming about the other person. The second
thing is finding an excuse due to the circumstances without excusing their behavior in the
circumstances. The third thing is when they aren't for what you asked for who enter to help Bonilla
fit Hola Hola, como. Forgive and pardon? Don't you want Allah subhanaw taala to forgive and pardon
you. Now, here's the other side of that. Allah subhanaw taala is speaking to us about a situation in
		

			which a person is repentance, in which a person is seeking forgiveness. Allah is not speaking about
the unrepentant transgressor, nor is Allah subhanaw taala speaking about checking, a harm that is
still imminent to someone else, so you don't put someone in an abusive situation. You don't say
about someone who does not seek forgiveness, that we should forgive them. Right, you can remove
yourself from the prison of a grudge without still, you know, forgiving a person who hasn't sought
forgiveness. Allah subhanaw taala is still establishes an environment of accountability. And this is
actually the power of the Quran in this regard. As much as Allah subhanaw taala is pushing us to
		

			forgive and as much as Allah subhanaw taala talks about the repentance having a way forward. Allah
does not use kinds language towards oppressors and transgressors in the Quran the way he uses it to
a person who sins on their own and has their individual since the language that Allah subhanaw taala
uses to oppressors is don't think you're gonna get away with this. Don't think that Allah subhanaw
taala is unaware. Don't think that Allah subhanaw taala does not see you're wrong. It tackles volume
for in the form of oral natron Yama, Yama, beware of wronging someone because it will be darkness
for you on the Day of Judgment. So the language that Allah uses towards the person doing the
		

			oppressing and doing the wrongdoing is very harsh language. And Allah subhanaw taala simply leaves a
window of Toba without speaking lovingly to that person, and this is something that some of their
element mentioned. Allah speaks lovingly to the sinner in the Quran calls them back to Allah Kalia
Eva the Alladhina Astra for Allah and forcing him. La Tekna toma Rahmatullah say, Oh, my servant who
has transgressed against themselves don't despair from the mercy of Allah. But when Allah speaks to
the oppressor in Alladhina, Fattah and many in our community through Melania, Tubu Fela Hamada Bucha
Hannah Mala Hamada will hurry those who have harmed and put to trial the believing men in the
		

			believing women and they don't repent. They have a way to repentance as well. But the language is a
lot harsher. Allah Subhana Allah, Allah will put them into hellfire and Allah Subhana Allah, Allah
will punish them severely. So there has to be an initiation. And if you are on the other side of
that, do not let your arrogance and do not let your sense of immunity stop you from going and
seeking forgiveness from someone that you've harmed and do not depend on the other person's Teskey
to get you out of *. That person might forgive you because they want a higher reward from Allah
Subhana Allah to Allah, but you still might be punished because you need to be forgiven by that
		

			person and by Allah Subhana Allah to Allah. And so there's that balance of a higher incentive for a
person to forgive, and a higher sense of urgency to go seek forgiveness when attacks are done. Hola,
rafidah, Emiliana Lattimore. And don't think Allah subhanaw taala is unaware. But their brothers and
sisters, it was complicated for the companions. None of these situations, none of these ayat that
came down none of these are Hadith that came down, ignored people's complexities. They just called
us to the highest version of ourselves, and the believers always strive to be in the best position.
And I end with this thought, Subhan Allah. Was there ever anyone that could come to the Prophet
		

			sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and say that he wronged them, and did not provide them any recourse.
One of the proofs of his prophethood in fact, that the scholars mentioned is that as many of these
things happen as a nature as natural is between human beings, not a single person could come to the
Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam when he started his call and say but remember you still owe me this
and you still did this to me and you did that to me and you did this to me was sola slice and I'm
had no grievances against him. Even in
		

			that in the heat of the climate, no one could bring forth a personal grievance against the Prophet
slicin. Think about that. Think about that. May Allah freed us from being grieved on the day of
judgment by our own sins and transgressions and may Allah subhanaw taala allow us to get past our
own grievances with a higher reward and may Allah subhanaw taala comfort us in a way that only he
can comfort us Lama Amin a Furukawa was stuck with Allah. Allah commonly said the Muslim investor
fill in the hole for
		

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